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How to Balance Kids’ Busy Schedules for More Fun and Less Stress

September 14, 2026 by dadofdivas

Busy parents managing activities know how quickly children’s busy schedules can turn into a weekly sprint of practices, lessons, homework, and logistics. The hard part isn’t caring too little, it’s trying to fit everything in while balancing productivity and downtime, even when downtime feels like a luxury. Without real breaks, time management for kids becomes a constant push that can crowd out rest, play, and connection, which chips away at child well-being. With a clearer approach, families can protect the importance of downtime and still feel confident that what matters is getting the attention it deserves.

Build a Weekly Plan That Leaves Breathing Room

This puts you back in control of the week by choosing what truly matters, setting clear limits, and protecting real downtime. It helps everyday families reduce last-minute scrambling while making space for rest, play, and connection.

  1. List every commitment and name your top priorities
    Start with a full brain-dump of school needs, practices, lessons, chores, and family obligations. Then circle your child’s top 2 to 3 “must-keep” activities for this season and write why they matter (skill-building, joy, friendships, or family values). Keeping priorities visible makes later decisions feel fair, not random.
  2. Set a simple extracurricular limit for this season
    Choose a cap that matches your family’s capacity, such as “one sport plus one other activity,” or “no more than three after-school days booked.” If you need a tie-breaker, favor activities that best support your priorities and drop or pause the ones that add stress without enough payoff.
  3. Run one shared family calendar with one weekly check-in
    Pick a single calendar that everyone can see, and put every repeating item on it, including pickup times and travel buffers. Add a 10-minute weekly check-in to confirm who is doing which rides and what needs to move. Consistent parent coordination matters, and parental involvement is linked with better long-term outcomes.
  4. Block downtime first, then schedule the rest around it
    Choose 2 to 4 downtime blocks for the week and label them clearly (free play, reading, walk, quiet time). Treat these blocks like appointments so they do not get swallowed by “just one more thing.” Since children watch TV so often on typical days, planning for offline downtime helps rest feel intentional, not accidental.
  5. Review the week using a quick “stress test” and adjust
    Scan each day for tight turnarounds, late nights, or more than one demanding commitment in a row. If a day fails the stress test, fix it immediately by swapping, shortening, carpooling, or declining something. Small adjustments each week prevent overload from becoming the new normal.

Turn Downtime Into a Simple At-Home Creative Project

Once you’ve protected a little breathing room in the week, it helps to have a calm, low-pressure option ready so free time doesn’t automatically turn into “more activities.” Encouraging kids to use creative digital tools during downtime can give them something engaging to do without making their schedule feel even more structured. AI animation generators let children transform text prompts, images, or their own imaginative ideas into animated scenes and short videos, which can be a fun way to experiment with storytelling and self-expression. Tools like Adobe Firefly’s AI animation creator make it possible to turn a small spark, one character, one setting, one silly “what if?”, into a simple animation that feels both productive and relaxing.

Because the goal is unwinding, keep the project light: the act of playing with visuals, movement, and narrative can become a satisfying outlet for imagination without the pressure of performance. Over time, these small creative projects can help kids decompress, explore what they’re interested in, and maintain a healthier balance between their commitments and the open-ended time that lets them recharge.

A Simple Weekly Rhythm That Keeps Plans in Check

This quick routine keeps your calendar from slowly filling back up while still leaving room for fun. It also makes scheduled conversations predictable, so you are not renegotiating every day. Use it as a lightweight loop: review, choose, adjust, and reset.

 

StageActionGoal
CaptureList every commitment, including travel and homework windowsSee the true time cost clearly
BlockReserve school, sleep, meals, and recovery time firstProtect essentials and decompression
ChooseLimit priority activities per child for this weekAvoid stacking too many “good” things
CoordinateConfirm rides, gear, and start times in one family check-inFewer last-minute surprises
AdjustMidweek, cancel or swap one item if stress risesKeep the week workable
ResetMonthly, review what energizes versus drainsAlign activities with current needs

 

Because each stage feeds the next, you stay proactive without micromanaging. Capturing and blocking reveal what is realistic, choosing creates breathing room, and adjusting keeps you responsive to real life.

Common Questions About Kids’ Schedules

Q: How do I balance schoolwork with sports, clubs, and friends?
A: Put school, sleep, meals, and homework time on the calendar first, then add activities around those anchors. If homework is consistently pushing late, trim one commitment for two weeks and reassess. Aim for consistency on weeknights and more flexibility on weekends.

Q: What are the clearest signs my child is overscheduled?
A: Watch for more meltdowns, frequent complaints of headaches or stomachaches, trouble falling asleep, or sudden drops in motivation. Another clue is when every transition becomes a fight because there is no buffer. Treat these as data, not drama, and lighten the load quickly.

Q: How can I cancel plans without feeling like the “bad guy”?
A: Use a calm, steady script: “We are protecting rest this week, so we are skipping this one.” Add a short apology if you overbooked, because we all make mistakes and kids learn from that honesty. Then offer a replacement: “Let’s pick one fun thing for Saturday.”

Q: When should I push through a busy week versus pulling back?
A: Push through when it is temporary and your child is coping well with sleep, mood, and school. Pull back when stress is stacking for more than a few days or your family is snapping at each other over small things. Reducing one obligation now often prevents bigger problems later.

Q: Can I change the plan if another parent or caregiver disagrees?
A: Yes, but communicate early and focus on the child’s needs, not who is “right.” Suggest a concrete alternative like swapping days or choosing one priority activity, and keep the tone respectful. When co-parenting is the situation, clear, shared expectations reduce last-minute conflict.

Protecting Downtime While Keeping Kids’ Schedules Sustainable

When every week is packed with school, practices, and plans, family time turns into logistics and kids carry more stress than fun. The goal is a balanced mindset: set clear priorities, use a simple calendar check, implement activity limits, and protect scheduled downtime as a non-negotiable part of maintaining healthy routines. Over time, this approach creates more predictable days, calmer transitions, and space for connection without sacrificing what matters most. If the calendar leaves no breathing room, the schedule is too full. Choose one change this week, do a calendar reset or set one activity cap, and keep that boundary steady for a month. That breathing room builds resilience, stronger relationships, and healthier long-term habits for everyone.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: busy schedules, dad, dads, family, father, fatherhood, fathers, parenting, parents, schedules

Don’t Forget Gifts For Dads This Fathers Day

June 1, 2026 by dadofdivas

It’s almost Father’s Day and that means looking for some unique products to show moms that you care. Below are a few items that I recently found that you might want to consider!

