self esteem - Dad of Divas

How to Regain Your Confidence After Becoming a Dad

October 16, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

You hear a lot about how moms suffer with a lack of confidence and low self-esteem after having a child, and quite rightly so – it is a massive undertaking to create a whole human being and your mind, body and soul is greatly tested.

However, having a child can also be quite debilitating for dads too. True, men do not have to undergo physical changes when they have a child, though the dad bod is quite a common occurrence. When it comes to mental changes, however, they can easily lose confidence in their appearance and abilities as a man during this hugely life-changing stage.

Putting your partner and child first in the first few weeks or even months is laudable and even advisable, but there comes a time when you need to start taking care of yourself also.

If you are currently struggling to find the positives in yourself, then read on to see how you can turn your feelings around and start loving life (and, most importantly, yourself) again.

Focus on your own identity

When you become a parent, you can often lose sight of who you once were and only see yourself as a mom or dad as opposed to an individual with their own needs and desires.

Try and spend a few moments everyday thinking about what makes you you. This may have changed since you became a parent, and that doesn’t matter, but make sure that you focus on elements that are related to not only you as a parent but also as a partner, a friend and an individual. Most importantly, make sure you focus on positive attributes and think about what you like about yourself.

Indulge in a makeover

A makeover doesn’t have to be a treat for moms only; dads too can benefit from a refresh in their appearance. Whether that be something as simple as a new shirt and pair of designer jeans or something a bit more dramatic such as a new head of hair with a FUE hair transplant.

You may be wondering, ‘what is FUE hair transplant?’ Well, if you have ever worried about hair loss or noticed that your hair has started to thin out a bit since you became a dad, then you should definitely check out this revolutionary procedure by GetHair.

Improve yourself from the inside

The phrase, ‘you are what you eat,’ couldn’t be truer. If you want to look good on the outside, then you need to look after yourself on the inside. You may have been neglecting your own health since becoming a dad, relying on takeaways and convenience food to get you through those sleepless nights, but you can’t continue like that indefinitely.

Try and set yourself a healthy eating challenge, because who doesn’t love having a few goals to achieve? Whether that be eating your five a day without fail, cutting back on sugar or stopping ordering a Chinese every Friday night, any step, however small, can make a difference.

Whilst on the subject of improving your health, trying to factor in a bit of exercise to your daily routine can also work wonders on your confidence; not only could you lose a few pounds, but you will also get some time for yourself, away from being a dad. This is something that we all need to do regularly in order to thrive as individuals.

Plus, you need to keep fit now so that you can keep up with your little ones!

Ultimately, confidence comes from within, so even if you don’t feel a million dollars, plastering on a smile can work wonders for your mood and even make those around you feel happier.

Go on, try it.

Dove is Supporting the Self-Esteem of our Girls!

October 7, 2015 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Dove Men+ Care has been doing some amazing things to work to support the self esteem of young women everywhere and I have to be come of the first to say thank you! As a father of two girls, the self-esteem of my girls is SO important and to have a brand that is stepping out there providing great content as well as videos that are geared toward parents and kids is amazing!

Here are two videos I wanted to share with you today!

If you want to follow along with this effort check out the Pinterest Dove Self-Esteem Project that they have developed!

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Media’s Portrayal of Women, Sending the Wrong Message to Our Daughters

August 14, 2015 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

As a father of girls I am always concerned about my girls’ self esteem. This video explores the Media’s portrayal of women and is a must watch for all parents of girls!

Media’s Portrayal of Women, Sending the Wrong Message to Our Daughters

August 14, 2015 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

As a father of girls I am always concerned about my girls’ self esteem. This video explores the Media’s portrayal of women and is a must watch for all parents of girls!

Tuesday Talking – Daddy, Do I look pretty?

April 21, 2015 by dadofdivas 25 Comments

Daddy, do I look pretty? I mean what else can you say to this question, but yes! I think the first time any father gets this type of question they are probably as shocked as I was, as any parent thinks that their children are the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, right? If a father does not believe this then they need to truly think to consider for themselves what kind of father they are or that they want to be.

I believe that all fathers should be their daughters’ most staunch advocate. It is not for a father to criticize or demean a child in any way. In fact in my opinion, fathers who do this are not being fathers at all, they are instead being bullies which should not be father material!

A daughters’ self-esteem is so much intertwined with their relationship with their fathers, for better or worse. A daughter looks at their father for him to be the man that they want to support, uphold and encourage them from early age on. A father also sets the standard for relationships that they have in the future, and how the father treats them as well as how they treat their wife will make a HUGE impact on their emotional well-being that will stay with them for years to come.

