independent daughters Archives

Building Lasting Bonds: Intentional Fatherhood with John Azoni

September 7, 2026 by dadofdivas

If you’re a dad on a mission to forge a lasting, meaningful bond with your daughter, “The Dad and Daughter Connection” should be your next podcast download. In a recent episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with John Azoni, a father of two daughters (ages 9 and 11), who opens up about the real joys and sometimes messy challenges of raising confident, independent girls.

Intentionality and Presence
From the very start, Dr. Christopher Lewis sets the tone: fatherhood isn’t about achieving perfection, but about truly connecting and learning as you go. Each week, the podcast dives into stories and practical advice to help dads show up with intention. As John Azoni shares, “There’s no one right way to father our daughters,” but we can always add new tools to our toolbox by learning from each other.

Creating Meaningful Memories
A standout theme of this episode is making memories, both big and small. John Azoni recounts an unforgettable trip to Japan with his daughter for her 10th birthday—a tradition inspired by a parenting book. But the heart of the conversation reveals that it’s often the simplest moments, like cooking together or going for wonton soup every Thursday, that mean the most. One-on-one time, even a half hour at bedtime, can become the foundation for lifelong connections.

Honesty, Growth, and Mistakes
Both John Azoni and Dr. Christopher Lewis candidly discuss the challenges—especially during difficult times like COVID or navigating questions around faith. John Azoni is honest about making mistakes, from losing patience to not always having the answers. The key lesson? “I make a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned to be okay with that… I want my kids to grow up and know their dad was crazy about them.”

Encouragement to Other Dads
The episode wraps with powerful advice: Be intentional. Don’t let stress distract you from what really matters. As John Azoni puts it, “The grass is greener where you water it”—the relationships you invest in now will shape the future.

If you’re a dad, or know someone who is, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a heartfelt reminder that showing up, being present, and embracing imperfection are the real keys to building an unbreakable bond with your daughter.

Listen to the full episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection to get inspired and start your journey toward a stronger relationship today!

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TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to connect with one another and work on building those that we want with our daughters one day at a time. I love that you come back every week because all of us are on a journey. Whether you have toddlers, whether you have a baby at home, whether you have teenagers at home, whether you have adult kids, we all are on this continuum of being a father to a daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:19]:
And we can always learn more. We can always learn more to help us to be able to be better in the role that we have. We’re gonna stumble, we’re gonna fall, That’s okay. All of us do it. There’s no one right way to father our daughters. But what we can do is we can learn from other dads what’s working for them, what’s not working for them, and build some tools for our own toolbox, add some tools for our own toolbox, and be able to get just that much better every day because that’s what we need to be doing. to be able to be there for our daughters. That’s what we need to be doing to be able to be present.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:59]:
And I am really excited to have another new guest this week. John Azoni is with us today, and John’s a father of 2 daughters who are 9 and 11. And we’re gonna be talking about the journey that he’s been on with his daughters. And I’m really excited to have him here today. John, thanks so much for being here.

John Azoni [00:02:15]:
Thanks for having me. It’s great to be here.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
You know, it’s really, I’m really excited to be able to have you here today and to be able to talk to you about the journey that you have been on thus far with your daughters. And I guess one of the things that I always think about when it comes to raising our daughters is we’re always running after those moments. We want those moments with our kids. And as you think back to the years that you’ve had with your daughters thus far, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with them and what made it so special? And one thing I’ll add is they could be separate moments as well.

John Azoni [00:02:49]:
So I read this book a number of years ago called Love Does. The author is Bob Goff and it’s a faith-based book. And in it, he talks a lot about parenting. parenting. And he told the story of taking his kids when they turned 10 on a trip anywhere in the world they want to go to, really leaning into what is it that they are becoming, what is it that they’re interested in, and, and where can we go in the world to kind of deepen that. And so I always thought that that was a cool idea. And my daughter, when she turned 10 last year, my daughter Ellie, in my mind I was kind of like maybe somewhere in the United States. I don’t remember explicitly saying anywhere in the world.

John Azoni [00:03:25]:
So when my daughter was like, I want to go to Japan, I was like, oh, okay. Well, so after a lot of hemming and hawing, I talked to my wife. She’s like, just do it. It’s like once in a lifetime. We’re like, all right, we’re going to Japan. So, so we went to Tokyo last May and it was so cool just to learn about another culture together, to really press into, you know, the stuff that she likes. She’s really into K-pop. It’s obviously not in Korea, but somewhere over there.

John Azoni [00:03:54]:
She’s into that kind of Asian culture and Hello Kitty. And they have the biggest Hello Kitty store in the world there, uh, video games and arcades where she can and do all the— she loves playing those claw games, which are really popular in Asian countries. So, so it was great. I mean, we just traveled around, we ate good food, we went to Paris Disney, um, and just spent a week together. That— and, and even just like, it was a pretty short trip, but— and people were like, well, you’re just going for like 5 days? Like, aren’t you gonna be— I mean, like, a big part of that is just traveling, you know? By the time you get there, I think we had 3 full days there. And I was just like, you know, it’s, it’s the adventure. It’s like traveling is, is part of it. We’re gonna learn how to do the airport together.

John Azoni [00:04:30]:
So on the way there, I kind of led the charge, but on the way back I was like, All right, where do you think we should turn to get to baggage claim or stuff like that? Or where do you think we should go to get our bags checked? So that was fun. And, you know, I’ve had other special experiences with my youngest daughter, Ryland. Currently though, we’re planning her trip. She wants to go to Paris. So we’re planning on going to Paris next year.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:50]:
Those will be experiences that they will never forget. And definitely you don’t have to do these huge moments. They can be small moments as well. But I had an experience like that last year with my oldest who is in college, but she was out in Colorado and I picked her up from a camp she was working in and we spent a week going to all the national parks all around in that area. So we went to Zion and Bryce and Grand Canyon and Petrified Forest, all kinds of places. And we hiked and we just had an amazing experience. And I think when you have those opportunities, not only are they great opportunities to be able to have to build memories, but you have time one-on-one. And I think that’s even more important.

John Azoni [00:05:32]:
Yeah, one-on-one time is really special. So last weekend, my oldest daughter went to Florida with my wife because she does dance, and her dance group went to go perform at Disney in the parade. And so that was just a life dream of hers. And she got this one-on-one time with my wife. And previously, we were kind of like, all right, we’re Disney’d out. We’ve been to Disney World. We’ve been on a Disney cruise. I took Ellie to Disney in Tokyo.

John Azoni [00:05:58]:
And we’ve been to Disneyland when we went to California last year. And my wife was kind of like, all right, this is the last time I got to go to Disney. And then I get a text from her in the middle of it. She’s like, this is so great. It’s such a different experience being one-on-one with Ellie and we’re just having the best time. And at the same time, I’m home with Ryland and we had our own special weekend. We, you know, wrote on the whiteboard, here’s all the things we wanna do and we wanna schedule all these things out. Anytime you can write a list on a whiteboard for my youngest, she’s all about it.

John Azoni [00:06:27]:
She loves to just like have a checklist, have a plan. So one-on-one time is something completely different that you just cannot replace.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:33]:
Now you talked a little bit about on that trip to Tokyo, giving your daughter some independence to be able to make some decisions and things like that. And, and as our kids are getting older, we definitely have to do that. How are you finding that you’re balancing not only guiding your daughters, but also giving them the independence to grow into the people that they’re becoming?

John Azoni [00:06:52]:
Oh, that’s a tough question. I try to lean into who are they and what is, what is my role in this? Like one of the things that I learned about Ellie on that Japan trip is how scrappy she is. And it’s so different for me. Like she has no problem going up and asking a stranger where to get directions. Or one time we were on the bus going somewhere in Tokyo and some lady was lost. And for some reason my daughter stepped in and starts trying to tell her where to go as if she knows where to go. I’m like, Ellie, where do you think you’re sending her? She just wants to get in there. And I’m just very like, I don’t like to be embarrassed.

John Azoni [00:07:27]:
I don’t like to ask for help. I’m a lot more shy, but she kind of lifts me up in that way. I really try to get on that level with her and also just try to let her be who she is and go out into the world and just talk to new people like her mom does. But I think it’s always a challenge where to step in. I think the biggest area that we are struggling with that right now is, is in faith. And I don’t know if you’re a person of faith, but when I got married, my wife and I were both devout Christians. And over the last 5 years, I’ve kind of deconstructed and my faith has evolved in a way— I wouldn’t say I’m not a believer, but I would say like I just have so many questions that I’m allowing myself to ask. And I’m engaging in these conversations with what I grew up believing versus what can be verified and things like that.

John Azoni [00:08:13]:
So I’m kind of down this more scientific path. My wife isn’t. How do we let our kids discover things on their own? And what do we teach them about the world? That’s been really hard because when you’re defining your parenthood around an entire ideology, like a religion, and that’s the lens that you’re giving your kids, and that’s the lens you’re told to give your kids, you’re instructed to teach them in this way. Well, now when you throw questions into the mix, mom and dad have different answers for what do you do? So I think we’ve kind of landed on. We want our kids to think independently. And when one of my kids has a tough question, I’ll say, well, here’s what I think. Here’s what I’m not sure about. Like, here’s what I have questions about.

John Azoni [00:08:55]:
Here’s what your mom thinks. And you can kind of make up your own decision. And that was also never more true in, you know, this most recent election. You know, my oldest had a lot of questions about who was running for president, who was the good guy, and who was the bad guy. And it’s easy to want to pick a side and train your kid on that side. But we really tried to just step back and be like, well, Well, here’s what this side says. Here’s what that side says. What do you think? And so that’s kind of where we’ve landed, I think, giving them some scaffolding, but letting them kind of figure it out themselves.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:26]:
And as you’ve been starting to do that with your daughters, especially around this faith journey, what has their response been?

John Azoni [00:09:33]:
It’s tough because they knew me when we were all praying every night and putting them to bed and going to church all the time and, you know, all this stuff. And so they’ve seen me kind of drift and ask these questions that they look at me as I’m supposed to have the answers To these, you’re supposed to know if if Adam and Eve are real people or not. And so that’s been tough. You know, their response has been honestly one of confusion. I wish I had a glossy answer for you. It’s not gone great. It’s very tough to navigate. And like I said, you know, we just go back to like here’s what two different people can think, and we can hold two different things in tension.

John Azoni [00:10:11]:
And certainly the Bible, there are a lot of instances where the Bible is represented as God holding two. seemingly opposing things in tension together and somehow making it work. So we kind of go with that. But yeah, I wish I could tell you that it’s gone. It’s just been perfect. And they’re— they have all the answers that I don’t have. But anytime you’re trying to sort through something on your own and your kid’s looking to you for the answer, that’s just a tough position to be in.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:36]:
It is a tough place to be because, I mean, you try to have that solid front on everything in parenting because when you don’t have the solid front, then things tend to go awry. So I think what you’re hearing here, though, is that John and his wife still have a solid front, but they’re attacking it in different ways. And they’re providing their kids the ability to be able to move in the direction that makes more sense for them. That doesn’t mean that they’re not in alignment on other things in their parenting journey, though.

John Azoni [00:11:07]:
Yeah, I would liken it to, like, giving them— I mentioned the term scaffolding, and I really like that term. And I would just say, So we’ve just really widened the scaffolding around faith to where we’re still in this box. But what that looks like on a day-to-day basis or on an individual beliefs basis can look different. And 2 people can arrive at different conclusions and still have the same heart.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:31]:
So as you think about your daughters and you think about what you’ve been doing with your daughters, what are some intentional ways that you have worked to strengthen your bond with your daughters, especially during times that might be more challenging?

John Azoni [00:11:43]:
COVID was a time of obviously being sort of forced into this intentional time. And at first it was very stressful because at the time I had a salaried job and a certain amount of PTO days and I’m a rule follower. So if I say I’m working, but I’m off at the park with the kids, like I don’t, I don’t feel good about that. But like there was all this stuff that you had to do from out of necessity during that time. So it was a stressful time, but it also kind of caused me to be like, let’s really soak this up. And so we did a lot of stuff together as a family, but that actually led me to leave that job. and start my own company, my own video production company. And for a big reason was to be more flexible with them and to be able to be home with them and be there when they need me and not have to worry about PTO.

John Azoni [00:12:28]:
And so that’s opened the doors to a lot of great times where I might be right in the middle of a busy project and I would get a call from the school. And my oldest, Ellie, she was the one that would call home a lot. She would feel a stomachache or something and she’d feel like she needed to go home. And we would have to navigate like a lot of times, like, what is the line that Where Dad will pick you up and where you need to tough it out. But there’s a lot of times where I could have been really stressed about work, but I had to just really be like, you know what, I’m just— I’m gonna go pick her up. I’m gonna be happy about it. I’m gonna have a smile on my face. I’m gonna make her feel like Dad wants to be here.

John Azoni [00:13:01]:
Dad cares about me. He’s not annoyed with me. You know, I think just those small acts have been great. And I remember, you know, other times too, just a lot of our special times revolve around food.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:12]:
Yeah.

John Azoni [00:13:13]:
It seems like every Thursday, a number of years ago when Ellie was in preschool, she would have a half day. And so I’d pick her up and every Thursday we’d go get wonton soup on the way home at this Chinese restaurant. And we learned— Dad stepped out of his comfort zone and learned the owner of the restaurant’s name so that when we called, we can say, hey, Lynn, our usual. She wanted that. Like, that would just be so cool. And so eventually she started calling and being like, hi, Lynn, it’s Ellie, just our usual. And then we’d go pick it up. But we cook a lot together too.

John Azoni [00:13:42]:
My daughters each really enjoy cooking and no matter what we’re making, just spending time together. And that’s where I think one-on-one time is really important because trying to cook with both of them at the same time is just a constant referee of who got to chop what, who got to pour this, who cracked the last egg, you know. So I found just one at a time, we’ll have a great time together, but let’s just, you know. So yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of opportunities, but I think it’s a lot in those small moments where it’s like my natural reaction might be to be stressed or just to be worried about the day-to-day. stuff, but like my daughters are looking to me as like, am I liked? Like, am I loved in this moment? Am I safe in this moment? Does my dad want to be here? And I really try to, to just put on a smile and just be like, you know what, this— because one of the things I say, I started saying since I started my own business was my business is in service of my kids, not in spite of them. And that’s a tough thing to, to stick to because whether or not something gets done has a very real consequences about whether, whether income comes in the door. But, but the reason why I— half the reason I started my own company was to be there for my kids and to not miss this time with them. And so, so yeah, that’s kind of how I think about work and spending time with them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:01]:
All of us as dads, we’re not perfect. We make mistakes. And while we try our best to be the best we can, we’re going to make mistakes. We’re fallible. We’re humans. What’s a mistake that you made as a father? And what did What did it do, or what did you learn from it about fostering positive communication and connection with your daughters?

John Azoni [00:15:20]:
I think it’s a pattern of mistakes. And when I get overstimulated, when there’s too many people talking to me at once, I get immediate, like 0 to 100 stressed out. And that’s— I’m so likely to just lash out and like snap and say something, tell them to be quiet, but in a rude way that we’re not allowed to say. So that’s where it’s such a tension of like, because they’re both in the back talking like peak back-talking phase. And honestly, my youngest is the most cutting about it. I mean, she will just go right for the jugular. And they talk back usually as a reaction and not as a response, like not as an intentional response. So when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed and I lash out, I’m not doing any service to them.

John Azoni [00:16:06]:
It’s very hypocritical to tell them that’s not how we talk to people. And then just in a, in a different way or a different use of words, I do the same thing. So I think that’s— I think we’re all learning together. How to regulate ourselves. My wife is a therapist, and so we’ve learned a lot about the concept of regulation, and we’ve read a lot of parenting books about when your kids make you mad or something, or they say something completely disrespectful, they’re dysregulated. They’re not really choosing that response. And so your job as a parent is to be the one that regulates, not escalates. And so that’s— that is the toughest thing for me, like— I have to really think I’m feeling myself escalating this situation and I need to be the, I need to be the regulator.

John Azoni [00:16:50]:
So I don’t know if that answers your question, but that’s just a slurry of thoughts of, of communication between me and my kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:58]:
No, I appreciate you sharing that because I think it is important to understand that that happens. I mean, and we’re going to, things are going to adjust and, you know, and all of us get overwhelmed at times. And especially these days, there’s so many things being thrown at every one of us. And whether it’s technology, whether it’s, you know, whatever, there are so many things that are being thrown at each one of us, not only us, but our kids, etc. So it is important to know that. And then finding ways to be able to quiet the noise, not only for ourselves, but quiet the noise for our kids, I think is also important as we think about our— the way in which we’re fathering. Because if we know— if you know that you’re triggered when that happens, you have to figure out for yourself, and you’ve probably already done that, is What can you do to quiet the noise so that you can continue being present and continue, continue being who you want to be with your daughters?

John Azoni [00:17:51]:
Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:52]:
So there’s been a lot of things that you’ve talked about where you’re showing that you’re doing some intentional things to really connect with your daughters. What do you do intentionally to make your daughters feel valued and heard?

John Azoni [00:18:04]:
I think it’s just trying to get on their level and care about the things that they care about. My youngest, it’s always was so funny, and we, my wife and I laugh about this. We would pick her up from daycare when she was younger, you know, 3, 4 years old. And that could be a very stressful moment because we’re also picking up my oldest from daycare and she’s wanting to do something. Can we go out for ice cream? Or when’s mom going to be home? Blah, blah, blah. And again, too many people talking to me at once. And my youngest, all she wants to do in that moment is show me the drawings that she made and show me the little worksheets that she did. And it’s so important to her.

