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One Dad's Quest to Regain Control of his Kingdom

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When a Marriage Can’t Be Saved

October 14, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

When a Marriage Can't Be Saved

When two partners get married, the marriage is always seen as being together forever. They’re the love of each other’s lives and will hopefully grow old together. During the first year of their marriage, they’ll buy a home and will probably be expecting a child together. Throughout their many years of marriage and parenthood, there will be plenty of good memories to look back on. There were also be bad times, arguments, and fights.

Arguing and fighting is expected to happen every now and then in a marriage as well as relationships and engagements. After both of you have let out your anger and frustration, you calm down, are able to think with a clear head, and apologize. Disagreements are also expected to happen often in a marriage, but plenty of partners are able to figure out a compromise. But if these arguments, fights, and disagreements become more frequent, it might be one of the first signs that being married isn’t working out anymore.

Once it starts to become obvious that a marriage isn’t the same as how it started, many couples will try to find a way to bring back that newlywed spark. Before turning to family law professionals, like KoonsFuller Family Law, couples may schedule more alone time together wherever they can. They’ll find a babysitter for the kids so they can have a date night. Date night can include going out to dinner, going to see a movie, or another enjoyable activity. Even though your kids are everything to you, couples need alone time to enjoy each other and remember why they got married.

Another thing a couple can do in an attempt to save their marriage is going on a getaway. Just like with date night, any kids you have together can be left with a babysitter. This getaway can be a weekend or a week-long trip. It can be camping in the woods, a cabin up in the mountains, a resort on the beach, etc. Whatever type of getaway both of you will enjoy, the choice is yours. All parents will agree that your kids are your world, but it can be nice to have a break from them and have all of your attention on each other.

If whatever idea you and your spouse come up with doesn’t rekindle the spark in your marriage, marriage counselors are available to help. They have the knowledge and experience to give suggestions on rekindling the romance based on why the marriage seems to be going downhill. Besides doing what they can to help your marriage work out, they also know if it’s best that you get a divorce.

Going through a divorce can be hard and stressful. You’re separating from the person you thought was the love of your life. You’ve spent the last decade or two having them as your life partner. You’ve raised kids together, have gone on plenty of adventures, and have stuck by each other’s sides through thick and thin. Whatever struggles life threw at you, you faced and survived them all.

A divorce can be difficult for any kids involved. All kids grow up viewing their parents’ marriage as being together forever. The most ideal childhood to have is both parents under one roof. The age of the kids at the time of the divorce can determine what their reactions will be. Teenagers may be upset and act out in response. Younger children may not fully be able to understand the situation but may be sad about mommy and daddy no longer being together.

When a divorce includes kids, one decision will be who’s going to have custody of them. If both partners are completely capable parents, it can be joint custody. If one parent is dealing with being unemployed or an alcohol or drug addict, the other parent may receive full custody.

Whatever the custody situation ends up being, it’s important that both parents are still in the kids’ lives. If the mother has full custody, the kids can visit their father on the weekends and vice versa. A divorce may mean that both parents go back to handling life on their own, but raising the kids is a responsibility that both share together.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: father, fatherhood, husband, marriage, relationship, relationships

7 Reasons A Loving Marriage Brings Hope and Security To Your Kids

July 14, 2017 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

7 Reasons A Loving Marriage Brings Hope and Security To Your Kids

7 Reasons A Loving Marriage Brings Hope and Security To Your Kids

 

A loving marriage is a wonderful thing to be part of. When you’re in a loving, supportive marriage, you feel safe and secure, knowing that your partner has your back and is always there for you.

 

Building a strong marriage takes long term work and commitment, with plenty of open communication, and a good dash of humor and forgiveness thrown in. The results are worth it – you’re building a bond that will last a lifetime.

 

There’s another positive aspect to a loving marriage, beyond the benefits it brings you and your partner: A loving marriage brings hope and security to your kids.

 

Coming from a home where a supportive, affectionate marriage is central, is nourishing and helpful for your children. Here are 7 reasons why keeping your marriage strong benefits your children too:

 

  1. Kids Feel More Secure

A home full of arguments or even the impending stress of a possible break up doesn’t provide security for children. It’s hard for kids to feel safe and secure when their home life is on a rocky ground.

 

A loving marriage gives kids a secure background and a safe home where they can relax and truly feel at ease. A harmonious home life boosts kids’ self esteem, reduces tension, and can even increase their confidence.

