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Building Lasting Bonds: Intentional Fatherhood with John Azoni

September 7, 2026 by dadofdivas

If you’re a dad on a mission to forge a lasting, meaningful bond with your daughter, “The Dad and Daughter Connection” should be your next podcast download. In a recent episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with John Azoni, a father of two daughters (ages 9 and 11), who opens up about the real joys and sometimes messy challenges of raising confident, independent girls.

Intentionality and Presence
From the very start, Dr. Christopher Lewis sets the tone: fatherhood isn’t about achieving perfection, but about truly connecting and learning as you go. Each week, the podcast dives into stories and practical advice to help dads show up with intention. As John Azoni shares, “There’s no one right way to father our daughters,” but we can always add new tools to our toolbox by learning from each other.

Creating Meaningful Memories
A standout theme of this episode is making memories, both big and small. John Azoni recounts an unforgettable trip to Japan with his daughter for her 10th birthday—a tradition inspired by a parenting book. But the heart of the conversation reveals that it’s often the simplest moments, like cooking together or going for wonton soup every Thursday, that mean the most. One-on-one time, even a half hour at bedtime, can become the foundation for lifelong connections.

Honesty, Growth, and Mistakes
Both John Azoni and Dr. Christopher Lewis candidly discuss the challenges—especially during difficult times like COVID or navigating questions around faith. John Azoni is honest about making mistakes, from losing patience to not always having the answers. The key lesson? “I make a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned to be okay with that… I want my kids to grow up and know their dad was crazy about them.”

Encouragement to Other Dads
The episode wraps with powerful advice: Be intentional. Don’t let stress distract you from what really matters. As John Azoni puts it, “The grass is greener where you water it”—the relationships you invest in now will shape the future.

If you’re a dad, or know someone who is, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a heartfelt reminder that showing up, being present, and embracing imperfection are the real keys to building an unbreakable bond with your daughter.

Listen to the full episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection to get inspired and start your journey toward a stronger relationship today!

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TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to connect with one another and work on building those that we want with our daughters one day at a time. I love that you come back every week because all of us are on a journey. Whether you have toddlers, whether you have a baby at home, whether you have teenagers at home, whether you have adult kids, we all are on this continuum of being a father to a daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:19]:
And we can always learn more. We can always learn more to help us to be able to be better in the role that we have. We’re gonna stumble, we’re gonna fall, That’s okay. All of us do it. There’s no one right way to father our daughters. But what we can do is we can learn from other dads what’s working for them, what’s not working for them, and build some tools for our own toolbox, add some tools for our own toolbox, and be able to get just that much better every day because that’s what we need to be doing. to be able to be there for our daughters. That’s what we need to be doing to be able to be present.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:59]:
And I am really excited to have another new guest this week. John Azoni is with us today, and John’s a father of 2 daughters who are 9 and 11. And we’re gonna be talking about the journey that he’s been on with his daughters. And I’m really excited to have him here today. John, thanks so much for being here.

John Azoni [00:02:15]:
Thanks for having me. It’s great to be here.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
You know, it’s really, I’m really excited to be able to have you here today and to be able to talk to you about the journey that you have been on thus far with your daughters. And I guess one of the things that I always think about when it comes to raising our daughters is we’re always running after those moments. We want those moments with our kids. And as you think back to the years that you’ve had with your daughters thus far, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with them and what made it so special? And one thing I’ll add is they could be separate moments as well.

John Azoni [00:02:49]:
So I read this book a number of years ago called Love Does. The author is Bob Goff and it’s a faith-based book. And in it, he talks a lot about parenting. parenting. And he told the story of taking his kids when they turned 10 on a trip anywhere in the world they want to go to, really leaning into what is it that they are becoming, what is it that they’re interested in, and, and where can we go in the world to kind of deepen that. And so I always thought that that was a cool idea. And my daughter, when she turned 10 last year, my daughter Ellie, in my mind I was kind of like maybe somewhere in the United States. I don’t remember explicitly saying anywhere in the world.

John Azoni [00:03:25]:
So when my daughter was like, I want to go to Japan, I was like, oh, okay. Well, so after a lot of hemming and hawing, I talked to my wife. She’s like, just do it. It’s like once in a lifetime. We’re like, all right, we’re going to Japan. So, so we went to Tokyo last May and it was so cool just to learn about another culture together, to really press into, you know, the stuff that she likes. She’s really into K-pop. It’s obviously not in Korea, but somewhere over there.

John Azoni [00:03:54]:
She’s into that kind of Asian culture and Hello Kitty. And they have the biggest Hello Kitty store in the world there, uh, video games and arcades where she can and do all the— she loves playing those claw games, which are really popular in Asian countries. So, so it was great. I mean, we just traveled around, we ate good food, we went to Paris Disney, um, and just spent a week together. That— and, and even just like, it was a pretty short trip, but— and people were like, well, you’re just going for like 5 days? Like, aren’t you gonna be— I mean, like, a big part of that is just traveling, you know? By the time you get there, I think we had 3 full days there. And I was just like, you know, it’s, it’s the adventure. It’s like traveling is, is part of it. We’re gonna learn how to do the airport together.

John Azoni [00:04:30]:
So on the way there, I kind of led the charge, but on the way back I was like, All right, where do you think we should turn to get to baggage claim or stuff like that? Or where do you think we should go to get our bags checked? So that was fun. And, you know, I’ve had other special experiences with my youngest daughter, Ryland. Currently though, we’re planning her trip. She wants to go to Paris. So we’re planning on going to Paris next year.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:50]:
Those will be experiences that they will never forget. And definitely you don’t have to do these huge moments. They can be small moments as well. But I had an experience like that last year with my oldest who is in college, but she was out in Colorado and I picked her up from a camp she was working in and we spent a week going to all the national parks all around in that area. So we went to Zion and Bryce and Grand Canyon and Petrified Forest, all kinds of places. And we hiked and we just had an amazing experience. And I think when you have those opportunities, not only are they great opportunities to be able to have to build memories, but you have time one-on-one. And I think that’s even more important.

John Azoni [00:05:32]:
Yeah, one-on-one time is really special. So last weekend, my oldest daughter went to Florida with my wife because she does dance, and her dance group went to go perform at Disney in the parade. And so that was just a life dream of hers. And she got this one-on-one time with my wife. And previously, we were kind of like, all right, we’re Disney’d out. We’ve been to Disney World. We’ve been on a Disney cruise. I took Ellie to Disney in Tokyo.

John Azoni [00:05:58]:
And we’ve been to Disneyland when we went to California last year. And my wife was kind of like, all right, this is the last time I got to go to Disney. And then I get a text from her in the middle of it. She’s like, this is so great. It’s such a different experience being one-on-one with Ellie and we’re just having the best time. And at the same time, I’m home with Ryland and we had our own special weekend. We, you know, wrote on the whiteboard, here’s all the things we wanna do and we wanna schedule all these things out. Anytime you can write a list on a whiteboard for my youngest, she’s all about it.

John Azoni [00:06:27]:
She loves to just like have a checklist, have a plan. So one-on-one time is something completely different that you just cannot replace.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:33]:
Now you talked a little bit about on that trip to Tokyo, giving your daughter some independence to be able to make some decisions and things like that. And, and as our kids are getting older, we definitely have to do that. How are you finding that you’re balancing not only guiding your daughters, but also giving them the independence to grow into the people that they’re becoming?

John Azoni [00:06:52]:
Oh, that’s a tough question. I try to lean into who are they and what is, what is my role in this? Like one of the things that I learned about Ellie on that Japan trip is how scrappy she is. And it’s so different for me. Like she has no problem going up and asking a stranger where to get directions. Or one time we were on the bus going somewhere in Tokyo and some lady was lost. And for some reason my daughter stepped in and starts trying to tell her where to go as if she knows where to go. I’m like, Ellie, where do you think you’re sending her? She just wants to get in there. And I’m just very like, I don’t like to be embarrassed.

John Azoni [00:07:27]:
I don’t like to ask for help. I’m a lot more shy, but she kind of lifts me up in that way. I really try to get on that level with her and also just try to let her be who she is and go out into the world and just talk to new people like her mom does. But I think it’s always a challenge where to step in. I think the biggest area that we are struggling with that right now is, is in faith. And I don’t know if you’re a person of faith, but when I got married, my wife and I were both devout Christians. And over the last 5 years, I’ve kind of deconstructed and my faith has evolved in a way— I wouldn’t say I’m not a believer, but I would say like I just have so many questions that I’m allowing myself to ask. And I’m engaging in these conversations with what I grew up believing versus what can be verified and things like that.

John Azoni [00:08:13]:
So I’m kind of down this more scientific path. My wife isn’t. How do we let our kids discover things on their own? And what do we teach them about the world? That’s been really hard because when you’re defining your parenthood around an entire ideology, like a religion, and that’s the lens that you’re giving your kids, and that’s the lens you’re told to give your kids, you’re instructed to teach them in this way. Well, now when you throw questions into the mix, mom and dad have different answers for what do you do? So I think we’ve kind of landed on. We want our kids to think independently. And when one of my kids has a tough question, I’ll say, well, here’s what I think. Here’s what I’m not sure about. Like, here’s what I have questions about.

John Azoni [00:08:55]:
Here’s what your mom thinks. And you can kind of make up your own decision. And that was also never more true in, you know, this most recent election. You know, my oldest had a lot of questions about who was running for president, who was the good guy, and who was the bad guy. And it’s easy to want to pick a side and train your kid on that side. But we really tried to just step back and be like, well, Well, here’s what this side says. Here’s what that side says. What do you think? And so that’s kind of where we’ve landed, I think, giving them some scaffolding, but letting them kind of figure it out themselves.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:26]:
And as you’ve been starting to do that with your daughters, especially around this faith journey, what has their response been?

John Azoni [00:09:33]:
It’s tough because they knew me when we were all praying every night and putting them to bed and going to church all the time and, you know, all this stuff. And so they’ve seen me kind of drift and ask these questions that they look at me as I’m supposed to have the answers To these, you’re supposed to know if if Adam and Eve are real people or not. And so that’s been tough. You know, their response has been honestly one of confusion. I wish I had a glossy answer for you. It’s not gone great. It’s very tough to navigate. And like I said, you know, we just go back to like here’s what two different people can think, and we can hold two different things in tension.

John Azoni [00:10:11]:
And certainly the Bible, there are a lot of instances where the Bible is represented as God holding two. seemingly opposing things in tension together and somehow making it work. So we kind of go with that. But yeah, I wish I could tell you that it’s gone. It’s just been perfect. And they’re— they have all the answers that I don’t have. But anytime you’re trying to sort through something on your own and your kid’s looking to you for the answer, that’s just a tough position to be in.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:36]:
It is a tough place to be because, I mean, you try to have that solid front on everything in parenting because when you don’t have the solid front, then things tend to go awry. So I think what you’re hearing here, though, is that John and his wife still have a solid front, but they’re attacking it in different ways. And they’re providing their kids the ability to be able to move in the direction that makes more sense for them. That doesn’t mean that they’re not in alignment on other things in their parenting journey, though.