Ocean & Oakmoss Gift Set from Formulary 55 features a 6 oz Bath Bar, Fizzy 4 oz Bath Tablet and Shea Butter Hand & Body Cream Jar. Close your eyes and enjoy the bright bergamot, cool mint, lavender along with the grounding warmth of oakmoss and woody notes! This makes a great gift for any dad who is into smelling good and having soft skin! All Formulary 55 products are handcrafted in small batches in the USA, vegan, certified cruelty-free, SLS-free, and paraben-free.
Gurunanda’s Sensitive Whitening Strips are specially formulated to deliver visible whitening results while being gentle on teeth. Designed to provide effective stain removal without the harshness often associated with traditional whitening treatments. Created with a carefully balanced formula, infused with coconut oil to support a gentler whitening routine, that works gradually to brighten teeth over time.
Skinesa Skin Probiotic is a daily skin-specific probiotic capsule line featuring an ingredient blend that is clinically proven to promote clear, healthy skin. University research has shown that problematic skin starts in the gut. And so Skinesa developed a special probiotic blend containing five patented probiotic strains, each carefully selected for its role in supporting healthy skin – not just the gut. These ingredients were studied in gold-standard, randomized, double-blind clinical trials involving adults ages 18 – 80. Nine out of 10 participants saw visibly clearer, healthier skin in 90 days or less of continuous use.
Arki Full-Spectrum Red Light Therapy Saunas transcend the home sauna category by integrating two trusted therapies – medical-grade red light therapy and full-spectrum infrared heat in a single, versatile cabin. This dual therapy reaches the skin’s surface as well as deeper tissues, muscles and joints. As a result, users can reap multiple wellness benefits including skin revitalization, muscle recovery, circulation support and whole-body rejuvenation. Thanks to advanced carbon-fiber heating technology, Arki offers a safe, gentle and comfortable thermal environment, allowing for 30–40-minute sessions and a fuller detox experience. Perfect for anyone seeking a holistic, at-home daily wellness boost, these hybrid saunas are also especially popular among athletes and individuals with arthritis and joint discomfort. Many users incorporate Arki sessions into weight management and skin care routines.
All of these are such unique gifts that you do not want to miss out on. Check out these companies today!

Filed Under: fatherhood, Gift Guide, gifts, product review Tagged With: fatherhood, fathers, fathers day, fathers day gift guide, gift for a man, gift for mom, gift guide, gifts, gifts for mom, product review

Car Ride Conversations: Turning Drive Time into Bonding Time

June 20, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads, welcome back to Dad Connections in 5—the podcast where in just five minutes, you get simple, meaningful ideas to help build a stronger connection with your daughter. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we’re hitting the road—literally.

Let’s talk about how those everyday car rides—school drop-offs, errands, sports practice—can become some of the best bonding moments you’ll ever have.

You don’t need a special trip or a deep heart-to-heart planned. You just need a little intention—and the willingness to show up, even between red lights.

Why Car Rides Are Gold for Connection

Think about it:

  • You’re both in the same space.
  • Distractions are minimal (unless the radio’s blasting).
  • And most importantly—you’re side-by-side, not face-to-face.

That side-by-side setup? It’s powerful. It’s less intense, less intimidating, and often opens the door to more open, honest conversation.

Car rides can be that perfect mix of casual and meaningful—a natural space where your daughter feels safe to talk without pressure.

3 Easy Ways to Turn Drive Time into Bonding Time

1. Start with Curiosity, Not Questions

We all fall into the “How was school?” trap. But try swapping that with:

  • “What made you laugh today?”
  • “What was the weirdest thing you saw?”
  • “What’s one thing you wish you didn’t have to do this week?”

These aren’t interviews—they’re invitations. You’re saying: “I’m genuinely interested in your world.”

And even if she shrugs the first few times, keep going. Over time, the message sticks.

2. Use Music as a Connector

Let her DJ. Seriously. Ask her to share her favorite songs—and actually listen. Even if it’s not your thing.

Then say:

  • “What do you like about this song?”
  • “This one reminds me of something I listened to when I was your age.”

Music can be a powerful bridge. It’s emotional, expressive, and a way to bond without needing constant dialogue.

3. Embrace the Silence

Not every ride needs to be packed with conversation. In fact, quiet moments can be just as valuable.

Sometimes she’s processing. Sometimes she just needs your calm presence.

And then—out of nowhere—she’ll start talking.
About something funny, or something serious.

And you’ll realize that because you stayed present—she trusted the silence enough to break it.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here’s your challenge:
During your next car ride with your daughter, pick one of these simple steps:

  • Ask a question that’s different from your usual go-to
  • Let her pick the music—and actually talk about it
  • Sit in the quiet, and be ready when she opens up

And when she does?

  • Listen without fixing.
  • Laugh with her.
  • Let her know you love these moments just as much as she does—even if she doesn’t say it back.

Because connection isn’t always about the destination. Sometimes, it’s built one mile at a time—on the way there.

That’s it for this episode of Dad Connections in 5. If this reminded you that bonding doesn’t have to be complicated or scheduled, share it with another dad who’s doing the morning drop-off or weekend errands.

Until next time—keep driving, keep listening, and keep using the in-between moments to build something that lasts.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: car rides, conversation, conversations, dad, dad and daughter connection, Dad Connection in five, dads, father, fatherhood, fathers

Body Image and Self-Esteem: How Dads Can Make a Difference

June 13, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one meaningful moment at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling an issue that affects so many girls today—body image and self-esteem.

Let’s be real—the world bombards our daughters with unrealistic beauty standards every single day. Whether it’s social media, TV, or even casual comments from others, the pressure to look a certain way is everywhere.

But here’s the good news—you, as her dad, have a powerful role in shaping how she sees herself. Your words, your actions, and even the way you talk about yourself can build her confidence or tear it down.

So today, I’m giving you three powerful ways to help your daughter develop a healthy body image and strong self-esteem.

Why Your Role as a Dad Matters

Girls with supportive, affirming fathers tend to:

  • Feel more confident in their own skin.
  • Base their worth on who they are, not how they look.
  • Have higher self-esteem and resilience against negative influences.

The way you see her will become how she sees herself.

3 Ways Dads Can Help Their Daughters Build a Healthy Body Image

  1. Compliment Her Beyond Her Appearance

It’s easy to say, “You’re beautiful”—and you should! But if the only praise she hears is about her looks, she may start believing her value is tied to her appearance.

Mix in compliments about her character:

  • “I love how kind you are to your friends.”
  • “You are so strong and determined—I admire that about you.”
  • “Your creativity blows me away!”

This reinforces that her beauty is more than skin deep.

  1. Be Mindful of How You Talk About Bodies—Including Your Own

Your daughter is always listening, even when you’re not talking directly to her. If you’re constantly saying things like:

  • “Ugh, I need to lose weight.”
  • “I can’t eat that—I’ll get fat.”
  • “She looks terrible in that outfit.”

She learns that appearance is something to be criticized.

Instead, model self-acceptance by:

  • Speaking positively about your own body – Show her that health matters more than size.
  • Avoiding body-shaming comments about others – Teach her that everyone deserves respect.
  • Focusing on what your body can DO, not just how it looks – “I love that my legs are strong enough to run with you.”

Your words shape how she talks to herself.

  1. Teach Her That Social Media is NOT Reality

Filters, editing, and curated images make it easy for girls to compare themselves to impossible standards.

Help her develop a healthy mindset by:

  • Asking critical questions – “Do you think this picture was edited?”
  • Pointing out unrealistic portrayals – “No one actually looks like that 24/7.”
  • Encouraging social media breaks – Help her see that her worth isn’t tied to likes and comments.

If she struggles with comparison, remind her:
“The most important thing about you isn’t what you look like—it’s who you are.”

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Today, give your daughter a compliment that has nothing to do with her appearance.

  • Encourage her for her strength, kindness, or intelligence.
  • Be mindful of how you talk about bodies—including your own.
  • Help her see that social media isn’t reality.

The way she sees herself starts with how you see her—make sure she knows she is enough, exactly as she is.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to help his daughter build unshakable confidence. Until next time—keep showing up, keep lifting her up, and keep reminding her that she is more than enough.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: body image, dad, dad and daughter, dad and daughter connection, dad with daughter, dads, father, fatherhood, fathers, healthy body image, podcast, podcast episode, self esteem

The Right Way to Praise Focusing on Effort-Not Just Talent

May 30, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one simple action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re talking about the right way to praise your daughter—focusing on effort, not just talent.

We all want our daughters to feel confident and capable. But did you know that HOW you praise her can actually shape the way she sees herself and her abilities?