 

The importance of feeling secure cannot be overstated. By keeping your marriage stable, loving, you’re giving your kids a gift of great value.

 

  1. Affection Becomes The Norm

Seeing their parents be loving to each other lets kids see that affection is normal and natural. Kids who grow up in a home without a lot of hugs or hand holding are at risk of growing up unsure of their emotions or how best to express them healthily.

 

Growing up around affectionate parents helps kids grow up into affectionate, loving adults who aren’t afraid to show their love for others. One day in the future, they’ll show that same affection and openness to their own kids, continuing a positive cycle.

 

  1. They See What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like

One day your kids are going to grow up and get into relationships of their own. They may choose to marry. The relationship they see growing up gives them the idea of what a relationship is, and what it should look like.

 

Kids who see their parents treating each other with love and respect grow up with the healthy notion that respect and love are the norm in a relationship. They’ll have healthy expectations and, with some encouragement from you, will learn to reject any partner who doesn’t treat them with appropriate love and respect.

 

  1. Learning That Conflict Can Be Dealt With

Even the most loving marriage experiences a little conflict from time to time. If your marriage is strong and loving overall, the occasional conflict won’t be too frightening for your kids.

 

Seeing that you and your spouse can disagree but still treat each other kindly models excellent behavior for your kids as they grow. They’ll learn that conflict can be dealt with, and that it’s possible to disagree with someone without lashing out and using cruel words.

 

  1. They Learn The Importance Of Being Mindful Of Others

Seeing you and your spouse treating each other with consideration is a valuable life lesson for your children. When you’re in a loving marriage you’re kind to each other, and show thoughtfulness towards each other’s needs and feelings.

 

Teaching your kids to be mindful of others sets them up to become considerate, thoughtful adults who act with integrity and maturity in their relationships, and forge deep and enduring connections as a result.

 

  1. The Value Of Teamwork Is Highlighted

When your kids see you and your spouse working together to get the chores done, plan a vacation, move home, or overcome an obstacle, they learn about the value of teamwork. And if you involve them in projects so they can work alongside you, that’s even better.

 

Kids who learn how to share, compromise, and work together, are learning valuable skills that will benefit them not only in relationships, but in work, friendships, community activities and more.

 

  1. Space To Explore And Grow

Kids who feel secure also feel safe enough to explore who they are and their place in the world around them. They have the security they need to grow into themselves and explore what matters to them, what talents and gifts they have, and what makes them happy.

 

When you create a safe and secure marriage, you give your kids a beautiful environment in which they have the safety and support they need to develop into teenagers and then into adults with a sense of hope and fun.

 

A loving marriage is wonderful for you and your partner, and it gives your kids a safe, nurturing life at home.

 

Author Bio:- Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: father, fatherhood, guest post, marriage, relationship, relationships

Teaching Your Children How To Live a Healthy Life

April 25, 2017 by dadofdivas 2 Comments

Teaching Your Children How To Live a Healthier Life

As parents, we all understand the importance of teaching our daughters how to count to 100 and tie their shoes. Over the years, we have spent countless hours reading picture books with them and helping them develop proper social skills. While all of these concepts are vital to their well-being, in all the hubbub of getting our kids school ready or college bound, we might have overlooked teaching our kids simple ways to live a healthier life.

 

Papa Don’t Preach: 5 Ways to Encourage A Healthy Life  

 

Our kids need us to lead by example and embrace a healthy lifestyle right alongside them, because our actions speak louder than any of our words. Children and teens don’t want to listen to us lecture about eating our fruits and veggies or exercising daily. Afterall, they get those health basics in school. Healthy living today encompasses so much more than eating five servings of vegetables a day.

 

Thankfully, we can include the following suggestions to get our daughters learning about healthy relationships with food, boys, and electronics – leading to a healthy life overall:

 

Use your relationship with her and her mother to model appropriate relationships with men. Children need their fathers and how you perform this job will most likely determine a daughter’s self esteem, how she handles adversity, and how she will interact with future romantic partners. A dad’s role is crucial when it comes to setting a child up for a lifetime of healthy choices. Experts recommend using verbal encouragement, being consistently present, listening to her feelings, and taking time to show interest in her activities. This presence, while it seems pretty normal, can help build a young woman’s self-esteem which can protect her from depression, poor body image issues, self harming behaviors, substance abuse, and abusive relationships. That’s a lot of pressure, but it justifies taking time for a tea party or taking her out for a date night to the local ice cream parlor.