John Azoni [00:11:07]:
Yeah, I would liken it to, like, giving them— I mentioned the term scaffolding, and I really like that term. And I would just say, So we’ve just really widened the scaffolding around faith to where we’re still in this box. But what that looks like on a day-to-day basis or on an individual beliefs basis can look different. And 2 people can arrive at different conclusions and still have the same heart.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:31]:
So as you think about your daughters and you think about what you’ve been doing with your daughters, what are some intentional ways that you have worked to strengthen your bond with your daughters, especially during times that might be more challenging?

John Azoni [00:11:43]:
COVID was a time of obviously being sort of forced into this intentional time. And at first it was very stressful because at the time I had a salaried job and a certain amount of PTO days and I’m a rule follower. So if I say I’m working, but I’m off at the park with the kids, like I don’t, I don’t feel good about that. But like there was all this stuff that you had to do from out of necessity during that time. So it was a stressful time, but it also kind of caused me to be like, let’s really soak this up. And so we did a lot of stuff together as a family, but that actually led me to leave that job. and start my own company, my own video production company. And for a big reason was to be more flexible with them and to be able to be home with them and be there when they need me and not have to worry about PTO.

John Azoni [00:12:28]:
And so that’s opened the doors to a lot of great times where I might be right in the middle of a busy project and I would get a call from the school. And my oldest, Ellie, she was the one that would call home a lot. She would feel a stomachache or something and she’d feel like she needed to go home. And we would have to navigate like a lot of times, like, what is the line that Where Dad will pick you up and where you need to tough it out. But there’s a lot of times where I could have been really stressed about work, but I had to just really be like, you know what, I’m just— I’m gonna go pick her up. I’m gonna be happy about it. I’m gonna have a smile on my face. I’m gonna make her feel like Dad wants to be here.

John Azoni [00:13:01]:
Dad cares about me. He’s not annoyed with me. You know, I think just those small acts have been great. And I remember, you know, other times too, just a lot of our special times revolve around food.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:12]:
Yeah.

John Azoni [00:13:13]:
It seems like every Thursday, a number of years ago when Ellie was in preschool, she would have a half day. And so I’d pick her up and every Thursday we’d go get wonton soup on the way home at this Chinese restaurant. And we learned— Dad stepped out of his comfort zone and learned the owner of the restaurant’s name so that when we called, we can say, hey, Lynn, our usual. She wanted that. Like, that would just be so cool. And so eventually she started calling and being like, hi, Lynn, it’s Ellie, just our usual. And then we’d go pick it up. But we cook a lot together too.

John Azoni [00:13:42]:
My daughters each really enjoy cooking and no matter what we’re making, just spending time together. And that’s where I think one-on-one time is really important because trying to cook with both of them at the same time is just a constant referee of who got to chop what, who got to pour this, who cracked the last egg, you know. So I found just one at a time, we’ll have a great time together, but let’s just, you know. So yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of opportunities, but I think it’s a lot in those small moments where it’s like my natural reaction might be to be stressed or just to be worried about the day-to-day. stuff, but like my daughters are looking to me as like, am I liked? Like, am I loved in this moment? Am I safe in this moment? Does my dad want to be here? And I really try to, to just put on a smile and just be like, you know what, this— because one of the things I say, I started saying since I started my own business was my business is in service of my kids, not in spite of them. And that’s a tough thing to, to stick to because whether or not something gets done has a very real consequences about whether, whether income comes in the door. But, but the reason why I— half the reason I started my own company was to be there for my kids and to not miss this time with them. And so, so yeah, that’s kind of how I think about work and spending time with them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:01]:
All of us as dads, we’re not perfect. We make mistakes. And while we try our best to be the best we can, we’re going to make mistakes. We’re fallible. We’re humans. What’s a mistake that you made as a father? And what did What did it do, or what did you learn from it about fostering positive communication and connection with your daughters?

John Azoni [00:15:20]:
I think it’s a pattern of mistakes. And when I get overstimulated, when there’s too many people talking to me at once, I get immediate, like 0 to 100 stressed out. And that’s— I’m so likely to just lash out and like snap and say something, tell them to be quiet, but in a rude way that we’re not allowed to say. So that’s where it’s such a tension of like, because they’re both in the back talking like peak back-talking phase. And honestly, my youngest is the most cutting about it. I mean, she will just go right for the jugular. And they talk back usually as a reaction and not as a response, like not as an intentional response. So when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed and I lash out, I’m not doing any service to them.

John Azoni [00:16:06]:
It’s very hypocritical to tell them that’s not how we talk to people. And then just in a, in a different way or a different use of words, I do the same thing. So I think that’s— I think we’re all learning together. How to regulate ourselves. My wife is a therapist, and so we’ve learned a lot about the concept of regulation, and we’ve read a lot of parenting books about when your kids make you mad or something, or they say something completely disrespectful, they’re dysregulated. They’re not really choosing that response. And so your job as a parent is to be the one that regulates, not escalates. And so that’s— that is the toughest thing for me, like— I have to really think I’m feeling myself escalating this situation and I need to be the, I need to be the regulator.

John Azoni [00:16:50]:
So I don’t know if that answers your question, but that’s just a slurry of thoughts of, of communication between me and my kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:58]:
No, I appreciate you sharing that because I think it is important to understand that that happens. I mean, and we’re going to, things are going to adjust and, you know, and all of us get overwhelmed at times. And especially these days, there’s so many things being thrown at every one of us. And whether it’s technology, whether it’s, you know, whatever, there are so many things that are being thrown at each one of us, not only us, but our kids, etc. So it is important to know that. And then finding ways to be able to quiet the noise, not only for ourselves, but quiet the noise for our kids, I think is also important as we think about our— the way in which we’re fathering. Because if we know— if you know that you’re triggered when that happens, you have to figure out for yourself, and you’ve probably already done that, is What can you do to quiet the noise so that you can continue being present and continue, continue being who you want to be with your daughters?

John Azoni [00:17:51]:
Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:52]:
So there’s been a lot of things that you’ve talked about where you’re showing that you’re doing some intentional things to really connect with your daughters. What do you do intentionally to make your daughters feel valued and heard?

John Azoni [00:18:04]:
I think it’s just trying to get on their level and care about the things that they care about. My youngest, it’s always was so funny, and we, my wife and I laugh about this. We would pick her up from daycare when she was younger, you know, 3, 4 years old. And that could be a very stressful moment because we’re also picking up my oldest from daycare and she’s wanting to do something. Can we go out for ice cream? Or when’s mom going to be home? Blah, blah, blah. And again, too many people talking to me at once. And my youngest, all she wants to do in that moment is show me the drawings that she made and show me the little worksheets that she did. And it’s so important to her.

John Azoni [00:18:38]:
And she feels, you can just see the receiving of love when you look at her and you care about what she wrote, that she wrote her name or that she did something, that she wrote, she counted to 10 or whatever it is. And so, I mean, we have stacks and stacks of paper because that behavior has never stopped. She’s almost 9 and she still to this day wants to show us everything. She went to this art camp a couple weeks ago, made all kinds of art. And the first thing she wants to do when we get in the car is like, Dad, let me show you what I made. And it’s so important that I give her my full attention. And I can get on board with that because I’m— my background’s in fine arts. I’m a painter.

John Azoni [00:19:14]:
So I went to art school and all that stuff. So that’s a perfect thing for me to like get on board with. I think just, yeah, finding in those moments, what are they really trying to say right now? What they’re really trying to say is, Dad, I want to connect with you. Not like, not necessarily about the papers or the drawings or whatever. And I find that with my oldest too. She’s starting to outgrow like bedtime, but she still wants me to put her to bed. And, you know, and I’m kind of just like clinging to that for as long as possible. And we just have the best talks.

John Azoni [00:19:43]:
Like, there’s just no greater conversation than when we’re just— I’m just laying in her bed with her next to her and we’re just, just talking about whatever, just laughing about things. I mean, so much laughter happens in those moments. And I listen when I’m putting my other daughter to bed, my wife’s putting Ellie to bed, I hear them cracking up too because they just get into the funniest, you know, they just become a new person. They feel so safe. And so I think just being intentional about those moments, because sometimes I’m like, I’m tired, it’s 9:30, I got to get up at 5 in the morning. I don’t want to spend a half an hour, you know, laying, laying with you and waiting for you to brush your teeth and waiting for you to put your pajamas on. And it’s getting towards 10 o’clock now. And so I try, but I try to really push that aside and say, hey, she’s, she’s not going to ask me to do this for much longer.

John Azoni [00:20:29]:
And in 5 years, I’m going to miss any, any attention she gave me, like her wanting to actually hang out with me, because it’s going to be the other way around. So, so I think it’s just, I think it’s just recognizing in those moments what’s really most important and then just leaning into that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:45]:
Now, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our Dad Connection 6. 6 more questions to delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:52]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:53]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:56]:
Humor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:57]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you ever received?

John Azoni [00:21:02]:
It’s probably from when you’re walking around a grocery store and you get like a whole stream of like elderly men that will say, I remember when my daughter was that age and then she started driving the next day. Like, don’t miss it. I really actually took advice to heart, like what I just said. I’m like, there’s gonna be a time when they’re not gonna want to hang out with me, so don’t miss it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:20]:
What’s one activity you and your daughters love doing together?

John Azoni [00:21:24]:
Cooking.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:25]:
If you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

John Azoni [00:21:30]:
I think just don’t change for other people. Don’t be the person that you’re with. I think like maybe girls especially start dating and things like that, they want to change to be liked and to impress and things like that. And so I think my advice would just be to just be yourself and be What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad? I have learned, I have learned that I make a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned to be okay with that. I just want my kids to grow up and know that their dad was crazy about them. And for all my flaws, I want them to— I watched this video one time. It was my boss’s. We did a story on my boss at the time at my old job, his family.

John Azoni [00:22:11]:
And we interviewed his wife and they were talking about her parents and they asked her, what’s your favorite thing about your dad? And she said, said how much he loves me. And she started crying. And I edited that video. So of course, I’m like, I’m like tearing up and like, you know, you got the music going and stuff like that in the edit, in the video edit. So, but I’ve always kept that with me as like, that’s like my mantra as a dad. Like, I’m gonna mess up, but like, I want my kids to, to really feel and be imprinted with how like crazy I am about them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:39]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

John Azoni [00:22:48]:
I think it’s just being really intentional with them. I think for me, I just think about, it’s like we have 18 years if we’re lucky, and I want to build as many memories with them as possible. And I don’t want to waste this being stressed about stuff that’s just not going to matter in 50 years. And so, and I think about it the same way of like marriage advice. People contrast the saying of the grass is greener on the other side. side with, with saying the grass is greener where you water it. And I like that about marriage. And that’s something that I keep in my mind.