Today, I’m going to show you why effort-based praise is so important, how it builds resilience, and practical ways to start using it today.

Why Effort-Based Praise Matters

A lot of times, we say things like:

  • “You’re so smart!”
  • “You’re a natural!”
  • “Wow, you’re really talented at that!”

And while those compliments sound great, they can actually have an unintended effect—making her believe that success is about being naturally gifted, rather than about hard work, practice, and growth.

Instead, when we praise effort, we teach her that:

  • Hard work matters more than being “naturally good” at something.
  • Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re learning opportunities.
  • She is in control of her growth and success.

How to Shift from Talent-Based to Effort-Based Praise

  • Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome

Instead of saying:

  • “You’re so good at math!”

Try:

  • “I love how you kept working through that tough problem—that’s real determination!”

This reinforces that success comes from persistence.

  • Highlight Hard Work Over Perfection

Instead of saying:

  • “Wow, you won first place—you’re amazing!”

Try:

  • “You practiced so hard for this, and it really paid off! I’m so proud of your dedication.”

Winning is great, but the effort is what truly matters.

  • Encourage a Growth Mindset

When she struggles, instead of saying:

  • “It’s okay, maybe this just isn’t your thing.”

Try:

  • “You’re not there yet, but every time you practice, you get better!”

This teaches her that skills are built, not just given.

  • Praise Her Willingness to Try New Things

If she’s hesitant to try something new, remind her:

  • “It’s okay to not be great at something right away—what matters is that you’re willing to try.”

This boosts confidence and makes her more open to challenges.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: The next time you praise your daughter, focus on her effort instead of just the result.

  • Notice her hard work and persistence.
  • Encourage her to see challenges as learning opportunities.
  • Reinforce that growth happens with time, effort, and practice.

This small shift builds resilience, confidence, and a lifelong love of learning.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If you found this helpful, share it with another dad who wants to empower his daughter with the right kind of praise. Until next time—keep encouraging, keep supporting, and keep helping her grow.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: Being present, challenge, confidence, confident daughters, connection, dad, dad and daughter connection, Dad Connection in five, dad she needs., dads, dedication, effort based praise, empowerment, encouragement, engaged dad, father, fatherhood, fathers, growth mindset, hard work, learning opportunities, lifelong love of learning, new things, open to challenges, perfection, persistence, practice, praise your daughter, process-based praise, resilience, share, skills development, stronger bonds, subscribe, support

Supporting Your Daughter’s Interests (Even When They’re Different From Yours)

May 9, 2025 by dadofdivas

https://pdcn.co/e/traffic.libsyn.com/0b32651f-5d5d-453b-be58-a4f9dac21863/Supporting_Your_Daughters_Interests_Even_When_Theyre_Different_From_Yours-FINAL.mp3

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling something that every dad faces at some point—how to support your daughter’s interests even when they’re completely different from yours.

Now, let’s be honest. As dads, we sometimes hope our daughters will love the same things we do—whether it’s sports, music, cars, or hobbies we grew up with. But sometimes, she takes a totally different path. Maybe she’s into ballet instead of basketball, anime instead of action movies, or science experiments instead of sports.

And that’s okay. Because what really matters isn’t WHAT she loves—it’s that you show up and support her no matter what.

So today, I’m giving you four simple ways to embrace her interests, even when they’re out of your comfort zone—so she always knows Dad is in her corner.

Why Supporting Her Interests is So Important

When you take an interest in what your daughter loves, you’re telling her:

?? “I see you.”
?? “What matters to you, matters to me.”
?? “You don’t have to be like me for me to love and support you.”

That builds trust, confidence, and lifelong connection.

4 Ways to Support Her Interests (Even When They Aren’t Yours)

  1. Get Curious—Ask Questions & Show Genuine Interest

You don’t have to love her interests—you just need to be curious about them.

  • If she’s into painting, ask, “What’s your favorite thing to paint?”
  • If she loves coding, ask, “What’s the coolest thing you’ve built?”
  • If she’s obsessed with a book series, ask, “What do you love most about it?”

The goal isn’t to be an expert—it’s to let her teach YOU.

  1. Participate—Even If You Feel Out of Your Element

Sometimes, the best way to connect is to step into her world.

  • If she loves musicals, watch one together and let her explain why she loves it.
  • If she’s into a new hobby, try it out with her—even if you’re terrible at it.
  • If she’s playing a sport you don’t understand, go to her games and cheer like crazy.

You don’t have to be great at it—you just have to show up.

  1. Celebrate Her Achievements—Big & Small

No matter what she’s into, be her biggest cheerleader.

  • If she finishes a new piece of artwork, hang it up somewhere.
  • If she performs in a recital, be front and center.
  • If she’s excited about a new skill, tell her how proud you are of her effort.

Your encouragement fuels her confidence.

  1. Keep an Open Mind—You Might Find Something You Enjoy

Sometimes, what starts as supporting her passion turns into something you enjoy together.

  • You might actually get hooked on the show she loves.
  • You might find yourself enjoying her favorite music.
  • You might discover a new hobby you never expected.

Being open to new experiences makes your bond even stronger.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Before the day ends, ask your daughter one question about something she loves—and really listen to her answer.

? Be curious—ask questions about her interests.
? Step into her world—try something she enjoys.
? Celebrate her passions—big and small.
? Stay open—you might just find a new connection.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about WHAT she loves—it’s about knowing Dad will always support her, no matter what.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to strengthen his bond with his daughter. Until next time—keep showing up, keep supporting, and keep celebrating what makes her unique.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

 

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
Hey, dads. Welcome to dad connection in five, your quick practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter, one intentional action at a time. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling something that every dad faces at some point, how to support your daughter’s interest even when they’re completely different than yours? Now let’s be honest. As dads, we sometimes hope that our daughters will love the same things that we do, whether it’s sports, music, cars, or hobbies that we grew up with. But sometimes, she takes a totally different path. Maybe she’s into ballet instead of basketball, anime instead of action movies, or science experience experiments instead of sports. But that’s okay because what really matters isn’t what she loves, it’s that you show up and support her no matter what. So today, I’m giving you four simple ways to embrace her interest even when they’re out of your comfort zone.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:04]:
So she always know knows that dad is here in her corner. So why is this so important? When you take an active interest in your daughter’s loves, you’re telling her, first, I see you. Second, what matters to you matters to me. And third, you don’t have to be like me for me to love and support you. That’s going to build trust, confidence, and lifelong connection. So here’s four ways that you can support her interests even when they aren’t yours. First, get curious. Ask questions and show genuine interest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:37]:
You don’t have to love her interest. You just have to be curious about them. If she’s into painting, ask, what’s your favorite thing to paint? If she loves coding, ask, what’s the coolest thing you’ve built? If she’s obsessed with a book series, ask, what do you love most about it? The goal isn’t to be an expert. It’s about her teaching you. Second thing, participate. Even if you feel left out of your element, sometimes the best way to connect is to step into her world. If she loves musicals, watch one together and let her explain why she loves it. If she’s into a new hobby, try it out with her even if you’re terrible at it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
If she’s playing a sport you don’t understand, go to her games and cheer like crazy. You don’t have to be great at it. You just have to show up. Third, celebrate her achievements. Big and small, no matter what that she’s into, be her biggest cheerleader. If she finishes a new piece of artwork, hang it up somewhere. If she performs in a recital, be front and center. If she’s excited about a new skill, tell her how proud you are of her effort.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:44]:
Your encouragement fuels her confidence. Fourth, keep an open mind. You might find something that you enjoy sometimes, and what starts as supporting her passion turns into something you enjoy together. You might actually get hooked on the show she loves. You might find yourself enjoying her favorite music. You might discover a new hobby you’ve never expected. Being open to new experiences makes your bond even stronger. So here’s some quick takeaways.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:13]:
Start today. Here’s your challenge. Before the end of the day, ask your daughter one question about something that she loves and really listen to her answer. Be curious, ask questions about her interests, step into her world and try something that she enjoys, celebrate her passions big and small and stay open. You might just find a new connection. At the end of the day, it’s not about what she loves. It’s about knowing dad will always support her no matter what. Okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:43]:
That’s it for today’s dad connection five. If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to strengthen his bond with his daughter. Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting, and keep celebrating what makes her unique.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:59]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:04:29]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your A GAME Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast.

