lessons Archives - Dad of Divas

College is both an exciting and frightening stage for both parents and children. The best thing we can do as a parent during this time is offer our knowledge and insight on how to take on these exciting years to contribute to the already good head on our children’s shoulders.

These are six lessons to teach your daughter before she leaves for college:

Never allow anyone into your life that fails to meet your standards

Develop relationships with people who not only have your best interest in mind but theirs as well. Your social circle should be comprised of individuals that positively influence one another, share your values, and will always be friends you can rely on until the end of time. Don’t waste your time on people who are shallow, unmotivated, and unsure of themselves; their energy and attitudes will only bring you down with them.

Invest time into maintaining your emotional and physical well-being

The most important relationship in this world is the one you have with yourself. Putting time into your emotional and physical well-being is necessary since doing so keeps you grounded and clearheaded, decompresses stress and anxiety levels, and enables you to come back to center with yourself. With that said – love yourself, take more time to be in solitude, and explore all the classes and hobbies that interest you!

Put in the hard work, effort, and sacrifice into the goals you wish to accomplish

You will never get things done unless you take action. In the words of Manoj Arora, “You will either find a way, or an excuse.” Don’t expect to suddenly wake up one day and have everything fall into place. That attitude breeds a sense of entitlement towards success which prevents you from being motivated to take steps forward or accomplish goals wholeheartedly.

Trial and error is important, and should not be feared or resisted

No one is perfect, and trying to meet a standard that doesn’t exist is only a waste of time and energy. Embrace the fact that you will make mistakes, fail, and be disappointed – you’re human. What matters at the end of the day is that you get up back up again instead of criticizing yourself for things that already happened or cannot change. See your mistakes as learning experiences instead of setbacks.

Say “no” to the things that make you uncomfortable

College will open your doors up to new experiences – especially parties, concerts and music festivals. Since attending these events may interest you, please be safe! Say no to drugs such as ecstasy or LSD. They completely warp your sense of reality, thus leaving you in a vulnerable state where you might unintentionally injure yourself or be taken advantage of by another person.

Plan for the future

When you’re young, you feel like you have all the time in the world. However, while you may feel that way – it is imperative for you to be diligent about mapping out a game plan for your future, save money, and have a general idea of where you want to go with your career. You don’t need to have your entire life figured out by any means because no one can predict all that! Instead, focus on what matters most in adulthood: financial and professional security. These things determine the quality of your life for the next few years.

Because college is an incredible time of independence and exploration of one’s interests and abilities, preparing our daughters to take it on is the best gift we could give them. When your little girl finally leaves for college, you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that she has the six lessons mentioned above to rely on.

The Most Important First Lessons For Kids

When we think of our role as parents, we all know we need to do more than just provide food, clothing, and shelter. Indeed, one of the things we pride ourselves on as parents is when we’ve taught our kids important life lessons that will serve them well as they grow up.

From the time our kids are old enough to understand, we are teaching them–intentionally or unintentionally. With our words and our actions, we are showing them what we think is the best way to live life.

As we think about the deliberate lessons we should share with our kids, we can frame things up in a few key areas that will benefit them the most. Stick with age-appropriate topics within these major topics:

Personal Security

There is probably no more fundamental childhood lesson than “Don’t talk to strangers”. It is an easy point to emphasize with kids, especially since they already have a reluctance to interact with people they don’t know.

But strangers are found in many different ways these days. It’s no longer just the smiling man driving up to ask for directions. Strangers now can show up on social media, chat rooms, and even email, often portraying themselves as someone the child would have no reason to fear.

It can be intimidating to think of all the new ways there are for predators to approach our children. The good news is that there are also new ways to protect them. Kids who grew up in the ’60s and ’70s didn’t have access to protection like Black Hat Security, which can thoroughly fortify the home physically. They didn’t have the safeguards of apps that monitor their interaction with people outside the home. So while the threat has evolved, the options to address it have evolved as well.

Healthy Lifestyle

Lessons on safety are usually best taught overtly, with direct lessons to your kids about what to do and what not to do. But other lessons are usually most effectively shared by example, and choices about a healthy lifestyle are a good example.

Kids learn a lot by imitation. If their parents and older siblings do things a certain way, they’re likely to follow suit. So if they see Mom and Dad smoking, eating a poor diet, and not getting enough exercise, they will do the same. Indeed, kids have no choice but to eat junk food when that’s what their families buy, and even if they don’t take up smoking themselves, their parents’ tobacco use can affect their health as well.

So while it does help your kids’ health to tell them what to do, it’s definitely more important to live a healthy lifestyle yourself. Not only will your kids learn how to take care of themselves, they’ll also get to have more years with healthy, active parents.

Smart Finances

We tend to think of money as a lesson for older kids, but the fact is that the sooner kids understand the value of money, the sooner they’ll develop sustainable habits for themselves.

It’s true that the more complex lessons are best saved for the teenage years, but we can teach things to our youngest kids that will help them throughout life. Very young kids can understand the idea of interest, both paid and earned. They need to know that a credit card is a way to spend money conveniently, but that it’s a very expensive tool if it’s not paid off immediately.

They need to know about saving. Show them that when you have to make large expenditures, you’re able to do so because you’ve been setting money aside. And show them that you have to spend some money; it does no good to teach them to fill the piggy bank without ever teaching them how to spend wisely from what they’ve accumulated. They’ll learn to differentiate between wants and needs, and they’ll learn the value of saving by feeling the impact of spending.

Our role as teachers to our kids is critical. We don’t need to wait until they reach a certain age. They are always learning from us, and it’s our job to make sure they are learning the right things.