Dad of Divas

One Dad's Quest to Regain Control of his Kingdom

A Change In Our Format

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Hey everyone, I wanted to take a few minutes to share a little change that’s coming to The Dad & Daughter Connection.

For the past several years, I’ve been bringing you a new episode every single week, and I am incredibly grateful for everyone who listens, shares an episode, recommends the podcast to a friend, or simply takes the time to tune in. This podcast means a lot to me, and getting to have conversations with amazing dads, daughters, authors, experts, and people who have something meaningful to teach us about fatherhood has been an incredible journey.

But I’ve also been reminded of something that I talk about on this podcast all the time: being present matters.

As much as I love doing this podcast, I’m also a dad, a husband, and someone with a lot of other responsibilities and commitments. And I’ve realized that trying to maintain a weekly schedule can sometimes mean I’m stretching myself a little too thin.

So, beginning today, The Dad & Daughter Connection will be moving from a weekly podcast to an every-other-week schedule.

Now, I want to be very clear: this isn’t about slowing down or giving you less. In fact, it’s about making sure I can continue giving you the kind of conversations and content you’ve come to expect from this podcast.

I want to have the time to find great guests, ask thoughtful questions, have meaningful conversations, and produce episodes that are worth your time. And just as importantly, I want to make sure I’m protecting time for the people who matter most to me—my family.

Because if I’m going to spend my time talking about the importance of being present for our daughters, I need to make sure I’m practicing what I preach.

So, you’re still going to hear the stories, the conversations, the laughs, and hopefully a few things that make you think differently about being a dad and raising strong, confident, independent daughters. You’ll just hear them every other week instead of every week.

I hope you’ll stick with me for the journey. And if you’ve been listening all along, thank you. I truly appreciate you being part of The Dad & Daughter Connection community.

Until next time, keep connecting with your daughters, keep having those important conversations, and most importantly, keep showing up.

Building Father-Daughter Connections Through Presence and Support

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Are you a dad striving to forge a deeper, lasting relationship with your daughter? The latest episode of the “Dad and Daughter Connection” podcast is a must-listen. Hosted by Dr. Christopher Lewis, this heartfelt conversation with guest Craig Parks spills over with practical wisdom, real-life stories, and a focus on the small moments that truly matter in father-daughter relationships.

A central theme in this episode is the extraordinary power of being present. Craig Parks reflects on the transition from seeking only “big moments” to cherishing the everyday interactions—whether it’s sharing a chat during the drive to school, game nights, or the simple rituals at bedtime. These small but consistent acts of presence, he argues, lay the foundation for trust and connection that daughters carry into adulthood.

As the episode unfolds, the conversation shifts to the challenges and joys of raising daughters through their tween years. Craig Parks emphasizes the importance of balancing guidance with allowing independence. He shares, with refreshing honesty, the natural struggles of parenting—highlighting the need for self-reflection, giving space for children to assert themselves, and not taking it personally when daughters begin to assert their own identities.

Another powerful takeaway is the value of supporting your child’s passions and dreams. Craig Parks’s support for his daughter’s love of music and theater—showing up for rehearsals, being her biggest cheerleader, and even creating a “Daddy Daughter Duo”—serves as a model for embracing who your child truly is, not who you expect them to be.

The podcast doesn’t shy away from the tough stuff either. Craig Parks candidly shares a parenting mistake, underlining the importance of apologizing and repairing relationships. This humility and willingness to grow set the tone for authentic connection.

Rounding out the episode, Dr. Christopher Lewis and Craig Parks discuss actionable tips, from fostering safe communication to managing your own well-being as a dad.

Ready for more heartfelt advice and stories that inspire? Tune in to this episode of “Dad and Daughter Connection.” You’ll come away equipped and encouraged, with fresh ideas to nurture the most important relationship in your—and your daughter’s—life.

Listen now and start building those everyday moments that last a lifetime!

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to connect with one another, working toward building those strong relationships that we want to have with our daughters one day at a time. And it is so important that you show up, because every day that you show up shows your daughters that you care, shows your daughters that you’re in it to be able to be the dad that they want and that you want to be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:18]:
And that’s why this podcast is here. It is here to be able to give you some tools for your toolbox, to provide you some perspective and allow for you to learn from some other people that have gone through different experiences that can give you some different perspective that can help you to be the dad that you want to be. Today, we’ve got a great guest. Craig Parks is with us. And Craig is someone I’ve known for a few years. He’s a past guest on my other podcast, Dads With Daughters, that I did for many years. And I asked him to come back to talk about where we are today, because the last time we chatted was about. About five years ago, I think.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:56]:
And things are definitely different. Kids are older, and life is different in many different ways. So I’m excited to be able to talk to him, especially about his relationship with his daughter, and to be able to share him with you. Craig, thanks so much for being here today.

Craig Parks [00:02:09]:
It’s an honor. Thank you, Christopher. I appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:11]:
Well, I really appreciate you being here today and for sharing this journey that you’ve been on with your daughter. And I know she’s in those tween years, so we’ll be. We’ll. We’ll talk a little bit about that, too. But one of the things that I love talking about first is that each of us as a dad, really want to create those moments, those moments that Our kids will remember. And I guess for you, as you think about your relationship with your daughter, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with your daughter and what made it so special?

Craig Parks [00:02:39]:
For me, we often will think about kind of the really big moments, and certainly those are going to happen. But to be honest with you, my focus is less on the big moments and understanding that most of parenthood is actually made up of the everyday small moments and really trying to be present for those. Right. Whether it’s like when I’m driving her to school every day, am I present, am I with her, are we sharing something in the evening when we’re hanging out, am I on my phone, or am I like, really with her? You know, are we playing games, are we talking, are we. And if she’s going through any kind of struggle, like at bedtime, when she opens up a little bit more, am I listening in a way that will make her want to continue to. To open up and see me as a trusted source of support? So there’s some just amazing moments of watching her on stage, she’s in musical theater, or just playing Rummy Cube with her often, or she’s also a musician. And so for me, like, what’s really special is when she sits down at the piano and we’re starting to put together a little thing called the Daddy Daughter Duo. And our dream is to go out and gig together.

Craig Parks [00:03:40]:
So anytime we play any music and harmonize together, those moments are so incredible. But I don’t look towards, like, the big moments I want to soak in because I just know how fast it goes. I know that in a matter of six years can be out of the house. And it’s like I just want to make the most of the tiny moments each bedtime that she still wants me there every time she gives me a hug and wants to hug me. And as you mentioned, she’s in her tween years now, so I don’t want to make it sound like it’s all roses either, because she is in her individuation process, which is a natural process. Right. So there are some really hard moments to too, where she’s very defiant and she’s bumping up against those boundaries and that’s her job as well. So that’s really kind of what’s in my heart around that.

Craig Parks [00:04:22]:
I mean, it’s a good question. And I know that we will look back and I, you know, when I look back on her 11 years already, I mean, the pandemic was actually a really huge one, honestly. And that’s where we created part two, Party Central. We did a weekly interactive show together to kind of get us through the pandemic and help others get through the pandemic. And we created this amazing interactive family variety show for people. So that’s a memory that’s like, wow, that’s really huge.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:46]:
Now, with your daughter getting into those tween years, there is a point in time where your daughter goes from the daughter that is still holding your hand and wants you there and has those stars in their eyes as they’re looking at you and being its dad. Now, they still say it’s dad, but they’re looking at that independence, and they want that independence. How do you balance guiding your daughter while also giving her the independence to grow into the person she’s becoming?

Craig Parks [00:05:11]:
Such a great, great question. And, you know, I think when we listen to podcasts or it’s easy to think of, like, oh, there’s an expert on. And they have it all together. And, you know, and I just want to be really honest. I think that, first of all, it is a great question. It’s an important question. And I think it’s important for us parents to remember that. That we’re never going to be perfect.

Craig Parks [00:05:31]:
And so that balance between fostering her independence and when she was like, oh, I want my daddy, but there’s that part of her that’s like, you are embarrassing me. You are gross, and get away from me. For me, I just do my best to, one, not take it personally when things get really, really hard. And two, to actually understand development, I think, is really important for us dads as well to know what is actually natural. Like, for them to start breaking away is actually natural. And if we’re hoping that they’re going to be continue to look at us like, oh, Daddy, you want to hold our hands when they’re 15 and 16 and 17, that’s actually not inv their best interests. I’ll share this with you. I was nervous, and I think when we spoke many years ago on the podcast, I shared this, too.

Craig Parks [00:06:12]:
I was actually quite scared to have a daughter. As somebody who’s worked with children of all ages for over three decades, and it wasn’t because I was afraid I was going to love my daughter. It was because I think my knowledge of what. What girls and women go through, it’s like, wow, that’s tough. And. And so when I found out I was having a daughter, it’s like, okay, I want to do everything I can to help my daughter own every bit of her power. And. And so I created a mantra for her even when she was in utero.

Craig Parks [00:06:39]:
And her mantra is, I am powerful and creative. And it is something I just. She is. I just shared with her almost every single day of her life. And what’s great is she’s actually really internalized it. And yet the irony is that when she owns that power and that creativity and uses it, quote, unquote, against me, I have to take a step back, not take it personally, and realize, okay, she actually is asserting her independence. And. And I want her to be.

Craig Parks [00:07:03]:
I want her to be strong, and I don’t want her to just follow the crowd. I don’t want her if even in her dating life, if she’s feeling a little bit weird internally, I want her to trust her intuition. I want her to trust and feel confident. Say, this doesn’t feel right. So I’m not looking for a daughter who’s just going to obey me and be completely obedient. No, I want. I want a daughter who’s going to be able to question me when she feels like something is not fair or just or right. I want to foster that in her so that I know that when she’s out in the world, she has the confidence to do that and know that that’s.

Craig Parks [00:07:35]:
That’s actually a good thing, that that’s a really wonderful thing to do. So there’s tension in that. Right? Because of course, who doesn’t want the sweet, loving daughter, right, that’s just going to want to hug us all the time. But I think it’s important to know that that’s actually not in their best interest, that it’s. That they do need to break away. They need to actually go up against the boundaries. And it’s our job as parents to one continually question, are these boundaries still developmentally appropriate and are they fair? And if they are, it’s our job to, even against their resistance, to hold firm and be okay with them hating us in that moment because they’re going to say some things that if we could take personally, but I think our job is to not take personally and stay calm, as calm as we can, and loving and. And have some grace for ourselves as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:19]:
You know, a little bit earlier you talked about that your daughter’s into musical theater, that you can tell that she has some true pass, that you’re wanting to do some gigs with her and to try to get out into the world to showcase what you both have together. And those go into the passions and the dreams that our kids have. And as fathers, we do whatever we can to be able to support those. How do you support your daughter in pursuing her passion and dreams?