John Azoni [00:23:20]:
But I also think that that applies to kids too. I mean, the type of relationship that you’re going to have with your kids now and when they’re older is determined by how intentional you are in these early years and just watering that grass.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:34]:
Well, John, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here today, for sharing what you shared with the journey that you’ve gone through. If people want to find out more about you, I know you got a podcast. Is there a place that people can go to find out more?

John Azoni [00:23:46]:
Yeah, I’m very active on LinkedIn. My name’s spelled J-O-H-N-A-Z-O-N-I if you’re searching for me. That’s probably where I hang out the most, on LinkedIn. I don’t post a whole lot of family stuff, but once in a while you might get some sort of business advice through the lens of being a dad to 2 girls.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:00]:
Well, again, John, thank you so much for being here, and I wish you all the best.

John Azoni [00:24:03]:
Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:03]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:24:34]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals, we buy them presents. So bring your A-game, ’cause those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, Carpenters and muscle men, get out and be in the world too now. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

From Struggles to Strength: A Father’s Path to Connection and Recovery

September 22, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In a recent episode of the “Dad and Daughter Connection” podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Matt Strain, a devoted father and passionate advocate for intentional parenting. Matt’s candid conversation offers a heartfelt look at the ups and downs of fatherhood, highlighting the power of presence, vulnerability, and shared experiences in building deep and lasting relationships with our daughters.

Learning As You Go

One of the central themes in the episode is the recognition that there is no instruction manual for fatherhood. Matt and Dr. Lewis both emphasize that every dad is figuring it out as they go—making mistakes, learning, and growing alongside their children. The podcast exists as a toolbox, filled with stories and insights from other dads, to remind us that we are not alone in this journey.

Overcoming Personal Struggles

Matt’s story is notably powerful for its honesty. He opens up about his journey with sobriety—how a transformative conversation with his doctor prompted him to quit drinking when his daughter was just an infant. Through pain, persistence, and the support of his family, Matt rebuilt his life, learning healthier ways to cope and connect. His journey is a testament to the resilience that many fathers quietly cultivate and the courage it takes to make hard changes for the sake of our children.

In sharing his struggles with vulnerability, Matt models an important lesson for other dads: you don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be present and honest. This authenticity builds trust, showing daughters that their fathers are not only protectors, but also humans who strive, stumble, and get back up.

Building Connection Through Shared Experience

A highlight of the episode is Matt’s story of bonding with his daughter through physical activity, especially cycling and preparing for triathlons. Rather than imposing his interests, Matt encourages dads to meet their daughters where they are—even if that means learning to love something new. Whether it’s cheering at a dance recital or joining Girls on the Run, the key is to actively support the things that make them light up.

Takeaway for Dads

Matt’s journey reinforces a simple but profound message: being a great dad isn’t about perfection—it’s about being present, listening without judgment, and building memories together.

This episode is filled with wisdom, inspiration, and practical insights for any father who wants to deepen his connection with his daughter. Listen to the full conversation and discover how you too can strengthen one of the most important relationships in your life.

Subscribe to the “Dad and Daughter Connection” and join a community of fathers growing, learning, and connecting every week.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work on our relationships with our daughter, working to build those strong relationships that we want to have with them one step at a time. You know, there are no rule books.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:08]:
There are no guidebooks. There’s nothing that we get. When you become a father, whether it’s a father of a son or a father of a daughter, you gotta learn along the way. And this podcast exists to be able to give you some of those tools for your toolbox, allow for you to be able to learn from others that have come before you, and allow for you an opportunity to be able to build some resiliency, some other tools to allow for you to be able to know you’re not alone and that there are so many other dads out there that struggle, just like you do, to be that dad that you want to be. And my hope every week is that you have an opportunity to be able to take some things away from each of these conversations, to learn from our guests, to. To allow for you to be able to gain that insight that will allow for you to be that father in the future that you see yourself as being. Today we got another great guest. Matt Strain is with us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:07]:
Matt’s a father of two. He has a son and a daughter, and we’re gonna be talking about his relationship with his daughter and some of the things that they’ve been doing together to be able to strengthen that bond along the way. But as always, we’re gonna get to know Matt a little bit more as well. Matt, thanks so much for being here today.

Matt Strain [00:02:25]:
Oh, thank you for having me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:26]:
You know, we always start off our conversation with some opportunities to be able to get to know you and your relationship with your daughter a little bit more. And I guess, first and foremost, as you think about your relationship With Lily, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with her thus far and what made it so special?

Matt Strain [00:02:44]:
I think a lot of it. For a lot of us who had young kids, when the COVID lockdown hit, we were all stuck in the house really, really close to our kids. A lot closer than most parents get under normal circumstances. But I think one of the moments that really, really sticks with me was after things finally slowed down and we opened things back up. After doing all of first grade and some of kindergarten remotely, my daughter went back to school in person. And it was really hard for her because she had forgotten how to interact with other kids. Now at this point, we were walking to school every day because her school was only about half a mile away. And I would walk her to school, and more often than not, when I came to pick her up, she was just porn up.

Matt Strain [00:03:29]:
We would be upset, we would be crying, and I would ask her what’s wrong? And a large amount of it was just this lack of remembering how to socialize. One of the big arguments was, you know, at recess today, nobody wanted to play the game that I wanted to play. And we went through this period of about two months where I had to remind her that, you know, but did you volunteer to play anybody else’s games that they wanted to play? And she was like, well, no, I wanted to play my game. And I’m like, well, they feel the same way. And we had a lot of these conversations over the course of about six to eight weeks. And after about six to eight weeks, she started getting re socialized and re acclimated. And it wasn’t just one aha moment or big light bulb, but I think during those walks and those conversations, we got a little bit closer. And more importantly, she got to a point where she felt like she could trust me and talk to me and that I would, number one, listen.

Matt Strain [00:04:25]:
And not try to tell her what I thought, but listen to what she had to say and that she could rely on me to not judge.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:32]:
You know, that’s so important, because being able to not judge and be able to just be there, be present, is something that is not always innately male. I’m going to say so many times men are programmed to fix things, and we jump right in with that answer. Instead of just being in the moment and listening. Talk to me about that for you. And whether being a father to a daughter, whether in that situation or in others, if you’ve had to reprogram yourself in any way, well, there’s been a.

Matt Strain [00:05:06]:
Lot of reprogramming of me since I became a father. I have a lovely partner in life. My wife, Angela, she is a doctor. Which is the reason why when my daughter was born A little over 11 years ago, I stepped away from my career as a chef and became a stay at home parent. We wanted to have a parent at home. And to be blunt, Dr. Money Trump Chef money. And we had a desire to pay the house note and the bills and that type of thing.

Matt Strain [00:05:31]:
So she kept working. And her focus is she works in psychiatry. And she has helped me along a lot. And one of the things that we do as a couple is that whenever one of us starts complaining about either something happening at work or in our social lives or with the kids or whatever else, at some point during the venting session, one of us will look up and say, honest question, are you looking for answers or did you just want to vent? And a lot of the time the answer is, I just want to complain. I just need somebody to complain to. And it was hard. It’s really, really hard because I’m like you. My instinct is, well, I know how you can fix this.

Matt Strain [00:06:10]:
I know what I would do in that situation, and you want to do that, but that’s not what that person needs at that moment. So a lot of it started long before we had kids. One of the things that happened shortly after my daughter was born and I stepped away from my career as a chef, that was the biggest change. About four months after my daughter was born, I went into a doctor’s appointment, and I’m a type 2 diabetic, so I regularly get blood work done. And my primary care physician noticed some abnormalities in my blood work and had me come back in to do an additional panel and brought me back in after those results came in to have a real serious conversation with me. And basically I went into the doctor and the doctor informed me that I was going to quit drinking that day. And I laughed and I said, oh, yeah, you mean cut down, right? And to her credit, my doctor pointed at my daughter, who at that point was a little over four months old, sitting in her little car seat asleep, thank heavens, during the doctor’s appointment, and said, that really depends. And I said, depends on what? And she said, it depends on if you have any intention of living to see her graduate high school.

Matt Strain [00:07:12]:
And I said, excuse me. And she explained that the way that my liver enzymes were so far out of whack that she was fairly certain that I was within a percentage point or two of being put on a transplant list and that I would probably die before I got one. And so I went home and quit drinking. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I was a real jerk, I used to say for the first three or four months. My wife has informed me that it was closer to the first year. But at this point I am over 11 years without a drink. And that changed a lot of things for me.

Matt Strain [00:07:47]:
Having worked in the restaurant industry, drugs, alcohol, it’s all just part of the world. No one even looks twice at the idea of somebody sitting down and having three or four drinks before work. Especially when you’re somebody like me who was working in the kitchen, not out there dealing with people. Obviously it had gotten out of hand, but the thing that I wasn’t prepared for was that when I stopped drinking, I had to relearn how to function. I had no ability to control emotions whatsoever because I had spent years and years just numbing everything. So there was a really rocky period in there in the early part of my daughter’s life. Luckily, being as how this happened when she was four months old. Neither of my children have any memories of their dad when he was actively an alcoholic.

Matt Strain [00:08:35]:
They’ve only known me in recovery, which is a huge plus. But it really did prompt a lot of big changes in my life and learning new coping mechanisms, new ways to interact with people in the world and everything else. And I think that also really helped me become a better father because I was already in the process of making so many changes. It was really just one more thing added onto the pile.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:02]:
So I guess as you went through that journey for yourself and as you said, you had to go home and just stop. And for many men who may be in that situation where they either they were told that they need to and they, they don’t, or they think they need to and they struggle. Talk to me about that for yourself. And what allowed you to be able to be 11 years in, to be able to make that step for yourself as a man, as a father, to be able to stay consistent in this journey that you’ve been on?

Matt Strain [00:09:38]:
Well, in the beginning, I’m not going to lie, it was pure fear. I mean, I was terrified at that point. I was 42 years old. I was not ready to die. I had just become a father. I have this little tiny squiggling little bundle of love. I mean, we all remember that four to six month period. We’ve all blocked up the memories of the 3 o’ clock in the Morning, waking up and wishing for the sweet release of death or at the very least, a longer nap.

Matt Strain [00:10:03]:
And, I mean, I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t feel the urge to drink. I mean, it was there constantly. It helped that I have a really supportive family. One of the things that my wife and I did is we removed every bit of alcohol from this house, and it was two years before there was any alcohol of any kind in this house. And, I mean, we removed Nyquil, we removed vanilla extract, we removed cooking wines, everything. My wife, the only time she got to drink is if we were out to eat somewhere or if we had gone to a party or gone over to someone else’s house. She might have a little. But number one was that we got rid of the opportunity for it.

Matt Strain [00:10:44]:
I stopped carrying cash of any kind. I started doing everything that I do with nothing but a credit card. Because with credit cards, there are receipts, and with receipts, there’s accountability. That was a request that I made, not her. That I looked up and said, I need to do this for me. And again, after that initial period, I started to come alive again. I started doing things that I hadn’t done in decades, whether it was spending more time reading or, you know, going hiking in the woods again and getting outside, things that I just wasn’t doing and hadn’t been doing for the last 20 years and really started to enjoy living life. And after a while, it just became a personal challenge to realize that I’m stronger than this.