John Azoni [00:18:38]:
And she feels, you can just see the receiving of love when you look at her and you care about what she wrote, that she wrote her name or that she did something, that she wrote, she counted to 10 or whatever it is. And so, I mean, we have stacks and stacks of paper because that behavior has never stopped. She’s almost 9 and she still to this day wants to show us everything. She went to this art camp a couple weeks ago, made all kinds of art. And the first thing she wants to do when we get in the car is like, Dad, let me show you what I made. And it’s so important that I give her my full attention. And I can get on board with that because I’m— my background’s in fine arts. I’m a painter.

John Azoni [00:19:14]:
So I went to art school and all that stuff. So that’s a perfect thing for me to like get on board with. I think just, yeah, finding in those moments, what are they really trying to say right now? What they’re really trying to say is, Dad, I want to connect with you. Not like, not necessarily about the papers or the drawings or whatever. And I find that with my oldest too. She’s starting to outgrow like bedtime, but she still wants me to put her to bed. And, you know, and I’m kind of just like clinging to that for as long as possible. And we just have the best talks.

John Azoni [00:19:43]:
Like, there’s just no greater conversation than when we’re just— I’m just laying in her bed with her next to her and we’re just, just talking about whatever, just laughing about things. I mean, so much laughter happens in those moments. And I listen when I’m putting my other daughter to bed, my wife’s putting Ellie to bed, I hear them cracking up too because they just get into the funniest, you know, they just become a new person. They feel so safe. And so I think just being intentional about those moments, because sometimes I’m like, I’m tired, it’s 9:30, I got to get up at 5 in the morning. I don’t want to spend a half an hour, you know, laying, laying with you and waiting for you to brush your teeth and waiting for you to put your pajamas on. And it’s getting towards 10 o’clock now. And so I try, but I try to really push that aside and say, hey, she’s, she’s not going to ask me to do this for much longer.

John Azoni [00:20:29]:
And in 5 years, I’m going to miss any, any attention she gave me, like her wanting to actually hang out with me, because it’s going to be the other way around. So, so I think it’s just, I think it’s just recognizing in those moments what’s really most important and then just leaning into that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:45]:
Now, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our Dad Connection 6. 6 more questions to delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:52]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:53]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:56]:
Humor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:57]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you ever received?

John Azoni [00:21:02]:
It’s probably from when you’re walking around a grocery store and you get like a whole stream of like elderly men that will say, I remember when my daughter was that age and then she started driving the next day. Like, don’t miss it. I really actually took advice to heart, like what I just said. I’m like, there’s gonna be a time when they’re not gonna want to hang out with me, so don’t miss it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:20]:
What’s one activity you and your daughters love doing together?

John Azoni [00:21:24]:
Cooking.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:25]:
If you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

John Azoni [00:21:30]:
I think just don’t change for other people. Don’t be the person that you’re with. I think like maybe girls especially start dating and things like that, they want to change to be liked and to impress and things like that. And so I think my advice would just be to just be yourself and be What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad? I have learned, I have learned that I make a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned to be okay with that. I just want my kids to grow up and know that their dad was crazy about them. And for all my flaws, I want them to— I watched this video one time. It was my boss’s. We did a story on my boss at the time at my old job, his family.

John Azoni [00:22:11]:
And we interviewed his wife and they were talking about her parents and they asked her, what’s your favorite thing about your dad? And she said, said how much he loves me. And she started crying. And I edited that video. So of course, I’m like, I’m like tearing up and like, you know, you got the music going and stuff like that in the edit, in the video edit. So, but I’ve always kept that with me as like, that’s like my mantra as a dad. Like, I’m gonna mess up, but like, I want my kids to, to really feel and be imprinted with how like crazy I am about them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:39]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

John Azoni [00:22:48]:
I think it’s just being really intentional with them. I think for me, I just think about, it’s like we have 18 years if we’re lucky, and I want to build as many memories with them as possible. And I don’t want to waste this being stressed about stuff that’s just not going to matter in 50 years. And so, and I think about it the same way of like marriage advice. People contrast the saying of the grass is greener on the other side. side with, with saying the grass is greener where you water it. And I like that about marriage. And that’s something that I keep in my mind.

John Azoni [00:23:20]:
But I also think that that applies to kids too. I mean, the type of relationship that you’re going to have with your kids now and when they’re older is determined by how intentional you are in these early years and just watering that grass.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:34]:
Well, John, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here today, for sharing what you shared with the journey that you’ve gone through. If people want to find out more about you, I know you got a podcast. Is there a place that people can go to find out more?

John Azoni [00:23:46]:
Yeah, I’m very active on LinkedIn. My name’s spelled J-O-H-N-A-Z-O-N-I if you’re searching for me. That’s probably where I hang out the most, on LinkedIn. I don’t post a whole lot of family stuff, but once in a while you might get some sort of business advice through the lens of being a dad to 2 girls.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:00]:
Well, again, John, thank you so much for being here, and I wish you all the best.

John Azoni [00:24:03]:
Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:03]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:24:34]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals, we buy them presents. So bring your A-game, ’cause those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, Carpenters and muscle men, get out and be in the world too now. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Building Father-Daughter Connections Through Presence and Support

June 1, 2026 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Are you a dad striving to forge a deeper, lasting relationship with your daughter? The latest episode of the “Dad and Daughter Connection” podcast is a must-listen. Hosted by Dr. Christopher Lewis, this heartfelt conversation with guest Craig Parks spills over with practical wisdom, real-life stories, and a focus on the small moments that truly matter in father-daughter relationships.

A central theme in this episode is the extraordinary power of being present. Craig Parks reflects on the transition from seeking only “big moments” to cherishing the everyday interactions—whether it’s sharing a chat during the drive to school, game nights, or the simple rituals at bedtime. These small but consistent acts of presence, he argues, lay the foundation for trust and connection that daughters carry into adulthood.

As the episode unfolds, the conversation shifts to the challenges and joys of raising daughters through their tween years. Craig Parks emphasizes the importance of balancing guidance with allowing independence. He shares, with refreshing honesty, the natural struggles of parenting—highlighting the need for self-reflection, giving space for children to assert themselves, and not taking it personally when daughters begin to assert their own identities.

Another powerful takeaway is the value of supporting your child’s passions and dreams. Craig Parks’s support for his daughter’s love of music and theater—showing up for rehearsals, being her biggest cheerleader, and even creating a “Daddy Daughter Duo”—serves as a model for embracing who your child truly is, not who you expect them to be.

The podcast doesn’t shy away from the tough stuff either. Craig Parks candidly shares a parenting mistake, underlining the importance of apologizing and repairing relationships. This humility and willingness to grow set the tone for authentic connection.

Rounding out the episode, Dr. Christopher Lewis and Craig Parks discuss actionable tips, from fostering safe communication to managing your own well-being as a dad.

Ready for more heartfelt advice and stories that inspire? Tune in to this episode of “Dad and Daughter Connection.” You’ll come away equipped and encouraged, with fresh ideas to nurture the most important relationship in your—and your daughter’s—life.

Listen now and start building those everyday moments that last a lifetime!

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to connect with one another, working toward building those strong relationships that we want to have with our daughters one day at a time. And it is so important that you show up, because every day that you show up shows your daughters that you care, shows your daughters that you’re in it to be able to be the dad that they want and that you want to be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:18]:
And that’s why this podcast is here. It is here to be able to give you some tools for your toolbox, to provide you some perspective and allow for you to learn from some other people that have gone through different experiences that can give you some different perspective that can help you to be the dad that you want to be. Today, we’ve got a great guest. Craig Parks is with us. And Craig is someone I’ve known for a few years. He’s a past guest on my other podcast, Dads With Daughters, that I did for many years. And I asked him to come back to talk about where we are today, because the last time we chatted was about. About five years ago, I think.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:56]:
And things are definitely different. Kids are older, and life is different in many different ways. So I’m excited to be able to talk to him, especially about his relationship with his daughter, and to be able to share him with you. Craig, thanks so much for being here today.

Craig Parks [00:02:09]:
It’s an honor. Thank you, Christopher. I appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:11]:
Well, I really appreciate you being here today and for sharing this journey that you’ve been on with your daughter. And I know she’s in those tween years, so we’ll be. We’ll. We’ll talk a little bit about that, too. But one of the things that I love talking about first is that each of us as a dad, really want to create those moments, those moments that Our kids will remember. And I guess for you, as you think about your relationship with your daughter, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with your daughter and what made it so special?

Craig Parks [00:02:39]:
For me, we often will think about kind of the really big moments, and certainly those are going to happen. But to be honest with you, my focus is less on the big moments and understanding that most of parenthood is actually made up of the everyday small moments and really trying to be present for those. Right. Whether it’s like when I’m driving her to school every day, am I present, am I with her, are we sharing something in the evening when we’re hanging out, am I on my phone, or am I like, really with her? You know, are we playing games, are we talking, are we. And if she’s going through any kind of struggle, like at bedtime, when she opens up a little bit more, am I listening in a way that will make her want to continue to. To open up and see me as a trusted source of support? So there’s some just amazing moments of watching her on stage, she’s in musical theater, or just playing Rummy Cube with her often, or she’s also a musician. And so for me, like, what’s really special is when she sits down at the piano and we’re starting to put together a little thing called the Daddy Daughter Duo. And our dream is to go out and gig together.

Craig Parks [00:03:40]:
So anytime we play any music and harmonize together, those moments are so incredible. But I don’t look towards, like, the big moments I want to soak in because I just know how fast it goes. I know that in a matter of six years can be out of the house. And it’s like I just want to make the most of the tiny moments each bedtime that she still wants me there every time she gives me a hug and wants to hug me. And as you mentioned, she’s in her tween years now, so I don’t want to make it sound like it’s all roses either, because she is in her individuation process, which is a natural process. Right. So there are some really hard moments to too, where she’s very defiant and she’s bumping up against those boundaries and that’s her job as well. So that’s really kind of what’s in my heart around that.

Craig Parks [00:04:22]:
I mean, it’s a good question. And I know that we will look back and I, you know, when I look back on her 11 years already, I mean, the pandemic was actually a really huge one, honestly. And that’s where we created part two, Party Central. We did a weekly interactive show together to kind of get us through the pandemic and help others get through the pandemic. And we created this amazing interactive family variety show for people. So that’s a memory that’s like, wow, that’s really huge.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:46]:
Now, with your daughter getting into those tween years, there is a point in time where your daughter goes from the daughter that is still holding your hand and wants you there and has those stars in their eyes as they’re looking at you and being its dad. Now, they still say it’s dad, but they’re looking at that independence, and they want that independence. How do you balance guiding your daughter while also giving her the independence to grow into the person she’s becoming?

Craig Parks [00:05:11]:
Such a great, great question. And, you know, I think when we listen to podcasts or it’s easy to think of, like, oh, there’s an expert on. And they have it all together. And, you know, and I just want to be really honest. I think that, first of all, it is a great question. It’s an important question. And I think it’s important for us parents to remember that. That we’re never going to be perfect.

Craig Parks [00:05:31]:
And so that balance between fostering her independence and when she was like, oh, I want my daddy, but there’s that part of her that’s like, you are embarrassing me. You are gross, and get away from me. For me, I just do my best to, one, not take it personally when things get really, really hard. And two, to actually understand development, I think, is really important for us dads as well to know what is actually natural. Like, for them to start breaking away is actually natural. And if we’re hoping that they’re going to be continue to look at us like, oh, Daddy, you want to hold our hands when they’re 15 and 16 and 17, that’s actually not inv their best interests. I’ll share this with you. I was nervous, and I think when we spoke many years ago on the podcast, I shared this, too.

Craig Parks [00:06:12]:
I was actually quite scared to have a daughter. As somebody who’s worked with children of all ages for over three decades, and it wasn’t because I was afraid I was going to love my daughter. It was because I think my knowledge of what. What girls and women go through, it’s like, wow, that’s tough. And. And so when I found out I was having a daughter, it’s like, okay, I want to do everything I can to help my daughter own every bit of her power. And. And so I created a mantra for her even when she was in utero.

Craig Parks [00:06:39]:
And her mantra is, I am powerful and creative. And it is something I just. She is. I just shared with her almost every single day of her life. And what’s great is she’s actually really internalized it. And yet the irony is that when she owns that power and that creativity and uses it, quote, unquote, against me, I have to take a step back, not take it personally, and realize, okay, she actually is asserting her independence. And. And I want her to be.

Craig Parks [00:07:03]:
I want her to be strong, and I don’t want her to just follow the crowd. I don’t want her if even in her dating life, if she’s feeling a little bit weird internally, I want her to trust her intuition. I want her to trust and feel confident. Say, this doesn’t feel right. So I’m not looking for a daughter who’s just going to obey me and be completely obedient. No, I want. I want a daughter who’s going to be able to question me when she feels like something is not fair or just or right. I want to foster that in her so that I know that when she’s out in the world, she has the confidence to do that and know that that’s.

Craig Parks [00:07:35]:
That’s actually a good thing, that that’s a really wonderful thing to do. So there’s tension in that. Right? Because of course, who doesn’t want the sweet, loving daughter, right, that’s just going to want to hug us all the time. But I think it’s important to know that that’s actually not in their best interest, that it’s. That they do need to break away. They need to actually go up against the boundaries. And it’s our job as parents to one continually question, are these boundaries still developmentally appropriate and are they fair? And if they are, it’s our job to, even against their resistance, to hold firm and be okay with them hating us in that moment because they’re going to say some things that if we could take personally, but I think our job is to not take personally and stay calm, as calm as we can, and loving and. And have some grace for ourselves as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:19]:
You know, a little bit earlier you talked about that your daughter’s into musical theater, that you can tell that she has some true pass, that you’re wanting to do some gigs with her and to try to get out into the world to showcase what you both have together. And those go into the passions and the dreams that our kids have. And as fathers, we do whatever we can to be able to support those. How do you support your daughter in pursuing her passion and dreams?

Craig Parks [00:08:44]:
Well, I think a lot of it is just like taking her to all the rehearsals, picking her up, and also being there, just being present. My dad was such a hard working dad, just trying to support the family. He missed a lot of my childhood. I think a lot of what I do and what I chose to do as a profession, working with kids, and certainly as a dad, I think was largely driven by a lot of that pain of like wishing that my dad had been kind of more present. I understand. I mean, he, it wasn’t for a bad reason. He was working his tail off trying to support the family. Right.

Craig Parks [00:09:14]:
But I knew I wanted to design a different kind of life for myself as a dad. And so I think the way we support our kids and our daughters is by understanding who they are. So like, my daughter is really into music and musical theater and she never got that into sports and that’s fine. So it’s like trying to understand, like, what are their true gifts, what are their true passions and trying to let them become who they actually are rather than mold them into who we want to be. I mean, look, I wish I was out gigging last year with her already because she could do that. But I also don’t want to be the, the parents, be like, no, we’re going to practice this way and have it be some. I want it to be joyful and connecting. So for me it’s just being present.

Craig Parks [00:09:50]:
When she has rehearsals, I work it out with, with my wife so that who’s going to drive her, who’s going to pick her up? And she sees that dad is often the one doing those things. Every performance I’m there. On the very rare occasions where I can’t make something, I see she’s bummed about it. And for me as a kid, it was just the norm. So the fact that I know my kid is disappointed and can show that to me is actually another beautiful thing that reflects the, the connection that we have, that she can actually express her sadness and disappointment and I can too. But just being there, being present, seeing what they’re into, seeing what they’re passionate about and supporting it, I think is one of the best ways that we can really support our daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:26]:
The other thing that I think a lot of us as dads want to do is be able to show our kids that we believe in them, that we value them. And I guess for you as a dad, what do you do to intentionally make your daughter feel both valued and heard?

Craig Parks [00:10:42]:
We talked about kind of the small moments of each day. I think it happens in the tiniest of moments. Each. Each moment when she’s speaking, don’t be looking at your phone. And I’m guilty of that. And so. But in terms of my intention, that’s what I want to make sure is when she’s speaking, presence, am I present? Am I actually hearing and understanding what she is saying, and am I asking questions that she could tell I’m really thinking about what she’s saying and can I do it without judgment? And that’s tricky for us parents, too, because of course, we’re going to have our judgments about things. But.

Craig Parks [00:11:11]:
And then the other thing is. And this could be hard for us parents, too, is letting them fail, letting them make mistakes, let them learn from those mistakes, giving them space to be able to fail, to not rescue them and. But let them know, like, we’re here, we see you, and we believe in you. This is something I was actually conscious of from really day one, especially with a daughter. I did not want a daughter to learn that she was just helpless. I wanted her to know I believed in her. So I guess a little kid, you know, she. She’d fall off the play equipment or she.

Craig Parks [00:11:40]:
She’d scrape her knee or whatever. And. And I wasn’t just, like, running to her like, are you okay? You know, I was like, get on up. You got this. You know, just letting her know, like, I’m here. I see you. I believe in you. You can get up.

