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One Dad's Quest to Regain Control of his Kingdom

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How to Be a Good Role Model for Your Daughters

September 15, 2022 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Father holding child looking out a window

Being a role model for your daughter is one of the most important things you can do as a father. After all, she will likely grow up to be very much like you! But it’s not always as easy to just get on with life and hope that she picks up on the right behaviors and attitudes. Instead, you need to be very intentional about being a role model to her. From what you teach her to how you encourage her future, it all counts. Here are some tips on how to be a good role model for your daughters.

1. Be Present in Her Life

Your daughter needs you to be present in her life, both physically and emotionally. Make sure to set aside quality time each week to spend with her, doing things that she enjoys. This is a great opportunity to bond with her and get to know her on a deeper level. Additionally, be sure to always be there for her when she needs to talk – even if it’s just about her day at school or something that’s bothering her.

2. Be Honest With Her

It’s important that you’re always honest with your daughter, both about the good and the bad. If you make a mistake, own up to it and apologize. This will teach her that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Additionally, being honest with her will help build trust between the two of you. This can also be very important in strengthening your bond.

3. Be Supportive of Her Dreams and Ambitions

No matter what your daughter wants to do in life, it’s important that you support her dreams and ambitions. Encourage her to chase after her goals and let her know that you believe in her – even if she wants to do something that you may not have envisioned for her future, like the role of James Dolan. Remember, she is the one who will ultimately have to live with the decisions she makes in life, so it’s important that she follows her heart.

4. Be Respectful Towards Others – Especially Women

It’s important that you treat others – particularly women – with respect at all times, both in front of your daughter and when she’s not around. Showing respect for others will teach your daughter to do the same, both in regards to the people she interacts with on a daily basis and herself. Treating others disrespectfully will only serve to damage your relationship with your daughter and cause problems in other areas of her life as well.

Being the Best Male Example, You Can Be

If you follow these tips, you’ll be well on your way toward being a great role model for your daughters! Just remember to always be present in their lives, contribute positively towards their development, and support their dreams and ambitions – no matter what they may be!

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: dad, dads, family, father, fatherhood, parenthood, parenting, tips for dads, tips for fathers

How You Can Help Your Kids Stay On The Right Path

May 24, 2021 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Being a parent is a tough job, one of the toughest jobs that there is. It takes a whole lot of love, patience, determination, and understanding, and even then, we often feel like we are getting things wrong.

This post may have been titled ‘How You Can Help Your Kids Stay On The Right Path’, the truth is that there is no right path in life – everyone has different ones and what is right for one person may not be so for the next. There is also no guarantee that your child will follow the path that you hope that they will take. However, here, we are going to look at some of the things that you can do to ensure that they are happy, respectful, and law-abiding citizens of the future – and that is all we hope they can be, isn’t it?

road

Image by succo from Pixabay

Make time for your kids

Children – well, humans in general, thrive on attention and positive time with the people that they love, so by giving this to your kids in abundance, you are already well on your way to being a good role model and showing them the path that you hope that they will take. It does not have to be doing anything big or expensive. A cuddle and a story before bedtime, ice cream after school, and a trip to the park can be just as fun and special to a child as a big, fancy day out. A secure attachment makes children feel safe and loved and is more likely to help them make the right decisions.

 

Model the behavior you want to see from them

Children learn from examples, so show them the behavior you want to see from them. If you want them to be kind and respectful to others, you need to be kind and respectful to others. If you want to show them the value of working hard, you need to work hard. Be the best example that you can be – your children will often follow in your footsteps.

 

Communication is key

Children who are unable to express their feelings can become upset and act out in other ways. Children who can adapt their feelings to words and communicate them clearly to adults and other children are more likely to solve problems through conversation. They are more likely to approach you and talk to you about things rather than making a poor decision.

 

Make sure they are aware of the consequences of poor decision making

One of the biggest deterrents for criminal behavior and poor decision making is to make sure your children are aware of the consequences. At the more serious end of the spectrum is potential trouble with the law and needing a talented group of criminal defense attorneys to get them out of it. On the lesser end are friendship problems, but there is a whole lot of things in between.