Musical Outro Performer [00:05:04]:
Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men, get out and beat the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: Action movies, Active interest, Anime, Ballet, basketball, Bonds, Book series, building bonds, Celebrate passions, Celebrating achievements, coding, confident daughters, connection, Curiosity, dad, dad and daughter connection, dads, dads and daughters, encouragement, engaged dad, father, fatherhood, fathers, independent daughters, Intentional action, musicals, New experiences, New hobby, Open mind, painting, Participation, Quick guide, Science experiments, stronger bonds, Support interests

How to Teach Your Daughter to Believe in Herself

May 2, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re talking about something every dad wants for his daughter—helping her believe in herself.

Confidence isn’t something we’re born with—it’s built over time through encouragement, experiences, and the way people treat us. And as a dad, you play a HUGE role in shaping how your daughter sees herself.

So today, I’ll give you simple, practical ways to help her develop self-belief, resilience, and confidence—so she grows up knowing her worth.

Why Your Role as a Dad is So Important

Your daughter looks to you for validation and reassurance—whether she’s 5, 15, or 25. When you consistently show her that she’s capable, valued, and strong, she starts to believe it herself.

?? She’ll take more chances.
?? She won’t be afraid to fail.
?? She’ll trust her own instincts, instead of looking for approval from others.

And that? That’s priceless.

5 Ways to Help Your Daughter Believe in Herself

  1. Praise Her Effort, Not Just the Outcome

It’s easy to say, “You’re so smart!” or “You’re amazing at soccer!”—but real confidence comes from knowing she can work through challenges, even when things don’t come easily.

Instead, say:
? “I love how hard you worked on that.”
? “I saw how you kept trying even when it was tough—that’s what makes you strong.”
? “You didn’t give up, and that’s what really matters.”

Teaching her that effort matters more than perfection builds long-term confidence.

  1. Encourage Her to Take Risks

Confidence grows outside of the comfort zone. Let her:

  • Try a new hobby, even if she’s nervous.
  • Speak up in class or at a family gathering.
  • Make decisions without second-guessing herself.

When she hesitates, remind her: “Being brave doesn’t mean not being scared—it means doing it anyway.”

  1. Help Her Reframe Failures

Every mistake is a lesson. Instead of letting failures shake her confidence, teach her how to learn and grow from them.

If she messes up on a test, loses a game, or makes a mistake, say:
? “What’s one thing you can do differently next time?”
? “Every time you fail, you’re learning something new.”
? “Even the best people in the world failed before they succeeded.”

This helps her see failure as a stepping stone, not a dead end.

  1. Show Her Confidence in Action

Your daughter learns from watching you. If she sees you:

  • Handling challenges without panicking…
  • Speaking up with confidence…
  • Trying new things without fear of failure…

She’ll start to mirror that same belief in herself.

You don’t have to be perfect—just show her how to keep moving forward, even when things don’t go as planned.

  1. Tell Her You Believe in Her—Often

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is say it out loud:

? “I believe in you.”
? “I know you can handle this.”
? “You are strong, capable, and enough—just as you are.”

Hearing those words from her dad can shape how she sees herself for years to come.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Before the day ends, tell your daughter one thing that makes her strong, capable, or brave.

? Praise her effort, not just the result.
? Encourage her to take risks and step outside her comfort zone.
? Help her reframe failures as learning moments.
? Model confidence so she sees it in action.
? Tell her you believe in her—because your words matter.

When she hears these things over and over, she won’t just believe in herself—she’ll carry that belief with her for a lifetime.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this resonated with you, share it with another dad who wants to raise a confident, self-assured daughter. Until next time—keep showing up, keep believing in her, and keep being the dad she needs.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

 

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
Hey, dads. Welcome to dad connection in five, your quick practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter, one intentional action at a time. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and today we’re talking about something every dad wants his daughter to do. We want her to believe in herself. Confidence isn’t something we’re born with. It’s built over time through encouragement, experiences, and the way people treat us. And as a dad, you play a huge role in shaping how your daughter sees herself. So today, I’ll give you simple practical ways to help her develop self belief, resilience, and confidence so she grows up knowing her worth.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:53]:
So why is this important? Well, your daughter looks to you for validation and reassurance. Whether she’s five, 15, or 25, when you consistently show her that she’s capable, valued, and strong, she starts to believe in herself. She’ll take more chances. She won’t be afraid to fail. She’ll trust her own instincts instead of looking for approval from others. And that? That’s priceless. So I’m gonna give you five ways that you can help your daughter believe in herself. First, praise her effort, not just the outcome.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:29]:
It’s easy to say, you’re so smart or, You’re so amazing at soccer. But real confidence comes from knowing she can work through challenges even when things don’t come easily. Instead, say, I love how hard you worked on that, or, I saw how you kept trying even when it was tough. That’s what makes you strong. Or, you didn’t give up and that’s what really matters. Teaching her that effort matters more than perfection builds long term confidence. Second, encourage her to take risks because confidence grows outside of the comfort zone. Let her try a new hobby even if she’s nervous.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:11]:
Speak up in class or at a family gathering. Make decisions without second guessing herself. When she hesitates, remind her being brave doesn’t mean not being scared. It means doing it anyway. Third, help her reframe failures because every mistake is a lesson. Instead of letting failure shake her confidence, teach her how to learn and grow from them. If she messes up on a test, loses a game, or makes a mistake, say, What’s one thing that you can do differently next time? Every time you fail, you’re learning something new. Or even the best people in the world failed before they succeeded.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:51]:
This helps her see failure as a stepping stone, not just a dead end. Fourth, show her confidence in action. Your daughter learns a lot from watching you. If she sees you handling challenges without panicking, or speaking up with confidence, or trying new things without fear of failure, she’s going to then start to mirror that, and she’ll believe in herself. You don’t have to be perfect, just show her how to keep moving forward even when things don’t go as planned. And fifth, tell her that you believe in her. Often often the most powerful things that you can do is say it out loud. I believe in you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:33]:
I know you can handle this. You are strong, capable, and enough, just as you are. Hearing those words from a dad can shape how she sees herself for years to come. So some quick takeaways, you can start this today. Here’s your challenge. Before the end of the day, tell your daughter one thing that makes her strong, capable, or brave. Praise her effort, not just the result. Encourage her to take risks and step outside of her comfort zone.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:01]:
Help her reframe failures as learning moments. Model confidence so she sees it in action, and tell her that you believe in her because your words matter. When she hears these things over and over again, she won’t just believe in herself. She’ll carry that belief with her for a lifetime. Okay. So that’s it for today’s dad connection in five. If this resonated with you, share it with another dad who wants to raise a confident, self assured daughter. Until next time, keep showing up, keep believing in her, and keep being the dad that she needs.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:40]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:05:11]:
We’re all in the same boat, and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your A game Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men, get out and beat the world to them. Be the best dad you can be.

