podcasting Archives - Dad of Divas

Embracing Change: Strengthening the Father-Daughter Bond as She Grows

July 13, 2026 by dadofdivas

In the most recent episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast, host Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomes special guest Colin Gray—podcaster, international speaker, founder of The Podcast Host, and a proud father—to discuss the evolving journey of fatherhood and the unique relationship fathers share with their daughters.

This insightful conversation revolves around the central theme of connection: what it truly means to connect with your daughter as she grows, how that connection changes, and the intentional steps dads can take to foster it. Colin Gray reflects on his experience raising his now eleven-year-old daughter, candidly sharing that as children mature, simple activities like park visits or ice cream trips no longer hold the same power to bond as they once did. Instead, it’s the “little weird normal moments”—joining in on a silly dance or matching her energy in the kitchen—that create genuine connections. He urges dads to let go of preconceived expectations and instead meet their daughters where they are, embracing who they’re becoming.

Another major theme is the balance between guiding and granting independence. Colin Gray shares that encouraging his children to try things for themselves, even if it means letting them fail, has been key to building their confidence and autonomy. It’s about being there with support and constructive feedback, but resisting the urge to always be in control or solve every problem.

Intentionality shines through as a guiding principle: intentionally seeking out your daughter’s interests—even if they’re outside your comfort zone—fosters meaningful conversations and establishes trust. Whether it’s learning about makeup and hair to connect with his daughter, or simply being curious about her favorite YouTube trends, Colin Gray models engagement and the willingness to step into her world.

The conversation is honest about parental imperfection—both Dr. Christopher Lewis and Colin Gray admit to making mistakes, but emphasize the importance of being open to feedback from their kids and growing together. They highlight the value of mutual respect, adaptability, and leading by example.

This episode serves as a warm reminder that strong relationships aren’t built on grand gestures, but on consistent presence, adaptability, and listening. If you’re a dad looking for real advice, encouragement, and stories from the trenches of parenthood, don’t miss this episode. Tune in to the Dad and Daughter Connection and keep building the bond your daughter needs—one moment at a time.

Listen now and join the journey!

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to learn, to grow, to reach, work together on those relationships that we want to have with our daughters. And I say that it’s learning and growing because every day we have to learn and grow.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:06]:
We have to be willing to put ourselves out there. We have to be willing to set aside things that we think we know and go with the flow a lot of times with our daughters. And it’s important to be able to talk to other fathers, learn from other fathers, hear what they’re doing, and to gain some perspective, because we don’t have all the answers. Let’s be honest. None of us are infallible. There’s going to be times where we make mistakes, and many of us may not have a lot of examples of what fatherhood is before we become fathers. So that’s why every week, I love being able to have different people with different experiences that can offer you some different perspectives to help you in your own fatherhood journey. And today we got another great guest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:51]:
Colin Gray is with us, and Colin is known as the podcast host. Colin and I have known each other for a while, and I’ve loved listening to him and what he’s been doing, but he’s a podcaster, he’s an international speaker, a he’s founder of the podcast host and Alitu the podcast maker. But he started out in astrophysics before realizing how much math you had to do. So that being said, he turned to podcasting, and he has made a amazing, amazing life for himself and his family. And we’ll talk a little bit about the journey that he’s gone on, but also we’re going to be talking about his own journey in his journey as a father to two kids and especially his oldest, his daughter. And I’m really excited to have him Here. Colin, thanks so much for being here today.

Colin Gray [00:02:43]:
No worries. Thanks for having me on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:45]:
It is my pleasure. I really appreciate you joining me. I know it’s the evening for you, the morning for me, and but I appreciate you taking some time to chat about this relationship with your daughter. And I love being able to start by really thinking about this journey that you’ve been on because every one of us as fathers wants to have those moments, those moments that we connect and we work hard to try to create those moments with our daughters. What would you say is one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with your daughter and what made it so special?

Colin Gray [00:03:16]:
I’ll maybe avoid the question slightly, but give you a different type of answer perhaps in that. One of the things that I’ve found or I’ve learned, I suppose, over the last five years as my daughter’s become much more grown up. She’s 11 now and it used to be quite easy to make a connection with her when she was like three, four or five. You just go and you do kind of anything and they just become absorbed in what you want to do with them and just love spending the time with you and you know, they’ll often just do whatever you kind of lead them into playing, you know, a game or Lego or go outdoors to the park, whatever that might be. As my daughter’s got older, I found those things harder because obviously she has much more of her own mind, her own preferences, her own things, things that she wants to do. And I found myself even a couple of years ago when she wasn’t getting into 9 or 10, as she was getting much more of those preferences, I would choose to say, let’s go for a wee walk into town, we’ll go and have a wee walk around, we’ll grab like a nice cake or something in the shop and then we’ll walk home again. And because she’s much more her set, her own person now, she’d have preferences and maybe be a bit grumpy or, you know, it wouldn’t be perfect and I would end up getting grumpy because it wasn’t as perfect as I, you know, wanted this kind of connection to be. And I would kind of sabotage it for myself.

Colin Gray [00:04:30]:
These days I’m much more accepting of the fact that actually those connections just come in those little weird normal moments actually and it’s less about planning, like to go in for a three hour walk with her into town and a cake or an ice cream or whatever and it’s more just Actually, I walk into the kitchen and she’s sitting there, whether it’s reading a book or doing a dance or whatever it is she’s doing. And I’ll just walk up behind her and do the same thing. It’s like something about matching her energy much more. And because she’s kind of just learning who she is, I guess as a developing human, I find that’s what actually creates the connection these days. It’s actually just those little silly, messing around things where she’s doing a dance and I just walk in and join in in a super stupid, silly way, and that’s it. And it’s those little bits and it just takes like 30 seconds. But actually, those are the times when we just laugh and smile at each other much more. And there’s much less chance that the kind of budding teenager in her creates some kind of friction that ends up with both of us being angry at each other.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:31]:
One of the things that I guess that I would ask in response to that is you said that there was a little bit of a journey for yourself in the sense of, you know, getting from where you were to where you are today. What were some intentional steps that you had to take to be able to, I guess, in some sense, let go and just be present and be a part of the energy that she’s giving versus having those. Those, I’m going to say, preconceived feelings of what you wanted to happen and then being let down because you have to be able to grow from where that was to where you are today.

Colin Gray [00:06:04]:
I mean, you know what it’s like when they’re small. You are like the definitive boss, aren’t you? Because they’re liable to do something that could hurt themselves. Or you need to teach them how to be humans, you know, how to be. How to be decent and nice and kind and share and all that kind of stuff. But there’s a point they get where they’re. Suddenly they know those things. If you’ve done your job well enough, then they mostly know those things. And you can kind of let go of that a little bit.

Colin Gray [00:06:29]:
And then actually it comes to the point where you’re trying to do nice things with them and make those connections that you’re talking about. But you can’t be the definitive boss in those. You can’t decide what their fun is. You can’t decide what their preferences are. You can’t say, oh, well, I like, I used to love going for an ice cream with you, and you used to love it as well. So now, because you say you don’t want to do that anymore, I’m going to get annoyed and grumpy. And I went through a point of that. So, yeah, you said the words there, letting go.

Colin Gray [00:06:55]:
And it was definitely a letting go of that. Partly you’re the one that’s always in charge and making the decisions, and there’s still a bit of that, you know, as a parent, no matter what age they are, of course. But you have to let go of a lot of that, I think. And let go as well of the fact that you feel like you know what they enjoy. Because I don’t know what they enjoy these days. Like, both of my kids, especially my daughter, she’ll teach her mind every other week, and that’s fine. She’s just figuring stuff out. But I can be surprised one day when I go and ask her to do something and she’s like, no, don’t like that anymore.