Craig Parks [00:08:44]:
Well, I think a lot of it is just like taking her to all the rehearsals, picking her up, and also being there, just being present. My dad was such a hard working dad, just trying to support the family. He missed a lot of my childhood. I think a lot of what I do and what I chose to do as a profession, working with kids, and certainly as a dad, I think was largely driven by a lot of that pain of like wishing that my dad had been kind of more present. I understand. I mean, he, it wasn’t for a bad reason. He was working his tail off trying to support the family. Right.

Craig Parks [00:09:14]:
But I knew I wanted to design a different kind of life for myself as a dad. And so I think the way we support our kids and our daughters is by understanding who they are. So like, my daughter is really into music and musical theater and she never got that into sports and that’s fine. So it’s like trying to understand, like, what are their true gifts, what are their true passions and trying to let them become who they actually are rather than mold them into who we want to be. I mean, look, I wish I was out gigging last year with her already because she could do that. But I also don’t want to be the, the parents, be like, no, we’re going to practice this way and have it be some. I want it to be joyful and connecting. So for me it’s just being present.

Craig Parks [00:09:50]:
When she has rehearsals, I work it out with, with my wife so that who’s going to drive her, who’s going to pick her up? And she sees that dad is often the one doing those things. Every performance I’m there. On the very rare occasions where I can’t make something, I see she’s bummed about it. And for me as a kid, it was just the norm. So the fact that I know my kid is disappointed and can show that to me is actually another beautiful thing that reflects the, the connection that we have, that she can actually express her sadness and disappointment and I can too. But just being there, being present, seeing what they’re into, seeing what they’re passionate about and supporting it, I think is one of the best ways that we can really support our daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:26]:
The other thing that I think a lot of us as dads want to do is be able to show our kids that we believe in them, that we value them. And I guess for you as a dad, what do you do to intentionally make your daughter feel both valued and heard?

Craig Parks [00:10:42]:
We talked about kind of the small moments of each day. I think it happens in the tiniest of moments. Each. Each moment when she’s speaking, don’t be looking at your phone. And I’m guilty of that. And so. But in terms of my intention, that’s what I want to make sure is when she’s speaking, presence, am I present? Am I actually hearing and understanding what she is saying, and am I asking questions that she could tell I’m really thinking about what she’s saying and can I do it without judgment? And that’s tricky for us parents, too, because of course, we’re going to have our judgments about things. But.

Craig Parks [00:11:11]:
And then the other thing is. And this could be hard for us parents, too, is letting them fail, letting them make mistakes, let them learn from those mistakes, giving them space to be able to fail, to not rescue them and. But let them know, like, we’re here, we see you, and we believe in you. This is something I was actually conscious of from really day one, especially with a daughter. I did not want a daughter to learn that she was just helpless. I wanted her to know I believed in her. So I guess a little kid, you know, she. She’d fall off the play equipment or she.

Craig Parks [00:11:40]:
She’d scrape her knee or whatever. And. And I wasn’t just, like, running to her like, are you okay? You know, I was like, get on up. You got this. You know, just letting her know, like, I’m here. I see you. I believe in you. You can get up.

Craig Parks [00:11:50]:
You got it. And obviously, if she was really, really her, I. Obviously, I’d be nurturing and take care of her, but, you know, just let her know, like, whatever it is, like, we can learn from them and we can grow. And so to not get upset if they fail, if they, you know, they don’t do something, they don’t do a chore, it’s like, okay, well, you’re not going to get this until it’s done. But with no anger in the voice of, like, cool. This is the way it is. I think the more us parents can understand our boundaries and understand how to set up kind of natural consequences, it’s easier for us to not lose our cool. And especially as dads, it could be really scary for kids when us dads can lose our cool and lose our temper.

Craig Parks [00:12:25]:
Our. I think our biggest job is really to just work on our own presence and our own being so that our kids just feel safe. Around us to be whatever they need to be. And I know that’s a high bar, but for me, that’s what I’m really

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:37]:
conscious of as a dad now. None of us as dads are perfect. We all make mistakes, and we have to live with those mistakes and learn from those mistakes. What’s a mistake that you’ve made as a father, and what did you learn from it regarding fostering a positive communication with your daughter?

Craig Parks [00:12:55]:
So there’s one memory that. And this happened a lot of years ago. You know, I don’t know how old she was. It was. She was maybe 5 or 6 years old, and it was, like, three days in a row. She kept spilling water in the backseat of the car. And there was one day where, really I lost it. And I grabbed whatever I could.

Craig Parks [00:13:14]:
It turned out to be her artwork. And I used it to, like, dry up the back seat. And Christopher. I felt like such garbage. I felt so bad. Like, I took her creation, I took her art, and in anger, right up the seat, and she was crying. She was really upset. And later that night, you know, when I got calm at bedtime, I really debriefed the whole thing and took full responsibility.

Craig Parks [00:13:37]:
And I apologized. And I think it’s important for our kids to hear us apologize when we make mistakes, if we want them to be able to do that, too, make repairs. And I asked her, too. I told her. I was like, there was no part of that that was right for me to do, and that I felt terrible. And I apologize. And I. And I asked her, I’m like, and I really hope that you’ll forgive me.

Craig Parks [00:13:55]:
And, you know, and she said that she did. And the reason I bring this up is because she still, to this day, will bring that up to give me a hard time. She’s like, dad, you took my art. And, you know, and the fact that, like, that that’s the one that she goes to after all these years, that she doesn’t have, like, 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 of those terrible memories to go to, to me, is, like, a really beautiful thing. It shows that I’ve done a pretty good job of staying pretty calm and peaceful and connected and loving. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t had moments where I haven’t had to apologize to her in all these years. I don’t. I don’t want to set that up.

Craig Parks [00:14:30]:
But what that showed me is that one certainly repairing, repairing, repairing when there is a disconnect, when we have not been our best, repairing that moment revisiting that moment, letting them know that we’ve thought about it and that we were not proud of our moments when we’re. When we’re not at our best and to let them see a vulnerable side of us, that we’re actually thoughtful, we’re reflective, that we care about the relationship. That, I think is one of the biggest, biggest lessons that no matter what goes down, because we will never be perfect, we shouldn’t be perfect. We’ll never, you know, and so when we have those moments, repair, repair, repair. And if we could do that, we keep our relationship strong and we keep that trust. When they see that we’ve reflected and we’ve owned where we have not been our best.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:17]:
Now, one of the things that I know that you’ve done in the past and that you’re working on right now is you started a site called parentingharmony.com and I guess I want to go back to the beginning of this and bring me back to the inception of the idea. And what made you decide that you wanted to venture into this space and start this journey? And what needs were you trying to fill?

Craig Parks [00:15:44]:
So I’m in San Diego, California, and I’ve started two summer camps, and I ran summer camps for about 30 years, and I’ve worked with kids of all ages. And I’m also a professional musician. So I’ve done music with a lot of children, done parents, and taught classes, and there’s a lot of things I’ve done with kids and then having my own. I ended up writing a lot of music, and I wrote a lot of music just in the natural flow of being with my kids. Kids. And I ended up recording an album of music that I wrote with my kids that ended up. And. And when I first released, I thought, oh, I kind of want to be the next Raffy, you know, and, like, just be out there doing this kids album.

Craig Parks [00:16:19]:
But the more I thought about it, and as I was trying to get it out there, I realized, wait a minute. These songs are not just kid songs. These are actually parenting moments. So it was songs like Dancing on Daddy’s Shoulders, where I would actually have my daughter up on my shoulders, and we would sing this song and dance together every day. When she was young, during bath time, I wrote a song for bath time. I wrote a lullaby for my son. I have all these songs that were parenting experiences. And then I thought, wait a minute.

Craig Parks [00:16:45]:
Okay. I have these songs that turn everyday moments into actually positive, beautiful memories. And I’ve also taught so many people how to work with kids. And I actually want to share all of this wisdom so that parents one can be present one they’re not going to look back at their child childhood in regret. Like, oh my God, I missed it in the blink of an eye because I didn’t make the most out of bedtime. The things that happen every day, that’s most of parenting. Because Christopher, you asked about the big moments, right? And we can take our kids to Disneyland and that will be a memorable moment. But most of parenting isn’t that.

Craig Parks [00:17:19]:
Most of parenting is the wake them up, make sure they’re fed, make sure that they’re bathed, make sure that they go to bed at a reasonable hour. All these things that we have to do every day. And so what for me it was like, oh, I feel like I’ve kind of really have something to show parents of how to make the most of the mundane and make up connecting fun. So I created the parenting A to E philosophy. And A stands for our affect, right? I’ve talked about presence, I talked about being common and our affect in our body and in our voice will create the E the effectiveness of the kind of relationship we want. And so, and this is what I taught all the people I trained to work with kids is how do we use our body and how do we use our voice to create connection in a way that’s memorable. And so my parenting aide course teaches parents how to use their body, their voice. It has the 14 songs for that and then there’s 10 games as well that they can do to use the affect that are just really fun, really connecting, that are screen free.

Craig Parks [00:18:15]:
And then there’s bonus material like bedtime rituals and bathtime rituals. So this is to help parents and amazing like and they’ve told me like it has made such a difference and things that they just don’t think about because maybe they’ve never worked with kids, right? Something as simple as lower your body and get down on their eye level. Can you imagine being, you know, if everybody in your world was 10 foot 6 inches and you walked out the door and Everybody was like 2ft taller than you, like how intimidating that world would be. And we forget that that’s the world that our little children are in every day of their lives. And so the simple act of lowering our our bodies and getting eye level creates trust safety. So those are the powerful kind of techniques that I teach in my parenting A to E course. And then the songs are easy, they’re for non musicians that are very, very simple melodies but are super fun and connecting and when you do these as a ritual every day for bedtime, the lullaby or washing hands or bath time or whatever it is, our children will look back on their childhood and they’ll remember, oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah.