Too often today our society shares such mixed messages with our daughters in regards to beauty. When they watch television (even from a young age) they are seeing main characters that look and act a certain way. This unconsciously teaches our daughters so much about how they should act, dress and treat others. The hard thing is that so much of what they are learning is not what parents want them to learn. I know that for me, as a father, I want my daughters to feel confident about themselves no matter how they look. Whether they look like what they see on television is inconsequential to me. What is more important is that they have the ability to be strong in their convictions and know that they are confident and comfortable with the person that they are and that no one else can ever change that.

This is not an easy task, but if you are a father of girls, I challenge you to set the example that you need to set and let your daughters know how pretty / beautiful they truly are both internally and externally as this is SO important to them in the long run!

The Strength Within: Simple Tips for Teens to Build Self-Esteem

January 28, 2014 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Create a list of words that describe you. Some of them should be unique, beautiful, and strong. Low self- esteem is one of the major challenges people face every day, especially young women. Images projected through television, music, social media and magazines have caused us to glorify celebrities and want to imitate them. Unfortunately, we fail to realize that, a lot of what we see is not reality and does not reflect true beauty. Technology has made it possible for celebrities to look perfect using Adobe Photoshop, cosmetic surgery, and professional makeup. But why would you want to be a copy when you can be an original? We are all made with differences ranging from the color of our skin, to the shape and size of our body. No matter where you are from or what you look like, take pride in who you are and fall in love with everything about you. True beauty lies within.

Here are a few tips that will help you build your inner confidence.

Daily Affirmations

³I am ambitious and can achieve all things.² Start every day by saying something positive about yourself. Affirm how great you are! Positive reinforcement is important. By telling yourself this, you are creating a mentality and atmosphere that will allow you to be productive and seek goodness in anything you do. There is power in words. Speak life to your future.

Reward Yourself

Celebrate your success! It takes hard work and dedication to set goals and accomplish them. Whether you passed an exam with a good grade or received a scholastic award, take time out to celebrate. Grab some friends and head out for a night on the town or have a dinner and a movie at home. Either way sit back relax and enjoy your achievements. Remember it is not easy to stay focused and complete a goal. So give yourself a pat on the back!

Break Barriers!

One of the biggest obstacles faced when building self-confidence is fear. Fear is mental! It is defined as F-alse E-vidence A-ppearing R-eal in your mind of failure. The best way to overcome your fears is to step outside your comfort zone and not be afraid to fail. If you are terrified of public speaking, the only way to overcome that fear is to push yourself to walk up on a stage, stand behind the podium and speak! And keep doing it until you feel comfortable! Simply volunteering as a host in a school production, joining a Toastmasters club or even being on the debate team, can help you begin to build inner confidence. You will wake up one day and realize that an area you used to be afraid of has become one of your greatest strengths. Sometimes, overcoming our fears can lead us to future passions and ultimately our purpose. Never limit yourself. Tackling your fears could lead you to your greatest achievements.

POSITIVITY IS KEY

Life will undoubtedly, have its ups and downs and mistakes will happen. However, dealing with disappointment is being able to tell yourself everything will be okay. Self-motivation is essential. You have to be able to encourage yourself even when there is no one around to motivate you. Positive self-talks will help you push through any obstacle you are faced with. When your conscious tells you ³I can¹t do this², you must say loud and proud ³Yes I CAN². Consistently, speak great things and life will give you extraordinary rewards. In addition, keep a circle of positive people that give off good vibes, keep you motivated and want to see you succeed. With an ³I CAN² attitude and supportive friends, you will be equipped to overcome any obstacle in your path.

Treating your body right

Eating healthy and exercising is another way to boost your self -confidence. Feeling good about the person in the mirror starts of by exercising and eating right. If you look better, you will feel better about yourself. Eating fruits, vegetables, good carbs and a variety of lean meats allows your body to maintain strong bones and gain energy. Exercising keeps the body actively working to the best of its ability. When talking about exercising, that does not necessarily mean getting a gym membership. You can go for bike rides, jog around in your neighborhood, go swimming or even pull up a Zumba video on YouTube. No matter what activity you do, looking and feeling good will be the end rewards. Taking the pledge to make healthy eating choices while staying active, will boost your confidence as people continuously compliment you on how great you look.

Loving You

BE YOU! Nobody¹s perfect, we all have flaws and faults and that¹s what makes us human. Your ideas, gifts, perspectives, voice and physical features make you one of a kind. Let your voice be heard and showcase your talents. Don¹t let anyone define you. Embrace the person in the mirror because you are the way you are for a reason. Laugh louder and smile wider because you have something to offer the world. Be comfortable in your own skin and accept both your external and internal beauty.