Colin Gray [00:07:27]:
And she doesn’t say it like that, of course, but something’s changed. So there’s something around letting go of predictability as well and kind of thinking that, you know, what will make that connection or please her.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:38]:
A lot of the things that you’re talking about really talks to the fact that our kids, as they’re getting into the age that your daughter’s in, is really pushing and stretching that rubber band of independence. We’ll say they want more independence than they’ve had in the past. How, as a father, have you been able to balance guiding your daughter while also giving her the independence that she needs to be able to become the person that she’s becoming?

Colin Gray [00:08:06]:
I think if there’s many things I’ve got wrong as a dad over the years, one of the things I think I have done reasonably well is the independence side of things. And I think I was. Myself and my brother were really independent kids when we were younger. My mom and dad worked. Both of them, they had to work. And also they were just quite independent themselves. They were both like farm kids, so they grew up on farms, and therefore they were given a lot of responsibility when they were kids as well. And that passed on to us.

Colin Gray [00:08:31]:
And so I come from a family that is kind of from that point of view, from an early age, you get on and you just kind of look after yourself. And I’ve always encouraged my kids reasonably gently, but sometimes forcefully, to do things for themselves. You know, they ask for little simple things done for them, and I’m like, no, you know how to do that. I’ll show you how. I’ll help you do it, but you’ll do it. And so I’ve often done that all the way through. And it’s one of the things where my wife and I differ a fair bit. But she enjoys doing things.

Colin Gray [00:09:00]:
Like she really enjoys looking after the kids and like making sandwiches for them and stuff like that. But then when she’s away for the week, the kids make their own sandwiches for their lunch. And I don’t think it’s. It’s not only because I’m lazy, it’s partly because I want them to know how to do that as well. So I’ve definitely encouraged that from the very start. Like they need to know how to do things and I’ll leave them to do those things and fail at them as well. My daughter was cleaning the car the other day and she volunteered to do the inside and I offered to pay her a bit more for the inside. And I was like, I could go out and I showed her a few things, but I just left her to it for a few hours and she came back and I went back and I told her, oh, no, that’s not right, that’s not right.

Colin Gray [00:09:37]:
And it was just. I think it’s that kind of constructive feedback is something that I do. I tend to treat them a lot more like grownups right from the start and. But then, yeah, alongside that, just play silly games as well. So there’s a bit of a balance there, isn’t there?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:51]:
There definitely is a balance there. And it sounds like there’s some intentional things that you’re trying to do to be able to build that bond, those connections that we have with our daughters, you talked about when she was younger and the things that you like to do and some of the things that you’re doing now, as you think about intention in intentional ways in which you’re trying to build that bond, what are some of the things that you’re doing today that you try to be intentional about as you’re building relationship and building that bond?

Colin Gray [00:10:18]:
I’m constantly trying to find the things that she likes that I can talk to her about. There’s a period she’s going through right now where she’s definitely connecting a lot with her mum because she’s getting into quite girly things like makeup and hair and things like that. And that’s cool, that’s wonderful to see them doing that. And they kind of. They go for little shopping trips in and buy like a little, you know, two pound lip balm that she gets really excited about and all these kind of things and it’s, it’s lovely to see. I can try. I can kind of like learn a bit, a bit about these things, but I’m just like, I’m a guy with no hair, so I can’t get into the hair stuff. I’m a 40 year old man, so I can’t quite get into the makeup stuff.

Colin Gray [00:10:52]:
I’ll try on the lip balm for sure, but can’t get too excited about an extra good lip balm. So I think I’m just constantly trying to ask her things like what she’s into. I think, you know, it might be the same with yourself, Chris, like around the kind of being in this world of podcasting and media and YouTube and all that kind of stuff. That’s one thing that I do find I can connect with her quite well with actually, because I’m really interested in like, you know, trends on YouTube trends and podcasting, trends in media in general. So talking to them about who they’re following and who they like and who they’re becoming fans of and even in music as well, but more so the visual media side of things, I find that a really good conversation. That’s something that I bring up often, actually, because I find that that’s a good way to connect because I probably know more about that stuff than your average mid-40s dad, just through the jobs that we do. So that’s one thing that I do a lot is try and have those conversations. So, yeah, I don’t know.

Colin Gray [00:11:40]:
Do you find that with your set, with your own daughters, you know, a little bit.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:43]:
I find I still don’t completely understand TikTok. I still don’t understand it, but. But my youngest loves showing me tiktoks. And I’ll watch them and I’ll be in my mind saying, I don’t get this, but I’ll be here and I’ll be present and I try to figure out what the intrigue is. So. And I think that as podcasters and someone. For me, it’s all about storytelling, right? And it’s about how do we tell these stories or allow other people to tell their stories. And I think you do that as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:18]:
And I’ve tried to impart that on my own daughters to try to explain to them the power of story and the power of allowing them to not only tell their story, but allowing for others to tell their story. And I’ve tried to show them that as well. And I’m sure you have too, right?

Colin Gray [00:12:35]:
Yeah, definitely. And you know, it’s interesting, you bring that up because it’s not something that I’d put a label on before, but something that my daughter and I particularly connect around a lot is stories around characters in our house. So something we’ve always played around with, even when she was really small. But it’s grown into. I kind of thought this would fall away, but it hasn’t. Is around, like, soft toys and dolls and that kind of stuff. And she’s not into playing with, you know, dolls and teddies and stuff like that anymore. But we have these stories around them that ends up the two of us play around with them together.

Colin Gray [00:13:07]:
So when I go in to say night to my daughter at night, she’s got a few different soft toys lying around in her bed. And they all have their names, but they also. Big backstories that we’ve made over the last, like, five years. There’s a great one, this big, massive yellow teddy that we have, which we acquired in Japan, actually, when we’re on a holiday there. And there’s a whole backstory around how we acquired it, but equally, it went for the trip around with us, and me and her were just sitting around, like, making this teddy do things all the way around this trip. And ever since then, as well, it’s had that story where it’s from Japan, and it’s. We do things around the house, and it’s got a personality. And I think.

Colin Gray [00:13:40]:
I’m not sure maybe everyone does this, to be fair, but I feel like we go a little overboard in giving all these toys personalities and backstory and making them do things over the years. And that’s definitely something that we connect around a lot. But you’re right, it’s. As you said there. It’s the story. It’s all around the backstory. It’s all around the plot, what their likes and their dislikes are and all those things. Is that kind of like.

Colin Gray [00:14:02]:
Does that make sense?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:03]:
It does. My daughters are at an age that we don’t really have those kind of stories anymore, but I do try to get them involved in what I’m doing. They’re not always interested in it, but I try to show them, explain them. I actually. I just was talking to my oldest the other day about. I said. I said, you’re a storyteller. You like to talk to people you like.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:23]:
I said, you should have a podcast. And she’s, oh, yeah, yeah, whatever, dad. And. But you never know. I mean, they watch, they. They learn, and you never know, they might decide to pick something up along the way.

Colin Gray [00:14:36]:
That’s it isn’t it. It’s all example. I think there’s so much. I fall into this trap as much as anyone. But it’s so much so easy to find yourself telling them something while doing another thing, isn’t it? Whereas if you just do the thing, you don’t need to tell them anymore because they just see that as normal. So yeah, exercise is one of those. Daphne’s a dancer so she does a fair bit of dancing and different formats and stuff. So she does a fair bit of exercise.

Colin Gray [00:15:02]:
But I think some of that has come from the fact that she sees me and my wife like we, we make a big point of, you know, working out four times a week and doing a fair bit of exercise and being active and getting out in the hills and all that kind of stuff. So I think example is so powerful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:16]:
It definitely is. Now every one of us as fathers want our daughters to feel valued, heard and to know that we are there for them. What do you intentionally do to help your daughter to feel valued and heard?