Craig Parks [00:19:13]:
I remember we used to sing this song when dad would wake me up. It was the wake up song. So there’s all these different things, and music is one of the most powerful ways to create memories. So I just wanted to share all these things that I had learned and done and created so that there’s more love, more joy and connection that parents have access to. And that for the parents who’ve used this course, that’s what they’ve done. And then I also created out of the Parks Party Central show, every episode had activities that parents could do with their kids. And so I look back on our episodes and I created the Parks Party Central parent child activity book. And it’s 25 screen free activities that parents can do with their kids that are silly.

Craig Parks [00:19:48]:
They’re really fun. And so I have different ways and offerings that parents can take advantage of if they really want to have more fun, more connection, and more joy. That’s what parenting harmony is all about. And you can find these@parentingharmony.com now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:00]:
We always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad connection. 66 more questions to delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Craig Parks [00:20:07]:
Let’s do it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:08]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughter?

Craig Parks [00:20:12]:
Joyful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:13]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received?

Craig Parks [00:20:17]:
Take care of your own well, being first so that you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:21]:
It’s the old adage of the airlines and putting your mask on before you help your child.

Craig Parks [00:20:27]:
We’re stressed and we’re hungry and we’re just a ball of nerves all the time. Like, we just. We can’t be our best. So I meditate every single day.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:35]:
What’s one activity that you and your daughter love doing together?

Craig Parks [00:20:38]:
Playing music. Oh, and I’m going to throw in a bonus one. We are really into Rummy Cube right now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:43]:
It’s a fun game.

Craig Parks [00:20:44]:
Yeah, it’s great.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:45]:
If you could give your daughter one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Craig Parks [00:20:49]:
Take on the mindset of owning your power to create no matter the circumstances.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:55]:
And what’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Craig Parks [00:20:58]:
My heart and capacity to love is much bigger than I even realized.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:04]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters.

Craig Parks [00:21:11]:
The most important thing, I think, is being there, is being present as much as possible. And I know that we have to work right and we have to do different things, but as much as possible, when we are able to be there, be there with an open mind, an open heart, and with curiosity and with love being the foundation of it all.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:30]:
Well, Craig, I just want to say thank you. I really appreciate you being back and sharing your journey with your daughter. If people want to find out more about you, where should they go?

Craig Parks [00:21:39]:
They can go to parentingharmony.com and they can write to me at Craig Parks parentingharmony.com and I also want to. If anybody’s made it this far and they’re actually interested, I want to offer this to your listeners. If you write to me and you want the parenting Harmony, the parenting ate digital course, I will take $200 off the course. That’s way more than 50%. So just write to me and say that you heard me on this podcast and I will get you. I’ll get you that discount. Because if that’s something you want, I also guarantee that if you do this course, you will have more laughter, you will have more joy, and you will have more confidence in your parenting. And.

Craig Parks [00:22:15]:
And ultimately what I want is that for you, more love, more joy, more connection, because that is what will ripple out into a more peaceful world for all of our kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:23]:
Well, Craig, thank you. Thank you not only for that wonderful gift for us, but also for sharing your story today. And I truly wish you all the best.

Craig Parks [00:22:32]:
Thank you, Chris, for always a pleasure to be with you.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:35]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:23:05]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals, we buy them presents and bring your A game. Cause those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can.

Humor, Heart & Hard Truths: Dads Guiding Daughters Toward Adulthood

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If you’re a dad who wants to create a lasting, meaningful bond with your daughter, you won’t want to miss this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection. Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Rob Finlay—bestselling author, accomplished entrepreneur, and dad of four (including three daughters)—for an honest, heartwarming discussion about the joys and challenges of fatherhood.

From the start, Dr. Lewis emphasizes that being a great dad is less about perfection and more about presence and intentional connection. There’s no universal playbook for fatherhood, especially when it comes to raising girls who are confident and independent. That’s why he brings in guests like Rob, who candidly shares both his successes and the lessons learned through mistakes.

One standout theme is the importance of vulnerability and authenticity. Rob talks about never hiding his emotions from his daughters, showing them by example that strength and sensitivity aren’t mutually exclusive. He wanted his girls to see a father who could be both a gentleman and deeply caring—teaching by doing rather than merely telling.

Throughout the conversation, both Dr. Lewis and Rob stress the value of teaching resilience and self-reliance. Rob encouraged his daughters to try new things, pushed them to stick with commitments, and allowed them to experience failure—knowing these moments are key to personal growth. He highlights the importance of letting daughters step into adulthood on their terms, supporting them with guidance rather than control.

Another powerful insight is Rob’s approach to life skills. Prompted by a late-night call from his daughter (“Can I put the green gas in my Jeep?”), Rob realized the value of giving kids the foundational tools they need to navigate adulthood—from financial conversations to problem-solving. His new book, Hey Dad, Everything You Should Have Learned About Life But Didn’t, is packed with practical, real-world advice and a healthy dose of humor to make learning approachable.

Fatherhood isn’t static, and the parent-child relationship evolves—what matters is open, honest communication and the willingness to keep learning together. Whether you’re helping your daughter make big life decisions or just sharing a favorite meal, every interaction counts.

Ready to be inspired? Listen to this heartfelt episode and take away actionable tips to deepen your connection with your daughter. Tune in at Dad and Daughter Connection—and start building those strong, confident relationships, one day at a time.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work together on this journey that we’re on. Learning more, doing more, and trying to be the dads that we want to be, to be able to build those connections that we want with our daughters one day at a time. And I first and foremost want to say thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:13]:
Thank you for always coming back every week and putting yourself out there to learn more. Because all of us are a work in progress and to be honest, none of us know everything that we need to know to be able to be the dads that we want to be. Becoming a dad does not have a playbook. It does. There’s no right way to father. But there’s a lot of things that you can learn along the way to help you to be that engaged, more present dad that you want to become. And especially in raising daughters, there are so many things that we can do to be able to build those positive relationships through positive communication. And that’s why every week I love being able to bring you different people, different people with different experiences that can help you to be able to add some tools to your own toolbox that you can then take into the day to day experiences that you’re having with your daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:06]:
Today we got another great guest. Rob Findlay is with us today. And Rob’s not only a best selling author and accomplished entrepreneur, but also a dad of four. And as a part of those four, he has three daughters. His personal stories of late night calls for help paired with his professional expertise make him unique, uniquely qualified to speak to parents about raising capable, confident young adults. Plus, his engaging, no nonsense delivery resonates with anyone who ever who has ever googled how to reset a circuit breaker at 2:00am I love that. And we’re going to be talking about a brand new book that he has called hey, dad, everything you should have learned about life but didn’t. And it is definitely a humorous and practical guide to the real world lessons that every young adult needs to know, but that are not always taught.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:56]:
So we’re going to be talking about his book as well as, first and foremost, learning more about him as a dad. But, Rob, thank you so much for being here today.

Rob Finlay [00:03:04]:
Oh, thank you so much for having me on the show. I’ll tell you, I Wish you existed 20 plus years ago when I had daughters, because I’ll tell you, I grew up in a family with a brother, dad and mom, but. But maybe a little bit more traditional where it was very much a man’s household. And in fact, I go so far as my mom wouldn’t even put pantyhose that she would buy from the grocery store in the same bag. My brother and I could see it. So I grew up without any real understanding of what it was like to have a sister or anything until Lord blessed me one day with three beautiful daughters and I had no idea what I was doing. So I wish you were there years ago for me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:45]:
Well, you can still learn and you never stop being a father to a daughter. So there’s always going to be more things to learn along the way. So that being said, I want to learn a little bit more about you as a dad, seeing that you come from that background. I guess as you think back to your daughters and raising your daughters, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve shared with your daughters and what made it so special?

Rob Finlay [00:04:07]:
I think one of the things is I was never afraid to show emotions in front of my daughters. I think that was a very different departure from maybe where I was, but they would know. And now it’s almost the joke of they see a movie with a dog dying or something sad in the movie that dad will cry. And I think it was important for them to see that emotion. At the same point, I also wanted them to see what I wanted to portray as a male to them, which is I’m polite, I’m respectful, I have manners, I have etiquette. Right? These are the things that were important. So I wanted to be a gentleman and maybe a little bit on the macho side, but also showing that I had enough sensitivity and tenderness that I could support them at either direction.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:49]:
As you just said that. I mean, you said you weren’t afraid to show that vulnerability, but at the same time, you also had that macho side as well. And so there’s A balance between both sides of that personality. And as you’re raising daughters, you’re trying to balance, also guiding them to give them the independence to grow into their own person. And so how did you do that?

Rob Finlay [00:05:15]:
I think it was about pushing them. I actually believe that I wanted to see them fail. I wanted to see. And I know that’s very hard. I mean, parents can’t. And probably back at the time, I probably didn’t. But in hindsight, I was much more open to them exploring their own paths and pushing them, but not being overbearing. I wanted them to have interest and do things on their own, keep them focused.

Rob Finlay [00:05:37]:
If they made a commitment to do cello, well, you’re going to take Chiello. You’re not going to try it for two days and then quit. You’re going to do it and you’re going to try it. But if you don’t like it after that, or if you. If you’re really horrible at it, doesn’t really matter, but at least you’ve tried it. And so those were some of the things that I did. One of the important things that I feel that for young adults and for young kids is to have a broader experience with other adults and other people outside their friend groups. And this was critical for me, that I wanted to make sure that my girls and my son, too, were comfortable networking, having adult conversations, and being exposed to things other than just mom and dad in their friend group.

Rob Finlay [00:06:19]:
And so since they were young, you had them in farming groups. I would have them come to business meals with me just so they could see what it was like to be exposed to something other than just the sort of the family unit.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:33]:
As I said at the very beginning, going through this process of raising daughters is a learning process for all of us as fathers. And there are specific things that we all can do to be able to strengthen that bond with our daughters. For you, with three daughters, what are some intentional ways that you have done, have worked in the past or are currently working to strengthen your bonds with your daughters, and especially during challenging times?

