Our 143rd Dad in the Limelight is author Anthony DeBenedet. I want to thank Anthony for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Anthony DeBenedet. My day job is gastroenterologist at the University of Michigan. My all the time job is father of three energetic daughters. I recently co-wrote a parenting book called [amazon_link id=”1594744874″ target=”_blank” ]The Art of Roughhousing[/amazon_link].
2) Tell me about your family
I met my wife Anna while I was an undergraduate at Duke University. She is the most extraordinary woman I know and the heart of our family. We have three daughters— Ava, Mia, and Lola.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Balancing my house/father responsibilities with work responsibilities. I think every working parent faces this and it’s never easy. We are pulled in so many different directions these days. If you can recognize when you’re off balance, that’s half the battle.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Be playful with your kids and partner. There’s nothing more beneficial for your kids and it will help keep the spark alive between you and your partner.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
I’ve found the best way to manage work and my personal life is to make sure that I’m truly present when I’m with my family. I make sure they know I am really “there” with them. I try not to do anything work related when I with my family. That means when I’m at the park I’m at the park—not checking my email on my cell phone. And, again, keeping things light and playful helps too. For kids, this means playing with them—and, like I advocate in the book—playing with them in a physical way might be the most important thing we can do as parents.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
Today’s dads are trying very hard to have an impact on their kids’ lives. More and more, I’m seeing dads showing up at their kids’ events, dads helping their kids with their homework, and dads shouldering more of the responsibilities that moms traditionally handled. Fathers are finding their voice and are just present now more than ever. This is all very exciting. The days of the silent stoic father are vanishing.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I’d say don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t feel like you have to have it all figured out. I don’t really have a specific example to share, but I think most dads know when they are trying to be Superdad. When this happens, it’s usually our interactions and conversations with our family that start to deteriorate first. Sometimes we need to stop, slow down, and relax.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
I’d say the most memorable times are when we’re just all hanging out as a family. We might not be doing anything radically special, but we are simply “being” with each other. We’re laughing and giggling. Maybe we’re out for ice cream and sharing what happened during our day. Or maybe we’re just sitting on the couch. But we’re definitely having fun—together.
If you have any questions for Anthony, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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