Matt Strain [00:11:33]:
Again, I hate to go back to those stereotypical I’m a man type mentalities, but it was, I’m not going to let this be. And I worked hard and I struggled. There’s no two ways about it. Like everyone who goes through this process, there were stumbles. There were stumbles. But one of the phrases that I use is a lot of time, you’ll hear people, people that will keep a list of, I’ve been sober for this many days, and then they stumble and they have a drink, and suddenly they’re like, well, I’ve undone the past six months worth of work, and the answer is no. No, you haven’t. You had one bad day.

Matt Strain [00:12:06]:
That doesn’t discount the six months prior to that. Unless you let it get up, dust yourself off, and get right back on the right path. After about two years, it became the new norm for me. One of the other big ones, and this was the hardest one for me, was that I realized that the best thing I could do was to be very, very public and open about the fact that I couldn’t drink. I let all my friends know. I let all of my family know because that made them help look out for me. And again, if you’ve informed your friends that I have a problem and I can’t drink and you find them still offering you drinks, newsflash, those are not your friends. Those are just drinking buddies.

Matt Strain [00:12:49]:
Your real friends are going to be like, oh, well then, yeah, let’s keep this away from you. And it makes a huge difference. One of the funniest stories. As you know, I’ve been involved with the National At Home dad Network for a number of years and they throw a convention every year. So it was in 2021, right after the COVID lockdown. We had skipped a year and done a virtual convention. And then we did an in person one in Cincinnati and we were doing our kickoff party, which was convention Eve, and it was at this Irish bar. And as an intro, after I had been sober for about probably close to five or six years, we were out to eat one day and they had some non alcoholic beers on the menu.

Matt Strain [00:13:31]:
And I thought, you know, I’m going to try one of these. I mean, I had been very nervous about doing it for years prior to that for the fear that this might trigger cravings or whatever else. But I felt pretty confident in my sobriety at that point. And also I was just buying a bottle at a restaurant. It’s not like it was here at the house. And we still had all the safety measures as far as credit cards and everything else in place and it was really tasty and it made me remember that I really like beer for the flavor, but that wasn’t what I was using to fuel my alcoholism. Honestly, beer just couldn’t get me where I needed to go. I was drinking hard liquor for that.

Matt Strain [00:14:06]:
And so I’ve begun drinking non alcoholic beer fairly regularly. So I’m standing at the bar as we’re getting ready for this kickoff party and I had asked the bartender if they had an non alcoholic beer and he was like, oh yeah. We just got in this new Lagunitas IPA that’s non alcoholic. And I’m like, great, I’d love to try one. And they brought one up and they popped open the bottle. And here I am holding a brown bottle of non alcoholic beer in my hand, taking a sip when somebody comes up the stairs. And it’s one of the other guys that comes to the convention regularly who’s a friend of mine, and he’s not a small man, he comes running across the floor of this second story restaurant. And I mean literally, I can hear the thumping and literally jumps in my face and is like, what the hell are you doing? And I’m like, it’s not alcoholic.

Matt Strain [00:14:53]:
And he’s like, oh, oh crap. I’m really sorry, man. And my immediate response was, no, don’t be sorry. I love that. Like that shows me that you actually care. But his thing was he had never seen me with a bottled non alcoholic beer. All the stuff that I drank was always in can. But the fact is having people that are willing to have your back at that level really does help because I think you’ll find that most of the people that care about you want you to do what’s good for you.

Matt Strain [00:15:21]:
And there are some people out there who can drink in moderation. I’m just not one of them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:25]:
So you’re 11 years in and your daughter is 11. And so I guess one question that I have is as she gets older, there’s going to be things that will be temptations for her. As your son gets older, you’ve gone through this yourself and how do you hope to have conversations with them about your journey and what’s brought you to where you are today and the decisions that they make in their lives?

Matt Strain [00:15:53]:
Well, we’ve already had some of those conversations early on. I mean, my wife enjoys a glass of wine every now and then, occasionally hard cider or mead. But literally she will pour herself a glass of mead with dinner one night and then put a cork in the bottle and put it in the fridge and it might sit there for like three, four, five days before she bothers pouring another one. I, on the other hand, didn’t understand why a bottle of Jameson had a screw top because once I opened it, I wasn’t stopping till it was empty. When they were younger, they were oblivious. They didn’t think anything of it. But as they’ve gotten older, they’ve noticed that mom will have a glass of wine or we’ll have company over and everybody will be having a glass of wine. But I don’t.

Matt Strain [00:16:33]:
And we’ve told them up front that dad’s problem is that he doesn’t have an off switch, that once he starts, he really can’t stop and that the best thing that I can do for me is to just not start. And we’ve explained to them that this is just the way things are for dad and that it’s not that way for mom. So she enjoys every now and then. And when the time comes, I’m really Hoping that a they inherit my wife’s genetics, not mine, and that they don’t have that little thing in the back of their head that says more, more, more, but that if they do, the experiences that I’ve had and the things that I’ve been through will help me help them. The fact is, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t start using alcohol as well as other substances back when I was in high school and living at home with my parents. And they knew some, but they had no idea of most of it. I would like to believe that when my children get to that age and those temptations hit them, if they do give in and experiment and that type of thing, that with my previous experience, hopefully I’ll be able to identify the signs a little better than my parents were able to. And more importantly, that my wife can speak to them from the perspective of a professional who knows better.

Matt Strain [00:17:49]:
And I can speak to them from the perspective of somebody who’s been there and knows what the end result and knows where it’s going to bring you. And again, I don’t make a secret of it. I’m more than happy to explain to my kids this is what it was. Now I do it in age appropriate way. I mean, I don’t talk to my daughter when she was seven with the same details that I talk to her now that she’s 11 and about to go into middle school. But there’s no benefit in hiding any of our past to anybody.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:19]:
One of the things that comes to mind is this journey that you’ve been on is, is also a health journey in many different ways. Not only going from the brink of where your doctor told you that, that you were on the verge of being on a transplant list and possibly leading toward death, to now being in a much different place. And I know that when you turn 49, you decision to do your first triathlon and now you’re starting to share some of that exercise and health journey with your daughter. So tell me a little bit more about that journey for you.

Matt Strain [00:18:54]:
So when I was 49, full disclosure, I got picked up in 2021 as a brand ambassador for a particular non alcoholic beer brewery. And they’re very involved in the fitness space and they issued a challenge over Memorial Day weekend. And the idea was that you had three days to do their version of a triathlon. You had to swim for 30 minutes and they didn’t care what you were doing. You could swim laps, you could play Marco Polo, just as long as you were moving. And in the water, you had to bike for 30 miles however you wanted, and you had to run, crawl, walk, hike, whatever, for three miles. And I did all of it at the gym because I didn’t own a bike. And they had a pool and there was a treadmill, and my wife was working one of those days, so I couldn’t go that day because I wasn’t quite comfortable with bringing my kids to the gym yet, because while masking and protocols were going relatively well, My wife works in the emergency department of the hospital, so she was on the front lines during COVID And our biggest fear was that we were going to be the vectors spreading it to our community.

Matt Strain [00:20:01]:
So we isolated ourselves as much as we could. And I made sure that anytime I went out, I was wearing a mask, not so much to protect me, but because I was always concerned that she could bring something home from the hospital. And I didn’t want to be Typhoid Mary. I ended up doing it in two days. One day, I swam laps for 30 minutes and got out and then did three miles on the treadmill. And the next day I went back and rode a stationary bike for 30 miles. And after I’d done it, in return for doing that, I got a free case of their beer. So, apparently, exercise is much more of a priority when I’m getting bribed with something that tastes good.

Matt Strain [00:20:37]:
But I told my wife, if I can do this in two days, there’s no reason why I wouldn’t be able to do all of this in one day. And to her credit, she did look me straight in the eye and say, well, yeah, but why in the world would you want to? And I laughed, and I said, well, you know, I’m 49. I should do something epic. I’m too. Before I turn 50, I’m too smart to jump out of a plane. I already own a motorcycle. This seems doable. And she laughed, and she said, sure, why don’t you actually buy a bicycle and ride it outside before you jump all over this? And so I did.

Matt Strain [00:21:06]:
I bought a bike, and I started riding around the neighborhood and decided I was going to go through with it. And I finally did my first one, and it was painful. And there were a lot of points during that race that I questioned a lot of life decisions that brought me to that point. I finished dead last. Dead last by over half an hour compared to the person who came in second to last. Literally, the plan was to do it once, check it off the list, and never do it again. And about two days later, all I could Think of is, when’s the next, When’s the next? So the next year I ended up doing five. The year after that I did four more.

Matt Strain [00:21:39]:
Two Sundays ago, I did my 15th race. Now I’ve only been doing the sprint and Olympic distance. I’m not doing the long format, 70.3 and 140.6 races yet. That’s the goal down the road, but we have to build up to that. However, while I was doing this, my daughter started saying, you know, one day I want to do a triathlon too. And I remember laughing and saying, well, you know, the first thing we got to do is get the training wheels off your bikes. I’m pretty sure they don’t let you race with training wheels. And she was like, yeah, that’s true.

Matt Strain [00:22:09]:
So about two years ago, we were out at the park and she’s made up her mind. She was ready to take training wheels off. And we took the training wheels off and she took her about two or three tries and she got it down and was absolutely hooked on the bike. And so she and I started going on bike rides together. I think our first long ride, we did a 10 mile ride on a local greenway. Here I am riding a tricked out triathlon bike and she’s riding a Disney Frozen single speed huffy and did 10 miles. I was blown away by how tough she was. Granted, the complaints started at about mile eight, but like I told her, the car’s two miles that way.

Matt Strain [00:22:47]:
There’s only one way to get there so we can rest, but we got to keep going. And she got hooked and absolutely loved it. And then I stumbled across a group this past spring called Girls on the Run, which is a wonderful nonprofit that works with girls that are in third through fifth grade. And they work on positive body image and self confidence and all the rest of it using running as a teaching element. And the idea is that the girls sign up for it. They do two practices a week for like six or eight weeks. And at the end of it, all the girls run a 5k together. And it’s a real 5k, not just one.

Matt Strain [00:23:24]:
For the girls on the run, they do like, like a community 5k with people from all over. So needless to say, they don’t just turn third to fifth graders loose in a crowd of grown adults. Each girl is required to have a running buddy. Now, the girls are welcome to choose some of the coaches. They’re welcome to bring anybody they want. My daughter asked if I would be her running buddy, and I’m not gonna lie, I Teared up. I was so absolutely touched. I’m like, absolutely.