Rob Finlay [00:07:00]:
I think, first of all, the young women that I see today, the young women that are my. My daughters, those are my daughters, we said, like, when they’re in their 20s, are very different than the young women that I knew 25 years ago when I was a young man. And the young ladies today that I’ve created and I’ve seen are much more independent. And therefore, the needs that they have tend to be more of financial understanding and business understanding and things like that. And my Daughters typically will come to me with questions that are much more about their financial independence than it is about navigating their own personal life or personal relationships. There I think there was a stage not, you know, all fathers, I think, go through this where your daughter is the apple in your eye and she’s there and she’s with you all the time and she’ll tell you everything. Then she goes to this different stage where maybe she’s not as comfortable talking to you about boyfriends and things that they’re doing. But then it comes back around where now these boyfriends are becoming, okay, this is not just a boyfriend, this is actually a serious relationship and we want to move in together.

Rob Finlay [00:08:06]:
So we start having those dialogues of that where it’s a very different situation. It’s not dad being emotional saying, okay, I’m bringing a boy to the house for the first time, it’s dad, this could be my life partner for life. And what are the things that I have to think about from a practical or even a, I don’t want to say business, but a financial standpoint. And that’s where these conversations have started. And these are very difficult conversations because at 20 some odd years old, these are adult conversations. When you’re talking about, one of my daughters has a very good job, her boyfriend does not, they’re sharing expenses, they’re living together. So now it becomes a different thing of, okay, well how do you protect these things that are yours and yet still have these relationships? And it’s almost equivalent to what a prenup agreement is to an adult. You’re now having these conversations with people who are in their early stage of adulting, just launching.

Rob Finlay [00:08:56]:
And they have so much to do anyways with just launching. They’re on this what I call magic carpet ride of life where from the day they’re born, basically until they have this big life moment which is graduation, and get thrown into the real world, everything is coming at them all at once. And now you have to compound it with some pretty difficult grown up conversations.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:16]:
So talk to me about that because you are having those conversations. And as I’m listening to that, I know I have a daughter in college right now, she’s not at that point yet. How do you approach that without stepping over the line and stepping into a lane that, that they don’t want you in? In that regard, I think at this.

Rob Finlay [00:09:36]:
Point is this is where you let your child fail to a level where it’s acceptable. But there are times where father knows best, even though they don’t like it and sometimes. But I’ve been around the block. I’ve experienced this myself. And so coming to them with this conversation, I think it’s more of the approach where I want them to come to their own conclusions, but the questions that I lead will prompt them. It’s not that I’m trying to show influence over my daughter, but rather use my influence to let them come and make the right decisions themselves. And they are hard. The first move in boyfriend is.

Rob Finlay [00:10:12]:
Is the big one, and we live together, and it’s gonna be wonderful. Oh, okay. But let me ask you, what would happen if, first things first, you get a pet together? Who gets the pet if something happens? Just think about. You make your own decisions. I think I’m very quick to do that with my girls. I want them to make the decisions, but let them know the consequences, the things that they don’t think about. Because you’re like, you’re at a. At an all you can eat buffet.

Rob Finlay [00:10:35]:
You want to eat as much as you possib you can without the consequences of, oh, geez, I just ate way too much later that night. And so it is about having the mind. And I think the important part of all of this is the demeanor that I have to provide to my daughters is one of very calm. And my wife is usually very good to maybe give me a little pinch. Right. If we’re on the call and I might get a little excited, they can hear it in my voice. I have to detune it a little bit because I think. And at least with my own experience, and it’s also a little skewed for me, because my day job is my business, just like yours.

Rob Finlay [00:11:08]:
You’re at the university. My day job is at a business, and I hire a lot of young analysts right out of college. And predominantly, they are young men. And so my management style with them is different. And just like with my son, my conversation, my tone with my son is very different. With my daughters, including each individual daughter, there’s a different approach to talk to each one. And so it just comes back to the demeanor has to be set, and the conversation, the tone has to be set commensurate with the child.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:38]:
You know, I know that there have been plenty of times that I’ve made mistakes, and none of us are infallible. What’s a mistake that you’ve made as a father, and what did you learn about it in regards to fostering a positive connection with your daughters?

Rob Finlay [00:11:50]:
Well, I’ll tell you, there’s a lot of things. I mean, the whole Purpose of the book that I wrote was because of a late night phone call just on a certain instance. And I realized, have I taught my kids everything that they should know to go be an adult? And not that you have to know everything because you learn as an adult, you learn every day. But, but have I given them the foundation? Go out, get out on their own, get a job, get an apartment, make friends, become a good healthy adult. All of these things have I built them the foundation? And then it starts to do the. Where it spirals as a father, like, well, geez, you know what? I spent all my younger years when they were around trying to build a business thinking that it was important for me to provide for them. And maybe the providing that I should have given was maybe more emotional and less financial. So it starts to come around as what did I do wrong as a father? Now, fortunately I have a good relationship with all of my kids and but this book has really sort of opened up my eyes where I look back at all these things that I don’t know that I taught them.

Rob Finlay [00:12:49]:
Was it because I wasn’t there? Was I an absent father? Or was it maybe in many cases I told them and they didn’t listen, or was it because I wanted to take care of them? And I’m very guilty of that with my girls. My girls, if they know if there was a light that went on in their car, all they had to do is go up and say, hey dad, Daddy, there’s a light on in my car. And I would go run fix it it, I wouldn’t make them do it. Now in hindsight would have been better for me to push them back to solve their own problems.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:17]:
So let’s talk about your book. And as I mentioned, you do have this brand new book called hey dad, everything you should have learned about life but didn’t. And one of the things that I noticed when looking at the book, you talk about that green handle moment in your book and it’s a powerful moment. So it was that call that you got. And so tell me more about that call. But what did that call from your daughter teach you about the importance of dad and daughter communications in the transition to adulthood?

Rob Finlay [00:13:46]:
So the call to put give your listeners sort of the perspective, it’s the middle of the night, probably one or two o’clock in the morning, which for me that’s, that’s bedtime. I’m already asleep for hours here. And every parent fears this call in the middle of the night. And I got it and I look over and it’s one of my daughters calling. And I knew she was on a road trip. She was traveling from Wisconsin to go down to Austin, Texas. They were looking for a job. She was a college senior at the time.

Rob Finlay [00:14:12]:
And I’m panicked because my kids know that a call this late doesn’t. That has to be an emergency. She picked up, and I was like, what’s wrong? Because that’s my first instinct. What is wrong? Can I put the green gas in my Jeep? Nope. Hey, dad. Sorry to bother you. No, nothing. It’s just a very quick.

Rob Finlay [00:14:27]:
Can I put the green gas in my Jeep? And my heart rate has to come down, comes down. I’m starting to pain. I’m like, starting to think, okay, I’m woken up. Like, I finally realized, are you talking about diesel? Are you thinking about putting diesel in your Jeep? And she was almost hostile with me. Like, how dare I even. Yes, can I do it? Like, she was frustrated with me asking questions. And at that point I realized, like, you know, obviously, maybe I didn’t teach her this. This is shame on me.

Rob Finlay [00:14:52]:
But also at the same point, I felt like, was it because it was easier to call me than to go and look at it on her own? Right. Could she have done research? Could she have gone on Google? Right. I mean, we’re in the Internet society. There’s. There’s ways to get answers. And so I think it was more about that she wanted to reach out to me, to look for advice, to maybe in a reassuring moment, because there were some factors there that were going on, such as there was not to spoil this section of the book. It was. We had a fuel crisis on the east coast at that time, and none of the gas stations had gas.

Rob Finlay [00:15:25]:
And, you know, even while dad said, it’s probably not a great time to do a trip, how can I stop her from going? But it was more of like, is she just trying to get some reassurance? And I think that comes down to one of the things that I feel, and this is that moment, is I think my kids and my girls in particular know what to do. But sometimes it’s nice to have a little bit of reassurance. It’s reassurance from dad that, yeah, I am doing the right thing. Yes, I’m going to be okay, or maybe I’m not doing the right thing and maybe I should do this or think differently about it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:54]:
So that kind of leads into another part in your book where you talk about letting your kids call you or as a father, into the playing field. Only when they’re ready. So how has that approach shaped your relationship with your daughters over time?

Rob Finlay [00:16:10]:
Look, I’m a businessman. I have no medical credentials, no nothing. It’s me as a dad trying to do the best I can. I think I probably pushed my kids out into situations probably faster than I should have. Now, it’s also siblings, right? So, I mean, the easiest way to go get a sibling to swim is to watch their other siblings swim. Of course, they want to do that naturally. And so while it’s probably more sheltering and sheltered with my son and then my next daughter, and then by the time the fourth one comes around, you’re a little bit more like, go ahead, go do these things. Go take responsibilities, having jobs, having chores, the girls grew up on a farm, about opening up and seeing things that are really, you’re not going to see on TV and you’re not going to see on social media.

Rob Finlay [00:16:54]:
And I think that was a big thing. And I think when I was writing this book, one of the things that I really wanted to do was go out and seek experts in the field of everything from finding an apartment to maintaining a car to what to do in emergencies, banking, insurance, taxes, all the things that I think are of core foundational purpose for young adults to become adults. And I think what I really did with this was I tried to mirror it, it to what my girls were learning and what I want them to learn going forward.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:26]:
Is there a story that you can share where that strategy for you either built more trust or even backfired?

Rob Finlay [00:17:33]:
The first thing I’ve learned, and I’m sure a lot of fathers know this, especially if their daughters are in. In dating age, if you say you don’t like the boy, he’s staying. I’ve learned very quickly that there are things that I do now that have backfired. When I try to say, you know what? A young man who’s coming to date, you should have a firm handshake. He should look at me in the eye. He should be polite. He should be polite to you. He should give attention to you, right? He should.

Rob Finlay [00:17:55]:
And when I realized that there’s a different way, once again, it comes back to the conversation. Letting them know, if I don’t like this guy, he doesn’t shake my hand, right? All that’s going to do is say, oh, that’s going to be my new boyfriend. But if I talk about how I’ve noticed these young men at my office, how great they are by being polite, or how important it is, and even this comes down to how I am as a father in particular. This is just a purely on relationship side, but my wife requires us to do once a week, date night, to spend time together. Not on our phone, not with everything. And I think the kids and, and my girls see that. It’s like it’s important that somebody give you attention, focus on you and make you feel special, because that is what you are to me. But dad’s blue in the face until I tell you how special you are.