Colin Gray [00:15:31]:
I think the main thing I try and do, rightly or wrongly, is I’ve always tried to be as honest and constructive as possible. And I think I’ve certainly. My wife thinks I go too far with this sometimes to actually criticize a painting. They’ve done a painting or made something and you’re like, don’t criticize that. That’s not the right word. But critical feedback. Oh. So good effort on doing this.

Colin Gray [00:15:57]:
I wonder what do you like about it? Do you like this part and this part? I love this part about it. I wonder that year is not quite right. I wonder if we draw that dog. How would you normally draw a dog ear? So it looks a bit more accurate and I certainly think you don’t. This is probably something that many people would disagree on, but I’ve always done that ever since they were quite small. So I think that has built more trust over the years. So that when I do give my daughter a compliment or I tell her she’s done well at something, I think she trusts it rather than, you know, as a kid you always appreciate the praise from your parents but. But you begin to realize that your mom’s going to tell you you’re great at whatever you do, no matter how good you are at it.

Colin Gray [00:16:35]:
So I think that’s what I’ve always tried to do is to be quite honest and be a little bit critical friend when I can so that trust builds. So is that something to do yourself? Do you find that with more grown up daughters have you had any feedback on that?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:52]:
I do. I try and sometimes I fail. And I think that they’re much more willing to tell me when I’m failing. And I think that that’s okay. I think that all of us, as I said before, none of us are infallible. We all make mistakes. And I think that we have to be willing to learn and grow and not be so set in our ways that we’re not willing to take that feedback ourselves. I try to give feedback to my daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:22]:
But you also come to learn when you can push, when you can pull, and when you just need to be still.

Colin Gray [00:17:28]:
Yes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:29]:
And I think as they get older, that’s definitely something. You have to learn that along the way.

Colin Gray [00:17:33]:
Yeah, absolutely. And you’re absolutely right there around making it mutual. It doesn’t work unless it’s mutual. And we do that quite a lot, actually, me and my wife. We say, like I often say to both of our kids, listen, I know I’m getting you in trouble for something here. I know I’m giving you, like, telling you what to do and all that kind of stuff, but if there’s ever any. I’m always willing to take feedback. If there’s anything you think I’m wrong about, I will always listen to you.

Colin Gray [00:17:56]:
If you say it to me in a reasonable, fair manner, if we can talk in normal tone of voice, and we’re not going to shout at each other. If you ever give me feedback, if you ever want to tell me something if you think I’m wrong, please just tell me and I’ll always listen to you. I might disagree, but I’ll always listen as long as we can talk about it in a civil manner. And I think that’s often built a decent bit of trust as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:15]:
And I think a lot of fathers and parents in general get in trouble when they don’t approach parenting in that way. Because I think when you get into arguments and you’re butting heads, especially during the teenage years, because that tends to happen, that’s when things go sideways. And that’s when you say things you regret in the end or you injure or hurt the relationship in a way that becomes harder to come back from. And I like the word that you said when you said you come at this with a mutual, you know, and it’s. I think there’s a mutual respect. Right. You need to be able to provide respect for your child. You want them to have respect for you, too.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:57]:
But ultimately, as they get older, you need to show that mutual respect for the decisions that they’re making as they become adults, while at the same time knowing that you may not be agreeing with the decisions that they’re making.

Colin Gray [00:19:09]:
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:11]:
Because I’ve had that happen.

Colin Gray [00:19:12]:
Yeah. I’m sure that’s one of the areas where I have a big weakness. Like my. Probably my biggest weakness as a parent is I can end up stuck on a road. Stubbornly. My wife will back this up. That I have a stubborn streak whereby if I have started down some kind of path, I say it relates to what we were talking about earlier. Like I’ve decided we’re going to have a good day by walking into town and having an ice cream and then we’re going to have a nice chat and then we’re going to come home.

Colin Gray [00:19:37]:
And that’s in my head. And stubbornly I’ll stick to that. Even though I realize my daughter’s not really into this anymore or she’s actually just had a bit of a bad day because her and her friend just had a little fight or something has happened which means that we should be changing plans. And it’s kind of ironic because I think run my own business. I do a bunch of other stuff that means I need to be flexible. I need to be flexible and adapt to plans. But with my children, sometimes I’m very bad at that. I’m not good at adapting.

Colin Gray [00:20:02]:
So when something starts and I end up on a track and I stubbornly stick to it, that’s when I end up seeing things I’ll regret all the time because I’ll somehow just refuse to be able to change my mind or to be able to go back on something. Even though I realize that I’ve ended up. It’s at least half my fault, if not more, that we’re now shouting at each other.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:21]:
And I think that showing them that adaptability is important because so often in life we have to be resilient and you have to bounce back. I just had an example of that with my oldest daughter up till Monday of this week. She was supposed to be flying out yesterday to go on a month long mission trip to Kenya. It got canceled Monday afternoon.

Colin Gray [00:20:45]:
Okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:45]:
Because of the diseases that were happening in and around Kenya.

Colin Gray [00:20:51]:
Yeah.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:51]:
And of course she’s devastated and you have to understand and you have to try to help her to be resilient. But there’s also that understanding of where your daughter is at the time to be able to be in the mindset of hearing that message while knowing that she may not be able to take that message in at the Right.

Colin Gray [00:21:13]:
Time. Yeah, yeah, totally. That’s a pretty general human thing, isn’t it? There’s certain times when we’ve had bad news or we’re in a bad mood, the last thing you want to hear is, oh, don’t worry, it’s going to be okay. Like, I don’t get. It’s not going to be okay. Yeah, it’s hard to find that empathy, though. That’s. Yeah, it’s difficult, especially with a teenager, I think it is.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:33]:
So, you know, I think, though, that showing them that adaptability, though, leads them to be resilient and to be able to see that it’s okay to change plans and it’s okay to move in a different direction. Now, I will say that if you have neurodivergent children, changing plans and being adaptable may be harder. And I’m just going to recognize that because I know that that can be more of an issue. I don’t want to say that all kids are going to be the same in doing that, but I think that it is still important to help them to be able to understand how can we be adaptable based on the life of what’s happening in our life, what’s happening today, what’s happening tomorrow and beyond.

Colin Gray [00:22:14]:
Yeah, definitely. I think. I don’t know. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this as well, Chris. But like, when we were in Japan last year, I found that a really interesting trip in the. We planned a lot less than we usually would. So we were there for a few weeks and there were so many little problems came up on that trip. Like something went wrong, something didn’t turn up on time, and it was all because we didn’t actually plan it that well ahead because we wanted to be quite flexible.

Colin Gray [00:22:37]:
But there was so many, like, great experience moments in there, around that hopefully the kids again, from example, isn’t it like seeing my wife and I say, all right, okay, so we can’t get that train after all. So can’t get to our hotel tonight. Which means pretty unfortunate, but we’ll find something else. So we just start looking for other things and kind of about. And talking to folk. And I think that’s sometimes actually a great way or I found a great way to show them that and to teach them that is actually to take a chance on something that’s a bit less. A bit more unpredictable. Maybe plan a bit less than you would normally or try a type of trip that you wouldn’t normally take or things like that.

Colin Gray [00:23:13]:
And then obviously attempt not to entirely Panic when it goes, goes wrong yourself, which is not always the easiest thing, but give it a go at least. Have you ever tried something like that?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:23]:
I have. You know, and I think I find that I tend to like to be busy when I’m on vacation, like you’re saying. And I tend to like to know what’s around and, and I try to plan things but sometimes the, the best trips that we’ve been on have been ones where we have a general sense of what we’re going to do but then we leave it open to a bit more chance of okay as we’re driving around. You know, it’s not that we have to be there right at 10 o’, clock, but hey, that sign says something’.