Matt Strain [00:23:48]:
I will do that. We’re gonna do it. It’s gonna be great. And the two of us went and we ran it. We had a great experience. I’ve got amazing pictures of the whole thing. She’s got glitter on her face and they do happy hair where they put like little hair extensions and barrettes that are fun colors. And they put temporary hair dye on the girl’s hair so that they can make a big thing out of it.

Matt Strain [00:24:11]:
And we did this 5k. And on her very first ever time running a 5k for practice with the girls on the run fold. She ended up doing it in a little over an hour, which for those who aren’t familiar, It’s a, a 3.1 mile run. An hour’s a long time, but again, she’s got short legs. So that’s what I went into the race expecting. We finished the race, the two of us, in 38 minutes and change. On race day, I was a little jealous because my first ever 5k was a little over 50 something minutes long. And it took me two years to build up to a sub 40 minute.

Matt Strain [00:24:47]:
And she got it on her very first one. But she had a blast. And we came home that night and she informed me, that’s it, I want to sign up for a kids triathlete. And I said, are you sure? And she’s like, absolutely. I’m like, all right, I’m gonna sign us up, but you’re committed once I push this button. And she’s like, I’m gonna do it. So we found a local. Well, I say local, it’s gonna be about a two hour drive away, but we’re, we’ve got a little vacation planned around it, but we’re gonna do a triathlon where they’re doing an adult triathlon that starts at 7 in the morning and then at 9 in the morning they’re doing a kid’s TR, which is significantly shorter distance.

Matt Strain [00:25:23]:
But again, the idea is to get the kids involved in this when they’re young so that they learn to enjoy it and continue doing it throughout their lives and maybe move into it more in adulthood. I think the distances for her race is it’s 100 yard swim followed by like a two mile bike ride and then maybe like a half a mile or so on the run. Whereas the adult version of it for the same thing is going to be 3 or 400 yards swimming, followed by like a 13 mile bike ride followed by a 5k or 3.1 mile run. But her big thing is that she wants to compare where I place in my age group to where she places in her age group to see who’s better. My answer is it’s going to be her because she is young and has a whole lot more endurance than I do. But I’m just excited that she wants to share this with me. Since then we’ve gone out, we’ve gotten her a bike that’s like multi speed and all the rest of it that actually fits her. Took two tries to find one.

Matt Strain [00:26:22]:
The first one fit her but she couldn’t reach the brake. And you do need to be able to use the brakes on the bike. So we found it, we found a second one that she could reach the brakes on and mine’s hanging on the wall behind me. And again, it’s really nice to be able to look up on like a Saturday afternoon and decide that we’re gonna have dad daughter time. And the two of us grab our bikes and our helmets and put some water in the water bottles and we go out and hit a local green one and we go ride bikes for a while while. And we don’t. I mean yeah, we chit chat a little bit again. For anybody who’s ever done like training riding, at a certain point it gets harder to talk because you’re tired and huffing and puffing.

Matt Strain [00:26:59]:
But we make pit stops and we can talk during that time. But honestly, it’s just nice to have an 11 year old daughter that wants to spend time with me because again we’ve entered that age. I’ve been told multiple times that I am cringe and I’m sure it’s going to get worse as she moves into middle school school. But I found something that we can share and that we can bond over and I want to make sure it stays that way.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:23]:
You know, it’s always so important to be able to find those things that you can share together. My oldest daughter and I, we cycle together, we run together, we enjoy hiking and getting outside. My youngest daughter and I do other things because her interests are not the same. Our kids are different and you have to figure out what it makes them light up and allow for them to many times drive the boat per se. So it is great to hear that you found some of that path for yourself with Lily and being able to create those special memories and special bonds together. We always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad connection six where I ask you six more questions to delve into you and your relationship. With your daughter a little bit more. Are you ready?

Matt Strain [00:28:07]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:07]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughter?

Matt Strain [00:28:12]:
Powerful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:12]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice you’ve ever received?

Matt Strain [00:28:16]:
Nobody’s perfect that you’re gonna make mistakes. Roll with it. Admit your mistake. Apologize. If you need to apologize to your kids for the mistakes that you make and don’t make them again. The same kind of things that we try to teach our kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:31]:
What’s one activity that you and your daughter love doing together?

Matt Strain [00:28:34]:
Oh, definitely riding bikes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:35]:
Now, if you could give your daughter one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Matt Strain [00:28:40]:
Be you don’t change for anyone.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:42]:
What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Matt Strain [00:28:46]:
That there’s so much more to life than just me. I know it’s cliche, but prior to having kids, so much of my life was wrapped up around what I want, what I need, where I want to be. It was a lot of I, I, I. And when I became a father, suddenly that went away. Don’t get me wrong, there are still things that I want out of life, but the priority is no longer me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:12]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Matt Strain [00:29:20]:
Find a place where you can meet your daughter where she is, not where you want to meet her. I got lucky in the fact that I had a hobby and my daughter decided that she liked that hobby. There wasn’t any guarantees that that was going to be the case. It could have very well been that my daughter decided that what she really love, being a cheerleader or something. And if that was the case, I was going to be the best cheerleader dad out there. And I was going to be there with her. I was going to cheer her on and support her and share that with her. Because if you can share in what they love, that’s where you’re going to connect.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:56]:
Well, Matt, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your own journey today. If people want to find out more about you, where should they go?

Matt Strain [00:30:04]:
I have an Instagram AT account. It’s called Daddy’s Not Drinking where it’s largely about being a dad. Lately there’s been a lot of posts about scouting because my son got into Cub Scouts and has decided that dad needs to move into the leadership of the local scouting community. So there’s a decent amount about that. There’s also a lot about triathlon and non alcoholic beer and regularly about what sober life looks like because it’s not quite as boring as I thought it would be. It’s actually a whole lot better than I thought it would be. But, yeah, that would be the easiest place again for anybody else who’s an at home dad. And for the record, that that doesn’t mean just stay at home parents.

Matt Strain [00:30:44]:
Anybody who is an involved dad and a primary caregiver to their kids, they are at home dads. I got involved with the national At Home dad network when my daughter was about 2, almost 3 years old, and my son hadn’t been born yet. And that that community of dads has been a huge lifeline for me and anybody who’s interested. Their website is literally at home dad.org they do a lot of great stuff, both virtually and then once a year in person, they do a big convention, which is literally professional development for professional dads. This year it’s happening in San Antonio, Texas on September 11th through the 13th, but all the details are on the website. Great. And I’m also on Facebook just with my name, Matt Strain, if any of you are actually still on Facebook. I know it’s kind of corny and all, but honestly, there’s a whole lot of people that that’s the connection I have with them.

Matt Strain [00:31:37]:
And as much as I would love to just get off of it, there’s things that Facebook is good at. You just got to ignore the noise.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:43]:
Well, there’s a lot of noise on all of the social media platforms, so that Facebook is not the only place where that happens, so. Well, Matt, I just want to say a thing. Thank you. Thank you again for sharing your journey today. We’ll put links in the notes today, but I truly wish you all the best as you continue this journey that you’re on with Lily and your son. And look forward to hearing more about not only this triathlon, but many to come in the future.

Matt Strain [00:32:08]:
Thanks. And thank you for having me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:10]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build strong, stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:41]:
We’re all in the same boat, and it’s full of tiny, screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game. Cause those kids are growing faster than time goes by Just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can be can be.

Strengthening Father-Daughter Bonds: Lessons from Broadcaster David Andrews

June 16, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Building a strong, meaningful connection with your daughter doesn’t come with a manual—a truth at the heart of every episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast. In a recent interview, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with David Andrews, Lansing’s beloved news anchor and a proud father of three daughters, to dive into the joys and challenges of being a dad.

This heartwarming episode is packed with both relatable moments and insightful advice for dads at any stage of their parenting journey. David openly shares that fatherhood, especially to three daughters with very different personalities, has been “a crash course” in love, patience, and adaptability. Yet, through each unique relationship, a single lesson rings true: being present and intentional is what builds lasting bonds.

Intentional Connection

A recurring theme of the conversation is the power of simply being there. David recounts the choice he and his wife made to adjust their work schedules, ensuring one parent was always home. By prioritizing presence, not perfection, David built trust and closeness with each daughter. From doing Austin’s hair in the mornings to spontaneous fishing trips with Carson as an adult, these moments weren’t just about activities—they were about making memories and fostering meaningful conversations.

Guidance and Independence

David is honest about the tricky balance between guiding your kids and letting them carve their own paths. He emphasizes the importance of supporting unique dreams—even when they take unexpected turns, like his daughter transitioning from tattoo artist to hair colorist, or another working to eradicate mosquito-borne diseases. His approach? Offer guidance, but let them discover their true passions, leaning on your own life experiences for wisdom without controlling their choices.

Listening and Traditions

The essence of feeling ‘valued and heard’ is simple: listen more, lecture less. David’s philosophy on fatherhood centers on being a reliable sounding board—letting his daughters express themselves openly, knowing he’ll respond with empathy (not a sermon). He also highlights the value of family traditions, from regular birthday dinners to playful social media photoshoots, which have evolved into cherished rituals that unite his family.

Taking Life Lightly

With humor as a family glue, David reminds dads: don’t take life too seriously. Whether through social media antics or cheering for the Green Bay Packers together, laughter keeps relationships strong and reminds everyone that joy is found in the journey, not just the destination.

Ready for More?

If you’re eager for practical wisdom and real-world stories about raising strong, independent daughters, this episode with David Andrews is a must-listen. Tune in to the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast—because every dad deserves to feel seen, supported, and inspired.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there. It’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. I am so excited that you’re here today as we are delving back into that relationship that you’re trying to build with your daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]:
It is such an important relationship, and every week I love that you are here to be able to talk about that, but also to learn and to grow from that. Because none of us walk into fatherhood with a manual about how to be the dad that we want to be. We learned it along the way. We trip, we fall, we make mistakes as well. And that’s why every week, I love being able to bring you different people with different experiences and be able to offer you some sneak peeks into their experiences in raising daughters so that you can learn from them. Today we got another great guest with us. David Andrews is with us today. And David is a news reporter, a anchor, someone that’s been in the Lansing news market for many years.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:49]:
He’s been at WIOX since the late 90s and even before that was at Channel 6 in Lansing. So he’s been in the news agency for a long time. Very well known in the Lansing community, but he’s got three daughters himself. So I’m always excited to be able to talk to other dads with daughters, to be able to gain some knowledge from them. David, thanks so much for being here today.

David Andrews [00:02:12]:
Yeah, Chris, it’s wonderful being with you. I know you’ve been asking me to be on this podcast for some time, and finally I’m glad to be able to sit down with you and talk about daughters. Like you said, I have three of them and it’s been a wonderful experience.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:27]:
So to start off today, why don’t you tell me a little bit about all three of your daughters?

David Andrews [00:02:30]:
Yeah. Oldest daughter is Austin, born in 1991, and she’s now 34 years old and she is a hair colorist. With a place in Lansing, Holiday Hair House in Lansing. So she’s been doing that for a number of years. She started out actually as a tattoo artist, so it was a neat transition for her to go from that to being a hair colorist. Middle daughter is Carson. She is four years younger, so she just turned 30 years old. And she works in the Chicago area as a scientist.