Craig Parks [00:11:50]:
You got it. And obviously, if she was really, really her, I. Obviously, I’d be nurturing and take care of her, but, you know, just let her know, like, whatever it is, like, we can learn from them and we can grow. And so to not get upset if they fail, if they, you know, they don’t do something, they don’t do a chore, it’s like, okay, well, you’re not going to get this until it’s done. But with no anger in the voice of, like, cool. This is the way it is. I think the more us parents can understand our boundaries and understand how to set up kind of natural consequences, it’s easier for us to not lose our cool. And especially as dads, it could be really scary for kids when us dads can lose our cool and lose our temper.

Craig Parks [00:12:25]:
Our. I think our biggest job is really to just work on our own presence and our own being so that our kids just feel safe. Around us to be whatever they need to be. And I know that’s a high bar, but for me, that’s what I’m really

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:37]:
conscious of as a dad now. None of us as dads are perfect. We all make mistakes, and we have to live with those mistakes and learn from those mistakes. What’s a mistake that you’ve made as a father, and what did you learn from it regarding fostering a positive communication with your daughter?

Craig Parks [00:12:55]:
So there’s one memory that. And this happened a lot of years ago. You know, I don’t know how old she was. It was. She was maybe 5 or 6 years old, and it was, like, three days in a row. She kept spilling water in the backseat of the car. And there was one day where, really I lost it. And I grabbed whatever I could.

Craig Parks [00:13:14]:
It turned out to be her artwork. And I used it to, like, dry up the back seat. And Christopher. I felt like such garbage. I felt so bad. Like, I took her creation, I took her art, and in anger, right up the seat, and she was crying. She was really upset. And later that night, you know, when I got calm at bedtime, I really debriefed the whole thing and took full responsibility.

Craig Parks [00:13:37]:
And I apologized. And I think it’s important for our kids to hear us apologize when we make mistakes, if we want them to be able to do that, too, make repairs. And I asked her, too. I told her. I was like, there was no part of that that was right for me to do, and that I felt terrible. And I apologize. And I. And I asked her, I’m like, and I really hope that you’ll forgive me.

Craig Parks [00:13:55]:
And, you know, and she said that she did. And the reason I bring this up is because she still, to this day, will bring that up to give me a hard time. She’s like, dad, you took my art. And, you know, and the fact that, like, that that’s the one that she goes to after all these years, that she doesn’t have, like, 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 of those terrible memories to go to, to me, is, like, a really beautiful thing. It shows that I’ve done a pretty good job of staying pretty calm and peaceful and connected and loving. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t had moments where I haven’t had to apologize to her in all these years. I don’t. I don’t want to set that up.

Craig Parks [00:14:30]:
But what that showed me is that one certainly repairing, repairing, repairing when there is a disconnect, when we have not been our best, repairing that moment revisiting that moment, letting them know that we’ve thought about it and that we were not proud of our moments when we’re. When we’re not at our best and to let them see a vulnerable side of us, that we’re actually thoughtful, we’re reflective, that we care about the relationship. That, I think is one of the biggest, biggest lessons that no matter what goes down, because we will never be perfect, we shouldn’t be perfect. We’ll never, you know, and so when we have those moments, repair, repair, repair. And if we could do that, we keep our relationship strong and we keep that trust. When they see that we’ve reflected and we’ve owned where we have not been our best.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:17]:
Now, one of the things that I know that you’ve done in the past and that you’re working on right now is you started a site called parentingharmony.com and I guess I want to go back to the beginning of this and bring me back to the inception of the idea. And what made you decide that you wanted to venture into this space and start this journey? And what needs were you trying to fill?

Craig Parks [00:15:44]:
So I’m in San Diego, California, and I’ve started two summer camps, and I ran summer camps for about 30 years, and I’ve worked with kids of all ages. And I’m also a professional musician. So I’ve done music with a lot of children, done parents, and taught classes, and there’s a lot of things I’ve done with kids and then having my own. I ended up writing a lot of music, and I wrote a lot of music just in the natural flow of being with my kids. Kids. And I ended up recording an album of music that I wrote with my kids that ended up. And. And when I first released, I thought, oh, I kind of want to be the next Raffy, you know, and, like, just be out there doing this kids album.

Craig Parks [00:16:19]:
But the more I thought about it, and as I was trying to get it out there, I realized, wait a minute. These songs are not just kid songs. These are actually parenting moments. So it was songs like Dancing on Daddy’s Shoulders, where I would actually have my daughter up on my shoulders, and we would sing this song and dance together every day. When she was young, during bath time, I wrote a song for bath time. I wrote a lullaby for my son. I have all these songs that were parenting experiences. And then I thought, wait a minute.

Craig Parks [00:16:45]:
Okay. I have these songs that turn everyday moments into actually positive, beautiful memories. And I’ve also taught so many people how to work with kids. And I actually want to share all of this wisdom so that parents one can be present one they’re not going to look back at their child childhood in regret. Like, oh my God, I missed it in the blink of an eye because I didn’t make the most out of bedtime. The things that happen every day, that’s most of parenting. Because Christopher, you asked about the big moments, right? And we can take our kids to Disneyland and that will be a memorable moment. But most of parenting isn’t that.

Craig Parks [00:17:19]:
Most of parenting is the wake them up, make sure they’re fed, make sure that they’re bathed, make sure that they go to bed at a reasonable hour. All these things that we have to do every day. And so what for me it was like, oh, I feel like I’ve kind of really have something to show parents of how to make the most of the mundane and make up connecting fun. So I created the parenting A to E philosophy. And A stands for our affect, right? I’ve talked about presence, I talked about being common and our affect in our body and in our voice will create the E the effectiveness of the kind of relationship we want. And so, and this is what I taught all the people I trained to work with kids is how do we use our body and how do we use our voice to create connection in a way that’s memorable. And so my parenting aide course teaches parents how to use their body, their voice. It has the 14 songs for that and then there’s 10 games as well that they can do to use the affect that are just really fun, really connecting, that are screen free.

Craig Parks [00:18:15]:
And then there’s bonus material like bedtime rituals and bathtime rituals. So this is to help parents and amazing like and they’ve told me like it has made such a difference and things that they just don’t think about because maybe they’ve never worked with kids, right? Something as simple as lower your body and get down on their eye level. Can you imagine being, you know, if everybody in your world was 10 foot 6 inches and you walked out the door and Everybody was like 2ft taller than you, like how intimidating that world would be. And we forget that that’s the world that our little children are in every day of their lives. And so the simple act of lowering our our bodies and getting eye level creates trust safety. So those are the powerful kind of techniques that I teach in my parenting A to E course. And then the songs are easy, they’re for non musicians that are very, very simple melodies but are super fun and connecting and when you do these as a ritual every day for bedtime, the lullaby or washing hands or bath time or whatever it is, our children will look back on their childhood and they’ll remember, oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah.

Craig Parks [00:19:13]:
I remember we used to sing this song when dad would wake me up. It was the wake up song. So there’s all these different things, and music is one of the most powerful ways to create memories. So I just wanted to share all these things that I had learned and done and created so that there’s more love, more joy and connection that parents have access to. And that for the parents who’ve used this course, that’s what they’ve done. And then I also created out of the Parks Party Central show, every episode had activities that parents could do with their kids. And so I look back on our episodes and I created the Parks Party Central parent child activity book. And it’s 25 screen free activities that parents can do with their kids that are silly.

Craig Parks [00:19:48]:
They’re really fun. And so I have different ways and offerings that parents can take advantage of if they really want to have more fun, more connection, and more joy. That’s what parenting harmony is all about. And you can find these@parentingharmony.com now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:00]:
We always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad connection. 66 more questions to delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Craig Parks [00:20:07]:
Let’s do it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:08]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughter?

Craig Parks [00:20:12]:
Joyful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:13]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received?

Craig Parks [00:20:17]:
Take care of your own well, being first so that you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:21]:
It’s the old adage of the airlines and putting your mask on before you help your child.

Craig Parks [00:20:27]:
We’re stressed and we’re hungry and we’re just a ball of nerves all the time. Like, we just. We can’t be our best. So I meditate every single day.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:35]:
What’s one activity that you and your daughter love doing together?

Craig Parks [00:20:38]:
Playing music. Oh, and I’m going to throw in a bonus one. We are really into Rummy Cube right now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:43]:
It’s a fun game.

Craig Parks [00:20:44]:
Yeah, it’s great.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:45]:
If you could give your daughter one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Craig Parks [00:20:49]:
Take on the mindset of owning your power to create no matter the circumstances.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:55]:
And what’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Craig Parks [00:20:58]:
My heart and capacity to love is much bigger than I even realized.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:04]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters.

Craig Parks [00:21:11]:
The most important thing, I think, is being there, is being present as much as possible. And I know that we have to work right and we have to do different things, but as much as possible, when we are able to be there, be there with an open mind, an open heart, and with curiosity and with love being the foundation of it all.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:30]:
Well, Craig, I just want to say thank you. I really appreciate you being back and sharing your journey with your daughter. If people want to find out more about you, where should they go?

Craig Parks [00:21:39]:
They can go to parentingharmony.com and they can write to me at Craig Parks parentingharmony.com and I also want to. If anybody’s made it this far and they’re actually interested, I want to offer this to your listeners. If you write to me and you want the parenting Harmony, the parenting ate digital course, I will take $200 off the course. That’s way more than 50%. So just write to me and say that you heard me on this podcast and I will get you. I’ll get you that discount. Because if that’s something you want, I also guarantee that if you do this course, you will have more laughter, you will have more joy, and you will have more confidence in your parenting. And.

Craig Parks [00:22:15]:
And ultimately what I want is that for you, more love, more joy, more connection, because that is what will ripple out into a more peaceful world for all of our kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:23]:
Well, Craig, thank you. Thank you not only for that wonderful gift for us, but also for sharing your story today. And I truly wish you all the best.

Craig Parks [00:22:32]:
Thank you, Chris, for always a pleasure to be with you.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:35]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:23:05]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals, we buy them presents and bring your A game. Cause those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can.

Building Lasting Bonds: Practical Tips for Dads Raising Confident Daughters

May 4, 2026 by dadofdivas

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If you’re a dad seeking to build a deeper relationship with your daughter and empower her to grow into a confident, independent woman, the “Dad and Daughter Connection” podcast is the resource you’ve been looking for. In the latest episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Rob Donovan, a devoted father of two, to explore the ups and downs of modern fatherhood, sharing both practical tips and heartfelt stories that will resonate with any parent.

From the start, Dr. Christopher Lewis sets the tone: fatherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. This central message weaves through the episode as Rob Donovan recounts his own parenting journey, including the surprises he encountered as his daughters’ personalities took shape. He shares how one daughter, contrary to his expectations, turned out to be more artistically inclined, while the other took after him in her love of sports. Rob Donovan emphasizes the significance of meeting each child where they are—celebrating their uniqueness and supporting their preferred interests, whether that means roller hockey in the driveway or karaoke in the living room.

A recurring theme in the conversation is the importance of letting children develop their independence, even as we instinctively want to protect them. Rob Donovan candidly discusses the balancing act of giving his daughters space to solve their own problems—from playground squabbles to learning how to handle disappointment and frustration—while always remaining a supportive presence in their lives.

The episode also dives into how dads can intentionally foster strong bonds during challenging moments. Rob Donovan opens up about overcoming his own discomfort around childhood injuries, a legacy of his military experiences, and learning to comfort his daughters with patience and understanding. He shares the family routines that keep them connected, like special breakfast traditions and shared musical moments, underscoring that it’s often the simplest rituals that leave the deepest impact.

One of the most inspiring messages from the episode comes when Rob Donovan advises fellow dads to “just go for it” and always get involved—no matter how different your children’s passions may be from your own. As he says, “Dive right in… you never know, you might enjoy it with them.”

The “Dad and Daughter Connection” podcast reminds us that fatherhood is a journey of growth—for both father and child. Each episode offers encouragement, wisdom, and a sense of camaraderie for dads everywhere. Listen in, get inspired, and start building the lasting connections that shape your daughter’s future—and your own.

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work on those relationships that want to have with our daughters one day at a time. And it is a journey that you’re on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:05]:
Every one of us is on a different journey as we are working to be able to be the fathers that we want to be, but also to make those meaningful connections with our daughters as they are getting older. And that’s why this podcast exists every week. I love being able to have the opportunity to introduce you to new dads that you might. That you’ve never met before, that. That are going through this process themselves. Maybe they’re succeeding, maybe they’re failing. Maybe they’re somewhere in between. No matter where they are and where you are, you showing up gives you the opportunity to learn, to grow, and to be able to continue to build those tools for your own toolbox that’ll help you to be the best dad that you want to be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:51]:
So today, I am really excited we have another great guest on the show. Rob Donovan is with us. And Rob’s a father of two daughters, and they are age 5 and 4. I remember those days. It was a while back, but I do remember those days, and it was a fun time. And I am really excited to have him here today and for him to tell some of his story with you. Rob, thanks so much for joining us today.

Rob Donovan [00:02:17]:
Great to be here, Dr. Lewis.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:18]:
Well, it’s my pleasure having you here today. And I guess, first and foremost, one of the things that I love being able to start with and talk about is each one of us are going through this journey as we’re working to be that dad that we want to be. And part of that is to create those meaningful moments, moments that each of us wants to have with our daughters. What’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with each of your daughters and what made each of them so special.

Rob Donovan [00:02:44]:
I’m gonna have to say since they’re 5 and 4, their identities now are starting to come to fruition. I thought at first my firstborn daughter was gonna be all sports. She’s more arts, she’s more music and film. My second born is all sports. So it kind of flip flopped on that end. But what I love is that I can connect with them on two different levels. So obviously for my second born daughter, she loves to go outside. Roller hockey, soccer, anything outside, biking.

Rob Donovan [00:03:07]:
And then my firstborn, you know, we love to listen to music. Obviously the kids show hunt tricks is a big one for her. And then going to movies, she loves movies. So I believe we just saw the new Mario movie and we’re gonna go back again probably next week. So she just love recreate movie scenes and sometimes I’m the bad guy, sometimes I’m the animal. I don’t know. But it’s fun to create those moments with my daughters on a separate level. Sometimes they play with each other, but I can obviously tell now that they’re kind of going off in their own separate ways a little bit here.

Rob Donovan [00:03:34]:
And it’s fun to connect on each level of them on those.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:36]:
Now what the things I didn’t mention was that you also work with the hockey team at the University of Michigan Flint. And so sports is really important to you. So with your youngest having that connection and having that interest in sports, I’m sure that there’s sometimes an ability to be able to make that connection and be able to understand her a little bit more because of that. So talk to me about that connection to sports with your youngest daughter. What have you done to hone that and what have you done to work to hone your other abilities with your oldest daughter who has other interests than your own?

Rob Donovan [00:04:15]:
So I think for my youngest daughter starting out is that she became a lot like me. More than I could have ever imagined. It’s kind of like staring in the mirror. And now I know what my parents kind of saw when I was a kid. She’s very competitive. We bond over the fact that I obviously love Michigan, I love hockey, I love all sports. But I think whenever she sees the, the block em or anything, she yells go blue. She loves watching hockey, especially Michigan hockey.

Rob Donovan [00:04:34]:
And I think this year the football will be fun for her because I think she’s gonna understand that a little bit more. But she kind of laug on anything. I kind of do So I mean, if I’m out playing hockey by myself rollerblading, she wants to do that. I think at this point right now we’re just kind of working on it’s okay to have fun, it’s okay just to shoot. And if you miss the net or if you do something, it’s not the end of the world. She’s very competitive, so if she doesn’t hit the net on a soccer goal or hockey goal, she gets a little upset. So we’re kind of going through the motions of it’s okay just to play and have fun. For my firstborn daughter, she does like to jump in a few times with the athletics, but she goes off on her own quests after a while and that’s totally fine.

Rob Donovan [00:05:09]:
I kind of noticed that. And I’ll give Tilly. Tilly’s my second born and Tegan is my firstborn. And I will give Tegan, you know, the same amount of just kind of play time. So after I’m done playing hockey and kind of getting Tilly on a roll, I’ll go over to Teegan and we’ll kind of have our little side quests. Whether we’re playing Mario or some other make believe movie with sticks or going on an adventure with her outside is pretty much what she likes to do. So I just kind of got to switch switches there and kind of go from a coach to almost like a drama teacher in a way. So it’s kind of fun.

Rob Donovan [00:05:38]:
I never had that as a kid as being so playful. Like my firstborn, my parents were very athletic mindset and so it’s kind of fun going back and having that experience with my firstborn.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:50]:
Now. Earlier you talked about the fact that your daughters are starting to show some of that independence and wanting that independence for themselves. And part of the role of a father is to find that balance. Some of that balance comes down to how we guide our daughters while still giving them the independence that they need to grow into their own person. Talk to me about, how are you doing that?

Rob Donovan [00:06:11]:
For me, it’s just going to be kind of just releasing the grip a bit, lessening, lessening the rope on them. I’m very protective as a father, so if we’re biking, I like to keep them close even though our neighborhood’s really safe. So I kind of now I’m kind of, you know, watching them from a distance and they know better with cars and such like that. Kind of letting them figure out when they have arguments instead of stepping in right away and like putting the kibosh on it. As soon as they start arguing now, I kind of let them try to figure it out a bit. Normally they do, but sometimes, you know, I still got to step in and referee a bit. But yeah, it’s just kind of stepping back a bit and kind of letting them learn how to live a bit. And it’s.