 

Teach her ways to relax. Stress is an unavoidable part of life and our children will experience it at some point. Chances are fairly high, that they have already encountered pressures on the playground, at school, or in the home. Stress can lead to a whole host of unhealthy conditions and wreak havoc on our bodies. That makes it essential that we teach our kids ways to cope with stress. We recommend talking to her about coping with stress, taking up a soothing hobby, or joining a Yoga group together. All of these suggestions will give her healthy options to use throughout all walks of her life.

 

Give their eyes a rest. It’s no secret that our children spend a massive amount of time looking at screens. Whether it is a Smartphone, computer, tablet, or television they are watching a screen of some type. Teach them that it is alright to take a break from their beloved electronics and screens. Besides the obvious lack of activity, our kids are placing a lot of extra strain on their eyes throughout the day. Help them care for their eyes by following the 20-20-20 rule. For every 20 minutes of screen time, take a 20 second break to look at objects 20 feet away.

 

Teaching Your Children How To Live a Healthier Life

Foster an appreciation for wholesome foods. Most kids love to eat, so we can use this love of food to foster healthy eating habits. Most kids understand the food groups, but putting this knowledge into practice is a whole other process. Tend a garden or visit the local farmer’s market for access to fresh foods. Learn new recipes and make it a new family tradition to cook together. Make it a point to limit take out, except for the occasional evening, and reacquaint everyone with home cooked family meals. This sounds simple, but breaking bread together will create countless opportunities to learn nutrition while bonding.

 

Enjoy green spaces together. Head outside for some family fun and to take in the world of Mother Nature. Being in the great outdoors has been documented to reduce stress, combat depression, develop spacial awareness, recharge the mind, and more. Plus, fresh air is good for young children and getting out of the house can encourage physical activities like hiking, running, and biking. Thankfully, you can uncover these benefits in your backyard at the local park.

 

Looking Ahead

Instilling the foundation for a healthy life doesn’t require a lot of special tools or a lot of money. It comes down to parents who take the time to listen, communicate, and interact with their children and the world around them. What tips do you have for teaching your kids to embrace a healthy life for themselves?

Filed Under: dads with daughters, fatherhood Tagged With: daughters, food, health, healthy, healthy life, life, living, relationships

How to Be a Better Husband

October 22, 2015 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

2 people holding hands - how to be a better husband - http://www.dadofdivas.com

How to Be a Better Husband

Marriage can be hard, but it can also be one of the most rewarding things you’ll do in your life. If you’re looking to take on the challenge of becoming a better husband and the man your wife deserves, get started today with these easy steps.

 

Unplug Together

It’s easy to get sucked into the world of technology, and your wife is probably guilty of ignoring you for her phone as well. However, it’s worth it for both of you to make the effort to unplug. You’ve probably got technology use rules set in place for your kids, so set yourself to the same standard. Set aside at least an hour each night devoid of any sort of screen time, and yes that means phones, computers, iPads, and televisions. Tell your wife about your plan—she’ll be pleased that you’re taking the initiative to get more quality time with her and likely follow your lead. This will allow you to reconnect in ways you may have lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

 

Appearance Matters

You got the girl already, obviously, and it’s more than normal to let your appearance fall a little by the wayside. This is an easy fix though, fellas. If you want to impress your wife, start making more of an effort to look suave on the daily, not only on special occasions. Get up 10 minutes earlier to look good before going to work, get a close shave, do your hair a little differently, and at least try on some things she’s suggested. You may find you like the way you look and feel better about yourself while impressing her at the same time.

How to be a better husband - http://www.dadofdivas.com

Fight the Bad Day Blues

If she’s having a bad day, do what you can to make it better in any way possible. A surprise delivery of chocolate covered berries to her office may be the thing to make her smile, and what woman ever turned down chocolate? She’ll be pleasantly embarrassed to receive your delivery in front of all of her coworkers, and you’ll be the king of romance for the day—strike that, the whole week!

 

Do Chores—Without Being Asked

We’re all guilty of avoiding chores, but it will make you a better husband if you take the initiative and do the things required of you without her asking—she is your wife, not your mom, after all. Whether it’s washing the car, cleaning up the kitchen, throwing in a load of laundry, or making the kids’ lunches for the next day at school, complete it before she can even think to ask. I guarantee you she’ll be impressed.

 

Hand over the Remote

If you’re notorious for hogging the television, it’s time to be a little more generous with the remote control. Ask her if she has a specific show she’d love to watch, and record yours to watch later. Start a new show that the two of you can enjoy together from start to finish on Netflix, let the kids watch some of their favorite programs, and show her you can share the TV screen every once in a while.