Even the best will in the world cannot guarantee your child will always make the right decision and stay on the right path, but these tips will go a long way.

 

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: dad, dads, father, fatherhood, future, Help Your Kids Stay On The Right Path, helping kids, parent, parenting, path

Mental Health Tips for Parents

February 17, 2021 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and in the midst of the recent COVID-19 pandemic, you may be struggling more than ever to keep your mental health in check. As a result, you may have felt a sense of guilt or uselessness for your inability to take control of everyday situations as you once did, but this is completely natural given the circumstances, and you shouldn’t feel the need to talk yourself down. In this guide, we’re going to look at some helpful tips you can take on board to keep your mental health in check as a parent. Take a look at these tips below:

mental health

Talk to your partner

There are days when you may feel completely at your wit’s end to the point where you question your abilities as a parent – and you wouldn’t be the only one. Everyone struggles from time to time, and in such as unprecedented state of events that we’re currently living through, it’s natural to feel moments of panic or uncertainty in your capabilities of taking care of yourself and your children’s needs. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to reach out to your partner for support. They should be one of the only individuals in your life who completely understand your personal circumstances and is happy to support you every step of the way. Through discussion, you should hopefully be able to come to some decisions about how to ease the burden and share responsibilities so you don’t feel overwhelmed or stressed when you are suffering from days of severe depression or anxiety.

 

Know the signs in others around you as well

If your mental health has suffered quite badly over the past year or so as a result of the pandemic, you may begin to notice when others around you are struggling in the same way. Keep an eye out for the key signs that your family or friends are suffering too. Some of the most common signs of depression include:

  • Irritability
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lack of interest in hobbies
  • Unable to sleep / irregular sleep patterns
  • Inability to concentrate

For instance, your teenager could be struggling to open up with anybody. By noticing the signs and being open about how you feel could help them feel not so alone. If, upon noticing the signs, you feel like trying to handle your own mental health issues and help your child is too much, the best option would be to seek professional help such as a counselor or treatment program. Mental health conditions can worsen without the correct strategies, and you may not have much of an idea of how to help your child get it under control. If you believe your teenager is suffering from any of the above symptoms, it would be well worth visiting depression clinics to help them get their life back on track while you also find solutions that work for you. Often clinics can give you essential tactics to cope with parenting a child with mental health issues, for example.

 

Recognize your strengths

When times get tough, and your mental health is suffering, it’s very easy to focus on your weaknesses rather than your strengths. However, remembering how great you are will certainly boost your confidence and hopefully help switch off negative thoughts that are causing you to ruminate. Instead of telling yourself, ‘today isn’t going well’ and ‘I am a failure,’ recognize what you have achieved and what you are capable of. Children are inspired by the behavior they are surrounded by, so aim to stay as positive as you can to be a good role model.

 

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: clueless father, father, fatherhood, Mental health, parenting, parents

The Father Effect: 5 Benefits of Being Involved in Your Child’s Life

May 10, 2020 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Father & Son Activities You'll Want to Try Together at Least Once

For some reason, the role of dads in parenting has been placed second to that of mothers. However, data-driven science has proven that fathers are as important as mothers when it comes to raising kids. According to several studies, including the publication, Life Without Father, by David Popenoe, dads or father figures are very important in healthy child development. Kids who have involved, loving fathers tend to reap tons of benefits from the relationship, including social, economic, and academic success. However, as a father, you need to understand that showing up is only half the battle. Apart from showing up, attending recitals, and taking them out, you also need to be actively involved in your little one’s life. As a result, your relationship with your child will help them enjoy the following benefits.

Higher Cognitive and Intellectual Abilities

Children with involved fathers do better in school and score higher on IQ tests. This can be observed right from infancy. According to a 1991 study, infants whose dads were involved when they were as young as a month old had higher cognitive scores at age one. The same was reported for preterm babies at 36 months. Another study from the University of Pennsylvania indicated kids who had good relationships with their fathers were twice as likely to enter college.

This higher IQ capability has been attributed to the way fathers interact with their children, especially roughhousing, which teaches kids to think on their own. Additionally, since fathers don’t spend much time with their kids, they are usually not aware of their child’s verbal development. They will, therefore, unlike mothers, who will stick to the words their child knows, speak unfamiliar words. This, in turn, teaches the young one new vocabulary and concepts, which plays a crucial role in enhancing their intellect.