Musical Outro Performer [00:06:04]:
Be the best dad you can be.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: action, bond, bravery, challenge, communication, confidence, connection, dad, dad and daughter connection, dads, daughter, effort, encouragement, engaged, failure, father, fatherhood, fathers, guide., independent, learning, mentor, modeling, podcast, praise, present, reassurance, relationships, resilience, risk-taking, self-belief, self-worth, support, validation

Helping Your Daughter Navigate Social Media Positively

April 18, 2025 by dadofdivas

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So today, I’ll share why social media can be tricky for kids, the biggest mistakes to avoid, and three practical ways to help your daughter use it in a healthy way.

Why Social Media Can Be Challenging for Kids

Your daughter is growing up in a world where likes, comments, and filters shape self-worth. Here’s why that’s a problem:

  • Comparison Culture – Seeing “perfect” lives online can make her feel like she’s not good enough.
  • Validation Seeking – Getting likes and followers can become a measure of self-worth.
  • Unrealistic Standards – Filters and editing make it easy to believe no one has flaws.

If we don’t guide her, social media can impact her confidence and mental health.

3 Ways to Help Your Daughter Navigate Social Media Positively

  • Teach Her to Think Critically About What She Sees

Help her understand that social media isn’t real life. Ask questions like:

  • “Do you think this picture was edited or filtered?”
  •  “Do you think this person’s life is always this perfect?”
  •  “How does this post make you feel about yourself?”

Encouraging critical thinking helps her scroll with awareness instead of comparison.

  1. Encourage Social Media Breaks & Real-Life Connections

Too much screen time can disconnect her from reality—so encourage balance.

  • Create tech-free zones – No phones at the dinner table or during family time.
  •  Suggest screen breaks – “Let’s go for a walk, just us, no phones.”
  •  Prioritize face-to-face relationships – Remind her that real friendships happen offline.

When she sees that life exists beyond the screen, she’ll rely less on social media for validation.

  1. Be Involved Without Controlling

Your daughter needs guidance, not surveillance. Instead of strict rules, have open conversations about online safety and emotional well-being.

  • “Who do you follow that makes you feel good about yourself?”
  • “How do you decide what to post?”
  • “If something online ever makes you uncomfortable, you can always talk to me.”

The more safe and open she feels with you, the more likely she’ll come to you when she needs support.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Tonight, ask your daughter one question about social media—no judgment, just curiosity.

  • Help her think critically about what she sees.
  • Encourage real-life connections over screen time.
  • Be involved in her online world without being overbearing.

Social media isn’t going away—but with your guidance, she can use it in a way that lifts her up instead of tearing her down.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: dad, dad and daughter connection, dads, dads with daughter, father, fatherhood, fathers, social media

Bedtime Storytelling Making Up Stories That Strengthen Connection

April 11, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional moment at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re talking about one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to connect with your daughter—making up bedtime stories.

Now, you might be thinking, “I’m not a storyteller.” But let me tell you—you don’t have to be! Your daughter isn’t looking for a perfect, polished fairy tale. She just wants your voice, your imagination, and your presence.

So today, I’m going to show you why storytelling matters, how to make up your own fun stories, and simple tricks to keep your daughter engaged.

Why Making Up Stories is So Powerful

Bedtime stories do more than help kids fall asleep—they:

?? Strengthen emotional bonds – She’ll remember these moments long after childhood.
?? Spark creativity – When you make up stories, you encourage her imagination to grow.
?? Create a safe space – Stories can help her process feelings, fears, and dreams in a fun way.

And let’s be real—kids LOVE stories. It’s an adventure, a ritual, and a memory all rolled into one.

How to Make Up Stories (Even If You Think You Can’t!)

  1. Start with Something Familiar

Not sure where to begin? Use what she already loves!

  • Her favorite animal – “Once upon a time, a tiny panda discovered a secret cave…”
  • A magical version of your family – “There was a dad and daughter who found a time-traveling bicycle…”
  • A real event with a twist – “Remember that time we went to the beach? What if we found a mermaid there?”
  1. Let Her Be Part of the Story

Make it interactive! Ask her:

  • “What should happen next?”
  • “Should the dragon be friendly or scary?”
  • “What superpower does the main character have?”

This makes her feel involved and keeps her engaged.

  1. Use the “Three-Part Formula”

If you’re stuck, follow this simple storytelling structure:
1?? The Setup – Introduce a character and a fun setting (“A little girl named Lily lived in a house made of candy…”).
2?? The Adventure – Something exciting happens (“One day, she woke up and her house was missing!”).
3?? The Resolution – Find a happy or funny ending (“Turns out, the gummy bears had eaten it all while she was asleep!”).

Keep it short and playful—it’s not about perfection, it’s about connection.

  1. Add Special Elements Just for Her

Want to make your stories extra special? Try this:

  • A recurring character – A talking squirrel, a wise old owl, or a magical teddy bear that appears in every story.
  • A catchphrase – Something silly like, “And then… the world turned upside down!” that you say every night.
  • A secret ending just for her – End every story with “And the best part? This story never really ends… because tomorrow, there’s a new adventure!”

Quick Takeaways: Start Tonight!

Here’s your challenge: Tonight, make up a simple bedtime story for your daughter.

? Use something familiar (her favorite animal, place, or toy).
? Make it interactive—let her help create the story.
? Keep it fun and relaxed—don’t overthink it!

You’ll be amazed how much she treasures these moments—and how quickly storytelling becomes one of her favorite bedtime traditions.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
Hey, dads. Welcome to the dad connection in five, your quick practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter, one intentional moment at a time. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis. And today, we’re talking about one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to connect with your daughter, making up bedtime stories. Now you might be thinking I’m not a storyteller, but let me tell you, you don’t have to be. Your daughter is isn’t looking for a perfect polished fairy tale. She just wants your voice, your imagination, and your presence. So today, I’m gonna show you why storytelling matters, how to make up your own fun stories and simple tricks to keep your daughter engaged.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:47]:
So why is it so important? Well, it strengthens emotional bonds. She’s gonna remember these moments long after childhood. It also sparks creativity. When you make up stories, you encourage her imagination to grow and it creates a safe space. Stories can help her process feelings, dreams in a fun way. Okay. So let’s be real. Kids love stories.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:09]:
It’s an adventure, a ritual, and a memory all rolled into one. So how do you make up stories even if you can’t and you think you can’t? Well, first, start with something familiar. And if you don’t really know where to begin, use something that Shorty loves. Use her stuffed animal. So once upon a time, a tiny panda discovered a secret cave, a magical version of your family. There was a dad and a daughter who found a time traveling bicycle, a real event with a twist. Remember that time when we went to the beach? What if we found a mermaid there? Let her be a part of the story. Make it interactive.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:45]:
Ask her, what should happen next? Should the dragon be friendly or scary? What superpower does the main character have? This makes her feel both involved and keeps her engaged. You can also use the three part formula. If you’re stuck, follow this simple storytelling structure. First, the setup. Introduce a character and a fun setting. A little girl named Lily lived in a house made of candy. The adventure, something exciting happens. One day, she woke up and her house was missing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:19]:
And third, the resolution. Find a happy or funny ending. Turns out, the gummy bears had eaten it all while she was asleep. Keep it short and playful. It’s not about perfection. It’s about connection. Add special elements just for her because that makes it special. It makes it extra special when you do that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:39]:
So try this. A recurring character, let’s say a talking squirrel, a wise owl, or a magical teddy bear that appear in every story. A catchphrase, you can use something silly like, and then the world turned upside down, that you say every night, a secret ending just for her. End every story with and the best part, this story never really ends because tomorrow, there’s a new adventure. So some quick takeaways from today. Start tonight. Here’s your challenge. Tonight, make up a simple bedtime story for your daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:13]:
Use something familiar, her favorite animal, place, toy. Make it interactive. Let her create the story. Keep it fun and relaxed. Don’t overthink it. You’ll be amazed how much she treasures these moments and how quickly become storytelling becomes one of her favorite bedtime traditions. Okay. That’s it for today’s dad connection in five.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:37]:
If you found this helpful, share it with another dad who wants a simple way to connect. Until next time, keep telling stories, keep making memories, and keep strengthening that pot.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:49]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:04:20]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast.