Holding Hands- how to be a better husband - http://www.dadofdivas.com

Take the Kids

Give your wife a break every once in a while and take the kids and the responsibility off her shoulders for a day. Move around your schedule to get them to school if that’s normally her duty, pick them up afterwards and get them to any extracurricular activities, and handle dinner on your own. For some extra debonair charm, give her a gift certificate to a masseuse and tell her the evening is your treat. She’ll love getting to relax and you’ll get in some quality time with your kids—everybody wins!

 

Reinstate Date Night

When you first started dating, it was probably all flowers and dinners and fun activities. With marriage, kids, and jobs, the pressures of life can get in the way of carving out time for special activities. Change that by making date night a priority again. Arrange for a babysitter on a particular night each week and dedicate the evening to each other. It needn’t be expensive; mini golf, a movie, even a bowling date could be the thing to inject some more fun into your relationship.

If you have the desire to become a better husband, today’s your day to start. Think about how much your wife deserves your extra effort, and funnel your energy into being the man she married all those years ago—just with some new improvements.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: husband, marriage, relationships

Romantic Marriage or Losing Your Mojo? #dadchat

May 29, 2013 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

J-Mom and Dad of DivasAre You In A Romantic Marriage or Have You Lost Your Romantic Mojo?

This year my wife and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. Anyone who is married knows, any marriage takes hard work and commitment throughout entirety of the marriage itself and maintaining romantic marriages can take even more effort as the years go on.

With our anniversary coming up I wanted to reflect back myself on some of the romantic gestures that I have done for my wife over the years. I know that prior to being married I was much more of a romantic that I am after 15 years of marriage. This is not to say that I love my wife in less than I did when I was dating and engaged to her, however I think that over the years I have simply lost my romantic mojo, and now it is time for me to get it back.

Romantic Marriages

So how does this happen? I think for many husbands do we get complacent and we start taking advantage and taking for granted the things that are wives do for us on a daily basis. I think this is especially true once you have kids and your wives start taking on the responsibility of working with the children. Also, if your wife stays at home or does not work outside of the home, we become even more complacent as she takes up more of the things that have to occur on a daily and weekly basis.

This by no way justifies this behavior, but I think it does help individuals in understanding why this phenomenon occurs. I know that I definitely do not want to take advantage of my wife or what she does, but sometimes I forget to acknowledge this.  So my question for all of you is: How do each of you deal with this issue and have a romantic marriage in your own life?

As I move forward in my marriage I know that I have to be more inventive with my romantic gestures and not be as complacent in these and the roles that I take on in the home so that I too can say that I am in a romantic marriage for most of the time. I definitely have some ideas for how this can happen for us and luckily I still have some time to work on some plans for my anniversary as well!

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Filed Under: parenting Tagged With: Ideas and Tips, marriage, relationships, Romance

Getting Away To A Great City and Hotel Helps Parents Reconnect ( @hotel71chicago ) #Dadchat

July 4, 2012 by dadofdivas 24 Comments

This past weekend, I was lucky enough to be able to get away with my lovely bride of 14 years to escape the chains of reality and instead to simply let go and have fun without the kids! I have to be honest and say that we have not been the best examples of balance when it comes to finding our own time as parents, so this was a lucky treat and after spending the time with her I have to say that it was something that we should have done a long time ago! We decided to spend our 14th anniversary in the town where we had our first trip as a couple some 16 years ago, the windy city, Chicago. I had had some CityPASS tickets that were provided to me in the past so we were planning to try and use some of them so that we could go and see some of the local museums as well as take in the sights, sounds and tastes of Chicago.

We decided to take the South Shore Line  of the Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District into the town as we had found out that it would cost us about $49/night to park the car in town, so we wanted to save a bit of money. For both of us it cost about $30 roundtrip from Chesterton, Indiana and the parking was secure and the ride was pleasant and comfortable without any noticeable delays or issues. The train brought us to Millenium Station and from there is was only about a 3 block walk to where we were staying.

I was so excited to try out Hotel 71 as I had heard some amazing things about it, as well as seeing it in movies like “The Dark Knight” and “Transformers” Located directly in the heart of Chicago, it is so well situated between the Magnificent Mile and things like Grant Park and Navy Pier that you cannot go wrong. The other great thing was that it was located right on the Chicago River (or at least right across the street) and with views of this as well as the Trump Tower, Wrigley and Tribune buildings, you cannot get much better!