Confidence brings light to your inner self. Define what makes you different and create your own personal brand. Remember, there is no one like you and you should love being who you are. Live life and be grateful for each day, continue to see the beauty in yourself and shine the light on others.

About Akilah C. Thompson:

Akilah C. Thompson is a Summa Cum Laude graduate of North Carolina A & T State University where she earned Bachelor of Science degrees in Accounting and Business Economics. She is an IRS Enrolled Agent, Certified Life Coach, Licensed Zumba Instructor, and Inspirational Speaker. She is the Founder & CEO of her trademark company ACT Inspires Inc and nonprofit, Generations Inspired Inc. Akilah is also a model, actor, and author. Her life goal is to inspire and empower others to be Ambitious , Courageous & Talented. For more information, please visit Act Inspires.

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Brave Woman ( @Brave_Woman ) Is A Great Site That Supports All Brave Women Today! #CBias #BraveWoman

December 27, 2011 by dadofdivas 22 Comments

What Is Brave Woman?

Brave Woman is a grassroots movement to shift personal and public perception of women facing domestic violence situations from a victim mentality to one of courage and strength. The ultimate goal is action to create a world community that

Supports difficult decisions involved in creating a new life of safety, healing and independence.
Is aware of the presence of domestic violence and its impact on families.

THEIR SHARED VISION is that every woman and child will have the supportive resources they need to live without fear in their homes and see themselves as courageous victors, finally free from family violence.

They are networking with international advocates to end domestic violence one woman, one family at a time. Become a Brave Woman Champion. Take the pledge today and join other brave women in your area. Everyone who joins the Brave Woman community receives a free download of Jana Stanfield’s song, What Would I Do Today If I Were Brave and other sources of reflection and encouragement.

My Take On This

As a father of two girls I have to say that I completely support this cause and this organization. While the website itself is still developing the ideals behind the site itself are great and need to be addressed. I know that I for one have been sharing the online pledge with other fathers that I know of that have daughters as this organization does a ton and the potential for this organization is endless!

I have heard the stories of many women over the years that I would consider to be brave, I cannot say that I have known anyone personally that has been abused in this way, but I know that it occurs and that it needs to stop! The women that escape from this, in my opinion, are very brave, as they set themselves out to an unknown future, but they know that they deserve better, and they do!

I know that I want my own girls to be able to grow up and be brave, to stand up for themselves and to never allow anyone take control over them. I can only hope that I am up to the task to help them to learn these skills as they get older!

I highly encourage you to go to the Brave Woman website and take the pledge to support this cause, it is definitely worth it and you will be taking a stand for something important and meaningful!

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for CollectiveBias.

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How Self Esteem Can Be More Powerful Than Bullies

September 15, 2011 by dadofdivas 44 Comments

Dr. Bill Page would rather teach than do just about anything else any day of the week.

“During my career I was an educator and administrator in elementary, middle and high schools, as well as college, for 33 years,” Page said. “During that time I enjoyed serving as a Boy and Cub Scout master, and a Sunday school teacher. Through all that time, I have seen just about everything children can experience, both positive and negative, and helped these kids solve what many today see as practically unsolvable problems. For the most part, I didn’t have any special technology or divine wisdom. All I had was the head on my shoulders and the heart beating in my chest, and for 33 years those were the only tools I needed.”

Page, a PhD who in retirement became a children’s book author known as Billy D, said that he has dealt with the absolute worst kids in his school and the best ones, too. In most cases, he said that they were one and the same, just on different days.

“It doesn’t take a PhD to figure out why a kid bullies another kid, or why that kid lets the other one bully him,” said Page, author of the children’s book series The Marion Series(www.billydbooks.com). “Both kids are scared of something. The kid who is being bullied is afraid of getting beat up, and the bully is afraid of most everything. The secret is being able to connect with them and figure out what both kids are afraid of and helping them face and defeat those fears. The heart of the matter is really one of the most basic truths I know: every child is special. If you want to prevent problems, then parents and teachers simply need to remind kids of this fact on a regular basis. If you tell them often enough, they’ll begin to believe it and feel it, too.”

But as much as Page is an idealist, he also knows he has to channel that idealism to kids through some harsh realism.

“I put the characters in my books through some paces,” he said. “They encounter the challenges of responsibility, honesty, self-pride, peer pressure, sibling rivalry, and race relations. They experience the consequences of drug use, over-confidence and facing ridicule. On the other hand, my characters also see the benefits from loving people, befriending them and cooperating with others. My characters are grounded by events that are true-to-life, so that the kids who read them, who are also dealing with the realism in their lives, can relate, understand and learn.”