Colin Gray [00:23:55]:
Here.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:55]:
Maybe we, let’s, let’s take that little side trip and we don’t have to be there right at 10. We could be there at 10:30. Let’s go check that out. Or you know, you’re, you’re walking and you’re headed toward a direction but then you see a, a side shop that looks really interesting. Is it going to matter that you’re 10 minutes late? Maybe it will. And if that’s the case, then you can come back. But if there, if you don’t have the specific things that you have to do at the right time, at the right, you know, in the right order, sometimes it’s fun and it makes it even more memorable.

Colin Gray [00:24:27]:
Yeah, definitely more memorable. I mean some of the most memorable things we’ve done all together as a family were completely unplanned, completely unpredictable or even it’s just a complete mess ups. Like when the car breaks down and you have to walk a mile to the garage and you get stuck somewhere in a bog because you try to take a shortcut. You know, silly things like that, that’s the stories that stick around. It’s never the ones that you, you plan for like the beautifully crafted Christmas dinner or the, or the, you know, the trip that was planned within an inch of its life that was meant to be most memorable. It’ll be, it’ll be the silly, the silly one thing that went wrong on those things every single time that comes up, isn’t it? It’s always the family stories.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:03]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad connection. 66 more questions to delve into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Colin Gray [00:25:10]:
Go for it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:10]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughter?

Colin Gray [00:25:14]:
Feisty.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:15]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received I that it’s

Colin Gray [00:25:20]:
always just a phase. So if it’s something good that’s happening right now, if they’re in a great mood, if they’re all like, if the relationship’s going well, then appreciate it, because it will probably change. But if it’s all going terribly, if they’re behaving terribly, if there’s something bad happening, you can’t get them toilet trained, whatever it might be, it’s just a phase. It’ll pass. So either way, if it’s good, appreciate it. If it’s bad, it’ll pass.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:42]:
What’s one activity that you and your daughter love doing together?

Colin Gray [00:25:45]:
Piggybacks still. Even though she’s getting way too heavy and it keeps me strong.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:51]:
If you could give your daughter one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Colin Gray [00:25:55]:
I think it is something around what we were talking about there, around resilience and change. It’s like things will change, but you have the strength and the intelligence and the resilience to adapt it. No matter what goes wrong, you’ll figure out a way that our family is a family of problem solvers. That’s what we all do. So we love to solve problems. So just see it all as an interesting challenge.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:17]:
What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Colin Gray [00:26:20]:
That I am a much better person to be around when I can abandon my preconceived expectations and actually just go with the flow more.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:29]:
And what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Colin Gray [00:26:36]:
There’s something around probably the hardest thing which is holding them more loosely than you feel like you should, whether that’s how much you need to protect them, whether it’s how much you need to guide them or whether it’s how much you need to tell them the way to do things. We should probably. I certainly I should. I have learned certainly to do that more loosely than I naturally would otherwise.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:59]:
Well, Colin, I just want to say thank you. If people want to find out more about you and what you’re doing with podcast host or anything else that you’re doing right now. Where should they go?

Colin Gray [00:27:08]:
Yeah, probably the best place actually is just go over to Colin Gray. So my name, Colin Gray link. That’s kind of links to all the stuff I’m doing. So yeah, just Colin Gray link.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:16]:
And I’ll put a link in the notes today to for you to be able to connect with Colin. Colin, thanks so much for being here. Appreciate the time today. Appreciate you sharing your story. I know it’s continuously evolving and it will continue to evolve as your daughter gets older, but I really appreciate your time today and for you sharing with us and I wish you all the best.

Colin Gray [00:27:39]:
No, thank you very much for having me on. It’s always a pleasure to chat. It was good to catch up. So, yeah, cheers.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:44]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:28:14]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can.

Raising Sons with ADHD: Challenges, Triumphs, and Support Systems

March 17, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In a recent episode of the Dad & Daughter Connection podcast, host Dr. Christopher Lewis was joined by Daniel Vozenilek, a seasoned stay-at-home dad, and Dr. Norrine Russell of Russell Coaching, to discuss the intricacies of parenting children with ADHD. The conversation delved into personal experiences, parenting strategies, and resources aimed at helping fathers navigate the complexities of raising children with ADHD.

Meet the Guests

Daniel Vozenilek has spent 22 years as a stay-at-home dad, raising his two children, Mason and his daughter. Mason’s ADHD has presented unique challenges that Daniel has adeptly managed. In a parallel journey, Daniel himself was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, offering him a deeper understanding of his son’s experiences. Dr. Norrine Russell, an expert in ADHD coaching, provided valuable insights into improving family dynamics and fostering better connections.

Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Families

ADHD significantly affects family dynamics, often causing disconnection between fathers and their children. Dr. Russell explained that fathers might misinterpret ADHD behaviors as laziness or lack of motivation. She emphasized the importance of understanding ADHD to mitigate conflict and foster stronger relationships. The discussion highlighted the disparity in fathers’ experiences when parenting sons versus daughters with ADHD, noting that power struggles are more prevalent with sons.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Daniel Vozenilek has taken his experience to create “A Dad’s Guide,” a resource aimed at supporting fathers parenting children with ADHD. The guide encourages a non-authoritative, supportive parenting approach, offering an authentic space for fathers to share experiences and seek advice. To further support his mission, Daniel has launched a community initiative, including a podcast and Facebook group dedicated to discussing ADHD basics, neurodiversity, brain functioning, and father-son dynamics.

Challenges and Empathy in Parenting

One of the key takeaways from the episode is the importance of empathy in parenting. Daniel shared his journey of initially struggling to understand his son’s learning style and interests. Over time, he recognized Mason’s passion for automobiles, which led to a fulfilling career path. This journey emphasized the need to prioritize each child’s interests and needs, be it a neurotypical child or one with ADHD.

Building Resources and Community

Dr. Norrine Russell and Daniel Vozenilek discussed the necessity of creating resources for dads raising sons with ADHD. Russell Coaching offers coaching services for kids with ADHD, autism, and anxiety, helping families address executive functioning struggles. The podcast and Facebook group initiated by Daniel aim to provide a supportive community where fathers can discuss and receive guidance on challenges such as peer pressure, driving, post-high school planning, and financial management.

This insightful episode of the Dad & Daughter Connection underscores the continuous learning process involved in parenting. The conversation between Dr. Lewis, Daniel Vozenilek, and Dr. Norrine Russell provides a roadmap for fathers navigating the unique challenges of raising children with ADHD, emphasizing understanding, empathy, and the importance of community support.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to The Dad & Daughter Connection podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters’ lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. You know, every week, I love being able to sit down, talk to you, work with you as we are going on this journey together. And I call it a journey because it really is a journey. You know, my I’ve told you before, my my daughters are in their teenage years, in their twenties. So my experience is going to be different than your experience, but that’s okay because we’re all learning along the way. And every day is a learning experience. You’re going to trip.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:54]: You’re going to fall. You’re going to pick yourself up, and you’re going to keep working hard to try to be that best dad that you want to be. And that’s why this podcast is here. This podcast is here to help you to be able to learn some things, pick up some tools for that toolbox that you have and that you carry along with you on a day to day basis. And you’re going to learn from from fathers, mothers. You’re gonna learn from other resources that we provide you. And if you’ve never been here before, welcome. But if you’ve been here week after week, you know that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:23]: And you know that we bring you different guests that are helping you in different ways. And today we’ve got 2 great individuals that are here to be able to talk with us about some other resources and parenting in general. Dan Vazanelik is with us today, and Dan is working on a guide called the dad’s guide for boys with ADHD. We’re gonna be talking about that. But then also with us is doctor Noreen Russell, and doctor Russell is with Russell Coaching. And, this project that Dan’s working on is a part of that. So we’re gonna be talking to both of them about some of their own experiences. We’ll mostly be talking to Dan today, but Noreen will also kind of pop in and out based on our conversation, but I’m really excited to have both of them here today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:10]: Dan, Noreen, thanks so much for being here today.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:02:12]: Noreen Thank you for having us. It’s a real pleasure. Howard Bauchner