In walking into the building you are introduced to a modern looking hotel with a pleasant feel. The first thing that I noticed was the smiles on the faces of the front desk staff. I was immediately welcomed by Jessica, an employee who had recently graduated from College and was a transplant from Michigan. Jessica was easy to talk to and made me feel like I was the only customer that she had to work with all day (talk about feeling welcomed). What particularly was nice was the fact that every time that I saw her she remembered who I was and used my name to greet me and to ask how she could continue being of service which was amazing.

The check-in process was simple and we even could check into our room early (which was a pleasant surprise).

When we got to the room and opened the door we were very pleased at what we encountered. The room was very like luxurious, with a king sized bed desk and then tables as well as a minibar, microwave and safe. The bathroom provided his and her sinks as well as a separate restroom with soaking tub and disconnected shower. Inside the restroom was an additional television for you to be able to watch something on television while soaking in the tub. The linens on the bed were of high quality and the pillows were such that you simply sank into them and did not want to get up (or at least I didn’t). Everything in the room was pristine and the housing staff did a wonderful job at keeping the room looking the way that the hotel wished it to be. The view from the room was wonderful and spotlighted the Chicago River,TrumpTower, Wrigley and Tribune buildings. As a photographer I love to be able to take pictures of the river and the individual bridges that you typically do not get to view from the angle of a hotel room.

 

I explored the hotel and decided to work out and was pleased to find a fully stocked workout room with three rooms filled with equipment ranging from cardio too weights, there was a little bit of everything for everyone.

My wife and I decided to explore the city a little bit on the first day and went to the Shedd Aquarium in 14 years. Thanks to CityPass we bypassed a long line and found that the pass itself that we had provided us with complete access to all of the aquarium, and instead of having to pay for extra exhibits and shows we were provided full access without additional charge. The aquarium was amazing and offers so many varieties of aquatic life. The shows and additional exhibits are worth the extra money as the staff of the aquarium have done a remarkable job of working with the animals and the habitats of the animals to make your experience as real as can be without being in the water yourself.

The only downside to the day was public transportation, as we had purchased one day passes to save some money in regards to transporting ourselves to and from our hotel. While the transportation was less expensive it didn’t take but a bit longer and we found that by staying until after the aquarium had closed, it was also a bit unreliable. We ended up walking back to the hotel from the aquarium which was about a 25 to 30 minute walk on a warm day.

 

By the time that we returned to our hotel we were pleased to find that the staff had provided us with bottled water and fruit to accompany our stay (I am guessing this may have something to do with my review of the hotel, but it was a very nice gesture nonetheless).

Our stay at Hotel 71 continued to be a great one over the two full days and two nights that we were guests. On the second night of our stay we also ate at the restaurant which is a part of the hotel called Hoyt’s Chicago. The restaurant was elegant and provided an urban feel to one’s dining experience. For both my wife and I loved about the restaurant at first was the laid-back dining atmosphere that was provided to us. We had the opportunity to sit and eat outside (though it was too warm for us) or inside.

We actually had a table sitting overlooking theChicago River (which we both loved). Our server was friendly and talkative (not overly so) and was ever-eager to assist and please. My wife and I got to know him a little bit better in about what brought him to the city, and he was comfortable in sharing his life with us which is something we always enjoy.

 

The restaurant knew that it was our anniversary, so they surprised us with a bottle of sparkling wine which was a nice surprise! We ended up deciding to try out the homemade pretzel appetizer first. When this came out, it came with both a chorizo cheese sauce as well as a stone ground Dijon mustard, both of which were very good. I even tried mixing the two and found that they went well together.  After this my wife ordered the hanger steak and I the skirt steak.

When the meals arrived I have to say that the kitchen had done a fine job at displaying the meal. We each tried each other and I have to say that though both were mouth watering, we both preferred the hanger steak as it had more flavor overall and the mix of caramelized onions brought forth an addition complex component of flavors which the skirt steak was lacking.

This is not to say that the skirt steak was bad, far from it, but it was simply lacking a bit of flavor that a sauce would have helped (as the horseradish cream was a bit mild for my taste.

After our main course we ordered the Oatmeal and Nuts Apple Crumble and it was definitely worth it. Talk about a delicious way to end our meal.

All-in-all the meal at Hoyt’s Chicago was a very pleasant one and I would say that if you are looking for fine dining in a urban feeling, semi-casual atmosphere, you too should go and try the wonderful food and service that they provide.