David Andrews [00:03:04]:
She graduated from Michigan State University and she’s now working with a company trying to eradicate mosquitoes. They come up with different chemical formulas for not just residential use by municipalities, but also third world countries where malaria is a problem, that people can die from diseases that mosquitoes carry. And so that’s what she does. She works with mosquitoes on a daily basis. And then our youngest daughter is Peyton and she’s 25 years old and she is a barber and she runs the Ram Barber shop in Holt, which was established more than 60 years ago. Same guy ran it for that many years. He retired and she was able to get into there. And now she is the barber at the main, I guess, barber shop in Holt.

David Andrews [00:04:00]:
So we’re very proud of her and she just started that about a year ago.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:03]:
So as you think about your three daughters, very different people, very different experiences, I’m sure, with them. As you think back to the moments that you’ve been able to share with them thus far, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve shared with each of them and what about it made it special?

David Andrews [00:04:20]:
Well, I think each one of them, because they, like you say, they are so absolutely different in many ways, yet they’re the same in a lot of ways too. But I think each one of them growing up, we had a unique dynamic. We never had to have daycare in our house because my wife Monica was in radio for many years and she worked the morning shows. And I, at the time when our daughters were growing up, I always worked the evening news, 6 and 11 o’ clock. And so there was always one of us in the house parenting. So we never had to have any kind of daycare for the daughters, which I thought was an important thing, plan it that way, it’s kind of how it worked out. But with each one of them and being, you know, four years apart and then five years apart, I was able to experience like with my first daughter, Austin, being the first and being a new parent and a dad of a daughter, I had no idea what to do yet I was thrust into getting her ready every morning and being the sole parent there and not being able to rely on anybody. So it was really a crash course in not just parenting a child, but parenting a daughter.

David Andrews [00:05:36]:
And so dealing with the hair. I think that was a big connection with her. And it’s funny because now she’s in the hair business, styling people’s hair. I was the one had to style her hair. So we have that unique connection with Carson being the middle child. Now she’s the middle child, but at the time she was the second child. I seem to have a better grasp maybe on now here’s another daughter. I know how to do daughters.

David Andrews [00:06:03]:
And so when she came along, I think it seemed I’ve got a better grasp on this. And she’s kind of the one that is a very steady kind of demeanor. So my connection with her is probably a little more straightforward. She’s not as emotional as I am or as my oldest daughter Austin is. She’s a little more of the calm demeanor. And so our relationship is one of more kind of a matter of fact, but very comfortable. And. And then our third daughter, you know, then came five years later, kind of by surprise.

David Andrews [00:06:41]:
And so when we knew we were having a third child and when we found out that it was going to be another daughter, I kind of was relieved because again, I know how to do daughters, so it seemed like a no brainer for me. So. And of all the three daughters, she’s probably most like me. So we have a great connection, yet a very much an adversarial connection because you’re competing with the same person sometimes with what you like and what you don’t like. I see things in her that I see in me that I don’t like. And so it’s a yin and the yang with her. We have a great relationship, but yet she’s the one who’s most like me. And it’s kind of scary now, you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:26]:
Know, I know that with your kids there’s this balance that you play and trying to guide them while still giving them independence. And I guess as you think about that, how did you balance guiding your daughters while also giving them the independence to become the people that they were becoming?

David Andrews [00:07:45]:
And that’s probably to me, the hardest thing because you want to make the decisions for them. And I found myself having to step back and saying, no, they’ve got to make their own path. I can’t decide their path for them. All I can do is guide them. And if they want suggestions of how to do it, I will give them suggestions and help them with whatever path they take. And for example, Austin, when she wanted to Be a tattoo artist. That was such an unconventional thing that it was like, okay, if that’s what you want, we will support you. And we did.

David Andrews [00:08:26]:
I mean, we helped, you know, her go to classes and finance that so that she could experience that. And then when she said, I don’t want to do that anymore and I want to do this, it’s. Then it’s like, okay, then it’s. You’ve got to support it. Because I was the same way when I was in college. I mean, I was a park ranger for the National Park Service. And then all of a sudden, in the middle of my degree, I up and said, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to do something else.

David Andrews [00:08:54]:
And then eventually got into tv. And I know my parents at the time were like, what are you throwing away four years of college? And so I always look back on that, what I did in shifting my life. So I always remind myself, you know what dramatic change is not bad because they’ll fall into whatever is right for them. And so that’s. I think I relied on my own experience to then guide them, to help them find out what they eventually want to do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:25]:
Now, this show is all about developing connections, and you’ve talked about some of the ways that you have created connections, and as a father of daughters, you have. Have to make those intentional connections to build those bonds with your kids. What are some intentional ways that you’ve been able to strengthen the bonds that you’ve had through those intentional connections that you’ve had with your daughters?

David Andrews [00:09:46]:
I think just like you say, being there and doing things with them, I mean, when they were younger, I always tried to, well, be at their sporting events. But now, in later years was, you know, let’s go canoeing. Let’s. Even as adults, you know, hey, you want to go? Go fishing? I remember with my middle daughter, Carson, I mean, it was just a couple years ago. She was in her late 20s. I didn’t realize I’d never taken her fishing. And so we, like, 27 years old, we got fishing boats, went fishing, and so it’s that kind of thing. And my youngest daughter, I.

David Andrews [00:10:19]:
Sporting events are big for us, so we love going to sporting events together. So it’s doing things together that help strengthen that bond and conversation at the same time.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:31]:
What do you intentionally do to be able to help your daughters to feel both valued and heard?

David Andrews [00:10:38]:
Definitely listening. Listening to them and not lecturing to them so that they know that they can come to me and they’re not going to get a speech about what they should be doing, but more of a sounding board of, you tell me what’s going on in your life. And if you want me to interject, that’s fine. But if you just wanted me to be a sounding board, that’s fine too. I think listening is probably the most intentional thing that I could do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:06]:
What’s a tradition or a routine that you’ve created together with your daughters that has been able to strengthen your bond?

David Andrews [00:11:13]:
I think just getting together as a family, holidays, special occasions, we still make very much a point, like on birthdays, that we’re going to go out to dinner somewhere, we’re going to get together on certain occasions, it’s going to be the family unit if everybody can get there. But we haven’t let that, that pass, that we’re just big into traditional things that families do that all families do, and we don’t want to let go of those no matter where we are in life, in proximity. So that’s been important to us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:48]:
Now, anybody that’s followed your social media knows that you have a sense of humor and you put that sense of humor out into the world through your, the posts that you put out there and even some of the pies that you bake and things like that, and cakes, I should say as well, talk to me about how you were able to infuse your own humor with your daughters and how that helped you to be the father that you wanted to be.

David Andrews [00:12:14]:
Well, it’s funny because social media, I was much more outgoing with it than my family initially wanted to be because every time I would invite them over to come over, they would go, do we have to be camera ready or do we not have to be camera ready? And sometimes if I really wanted them to come over, I would tell, I’m not going to take any pictures, just come over. You don’t have the, the pressure of taking pictures. But now it’s evolved into they know that pictures are going to be taken and they come prepared and now they come prepared with ideas of what picture we should take. So it really has evolved into something fun that now they enjoy and they enjoy being in the pictures and then to seeing how many likes and shares that we get. So it’s almost competition between them now to see who can get the most. But it actually has turned into a bonding experience what we post, you know, and every time we, when we’re doing a birthday, they know, come over, we’re going to take a birthday picture with you. And they just know that’s part of the routine, and it’s been a fun bonding experience.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:27]:
Now, I know that you and your wife Monica, both personalities, people that people in the community, at least in the Lansing area community, know, and people feel like they know, know you very well. But you have your personal life, you have a professional life. When you have kids, there’s that balance of playing for anybody that is in the, we’ll call it the limelight, per se, of being able to live the personality versus the home Persona. How did you either safeguard your kids from that as they were growing up or include them as a part of that? And what did you have to do to be able to have that optimal balance in that regard?

David Andrews [00:14:06]:
I think that probably has been one of the most challenging parts of parenting for the both of us is because of the notoriety we have, we can’t hide. There’s no hiding from anything. So everything we do is kind of has a public perspective to it. And to try and shield the kids from it, I think would be impossible. I think what we tried to do is to incorporate them into it and to never hide anything from them, to share with them that this is who we are and this is what comes with this territory to help soften that blow to them, that when you’re going out in public, people are going to come up to us that we don’t know and may come up to you as well. And so that’s been a balancing act that I think they’ve totally adapted amazingly well to over the years. There’s never been a time when any of them have thought it was a burden.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:07]:
We always finish our interviews with what we like to call our dad Connection six, where I ask you six more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

David Andrews [00:15:20]:
Positive.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:21]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you’ve ever received? Listen, what’s one activity that you and your daughters love doing together?

David Andrews [00:15:31]:
Watching football.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:33]:
And favorite team.

David Andrews [00:15:34]:
All of ours, in fact, are the Green Bay packers. And much to my wife’s chagrin, who is a Detroit Lions fan who thinks all these three were born and raised in Michigan. Why aren’t they? I was born and raised in Wisconsin and somehow they all took my allegiance when it came to football.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:55]:
They all became Packerbackers.

David Andrews [00:15:56]:
Yes, they did.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:57]:
Yes. I lived in Wisconsin for three years. And when you live in Wisconsin, you better be a Packer, otherwise you’re really going to be ostracized.

Musical Outro Performer [00:16:04]:
Right?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:05]:
Right. I completely understand that. Now, if you could give your daughter one life lesson. And this could be all for all three daughters. I should say in a single sentence, what would it be?

David Andrews [00:16:14]:
Don’t take life too seriously.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:16]:
And what’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a father?

David Andrews [00:16:20]:
That I shouldn’t take life too seriously. Yeah. The same thing. Yeah.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:26]:
And to finish up today, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

David Andrews [00:16:35]:
I think being there in all capacities is the most important thing to any loving relationship. Being there and being a positive force in their lives.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:49]:
Well, David, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey today. I know it’s not ended in any sense. You always are a father of daughters and you’re always going to be that person that they come back to and that they are going to rely on to be able to help them in different ways. It just changes and adapts as they get older. But I truly thank you for your time today. If people want to find out more about you, where should they go?

David Andrews [00:17:12]:
They can go to David Andrews.com or my Facebook page @DavidAndrews wilx.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:24]:
Well, David, thank you again for being here today, for sharing your own journey. And I truly wish you, you all the best.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:31]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:18:01]:
We’re all in the same boat and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your AK cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can.

Supporting Your Daughter’s Interests (Even When They’re Different From Yours)

May 9, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one intentional action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling something that every dad faces at some point—how to support your daughter’s interests even when they’re completely different from yours.