Musical Outro Performer [00:04:54]:
Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and muscle men. Get out and beat the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: bedtime storytelling, dad and daughter connection, dads, father, fatherhood, fathers, storytime

The Evolution of Gaming: Inclusivity and Safety for Kids

March 24, 2025 by dadofdivas

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Raising children in a digital age presents unique challenges, especially when it comes to video games. Aubrey Quinn, Senior Vice President of Communication and Public Affairs for the Entertainment Software Association, joined us this week on the Dad & Daughter Connection podcast to share her insights on guiding your children through the world of gaming.

The first step in ensuring your child’s gaming experience aligns with your values is understanding the Entertainment Software Ratings Board (ESRB) system. Established in 1994, the ESRB provides ratings for video games similar to those used for movies, helping parents determine if the content is appropriate for their children’s age and maturity levels. Aubrey urges parents to start here but to also engage in deeper evaluations by looking up game ratings and descriptions through quick internet searches or the ESRB’s own website and app.

Advanced Parental Controls: Your Best Ally

Today’s gaming consoles come equipped with robust parental controls that were unthinkable a few years ago. These controls allow parents to set time limits, restrict access based on ESRB ratings, and even block player-to-player interactions, making it possible to tailor the gaming experience to suit each child’s needs.

Aubrey highlights that these controls are particularly beneficial for managing screen time and ensuring that your children aren’t playing games or communicating with strangers in ways that are inappropriate for their age. By using these built-in controls effectively, you can create a safer, more controlled gaming environment for your children.

The Power of Representation in Games

Inclusivity and positive representation in video games have seen significant improvements in recent years. Games now often allow players to create avatars and characters that resonate with their identities and experiences, fostering a sense of inclusion and diversity.

For instance, Aubrey mentions her daughter’s fondness for Sims, a game where players can create and customize characters and worlds, and the recent inclusion of female athletes in major sports games like Madden and FIFA. This advancing inclusivity helps children see themselves and their interests represented in their virtual worlds, which can be extraordinarily empowering and validating.

Navigating Online Multiplayer

The rise of online multiplayer games introduces new social dynamics and potential risks like cyberbullying. Aubrey underscores the importance of having open conversations with your children about online interactions. Learning how to mute, block, and report inappropriate behavior can help children navigate these spaces safely.

Additionally, parents should be aware that not all games feature online multiplayer modes. Titles like “Hogwarts Legacy” and “Astro Bot” are excellent single-player alternatives that eliminate the risk of interacting with strangers.

Staying Informed and Engaged

The gaming industry continues to evolve, constantly introducing new features and technologies aimed at enhancing player experience and safety. As Aubrey reveals, companies are implementing more comprehensive cross-platform functionalities and creating specific parental control ecosystems that adapt to new gaming trends.

She advises parents to stay informed about these changes, utilizing resources like the ESRB’s website, which offers family gaming guides and safety tips. Staying updated ensures that parents can effectively use these evolving technologies for their children’s benefit.

Being proactive and involved in your child’s gaming life can make it a safe and enjoyable experience, fostering fun and learning while keeping potential pitfalls at bay. By understanding game ratings, utilizing parental controls, and engaging in ongoing conversations about online safety, parents can help their children navigate the complex world of video games.

For more insights from gaming experts like Aubrey Quinn, tune into the Dad & Daughter Connection podcast and explore resources offered by organizations like the Entertainment Software Ratings Board.


By bridging the gap between enjoyment and safety, we can all ensure that our daughters grow up empowered and confident in their gaming experiences.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

 

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dad & Daughter Connection podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters’ lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, we have an opportunity to learn and grow from each other, but also from other people to be able to be those dads that you want to be for your daughters. And every week, I love being able to bring you different people with different experiences that can offer different resources that can help you to be that father that you wanna be. This week, we got another great guest with us. Aubrey Quinn is with us, and Aubrey is a senior vice president of communication and public affairs for the Entertainment Software Association. She leads ESA’s integrated communication efforts to showcase the dynamic impact the video game industry has on people, culture, and the economy. Now I know we just had the holidays not too long ago.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:13]: And when you run across holidays, birthdays, etcetera, many times these days, kids want video games. And as you’re starting to think about those type of things, there are definite questions that come up, especially if you’re just introducing your kids to video games or even if they’ve been there for quite a while and they’ve been playing games. There’s a lot of aspects to gaming and things that you need to be thinking about. So I’m really excited to be able to have Aubrey here to talk about a number of different things today and to have her as a guest on the show. Aubrey, thanks so much for being here.

Aubrey Quinn Thanks for having me. I’m excited to talk about games with you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:51]: Well, I’m really excited about it as well. You You know, and I was I’ve been a gamer for a long time, and I’ve tried to get my kids to be gamers. They were willing to do some, not all. So I can’t say that I was completely successful in making them gamers, but I tried. Now, in preparing for talking to you today, I started thinking about a lot of different things. But I guess first and foremost, I said at the very beginning, there are a lot of games that are out on the market today. And as parents are trying to watch over what their kids are doing, especially as they’re young, I know that there’s the ESRB ratings that are out there that parents can use to assess whether a game aligns with their values or the maturity of a child. But beyond those rankings that are out there, how can parents evaluate whether a game aligns with their values or their maturity level?

Aubrey Quinn [00:02:49]: That is the important question. Right? And I think we ask that of ourselves as parents, not just for games, but for any form of entertainment. So you mentioned that you’ve been gaming for a long time. I love to hear that. You know, I started playing video games with the original Nintendo Entertainment System. System. I grew up with Sega at m 64, all through college. You know, that’s something that we did for fun.

Aubrey Quinn [00:03:12]: Games are meant to entertain. They are meant to be fun. And so when I’m talking to parents, I always like to remind them, we’re raising kids. We want them to be independent, functional adults, and we’ll talk a lot about that, I’m sure. But let’s remind them that life is fun. There is joy in this journey and to enjoy so many parts of it, and it’s okay to play. And there is power in play, so play and have fun. But games are video games are a form of entertainment just like movies and TV shows and books and music.

Aubrey Quinn[00:03:44]: And just like there are some books that I don’t want my 10 year old daughter reading, there are some video games I don’t want my 10 year old playing. And so the same way we evaluate all forms of entertainment, movies, TV shows, music, what’s appropriate for our kids, we have to think about that with video games too. An example I used to someone the other day, they were like, but games games are for kids. And I said, well, you know, there’s this very popular card game on the market called Cards Against Humanity. Not gonna give that to my 10 year old daughter. And it is a game. It is designed and meant for adults. And so you mentioned the ESRB ratings.