Rob Finlay [00:18:41]:
I hear you, dad. I hear you. I hear you. But somebody else has to do that. And making them expect that is part of that learning of being an adult is getting the respect of yourself first.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:52]:
A lot of times in my experience as a father, I have noticed that a lot of the life lessons that you see out in memes, in writing, a lot of that is focused on sons. Especially when you look at things like self reliance or money management or dealing with failure, There’s a lot of that out in the world. How did writing this book change or reinforce the kind of life lessons you think daughters specifically need from their dads today?

Rob Finlay [00:19:22]:
Personally, I don’t differentiate the two. I think there’s a couple things. One is I think the skills that I’m trying to talk about, the foundational skills that I talk about in my book are truly just what every adult. It doesn’t matter what you are, every adult needs to know how to do these basic things. This isn’t like one plus one. This is actually just more foundational. Right? It’s not about. About how to tie a tie, but rather when you should wear a tie or obviously daughter something different.

Rob Finlay [00:19:47]:
But to me, when I wrote the book, I wanted everybody to have these foundations because I think no matter what it is, if even it’s about life, it’s all the same. I can tell you though, what I have learned in all of this is that doing the research and talking to other parents, and talking to other parents in particular, it seems like the young ladies are actually more confident and are doing better and are at a very, very different path than young men. And I know that it’s not as popular of a conversation because I personally think everybody should be lifted. You should never have one group of people below the other. Everybody should be lifted. Everybody should. Being successful and having a good life. So after I wrote this book and talked to my girls and my son about it, it really became more of I think I’ve done okay, but not by me.

Rob Finlay [00:20:31]:
It’s probably because they’re smart, they’re independent, and they Take it upon themselves. And yes, they’ll ask crazy questions, questions, but it’s also a matter of time. Young adults today have not just their parents talking to them or their relationship with their dad, but they also have their relationship with social media. And so the influence that social media has, especially on some of these life lessons, is huge. A lot bigger than when I was growing up. As what mom and dad said, that was pretty much it. And yeah, my buddies, they’d be influences, but I don’t have a screen showing me what I should be making for a job. I don’t have a screen showing me how, at any moment, being compared to something.

Rob Finlay [00:21:05]:
And so I really do believe that it comes down to as parents. And the best thing that we can do with our sons and daughters is to encourage them to have confidence in themselves, give them the tools to be confident adults, because it comes quick and it comes pretty fast. And I know our first instinct is to protect them from it and keep them all. Let them save more money, let them stay at home, let them stay under the nest. I don’t know if that’s necessarily the best thing for young adults to get out into this world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:31]:
Your book has a lot of humor in it. And what role do you think humor plays in building deeper connections between fathers and daughters, especially when navigating those adulting fails?

Rob Finlay [00:21:43]:
Look, life is too stressful as it is. We have to, at some point, lighten up and make sure that we focus on what is really important. I look back in the fall we have when. When college acceptance come around, and the stress of these young adults and their parents is criminal. It’s absolutely criminal. The pressure that we put on for something. And this goes back to when I noticed the same thing. My first chapter on the book is probably one of the most profound and probably one of the hardest ones for me to.

Rob Finlay [00:22:10]:
To write because it was about emotion. It was like all of a sudden you’re on this, what I call that magic carpet ride, and it stops. And you as a young adult, are now faced with where to live, what to do for a job, all these other factors, and it might be too much for you, and it becomes overwhelming. And one of my daughters just recently went through this where she didn’t know where she was going to live. She didn’t know what she was going to do for a job. Her career path through college had changed because the market had changed. And this poor thing, the stress consumed her. And at some point I just had to laugh and just say, listen, this just life, it’s Important, but relax.

Rob Finlay [00:22:44]:
And so one of the first things I do when I talk to young adults, just take a deep breath. The decision you make today on your first job or where you’re going to live is not going to be your last decision. You are going to make these decisions. So having humor and putting that in sort of lightens the load a little bit. It’s also sort of my style, too. I don’t want to stress them out even more. Oh, my gosh, yes, you need to have the right job. Because if you don’t have the right job first, well, you’ll never get your second job.

Rob Finlay [00:23:08]:
The second job won’t be great. I don’t think that is beneficial. Letting him relax, going into a situation. It was actually probably the Navy SEAL who I interviewed in the book was probably on emergencies, probably tied it all back to me, which was he’s like, look, when people get anxious, they make mistakes. And so relax. Understand the situation. If you can relax, then you can find your way out of it. So in that same tune.

Rob Finlay [00:23:31]:
So it’s sort of fitting that that last part of the book is what to do in Emergencies, written by a Navy SEAL and an emergency parameter medic. What ties back into the first part, which is my people that I interviewed were clinical psychologists and psychiatrists and how to tie it back, which is just relax. You can make good decisions if you relax and think clearly.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:50]:
Now, your book also emphasizes getting a plan and visualizing a life. How can dads help daughters develop a life direction without overwhelming them with their own expectations?

Rob Finlay [00:24:02]:
For me, one of the stories I put in there is actually one of my daughters loves hiking. Hiking loves being in the outdoors. And we sort of talk about that hiking path, right? And so I asked her, I’m like, well, what do you like in hiking? Like, how do you pick what you want to go? And she would say, well, if I want to hike on the beach, I go pick a hike towards the beach. If I want to hike in the mountains, I want to go pick a hike in the mountains. And we use that as an analogy to sort of talk about life. Well, where do you want to go? Do you want to be in science or what? So trying to take their interests and tie it back into a story, more of a narrative, into helping them. Them pick what they want. And if you can equate it back to things that are simple like a hike, she’s like, oh, wait, hike.

Rob Finlay [00:24:43]:
Yeah, I really like science. And you know what the best part about a hike is? If you don’t like it, you can turn left, right, or go back. You can do different things. And so using those kind of stories and those kind of tools will help them write the narrative of their own. I also believe in a lot in visualization. Describe to me. I love movies, I love television shows. And so I’m always like, let’s create a scene for me.

Rob Finlay [00:25:06]:
Where do you work? Give me a picture of that. Talk to me. Are you driving into the office or are you walking knowing would you live in a city or would you be in the suburbs? And letting them build their own story in their brain. And that helps them get the sort of the, the, the destination and the direction started. It’s not going to be everything, but it’s going to give them the start.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:26]:
Now, if people want to find out more about the book, about you, where should they go?

Rob Finlay [00:25:30]:
So they can go to heydadbook.com which is all about the book. If they want to learn more about me and the, the other stuff I’ve done, they can go to rob finlay.com that’s f I n l a y.com also on all the social media stuff. So I try to show things from work, things from the book, things from the farm, try to make it as interesting as I can.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:53]:
Now I always finish our interviews with what I call our dad Connection 6, which asks you six more questions to delve a little bit more into you and your relationship with your daughters. Are you ready?

Rob Finlay [00:26:04]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:05]:
What’s one word that describes your relationships with your daughters?

Rob Finlay [00:26:08]:
Strong.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:09]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice you’ve ever received?

Rob Finlay [00:26:13]:
Don’t give up.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:14]:
What’s one activity that you and your daughters love doing together?

Rob Finlay [00:26:18]:
Eating. They’re going to hate me, by the way, when they get this. They’re going to, they’re going to like, follow me. I’m going to hear all about this.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:23]:
If you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Rob Finlay [00:26:28]:
Be happy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:29]:
What’s one thing that you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Rob Finlay [00:26:34]:
That I actually have it in.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:36]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Rob Finlay [00:26:43]:
Be open and honest and communicate well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:46]:
Rob, I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your own journey with your daughters. Thank you for putting this book out into the world. I’ll definitely put links in the notes today for everyone to be able to find you and find the book. But I truly appreciate all that you’re doing to be able to help fathers to connect with their kids in different ways, help young adults to make that transition into adulthood and more. And I wish you all the best.

Rob Finlay [00:27:15]:
Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun. Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:17]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Performer [00:27:48]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can be.

Slices of Connection: How a Pizza Business Built an Unbreakable Father-Daughter Bond

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What does it mean to truly connect with your daughter? In this heartfelt episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Joe Carlucci and his daughter, Valentina, to explore the depth of father-daughter relationships, the power of perseverance, and the joys (and trials) of building a business—and a life—side by side.

The Carlucci story is more than just a tale of pizza and world records; it’s a masterclass in showing up, learning together, and making family the center of everything you do. Joe, the owner of Valentina’s Pizzeria in Huntsville, Alabama, shares how having his daughter involved in the restaurant has changed everything about how he leads, listens, and loves.

“I want her to have a life, to experience everything,” Joe shares, emphasizing that legacy isn’t about business success but about the kind of father he is. Valentina, already a Guinness World Record holder for pizza tossing at just 12, brings her own flair and opinions to the family business, reminding listeners that kids don’t just follow in parents’ footsteps—they blaze their own trails.

Parenting, of course, isn’t without challenges. Joe’s candid stories of failure, resilience, and growth highlight the value of letting your kids see you struggle and rise again. The episode dives deep into co-parenting, stepfamily dynamics, and the importance of putting pride aside so kids can feel fully supported, no matter what.

What makes this episode truly special is the genuine banter and obvious affection between Joe and Valentina. Their shared laughter, friendly teasing, and mutual admiration are a testament to what’s possible when dads choose presence over perfection.

If you’re a dad looking to build a stronger relationship with your daughter—or anyone inspired by stories of resilience, family, and food—this episode is an absolute must-listen. You’ll walk away with practical advice, heartfelt wisdom (“If you fall down ten times, get up eleven”), and maybe even a craving for a slice of the world’s best pizza.

Ready to be inspired? Tune in to this episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection and discover how showing up, listening deeply, and making your child your priority can change everything—for both of you. Find all episodes and more at dadanddaughterconnection.com.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and the dad and daughter connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started. Because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to meet and work together, to be able to build those bonds that we want to have with our daughters, one day at a time. And I love that you come back every week to be able for us to be able to work together and to be able to find new ways to be able to engage with our daughters and find ways to be able to build those stronger bonds. So I thank you for coming back every week.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:20]:
That’s why this podcast exists. It exists to help you and to be able to give you some tools for your toolbox that you can walk away from every episode with some different things to think about in regards to the relationship that you have with your daughter and that relationship that you want to have with your daughter. Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests with different experiences that are having these great relationships together, but also that you can grow from the relationships that you are hearing from them. Sometimes we have dads on, sometimes we have daughters on, Sometimes we have dads and daughters on. And today, we have just that. I’m really excited to be able to have Joe, Carlucci and his daughter, Valentina, on. And we’re gonna be talking to them about the journey that they’ve been on in regards to some food, some world records, and a little bit more to be able to talk about the bond that they have in correlation to all of this. And I am really just really excited to have them here today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:19]:
Joe, Valentina, thanks so much for being here today.