Everyone that we met at Hotel 71 made the experience both special and memorable and from what I could see, they treated every one of their guests with the same respect and professionalism. I would definitely satay at this hotel again if given the chance and I would highly recommend that you too consider the same if you are looking for a fun way to reconnect with a loved one, or if you are simply trying to get away for a weekend!

 

 

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site’s Disclaimer  for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.

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Filed Under: parenting, travel Tagged With: Anniversary, connection, marriage, parenting, relationship, relationships

Middle School Matters: Start Talking to your pre-teens about Dating and Healthy Relationships

March 29, 2012 by dadofdivas 39 Comments

How young is too young to start talking to my child about dating?

A new study conducted with more 1,400 7th-graders showed that, in this robust sample, an alarmingly high number of pre-teens are not only dating, but experiencing abusive relationships and sexual harassment.

 

More than 75 percent reported they had been in dating relationships. Nearly one in six had experienced physical dating violence and more than half had experienced sexual harassment.

 

Until now, there has been very little research on this age group and, though not nationally representative, this study is one of the few and largest in-depth studies conducted on this topic to date. The implications of these findings for parents are serious and reinforce that waiting until high school to talk about dating is too late. Middle school provides a critical window of opportunity to teach children about healthy relationships and prevent dating violence before it starts.

 

What can parents do? Take advantage of this window of time. Educate yourself on the warning signs of teen dating abuse and learn how to start conversations with pre-teens about what behaviors should never be tolerated in a dating relationship.

 

Be on the watch for the subtle signs of an abusive relationship, and notice if your pre-teen:

  • Receives excessive text messaging, phone calling, emailing or visiting with boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Stops hanging out with friends or participating in family activities.
  • Starts having declining grades or missing school.
  • Seems afraid to disagree with his or her boyfriend or girlfriend; always does what partner wants
  • ·         Has injuries he/she tries to cover up or can’t explain

 

If any of the above are correct, your child may be in an unhealthy relationship.

There was good news from the study as well. Nearly three-quarters of the students in the sample said they sometimes or often talk to their parents about dating and relationships. Keeping this communication open and active is key to ensuring your pre-teen or teen sets healthy boundaries in relationships.

 

Here are some tips:

  • Talk to your children about peer pressure both online and off, before they are even in a relationship.
  • Discuss what it means to be a good friend, laying a foundation for healthy romantic relationships later in life.
  • Encourage and model healthy and safe relationships.
  • Use popular culture and current events to make teachable moments with your children. Ask them what they think about relationship behaviors that they see, and dialogue about what’s appropriate and what’s not.
  • ·         Discuss what a healthy relationship looks like, feels like, and sounds like.

 

These findings come from an evaluation of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s national program, Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships, the largest initiative ever funded to prevent dating abuse among 11-14 year olds in 11 different communities across the U.S. To learn more about how to start conversations with your child, and increase your knowledge about teen dating abuse visit www.startstrongparents.org, for free parent resources available in English and Spanish.

Filed Under: Guest Post Tagged With: dating, girls, relationships

Book Review – Things My Daughters Need to Know

June 2, 2011 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

About the Book
If you’ve ever been cheated on, wondered why the guy never calls when he said he would, or can’t seem to get past the bedroom when you start dating a guy, Rodney L. Demery’s candid book,  

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(The Demery Group Publishing) will help get you answers to these relationship dilemmas by examining the dating habits of this self-proclaimed serial dater.

After working for over two decades on homicide, sex crimes, narcotics and armed robbery investigations, there is little that could shock or surprise Detective Rodney Demery, and he shares both his professional and personal life experiences as an investigator and a dater as a way of helping women see their lives and loves in a different way so they can learn to read their own dating situations better and hopefully change the outcome.

Rodney Demery’s own life was shaped by murder when his mother was shot in the back nine times by her husband, and having his life framed by infidelity may be part of the reason he could not settle down. He admits he earned the title in the past of ‘bad boy’ where women were concerned, but is quick to express that he’s learned to be better and, as a result, his life is filled with hope as he looks for lasting love. Gritty and raw at times, his book is an honest portrayal of one man’s sexual escapades, troubled relationships, and journey to maturity.

In

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‹ ›
, women will get honesty and a straightforward approach to relationships from a cop/father’s point of view, and learn valuable information such as why abstinence helps get you the man, why career women end up single, what men really think when you show up in a skimpy outfit, how technology is helping men juggle women, and whether a cheater will really leave his wife for you!