Aubrey Quinn [00:04:22]: I think it’s really important to reiterate that for listeners who maybe don’t know about it. The entertainment software rating board was established in 1994. So for over 30 years now, they’ve been rating video games. So the same way you can tell if a movie that’s r is probably not appropriate for your little kids at home. Video game that’s rated m for mature is not meant for little kids. It’s entertainment that’s designed for more mature audiences. It’s gonna have more mature visuals. It’s going to have more mature themes.

Aubrey Quinn [00:04:54]: So if you have younger kids at home, look at e for everyone. Look at e for e ten plus, everyone 10 and older. Get to know those ratings. And, you know, my best tip, trick with ratings is if your kid asks for a specific game, don’t just assume that it’s meant for their age. Just do a quick Internet search, name of game plus ESRB rating. ESRB has a great app. They have a great website, but you can find it on a quick Internet search. And make sure that the content start there.

Aubrey Quinn [00:05:25]: Make sure that it’s age appropriate for your kids. From there, we can talk about different features like player to player communication and game spending, screen time. Right? There are a lot of other elements to consider. But fundamentally, games are a form of entertainment. Not all forms of entertainment are appropriate for every age. So make sure that the content in the game is something that whether it’s age, culture, religion, personal opinions, feelings, that you decide it’s right for the daughters, sons in your home.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:56]: Now, you know, you talked about the maturity level, but I’ve also noticed over the years that the gaming industry has truly evolved in addressing inclusivity when it comes to the games that are out there in the market today, and also really expanding in positive representation within games. As you think about those aspects of inclusivity, positive representation, what’s your parents look for in that regard?

Aubrey Quinn [00:06:25]: What I love about games is that there is a game for everyone, for everyone. You know, if you love tennis and you have a child who’s taking tennis lessons, topspin, they can be their favorite tennis players. They can be Coco. They can be Serena. They can be and embody their favorite tennis players. So you can do that with NFL and Madden, certainly, but you can also do it with FC. The new EA game has women’s soccer players all throughout it. MLB, the show, for the first time ever, has historic women baseball players in the 2024 version.

Aubrey Quinn [00:07:02]: And so like you said, the industry is being really, really intentional about representation in terms of accurate and historical characters and, public figures. But, also, I have a 10 year old daughter at home. Her favorite game is Sims. And she loves and she has this huge imagination. She wants to create worlds. She has created this whole village. There’s not a single man in it. This girl has created a world where it’s just just women just women and daughters, and that is her utopia.

Aubrey Quinn [00:07:38]: But, you know, she can create characters. And something I love about games, but I think often gets overlooked, is that you can play as someone, like I was saying, you can play as a cultural figure, a historical figure. You step into a game, and you are going to be Mario or you’re going to be Sonic the Hedgehog. Right? Those characters exist. More and more games exist where you create your avatar, and you can be whoever you want to be. So you don’t get assigned a character. You get to decide who you are. So Hogwarts Legacy, top selling game in 2023 inspired by the Harry Potter franchise, just this gorgeous, beautiful role playing game.

Aubrey Quinn [00:08:21]: You create your character. So my experience playing that game, I can create someone who looks like me. I can create someone who looks like my best friend. My daughter can play as a man if she wants to. Right? She can create whoever you want to. So in terms of games, you know, when you take if you play Forza, you play Gran Turismo, it’s you. You can’t see the character. You’re you’re the race car driver.

Aubrey Quinn [00:08:46]: Whoever you think in your mind that is, no other form of entertainment does that. You know? Unless you’re reading, you’re imagining in your mind, but it it lets you create avatars. And so in addition to, I think, being more representative in terms of cast characters, official characters within games, the ability to create your identity, to create your avatar is such a cool and unique part of the video game experience.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:14]: You know, another thing that has become much more prevalent in so many games is the online multiplayer games that are becoming so popular. And some parents talk about the fact that there are some things to be aware of, things like cyberbullying or other risk factors that parents need to have conversations with their kids about. As you think about that online nature of some of these games that are out there, what advice do you have for parents that are navigating the social aspects of gaming, like online multiplayer chats or forming teams with strangers and some of those risks that go along with it.

Aubrey Quinn [00:09:54]: If you’ll give me a a minute, because this one actually well, it feels like it should be a simple answer. There’s quite a lot to unpack. So we talked a little bit about my childhood playing video games. And you had a console, you plugged it into your TV and the wall, and then you take a single game, you’d stick it in. If you were lucky, you had 2 controllers. You know? And then maybe with n 64, you had 4, and you could all do Mario Kart together. But there wasn’t the online connection.

Aubrey Quinn [00:10:20]: You played either by yourself or with the people in the room on the couch fixed to you. And that has changed. And not just because of video games, but because of the Internet and mobility and and how we interact with people online. And I’m I’m a mom of 3. My oldest is in college. My youngest is at home. And I have had to navigate with them what does communicating with people look like online when you’re young? What does it look like when you’re a teenager? And now my son who lives across the country is about to turn 21. I I don’t have a lot of visibility in who he talks to and what he sends, and I I have to have had those hard, difficult, important conversations when he was at home, and I could talk to him about what do we text, what pictures do we take, what do we share online, is someone really who they say they are? We have to have conversations with our children today that we didn’t have with our parents when we were young and growing up because the Internet wasn’t a thing yet.

Aubrey Quinn [00:11:20]: So I’d start by saying the reality of the Internet is much bigger than games. And those are important conversations for us to be having with our children. I’ve lived through it. I’m having to have them now with my 11 year old daughter as we think about what online gaming looks like for her. So I think that’s part 1 is that this is this is part of parenting now. We just have we have to have these conversations with our kids about interacting with people online. People we know, like you said, bullying. You know, we know cyberbullying is happening across different online platforms with kids, but also interacting with strangers.

Aubrey Quinn [00:11:55]: Like, these are just things we have to deal with that maybe we didn’t have to deal with when we were kids. Technology has changed. In terms of gaming specifically, greatness for parents. Not all games are multiplayer games. You know, Hogwarts Legacy that I mentioned is a single player game. Astro Bot won game of the year in December. It’s a gorgeous, fun, it’s meant for kids, family friendly game, single player game. Right? So you can still give your kids the most popular games, top selling games that aren’t multiplayer games if you’re not ready for that.

Aubrey Quinn [00:12:29]: Right? That’s a personal decision you have to make as a family. The good news for parents is that virtually every device that you can play video games on, including the consoles, the Switch, the Xbox, the PlayStation, have parental controls built into them. And they have been a a game changer, I can say, for for me and my family. They let you put limits based on those ESRB ratings we talked about. They let you set time limits. You know, my daughter yesterday had an early release, and I got a text from her. She says, why can’t I play the Xbox? It was because I have it set up that she can’t play until after school gets out. But she was home early because of the early release day.

Aubrey Quinn [00:13:07]: And but my console enforced that rule even though I wasn’t home to do it. So these are the parental controls that exist, but they also let you limit or block player to player communication. I mentioned my daughter loves Sims. Sims is a multiplayer game. She can’t play with anyone online. She’s creating these whole universes and worlds. For her, it’s a single player game because I’m not ready for her to communicate with strangers. She’s only 10.

Aubrey Quinn [00:13:33]: We’re not ready. Who I do let her play with are her cousins who live across the country and her big brothers who live across the country while they’re in college. If you think about the experience I could be giving her, she’s 10, her brother’s 20, if I force them to talk on FaceTime once a week, it was an awkward conversation, what do they talk about? I can’t tell you how adorable it is to hear the 2 of them playing games together and strategizing and communicating and teasing each other. And they do this on their own, and they’re playing. And it’s hard to find things 20 year old boys wanna do with 10 year old sisters. They love to play video games together, and that is something I could not give my family without the power of multiplayer games and the Internet and that technology. I will also add that not every family looks like mine. And there are kids who are immunocompromised.