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:14]: It is my pleasure to have you here today. And I always start the podcast with an opportunity to kind of turn the clock back in time. And Dan, I know you’re a father. You’re a father of a son and a daughter. I would love to be able we’re gonna focus a little bit on your daughter. We’re gonna put that spotlight there, but then we’re also gonna talk about what you’re doing for fathers of sons too. But let’s talk about your your daughter first. So, and I wanna turn the clock back in time.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:38]: So let’s go back to the very beginning, the very first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:02:44]: It was coming from an experience of having a son who was 7 at the time. And so we were just absolutely thrilled. To be frank, we had struggled for a while to decide whether or not we were gonna have another child, but we realized the importance of having our son having a sibling so that thinking way ahead, and not doom and gloom, but thinking way ahead down the road, that once we’re gone, he should still have somebody, some built in family that he can lean on. And so when we made the decision to have another child and found out that it was a girl, we just were so blessed to know that not only was our mission gonna be fulfilled, but we were gonna be able to bring another beautiful life to this world. And it’s been an amazing journey ever since. She’s 15 now and almost 16. And I confused them, my wife, Tina, and my daughter, Kate. And I’m doing the name thing now where it’s, I’m calling her Tina and back and forth.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:03:39]: And then I just said, whoever you are.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:41]: You’re not alone in that. I have done that many times. And and then my daughters are like, don’t you know our names? I’m like, yeah. I I do. I you know, it’s just dad brain, and we’ll we’ll just leave it at that.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:03:53]: I think it comes from a place of love. Right? We just love them so much that it’s just we forget. Let’s use that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:59]: You know, I talked to a lot of dads and dads with sons, they walk into it and they at least seem to think that they have some concept of what to expect because they have that common experience of being a man. And they think, oh, I can do this. You know, I’ve gone through growing up as a guy, as a boy, as a man. But when you put the concept of raising a daughter in front of a lot of guys, there’s some fear. There’s some fear that creeps in. As you think about raising your daughter, what was your biggest fear or is your biggest fear in raising a daughter?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:04:34]: Honestly, we can get into this later, but I struggled a bit with my son’s ADHD. And so when our daughter was born, I was concerned that I was gonna be able to meet her emotional needs in the way that a father should show up for a daughter. And, I’ve just been enjoying the process from day 1. It’s just a different experience. And I like to say that watching my daughter grow up and raising my daughter was a bit like getting to understand what it was like for my own wife to grow up as a young lady and all of the pressures and demands that are on her and expectations and to really try to fill in the gaps where necessary. Just making sure that she knew what what love felt like, what a strong father felt like, what a compassionate and empathetic father was like so that in the future and and this is something that I used to tell my son. You know, we’re modeling what Kate will look for in a partner. So we need to make sure that we are attentive to our words, that we make sure that we’re soft and welcoming, you know, those sorts of things.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:05:40]: So that was my biggest challenge. But Kate’s just an amazing young woman. And I know a lot of parents say that about their kids, but Kate is something special. She is considerate and kind and lovely, and in a way has made me a better person and has made me wanna strive to be a more well rounded role model for her.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:06:00]: I’m gonna chime in here for a second because I think there’s something unique about Dan’s story that may resonate with some of your listeners. So I too have a son and a daughter, and both of my kids are atypical. Both have autism and ADHD. Dan, I think and you can, of course, chime in here and clarify, Dan. But I think your experience of parenting Kate is in many ways shaped more by your experience of parenting Mason than some other parents might say if they had 2 neurotypical parents. You know, when we’re raising sons and they’re first in the birth order and and they present a lot of challenges. And, of course, we love them passionately about we’re struggling with school, we’re struggling with behavior at home. And when you have a second child or another child who is a little easier by comparison.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:06:59]: I just really I wanna acknowledge the reality of that a little bit because we are surely not the only parents who have 2 kids where one just required more attention and more focus and created stress. Not because they wanted to or they were trying to, but just through the nature of how their brains were wired. And so I think one of the things that Dan and I have in common is that our daughters are the younger ones and we’re getting kind of a fresh breath in terms of parenting. That’s not quite so impacted by the challenges of ADHD or other neurodevelopmental disorders. So that’s an important thing to note here because we know that about 10% of kids who have ADHD, 10% of kids have ADHD, roughly speaking, 5 to 12%. And so that’s our niche. That’s our community of people that we’re really wanting to reach out to and help.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:58]: One of the things that I guess that I would ask on that, Dan, is the fact that so there was quite an age gap between your son and your daughter. You were dealing with your son’s ADHD and figuring that out as you went along about how do you support your son. You have a baby at home, and that child is gonna be pulling the time of you and your wife. So and I’m sure that that was probably not the easiest if your son wanted your attention as well. So talk to me a little bit about some of the manifestations that you had to not only work through, but also I guess some of the things that you had to work with your son on, especially in introducing that new life into the family dynamic while also dealing with the ADHD aspects of his personality that I’m sure may have been challenging at times.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:08:51]: Oh, for sure. And to add, I have been a stay at home dad for 22 years now. So I was the primary caregiver in the home. And it was easy for us to introduce Kaden to the family because Mason was so excited to have a sister, and the 2 of them have been inseparables ever since day 1. And the challenge of a d that ADHD brought as Mason moved through middle school was the times when he was at school were the times where Kate and I could do all of our amazing bonding and our connection and just spending all that time together. And when Mason would come home from school, things were really challenging. So Kate would have to kind of take a back seat while I dealt with the after school routine of getting Mason settled, getting him engaged in his homework, and trying to navigate all of that while planning for my wife to come home, have the meals, the typical stay at home parent. But I just found that the balance of the 2 was really unique because Mason’s demands were very much focused on task accomplishments and that strong male role model of you need to get this done.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:09:54]: And being a father with ADHD as well, you know, that kind of complicated things too. Now, when it came to Kate, just again, the softness and the ability to relax into our our parent child role and almost develop into a friendship in a way, really softened the difficulty that I was having with Mason. And in turn too, Mason could also rely on his sister as she got older to kinda soften the mood and remind him to show up a young man should for his family.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:24]: So talk to me about you you mentioned being a father with ADHD. I found out at an older age that I had ADHD. I probably should have known when and my parents were not surprised when I told them that that I had been diagnosed with ADHD at an older age. But talk to me about how being an ADHD dad has impacted you in your interactions, not only with your wife, but with your kids and how you’ve had to compensate in that regard as well, especially working now with your son that has ADHD too.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:10:53]: I also was diagnosed when I was a little bit older. And the story is is when Mason started first Curator, approximately, we started to get those notes home and the indications were there. So we had him tested. And by 3rd grade, he saw, medication for ADHD. He had been seen by a doctor and we started that. What it did for me was sort of reminded me, like, wait a minute. What I was seeing in him, the struggles and challenges with his attention and task initiation and organization, especially as he moved up in through middle school, it it made me realize, well, wait a minute. I remember never feeling like I was on the same page as my classmates, always feeling behind and distracted and sort of, you know, cutting up in class, and I’d be be labeled the attention seeker.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:11:38]: So when my son was struggling, it resonated with me in a very deep way, like, almost from a place of fear that I had to make sure that he didn’t struggle the way that I did. And, so at about 35, I was diagnosed as well. So funny enough, when you mentioned how my wife’s dealt with my ADHD, I don’t know how she’s put up with me all these years. We met in 1993 so we’re celebrating some anniversaries this year And it’s just been an amazing journey but quite frankly the number of times she has had to repeat herself or repeat the reminders I think she just just got used to it and figured well, this is just who he is So there were some challenges there then when you put in the fact that you have 2 men in the house that are both strong minded both with adhd and sometimes dysregulated, it was, it was a real challenge for her. And my heart is with her because she absolutely did an amazing job as a role of the soft landing zone for Mason. And the comfort for me when I was struggling with the feeling of, am I being a good father? Am I doing what what God has asked me to do? Am I, am, am I showing up in the way that I should? And in those times when I would get it wrong, I would just take it so personally and internally and say, oh gosh, I’m screwing this young man up and it’s already gonna be hard enough. So Tina was there for me and for Mason to make sure that we understood that we were both loved and cared for, even though we were both struggling at that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:10]: So I guess I wanna go into this service now that you’re providing. A a dad’s guide and the group that you’re creating and the resource you’re creating. And it seems like, I mean, from your own experience, from working with your son, I mean, you’re putting, I’m gonna say the blood, sweat, and tears into bringing your own experience to light, but also trying to help others walk through that experience. So talk to me about, first, you’re focusing on fathers and sons. What is it unique about that relationship that made you say, let’s start with this population? And then what are some of the the big aspects? Talk to me about the program itself, the guide itself, and what you’re trying to share with others to help them along that journey.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:13:56]: Okay. So the reason why we started this was going back a bit, doctor Russell actually helped us with Mason when he was at the end of 6th grade, 7th grade. That’s how we got to know each other. And when Doctor. Russell reached out to me one day, we were talking about how fathers tend to feel very isolated when they are struggling with their what’s going on in the home. And we decided that it would be a good idea to have a place for fathers to be authentic and be vulnerable and ask for advice. And especially being a father, again, father with ADHD, son with ADHD, and being a stay at home dad, I was just I felt like I had a lot to offer. I had a lot of information and experiences to share.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:14:40]: So we decided to start A Dad’s Guide parenting sons with ADHD, which is a new venture for us. And it’s we’ve been recording some podcasts starting with the basics of ADHD and neurodiversity, the brain and executive functioning, ADHD inheritance, these sorts of things, to give dads an idea of sort of the full picture of what it’s like to be a child with ADHD, but then also to parent that son in a loving way. And not by a leadership style that is, demanding and authoritative, but in one that says, hey, I’m with you. I’m your wingman, which is how I feel about my son now. And we can go on this journey together. And it really encourages fathers to get educated, to find their tribe, find other men who are either struggling or have gone through this journey. I feel like even though our daughter is 15 and it really soon doesn’t really need me very much anymore to drive her around, but we really feel like this is an opportunity to give dads a place to go where they can authentically seek advice when they’re feeling the struggles that come along with being a father. We’re expected to, at times, have all the answers, fix all of the problems.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:15:57]: And, honestly, that’s not always a realistic expectations because dads are also vulnerable. Dads also need a certain amount of love and respect and consideration. Then we bring into the fact how we were raised, what our father’s model was like, and mine was a bit flawed. So I had a lot of gaps to fill in and learned a bunch along the way. And, doctor Russa, do you wanna add?