Valentina Carlucci [00:02:21]:
Thank you.

Joe Carlucci [00:02:22]:
Thank you very much. It’s an honor. We appreciate the opportunity.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:25]:
Well, I am really excited to be able to have you here. We’ve been trying to make this work for a while, so I’m I’m really excited that we were able to find a time to be able to do this. I guess first and foremost, what I would love to do is talk to me about your relationship and what makes your bond so special.

Joe Carlucci [00:02:42]:
Because she’s my air, my breath, my world. Like, she’s my everything. She’s a smart ass, but she’s amazing and, she’s my heartbeat. She’s the reason, I get up to be a better person, father, boss, son, and friend every day, every week, every month, every minute, every second of my life.

Joe Carlucci [00:02:58]:
And, Valentina, what’s the best part? I know that you work alongside your dad at the restaurant. And I guess as you think about that and the and the opportunity that you have to work with your dad, what’s the best part about working alongside your dad in the pizza business?

Valentina Carlucci [00:03:13]:
Getting to correct Tim because he makes a lot of mistakes, and I have to end up being the boss and taking care of everyone because he doesn’t always know what to do when he’s working. He can be a little. So

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:27]:
So for you that are listening, Valentina just kind of twirled her finger around her around her ear saying that he’s a little crazy. So I don’t know, Joe. I mean, you said she’s opinionated, but she definitely has her opinions here. And where does she get that from? Definitely not you. Right?

Joe Carlucci [00:03:45]:
No. I’m not very opinionated. I keep my comments to myself. I’m very low key. I’m low spoken. I don’t ever put gas on the fire. I usually put water. She likes to, which is okay sometimes, make make dinner for the staff, make desserts, give everybody a break, give them raises.

Joe Carlucci [00:04:01]:
She’s, all for the inmates and and not for the 40 sometimes. But when she has to throw the hammer down, she’ll throw it down to anybody. So I give her that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:11]:
I guess, Joe, seeing it, like you said, that, you know, Valentina is your heir. You said that, you know, she is following in your footsteps here. When did you first notice that Valentina shared your passion for pizza?

Joe Carlucci [00:04:22]:
Man, she’s been every step of the way at every restaurant I’ve had, food truck. I mean, since she was in diapers and strollers, she’s always been inside the pizzeria restaurant business. When she got old enough to stand up, to wash dishes, to wipe tables down and sweep, like, I never thought anything of it. And when I launched Valentina’s four and a half years ago, I had called her mother and said, hey. I’m gonna open a pizzeria again, and, I wanna name it after Valentina. She’s like, let me ask her because, you know, she’s kind of quiet sometimes. And I’m like, yeah. I don’t know how she feel.

Joe Carlucci [00:04:51]:
And she asked her, and she was like, absolutely. One thing only is no pineapple on pizza. And we end up having And we end up putting pineapple on pizza. And then when she came to work a lot more with me, she asked me about my records and did she get one? And I just thought it was a kid wanting to do what her dad does or not every day. And then as she got older, I mean, she’s 12. She’s got a long way to go, and then she it’s in her blood, and she loves it. And I told her it’s not the easiest, but today’s age, we have changed the way we do things in the industry. You know, we’re only open twenty seven hours. I like to say we like the Chick fil A pizza. We’re closed Sunday and Mondays.

Joe Carlucci [00:05:26]:
We don’t open for lunch. We only open for dinner. It is where the area we are, but, I want her to have a life too, and I don’t want the the life to be inside this restaurant. I don’t she gotta put the time in, but at the same time, I want her to experience other things as well. And she’s right now adamant about taking it over.

Joe Carlucci [00:05:42]:
So I guess for those that are listening that don’t know you, Joe, and don’t know your your your background and don’t know the restaurant, give me a little bit of the history which led you to some world records so that someone that doesn’t know you gets a better feel for not only what led you to starting Valentina’s, but what led you to moving from New York to Alabama?

Joe Carlucci [00:06:05]:
Sure. I’m a consultant. I used to be a consultant. Excuse me. And I came down to Alabama fifteen years to go to open a pizzeria, and I just fell in love with Huntsville, Alabama, where we are now at Valentina’s. And I decided to come down and help the gentleman and move the consultant down here. The consulting thing was kinda hard in the South, and I ended up working for him. Along the way, I’ve had a couple restaurants and I failed at them, and they she was my passion to keep driving.

Joe Carlucci [00:06:29]:
And when you get knocked down, you gotta get up 10 times harder and faster, and no one’s gonna worry about you or cry about you, and you have to take care of yourself. And I taught her that. Like, one thing I could teach is you never give up. I did not, by the wildest dreams, think this restaurant, Valentina’s Pizzeria, would ever blow up to what it is. We went from having 10 employees to having 47 employees. We have a full time life coach, a GM that, has a law background that runs the whole entire restaurant. She loves her. I have a manager that’s, been with me ten years, and we’re growing every day.

Joe Carlucci [00:07:01]:
We just bought a food truck again to go do double dip, and I love the area of Huntsville, Alabama. I mean, people think Alabama. I think my cousin Vinny, and I probably look like my cousin Vinny. But it’s just been a great experience. We went from a 1,500 square foot to buying our own land and having a 5,000 square foot with 190 seats. I was actually kidding around with her the other day and I said, you know, someone offered me millions of dollars to sell. She’s like, you can’t sell. To my restaurant.

Joe Carlucci [00:07:25]:
I said, what about 10,000,000? I said, no. 20. She said, no. We’re not selling. I said, what do you mean we can’t sell? She goes, the restaurant’s for me. I said, yeah. But that’s a lot of money. We can go to Disney.

Joe Carlucci [00:07:35]:
We can have some I’m a system. The reason why we have this restaurant and all this money is because of me, because we wouldn’t have this amazing place without me. So you have to put that factor into. You can go on that.

Joe Carlucci [00:07:50]:
So I need them. I said, well, I was just kidding, but she goes, good. You can get all you want, but it’s mine. So it is everything that we’re doing is for her to build the brand, and she’s gonna have to, put the hair back, put the apron on, and firstly in those pizzas.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:03]:
Now, Joe, you mentioned that you strive to be a strong role model for Valentina. What are the most important qualities that you try to demonstrate for her?

Joe Carlucci [00:08:11]:
Have a backbone, have a voice, have empathy for people, care, but believe in yourself and love yourself more than anybody loves you. And don’t listen to the critics or the keyboard warriors or the haters. Like you can do anything you put your mind to. Listen. I’m probably the dumbest guy you ever speak to on your podcast. I can’t screw a light bulb in. Okay? And I put my head down and described. Hard work beats talent every day and twice on Sundays.

Joe Carlucci [00:08:35]:
And you can outwork anybody any day, any week, any month. And that’s the hardest lesson to teach her because sometimes she can be a little lazy, but I still love her. Yeah. You know? But it’s the youth, but we’re getting we’re getting it out of you. We’re we’re kicking it out of you. But I would, like, teach her that. Never give up on yourself and believe in others. Don’t give up on others either.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:52]:
Now, Valentina, based on what your dad just said and what he’s taught you, what have you learned from your dad about hard work and dedication?

Valentina Carlucci [00:09:00]:
Well, so for one, if you do a job, do it correctly and try to do it good. It’s okay to make a mistake, but don’t make the same mistake a million times. And then, of course, like, if you fall down 10 times, get up 11 times. So, like, overall, like, never give up and always try your hardest no matter what the job is.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:24]:
I love that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:24]:
Now, Joe, parenting comes with challenges. It’s not always easy. And I know that in the past you’ve spoken about letting your kids see you fail and grow. And you just mentioned that you have failed and you’ve had to pull yourself up and keep going. Can you share a moment where you learned an important lesson in front of Valentina that she had that you wanted her to learn even though it may have been hard for you?

Valentina Carlucci [00:09:46]:
At one time, the quarantine family.

Joe Carlucci [00:09:50]:
Chris, when we had the food truck during COVID, we’d go out in the beginning because it was a lockdown and sell, like, 200 pizzas. And as time got on and they lifted the the lockdown, she’d come out with me in a 20 degree weather. She’d be sweating on the food truck. She was, like, 78 years old. We sell four pizzas, literally. I had to throw all the dough away, all the ingredients. It was, like, week after week until I finally decided that the money I’d save from COVID during with the food truck is to make the transition to a brick and mortar again. But got life lesson just, why are we doing this? Can we go home? Like, no.

Joe Carlucci [00:10:23]:
We’re gonna stick it out, and we’d sell pizzas in five hours. It was just teaching her how to not give up. I did this political box over the course of last four months with the president on there, and we got a lot of backlash from it. And I’m not very political. I’m just controversial. I don’t know a lot of it. I’m saying it’s not controversial in my mouth. You can ask anybody my rep, but I’ve never brought up politics once before this election.

Joe Carlucci [00:10:45]:
Never. Oh, never. I don’t talk about it, but college football, as you know, where you are too is king, and I just had to think of a marketing scheme. Well, long story short, it has developed into an animal of its own. And it took on a whole new world here for the last two months. It’s been insane. And we had a customer or a stalker not even a stalker, keyboard warrior come in on last Saturday who was already trashing us. And it was a little incident, and I had to be a little bit more professional around her and just put the water on the fire that time with her and her younger sister, who’s always over at my house, her stepsister.

Joe Carlucci [00:11:21]:
Didn’t teach her, like, sometimes you have to control yourself because I had my staff. I had people there, and I had my daughter there. And I don’t wanna, like, do what my what I really wanna do, but, you know, it’s not professional and it’s not teaching her anything. So I had to handle that situation a little different. Not saying I wouldn’t if she wasn’t there, but it would’ve been a lot easier to not handle the right way. But when my dog when you turn around and your daughter’s looking at you, it’s the older man that you don’t wanna be fighting or screaming at people. So sometimes, like I told her, dads are not perfect. I never had a 12 year old.