Aubrey Quinn [00:14:27]: There are kids who are neurodivergent. There are kids who have disabilities or who are accident survivors, and it’s changed their ability to play different things. During COVID, I saw firsthand the power of connecting with friends and building those social connections over video games and allowing our kids to play together in a way that they couldn’t. You know, my son got very big into esports during COVID. He was in high school. They canceled all of sports. He couldn’t play football. He couldn’t play soccer.

Aubrey Quinn [00:14:56]: I mean, all of his high school sports experience was canceled. And while we were trying to keep our kids safe by social distancing, they were able to play with each other online. And hearing him laugh and connect with his friends, I mean, they couldn’t we literally weren’t allowing him to do that because we were not sure at the beginning of COVID what the impact was gonna be. And so there are a lot of reasons why multiplayer games are powerful, really, really important for social connection and engagement. It’s great for multigenerational play. You know, grandparents playing with kids across the country. So many benefits to it. That said, strangers can be scary.

Aubrey Quinn [00:15:35]: We have these conversations with our kids when they go to the park for the first time by themselves, so we drop them off at the mall for the first time by themselves. We, as parents, have to talk to our kids about talking to strangers, both in real life and online. Use those parental controls. But, also, you know, if someone approaches you on the DC metro, where I live, and it’s saying something uncomfortable, it’s hard to avoid that situation. I have to get off the train. If someone does something in a video game, I can mute them, I can block them, I can report them. These are tools that exist in most games, the majority of games. And our kids should know about it.

Aubrey Quinn [00:16:14]: Our kids should be prepared to use them. We, as parents, should know about it. And this last thing, and then I we can move on. But such a big piece of advice for all of this is watch your kids play. See the games they play. See how they interact with other people. Listen to the types of conversations they’re having. Because as they get older, you know, if your kids are 15, 16, 17, 18, again, preparing to go to college, they do need to learn how to interact with people in real life and online.

Aubrey Quinn [00:16:41]: So pay attention. See how that in game communication works, what they’re talking about, how they interact with people. It’s very different than social media platforms, other form of communication. I mean, it’s short. It’s only that time of the game. It’s not like there’s a wall and an instafeed. You don’t get sent things through algorithms. Video game communications are very different.

Aubrey Quinn [00:17:03]: And so I think for parents to feel comfortable, pay attention because it’s changed since we were kids, doesn’t look like the NES anymore. So watch what they’re doing, and you can figure out what you want your rules to be, how you want to advise them. And your kids will love explaining Fortnite or Minecraft or whatever they’re playing to you. Sorry. That was a very long answer, but I hope that helped unpack the in game communications piece a little bit.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:28]: It definitely does. Now you’re in a unique situation of being able to see the gaming industry from a different perspective than many parents would. So as you look ahead from your association and what you see in the industry, how do you see gaming evolving in ways that will impact the way parents need to monitor and guide their children’s gaming experiences?

Aubrey Quinn [00:17:52]: Love that question. So so much of what I see in the industry as they think about what comes next is how to improve the player experience. So keep in mind, this this is one thing I didn’t appreciate until I worked in the game industry. Time is a finite resource. So games want to be the form of entertainment that you choose, that you love because you love it. It’s valuable to you. If you have a negative experience with a don’t like the book, you’re gonna put it down. You’re not gonna read it.

Aubrey Quinn [00:18:23]: If you don’t like the game, you’re gonna you’re if you have negative experiences consistently in a game, you’re gonna stop playing it. You’ll find another game. You’ll do something else. So they benefit from creating the most positive player experiences. And so what I have found is that as technology evolves, the ability, as you said, to interact with other players is that they’re continuing to look for new forms of technology, new services. And I’ll give an example that I think is relevant to the player conversation. Epic Games creates Fortnite, Rocket League, some of those popular games for young players who are just starting, and a lot of them are the multiplayer games. They have done some really unique things because they are one of the first games to be a cross platform.

Aubrey Quinn [00:19:11]: And what that means is I don’t have to buy the game for the Xbox. I don’t have to buy the game for the PlayStation. I can log in to my Fortnite account on any system. So if I go to a friend’s house and they have PlayStation, I can log in to my account there. If I’m at my house and I have a PC, I can log in to my account there. I can play with my friends who might not have a Switch or a PlayStation. Right? So you can all play across platform. They have set up parental controls that transcend platforms.

Aubrey Quinn [00:19:38]: They also, within the game itself, have different rated sections. So Fortnite, I believe, is rated t for teen. It might be e 10 plus, so I think it’s t for teen, the core multiplayer game. But now within Fortnite, they’ve done this great collaboration with Lego. They’re talking about doing other collaborations with Disney, and these are rated e for everyone. So if you aren’t ready for your kid to play Battle Royale version of Fortnite that we all know sorry. I need to send that to voice mail. You can play the e rated version, and that I think we should expect to see, but that version of Fortnite and Epic Games parental controls didn’t exist, call it, 3 years ago when I first started working at ESA.

Aubrey Quinn [00:20:26]: So as you ask, like, what’s gonna evolve and what’s gonna change, I think companies are gonna continue to keep up. They’re gonna continue to innovate, which means parents have to continue to keep up and continue to innovate. Because if I got my kid Fortnite 3 years ago, didn’t have the parental controls, maybe I want them now. And so there is a little bit of self education. Find out what your kids like, what games they’re playing, and then make sure you know what the resources are available within those games. That’s what I think parents need to commit to. It’s like if you get a subscription service, right, like a Netflix or a Disney plus, you can have parental, like a parent account, you can have a kid account, you can put different ratings on it. That didn’t exist when I first got Netflix.

Aubrey Quinn [00:21:08]: Right? We all just use the family the family account, and then my kids could watch House of Cards or whenever I was watching. And that’s what parents are gonna have to keep up with is as the technology advances to keep kids safe, are we adopting the technology and using it too?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:23]: One final question as we finish up today. As you look at kind of where you sit, are there specific resources or communities that you’d recommend parents recommend for parents who want to stay informed about gaming trends and safety tips or other issues that would help them to be able to have these conversations with their kids into the future?

Aubrey Quinn [00:21:47]: The esrb.org, they have a family gaming guide. They have all the ratings. They put out a blog that tells you like, they give information about specific games, what you should know about Fortnite, what you should know about Minecraft. The ESRB blog and website is a fantastic resource. So I would point parents to ESRB and FOCI.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:18]: Well, Aubrey, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for the work that you’re doing with the Entertainment Software Association, as well as for all of the information that you shared today, and I wish you all the best.

Aubrey Quinn [00:22:30]: Thank you so much. Bye, Chris.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:31]: We’re all in the same boat, And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast, calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Get out and be the world to Them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: Aubry Quinn, balancing game and real-life communication, building social connections through gaming, cross-platform gaming, cyberbullying in games, dad, Dad & Daughter Connection, dads, dads with daughters, dads with daughters podcast, daughter, daughters, educational video games, Entertainment Software Association, esports during COVID, ESRB ratings, evaluating video games, father, fatherhood, fathers, Fortnite parental controls, inclusivity in video games, limiting game time, managing screen time, monitoring video game content, Nintendo Entertainment System, online multiplayer games, parental controls, parental guidance in gaming, podcast, positive representation in games, raising strong independent women, resources for parents on gaming., safety in online gaming, single-player vs multiplayer games, social aspects of gaming, technology and gaming, video game avatars, video game industry impact, video game industry trends, video games, video games for kids, videogame

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