Financial Stability

The habits that fathers can provide include simple things such as clipping coupons, saving money, responsible spending, and when age-appropriate, investing using available investment tools such as Finviz or other money management apps and websites.

Fathers play a key role in shaping their children’s financial life, according to CNBC. They do this in two ways. One, they provide financial support at home. Kids from households with fathers or father figures are less likely to be poor, according to a report by the US Department of Health. Two, dads teach their kids good financial habits that are instrumental in achieving financial success.

Better Social Relations

A paternal presence encourages children to have healthy social development. Kids with estranged fathers have a harder time making friends and are less popular in school as per the book, Do Father’s Matter. This is because children lean on their dads when it comes to developing social skills. They learn to respect sexes by seeing how you interact with their mother. Additionally, kids with involved dads are more empathic, compassionate, and have higher emotional IQ.

All Round Development

A paternal presence introduces a much needed and different style of parenting. Moms and dads have very different parenting skills. Kids need parenting differences to develop properly. Mothers tend to focus on a child’s safety and well-being. Dads, on the other hand, encourage risk-taking. They provide a much-needed versatility in social experiences. They play rougher and slower to respond to a child experiencing frustration, which consequently teaches them independence, not to mention problem-solving skills.

They can be better at teaching some things like swimming, thanks to the fact that they are less overprotective than mothers. While mothers emphasize equity, dads encourage healthy competition, which helps the kids grow. Dads foster independence and prepare kids for the challenges of life. They teach justice, duty, discipline, and objectivity. All these things help kids deal with the frustrations of everyday life as they grow.

Positive Moral Behavior

A study carried out by researchers from the University of Pennsylvania revealed that a good father-child relationship reduces teenage pregnancies by 75%. If you are involved with your child, you are much more likely to know who they are interacting with, maybe what they are up to as well. They might also be more open to speak about their relationships with you and come to you for advice. Dads can help their daughters take fewer sexual risks by being present.

A survey by the Department of Justice also indicated that kids with dads are less likely to wind up in jail. The same survey showed that more than half of the 14,000 participants were from single mom households. These studies prove that dads have an enormous influence on shaping their kids’ moral behavior. They are supposed to play a key role in teaching the consequences of doing good and bad. They should also provide protection and teach their kids a sense of self-worth and importance by treating them like they are invaluable.

Important Things to Note as You Interact With Your Child

Other benefits of a warm and loving paternal presence include the ability to use humor, better adjustment to life, and a greater capability to enjoy life and be present. It is, however, crucial to note that while spending time with your child is essential, the quality of the time you spend together is more important than the amount of time you do. Also, if you cannot be physically present, make a point of writing letters or calling your kids so that they can still feel your involvement in their lives.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: dad, dads, father, Father Effect, fatherhood, Involved in Your Child's Life, parent, parenting

Family Finance: How To Cope In Difficult Times

March 24, 2020 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Family life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s hard. Sometimes, it’s extremely hard. Of course, it’s also very rewarding – raising a family is probably the best thing that you will ever do. However, that doesn’t mean that managing is always easy – there are times throughout family life when it can seem a lot harder than during other periods. It’s important to know – that is entirely normal. 

Life has this way of throwing curveballs at us when we least expect it, doesn’t it? Sometimes, all it can take is one ‘curveball’ and it can feel like everything is falling apart. Knowing how to manage when this happens can seem tricky. However, there’s always a solution – it’s just a case of finding it, that’s all. 

If you and your family are struggling financially, it can feel like the end of the world. It’s extremely stressful when things don’t go right with your finances, but the fact is that you can remedy the problem, and you can learn to cope with the situation at hand. It’s just a case of learning what steps you need to take and how you can become more creative with your approach to finance. 

walking on a beach

Photo source: Pixabay

For everything that you should know about making your money spread a little further during turbulent times, have a read of the tips and ideas below!