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:16:20]: I think, you know, part of I just wanna add this little bit. You know, part of what I wanna say is that you have experienced, and I have seen over and over again in 100 of families, the disconnection that ADHD can create between fathers and their kids, sons or daughters, but quite painfully, sometimes, sons. And so while there’s so many reasons for disconnection in the modern American family, I think that for us, because of our experiences and because of the practice and and what I’ve been doing for the last 16 years, We really wanted to focus on how to help dads better understand their sons with ADHD and decrease the conflict in the home and increase the connection.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:05]: I guess one question that I would have, and I don’t know if you have the answer to this, and this is for either of you, is as you are working with dads with sons and you have a daughter yourself, Dan, I’d and it sounds like your daughter may not have ADHD. But I guess my question becomes, are either of you finding in working with individuals with ADHD that anything is specifically different in working with fathers with sons, fathers with daughters, or is it just understanding how to support your child when it comes to ADHD? Or are there specific nuances to understand in the gender dynamic that that fathers should understand? You know, if you have a child that is has ADHD, that’s a daughter, some things are gonna manifest in a little bit different way. And you’re gonna have to support them in a little bit different way.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:17:53]: I don’t wanna be overly gender stereotyped. Right? That’s not what any of us are about these days. And so I wanna be sort of cautious about drawing generalizations. That being said, for those people who are having the lived experience of, as Dan said, you know, we had 2 men in the house, you know? And so I think some of the gender dynamics that come into play with fathers and sons when it comes to ADHD, first of all, there’s just a tremendous lack of information and support for parents of kids with ADHD, which is shocking given how much public dialogue there is about ADHD and medication and over medication and over diagnosis. But when it comes to getting the basics when you get a diagnosis, we really don’t do a great job of that in this country. And so one of the really important things is developing an understanding of what is ADHD, and then what is ADHD for your kid. Right? So whether son or daughter, you know, do they have something else? You know, do they have a learning disability? Do they have anxiety? Do they also have autism? I think in terms of the gender dynamics, there are some common ones. There’s a lot of power struggles that I see between dads and sons and a lot of disconnection based on judgment.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:19:12]: He’s lazy. He’s unmotivated. He doesn’t care. He’s gonna be a slacker. He has to learn. Well, if he’s gonna fail, then, you know, he’ll just have to learn from his failure. There’s a lot of checking out on the part of dads when they feel frustrated. I think for dads of girls with ADHD, it’s a little bit different.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:19:33]: I don’t think the frustration rises quite as quickly or to the point that it sometimes does with teen boys. And and sometimes I think that’s because the nature of ADHD for some girls, some of the time, can be a little bit more inattentive or a little spacey. Now that is not true all the time. There are plenty of hyperactive girls, but I do think that there is a softness sometimes inherent to that relationship that leads to less conflict, less anger, less tension. And so that’s, I think, part of what our mission is around a dad’s guide parenting sons with ADHD is how do you better understand your son with ADHD so that level of frustration and then the subsequent kinda checking out can be decreased. And then it’s just as important for girls to understand how, you know, their ADHD manifests. It’s just that I think the conflict becomes a little bit less explosive. And sometimes if the co parent is a mom, I think there’s still that dynamic there that can be really helpful for the daughter.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:20:47]: And I don’t think dad should check out during the teen years. But sometimes the struggle around school and grades and what parents see as being responsible, I think is just in my experience over the last 16 years, which is not everybody, just a little bit less volatile with girls.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:21:05]: That was my experience too. I I found that when Mason and I would have our conflicts, I was a different type of parent. And I almost expected him to know what to do and to follow the leader kind of a thing. And I not remembering what it was like when I was a young man myself and what I also struggled with. And a funny little story is when my wife and I were first dating, we we asked each other what we wanted to be when we grew up and had professional lives, and she had, well, I want stability, and I wanna climb the corporate ladder. I don’t wanna move around a lot. I want a stable family. What would you like? And I said, I’d like to be a great dad.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:21:37]: And that was just on my radar from day 1. And our son now is 23. Kate and I were talking on the way to dropping her off to school this morning and how close they are and how much she deeply loves him and respects him as a man. We’ve launched him into adulthood. He makes amazing money as a service rider service adviser for Toyota and is independent on his own. And when he shows up, he lights up our lives. Just absolutely. Yeah.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:22:02]: So the the dynamic difference there is there is an endless amount of love for both kids. There is was a definite difference in the softness in how I treated Kate. Kate’s neurotypical, so she is a planner. She was always with the notes and getting her stuff done. Her priorities were always do my work first, and then I have time to play. And, again, when I talked about she’ll be 16 soon and won’t need me, it’s true. I mean, she’s she’s looking into colleges. She’s talking about where her first job will be, where my son was just spending time looking at car videos and turbos and tuners.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:22:38]: And I here I was struggling with well, if you’re spending all of your time over here doing these, just watching car repair videos, how are you ever going to get your geography going on? How are you ever gonna pass these plots? Forgetting the fact that this young man was spending his energy and his time in the field that resonated with him. So right out of high school, he knew he didn’t wanna go to college. He wanted to go to trade school to be a mechanic, and the rest is history. As soon as the rubber hit the road for him, metaphorically, he took off and became his own man. And then our relationship really shifted to more of a support and advisor role. So today when my phone rings versus when he was a teenager and I would avoid the phone calls and wonder, oh gosh, what’s what news is coming now? When the phone rings now or I see him at the door, all of our lives light up.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:28]: So talk to me about this community then that you’re creating. I know it’s a subscription model, and you’re bringing these fathers together. So talk to me about, this group, what you’re doing with this group, and what you’re finding so far in the communication, the community, dynamics that you’re developing, and what you’re hoping to build in the future. Well,