Joe Carlucci [00:11:50]:
I’ve never had a 13 year old. So guess what? I’m gonna mess up because I’ve never had a kid before. So I’m learning as she’s learning. So I just let her know that I’m not perfect in any way, shape, or form and that no matter what, I’m always gonna love her even if she’s burns pizza sometime.

Valentina Carlucci [00:12:05]:
So I correct you when you burn pizzas, but I don’t burn pizzas, and that’s why my pizzas are better.

Joe Carlucci [00:12:11]:
Well, maybe we’ll ship them one if you tell us.

Valentina Carlucci [00:12:13]:
Yeah. Well, no. It’ll be bad. So we we freeze it. We can? Yeah. Okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:19]:
That would be great. So, Valentina, you just heard your dad talk about some challenges that he’s had and some struggles that he’s gone through. And I guess as you think about that and you’ve seen your dad struggle with different things, how did that affect you and affect the way that you think about making mistakes?

Valentina Carlucci [00:12:39]:
It made me wanna try harder. It made me wanna do the business more. It made me wanna make my dad proud. And it also, like, taught me some lessons on, like, whenever anyone comes into your electronic complaining, he didn’t escalate it at all. But whatever you do, do not escalate it and make it worse because that’s the one bad thing you could do. And then you could be in the wrong if, like, you do anything to them because the customer is always right.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:10]:
And Valentina did put up her quotes because, you know

Joe Carlucci [00:13:13]:
Yeah.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:14]:
I get it. Now, Joe, I know that you mentioned the fact that Valentina’s got step siblings, and you’ve talked in the past, I know about co parenting and co parenting can bring its own challenges. So you’ve talked about that in the past with step kids and half siblings. What has helped you to maintain a strong unified family dynamic?

Joe Carlucci [00:13:35]:
Well, my pride, it’s hard enough to be a kid in 02/2025. Her mother and I didn’t have the best, and we didn’t have the worst relationship. We didn’t do anything to hurt each other. We just weren’t the right fit. So why make your kids suffer for twenty, thirty years because you made a decision in thirty seconds when you went to bed. Right? So it wasn’t always like this. I I had a a lot of, looking in the mirror like, who’s the problem? Is the world the problem, or is Joe the problem? And I decided that I was the problem. And her stepdad is she’s so lucky to have a dad like that.

Joe Carlucci [00:14:08]:
I mean, I think he’s one of the most amazing people. She has one of the best mothers that god has ever created in a very weird, people say, relationship. Her past sister is over my house. It’s always my always my my Christmas. My my girlfriend gets her gifts, sends the gifts. She’s over my house three weeks, four weeks out of summer. She sleeps over during the week. I mean, she’s like my second kid, and we we’re actually all a family, and it and it works.

Joe Carlucci [00:14:31]:
I think it’s sometimes under those situations, not every situation is like mine. You have to look in the mirror. And I just made a pact that I know it’s gonna be a tough life for any kid growing up, and I’m not gonna make my daughter’s life harder. And we’re we’re all friends. Like, her stepdad does pest control. He does my house. He does my restaurant. I have a problem.

Joe Carlucci [00:14:48]:
He comes here. Her mom and I co parent very, very well together, respect each other. My girlfriend knows my situation, and she’s open to it. And she loves Cadence just like she loves Valentina. So it worked. Everybody at the restaurant, my GM, my managers, like, they take Valentina. They sleep over her house. She sleeps over there.

Joe Carlucci [00:15:08]:
I mean, it’s a big family. It’s one big family, and it all starts with knowing what to do, when to do it. And it’s not always about me. Like, if it’s better than my daughter’s life to co parent and put our differences aside from fifteen years ago, then let’s do it. I mean, if you saw her step sister here, do you think she’s my daughter? She just bring drags her stuff in. We had a pizza named after her on the menu. So it works. You just had to do a lot of soul searching.

Joe Carlucci [00:15:33]:
I think that’s the hardest thing for people today is, like, look in the mirror. I’m not talking about situations where someone’s died or cheated. My situation was nothing like that. We were just oil and water. She’s an engineer. I’m a pizza guy with ADHD, but we’re better off we are now because I told her she’s got two dads instead of one. Right? So it worked on both hands.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:50]:
And, Valentina, what’s one thing your dad does that makes your whole family feel connected and supported?

Valentina Carlucci [00:15:55]:
Well, he’s always open for Cadence to come over here. He treats her like how he treats me. He’s, like, best friends with my stepdad and my mom. He always invites him over to the restaurant. Whenever my mom drops Cadence off sometimes at the house, she’ll even stay for a little longer and just talk to my dad. So it’s not like how it would be for normal parents that are not together anymore. They’re fine in a room together. They could talk normally like friends.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:26]:
Joe, with the situation and the kind of the family dynamic that you have right now, what advice do you have for dads that are navigating co parenting challenges while keeping their child’s best interests at heart?

Joe Carlucci [00:16:37]:
Put your pride aside. Look through the lens as your child would. Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Even if you can’t get along, don’t you know what I’m saying? If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything. Not every situation is gonna be like mine. So the less said is the better. So it no matter what, that’s gonna be your mother and that’s you’re gonna be the father for the rest of her life. So you have to figure out some way to at least respect each other as a parent, everything else, you know, under your situations, but say less.

Joe Carlucci [00:17:02]:
I know because kids today don’t wanna go back and forth and hear about the kids fighting or the parents saying this. This parent said death and step you know what I mean? It it’s just hard enough for these kids. It’s hard enough. So if if you can’t get along, which is understandable in certain situations, don’t say anything. Just don’t comment on it, and then they don’t have to feel that they have to stick up for that, parent. They don’t have to defend that parent. It also makes you look worse, I think, as a parent because kids are not stupid. They’re smart.

Joe Carlucci [00:17:27]:
The older they get, they’ll see. They’ll feel it out, Whether their dad’s absent, their mom’s absent, or just whatever the situation is, they they’ll they’ll figure it out. You don’t have to lead them to order. They’re they’re smarter than us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:38]:
Now I know, Joe, you’ve had a number of businesses that you’ve started that may have been successful, may have failed. What’s the biggest lesson though that you’ve learned in business that has also helped you as a father?

Joe Carlucci [00:17:49]:
Open minded. Take advice from people that have been there. Maybe people that are in their seventies. You know, as a father that had multiple kids or been in my situation and in the industry, I have, been blessed and lucky and honored to be, taught under Tony Geminiani. He has over 200 locations in the number of pizza in The US, and he’s been, like, a mentor to me in every way. And looking up to other people that have kids or in my situation and that are good role models for their kids that I could take advice from moving forward.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:20]:
And Valentina, I know you help your dad at the restaurant and you work hard. What’s your ultimate dream in the pizza industry? I know you said you already cook and you’re you’re better than your dad. So how do you want to follow in your dad’s footsteps or go beyond your dad in this industry?

Valentina Carlucci [00:18:35]:
Well, I wanna be exactly like him or maybe even better when I grow up. I wanna have over a thousand stores.

Joe Carlucci [00:18:43]:
Okay.

Valentina Carlucci [00:18:43]:
No. I’m being for real. Like, I do wanna have over a thousand stores, and I want my pizza place to be number one in the whole world to where all these influencers are trying to come here saying how good our pizza is. And so, like, one day when my dad dies, I can just look up, no, I made him proud.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:00]:
Joe, talk to me about what is having Valentina involved in the restaurant done or changed in the way that you run your business?

Joe Carlucci [00:19:10]:
Oh, everything. Since she was born. My whole way I look at people and I treat people and I act when she’s not here because I I always think, like, it’s great you you do it when she’s not when when she’s here, but in anything you do when she’s not here. It’s just changed the way my perspective on life is on people and having empathy for my staff and caring for them and just I used to be a Gordon Ramsay of pizza that’s yelling, screaming, throwing things in. They say you get more flies with honey. So I’m still working on that, but, you know, I hired a full time life coach to help navigate where I wanna go and help people understand my vision. My standard is extremely high the way I carry the restaurant, and I expect everybody to meet that standard, always there, but I wanna be better than yesterday. I don’t care about today.

Joe Carlucci [00:19:56]:
I don’t care about tomorrow. So she has a big influence in that because if I could build the standard for Valentina’s and the standard I wanna be as a man, then she’ll know what kind of man she needs. And I don’t care if she she’ll always be open to telling me, hopefully, that she has a boyfriend because, like, since she was, like, six, I would open the door for her and tell her, if they don’t open the door, they don’t open the door, don’t get in. So now when we go home tonight or we go to Korean barbecue or for pizza, I’m I’m in the car, and she’s sitting outside standing outside. I’m like, what are you doing? She’s like, I’m not getting until you open this door. And I’m like, oh my god. This is a little too much. And I said, what are you gonna do if you’re on a date? She said, I’m gonna Uber.

Joe Carlucci [00:20:35]:
I’m gonna call you. I said, okay. Good. I’ve been, I’m literally at six in the morning. I’m gonna take her to the school. She’ll just stand outside. It’d be 30 degrees. She’s like, I’m not getting in.

Joe Carlucci [00:20:43]:
I’d get out of the car. I gotta go around. I gotta open the door. So she knows what she’s doing on that end.

Joe Carlucci [00:20:49]:
Now earlier, Valentina, I talked about the Guinness world record for pizza tossing. Congratulations.

Valentina Carlucci [00:20:55]:
Thank you.

Joe Carlucci [00:20:56]:
What was that experience like, and what did your dad teach you to help you get there?

Valentina Carlucci [00:21:01]:
Well, so how my dad taught me was when I was at his house, at the time, I was only there Sunday, Monday, and then I left Tuesday morning. So both days, we practiced for, like, four hours. And then he gave me, like, this rubber dough, and I bring it to my mom’s house with me and I practice every day. And so before I tried to get the, record, I, like, practiced a lot. And there was some tears because I, like, really wanted to win, and I did. But the process of it was really fun. My mom got to come, and we had this whole, like, little celebration.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:38]:
And, Joe, seeing Valentina break a world record at such a young age must have been an incredible moment. How did that feel as a father?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:45]:
It was one of the greatest moments of my life to see her do it. And, actually, she was the one with the idea. It wasn’t me throwing this on her. Like, I never want her to get in this industry. It’s a tough industry, but, like, she keeps pushing that idea away. So when she wanted to do this, she was eight or nine.