This virtual guide to understanding men is the perfect legacy for Demery to leave his daughters – one they can put to good use and better prepare them in their choice of men and relationships. For more information on Rodney Demery and his fascinating memoir, please visit his website at: www.rldemery.com.

[amazon_enhanced asin=”0615486320″ /]

My Take on the Book

A lifetime of dating and a career full of police investigations combine to produce relationship lessons, suggestions, and advice for women.
Women tired of guessing what men think can get a frank, first-hand look at relationships from a man’s point-of-view in Things My Daughters Need to Know. Author Rodney L. Demery’s powerful memoir will help women see their relationships from a different perspective. He knows the lies men tell and the tricks they try. He shares this information and offers insight to help women learn how to get clues to guys’ behavior so they can choose their men wisely.
In this book, learn:
1. Why abstinence is attractive to a man
2. Why career women end up single
3. How technology helps men juggle women
4. What men really think when you show up in a skimpy outfit
5. Whether a cheater will leave his wife for you
More Demery’s life was shaped by murder when his mother’s husband shot her in the back nine times. It was framed by infidelity as he never could settle down. Now it’s filled with hope as he looks for love. In Things My Daughters Need to Know, Demery shares his experiences in an effort to help others see their lives — and loves — a bit differently.

Filed Under: book review Tagged With: book re, books, dads, daughters, father, fathers, relationships

Love’s Compass – A Book That Will Redefine Your Relationships

September 23, 2010 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

About the Book

Trying to find one’s true love is never an easy task. Along the way, there are often heartbreaks and turmoils that we wish we could forget. Wrong people. Bad decisions. How’d I end up here again? Not a typical, sterile self help book, this story grips your heart from chapter one and never lets go. Experience life through the eyes of a man who set out on a noble journey of finding his love, and ended up horribly losing his way. The revelations he made in the aftermath of torrid love affairs and battles with addiction are sure to help anyone who has experienced the craziness of love gone wrong in search of a life mate. Somewhere along the way readers will lose themselves in the struggles of this man, and cheer him on as he strives to find his way out the other side, all the while learning principles of love that are sure to change their own lives.
  • Important things to consider before dating anyone
  • The most common mistakes people make to sabotage relationships
  • 7 keys to consider before marriage

This book is a must read for any skeptic of love.  Creatively written to help one gain insight into their own relational issues and with an ending that is sure to challenge your
perspective

About the Author
Harnessing his training and personal experiences, Angus communicates a grace-filled message of hope and restoration to men across the country. His delivery is as honest, vulnerable and transparent as you’ll ever experience. this refreshing candidness is an intentional approach, his philosophy being: “when you show yourself vulnerable, you give others permission to do the same”. His energetic passion, contagious joy, and straight-forwardness leaves every group he speaks to inspired and changed.

Angus Nelson, speaker and writer, is an authority on the emotional and relational needs of men with almost 20 years of experience in ministry and counseling. He’s been awarded Volunteer Citizen of the Year 2002 in Wausau, WI, and “Most Promising New Writer 2010” by the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. As a professional speaker, Monster.com’s “Make It Count” high school program ranked him in their top 5% of speakers and he’s currently speaking for college, corporate, and conference events. In 2009, he graduated from Leadership Huntsville, a city-wide leadership program he was nominated for in Huntsville, Alabama.

This year, he self-published his first book, Love’s Compass: When We’ve Lost Our Way, a vulnerable and gritty account of the destruction of his first marriage. He wrote this book for men who have struggled with relational and emotional issues in the arena of relationships. This is the book that awarded him the “Most Promising New Writer” award. It’s currently being reviewed for distribution with a national publisher.
A graduate of Rhema Bible Training Center in Youth Ministry; graduate of the Honor Academy with Teen Mania Ministries & Ron Luce; and a Minister of Theology and Counseling degree from Impact International, he’s served as a Youth Pastor, Associate Pastor, Worship Leader and Missionary having traveled to 12 countries on Five different continents.

Nelson is the founder and former Executive Director of a non-pro!t arts driven young adult center in Wausau, Wisconsin, called Rockwater. In addition, he has also served as the Executive Director for a faith-based leadership development organization for young adults, Renown of Huntsville, Alabama.