 

Learn to cook more economically 

A great way to cut your family’s spending costs is to get creative when it comes to how you cook. The fact is that often, the cost of family shopping can be extremely expensive, which is where a lot of your monthly income can end up going – on pricey food. However, the good news is that when it comes to your monthly income, it is possible to reduce the amount that you are spending on cooking. It’s just a case of learning to cook in a more economic way. 

This means thinking about how you are cooking; and being mindful of what is going into each meal. There are plenty of budget-friendly recipes that you can opt to take advantage of – many of which are free and available online. You can also find a number of budget-friendly recipe Facebook groups to join, where people share daily ideas for keeping cooking cost-effective. 

A great hack for cutting costs is to go part vegetarian; cooking with vegetables instead of meat will significantly help to cut your cooking costs. Aim to cook at least three vegetarian meal a week, to help reduce your weekly shopping costs. 

 

Take advantage of budgeting apps 

When it comes to budgeting, learning how to start budgeting isn’t always an easy task. There’s a lot that you need to take into account and a lot that you need to consider; which is what can make budgeting a little complex when you first start out. 

However, the good news is that there are plenty of budgeting apps on hand to help make the process of learning to budget, a little easier and less stressful. These apps are designed to make the process of only spending what you really need to, far simpler and easier. All you need to do is input your income and outgoings and you can workout what you have spare each month to use for food shopping and other necessities.

There are a number of different budgeting apps to choose from, each of which offers a range of features – it may take a while to find the budgeting app that works best for you but it’s worth taking the time to do so. Some of the most popular budgeting apps include Bean and Dashboard – however there are plenty of others to choose from too.  

 

Utilize voucher codes 

A great way to cut costs when it comes to your family spending is to take advantage of voucher apps and websites, such as NetVoucherCodes.co.uk, for example. Here you can find a wide range of deals and discounts that should help to cut your family spending costs and keep prices low, to help make your money spread that little bit further. 

A great routine to get into is, whenever you need to replace an item, such as your mop or broom, for instance, instead of going out and buying one right away, take the time to source the cheapest option, without compromising on quality, of course. Voucher code websites and apps can help to make this process easier; ensuring that whenever you buy anything, you’re getting it for the best price possible. 

Just make sure that before you purchase an item that’s discounted, that you read the reviews of that item. This is important for ensuring that the item you are buying is of a good quality, and won’t be a purchase that you will live to regret. 

money

Photo from Pixabay

Don’t be afraid to buy pre-loved 

There’s often a stigma around buying pre-loved items, however there really shouldn’t be. Whether you’re in need of new household furniture or your children’s wardrobes need updating, opting to buy second-hand can be a great way to pay a quarter of the price you would need to pay brand new. 

By choosing to buy second-hand, you can save yourself a lot of money, and ensure that you aren’t overspending or leaving your family short of funds for other things. Wherever you can cut costs and save money, you should do. Don’t be embarrassed to buy second-hand, it’s not only a great way to cut costs but also a good step to take to help lead a more environmental life. 

There are lots of places that you can buy second-hand items from, from eBay to Facebook MarketPlace, as well as within various Facebook selling groups. Just make sure that before you buy anything, you are able to see it and inspect it, to make sure that you aren’t being ripped off. 

 

Adopt a ‘make do and mend’ approach wherever possible 

We live in a world where, far too often, if something is damaged we simply throw it away and fail to replace it. However, if you want to cut costs and reduce waste, then learning how to make do and mend old items that are failing to work properly anymore is vital. 

When it comes to fixing household items – whether it’s your washing machine or a broken chair – there are plenty of tutorials on YouTube and other sites that guide you through the process of fixing various items.

You could even get your kids involved in the fixing process, teaching them a number of key skills for later life. 

 

Source extra income opportunities 

It’s also a good idea to consider looking out for extra income opportunities; as by adding to your income, you can help to ensure that your finances are able to stretch a little further each month. There are lots of ways that you can earn  an extra income from home, it’s just a case of working out what would work best for you. 

You could opt to do some freelance work in your sector or choice, or you could consider doing something a little bit different. There’s also the option of completing online surveys for cash payouts. There are a wide number of options to consider. 

There you have it, a few useful tips for how you can make coping in difficult financial times a little easier and less stressful. Getting used to being careful with money isn’t always an easy task, but once you’ve adapted to the changes, it can make life far simpler and easier. 