Rob Donovan [00:06:43]:
It’s definitely a little bit difficult for me just because I’m so protective of them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:46]:
And, you know, it’s not always easy to be able to find ways to be able to work on those bonds, especially when times are challenging, because being a father is not always roses. There’s going to be challenging times, and you have to figure out where you stand as a parent, as a father in those times. What would you say are some intentional ways that you’ve worked to strengthen your bonds with your daughters, especially during those challenging times?

Rob Donovan [00:07:12]:
For me, one of my biggest difficulties as a dad is going to have to be maybe injuries. And that just goes back to. For me, my, my girls, they play extremely hard, and so there’s going to be injuries. I mean, they’re filled with bruises and cuts and stuff like that. But, you know, big injuries. Such as, like, I know one time one of them went over the handlebars. Handlebars once scraped up her face, things like that. And kind of takes me back is I was in the military about eight years ago.

Rob Donovan [00:07:35]:
I came across during my time of service, some things with kids that made difficult. I always thought when having children, when they get to that age, around five to eight, I was going to have a little difficulties because I had past experiences with kids that are being injured. So for me, I know as they were growing up, whenever they got hurt or fell or anything like that, or started crying really hard, for me it was very difficult. It was very, I’d say in the new words, triggering, I guess, where I’d kind of a normal dad kneel down, you know, kiss the boo boo, and you know, stuff like that. For me, it was very difficult. It was almost like I had to step away. But now I’ve learned in the past few years, I’ve learned to slow things down and explain to them, okay, it’s just a little cut or just a little bruise. We can get up things like that.

Rob Donovan [00:08:10]:
And I think if I would have said that three years ago, for me, that would have been very difficult. So we’re both growing together, my daughters and I, so I know there’s more bumps and bruises to go on as they grow up, especially in sports. So I think for me, it’s just going to be something I’m going to continue to grow and continue to get better at.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:25]:
And as you said, we’re not perfect individuals. There are mistakes that we make, flaws that we have. What would you say is a mistake that you’ve made as a father and what did you learn from it about fostering more positive communications with your daughters?

Rob Donovan [00:08:40]:
I think my biggest mistake is going to have to be I’m just a very competitive, aggressive kind of person. Just comes with. I played hockey my whole life. I did the military. I’m. I’m a deputy now, sheriff deputy. And so I kind of live a life where I’m very go getter is I’m very aggressive in life. And so when the girls play and stuff, I.

Rob Donovan [00:08:57]:
I kind of let it go like I said. But then on the flip side, I got to teach them, you know, to be kind, courteous, nice with strangers and other kids when they play. They can’t be as rough as they are with their sisters. So I think that’s just one thing I kind of needed to tone down start, which I didn’t do. And now I’m kind of backtracking a bit, trying to teach them, you know, how to play a little nicer and how to include everybody and not immediately when you get mad at someone, you’re not gonna, you know, just throw them down on the ground, something like that. So something I’m backtracking now on being a little nicer. I just being an older person, an adult, you’ve kind of already grown up not knowing that’s, you know, not, not the right thing to do. But when you’re a child, you can need your parents to kind of help you along those ropes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:33]:
And I can tell that you are in there, you’re engaged. And for all of us that are engaged dads, there are things that we have to do to be validate our kids. So I guess what do you do to intentionally allow for your daughters to feel both valued and heard?

Rob Donovan [00:09:51]:
For me, I just give them the time. I know I work overnight, so I work from 7pm to 7am so I could easily go to bed and wake up at 4 and go right to work, pretty much get have a meal and go to work. But I come home every day and I feed my dogs first of all because they’re the first ones up and whining. I have two little mini dachshunds, so little wiener dogs so they need to go out and get fed. But as soon as I do that, the girls come running downstairs because they Know that as soon as I get home, I make a gourmet kind of, you know, breakfast for them. They have eggs, Belgian waffles, sausage, orange juice right before school. So it’s kind of like a little system we have where almost now, if I don’t come home, if I get delayed by something that morning, I feel bad because I know that that’s something they look forward to, is me coming home and making them nice meals. And then on the flip side, I try to go to bed as soon as they go to school, I go to bed right away.

Rob Donovan [00:10:37]:
And then I get up around, you know, 1:32. So now I have the whole back end of the afternoon when they get back from school and they have lunch, Dad’s waking up and now they know dad’s going to come out and play with, be involved. And so I may be tired, I may be 3 day work week of 12 hour shifts or something like that. But I always try to make time for them and try to, you know, play with them and give them a good meal. And I think they really appreciate that. It’s kind of something they look forward to every week now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:00]:
And you talked about some of the interests that your daughters have, and I don’t know if you, if you have an answer for this or not, but as your daughters have been getting older and starting to show you more of their, their passions, their dreams, their things, the things that they are most interested in and most wanting to do. How do you support your daughters in pursuing those passions and dreams?

Rob Donovan [00:11:23]:
I believe that when you’re young, you’re figuring out what you like. A lot of times that’s like, if you talk to people, you know, in their older years, they grow up, be like, oh, I used to love playing saxophone as a kid, or I used to, you know, I love singing as a child, but I kind of lost doing that because I had other things or other things are more important or, you know, I got older and I realized it was never going to happen, things like that. But like I said, my first daughter loves music. She loves singing, she loves anything to do with music, film, things like that. And so I encourage you. I got her a little, little microphone to sing into and a little karaoke set on. Play her favorite songs and just kind of encourage her. No matter, you know, no matter what she likes, sports, music, dance, anything.

Rob Donovan [00:12:00]:
I’m going to be there supporting her all the way because I know that’s going to be a passion of hers. I can just tell in their eyes that she loves it on the Flip side of my youngest daughter, I mean, she’s just like me and she looks just like me. So sports, she gravitated right towards sports. I mean, I have a little knee hockey set I’ve had since sixth grade or so like for 30 years. And I brought it out and she, she loved it immediately. She loves kicking the soccer ball. Any do with movement. And for her, I always told my wife I had a son it’d be a little more difficult because like I said before, I, I push really hard.

Rob Donovan [00:12:27]:
So having a daughter was kind of a godsend for me because it allows me to step back and kind of be a little softer as a parent, I believe. So with her being sports wise, I can work on, you know, being more passionate instead of, you know, let’s get out there and run drills. When they get it like 6 or when I get 8 years old to like 15, I’m gonna say, hey, let’s go play out in the field together. Instead of, let’s hit the, let’s hit the sprints and stuff like that. If I had a boy. So I think just being with both of them and being, and what they like to do and having as their dad and a friend enjoying what they do, instead of just saying, hey, go out and do this and I’m going to sit back and watch or I’m going to go inside and do my own thing. I’m going to actively, as I get older, I’m going to still be along as long as they let me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:06]:
And what’s one way that you show your daughter that she can always count on you?

Rob Donovan [00:13:10]:
That’s going to be through honestly just being active in what they’re doing. So I said the music wise, you just got to be there for them. You got to be right next to them, you got to be engaged with them. And so if they have any questions or they want you to be along, sing along with them or show them the ropes. They’re not gonna be afraid to ask you because you’re always there helping out for their age. If they get frustrated, I know about a year ago, if I said this a year ago, they’d sit there and cry, maybe they’d get frustrated, they throw down their toy, they throw down whatever they’re doing and kind of run into the house. But now there’s like, dad, can you help me? Dad, can you come play with me? Dad this and dad that. And I love that.

Rob Donovan [00:13:43]:
I love being included with it. And now I feel like they trust me enough to, if they need help, they can just Ask instead of just running away.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:49]:
It’s so important to be able to stay open, allowing for our daughters to really dictate where the conversation’s going. And that’s not always something that is at the forefront of our brain in the sense of what we would do right away. So I appreciate that you shared that. Now all of us have those routines, and you talked about the breakfast routine and traditions that are meaningful to our families. You mentioned the breakfast one, but I’m going to ask and see if there’s any other ones. What’s another tradition or routine that you’ve created together with your daughters that really strengthens your bonds?

Rob Donovan [00:14:24]:
I think one of them would be obviously the breakfast one. But for me, I love. For my second daughter and sometimes my first, I love watching anything Michigan so that they. Hockey, football, anything like that. As soon as I turn it on the past two years, they know. So they. They hear the fight song, Hail to the Victors and stuff, and they go. They come in, they yell, go blue.

Rob Donovan [00:14:41]:
And they sit down for a bit. At least my second daughter still sit for almost the whole game and watch and they cheer whenever anyone scores a touchdown. For my firstborn daughter, I used to play guitar. So when she gets feels a little artsy or she wants her favorite song, she’ll come up to me and she’ll ask me, can you play this or can you? I’ve done it a couple times with Moana and stuff like that, where I found out the chords and I’d play. But now it’s like whenever she finds a new song, she’s like, dad, can you play this? Can you figure out how to play this? So it’s kind of a tradition with her now is now that whenever she finds a new song or something, we go try to play it. And we have a drum set too, so she loves playing that. It’s like one of those electric ones. So we’ll put a return on her favorite song and she’ll so drum to it, in a way.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:15]:
Is your backup singer. She can become your backup singer and backup drummer.

Rob Donovan [00:15:19]:
Exactly. Like I said, I go from coach to music teacher each day. Flip flop.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:23]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad Connection 6, which asks you six more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Rob Donovan [00:15:30]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:30]:
Go for it. What’s one word that describes the relationship that you have with your daughters?

Rob Donovan [00:15:37]:
I’d say devoted.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:38]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received?

Rob Donovan [00:15:43]:
Be goofy. As much for my dad, always make your kids laugh. You have to be tough with them. But at the same time, you know, they’re. They’re looking for. They’re looking for a laugh, they’re looking for a good time. They’re. Kids can’t always just be so strict.

Rob Donovan [00:15:52]:
Even though you want them to listen to you got to spend the time to make them laugh. So got to be goofy. But you gotta teach them to laugh at yourself.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:59]:
Now, you’ve already answered this question in a few different ways, but if there’s a different one, you can, you can answer this. What’s one activity that you and. And each of your daughters love doing together?

Rob Donovan [00:16:10]:
My second daughter loves to eat. So I cook a ton of things. I like to cook and she eats anything. And it’s amazing. Like, I would never have eaten that as a kid. And she just, she just pounds it down like it just extravagant food. So she has, she’s not picky. And so whenever I’m cooking food or whatever, she always wants to try a bite.

Rob Donovan [00:16:27]:
So that’s awesome. With her firstborn daughter, yes, I’ve already tapped on the artsy part and stuff like that, but trying to think of one other thing that she. The music, art, stuff like that. Drawing. I’d say she loves to draw, so I’ll join her in drawing. And I’m not the greatest artist, so she laughs at if I draw. Tell them to draw the dogs or something. She wants me to draw the dog as well.

Rob Donovan [00:16:47]:
Or chalk outside and I’ll make a picture and she’ll be laughing. That’s not a dog or something like that. So I think that’s two things that we’d like to do together.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:54]:
If you can give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Rob Donovan [00:16:59]:
For me, I would say just go for it. Honestly, just that. Just go for it. Just because you never know. You never know what’s going to happen. If you have a passion and you truly believe it, just go for it. For me, I’ve done a lot in my life, a million different careers, and so I think I set a good example for my daughters, especially when they get older and they ask, well, what have you done in your life? I can say, you know, I just went for it. And I hope you do too, because there’s so many experiences you can go on with your life.

Rob Donovan [00:17:23]:
After high school, I played junior hockey, pro hockey in Canada for a while. I played college hockey and then took a break from hockey. Actually, where I got music from is my wife now was my girlfriend in College, and we went to Nashville and we did music for two years out there. And once I was done with that, and I was good with that, I went to the military. Once I was on the military, I did police work. And now I’m on to hockey again. I’m onto my passion again. So just a million different avenues.

Rob Donovan [00:17:46]:
And I hope they find excitement in life like I did and they don’t get stuck on one thing and have to feel like they only have one thing in life that they could do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:54]:
And what’s one thing that you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Rob Donovan [00:17:59]:
For me, especially with two girls, I’ve learned a lot. Like I said before, I was really nervous being a dad just because I felt like. Like if I had boys or I didn’t even know if I had girls, if I had girls, I’d be expecting too much. You always come into being a dad, think, or at least for me, I can’t wait to see what they’re gonna do. I can’t wait to see what their passions are. And, you know, I’m gonna push them to be good at something. You kind of want to, like, not live your life through them, but at least try to give them as much passion, as much as much direction as you possibly can. But I’ve learned now that you just kind of gotta let them go and have fun for right now, and all the chips will fall where they may.

Rob Donovan [00:18:33]:
This is time where you just enjoy your life, enjoy the times that you have with your daughters and your. And things will fall where they are. They always do. Just be there to support them and be a good, devoted father.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:43]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Rob Donovan [00:18:50]:
I would say no matter what their passion is to try to get involved, you don’t have to extremely love what they’re doing. Just get involved. And you never know, you might enjoy it as well. They’re looking for someone to enjoy their passion with. And being a dad and being there with them, being supportive. That’s all my girls ever ask for, is just me being around and being present. So I think just dive right in. No matter what it is, you never know, you might enjoy it with them.

Rob Donovan [00:19:14]:
Might be a lasting hobby for you guys. So to try it out.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:17]:
Great advice, and I really appreciate you sharing that and sharing the journey that you’ve been on with your own daughters. And it’s still a journey. You’re going to continue to go through many of the different phases of life. As they continue to get older. But I want to say thank you. Thank you for your time, and I truly wish you all the best.

Rob Donovan [00:19:34]:
Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

Christopher Lewis [00:19:35]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Performer [00:20:06]:
We’re all in the same boat

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:12]:
and

Musical Performer [00:20:13]:
it’s full of tiny screaming passengers? We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game? Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast? Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men? Get out and be the world to them? Be the best dad you can be? Be the best dad you can be.

Small Moments, Big Impact: Strengthening Your Bond With Your Daughter

April 20, 2026 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In a world where the father-daughter relationship is often celebrated but not always explored in depth, “The Dad and Daughter Connection” podcast stands out as a guiding light for dads eager to nurture lifelong bonds with their daughters. In the latest heartwarming episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Bernard Drew, a proud father, to discuss the unique joys and evolving challenges of raising independent, confident young women.

Celebrating Small Moments That Matter

One of the central themes of this episode is the importance of everyday intentionality. Bernard Drew recalls a cherished memory—taking his young daughter to a midnight premiere of her favorite movie, Hannah Montana. It wasn’t a grand gesture but a simple act of presence and togetherness that, years later, still stands out for both father and daughter. Through stories like this, Bernard Drew emphasizes how small, thoughtful rituals, like watching movies or sharing inside jokes, lay the foundation for meaningful connections.

Balancing Guidance with Independence

A challenge many fathers face is balancing the instinct to protect with the need to allow daughters the freedom to grow. Bernard Drew shares openly about this ongoing journey. From having those tough conversations (“the sex talks, the hard things with society”) to trusting the “seeds previously planted,” he reflects on moments when he had to learn to step back and let his daughter own her choices. This powerful message reminds dads everywhere that guidance is important, but space and trust are essential for daughters to flourish as independent thinkers.

The Value of Authenticity and Listening

Another profound takeaway is the transformation that comes when fathers truly listen. Bernard Drew candidly admits that, growing up, he’d been raised in a “kids are seen and not heard” environment, but realized the importance of letting his daughter have a voice—especially through teenage transitions and life changes. Authentic, open dialogue not only makes daughters feel valued but also strengthens their self-worth.

Encouragement for Dads Everywhere

Throughout their conversation, both Dr. Christopher Lewis and Bernard Drew stress that being present, engaged, and authentic is more valuable than striving for perfection as a parent. The episode encourages listeners to invest in quality time, foster open communication, and continually learn—not just about their daughters, but about themselves as fathers.

Whether you’re seeking practical advice or inspiration, this episode offers a candid, uplifting look at what it means to be “the dad she needs.” Tune in to strengthen your own connection and join a community devoted to raising confident, empowered daughters.

Ready to dive in? Listen to the full conversation and start making your moments count!

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week, you. You and I have an opportunity, an opportunity to be able to work on those relationships that we want to have with our daughters.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]:
You know, I’ve got two daughters, and every week, I love being able to have you here with me as we’re talking about these relationships and we’re talking about what we can do to be able to build those stronger relationships, because each of us have a responsibility to be able to be there for our kids, not just our daughters, but our kids. But the relationship that you have with your daughter is a truly unique one and a very special one, and one that you do have to invest in and you have to work on. And that’s why this podcast exists. It exists so that every week you have an opportunity to be able to learn, to grow, and to try to work on something. Might be small, it might be large that you can do to be able to either work on, repair, or continue to build that relationship with your daughter. That’s why every week, I love bringing you different guests with different experiences that can help you do just that. And today, we’ve got another great guest, Bernard Drew is with us, and Bernard is a father of two, but today we’re going to be talking about his relationship and his experiences with his own daughter. So I’m really excited to have him here.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:07]:
Bernard, thanks so much for being here today.

Bernard Drew [00:02:08]:
Dr. Chris, it’s a pleasure to be here, and as you know, I’ve been so enamored. You do so many things from an extraordinary perspective academically, but I am most intrigued that you have this great passion, this relentless desire to support dads and their journeys with daughters. So it’s actually an honor to be here and part of this community that you’ve been able to nurture.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:29]:
I appreciate you saying that, because it is a passion. It’s been something that I’ve been working on for many, many years. And I love being able to talk to dads like you that have been right in it. And even today, I know today is your daughter’s birthday, so happy birthday to your daughter. And while this will come out after your daughter’s birthday, you we were just talking about the fact that before you came to be on the show today that you were over giving her a birthday present and dropping that off before we were talking. And it’s those special moments, those little moments that so much. And I know your daughter is an adult now, and I. And I guess first and foremost, as we talk about that relationship with your daughter, talk to me about for you what is one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve shared with your daughter and what made it so special as

Bernard Drew [00:03:16]:
it’s her birthday today. And I’ll be grateful. We have a lot of great memories, one that always stands out. I think she had to been maybe 6 years old. And we’re going back. She turned 24 today. So we’re talking about, wow, that’s crazy. Almost 18 years ago, maybe she was 6 or 7.