In that way, Page believes kids who read his stories can unconsciously see the parallels in their own lives, and learn the same lessons his characters learn in his stories.

“Is the bully somehow less special than the bullied?” he asked. “Or are both simply good kids in a bad situation who need to see that their lives can be better if they only see how special they are and the difference they can make in other lives? We all need to know where we keep our strength, the parts of ourselves that help us overcome adversities. If our children don’t learn where those places are when they’re kids, they won’t know where to find those places as adults.”

About Bill “BillyD” Page

Bill D. Page, PhD, a.k.a. BillyD, is a graduate of Marion High School, Northern Iowa, Michigan State and St. Louis Universities. He has published two books for children ages nine to twelve, and has others for children two to six near completion. Dr. Page has been a teacher at all levels of public education from elementary through graduate school in Manson and Marion, Iowa, Lincoln Park, Michigan and adjunct professor for Western Michigan University. He lives with his wife of sixty-three years in Muskegon, Michigan. They have three children, seven grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. He and his wife are proud to state that there have been no divorces in their immediate family, which has accumulated 181 years of marriage. (www.billydbooks.com)

Book Review – Please Read (If at all possible) The Girl Scout Project

August 8, 2011 by dadofdivas 1 Comment

About the Book
Female adolescence through the eyes of teenage girls for a teenage-girl audience. This empowering volume introduces the reader to an insider’s view of teenage girlhood. Through their participation in The Girl Project-created in 2007 by Kate Engelbrecht to explore the personal realities of modern female adolescence-teenage girls contributed intimate, heartwarming, diarylike text entries and photographs that capture their personal and private moments. To date, over 5,000 girls between the ages of 13 and 18 have sent in photographs, along with anonymously completed questionnaires that communicate their view of themselves and the world around them. This collection of images and text details the private and personal lives of adolescents, which together reveal an amazing narrative communicated as only teenage girls know and understand. The girls touch upon universal issues, such as their struggles with self-confidence and body image, relationships with peers and family, and their dissatisfaction with how they are presented by the media and in popular culture.

Teen readers will be rewarded with a wonderful set of sincere, deep messages and the reassurance that they are not alone.

My Take on the Book
Kate Engelbrecht holds a BA in sociology. She began the Kate Engelbrecht Photography in New York City. Her project in 2007 was to reach out to girls across the country. She sent 5000 cameras and questionnaires to girls between the ages of 13-18. The girls responded with film and entries which she shares in this book.

From the photos and the entries , Kate as able to show the struggles with self confidence and body image, the girls’ relationships with peers and family, and their dissatisfaction with how they are represented in the media.

This is a photographic , as well as a journal book. It will be a challenge to relate to you the content as it encompasses so many facets and emotions, however I will attempt to do that now.

The journals portray young women who were concerned about their body image, about being loved for who they are, and being able to express themselves in the world for who they want to be and not who society wants them to be. It was interesting to read the girls descriptions of themselves: they can say they are strong, sarcastic, and funny , but then they can show themselves as quiet, compassionate, and shy. Often the brave in outward appearances are really frightened on the inside.

The photos showed young women from all areas of the country, religious backgrounds, and cultures. Sad ,happy, fashion conscious , silly, scared, and those who showed the lack of confidence in ever being enough in the eyes of the world. So many sad entries of young women who felt they could never be beautiful enough or do enough for the people around them so they would love them as they are .So many of the young girls concerned with their weight, looks, clothes, rather than the beauty that they are and in who they are already.

This book should be shared with parents,counselors, religious leaders, scout leaders, medical professionals, anyone who can be connected with young women. We need to help them see and feel how special they are , just as they are. We need to help them celebrate their uniqueness, talents and the contributions they are making to their world. Our society needs to stop the negative comments and expectations we put on young women today. Once we do this we will be able to raise and praise mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy young women. We need to cherish them.

How do we do this? It begins today with the conversations you have with a young woman in your life. You can be the catalyst for the change . You never know where you influence will begin and end.

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Love’s Compass – A Book That Will Redefine Your Relationships

September 23, 2010 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

About the Book

Trying to find one’s true love is never an easy task. Along the way, there are often heartbreaks and turmoils that we wish we could forget. Wrong people. Bad decisions. How’d I end up here again? Not a typical, sterile self help book, this story grips your heart from chapter one and never lets go. Experience life through the eyes of a man who set out on a noble journey of finding his love, and ended up horribly losing his way. The revelations he made in the aftermath of torrid love affairs and battles with addiction are sure to help anyone who has experienced the craziness of love gone wrong in search of a life mate. Somewhere along the way readers will lose themselves in the struggles of this man, and cheer him on as he strives to find his way out the other side, all the while learning principles of love that are sure to change their own lives.