 

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: father, fatherhood, finance, finances, money, parenting, saving money, tips for dads, tips for fathers

Correctly Helping Mold The Passionate Interests Of Your Child

November 20, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Correctly Helping Mold The Passionate Interests Of Your Child

There are almost as many parenting styles as there are parents to have children. Of course, not all are good, or even valid. Many parents that care for raising their child in the most supportive context may grimace when they see beauty pageant parents making their child ‘look beautiful’ and chastising them when they fail to win a competition. We see an overly enthusiastic father trying to live through his son’s or daughter’s sports career, and think that this in itself is terrible parenting. Of course, we cannot know the full story, but having reservations about that can seem right.

 

But while it’s very easy to see just what we do not like in others, especially when it comes to the treatment of children or teenagers, how can we provide a necessary counterpoint, to overcompensate for this by guiding your child in the healthiest possible manner? Perhaps this is best illustrated by how a parent helps their child of about 12-17 consider their future as a late teenager or young adult. At this age, children begin to express an interest in something, and while this can change, interest and passion are two things alway worthy of encouraging.

 

Here’s what healthy handling of this may look like:

 

Do Not Force Them Down That Path

Even if your child finds something incredibly interesting and alluring, there’s no guarantee they will find it that way forever. By all means, be sure to help them explore it, but when you start defining your child by this select interest, you can have a real problem. This is why allowing them to explore that path and giving them a manner in which to appreciate it can be important, but forcing them in that direction is never okay. After all, a child can naturally develop their interests when you also give them time to, not when it becomes something they must do.

 

We can use an example for this, although of course, like most examples, it is not a universal rule. When scheduled to take instrumental lessons at school, it can be that lugging around heavy instruments at school, or having to attend in their lunch break, or being forced to attend band practice can lead them to feel like this interest is being artificially constricted, even if they make progress. But taking them to see an instructor after school in a private setting? They may flourish in that environment where force is not needed.

 

Guide Them Carefully, But Thoroughly

Even when your child or teen finds something interesting, it’s very easy for them to feel disheartened. For example, if they try sports and fail to ever score or adapt in certain ways, or if they struggle to meet a worthwhile challenge, or if they’re just not aware of the best approach going forward, it can be easy for them to feel somewhat as if this is not for them.

 

However, it can also be that looking at the practice in a new light may help them understand the best approach. For example, if they wish to learn martial arts, perhaps judo is not something they enjoy. However, Karate might be something they love, or maybe even boxing gives them that tactical interest they’re looking for. It’s okay if they bounce off their interest or struggle with it, as long as they take a thorough approach to it, and you can guide them in this direction.

 

Show Them Their Options

Taking the time to explore their options and potential routes forward may motivate them to take this up as a hobby they love, rather than something they feel is a ‘side interest’. For example, it might amaze your teen to understand that US pilot studies and aviation degrees can be applied for, and that the best services help educate you as to your options. This is a very real, lucrative career path, and though the entrance requirements are picky and it will take plenty of work, showing your child that this is possible can be all the news they need to make this a real ambition of theirs.

 

After all, isn’t guiding your child, no matter how old, towards something they love and enjoy always the best responsibility of a parent outside of love and protection? Additionally, if they begin to find a lofty goal such as this something to aim at, allow them to feel this is a possibility. It may nurture an ambition they might not have known they had.

 

Invest In Their Interests

Of course, as a parent, it’s important to help your teen invest in the things they love or wish to develop. If a child is showing a very keen interest and dedication learning guitar, for example, driving them to lessons, purchasing them a guitar for their birthday, perhaps helping them bid for that electric guitar and amp on eBay, or allowing them to practice and fail until success night after night is the loving support you give that can nurture their interest.

 

Think of just how many parents have chastised their children for trying to learn an instrument like a violin but playing poorly (as with the case with all beginners). The child will feel disheartened, and unlikely to continue. Who knows if they’ll try and follow a similar passion with as much interest and zeal as before? That would be a tragedy, but unfortunately, it will have happened somewhere the world. Learn from this bad example and understand that there are more important things than not listening to bad violin or its equivalent for an hour each night. Of course, if your child is practising martial arts moves on their younger siblings, that’s another story entirely. There’s nuance here.