His life’s been anything but boring, having hosed chili vats, stuffed wood chips in bags, sold health club memberships, told off Jean-Claude Van Damme, modeled for a JCrew Christmas catalog, and even helped Bruce Willis call his bookie once. Throughout all of this, he’s waited tables, been a ski resort ticket checker, carpenter, telemarketer, and landscaper. With the background in theology, he’s served as youth leader, worship leader, counselor, speaker, and now, writer.

Angus and his wife, Samantha, Nelson make their home in Huntsville, Alabama. they have three children.

My Take on the Book
I had the distinct pleasure to meet Angus and his wife Samantha (as well as the kids) at the M3 Summit that I attended in Atlanta, earlier this month. In sitting down with him he started to talk a bit about his book and I was intrigued. I was very happy when he offered me a copy and I was able to sit down with it. Once I started the book I did not want to stop. I read most of the book in the 2 hour flight home from Atlanta so as you can guess, it was a page turner and it drew me in.

The book itself hit me right smack dab in the heart. It is powerful and makes you think about your own relationships and where you are in relationships to them. It makes you ask so many questions about yourself as well as about the actions that you are or have taken in the past to hinder your ability to love others.

The book is so personal and insightful. It allows you to see that it is ok to lose your way. That it is ok to lose your way, as long as you do what you must to be able to find your way back. The book provides the reader the chance to go along for the ride on the personal and spiritual journey that he goes on to eventually find the happiness and love that he was always looking for.

The books helps people from all walks of life relate to the fact that people are trapped in ruts, sexual addictions, low self-esteem and dealing with other such issues. Though it does this, it allows the reader to make their own judgments about themselves about what they need to do to be able to make a difference in their own life so that they can develop and solidify a meaningful healthy love relationship.

I would truly recommend this book to anyone that has ever questioned what their life means, or what it has in store for them. You will be both amazed, inspired and motivated to make a change for the better in your own life.

His writing reminds me of another author, Donald Miller. In the books of his that I have read, he also writes in such a way that he draws in the reader and allows them to also live the story that he is sharing, very much like Angus does in Love’s Compass.

If you want to make a change in your life, you need to read this book! Below I have included the presentation that Angus gave at the M3 Conference. If you have the time, it is definitely worth it to watch!

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site’s Terms of Use  for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.

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Filed Under: book review Tagged With: books, love, relationships, self esteem

Book Review – The College Roommate from Hell — Skills and Strategies for Surviving With a Problem Roommate

July 26, 2010 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

About the BookAll across the country, incoming college freshman are getting ready to move away from home for the first time. For many of these new college students, moving away from home means living with a roommate for the first time as well. Some students choose to live on-campus, while others choose off-campus housing. With either scenario, living with a roommate is a big adjustment.

Of course, every incoming freshman hopes to find a friend as his or her roommate, but not every situation will be ideal. A lot of problems may occur because both roommates simply need to take the time to understand one another. Moving away from home for the first time is exciting but is also a big change. Taking the time to resolves issues between you and your roommate can positively affect your transition to college.

If you find yourself not getting along with a roommate or you want to learn more about coping with a roommate before moving away, at Atlantic Publishing Company, we have a book for that.

The College Roommate From Hell — Skills and Strategies for Surviving With a Problem Roommate covers everything you need to know about how to understand and fix any problems with a troublesome roommate. This comprehensive guide will teach you what to expect before moving, how to approach your roommate once you move in, roommate survival skills, cultural and social differences, how to deal with a serious problem, and how to understand a spectrum of personalities.

This book includes interviews with students that had roommate problems and discusses how they were solved. Before giving up on your roommate and spending a semester or more in an undesirable situation, read The College Roommate From Hell. After doing so, you will know you are not alone, have viable strategies for dealing with problems, and feel more comfortable approaching any issue you may have with a roommate.

My Take on the Book
As a person who has worked in residence life on a college campus this book covers many of the common problems that students who have roommates face while in college and beyond. What was nice about the book though was that it provided the reader with practical tips to work on turning around roommate relationships toward positive outcomes. The reason I like this is that every housing staff member is taught to help roommates to work through their conflicts and not to just move roommate assignments, so it is to the benefit of all who are going to be having a roommate to read this and learn some of the things that might drive you nuts and how to deal with them.
I could tell by reading through this book that it would have helped many past college students that had to deal with challenging roommate situations. Full of great resources and appendices, the book was an easy, instructional read that would be a great gift for the new college student (but they need to read it!).
If this book sounds like something you would like on your own bookshelf, you can find it on Amazon!
 
All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site’s Terms of Use  for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.
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Filed Under: book review Tagged With: books, college, conflict, relationships

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