Important things to consider before dating anyone
The most common mistakes people make to sabotage relationships
7 keys to consider before marriage

This book is a must read for any skeptic of love. Creatively written to help one gain insight into their own relational issues and with an ending that is sure to challenge your
perspective

About the Author
Harnessing his training and personal experiences, Angus communicates a grace-filled message of hope and restoration to men across the country. His delivery is as honest, vulnerable and transparent as you’ll ever experience. this refreshing candidness is an intentional approach, his philosophy being: “when you show yourself vulnerable, you give others permission to do the same”. His energetic passion, contagious joy, and straight-forwardness leaves every group he speaks to inspired and changed.

Angus Nelson, speaker and writer, is an authority on the emotional and relational needs of men with almost 20 years of experience in ministry and counseling. He’s been awarded Volunteer Citizen of the Year 2002 in Wausau, WI, and “Most Promising New Writer 2010” by the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. As a professional speaker, Monster.com’s “Make It Count” high school program ranked him in their top 5% of speakers and he’s currently speaking for college, corporate, and conference events. In 2009, he graduated from Leadership Huntsville, a city-wide leadership program he was nominated for in Huntsville, Alabama.

This year, he self-published his first book, Love’s Compass: When We’ve Lost Our Way, a vulnerable and gritty account of the destruction of his first marriage. He wrote this book for men who have struggled with relational and emotional issues in the arena of relationships. This is the book that awarded him the “Most Promising New Writer” award. It’s currently being reviewed for distribution with a national publisher.
A graduate of Rhema Bible Training Center in Youth Ministry; graduate of the Honor Academy with Teen Mania Ministries & Ron Luce; and a Minister of Theology and Counseling degree from Impact International, he’s served as a Youth Pastor, Associate Pastor, Worship Leader and Missionary having traveled to 12 countries on Five different continents.

Nelson is the founder and former Executive Director of a non-pro!t arts driven young adult center in Wausau, Wisconsin, called Rockwater. In addition, he has also served as the Executive Director for a faith-based leadership development organization for young adults, Renown of Huntsville, Alabama.

His life’s been anything but boring, having hosed chili vats, stuffed wood chips in bags, sold health club memberships, told off Jean-Claude Van Damme, modeled for a JCrew Christmas catalog, and even helped Bruce Willis call his bookie once. Throughout all of this, he’s waited tables, been a ski resort ticket checker, carpenter, telemarketer, and landscaper. With the background in theology, he’s served as youth leader, worship leader, counselor, speaker, and now, writer.

Angus and his wife, Samantha, Nelson make their home in Huntsville, Alabama. they have three children.

My Take on the Book
I had the distinct pleasure to meet Angus and his wife Samantha (as well as the kids) at the M3 Summit that I attended in Atlanta, earlier this month. In sitting down with him he started to talk a bit about his book and I was intrigued. I was very happy when he offered me a copy and I was able to sit down with it. Once I started the book I did not want to stop. I read most of the book in the 2 hour flight home from Atlanta so as you can guess, it was a page turner and it drew me in.

The book itself hit me right smack dab in the heart. It is powerful and makes you think about your own relationships and where you are in relationships to them. It makes you ask so many questions about yourself as well as about the actions that you are or have taken in the past to hinder your ability to love others.

The book is so personal and insightful. It allows you to see that it is ok to lose your way. That it is ok to lose your way, as long as you do what you must to be able to find your way back. The book provides the reader the chance to go along for the ride on the personal and spiritual journey that he goes on to eventually find the happiness and love that he was always looking for.

The books helps people from all walks of life relate to the fact that people are trapped in ruts, sexual addictions, low self-esteem and dealing with other such issues. Though it does this, it allows the reader to make their own judgments about themselves about what they need to do to be able to make a difference in their own life so that they can develop and solidify a meaningful healthy love relationship.

I would truly recommend this book to anyone that has ever questioned what their life means, or what it has in store for them. You will be both amazed, inspired and motivated to make a change for the better in your own life.

His writing reminds me of another author, Donald Miller. In the books of his that I have read, he also writes in such a way that he draws in the reader and allows them to also live the story that he is sharing, very much like Angus does in Love’s Compass.

If you want to make a change in your life, you need to read this book! Below I have included the presentation that Angus gave at the M3 Conference. If you have the time, it is definitely worth it to watch!

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site’s Terms of Use for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.

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Focus on your own identity

Indulge in a makeover

Improve yourself from the inside

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