Valentina Carlucci [00:22:00]:
Four. No. You want four? When I wanna do

Joe Carlucci [00:22:03]:
No. When you did the Guinness record.

Joe Carlucci [00:22:05]:
Oh. She was eight or nine. She can’t count. She’s really bad at math.

Valentina Carlucci [00:22:07]:
No. I’m good at math.

Joe Carlucci [00:22:08]:
But just having her want to do it and then her actually accomplishing it, it was a goosebump feeling, kind of like one of those moments that were surreal.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:16]:
Now, Joe, earlier in the conversation, you talked about that you invested in a life coach to help you grow as both a father and a business owner. What’s been the biggest shift for you and your mindset since starting that journey?

Joe Carlucci [00:22:29]:
The biggest shift has to be my attitude because as hard as it is and it’s many layers I have on my back, whether it’s the loans, the mortgage, like, everything starts and ends with me. And even the box, I put a bull’s eye on my staff. Like, I knew that politics and religion, you don’t bring into the restaurant, and I did both. And I did both. And learning how to understand and deal with that, but also 47 people do not work for me. I work for 47 people. I work for my staff. They don’t work for me.

Joe Carlucci [00:22:57]:
And he has taught me that and helped me with that. And understanding what that means is hearing people, letting them have a voice, understanding them, understanding, like, no one’s perfect. No one has perfect life inside and outside of here. And it’s just shifted my attitude of the perspective I I have on people.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:16]:
And, Valentina, have you noticed any changes in your dad since he started working with a coach?

Valentina Carlucci [00:23:20]:
Yes. So I will say before, he wasn’t the best when with when people would start crying. Of course, he would, like, try to hug them and ask them what’s wrong, but he wasn’t the best with it. And now if you notice because we have a ton of girls that work for us, and girls can be emotional. And he’s just gotten a lot better with it, like, with emotions, understanding, and dealing with them. And I think the life coach really helped with that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:46]:
Joe, I guess as we finish up, what legacy do you hope to leave for Valentina both as a father and as a businessman?

Joe Carlucci [00:23:53]:
Well, it’s just one. I don’t care about the business. That was the best that I could make to her. That’s my legacy. Like, I love pizza, some of my blood, but my legacy is is as a father. There’s nothing second or close to it. I I can care less if she did this. Whatever she wants to do in life, she’s gonna be super successful.

Joe Carlucci [00:24:10]:
But my legacy is as a father, not as anything to do in this industry at all. There are so many more talented people in this industry than me. I’ve just been blessed to be around some great mentors like Tony. And at moments, I’ve captured those winning championships at that minute, that second, that hour, but nothing comes close to being a dad. That legacy is number one and the most important to me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:36]:
And, Valentina, if you had to give your dad a best dad award, what would it be for?

Valentina Carlucci [00:24:40]:
Being the best dad, everything he does is amazing. Of course, he’ll make mistakes on the way of being the best dad, but to me, he’s the best dad that there can ever be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:49]:
And we always finish our interviews with what I call the dad connection six. And a lot of times I have these just for dads, but with both of you here, I’m gonna ask both of you these questions and see see what you have to say. So, Valentina, I’m gonna start with you. What’s one word that describes your relationship with your dad?

Valentina Carlucci [00:25:06]:
Amazing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:07]:
And let’s flip it. Joe, what’s one word that describes your relationship with Valentina?

Joe Carlucci [00:25:11]:
Princess.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:12]:
Valentina, what’s the best piece of advice your dad’s ever given you?

Valentina Carlucci [00:25:15]:
If it’s all Valentine times, get up eleven.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:18]:
And, Joe, what’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received?

Joe Carlucci [00:25:22]:
Listen to them, don’t hear them. Or hear them, don’t listen. You know when they say you you you’re listening, but you’re not hearing me? Hear them. A lot of parents don’t hear their kids. They listen to their kids, but they don’t hear what they’re saying. It’s a big difference. My employees do the same thing sometimes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:34]:
Valentina, what’s one activity that you and your dad love to do together?

Valentina Carlucci [00:25:38]:
Anything that includes having fun.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:40]:
And Joe?

Joe Carlucci [00:25:41]:
Cooking. She we’ve been going out for Korean barbecue on Sundays and, Italian on Mondays. And she said to me about six months ago, like, these meatballs are horrible. Just and she knows how to make our meatballs in the sauce. She’s like, can you just can we just cook at home? Can you just teach me? I was like, yeah. So we stopped going out to eat. Then we started doing the Korean cooking at home and the Italian the next day. And that’s probably the best way to describe the connection was cooking.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:06]:
Now, Joe, I’m gonna follow-up with that. And if you could give Valentina one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Joe Carlucci [00:26:12]:
It’s not how hard you hit. It’s how hard you hit back. Kinda like getting knocked down, get up, but, like, every life’s gonna throw you a lot of curve balls. You gotta be able to swing them all over.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:20]:
Valentina, what’s one thing that your dad has taught you that you’ll never forget?

Valentina Carlucci [00:26:25]:
I’ll say if you try anything, always try your best at it. Or again, like, no matter what you go through, no matter what happens, never have an excuse for it. Always do it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:39]:
And Joe, what’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Joe Carlucci [00:26:43]:
That I can’t do this because I didn’t think I could. Scary. As long as I’m on this earth, I have to lead by example and I didn’t think I could do it. It’s not an easy job for any of us. And just trust me, dealing with this one. I have Corrine in there. Let me tell you, you know where Draly is to all the girls. So

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:00]:
Valentina, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters? What would you say to them?

Valentina Carlucci [00:27:08]:
Don’t always nag your kids around. Meaning, like, say if you correct them once, that’s okay, or a couple of times. But if all you do when you’re with them is, oh, why does your hair look so bad? Or your room’s a mess, or you’ve been a slob lately. And if you just keep on correcting them, they’ll never come out of their room and they won’t wanna talk to you because every time they talk to you, it’s just them insulting you instead of saying, hey. Would you like some help or would you like want me to clean your room if you are do a deep clean or something? There’s always a necessary way to say something.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:43]:
And Joe, what would you say?

Joe Carlucci [00:27:44]:
But you sell second time. You can’t make up time in life, so make them your world because you don’t have them for a long time. The older they get, the less they are. So make them your priority. Don’t make other things your priority. My priorities are if I’m not working, I’m with her. If I’m not and if sometimes she’s working with me and I’m with her outside of the year. But make them your priority.

Joe Carlucci [00:28:06]:
Not a priority where it’s it’s a business and, you know, in the sense of, like, oh, I gotta take them to sports. I gotta spend quality time with them, whether it’s with homework, watching a movie, listening to them, hearing them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:17]:
Well, Joe, Valentina, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for your time tonight and for sharing this journey that you’re on. It’s not over. It’s definitely just the starting point and we’ll continue throughout your lives together. And I know that I have loved to being able to see this dynamic play out in front of me, but I know that others will learn from this as well. And I truly wish you both the best.

Joe Carlucci [00:28:42]:
Thank you.

Valentina Carlucci [00:28:43]:
Thank you.

Joe Carlucci [00:28:44]:
It was an honor to have a be with you today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:45]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Performer [00:29:16]:
We’re all in the same boat, and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men.

Musical Performer [00:29:56]:
Get out and be the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Celebrating Small Wins: Why the Little Things Matter

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Hey dads, welcome to Dad Connections in 5—your quick stop for five-minute insights to help you connect with your daughter in real, lasting ways. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we’re talking about something that can easily be missed in the hustle of daily life:

Celebrating small wins.

Not the straight A report cards or the championship games—though those matter too—but the little victories: finishing a tough homework assignment, making a new friend, getting through a hard day with courage.

Why do the little things matter so much? Because when we celebrate those, we’re telling our daughters:

  • “I see you.”
  • “You’re growing.”
  • “Your effort matters, not just your outcome.”

Let’s unpack how noticing and celebrating the small stuff builds confidence, connection, and resilience.

Why Small Wins Matter

Think about this: If your daughter only gets praise for “big things,” what message might she take in?
That she has to perform or achieve something grand to earn your attention.

But when you highlight small efforts and daily courage, you’re reinforcing:

  • Her value isn’t based on results
  • Progress matters more than perfection
  • You’re with her in the everyday, not just on the mountaintop

That kind of support builds a solid foundation—the kind she can stand on when life gets hard.

3 Practical Ways to Celebrate Small Wins

1. Call It Out in the Moment

Notice when she makes a good choice, shows effort, or keeps trying—even if it didn’t go perfectly.

Say things like:

  • “I saw how you stuck with that even though it was tough—that’s awesome.”
  • “You were nervous about that presentation, but you did it anyway. I’m proud of your courage.”
  • “You handled that with kindness. That matters.”

You’re not waiting for perfect. You’re praising the process—and that builds confidence.

2. Create a “Win Wall” or “Victory Jar”

Turn small celebrations into a visible ritual.

  • Write down little wins on sticky notes and post them on a wall
  • Drop them into a jar and read a few at the end of each week
  • Let her decorate it with her own flair

This teaches her to track her own growth, not just rely on outside praise. And it’s a fun, visual way to reflect on how far she’s come.

3. Celebrate with Connection, Not Just Rewards

You don’t need to buy anything or throw a party. Sometimes, the best reward is your time and presence.

  • “Let’s grab ice cream and talk about how you crushed that quiz.”
  • “Want to go on a walk and celebrate how brave you were today?”

These moments say: “I noticed. I care. Let’s share this joy together.”
That’s how trust grows—and how relationships deepen.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here’s your challenge:
Catch your daughter doing something small—but good. And celebrate it.

  • Did she help without being asked?
  • Finish a book she’s been reading?
  • Manage her frustration better than last week?

Whatever it is, name it. Praise it. Celebrate it.

Because every small win you see and speak into life becomes part of her inner voice—the one that says:

  • “I can do this.”
  • “My effort matters.”
  • “Dad believes in me.”

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5. If this episode reminded you of the power of paying attention to the small stuff, share it with another dad who’s walking this journey too.

Until next time—keep encouraging, keep noticing, and keep celebrating the small wins that are shaping the big story.