 

Encourage & Support Them

Sometimes, a little word of encouragement can be enough to help a child keep at something. Perhaps despite their best efforts their team have failed to win the interschool trophy this year. That’s fine. There are more important things than being successful, such as having good sportsmanship, persevering, training to get better, trying to play as a team, and showing up to practice each day.

 

Encouragement can be a very worthwhile approach should you apply it in the right way. Of course, be sure that this is rational. If you praise your child for everything they do, they will not feel like they tried, or that they need to try. If you praise them for when they do try, or when they go all out, or when they go for something new, that shows you are watching them correctly, and are genuinely happy for them. There’s nothing quite like a child feeling as though they’re making their parents proud, and so giving them that compliment when necessary can help them take that extra step on the journey and see something through, provided it is well placed.

 

Allow Them To Change Or Try Something New

It might be that your child has played the violin for the last five years, and have played at many local concerts. Perhaps they have achieved a certain competence and skill in their grading. Perhaps now they are happy with their progress, and wish to try something new. Allow them to do that, and to start as a beginner all over again. Do not force them on one path. After all, they will be a beginner in so many areas of life and have to learn that it’s important for them to internalize those lessons now.

 

With this advice, you’re certain to help correctly mold the passionate interests of your child.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: dad, dads, father, fatherhood, kids, mold, molding, parent, parenting

Tips for Prepping Your Kid’s New Room

August 22, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Tips for Prepping Your Kid’s New Room

However much you don’t want them to grow up, there’s inevitably going to come a time when your kids are going to want to swap their pink painted walls or Thomas the Tank Engine cabin bed for posters of their favorite bands and furniture that isn’t painted in primary colors. Much like ripping a plaster off a wound, it’s often best to go in and do a makeover on their bedroom, transforming it all in one go rather than replacing things piecemeal.

Don’t reject their ideas

Tweens and young teens often have very clear ideas about what they want their grownup bedroom to look like, and the chances are it’s not going to be an exact match for what you have in mind. Rejecting their ideas out of hand isn’t the answer; instead, you need to be prepared to compromise, which will also give your child some useful knowledge on using negotiation skills.

As an example, one of the common points of contention between parents and children is when the child wants their room to be painted black. Unless you’re a bit of a goth yourself, you probably don’t want your kids to be living in a room that resembles a gloomy cave. However, there’s no reason why they couldn’t have a black feature wall that would be easy enough to paint over when they got tired of it, or they could choose soft furnishings in black, which will look stylish anyway but are easy to change when the time comes.

Think about the layout

When you and your child are designing the layout, make sure there’s space for a full-size bed and a study area. If they like their games, you could make a separate gaming area or simply design the study area, so it’s dual purpose. Decide on the bedroom essentials first, then see what space you have left for other features. There are some extremely clever space-saving storage solutions available now that can give your child everything they need even in a small bedroom.

Involve your child

Make sure your child is involved at every stage, from planning and design to starting work, decorating, and getting everything back in. For one thing, they’re more likely to appreciate the effort involved, and for another, they need to feel invested in how their room looks. It’s important that your child likes their room and feels safe and secure. They’re just starting out on some of the most testing few years of their life, and having a sanctuary is going to be very important for them.

Declutter

Once you’ve decided on the layout and décor, you can start taking everything out of the room ready for the makeover to begin. This is a great opportunity for some serious decluttering, but make sure you work with your child, so you don’t throw out anything particularly precious! Toys and clothes that they’ve grown out of can be donated to charity, or you could try selling them to help fund the makeover. Give the empty room a thorough deep clean, and then you’re ready to begin.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: kids, kids room, parenting, parents

Keep These Things in Mind when Having a Child

July 15, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Keep These Things in Mind when Having a Child

Having a kid can be a very scary prospect for some people. You are bringing in an entirely new person into the world, and are expected to care for it for around two decades. Despite being a scary commitment, it’s still a wonderful process. There is nothing quite like a parent’s love for their child, as it is truly a magical thing. In addition, being well prepared for having a child can make the entire process much easier and stress free. However, there are many things that potential parents may not prepare for or even know about parenting. Here are some lesser known things that you might want to prepare for before you have a child.