Daniel Vozenilek [00:23:48]: this is again, this is a new initiative for us. So what we’re hoping to build, again, is just a place for dads who are at whatever stage they’re in in their parenting journey, when whether they have one son or 2 or even if they have son and a daughter with ADHD, that they can come to a place and find resources and books and other podcasts and videos to help them along in their journey to give them hope. Coming back to how I felt a bit lost and a bit hopeless and a bit isolated from my friends, I didn’t realize it was through doctor Russell’s great advice to go find our tribe. We needed to find our community. And the more we talked to other parents who were also struggling, the more we realize we actually weren’t alone. And so that’s part of the void that we wanted to also fill.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:24:35]: And there’s nothing out there like this specifically for dads raising sons with ADHD. So the best introduction to our group is at Russell Coaching, and you’ll see that you can click on the link for a dad’s guide. And our hope really is to do a lot of what you’re doing, you know, provide support and information for dads, not as broadly as you’re doing, but for a specific niche audience of dads. So we’re building a library of podcasts talking about how to create connection with your son with ADHD. We’re talking about, on the podcast, how to understand neurodiversity. We’re talking about navigating the marriage or any kind of significant other when it comes to raising sons with ADHD. So we’re building a a library of podcasts that Dan and I started a few months ago. And then there’s a Facebook page also for dads where we’re just inviting them to share their experiences and and to get support.

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:25:37]: So that’s where we’re at so far, podcasts and a Facebook group.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:25:41]: And we’ll be covering all those difficult topics that are coming up for fathers who have sons in middle school now, but then we’re gonna be talking about the common trappings of what our sons are gonna be engaged with, whether it be avoiding the peer pressure of smoking and vaping. What about driving? What happens after high school? How to plan and talk to your son about that. And finances. I mean, my gosh, how many struggles did we have with Mason about saving and conserving money and the importance of not only getting a job, keeping a job, showing off, but then what do you do with those very precious dollars? So that as he was transitioned into adulthood, he could support himself and not continue to rely on mom and dad to solve the problems.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:21]: Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5 where we ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready? I’m ready. In one word, what is fatherhood?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:26:32]: Selflessness.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:33]: Now when was the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father to a daughter?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:26:39]: That’s a good one. And I know this answer because I’m I just see it. We’ll get emotional here. I opened up on my laptop one day and without if I open my laptop, it may challenge our Zoom here. But, basically, it was a a note to me saying how grateful she is that God put her mom and dad into her life and that she considers us her best friends. Now my daughter has an amazing my daughter is a connector. She has an amazing circle of friends at the ice skating rink from her middle school. Even from her summer camp, she has a pen pal.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:27:12]: I mean, she is just an absolute connector. And I know the quality of the kids that she surrounds herself with and the ones that come to her. And for her to say that we are her best friends coming from her, I knew I had arrived with her. And I have to say that was probably around the 7th grade, 7th or 8th grade. So she’s amazing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:33]: Well, now I’m gonna ask you about your kids. So if I were to talk to you, both your kids, how would they describe you as a dad?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:27:39]: He’s a great man. I overheard my son. We went to a motorcycle meet 1 night together, and I happened to walk a few steps away from him to talk to one of his coworkers and introduce myself. And I overheard another one of his friends say, wow. Your your dad’s really he’s really, really big pool. And he said, yeah. He’s a really great man. And he didn’t realize that I could hear him, and I could tell in his voice that he was sincere.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:28:02]: And it just choked me up because I never talked about my father like that. And to hear my own son admire and love me in that way, I knew that, we had a bond that was not gonna be broken.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:13]: Who inspires you to be a better dad?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:28:15]: Both my kids. Yeah. A 100%. I see in them the I see in them the future. I see and I’m not pushing them for grandchildren, but I cannot wait to do this all over again in a deeper and even more meaningful way that will leave a legacy and a lasting impression. And I do believe that we were put here to make better versions of ourselves. And I cannot wait to see what comes in round 2.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:41]: Now you’ve given some of your own experience today. You’ve shared some of the things that have worked for you and some of the things that you’re sharing with other dads. As you think of other dads, whether they’re raising sons, daughters, etcetera, what’s one piece of advice you’d wanna give to every dad?

Daniel Vozenilek [00:28:59]: Learn empathy. Learn what the real deep meaning of empathy is because we’re not often taught empathy in the home unless our parents are, have an amazing relationship, a lot of communication, a lot of support that the kids can see when there’s a struggle and how the parents come together to fix it and resolve it, lifting everybody up. The number one piece of advice, learn empathy. And through that, you can connect with most everybody, especially your kids. And when you understand that we are not perfect, we were not meant to be perfect. We were all meant to walk and support each other in this journey. I think that it all starts with empathy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:39]: Now we’ve been talking about the program that is just starting with Russell Coaching, with your dad’s your dad’s group. Talk to me about if people wanna find out more about coaching, about the group, where should they go?

Dr. Norrine Russell [00:29:53]: The easiest thing to do is to go to Russell coaching dot com, or just Google Russell coaching, and it’ll come up. And you can learn about our coaching services for kids with ADHD, autism, and anxiety. And we provide those services across the country. So it doesn’t matter where you’re at and basically help with all the things that kids who struggle with executive functioning struggle with, time management, goal settings, starting tasks, finishing tasks, and particularly as it relates to school. And then also on Russell Coaching.com, you can click on a dad’s guide and check out our group and hopefully join our group and be part of what Dan is creating and I’m supporting. And we can make a difference in the lives of families everywhere.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:38]: Well, Noreen, Dan, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for both being here for the work that you’re doing to help fathers and sons, and especially in this specific niche of helping them to connect and to be able to build those strong bonds. Definitely, we’ll be putting links in our notes today with all of that information, and I wish you both the best.

Daniel Vozenilek [00:30:58]: Thank you so much. We appreciate you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:59]: We’re all in the same boat And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and musclemen, get out and be the world to them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:44]: You’re the best dad you can be. You’re the best dad you can be.

Making My Podcasting More Mobile With Saramonic!

September 20, 2015 by dadofdivas

If you are a podcaster that has ever wanted to find a way to your podcasting on the road (or at least I have). I have a [amazon text=Roland R-05&asin=B003IJ3WIW] and know that I could simply use this to record voices, but I also always wondered if there was some way to connect in multiple dynamic XLR mics, like the [amazon text=Audio-Technica ATR2100&asin=B004QJOZS4] that I use, with the Roland to be able to have interviews with great quality microphones while traveling.

Now there is and I found a device that was inexpensive that the Roland R-05 can plug directly into and allows up to two dynamic XLR mics to be plugged in at the same time. The [amazon text=Saramonic SR-AX101&asin=B00N2G3JUC] is a Universal Audio Adapter with Dual XLR Inputs for DSLR Cameras & Camcorders and while it does not say that it is made for a Roland R-05, I can tell you that I have used it and it works and it is about half the price of the next device that I have heard of that does something similar.