Now, let’s be honest. As dads, we sometimes hope our daughters will love the same things we do—whether it’s sports, music, cars, or hobbies we grew up with. But sometimes, she takes a totally different path. Maybe she’s into ballet instead of basketball, anime instead of action movies, or science experiments instead of sports.

And that’s okay. Because what really matters isn’t WHAT she loves—it’s that you show up and support her no matter what.

So today, I’m giving you four simple ways to embrace her interests, even when they’re out of your comfort zone—so she always knows Dad is in her corner.

Why Supporting Her Interests is So Important

When you take an interest in what your daughter loves, you’re telling her:

?? “I see you.”
?? “What matters to you, matters to me.”
?? “You don’t have to be like me for me to love and support you.”

That builds trust, confidence, and lifelong connection.

4 Ways to Support Her Interests (Even When They Aren’t Yours)

Get Curious—Ask Questions & Show Genuine Interest

You don’t have to love her interests—you just need to be curious about them.

If she’s into painting, ask, “What’s your favorite thing to paint?”
If she loves coding, ask, “What’s the coolest thing you’ve built?”
If she’s obsessed with a book series, ask, “What do you love most about it?”

The goal isn’t to be an expert—it’s to let her teach YOU.

Participate—Even If You Feel Out of Your Element

Sometimes, the best way to connect is to step into her world.

If she loves musicals, watch one together and let her explain why she loves it.
If she’s into a new hobby, try it out with her—even if you’re terrible at it.
If she’s playing a sport you don’t understand, go to her games and cheer like crazy.

You don’t have to be great at it—you just have to show up.

Celebrate Her Achievements—Big & Small

No matter what she’s into, be her biggest cheerleader.

If she finishes a new piece of artwork, hang it up somewhere.
If she performs in a recital, be front and center.
If she’s excited about a new skill, tell her how proud you are of her effort.

Your encouragement fuels her confidence.

Keep an Open Mind—You Might Find Something You Enjoy

Sometimes, what starts as supporting her passion turns into something you enjoy together.

You might actually get hooked on the show she loves.
You might find yourself enjoying her favorite music.
You might discover a new hobby you never expected.

Being open to new experiences makes your bond even stronger.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here’s your challenge: Before the day ends, ask your daughter one question about something she loves—and really listen to her answer.

? Be curious—ask questions about her interests.
? Step into her world—try something she enjoys.
? Celebrate her passions—big and small.
? Stay open—you might just find a new connection.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about WHAT she loves—it’s about knowing Dad will always support her, no matter what.

That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to strengthen his bond with his daughter. Until next time—keep showing up, keep supporting, and keep celebrating what makes her unique.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
Hey, dads. Welcome to dad connection in five, your quick practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter, one intentional action at a time. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re tackling something that every dad faces at some point, how to support your daughter’s interest even when they’re completely different than yours? Now let’s be honest. As dads, we sometimes hope that our daughters will love the same things that we do, whether it’s sports, music, cars, or hobbies that we grew up with. But sometimes, she takes a totally different path. Maybe she’s into ballet instead of basketball, anime instead of action movies, or science experience experiments instead of sports. But that’s okay because what really matters isn’t what she loves, it’s that you show up and support her no matter what. So today, I’m giving you four simple ways to embrace her interest even when they’re out of your comfort zone.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:04]:
So she always know knows that dad is here in her corner. So why is this so important? When you take an active interest in your daughter’s loves, you’re telling her, first, I see you. Second, what matters to you matters to me. And third, you don’t have to be like me for me to love and support you. That’s going to build trust, confidence, and lifelong connection. So here’s four ways that you can support her interests even when they aren’t yours. First, get curious. Ask questions and show genuine interest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:37]:
You don’t have to love her interest. You just have to be curious about them. If she’s into painting, ask, what’s your favorite thing to paint? If she loves coding, ask, what’s the coolest thing you’ve built? If she’s obsessed with a book series, ask, what do you love most about it? The goal isn’t to be an expert. It’s about her teaching you. Second thing, participate. Even if you feel left out of your element, sometimes the best way to connect is to step into her world. If she loves musicals, watch one together and let her explain why she loves it. If she’s into a new hobby, try it out with her even if you’re terrible at it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
If she’s playing a sport you don’t understand, go to her games and cheer like crazy. You don’t have to be great at it. You just have to show up. Third, celebrate her achievements. Big and small, no matter what that she’s into, be her biggest cheerleader. If she finishes a new piece of artwork, hang it up somewhere. If she performs in a recital, be front and center. If she’s excited about a new skill, tell her how proud you are of her effort.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:44]:
Your encouragement fuels her confidence. Fourth, keep an open mind. You might find something that you enjoy sometimes, and what starts as supporting her passion turns into something you enjoy together. You might actually get hooked on the show she loves. You might find yourself enjoying her favorite music. You might discover a new hobby you’ve never expected. Being open to new experiences makes your bond even stronger. So here’s some quick takeaways.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:13]:
Start today. Here’s your challenge. Before the end of the day, ask your daughter one question about something that she loves and really listen to her answer. Be curious, ask questions about her interests, step into her world and try something that she enjoys, celebrate her passions big and small and stay open. You might just find a new connection. At the end of the day, it’s not about what she loves. It’s about knowing dad will always support her no matter what. Okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:43]:
That’s it for today’s dad connection five. If this was helpful, share it with another dad who wants to strengthen his bond with his daughter. Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting, and keep celebrating what makes her unique.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:59]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:04:29]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your A GAME Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast.

Musical Outro Performer [00:05:04]:
Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and muscle men, get out and beat the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Navigating Period Conversations: A Dad’s Guide with Al Zonsius

April 14, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, finding the time and approach to foster strong, meaningful relationships with our children can be challenging. This is especially true when it comes to the deep and nuanced bond between fathers and daughters. In a heartwarming discussion from a recent episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis and guest Al Zonsius of The Period Academy explore themes that resonate beyond the confines of typical parenting advice, offering powerful insights into building lasting connections.

Presence Over Perfection

One of the standout themes is the importance of being present over being perfect. Al Zonsius shares personal stories about her relationship with her father, highlighting the rollercoaster ride filled with both highs and lows. She emphasizes that the consistent act of showing up and being there, even amidst imperfections and disagreements, builds a foundation of trust and support. This theme urges listeners to focus less on being flawless and more on being there, listening, and engaging in the little everyday moments that matter most.

Educating for Empowerment

Another vital theme revolves around education and empowerment. With Al’s background as a student nurse midwife and co-founder of the Period Academy, the conversation underscores the importance of equipping daughters with knowledge about their bodies. Fathers are encouraged to step into this dialogue confidently, fostering an environment where their daughters feel empowered, informed, and unashamed about natural processes like menstruation. This educational empowerment extends beyond physical health, imparting self-esteem and confidence that carry into other areas of a young woman’s life.

Bridging Emotional Gaps

Fathers often grapple with understanding the emotional landscapes their daughters navigate, especially during puberty. The podcast discusses strategies for bridging these gaps, such as offering support, practicing empathy, and creating spaces where daughters feel comfortable discussing their feelings. Acknowledging and validating emotions builds a framework for open communication, making daughters feel heard and understood. In turn, this emotional availability strengthens the father-daughter bond.

As you reflect on these themes, consider tuning into the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast for further insights and practical advice. Listening to real stories and expert opinions can inspire and equip you to enhance your relationship with your daughter. Because at the end of the day, being an engaged dad isn’t about knowing all the answers—it’s about being there, learning together, and growing stronger, one conversation at a time. So, why not take a moment, listen in, and start building those bridges today?

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and the dad and daughter connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started. Because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection. I’m really excited to have you back again this week to really delve deeper into that relationship that people have between dads and daughters to be able to build those strong connections that will help to create that, not only communication, but that relationship that we all want to have with our daughters. And every week, I love being able to have you here, to talk to you, to help you, to give you some resources to draw upon, to help you to become the dad that you want to be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:25]:
Because it is so important to be able to have resources at your fingertips because the bond that you are creating, the connections that you’re creating with your daughter are so important. And anything that you will read, any person that you will talk to will tell you how important that relationship is. And it may not always be easy, but it is so important to put in the time, the effort, and be willing to put yourself out there to build that strong relationship. And every week, I love being able to have different guests to help you along that journey. And today, we got another great guest with us. Al Zanzias is with us today. And Al is a student nurse midwife, but also she is the cofounder of the Period Academy. And one of the most awkward conversations sometimes that dads are most concerned about concerned about having is talking to their daughters about their period, talking, going into that stage of their life when their bodies are changing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:23]:
And as a dad, you’ve not gone through that and you don’t always know what to say or how to support your daughter. And this academy that Al has co founded is one resource that’s out there that can really help you to be able to start not only understanding it for yourself, but to also be able to be a good resource for your own daughter. And I’m really excited to be able to talk to her about her own experience as a daughter, but also to talk about the Period Academy. Alf, thanks so much for being here today.

Al Zonsius [00:02:54]:
Thank you for having me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:55]:
You know, I’m really excited to have you here. And I always start these conversations really delving a little bit deeper into the relationship that you had with your own father. And we were talking beforehand and I said, Sometimes those relationships can be positive, negative, or somewhere in between. But I always love having these conversations because I think that not only do I learn something, but others will learn things about ways in which we can build those stronger relationships. So, I guess, thinking about the relationship that you had with your father, what’s one thing that your father did that made you feel truly seen, heard, and valued as a daughter?

Al Zonsius [00:03:35]:
That is a great question. So, it’s funny you say that some are positive, some are negative. And my dad and I had a very roller coaster ride of a relationship. At times, it was really wonderful, and we were really bonded. And at times, it was pretty negative, and we were very disconnected. But I will say the times that I remember so fondly as a child or as a young teenage girl were times where my dad would go above and beyond to be present with me. He actually traveled quite a bit for his job and was on the road a lot in and out of town. And I happened to be a big athlete when I was young, and there would be days that he would fly in just to come see me play basketball.

Al Zonsius [00:04:17]:
He would fly in just to come see me play volleyball, and I just knew how much effort that took. And not that it has to be every single day, every single game, every single moment going above and beyond, but I just remember the, like, just full body joy I would feel watching him show up in the gymnasium for a game knowing that he was, you know, across the country just, you know, that morning before. And so I remember those moments and, you know, having that up and down relationship with him has really kind of encouraged me to encourage my partner to kind of go above and beyond in those moments when he has the opportunity to do so because that was so impactful for for me as a child.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:58]:
You know, I I wanna unpack. You said that you had a roller coaster of a relationship, and and that can be challenging, of course. I mean, but I guess as you think back to that and where you are today as a person, how has that relationship and the experience that you had, and you already talked about talking to your own partner and how they can support you, but how did that relationship with your father influence the way in which you navigate life relationships and challenges today?