 

Time and Commitment

Having a child requires a lot of time and commitment and could take away from other areas in your life. When they are young they will need to be watched at all times. In addition, they need to be fed, clothed, comforted, cleaned, and put to bed. This is something that will take a lot of time and commitment and will likely require help from your partner or other family members. As the child gets older and goes off to school the time and commitment that is required becomes less, but it is still significant. You will still have to provide them with food and care, but they will gain some semblance of independence. However, as they grow up they will become more involved in school and other extracurricular activities. This means that you’ll have to spend a lot of time doing things like helping them with their homework or driving them to their sporting events. If you’re at a stage in your life where you can’t afford to give up a lot of time quite yet, then perhaps the decision to have a child should wait.

 

Money

One of the biggest things that people don’t realize about having a child is exactly how expensive it is. Raising a child from birth to adulthood could end up costing you hundreds of thousands of dollars. These costs include but aren’t limited to: food, clothing, healthcare, entertainment, and education. In addition, having a child may cause you to take an extended leave from work or even put you entire career on hold. This is something that could be very costly and could have a great effect on your finances. Finally, having a child may cause you to want to move to a bigger home or safer area. You want your child to be set up for success, so you may want to move to an area with less crime or an area closer to a nicer school district. This means you may have to make a change from something like a rural area to a Boston suburb or one of the Cincinnati townhouses. This move could be quite costly and is only a fraction of the total cost of having a child. If you’re not financially stable, then perhaps you aren’t ready for a child.

 

Social Consequences

One thing that you might not consider when having a kid is the social consequences that could come with it. As mentioned before, a child takes a lot of time, effort, and commitment in order to be cared for. This means that the majority of your time will be spent with your family and raising your kids, which in turn will cause your social life to suffer. For some, this won’t be that big of a deal. However, if you’re still relatively young when you have your first child or are an extremely outgoing and social person, then you will likely be in for a drastic change. After having a child, you won’t be able to go out nearly as often, which could lead to some estranged relationships with friends. Friends without kids might become confused or won’t understand the time commitment that proper child care demands.

 

Growing Pains

One of the lesser known things about having a child is the growing pains that accompany it. No, we’re not talking about physical growing pains, but rather the mental pains that come with adapting to your new situation. There is now a completely new person in your life that demands all of your love and attention. You may have to skip sleep or meals just to ensure that your child is healthy or comforted. For a little while you may compare what your life was like before childbirth to what it’s like after childbirth. This is completely normal and does not make you a bad parent! As you adjust and adapt to your new situation you’ll be happier than ever! However, the first few months of adapting can be a little rough, so just be wary about that.

 

Physical Changes

For women, the physical changes that accompany childbirth may be one of the biggest side effects of having a child. Pregnancy can be very rough on your body, and it can trigger a lot of changes. You may find yourself struggling to lose weight that you may have gained after childbirth, simply because the physical changes that have occurred in your body makes it more difficult. In addition, having a child is very stressful which could cause you to turn to things such as overeating to cope. Finally, as discussed before having a child will take a lot of time and commitment from other areas of your life. This means that you likely will not have as much time to exercise and take care of your body as you did previously. All these factors could cause a lot of physical changes in your body, making for a drastic physical change after childbirth.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: dad, dads, father, fatherhood, having kids, kids, parent, parenting, parents

Resources for Dads of Teenagers

June 18, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Resources for Dads of Teenagers

Being a dad is a job that never ends. Every stage of your child’s development brings its own challenges, and you’ll probably never be fully prepared for them. One stage that parents everywhere are holding their breath for is that if the teenage years. This is when your not so little kids reach adolescence, and you have to start rediscovering them all over again. Nevertheless, it’s a phase that will pass, but it’s crucial you develop a trusting relationship with them the best you can. Below are a few resources for dads of teenagers.

 

Puberty

One of the things you’re going to need to think about is how to support them through puberty phases. This can be a scary time for both you and your teen, so being equipped with the right resources is a must. Every teen experiences puberty differently, meaning there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach.