Bernard Drew [00:03:32]:
She had maybe about 7. And she was just absolutely enamored with Hannah Montana on the television on Disney Channel. And man, that was her show. And I would sit and spend time and just watch it with her and just hanging out. And long story short, they ended up having a movie came out and I ended up buying tickets so that she could go at midnight when it first opened that night to go see it. And we have a picture. And to this day, that is one of the most precious memories for her. Like my dad took me to see Hannah Montana at midnight.

Bernard Drew [00:04:04]:
To her, the thought of going to a movie at midnight was absur. Who does that? But then to be able to take her little Hannah Montana guitar and sit in the show and it’s just a lot of those little moments compound them over time. And I’m so grateful. Almost regardless of any other accomplishments or accolades in life, man, I have enjoyed my journey with my daughter.

Christopher Lewis [00:04:23]:
All of us, as we go through this journey with our daughters and with our kids, we have to balance the expectations that we have. We have to balance the drive that we have to be able to guide them, to help them. Men in general, 10 to be helpers. They tend to be solvers. And sometimes that can be to the detriment of being a father to a daughter. So I guess the question that I have is either now that your daughter is an adult, or as she’s grown up into the adult that she is today. How did you balance or how do you balance guiding your daughter while also giving her the independence to be the person that she was becoming as she was getting older or that she continues to become as she gets older?

Bernard Drew [00:05:08]:
Well, you went straight to one of the most profound, reflective questions we could go into here. And I’ll say it’s definitely an evolving spectrum, even today, and how to be the dad that she needs for this stage and season in life, and even how my role has evolved in years past. And sometimes I got it great. Sometimes it was like, oh, I missed the exit ramp when I was supposed to be a little less overbearing and give her a little more room to explore and discover. But I think it’s somewhere in between that line of being a dad who wants to protect and prevent harm as well as the dad who wants to, hey, I need you to be prepared for this. So in our household, I was the one to have the hard conversations. I had the sex talks. I had the conversations about hard things with society and everything else.

Bernard Drew [00:05:53]:
That was a dad daughter thing. My wife was like, I’m so glad you’re handling that. And I was glad to. I want my daughter to be prepared. But I think it was her sophomore year in high school, and she was volunteering, I do believe, to support the National Honor Society induction. And it dawned on me that she’s going to be participating in this next year, two years from now. It finally hit me in the late spring of her sophomore year. I’ve got two more years with her, and she could be gone forever when she graduates high school.

Bernard Drew [00:06:19]:
I have no more, for lack of better words, control where she goes to college. I want her to have a confident choice where she goes. She could go to the other side of the country, and she could then plant roots somewhere else, and this might be it. And I started being almost, not quite overwhelmed, but my mind being inundated with, oh, my God, I got two years to prepare her for what life has in store. Store. And I started to come up with this master list of things that I’m like, oh, she’s got to know this and do that, do this and do that, and I got to prepare for this. And I’ll just say, I think I was being prayerful and just in conversation with God. The Holy Spirit was like, whoa, son, slow down.

Bernard Drew [00:06:53]:
You’re doing too much. Do you trust the seeds that have already been planted? Do you trust the demonstrated leadership, love, kindness, and principles you’ve already expressed to her? If you trust that the seeds that were planted were helpful, they were healthy, they were appropriate, they were going in the right direction, then now is not the time to get hasty and start stirring, covering things up unjustly. Trust the seeds that have been planted. And at this stage, you have to make sure you’re trusting me to be inside of her, to give her the guidance, the insight, the resilience she’s going to need. And if nothing else, who is the village that’s around her that you can be intentional to cultivate and nurture that at a stage where it’s probably easy for her to be like, oh, there’s my dad talking again. There’s my dad with another lecture. Who are the other people that are in our social circles that she can be entrusted to spend time with? And they may also sprinkle some principles in her life to water the seeds that have already been planted. And I’ll say that was one of the single greatest pivots and perspectives that ever happened, because then she was able to begin discovering the principles that were inside of her, that she owned and she believed for herself, because she chose to.

Bernard Drew [00:08:00]:
As opposed to feeling like, oh, there’s my dad telling me what to do again, she was able list a little bit more, able to determine like, no, this is who I am, because I chose to decide that this is who I am. And I would say that’s a perpetual journey I’m still on of keeping an eye on where that balance is.

Christopher Lewis [00:08:16]:
It’s never easy, and it’s definitely something you have to work on because inevitably we step over the line and then they smack us and they say, you’ve stepped over the line. And they tell us that especially as they get older. And they will definitely do that. I’ve had that happen to me numerous times now. It sounds from everything that you’re saying that you have done some very intentional things to be able to build the relationship that you have with your daughter. Talk to me about what some of those intentional ways were that you did to work to strengthen that bond with your daughter, especially, let’s say, during challenging times.

Bernard Drew [00:08:55]:
I would like to think that I have a ironclad answer, but I just have to speak towards. It’s a journey. We’re all always evolving and all always learning. I do believe early on, and I’ll just be candid, I think one of the strongest things that she saw was that her dad loved her and loves her mom, and that regardless of what, there’s no other priority that goes above them next to God. And so I think for her to see that and know that over the years. And does that mean perfection? No. But I think there’s an unequivocal understanding that dad prioritizes you. You matter.

Bernard Drew [00:09:28]:
You are important. It is a joy to spend time with you, and time with you is valuable to me. And I think that that has paid major, major dividends because it’s not a foreign thought. So whether things are going exceptionally well in her life and dad is hanging out with her, that’s a normal thing. Or if things are really tough and unclear and some strain, she knows dad is there. And so I think a lot of that stemmed from just the early years of her knowing, hey, my dad loves spending time with me, and this is important to him. And I think that has paid incredible dividends over the years.

Christopher Lewis [00:10:03]:
So none of us are infallible. None of us. All of us as fathers, have made mistakes along the way. What’s a mistake that you’ve made as a father, and what did you learn from it about fostering positive communication or other things in relation to yourself as a father?

Bernard Drew [00:10:22]:
Great question. I can think of a number of areas, if it comes down to it. Whereup, Mr. Mark there. Mr. Mark there. I think one that stands out the most to me, kind of that same vein of that earlier revelation about, hey, stop doing too much, give her space to flourish with what’s already been planted. I would say in a similar capacity, I had the hard conversations with her all the time, and included in that with boys.

Bernard Drew [00:10:44]:
And so I don’t have excessive regret here, but enough to be like, oh, yeah, I was probably over the top. I kind of had a zero tolerance policy. I don’t want to hear a boy calling you. I don’t want to have any boys showing up at the house. I just, whatever, just stay focused on your studies, and I don’t want to hear anything about it. And as much as that was well intended and I think it’s done as well and she’s still doing well today, in hindsight, I’m like, you know what, Bernard? Your parents were fairly rigid, but they weren’t that rigid. And there’s some virtue to allowing kids while they’re under my roof. If I’d have done it all over again, I probably would have created a safer space for her to explore and navigate relationships while under our roof.

Bernard Drew [00:11:27]:
In a space where if and when, because we all make goofy decisions as we’re navigating relationships, I probably would have been in a better position to kind of observe from a closer distance. And coach and help course correct and then give insight because we’re sitting here, right here, observing it. And I’m grateful that she didn’t go off the deep end or anything too extreme, at least that I know of. But it’s something that I wish I could have coached her on that a little bit more while she was close to home. I think our. I don’t know if I’ll call it Saving grace was in her case. She left for school, had one year of undergrad, and then Covid hit and she came back home again for a year and a half. And so I kind of got a second chance in that space.

Bernard Drew [00:12:07]:
But if I were to have given myself some different advice, it would have been to give her more opportunity to make a few mistakes and learn from them while she was in the house and nurtured more of that coaching dad dynamic with her earlier versus later. Yet I’m grateful that it has worked out well.

Christopher Lewis [00:12:25]:
So today, or as she was growing up, what did or do you do intentionally to make your daughter feel valued and heard?

Bernard Drew [00:12:34]:
It’s a journey and a spectrum. I think the valued piece I enjoy spending time with her. The things that she enjoyed, I learned to enjoy. Some of her favorite shows became some of my favorite shows. The volume of inside jokes she and I have today as a result of all of those shared experiences between you and I. And I guess whoever sees this, my wife, I think, is almost jealous sometimes because we have just a volume of things that we delved into that she knows she was valued. And I spent that time with her in terms of her voice. You know, it’s interesting.

Bernard Drew [00:13:02]:
I think I kind of grew up in an era that it was like, hey, I hate to say it, kids are seen and not heard. I think I had a certain dynamic of that through much of her elementary years, middle school years, like, hey, just do what we told you to do, and that’s it. And I think as high school evolved, she had a tough pivot transitioning into her high school. And I think that was the time frame where she and I began discovering that I needed to leave more room for her voice because this is her school experience. And though we kind of made the decision where she would go, she needed to take ownership and find joy in it. And so I think that was the season where we sit at the kitchen table and we’d have long conversations and I would listen to her talk to me about the challenges she was having at the school and how she was navigating certain challenges and allowing her voice to actually be heard and not just quiet it, because I’m dad and your daughter. And I think that was a turning point for us that allowed her voice to be valued as much as I thought that I valued her.

Christopher Lewis [00:14:02]:
And how do you support your daughter now, or as she was growing up, getting into college, et cetera, in pursuing the dreams and the passions that she has?

Bernard Drew [00:14:13]:
Man, I’ll definitely say this. I think that is one of the greatest roles as a father, is affirming for her that she has value. I mean, candidly, the card I gave her today, it had two words in there, power and purpose. She knows I’m the corny dad. And yep, I will have a lecture ready any given minute and it’s going to be corny and it’s that and the other. But it is what it is. And so even today, the card I gave her for her birthday talked about purpose and power and affirming for her that inside of her you have power. There is a limitless power inside of you to be able to curate the life that you desire.

Bernard Drew [00:14:44]:
And while doing that, to make the impact that you’ve been called to do, you have purpose. And so that has been a heavy dynamic. When she was approaching her 13 birthday, I was kind of inspired. I grew up in a community that had a strong Jewish population. And so I had a lot of friends that were in Hebrew school. And by the time they got to 13, having their bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs and being able to demonstrate a level of maturity and adulthood and command of their faith. Her 13th birthday, we kept it fun and light. That’s the joy my wife brings to the table.

Bernard Drew [00:15:14]:
She keeps things real light and fun most of the time. But I did have my daughter actually read several books, books and write me reports on purpose leading up to her 13th birthday. And I had her assemble those thoughts in her own phrasing, her own lens of life at 12 going on 13 on what purpose means and how important is purpose in your life and how do you express purpose and why is purpose important to other people around you? And so she put together a, I don’t know how long it was, maybe a five to seven minute talk presentation at her 13th birthday party with family, friends and folks assembled. And as much as he have fun cake and did all kind of fun stuff and games with her friends, there was a segment where she got to express this understanding of purpose and what it means to her. And I think those are the kind of things that in their totality, that is one of the Things I think helped continue to affirm for her. I see purpose inside of you and you as you discover for yourself, a confidence in who you are. There’s no limit to what you can do in your life. And so if I fast forward, I’m inspired that she harnessed that and I think, think that type of journey she’s had is what fuels her.

Bernard Drew [00:16:23]:
Having pursued an undergraduate degree in elementary education, she wants to impact the lives of kids and she’s doing that even now.

Christopher Lewis [00:16:31]:
What’s a tradition or a routine that you and your daughter have created together that strengthen your bond?

Bernard Drew [00:16:36]:
Again, it evolves over time, but most of it, can I tell you, it involves quality time. And I don’t know if I’ve done a deep analysis of the five love languages in her life. Maybe I should. But I’ll say this, this, that quality time with her, whether it was the watching the Disney shows with her when she was at her youngest, I will say I think she had been in the first grade and we had a routine every morning and we did this for several years that before going to school she would come into my office and we would read together. I was introducing her to the Bible and so she was spending some time just getting familiar and telling me her thoughts about what she had read. And it gave us opportunity just to connect. And we did that for several years. That was first thing in the morning before going to school.

Bernard Drew [00:17:17]:
And so I think those kind of moments, moments definitely over time set the tone that hey, dad wants to spend time with me. And so in terms of routine, those were routine at that time. But as she’s grown older, I’ll just say the engagement isn’t nearly as routine. But I think the routine early on set the tone that man, I value that quality time with you and you can communicate your genuine authentic thoughts. And it’s evolved into the kind of relationship where my wife is definitely one who goes to bed early because she wakes up extra early. My daughter and I tend to be more night owl and it’s not uncommon whether it was in high school while she was navigating undergrad and was living with us. It’s not uncommon for us to cross paths in the kitchen at 8:30 at night and just sit at the kitchen table and talk for two, three, four hours and just talk. And that I believe is one of the greatest gifts in life, that she enjoys hanging out with her dad.

Bernard Drew [00:18:11]:
So I’m thankful. Quality time.

Christopher Lewis [00:18:12]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad connection six, which are six questions that are gonna delve a little bit more into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Bernard Drew [00:18:21]:
I don’t think I have another choice. Go for.

Christopher Lewis [00:18:23]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughter?

Bernard Drew [00:18:26]:
I would say fun.

Christopher Lewis [00:18:27]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received?

Bernard Drew [00:18:32]:
Again, I have to go with just train them up in the direction they’re supposed to go in. Just train them early. They have their own path to take. Train them early, and then you have confidence that they’ll flourish in the assignment and into the character that they’re supposed to walk in.

Christopher Lewis [00:18:45]:
You already talked about this a little bit, but what’s one activity that you and your daughter love doing together today?

Bernard Drew [00:18:51]:
Watching movies. So now that she’s got her own home, it’s kind of fun that it’s not uncommon. I’ll go over to her house, and we’ll sit up and watch a movie or two and just hang out and talk and so movies. I think we’ve done three Broadway shows together now. Also, my wife’s not the greatest fan of theater, but my daughter and I will go, and those are some of the greatest things that we enjoy doing.

Christopher Lewis [00:19:11]:
If you could give your daughter one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Bernard Drew [00:19:16]:
Your life is always resilient. With the love of God. You can always bounce back from anything. Just keep your trust in him.

Christopher Lewis [00:19:22]:
And what’s one one thing that you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Bernard Drew [00:19:27]:
I would say there’s probably been no sacrifice that’s been made for the wellness of my kids. It wasn’t worth it.

Christopher Lewis [00:19:32]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Bernard Drew [00:19:40]:
I think authenticity, the level of authenticity that loves and meets them where they are and loves them, nurtures and encourages them from where they are. The other side of that coin is the level of authenticity to learn to love and forgive yourself. I think sometimes as men and as dads, I’m not gonna overgeneralize here, but sometimes we can be bound to the ignorance we may have had in the past and think that that has to dictate whatever pathways to the future. And the reality is, just like, there’s an endless opportunity for our kids to evolve. There’s an endless opportunity for us to evolve. And so I would extend to dads, you’re worth the time to reinvest in you. If it’s reading certain books, if it is is therapy, if it’s counseling, if it is just finding a safe space and environment where you can talk freely and get certain things off your chest. And maybe here’s some other perspectives.

Bernard Drew [00:20:30]:
You’re worth that opportunity, too. And as much as you may fight so hard to to create safe spaces for other people, give yourself the same grace to find some space for you to evolve into the best version of yourself, too.

Christopher Lewis [00:20:43]:
Well, Bernard, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here today, for sharing the unique journey of you and your daughter. As you said, it’s always evolving. It’s changing, but it is so exciting to hear about the strong bond that you and your daughter have. And I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here and I wish you the best.

Bernard Drew [00:21:01]:
Thank you very much. And again, I just appreciate you doing this. I think one of the greatest relationships on the planet is the relationship with a dad and his daughter. And for dads to be encouraged and coached and inspired. Probably one of the single greatest investments that can be made in anybody’s lifetime. So thank you for making this commitment. Greatly appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:18]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build strong, stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Speaker D [00:21:49]:
We’re all in the same boat

Christopher Lewis [00:21:56]:
is

Speaker D [00:21:56]:
full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenter and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can

Bernard Drew [00:22:39]:
be

Speaker D [00:22:42]:
Be the best dad you can be.

Humor, Heart & Hard Truths: Dads Guiding Daughters Toward Adulthood

September 1, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

If you’re a dad who wants to create a lasting, meaningful bond with your daughter, you won’t want to miss this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection. Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Rob Finlay—bestselling author, accomplished entrepreneur, and dad of four (including three daughters)—for an honest, heartwarming discussion about the joys and challenges of fatherhood.

From the start, Dr. Lewis emphasizes that being a great dad is less about perfection and more about presence and intentional connection. There’s no universal playbook for fatherhood, especially when it comes to raising girls who are confident and independent. That’s why he brings in guests like Rob, who candidly shares both his successes and the lessons learned through mistakes.