The best thing about the [amazon text=Saramonic SR-AX101&asin=B00N2G3JUC] was that it provided you as a user:

Inputs: Two balanced XLR and one 3.5mm aux mini-jack input
Output: Stereo 3.5mm aux mini-jack
Dual control knobs; Mono/Stereo switch; Line/Mic & Dual Ground Switches
Universal camera/camcorder attachment via 1/4″ tripod thread (a second female tripod thread is beneath the unit)
Passive circuit

I personally used this and found that it provides you a pretty clean and clear sound overall. I recommend that unless you are interviewing someone a ways away from you, you will need to have a few microphone cords that are shorter in length (I use [amazon text=6′ microphone cord&asin=B000S7268E]). You can use any cord length you have though and that will work too.

The [amazon text=Saramonic SR-AX101&asin=B00N2G3JUC] saves you a ton of time, and is small and compact. While it does not come with a hard case to carry it in, you could use the box too or make-shift a case that could work too.

The only downside to this over the [amazon text=Beachtek DXA-SLR&asin=B00D3LTC8E] that I can see at first glance is that the Beachtek seems a bit more sturdy from first glance and there is more plastic used in the making of the [amazon text=Saramonic SR-AX101&asin=B00N2G3JUC].

Though this was the case, the audio quality was still top notch and it made my ability to podcast on the road that much simpler.

If you were like me and always wanted to podcast further outside of your home check out the [amazon text=Saramonic SR-AX101&asin=B00N2G3JUC]. I also would recommend this for anyone with a DSLR that is looking to expand the capabilities that it has for video recording.

If you have a [amazon text=Roland R-05&asin=B003IJ3WIW] or have been on the fence on whether to invest in one, I will also put in a plug here with the fact that I am VERY impressed with the sound quality of this recording device. That on top of very intuitive controls and recording custom prompts, you can really take your recording to the next level. There are even some podcasters that record only into their Roland R-05.

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Creating the Perfect Setup For A Podcasting Studio With Samson

September 4, 2015 by dadofdivas

Many of you know that I started a podcast with Don Jackson over at Daddy Newbie in May called Dad Spotlight! We are fifteen episodes in and continue to love what we are doing and sharing with others.

On top of this I also started a podcast at my work called Law School Insider to help those people thinking about going to law school or those that were already in law school to give them a better understanding of law school success.

As I started along this journey at work I did not have much equipment. I had one microphone at home that I would bring back and forth and its’ quality was a bit lacking. I also did not have a mixer either. Now starting off, I have to say that I do not know whether you have to have a mixer, but I will say that it is a lot easier, and you have so much more control when you do have a mixer.

So in starting a studio in my office at work, I knew I needed a good quality microphone and mixer to be able to take my podcasts to the next level. Lucky for me, I learned about some amazing products that Samson has on the market that really provide a very high quality experience for a very inexpensive price.

After doing some research and some talking to the folks at Samson, I found that the MixPad® MXP124FX and MTR101A Microphone Kit were really what I was looking for for my office. I wanted to be able to get great sound and control the audio levels both in my office and when I interviewed people from afar and both the microphone and mixer fit this bill implicitly.

You can find both of these great products on Amazon!

[amazon text=MixPad® MXP124FX&asin=B00I35Z8RY]
[amazon text=MTR101A Microphone Kit&asin=B00E9M4QU0]

About the MixPad® MXP124FX

The all-new MixPad® MXP124FX Compact, 12-Channel Analog Stereo Mixer with Effects and USB demonstrates Samson‘s commitment to quality, affordability and professional specs. This lightweight mixer offers all of the sonic clarity, ease of use and premium performance that serious musicians demand.

About the MTR101A Microphone Kit

Samson‘s MTR101A Studio Mic Kit brings exceptional performance and high-end quality to a variety of live and studio situations. Ideal for recording vocals, close miking instruments, use as a room microphone and more, the MTR101A (MTR101 Condenser Microphone, pop filter and shockmount included) solidifies, Samson‘s commitment to offering superior sound and the ability to capture the best audio possible.

I have been using both of these now for about a week and have been very impressed thus far to the quality of both. In talking to my co-host he mentioned that my audio-quality sounded crisper and I love the additional control that I receive from the mixer too. While I know that I have a lot to learn when it comes to all of the additional controls on the mixer itself, I am learning every day and that for me is a great thing!

If you are looking to set up your own podcast, these two items are definitely ones that I would recommend to all of you!

As mentioned before. you can find both of these great products on Amazon if you want to grab them for yourself!

[amazon text=MixPad® MXP124FX&asin=B00I35Z8RY]
[amazon text=MTR101A Microphone Kit&asin=B00E9M4QU0]

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Setting Up A Home Studio For Talking To Others With Samson Products

July 23, 2015 by dadofdivas

Many of you know that I recently started a new website and podcast with fellow blogger and friend, Don Jackson of DaddyNewbie.com. The podcast, Dad Spotlight speaks to parenting and all of the things that we deal with on a daily basis and I have to say that Don and I are having a blast thus far.

Getting this podcast off the ground took some time and we had to do a lot of research to get it right. Many people talk about the importance to just get it up and going, and I would have to agree, but Don and I also agreed that we wanted to have the structure and equipment in place to get a good sound that would bring people back again and again.

So we spent time, researched items and purchased items. We found what we needed, and what we did not need, and we are still learning a lot about this even today.

One of the things recently that I have come to find is that having only one microphone for one location just does not cut it, and having to transport my primary microphone with me wherever I go just makes no sense. That being said I was excited to work with Samson to try out a few items to set up a more mobile studio per se that allows me to record on the go, get a great recording and sound for playback too.

Samson provided me with two great items, the [amazon text=Samson Meteor M2 Computer speakers&asin=B00NV8VAIE] and the [amazon text=Samson Meteorite&asin=B00I9RK97K].

As Samson States about the Two:

Samson Meteor

Featuring state of the art sound processing technology and a solid all metal zinc die cast construction, the Meteor M2 pushes the boundaries of volume and sound quality for compact speakers. According to Ask Audio Magazine: “These speakers produce far more bass than speakers of this size should have the right to.” The perfect gift for the avid Netflix watcher, gamer or music freaks, the Meteor M2 provides a true stereo soundscape.

Samson Meteorite

Samson‘s Meteorite is the universal solution for capturing high-quality recordings on your computer. Meteorite is ideal for podcasting, creating audio for YouTube videos and recording music on your favorite software or apps. This sleek microphone will also vastly improve your ability to communicate with friends, family and business associates on programs like Skype, FaceTime and other VoIP software.

So I decided to set this up at home as a mobile studio and see what it would take to create a way to do the podcast from there (instead of in the studio environment itself). Granted, I did this without the kids around to keep the noise down. That being said, I have to say that first off, the set up was easy and seamless. There were no issues and the computer immediately accepted everything.

First off- lets start with the microphone. This small microphone takes up so little space, but it picks up a ton of sound and really provides high quality for recording purposes. I loved how the microphone simply sits in the magnetic cradle ans wirelessly connects to the base – talk about high-tech! The audio quality for the microphone was very clear and I had a hard time noticing a difference between this and my other microphone, except for the fact that I did not have a wind screen in front of this one as I do for the other one that I own.

For the price for how small this microphone was I was very impressed with the microphone itself. You get a ton of power in the petite size of this microphone!

The speakers were so retro! I loved the sleek design and the look and feel of them. They are heavy duty and provide you with amazing sound. I was really impressed with the overall design and quality of these speakers and they were such a step up from what I had used in the past. While I was not using these primarily for music, I did try them with a CD or two and found the bass to be amazing and the treble to rock as well.

Both of these products offered so much more than I expected and for the price they were a very good value and would allow you to easily set up a mobile studio for yourself in no time!

If you would be interested in purchasing these, you can find them on Amazon through the (Aff) links below!

[amazon text=Samson Meteor M2 Computer speakers&asin=B00NV8VAIE]

[amazon text=Samson Meteorite&asin=B00I9RK97K].

Have you used Samson products in the past? If so, which ones and what was your experience? If not, what are you using for microphone or speakers in your own home?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

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