 

Parents: You should know that you’re one of the best resources for your kids when it comes to learning about puberty. When talking to them about puberty, remember to start as early as possible, especially before they start reading and seeing information on the internet. For girls, make sure you prep them before their period comes, so they know what to expect. For boys, it may be helpful if you explain to him both about his body and emotional changes.

 

Books: Aside from sitting down and having the talk with your teens, giving them books to read on puberty could help significantly too. Some helpful books for girls include Period, A Girl’s Guide to Menstruation, and The Period Book. For boys, Secret Men’s Business by John Marsden and What’s Happening to Me? By Alex Frith are options to consider.

 

Drug Abuse

Although no parent wants to think about their child taking drugs, it’s a reality many are battling with. You can’t be with your kids around the clock, but you can educate them on the drugs out there and the implications of using them.

 

Online Resources: When it comes to drug abuse, your teens won’t always be forthcoming and tell you that they’re struggling. Start by educating yourself on the signs of drug abuse so you can identify changes in their behavior.

 

Rehab: You should have knowledge of rehabs near you just in case you ever need it.

If you live in the Georgia area, then look for a drug rehab in Georgia as they can offer personalized treatment and medically assisted detox.

 

Bullying

Another common challenge that teenagers have to deal with is bullying. If they’re having challenges such as acne, being unusually tall, or having a body odor, for instance, it could cause bullying from other kids.

 

Therapy: If your teen is a victim of bullying, think about getting them a therapist. They can help with anything from bullying to school problems or anger. In a therapy session, they could end up talking, solve problems, or do activities.

 

Online Resources: There is a range of online resources you can use to educate yourself about bullying so that you can support your teen. The Bully Project, for instance, has action toolkits and tips for how you can get the school involved. KidsHealth also has extensive information that could help.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: father, fatherhood, parenting, parents, pparenting resources, teen, teenagers, teens

Helping Your Child Cope After an Accident

May 17, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Tips to Help You Recover After a Car Accident

Car accidents are traumatic for anyone involved, but particularly for children. Not only will they have their own injuries to cope with, but they’ve also got to experience their caregivers being injured. Children need their parents for safety and security and seeing them injured can make them feel insecure. If your child is involved in a car accident, they’re going to need your help to recover. Here are a few ways you can help them get back on track.

  • Look Out for Signs of Trauma

Not all children react to such an experience in the same way. Some will be able to shrug it off quite quickly, while others may take a long time to recover. As a parent, you need to be vigilant for signs that your child is not recovering from the trauma. For younger children, it can be a return to more infantile behavior such as bed-wetting and sucking their thumb. If your children are older symptoms can include nightmares, headaches, behavior problems and symptoms of depression.

  • Be a Good Listener

It’s important for you to offer support by being a good listener. You might think your child doesn’t understand what’s happening to them, but if you take the time to listen to their concerns, they might surprise you. By talking about what happened and how they’re feeling, you will be helping their recovery.

  • Watch for Signs of PTSD

PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is something your child can develop following an accident, so it’s important you look out for the signs. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares or anxiety. Let them know it’s nothing to worry about and is a normal reaction to trauma while at the same time encouraging them to get back to their normal routine. It’s also important for you to understand that they might not recover without additional therapy and you can make sure they receive it.

  • Get Legal Help

Your child may need professional counseling or therapy, and they may also need medical care to help them recover from their injuries, all of which are very expensive. You might be entitled to claim for compensation, in which case you’re going to need legal help. If you want to know more about making a compensation claim for whiplash or any other injury visit www.the-compensation-experts.co.uk.

  • Look After Yourself

Your child may be feeling distressed after the accident, but you’re going to be feeling it too. You’re going to be better prepared to help your child’s recovery if you pay attention to your own feelings and reactions. Take positive steps to take care of yourself such as seeking support from friends, family, and professionals. Find time to relax, exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet and make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

 

It is possible for children to recover from the trauma of an accident as long as they’ve got the love and support of those around them. Sometimes all that’s required is for someone to listen. There are, however, instances when a little more support is required in the form of mental health therapy. Don’t be afraid to reach out for external help when your child has been involved in an accident. Getting help from outside the family can speed up recovery times.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: accident, car accident, father, fatherhood, health, parenting, recovery, tips

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