One standout theme is the importance of vulnerability and authenticity. Rob talks about never hiding his emotions from his daughters, showing them by example that strength and sensitivity aren’t mutually exclusive. He wanted his girls to see a father who could be both a gentleman and deeply caring—teaching by doing rather than merely telling.

Throughout the conversation, both Dr. Lewis and Rob stress the value of teaching resilience and self-reliance. Rob encouraged his daughters to try new things, pushed them to stick with commitments, and allowed them to experience failure—knowing these moments are key to personal growth. He highlights the importance of letting daughters step into adulthood on their terms, supporting them with guidance rather than control.

Another powerful insight is Rob’s approach to life skills. Prompted by a late-night call from his daughter (“Can I put the green gas in my Jeep?”), Rob realized the value of giving kids the foundational tools they need to navigate adulthood—from financial conversations to problem-solving. His new book, Hey Dad, Everything You Should Have Learned About Life But Didn’t, is packed with practical, real-world advice and a healthy dose of humor to make learning approachable.

Fatherhood isn’t static, and the parent-child relationship evolves—what matters is open, honest communication and the willingness to keep learning together. Whether you’re helping your daughter make big life decisions or just sharing a favorite meal, every interaction counts.

Ready to be inspired? Listen to this heartfelt episode and take away actionable tips to deepen your connection with your daughter. Tune in at Dad and Daughter Connection—and start building those strong, confident relationships, one day at a time.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work together on this journey that we’re on. Learning more, doing more, and trying to be the dads that we want to be, to be able to build those connections that we want with our daughters one day at a time. And I first and foremost want to say thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:13]:
Thank you for always coming back every week and putting yourself out there to learn more. Because all of us are a work in progress and to be honest, none of us know everything that we need to know to be able to be the dads that we want to be. Becoming a dad does not have a playbook. It does. There’s no right way to father. But there’s a lot of things that you can learn along the way to help you to be that engaged, more present dad that you want to become. And especially in raising daughters, there are so many things that we can do to be able to build those positive relationships through positive communication. And that’s why every week I love being able to bring you different people, different people with different experiences that can help you to be able to add some tools to your own toolbox that you can then take into the day to day experiences that you’re having with your daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:06]:
Today we got another great guest. Rob Findlay is with us today. And Rob’s not only a best selling author and accomplished entrepreneur, but also a dad of four. And as a part of those four, he has three daughters. His personal stories of late night calls for help paired with his professional expertise make him unique, uniquely qualified to speak to parents about raising capable, confident young adults. Plus, his engaging, no nonsense delivery resonates with anyone who ever who has ever googled how to reset a circuit breaker at 2:00am I love that. And we’re going to be talking about a brand new book that he has called hey, dad, everything you should have learned about life but didn’t. And it is definitely a humorous and practical guide to the real world lessons that every young adult needs to know, but that are not always taught.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:56]:
So we’re going to be talking about his book as well as, first and foremost, learning more about him as a dad. But, Rob, thank you so much for being here today.

Rob Finlay [00:03:04]:
Oh, thank you so much for having me on the show. I’ll tell you, I Wish you existed 20 plus years ago when I had daughters, because I’ll tell you, I grew up in a family with a brother, dad and mom, but. But maybe a little bit more traditional where it was very much a man’s household. And in fact, I go so far as my mom wouldn’t even put pantyhose that she would buy from the grocery store in the same bag. My brother and I could see it. So I grew up without any real understanding of what it was like to have a sister or anything until Lord blessed me one day with three beautiful daughters and I had no idea what I was doing. So I wish you were there years ago for me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:45]:
Well, you can still learn and you never stop being a father to a daughter. So there’s always going to be more things to learn along the way. So that being said, I want to learn a little bit more about you as a dad, seeing that you come from that background. I guess as you think back to your daughters and raising your daughters, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve shared with your daughters and what made it so special?

Rob Finlay [00:04:07]:
I think one of the things is I was never afraid to show emotions in front of my daughters. I think that was a very different departure from maybe where I was, but they would know. And now it’s almost the joke of they see a movie with a dog dying or something sad in the movie that dad will cry. And I think it was important for them to see that emotion. At the same point, I also wanted them to see what I wanted to portray as a male to them, which is I’m polite, I’m respectful, I have manners, I have etiquette. Right? These are the things that were important. So I wanted to be a gentleman and maybe a little bit on the macho side, but also showing that I had enough sensitivity and tenderness that I could support them at either direction.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:49]:
As you just said that. I mean, you said you weren’t afraid to show that vulnerability, but at the same time, you also had that macho side as well. And so there’s A balance between both sides of that personality. And as you’re raising daughters, you’re trying to balance, also guiding them to give them the independence to grow into their own person. And so how did you do that?

Rob Finlay [00:05:15]:
I think it was about pushing them. I actually believe that I wanted to see them fail. I wanted to see. And I know that’s very hard. I mean, parents can’t. And probably back at the time, I probably didn’t. But in hindsight, I was much more open to them exploring their own paths and pushing them, but not being overbearing. I wanted them to have interest and do things on their own, keep them focused.

Rob Finlay [00:05:37]:
If they made a commitment to do cello, well, you’re going to take Chiello. You’re not going to try it for two days and then quit. You’re going to do it and you’re going to try it. But if you don’t like it after that, or if you. If you’re really horrible at it, doesn’t really matter, but at least you’ve tried it. And so those were some of the things that I did. One of the important things that I feel that for young adults and for young kids is to have a broader experience with other adults and other people outside their friend groups. And this was critical for me, that I wanted to make sure that my girls and my son, too, were comfortable networking, having adult conversations, and being exposed to things other than just mom and dad in their friend group.

Rob Finlay [00:06:19]:
And so since they were young, you had them in farming groups. I would have them come to business meals with me just so they could see what it was like to be exposed to something other than just the sort of the family unit.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:33]:
As I said at the very beginning, going through this process of raising daughters is a learning process for all of us as fathers. And there are specific things that we all can do to be able to strengthen that bond with our daughters. For you, with three daughters, what are some intentional ways that you have done, have worked in the past or are currently working to strengthen your bonds with your daughters, and especially during challenging times?

Rob Finlay [00:07:00]:
I think, first of all, the young women that I see today, the young women that are my. My daughters, those are my daughters, we said, like, when they’re in their 20s, are very different than the young women that I knew 25 years ago when I was a young man. And the young ladies today that I’ve created and I’ve seen are much more independent. And therefore, the needs that they have tend to be more of financial understanding and business understanding and things like that. And my Daughters typically will come to me with questions that are much more about their financial independence than it is about navigating their own personal life or personal relationships. There I think there was a stage not, you know, all fathers, I think, go through this where your daughter is the apple in your eye and she’s there and she’s with you all the time and she’ll tell you everything. Then she goes to this different stage where maybe she’s not as comfortable talking to you about boyfriends and things that they’re doing. But then it comes back around where now these boyfriends are becoming, okay, this is not just a boyfriend, this is actually a serious relationship and we want to move in together.

Rob Finlay [00:08:06]:
So we start having those dialogues of that where it’s a very different situation. It’s not dad being emotional saying, okay, I’m bringing a boy to the house for the first time, it’s dad, this could be my life partner for life. And what are the things that I have to think about from a practical or even a, I don’t want to say business, but a financial standpoint. And that’s where these conversations have started. And these are very difficult conversations because at 20 some odd years old, these are adult conversations. When you’re talking about, one of my daughters has a very good job, her boyfriend does not, they’re sharing expenses, they’re living together. So now it becomes a different thing of, okay, well how do you protect these things that are yours and yet still have these relationships? And it’s almost equivalent to what a prenup agreement is to an adult. You’re now having these conversations with people who are in their early stage of adulting, just launching.

Rob Finlay [00:08:56]:
And they have so much to do anyways with just launching. They’re on this what I call magic carpet ride of life where from the day they’re born, basically until they have this big life moment which is graduation, and get thrown into the real world, everything is coming at them all at once. And now you have to compound it with some pretty difficult grown up conversations.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:16]:
So talk to me about that because you are having those conversations. And as I’m listening to that, I know I have a daughter in college right now, she’s not at that point yet. How do you approach that without stepping over the line and stepping into a lane that, that they don’t want you in? In that regard, I think at this.

Rob Finlay [00:09:36]:
Point is this is where you let your child fail to a level where it’s acceptable. But there are times where father knows best, even though they don’t like it and sometimes. But I’ve been around the block. I’ve experienced this myself. And so coming to them with this conversation, I think it’s more of the approach where I want them to come to their own conclusions, but the questions that I lead will prompt them. It’s not that I’m trying to show influence over my daughter, but rather use my influence to let them come and make the right decisions themselves. And they are hard. The first move in boyfriend is.

Rob Finlay [00:10:12]:
Is the big one, and we live together, and it’s gonna be wonderful. Oh, okay. But let me ask you, what would happen if, first things first, you get a pet together? Who gets the pet if something happens? Just think about. You make your own decisions. I think I’m very quick to do that with my girls. I want them to make the decisions, but let them know the consequences, the things that they don’t think about. Because you’re like, you’re at a. At an all you can eat buffet.

Rob Finlay [00:10:35]:
You want to eat as much as you possib you can without the consequences of, oh, geez, I just ate way too much later that night. And so it is about having the mind. And I think the important part of all of this is the demeanor that I have to provide to my daughters is one of very calm. And my wife is usually very good to maybe give me a little pinch. Right. If we’re on the call and I might get a little excited, they can hear it in my voice. I have to detune it a little bit because I think. And at least with my own experience, and it’s also a little skewed for me, because my day job is my business, just like yours.

Rob Finlay [00:11:08]:
You’re at the university. My day job is at a business, and I hire a lot of young analysts right out of college. And predominantly, they are young men. And so my management style with them is different. And just like with my son, my conversation, my tone with my son is very different. With my daughters, including each individual daughter, there’s a different approach to talk to each one. And so it just comes back to the demeanor has to be set, and the conversation, the tone has to be set commensurate with the child.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:38]:
You know, I know that there have been plenty of times that I’ve made mistakes, and none of us are infallible. What’s a mistake that you’ve made as a father, and what did you learn about it in regards to fostering a positive connection with your daughters?

Rob Finlay [00:11:50]:
Well, I’ll tell you, there’s a lot of things. I mean, the whole Purpose of the book that I wrote was because of a late night phone call just on a certain instance. And I realized, have I taught my kids everything that they should know to go be an adult? And not that you have to know everything because you learn as an adult, you learn every day. But, but have I given them the foundation? Go out, get out on their own, get a job, get an apartment, make friends, become a good healthy adult. All of these things have I built them the foundation? And then it starts to do the. Where it spirals as a father, like, well, geez, you know what? I spent all my younger years when they were around trying to build a business thinking that it was important for me to provide for them. And maybe the providing that I should have given was maybe more emotional and less financial. So it starts to come around as what did I do wrong as a father? Now, fortunately I have a good relationship with all of my kids and but this book has really sort of opened up my eyes where I look back at all these things that I don’t know that I taught them.

Rob Finlay [00:12:49]:
Was it because I wasn’t there? Was I an absent father? Or was it maybe in many cases I told them and they didn’t listen, or was it because I wanted to take care of them? And I’m very guilty of that with my girls. My girls, if they know if there was a light that went on in their car, all they had to do is go up and say, hey dad, Daddy, there’s a light on in my car. And I would go run fix it it, I wouldn’t make them do it. Now in hindsight would have been better for me to push them back to solve their own problems.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:17]:
So let’s talk about your book. And as I mentioned, you do have this brand new book called hey dad, everything you should have learned about life but didn’t. And one of the things that I noticed when looking at the book, you talk about that green handle moment in your book and it’s a powerful moment. So it was that call that you got. And so tell me more about that call. But what did that call from your daughter teach you about the importance of dad and daughter communications in the transition to adulthood?

Rob Finlay [00:13:46]:
So the call to put give your listeners sort of the perspective, it’s the middle of the night, probably one or two o’clock in the morning, which for me that’s, that’s bedtime. I’m already asleep for hours here. And every parent fears this call in the middle of the night. And I got it and I look over and it’s one of my daughters calling. And I knew she was on a road trip. She was traveling from Wisconsin to go down to Austin, Texas. They were looking for a job. She was a college senior at the time.

Rob Finlay [00:14:12]:
And I’m panicked because my kids know that a call this late doesn’t. That has to be an emergency. She picked up, and I was like, what’s wrong? Because that’s my first instinct. What is wrong? Can I put the green gas in my Jeep? Nope. Hey, dad. Sorry to bother you. No, nothing. It’s just a very quick.

Rob Finlay [00:14:27]:
Can I put the green gas in my Jeep? And my heart rate has to come down, comes down. I’m starting to pain. I’m like, starting to think, okay, I’m woken up. Like, I finally realized, are you talking about diesel? Are you thinking about putting diesel in your Jeep? And she was almost hostile with me. Like, how dare I even. Yes, can I do it? Like, she was frustrated with me asking questions. And at that point I realized, like, you know, obviously, maybe I didn’t teach her this. This is shame on me.

Rob Finlay [00:14:52]:
But also at the same point, I felt like, was it because it was easier to call me than to go and look at it on her own? Right. Could she have done research? Could she have gone on Google? Right. I mean, we’re in the Internet society. There’s. There’s ways to get answers. And so I think it was more about that she wanted to reach out to me, to look for advice, to maybe in a reassuring moment, because there were some factors there that were going on, such as there was not to spoil this section of the book. It was. We had a fuel crisis on the east coast at that time, and none of the gas stations had gas.

Rob Finlay [00:15:25]:
And, you know, even while dad said, it’s probably not a great time to do a trip, how can I stop her from going? But it was more of like, is she just trying to get some reassurance? And I think that comes down to one of the things that I feel, and this is that moment, is I think my kids and my girls in particular know what to do. But sometimes it’s nice to have a little bit of reassurance. It’s reassurance from dad that, yeah, I am doing the right thing. Yes, I’m going to be okay, or maybe I’m not doing the right thing and maybe I should do this or think differently about it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:54]:
So that kind of leads into another part in your book where you talk about letting your kids call you or as a father, into the playing field. Only when they’re ready. So how has that approach shaped your relationship with your daughters over time?

Rob Finlay [00:16:10]:
Look, I’m a businessman. I have no medical credentials, no nothing. It’s me as a dad trying to do the best I can. I think I probably pushed my kids out into situations probably faster than I should have. Now, it’s also siblings, right? So, I mean, the easiest way to go get a sibling to swim is to watch their other siblings swim. Of course, they want to do that naturally. And so while it’s probably more sheltering and sheltered with my son and then my next daughter, and then by the time the fourth one comes around, you’re a little bit more like, go ahead, go do these things. Go take responsibilities, having jobs, having chores, the girls grew up on a farm, about opening up and seeing things that are really, you’re not going to see on TV and you’re not going to see on social media.

Rob Finlay [00:16:54]:
And I think that was a big thing. And I think when I was writing this book, one of the things that I really wanted to do was go out and seek experts in the field of everything from finding an apartment to maintaining a car to what to do in emergencies, banking, insurance, taxes, all the things that I think are of core foundational purpose for young adults to become adults. And I think what I really did with this was I tried to mirror it, it to what my girls were learning and what I want them to learn going forward.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:26]:
Is there a story that you can share where that strategy for you either built more trust or even backfired?

Rob Finlay [00:17:33]:
The first thing I’ve learned, and I’m sure a lot of fathers know this, especially if their daughters are in. In dating age, if you say you don’t like the boy, he’s staying. I’ve learned very quickly that there are things that I do now that have backfired. When I try to say, you know what? A young man who’s coming to date, you should have a firm handshake. He should look at me in the eye. He should be polite. He should be polite to you. He should give attention to you, right? He should.

Rob Finlay [00:17:55]:
And when I realized that there’s a different way, once again, it comes back to the conversation. Letting them know, if I don’t like this guy, he doesn’t shake my hand, right? All that’s going to do is say, oh, that’s going to be my new boyfriend. But if I talk about how I’ve noticed these young men at my office, how great they are by being polite, or how important it is, and even this comes down to how I am as a father in particular. This is just a purely on relationship side, but my wife requires us to do once a week, date night, to spend time together. Not on our phone, not with everything. And I think the kids and, and my girls see that. It’s like it’s important that somebody give you attention, focus on you and make you feel special, because that is what you are to me. But dad’s blue in the face until I tell you how special you are.

Rob Finlay [00:18:41]:
I hear you, dad. I hear you. I hear you. But somebody else has to do that. And making them expect that is part of that learning of being an adult is getting the respect of yourself first.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:52]:
A lot of times in my experience as a father, I have noticed that a lot of the life lessons that you see out in memes, in writing, a lot of that is focused on sons. Especially when you look at things like self reliance or money management or dealing with failure, There’s a lot of that out in the world. How did writing this book change or reinforce the kind of life lessons you think daughters specifically need from their dads today?

Rob Finlay [00:19:22]:
Personally, I don’t differentiate the two. I think there’s a couple things. One is I think the skills that I’m trying to talk about, the foundational skills that I talk about in my book are truly just what every adult. It doesn’t matter what you are, every adult needs to know how to do these basic things. This isn’t like one plus one. This is actually just more foundational. Right? It’s not about. About how to tie a tie, but rather when you should wear a tie or obviously daughter something different.

Rob Finlay [00:19:47]:
But to me, when I wrote the book, I wanted everybody to have these foundations because I think no matter what it is, if even it’s about life, it’s all the same. I can tell you though, what I have learned in all of this is that doing the research and talking to other parents, and talking to other parents in particular, it seems like the young ladies are actually more confident and are doing better and are at a very, very different path than young men. And I know that it’s not as popular of a conversation because I personally think everybody should be lifted. You should never have one group of people below the other. Everybody should be lifted. Everybody should. Being successful and having a good life. So after I wrote this book and talked to my girls and my son about it, it really became more of I think I’ve done okay, but not by me.

Rob Finlay [00:20:31]:
It’s probably because they’re smart, they’re independent, and they Take it upon themselves. And yes, they’ll ask crazy questions, questions, but it’s also a matter of time. Young adults today have not just their parents talking to them or their relationship with their dad, but they also have their relationship with social media. And so the influence that social media has, especially on some of these life lessons, is huge. A lot bigger than when I was growing up. As what mom and dad said, that was pretty much it. And yeah, my buddies, they’d be influences, but I don’t have a screen showing me what I should be making for a job. I don’t have a screen showing me how, at any moment, being compared to something.

Rob Finlay [00:21:05]:
And so I really do believe that it comes down to as parents. And the best thing that we can do with our sons and daughters is to encourage them to have confidence in themselves, give them the tools to be confident adults, because it comes quick and it comes pretty fast. And I know our first instinct is to protect them from it and keep them all. Let them save more money, let them stay at home, let them stay under the nest. I don’t know if that’s necessarily the best thing for young adults to get out into this world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:31]:
Your book has a lot of humor in it. And what role do you think humor plays in building deeper connections between fathers and daughters, especially when navigating those adulting fails?

Rob Finlay [00:21:43]:
Look, life is too stressful as it is. We have to, at some point, lighten up and make sure that we focus on what is really important. I look back in the fall we have when. When college acceptance come around, and the stress of these young adults and their parents is criminal. It’s absolutely criminal. The pressure that we put on for something. And this goes back to when I noticed the same thing. My first chapter on the book is probably one of the most profound and probably one of the hardest ones for me to.

Rob Finlay [00:22:10]:
To write because it was about emotion. It was like all of a sudden you’re on this, what I call that magic carpet ride, and it stops. And you as a young adult, are now faced with where to live, what to do for a job, all these other factors, and it might be too much for you, and it becomes overwhelming. And one of my daughters just recently went through this where she didn’t know where she was going to live. She didn’t know what she was going to do for a job. Her career path through college had changed because the market had changed. And this poor thing, the stress consumed her. And at some point I just had to laugh and just say, listen, this just life, it’s Important, but relax.

Rob Finlay [00:22:44]:
And so one of the first things I do when I talk to young adults, just take a deep breath. The decision you make today on your first job or where you’re going to live is not going to be your last decision. You are going to make these decisions. So having humor and putting that in sort of lightens the load a little bit. It’s also sort of my style, too. I don’t want to stress them out even more. Oh, my gosh, yes, you need to have the right job. Because if you don’t have the right job first, well, you’ll never get your second job.

Rob Finlay [00:23:08]:
The second job won’t be great. I don’t think that is beneficial. Letting him relax, going into a situation. It was actually probably the Navy SEAL who I interviewed in the book was probably on emergencies, probably tied it all back to me, which was he’s like, look, when people get anxious, they make mistakes. And so relax. Understand the situation. If you can relax, then you can find your way out of it. So in that same tune.

Rob Finlay [00:23:31]:
So it’s sort of fitting that that last part of the book is what to do in Emergencies, written by a Navy SEAL and an emergency parameter medic. What ties back into the first part, which is my people that I interviewed were clinical psychologists and psychiatrists and how to tie it back, which is just relax. You can make good decisions if you relax and think clearly.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:50]:
Now, your book also emphasizes getting a plan and visualizing a life. How can dads help daughters develop a life direction without overwhelming them with their own expectations?

Rob Finlay [00:24:02]:
For me, one of the stories I put in there is actually one of my daughters loves hiking. Hiking loves being in the outdoors. And we sort of talk about that hiking path, right? And so I asked her, I’m like, well, what do you like in hiking? Like, how do you pick what you want to go? And she would say, well, if I want to hike on the beach, I go pick a hike towards the beach. If I want to hike in the mountains, I want to go pick a hike in the mountains. And we use that as an analogy to sort of talk about life. Well, where do you want to go? Do you want to be in science or what? So trying to take their interests and tie it back into a story, more of a narrative, into helping them. Them pick what they want. And if you can equate it back to things that are simple like a hike, she’s like, oh, wait, hike.

Rob Finlay [00:24:43]:
Yeah, I really like science. And you know what the best part about a hike is? If you don’t like it, you can turn left, right, or go back. You can do different things. And so using those kind of stories and those kind of tools will help them write the narrative of their own. I also believe in a lot in visualization. Describe to me. I love movies, I love television shows. And so I’m always like, let’s create a scene for me.

Rob Finlay [00:25:06]:
Where do you work? Give me a picture of that. Talk to me. Are you driving into the office or are you walking knowing would you live in a city or would you be in the suburbs? And letting them build their own story in their brain. And that helps them get the sort of the, the, the destination and the direction started. It’s not going to be everything, but it’s going to give them the start.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:26]:
Now, if people want to find out more about the book, about you, where should they go?

Rob Finlay [00:25:30]:
So they can go to heydadbook.com which is all about the book. If they want to learn more about me and the, the other stuff I’ve done, they can go to rob finlay.com that’s f I n l a y.com also on all the social media stuff. So I try to show things from work, things from the book, things from the farm, try to make it as interesting as I can.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:53]:
Now I always finish our interviews with what I call our dad Connection 6, which asks you six more questions to delve a little bit more into you and your relationship with your daughters. Are you ready?

Rob Finlay [00:26:04]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:05]:
What’s one word that describes your relationships with your daughters?

Rob Finlay [00:26:08]:
Strong.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:09]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice you’ve ever received?

Rob Finlay [00:26:13]:
Don’t give up.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:14]:
What’s one activity that you and your daughters love doing together?

Rob Finlay [00:26:18]:
Eating. They’re going to hate me, by the way, when they get this. They’re going to, they’re going to like, follow me. I’m going to hear all about this.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:23]:
If you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Rob Finlay [00:26:28]:
Be happy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:29]:
What’s one thing that you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Rob Finlay [00:26:34]:
That I actually have it in.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:36]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Rob Finlay [00:26:43]:
Be open and honest and communicate well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:46]:
Rob, I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your own journey with your daughters. Thank you for putting this book out into the world. I’ll definitely put links in the notes today for everyone to be able to find you and find the book. But I truly appreciate all that you’re doing to be able to help fathers to connect with their kids in different ways, help young adults to make that transition into adulthood and more. And I wish you all the best.

Rob Finlay [00:27:15]:
Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun. Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:17]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Performer [00:27:48]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can be.

Strengthening Father-Daughter Bonds: Lessons from Broadcaster David Andrews

June 16, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Building a strong, meaningful connection with your daughter doesn’t come with a manual—a truth at the heart of every episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast. In a recent interview, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with David Andrews, Lansing’s beloved news anchor and a proud father of three daughters, to dive into the joys and challenges of being a dad.

This heartwarming episode is packed with both relatable moments and insightful advice for dads at any stage of their parenting journey. David openly shares that fatherhood, especially to three daughters with very different personalities, has been “a crash course” in love, patience, and adaptability. Yet, through each unique relationship, a single lesson rings true: being present and intentional is what builds lasting bonds.

Intentional Connection

A recurring theme of the conversation is the power of simply being there. David recounts the choice he and his wife made to adjust their work schedules, ensuring one parent was always home. By prioritizing presence, not perfection, David built trust and closeness with each daughter. From doing Austin’s hair in the mornings to spontaneous fishing trips with Carson as an adult, these moments weren’t just about activities—they were about making memories and fostering meaningful conversations.

Guidance and Independence

David is honest about the tricky balance between guiding your kids and letting them carve their own paths. He emphasizes the importance of supporting unique dreams—even when they take unexpected turns, like his daughter transitioning from tattoo artist to hair colorist, or another working to eradicate mosquito-borne diseases. His approach? Offer guidance, but let them discover their true passions, leaning on your own life experiences for wisdom without controlling their choices.

Listening and Traditions

The essence of feeling ‘valued and heard’ is simple: listen more, lecture less. David’s philosophy on fatherhood centers on being a reliable sounding board—letting his daughters express themselves openly, knowing he’ll respond with empathy (not a sermon). He also highlights the value of family traditions, from regular birthday dinners to playful social media photoshoots, which have evolved into cherished rituals that unite his family.

Taking Life Lightly

With humor as a family glue, David reminds dads: don’t take life too seriously. Whether through social media antics or cheering for the Green Bay Packers together, laughter keeps relationships strong and reminds everyone that joy is found in the journey, not just the destination.

Ready for More?

If you’re eager for practical wisdom and real-world stories about raising strong, independent daughters, this episode with David Andrews is a must-listen. Tune in to the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast—because every dad deserves to feel seen, supported, and inspired.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. I am so excited that you’re here today as we are delving back into that relationship that you’re trying to build with your daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]:
It is such an important relationship, and every week I love that you are here to be able to talk about that, but also to learn and to grow from that. Because none of us walk into fatherhood with a manual about how to be the dad that we want to be. We learned it along the way. We trip, we fall, we make mistakes as well. And that’s why every week, I love being able to bring you different people with different experiences and be able to offer you some sneak peeks into their experiences in raising daughters so that you can learn from them. Today we got another great guest with us. David Andrews is with us today. And David is a news reporter, a anchor, someone that’s been in the Lansing news market for many years.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:49]:
He’s been at WIOX since the late 90s and even before that was at Channel 6 in Lansing. So he’s been in the news agency for a long time. Very well known in the Lansing community, but he’s got three daughters himself. So I’m always excited to be able to talk to other dads with daughters, to be able to gain some knowledge from them. David, thanks so much for being here today.

David Andrews [00:02:12]:
Yeah, Chris, it’s wonderful being with you. I know you’ve been asking me to be on this podcast for some time, and finally I’m glad to be able to sit down with you and talk about daughters. Like you said, I have three of them and it’s been a wonderful experience.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:27]:
So to start off today, why don’t you tell me a little bit about all three of your daughters?

David Andrews [00:02:30]:
Yeah. Oldest daughter is Austin, born in 1991, and she’s now 34 years old and she is a hair colorist. With a place in Lansing, Holiday Hair House in Lansing. So she’s been doing that for a number of years. She started out actually as a tattoo artist, so it was a neat transition for her to go from that to being a hair colorist. Middle daughter is Carson. She is four years younger, so she just turned 30 years old. And she works in the Chicago area as a scientist.

David Andrews [00:03:04]:
She graduated from Michigan State University and she’s now working with a company trying to eradicate mosquitoes. They come up with different chemical formulas for not just residential use by municipalities, but also third world countries where malaria is a problem, that people can die from diseases that mosquitoes carry. And so that’s what she does. She works with mosquitoes on a daily basis. And then our youngest daughter is Peyton and she’s 25 years old and she is a barber and she runs the Ram Barber shop in Holt, which was established more than 60 years ago. Same guy ran it for that many years. He retired and she was able to get into there. And now she is the barber at the main, I guess, barber shop in Holt.

David Andrews [00:04:00]:
So we’re very proud of her and she just started that about a year ago.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:03]:
So as you think about your three daughters, very different people, very different experiences, I’m sure, with them. As you think back to the moments that you’ve been able to share with them thus far, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve shared with each of them and what about it made it special?

David Andrews [00:04:20]:
Well, I think each one of them, because they, like you say, they are so absolutely different in many ways, yet they’re the same in a lot of ways too. But I think each one of them growing up, we had a unique dynamic. We never had to have daycare in our house because my wife Monica was in radio for many years and she worked the morning shows. And I, at the time when our daughters were growing up, I always worked the evening news, 6 and 11 o’ clock. And so there was always one of us in the house parenting. So we never had to have any kind of daycare for the daughters, which I thought was an important thing, plan it that way, it’s kind of how it worked out. But with each one of them and being, you know, four years apart and then five years apart, I was able to experience like with my first daughter, Austin, being the first and being a new parent and a dad of a daughter, I had no idea what to do yet I was thrust into getting her ready every morning and being the sole parent there and not being able to rely on anybody. So it was really a crash course in not just parenting a child, but parenting a daughter.

David Andrews [00:05:36]:
And so dealing with the hair. I think that was a big connection with her. And it’s funny because now she’s in the hair business, styling people’s hair. I was the one had to style her hair. So we have that unique connection with Carson being the middle child. Now she’s the middle child, but at the time she was the second child. I seem to have a better grasp maybe on now here’s another daughter. I know how to do daughters.

David Andrews [00:06:03]:
And so when she came along, I think it seemed I’ve got a better grasp on this. And she’s kind of the one that is a very steady kind of demeanor. So my connection with her is probably a little more straightforward. She’s not as emotional as I am or as my oldest daughter Austin is. She’s a little more of the calm demeanor. And so our relationship is one of more kind of a matter of fact, but very comfortable. And. And then our third daughter, you know, then came five years later, kind of by surprise.

David Andrews [00:06:41]:
And so when we knew we were having a third child and when we found out that it was going to be another daughter, I kind of was relieved because again, I know how to do daughters, so it seemed like a no brainer for me. So. And of all the three daughters, she’s probably most like me. So we have a great connection, yet a very much an adversarial connection because you’re competing with the same person sometimes with what you like and what you don’t like. I see things in her that I see in me that I don’t like. And so it’s a yin and the yang with her. We have a great relationship, but yet she’s the one who’s most like me. And it’s kind of scary now, you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:26]:
Know, I know that with your kids there’s this balance that you play and trying to guide them while still giving them independence. And I guess as you think about that, how did you balance guiding your daughters while also giving them the independence to become the people that they were becoming?

David Andrews [00:07:45]:
And that’s probably to me, the hardest thing because you want to make the decisions for them. And I found myself having to step back and saying, no, they’ve got to make their own path. I can’t decide their path for them. All I can do is guide them. And if they want suggestions of how to do it, I will give them suggestions and help them with whatever path they take. And for example, Austin, when she wanted to Be a tattoo artist. That was such an unconventional thing that it was like, okay, if that’s what you want, we will support you. And we did.

David Andrews [00:08:26]:
I mean, we helped, you know, her go to classes and finance that so that she could experience that. And then when she said, I don’t want to do that anymore and I want to do this, it’s. Then it’s like, okay, then it’s. You’ve got to support it. Because I was the same way when I was in college. I mean, I was a park ranger for the National Park Service. And then all of a sudden, in the middle of my degree, I up and said, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to do something else.

David Andrews [00:08:54]:
And then eventually got into tv. And I know my parents at the time were like, what are you throwing away four years of college? And so I always look back on that, what I did in shifting my life. So I always remind myself, you know what dramatic change is not bad because they’ll fall into whatever is right for them. And so that’s. I think I relied on my own experience to then guide them, to help them find out what they eventually want to do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:25]:
Now, this show is all about developing connections, and you’ve talked about some of the ways that you have created connections, and as a father of daughters, you have. Have to make those intentional connections to build those bonds with your kids. What are some intentional ways that you’ve been able to strengthen the bonds that you’ve had through those intentional connections that you’ve had with your daughters?

David Andrews [00:09:46]:
I think just like you say, being there and doing things with them, I mean, when they were younger, I always tried to, well, be at their sporting events. But now, in later years was, you know, let’s go canoeing. Let’s. Even as adults, you know, hey, you want to go? Go fishing? I remember with my middle daughter, Carson, I mean, it was just a couple years ago. She was in her late 20s. I didn’t realize I’d never taken her fishing. And so we, like, 27 years old, we got fishing boats, went fishing, and so it’s that kind of thing. And my youngest daughter, I.

David Andrews [00:10:19]:
Sporting events are big for us, so we love going to sporting events together. So it’s doing things together that help strengthen that bond and conversation at the same time.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:31]:
What do you intentionally do to be able to help your daughters to feel both valued and heard?

David Andrews [00:10:38]:
Definitely listening. Listening to them and not lecturing to them so that they know that they can come to me and they’re not going to get a speech about what they should be doing, but more of a sounding board of, you tell me what’s going on in your life. And if you want me to interject, that’s fine. But if you just wanted me to be a sounding board, that’s fine too. I think listening is probably the most intentional thing that I could do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:06]:
What’s a tradition or a routine that you’ve created together with your daughters that has been able to strengthen your bond?

David Andrews [00:11:13]:
I think just getting together as a family, holidays, special occasions, we still make very much a point, like on birthdays, that we’re going to go out to dinner somewhere, we’re going to get together on certain occasions, it’s going to be the family unit if everybody can get there. But we haven’t let that, that pass, that we’re just big into traditional things that families do that all families do, and we don’t want to let go of those no matter where we are in life, in proximity. So that’s been important to us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:48]:
Now, anybody that’s followed your social media knows that you have a sense of humor and you put that sense of humor out into the world through your, the posts that you put out there and even some of the pies that you bake and things like that, and cakes, I should say as well, talk to me about how you were able to infuse your own humor with your daughters and how that helped you to be the father that you wanted to be.

David Andrews [00:12:14]:
Well, it’s funny because social media, I was much more outgoing with it than my family initially wanted to be because every time I would invite them over to come over, they would go, do we have to be camera ready or do we not have to be camera ready? And sometimes if I really wanted them to come over, I would tell, I’m not going to take any pictures, just come over. You don’t have the, the pressure of taking pictures. But now it’s evolved into they know that pictures are going to be taken and they come prepared and now they come prepared with ideas of what picture we should take. So it really has evolved into something fun that now they enjoy and they enjoy being in the pictures and then to seeing how many likes and shares that we get. So it’s almost competition between them now to see who can get the most. But it actually has turned into a bonding experience what we post, you know, and every time we, when we’re doing a birthday, they know, come over, we’re going to take a birthday picture with you. And they just know that’s part of the routine, and it’s been a fun bonding experience.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:27]:
Now, I know that you and your wife Monica, both personalities, people that people in the community, at least in the Lansing area community, know, and people feel like they know, know you very well. But you have your personal life, you have a professional life. When you have kids, there’s that balance of playing for anybody that is in the, we’ll call it the limelight, per se, of being able to live the personality versus the home Persona. How did you either safeguard your kids from that as they were growing up or include them as a part of that? And what did you have to do to be able to have that optimal balance in that regard?

David Andrews [00:14:06]:
I think that probably has been one of the most challenging parts of parenting for the both of us is because of the notoriety we have, we can’t hide. There’s no hiding from anything. So everything we do is kind of has a public perspective to it. And to try and shield the kids from it, I think would be impossible. I think what we tried to do is to incorporate them into it and to never hide anything from them, to share with them that this is who we are and this is what comes with this territory to help soften that blow to them, that when you’re going out in public, people are going to come up to us that we don’t know and may come up to you as well. And so that’s been a balancing act that I think they’ve totally adapted amazingly well to over the years. There’s never been a time when any of them have thought it was a burden.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:07]:
We always finish our interviews with what we like to call our dad Connection six, where I ask you six more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

David Andrews [00:15:20]:
Positive.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:21]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received? Listen, what’s one activity that you and your daughters love doing together?

David Andrews [00:15:31]:
Watching football.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:33]:
And favorite team.

David Andrews [00:15:34]:
All of ours, in fact, are the Green Bay packers. And much to my wife’s chagrin, who is a Detroit Lions fan who thinks all these three were born and raised in Michigan. Why aren’t they? I was born and raised in Wisconsin and somehow they all took my allegiance when it came to football.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:55]:
They all became Packerbackers.

David Andrews [00:15:56]:
Yes, they did.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:57]:
Yes. I lived in Wisconsin for three years. And when you live in Wisconsin, you better be a Packer, otherwise you’re really going to be ostracized.

Musical Outro Performer [00:16:04]:
Right?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:05]:
Right. I completely understand that. Now, if you could give your daughter one life lesson. And this could be all for all three daughters. I should say in a single sentence, what would it be?

David Andrews [00:16:14]:
Don’t take life too seriously.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:16]:
And what’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a father?

David Andrews [00:16:20]:
That I shouldn’t take life too seriously. Yeah. The same thing. Yeah.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:26]:
And to finish up today, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

David Andrews [00:16:35]:
I think being there in all capacities is the most important thing to any loving relationship. Being there and being a positive force in their lives.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:49]:
Well, David, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey today. I know it’s not ended in any sense. You always are a father of daughters and you’re always going to be that person that they come back to and that they are going to rely on to be able to help them in different ways. It just changes and adapts as they get older. But I truly thank you for your time today. If people want to find out more about you, where should they go?

David Andrews [00:17:12]:
They can go to David Andrews.com or my Facebook page @DavidAndrews wilx.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:24]:
Well, David, thank you again for being here today, for sharing your own journey. And I truly wish you, you all the best.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:31]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:18:01]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your AK cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can.

What to Say When Your Daughter Feels Like She’s Not Good Enough

June 6, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one meaningful conversation at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling a tough but important topic: What to say when your daughter feels like she’s not “good enough.”

Maybe she’s struggling in school, feeling left out with friends, or comparing herself to others on social media. No matter the reason, hearing your daughter doubt herself is heartbreaking—and as a dad, you want to fix it.

But here’s the thing—you can’t just tell her she’s amazing and expect her to believe it. Confidence doesn’t come from just hearing “You’re great.” It comes from learning how to face self-doubt and push through it.

So today, I’ll share why she might feel this way, what NOT to say, and three powerful things you CAN say to help her build confidence.

Why She Might Feel Like She’s Not “Good Enough”

Kids, especially girls, are under so much pressure—to be smart, pretty, talented, popular, successful. And if they don’t meet these impossible standards, they start believing:

“I’ll never be as good as everyone else.”
“I’m just not talented enough.”
“No matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.”

This self-doubt can come from school, friendships, social media, or even just being too hard on herself.

What NOT to Say

When she’s feeling down, you might be tempted to quickly reassure her, but some common responses can actually backfire.

“That’s not true, you’re amazing!” (She won’t believe it in the moment.)
“Stop being so hard on yourself.” (She doesn’t know how to stop.)
“Other people have it worse.” (Minimizing doesn’t help—she just wants to be heard.)

Instead of trying to fix it immediately, help her work through it.

3 Things to Say When She Feels “Not Good Enough”

“It’s okay to feel this way, but let’s look at the facts.”

Self-doubt often comes from feelings, not facts. Help her step back and see the bigger picture.

“I hear you. You feel like you’re not good enough—but is that really true, or just how you feel right now?”
Let’s look at all the ways you’ve improved or worked hard.”

When she separates emotions from reality, she can start to reframe her thinking.

“What would you say to a friend who felt this way?”

When kids doubt themselves, they’re often much kinder to others than to themselves.

“If your best friend said, ‘I’m not good enough,’ what would you tell her?”
“Why don’t you deserve that same kindness?”

This helps her recognize her own worth—on her own terms.

“Let’s focus on growth, not perfection.”

Perfectionism is a major reason kids feel like they’re not good enough. Teach her that progress matters more than being the best.

“You don’t have to be perfect to be valuable.”
“Every mistake is a chance to learn and grow.”
“What’s one thing you can do today to take a step forward?”

By focusing on small wins, she learns that effort is what really counts.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: The next time your daughter says she’s not good enough, don’t just tell her she is—help her believe it.

? Validate her feelings without minimizing them.
? Help her see facts, not just emotions.
? Encourage her to treat herself like she would a friend.
? Shift her focus from perfection to progress.

Your words won’t just lift her up in the moment—they’ll shape how she talks to herself for years to come.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to help his daughter believe in herself. Until next time—keep listening, keep encouraging, and keep showing her that she is more than enough.

Teaching Resilience Helping Her Bounce Back from Setbacks

May 23, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional moment at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re talking about resilience—helping your daughter bounce back when things don’t go her way.

Let’s face it—life is full of setbacks. She’s going to face disappointments, failures, and challenges, and as her dad, you have a huge opportunity to teach her how to handle them with confidence.

So today, I’ll share why resilience matters, what NOT to say when she’s struggling, and three powerful ways to help her develop a bounce-back mindset.

Why Teaching Resilience is So Important

Resilience isn’t about avoiding failure—it’s about learning to rise after a setback. When your daughter develops resilience, she’ll:

?? Take risks and try new things without fear of failure.
?? Handle criticism and setbacks with confidence.
?? Learn from mistakes instead of letting them define her.

And most importantly, she’ll know she has the strength to handle whatever life throws her way.

What NOT to Say When She’s Struggling

When your daughter is upset about losing a game, failing a test, or being left out, your instinct might be to fix it or say things like:

? “It’s not a big deal.” (To her, it is.)
? “You’ll do better next time.” (She might need space before hearing this.)
? “Don’t be sad.” (All feelings are valid—even the tough ones.)

Instead, try these three simple strategies to help her develop true resilience.

3 Ways to Help Your Daughter Build Resilience

Acknowledge Her Feelings Without Trying to Fix Them

Before giving advice, make sure she knows it’s okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or sad.

? “I can see you’re really upset about this. That’s okay.”
? “I get why you’re frustrated—you worked really hard.”

By validating her feelings first, you create a safe space for her to process emotions before jumping to problem-solving.

Help Her Reframe the Setback as a Learning Moment

Once she’s ready, help her shift her mindset by asking:

? “What’s one thing you learned from this?”
? “What would you do differently next time?”
? “What’s something you did well, even if the outcome wasn’t what you wanted?”

This teaches her that setbacks aren’t failures—they’re stepping stones to growth.

Model Resilience in Your Own Life

Your daughter learns from watching you. If she sees you handling stress, failure, and setbacks with a positive attitude, she’ll do the same.

Talk about a time you struggled and how you overcame it.
Admit mistakes and show how you learn from them.
Use setbacks as opportunities to demonstrate problem-solving.

For example, if you burn dinner, instead of getting frustrated, say:
?? “Well, that didn’t go as planned! Let’s figure out a way to fix it.”

This shows her that mistakes are part of life—and they don’t define us.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: The next time your daughter faces a setback, practice these three steps.

? Acknowledge her feelings instead of dismissing them.
? Help her see the lesson in the challenge.
? Model resilience by showing how YOU handle setbacks.

By doing this, you’re not just helping her through one tough moment—you’re giving her tools she’ll use for a lifetime.

[Closing Music]

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to raise a strong, resilient daughter. Until next time—keep encouraging, keep supporting, and keep helping her rise after every fall.

Talking About Feelings: Helping Your Daughter Express Herself

May 16, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re talking about something that can be tough for dads—helping your daughter express her feelings.

Let’s be honest—talking about feelings doesn’t always come naturally, especially for us dads. But helping your daughter feel safe sharing her emotions is one of the most important things you can do for her.

So today, I’ll share why emotional expression matters, what stops kids from opening up, and three simple ways to help your daughter feel comfortable sharing her feelings.

Why Helping Your Daughter Express Feelings is So Important

When your daughter knows she can talk to you about anything, she builds:

?? Emotional confidence – She learns that feelings are normal and manageable.
?? Stronger relationships – She understands that good communication is key to connection.
?? Resilience – Instead of bottling things up, she learns to process emotions in a healthy way.

And most importantly, she knows that no matter what she’s feeling—happy, sad, excited, or frustrated—Dad is a safe place to share it.

Why Some Kids Struggle to Talk About Feelings

Sometimes, your daughter may not open up because:

? She doesn’t have the words to describe what she’s feeling.
? She’s afraid of being judged or dismissed.
? She thinks she has to be “strong” and hold it all in.

That’s why it’s up to you to create an environment where she feels safe expressing herself.

3 Ways to Help Your Daughter Express Her Feelings

Be Her Safe Space – No Judgment, Just Listening

When she shares her feelings, avoid the instinct to fix or minimize the problem. Instead of:

? “That’s not a big deal.”
? “Don’t be upset—it’ll be fine.”

Try:
? “I can see this really matters to you.”
? “That sounds really tough. Tell me more about it.”

Sometimes, she doesn’t need a solution—she just needs to be heard.

Help Her Name Her Emotions

If she’s struggling to describe how she feels, help her put words to it.

? “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because of what happened at school. Is that right?”
? “Are you feeling nervous, or is it more like excited energy?”

Giving her language for her emotions makes it easier for her to express them.

Lead by Example – Talk About Your Own Feelings

Your daughter learns how to talk about emotions by watching you.

Instead of bottling up stress, say: “I had a tough day today, but talking about it helps.”
If you’re feeling proud, say: “Seeing you work so hard on that made me really happy.”

When she sees that you’re open about emotions, she’ll feel more comfortable sharing hers.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Today, create one small moment where your daughter feels safe talking about her feelings.

? Listen without judgment or trying to fix things.
? Help her name her emotions if she struggles.
? Model emotional openness in your own life.

The more she feels safe talking to you now, the more she’ll keep coming to you as she grows.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to build a stronger, more open relationship with his daughter. Until next time—keep listening, keep supporting, and keep showing her that her feelings matter.

Supporting Your Daughter’s Interests (Even When They’re Different From Yours)

May 9, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling something that every dad faces at some point—how to support your daughter’s interests even when they’re completely different from yours.

Now, let’s be honest. As dads, we sometimes hope our daughters will love the same things we do—whether it’s sports, music, cars, or hobbies we grew up with. But sometimes, she takes a totally different path. Maybe she’s into ballet instead of basketball, anime instead of action movies, or science experiments instead of sports.

And that’s okay. Because what really matters isn’t WHAT she loves—it’s that you show up and support her no matter what.

So today, I’m giving you four simple ways to embrace her interests, even when they’re out of your comfort zone—so she always knows Dad is in her corner.

Why Supporting Her Interests is So Important

When you take an interest in what your daughter loves, you’re telling her:

?? “I see you.”
?? “What matters to you, matters to me.”
?? “You don’t have to be like me for me to love and support you.”

That builds trust, confidence, and lifelong connection.

4 Ways to Support Her Interests (Even When They Aren’t Yours)

Get Curious—Ask Questions & Show Genuine Interest

You don’t have to love her interests—you just need to be curious about them.

If she’s into painting, ask, “What’s your favorite thing to paint?”
If she loves coding, ask, “What’s the coolest thing you’ve built?”
If she’s obsessed with a book series, ask, “What do you love most about it?”

The goal isn’t to be an expert—it’s to let her teach YOU.

Participate—Even If You Feel Out of Your Element

Sometimes, the best way to connect is to step into her world.

If she loves musicals, watch one together and let her explain why she loves it.
If she’s into a new hobby, try it out with her—even if you’re terrible at it.
If she’s playing a sport you don’t understand, go to her games and cheer like crazy.

You don’t have to be great at it—you just have to show up.

Celebrate Her Achievements—Big & Small

No matter what she’s into, be her biggest cheerleader.

If she finishes a new piece of artwork, hang it up somewhere.
If she performs in a recital, be front and center.
If she’s excited about a new skill, tell her how proud you are of her effort.

Your encouragement fuels her confidence.

Keep an Open Mind—You Might Find Something You Enjoy

Sometimes, what starts as supporting her passion turns into something you enjoy together.

You might actually get hooked on the show she loves.
You might find yourself enjoying her favorite music.
You might discover a new hobby you never expected.

Being open to new experiences makes your bond even stronger.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Before the day ends, ask your daughter one question about something she loves—and really listen to her answer.

? Be curious—ask questions about her interests.
? Step into her world—try something she enjoys.
? Celebrate her passions—big and small.
? Stay open—you might just find a new connection.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about WHAT she loves—it’s about knowing Dad will always support her, no matter what.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to strengthen his bond with his daughter. Until next time—keep showing up, keep supporting, and keep celebrating what makes her unique.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
Hey, dads. Welcome to dad connection in five, your quick practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter, one intentional action at a time. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling something that every dad faces at some point, how to support your daughter’s interest even when they’re completely different than yours? Now let’s be honest. As dads, we sometimes hope that our daughters will love the same things that we do, whether it’s sports, music, cars, or hobbies that we grew up with. But sometimes, she takes a totally different path. Maybe she’s into ballet instead of basketball, anime instead of action movies, or science experience experiments instead of sports. But that’s okay because what really matters isn’t what she loves, it’s that you show up and support her no matter what. So today, I’m giving you four simple ways to embrace her interest even when they’re out of your comfort zone.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:04]:
So she always know knows that dad is here in her corner. So why is this so important? When you take an active interest in your daughter’s loves, you’re telling her, first, I see you. Second, what matters to you matters to me. And third, you don’t have to be like me for me to love and support you. That’s going to build trust, confidence, and lifelong connection. So here’s four ways that you can support her interests even when they aren’t yours. First, get curious. Ask questions and show genuine interest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:37]:
You don’t have to love her interest. You just have to be curious about them. If she’s into painting, ask, what’s your favorite thing to paint? If she loves coding, ask, what’s the coolest thing you’ve built? If she’s obsessed with a book series, ask, what do you love most about it? The goal isn’t to be an expert. It’s about her teaching you. Second thing, participate. Even if you feel left out of your element, sometimes the best way to connect is to step into her world. If she loves musicals, watch one together and let her explain why she loves it. If she’s into a new hobby, try it out with her even if you’re terrible at it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
If she’s playing a sport you don’t understand, go to her games and cheer like crazy. You don’t have to be great at it. You just have to show up. Third, celebrate her achievements. Big and small, no matter what that she’s into, be her biggest cheerleader. If she finishes a new piece of artwork, hang it up somewhere. If she performs in a recital, be front and center. If she’s excited about a new skill, tell her how proud you are of her effort.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:44]:
Your encouragement fuels her confidence. Fourth, keep an open mind. You might find something that you enjoy sometimes, and what starts as supporting her passion turns into something you enjoy together. You might actually get hooked on the show she loves. You might find yourself enjoying her favorite music. You might discover a new hobby you’ve never expected. Being open to new experiences makes your bond even stronger. So here’s some quick takeaways.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:13]:
Start today. Here’s your challenge. Before the end of the day, ask your daughter one question about something that she loves and really listen to her answer. Be curious, ask questions about her interests, step into her world and try something that she enjoys, celebrate her passions big and small and stay open. You might just find a new connection. At the end of the day, it’s not about what she loves. It’s about knowing dad will always support her no matter what. Okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:43]:
That’s it for today’s dad connection five. If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to strengthen his bond with his daughter. Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting, and keep celebrating what makes her unique.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:59]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:04:29]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your A GAME Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast.

Musical Outro Performer [00:05:04]:
Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men, get out and beat the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.