Al Zonsius [00:05:27]:
As an adult woman now, I would say that something that I that will always be with me as as the daughter of my dad is that he was always so strong in his stance on morals and beliefs. He wasn’t that he was closed minded. He was always open to learning. He was always trying to learn something new. But it makes me very, very strong in my beliefs and how I wanna advocate, whether or not it’s just in my daily life as a mom of my daughters or as my role as a clinician in the hospital. I mean, I’ll really put up a fight for every single patient I encounter, and that I know deep into me in my soul is because of him, because he was that way. And that’s probably why we had those negative moments in our roller coaster ride together because we both were heavy handed in that way. We both had, like, big, big opinions and big, big feelings, and we would stand our ground.

Al Zonsius [00:06:24]:
And so I think we battled a lot because of that, for sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:27]:
And you’re not the only daughter that goes head to head with their dads, and there are definite points in time in a person’s upbringing where that happens, but also sometimes in life, it just happens in regards to the relationship. Talk to me about what did you have to do to try to bridge that gap in the moment? And are there things that you might say to other dads that are having those tumultuous times that might help them to bridge the gap with their own daughters?

Al Zonsius [00:06:58]:
Yeah. I think gosh. I think that what and by the way, my dad actually passed two years ago, and so I keep talking about him in the past tense. But he would you know, we would have years, months go by where we wouldn’t speak because we had a little argument. We disagreed about something, and that argument turned into, I’m not gonna re reach out to him first, and then he would think the same thing. I’m not gonna reach out to her first. And I guess for me now as a an adult woman, I would say that because he was the parent, he should have always been the one to reach back out. In my mind, I was most of the time being stubborn, teenage, early adult years, making, you know, crazy decisions in life, learning life lessons as we go.

Al Zonsius [00:07:45]:
But I always needed him to reach out and to restart, rekindle the conversation of and just kind of get back into our relationship. And as we grew older as he grew older, him reaching back out became fewer and far between. And I always really had a difficult lot of resentment for sure too. And I just say, like, when I think about the future of dads and, like, what they can do is just always remember that you are the parent, you’re the nurturer, you’re the protector, you’re the safe place. And so don’t stop ever reaching out to your children. Don’t ever stop trying to reconnect with your kiddos, especially if you’re in a kind of a bumpy relationship, especially with a daughter, because it might not be that one day that you send a text message or that she’s gonna respond, but two weeks later, she might really need you to reach out. So just never give up on them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:35]:
I love that, and I think it’s so important that the last point you just said is to never give up on them. And I think that too often when people dig in, and it’s not my fault, it’s not my fault, and they’re not willing to meet in that middle. And I appreciate you saying, you know, you’re the parent. And yeah, that you may not see eye to eye, but you’re still the parent. And you can meet in the middle. You might not always have to agree on things, but you can still unconditionally love your child, and be there for them, even if you don’t agree with everything that they are doing, or the way in which they live, or whatever it may be. So I really appreciate you sharing that because that’s it’s not an easy thing to take in, but it is so important to internalize and to be able to think for yourself, Where am I at right now, and where do I wanna be? And I guess let me ask you this, and if it’s too personal, you don’t have to answer. Your father passed away a few years back.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:32]:
At some point, at toward the end of his life, were you able to get to that point of understanding? And if so, what did you have to do to get there?

Al Zonsius [00:09:42]:
We did and we didn’t. I was actually one of the final people with him when he was kind of put to rest. And I feel like in those moments, I could picture us back in the, you know, good old days when I was a little kid, and I was, you know, just obsessed and adored my dad. But leading up to that, we were still in a very kind of rocky, unknown. Communication was pretty minimal, not very deep. And so I wouldn’t ever say that we were perfect when he passed. I did get closure in a lot of different ways just being with him in those last moments and saying a lot of things to him. But I think the way to get to it, which was part of your question, I guess, would be I had to also meet him in the middle even though I feel and felt a certain way about, you know, certain things, how I wanted to manage my family.

Al Zonsius [00:10:34]:
And so, yeah, there was things that I had to be sacrificed in a way to ignore and push beside to have a relationship with him. And so we both had to do that. And I think if we would have had more time, I think we could have gotten back to a really good place, but he passed very suddenly. And so I yeah. I always have a lot of regrets though. And I think that if any dads are listening who have daughters, like, just know that every day is not promised and that you gosh, you don’t wanna leave this earth in a rough situation with your kids. I mean, I think about it all the time, how many more conversations I would have loved to have with him.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:10]:
Well, I appreciate you sharing that and and being willing to to go down that path because it’s not always an easy thing to talk about, but I appreciate you sharing that even though it wasn’t always the most positive experience. Now I talked about the fact that you’re co founder of the period academy. And as I said, talking about a period with your daughter is not only awkward for the dad, but it’s awkward for the daughter too. And a lot of times your daughters may not wanna talk to you about their periods, but it’s still very important as a dad to understand what they’re going through, how it’s impacting their bodies, but also their mindset, their etcetera. And I, as a father of two daughters that are now 17 and 20, You know, I’ve gone through this and definitely something that I wish that I had had the Period Academy at the time when things were first happening. So I guess one of the questions that came up when I heard about this was first and foremost, tell me the origin story and why you decided to go and become a cofounder of this organization, the Period Academy.

Al Zonsius [00:12:20]:
Yeah. Of course. Okay. So, honestly, it really started the company came about for many, many different reasons that just kinda kept telling me to do something, telling me to create some sort of educational platform. For me as a clinician, I work as a nurse now, and you mentioned I’m a student nurse midwife. And so I’m in my kind of final months of residency to be a midwife. But we take care of I take care of kids from very early age when they start to experience puberty all the way up until menopausal time for women. And so I see a big spectrum of different patients.

Al Zonsius [00:12:51]:
And a reoccurring theme in this field I’m in, and I’ve been in this field for almost ten years, is adult women didn’t get educational resources as children. They they are very unaware of basic anatomy. They’re also often unaware of what a period is and what is actually happening to their bodies. And I see it in the clinic, and I see it when they go to have their babies at the hospital. So that was a hospital. So that was a big thing that started to come up for me a lot, is that I was like, oh my gosh. Like, this is not this woman’s fault that she doesn’t have this knowledge. We must have missed something.

Al Zonsius [00:13:23]:
And the other reason is I was 11 when I started my period as a young kid, and I did not know what the heck was happening to my body at the age that a lot of women my age, and I’m in my late thirties, but a lot of my age women and even probably younger, like, it was very taboo. It was a very stigmatized conversation. My parents did not prepare me at all. And it still has a lot of stigma around it, which shocks me, but it does. And it is hard to talk about. And so what I started to notice is because of my experience in the healthcare field doing reproductive health, I also have two daughters and my daughters are four and six. And they are a little early for this talk, but I will tell you, my four and six year old know a heck of a lot about periods because I’ve been exposing them since they were born. You know, they ever since they could crawl after me into the bathroom, they have been exposed.

Al Zonsius [00:14:16]:
They’ve been desensitized almost to it. It’s a very normal thing in our home. And I’ll explain to you some, like, very easy things fathers and dads can start doing at home. But but yeah. So I actually started to have friends reach out to me. Hey. Do you have any tips of how we can get this conversation started with our kids? And I said, well, actually, funny you ask. I do.

Al Zonsius [00:14:34]:
I have so many opinions about it, and here’s what you can get started with. Here’s just a couple of easy ways to just start the conversation and start it as soon as you can. Because what we know is girls can start their periods as early as eight years old. That’s a normal range, eight to 17. It’s a big range, but we’re starting to see girls start their periods earlier and earlier in life due to many different factors. But I just always tell people start sooner than you even think you would ever need to start because before you know it and you won’t even realize it, they’re gonna start to get information from friends at school. So start having those conversations. I started giving tips out and talking to parents about it.

Al Zonsius [00:15:09]:
And then I mentioned it to my partner one day, and my husband and I said, listen. We think we need to create some sort of period educational something, seminar, presentation because nobody is doing this. And why not? And, you know, I started to research what are kids getting in public school systems, and it’s so minimal. And I was just, like, shocked by it, really. And I was also trying to explore who’s doing this, who’s educating our kids so that the parents because, you know, because we have this lack of comprehensive, standardized period education, menstruation education in school systems, it all falls on the dad and it all falls on the mom. The parents are expected to do it all. And that’s a big burden, in my opinion, as a parent myself, to put on parents who maybe don’t have the experience I have. I talk about periods every single day with about every single patient.

Al Zonsius [00:15:57]:
I ask them about their period and we talk about their period. And so for me, it’s very easy. Right? The language, the tools, it’s easy, but that’s not the same for every household. So the Period Academy was born, and my husband really was a cheerleader of it. Created a really wonderful kind of world of illustrations and how we could teach it. And then it just took off from there, and it was such a beautiful thing to see at the very beginning stages. We start we kinda opened up shop last summer, and hearing all of the parents just be so grateful that it’s a great starting point. It gives them the language to use at home.

Al Zonsius [00:16:30]:
And then I’d always have moms leave and parents leave, like, telling me how much they learned. Even though I’m really focused on my teaching is really kid focused. Right? I’m not teaching as if it’s adult people. I’m teaching them as kids where they’re at. You know? And this is, like, age kind of eight, nine, 10, 11 is where my target usually is. So that’s kind of how it all started, and now it’s going really well. And it’s amazing. And I feel like maybe I can make a little dent in some of these kids’ brains and give them a lot of education.

Al Zonsius [00:16:59]:
And my really ultimate goal is for a kid to start her period and not be scared. If just some kids could start and feel empowered and feel ready, like they have the tools and that they know they’re gonna be okay, because it is a very terrifying life, you know, transitional moment for most kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:16]:
Many fathers may feel unprepared or even uncomfortable discussing menstruation with their daughters. What advice do you have for dads who want to be supportive, but aren’t sure how to start the conversation?

Al Zonsius [00:17:30]:
Yeah. No. That’s a really good question, and I’ll start it with this. And this I’ll be interested to hear how this feels as a dad. Right? So I would say one of my number one questions I get from kids and I teach kids in groups of, like, 10 to 15 kids at a time. And the number one question I get is what if my mom’s not home and only my dad is home? So we’ve already built this society, this norm, this world where young girls assume they can only go to their mom. Now this is assuming we have a traditional household. Right? We have a mom and a dad that they’ve grown up with that dynamic.

Al Zonsius [00:18:05]:
So we’ve already spent however many years, eight, nine, ten, eleven years of that child seeing their parents that way. And I would say to that is how can we shift that? Because I know when I talk to dads, I know that they would feel so humbled and grateful if their daughters knew they could go to them if they needed help. And so they start their period, Mom’s not home, maybe mom’s on an out of town trip, and they start their period at school because most kids we know most kids will have their very first period at school. It’s because they spend so many hours during the week at school, or they might be at, like, a camp or, you know, an extracurricular activity. So sorry to go back, but we know that this is already in their brains. So which really every time I get asked this question, it hurts my heart because I know the dads in this world wouldn’t make them feel like they did something wrong. They’d be so supportive, and I know they would. So how can we get this shift to happen in

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:59]:
the

Al Zonsius [00:18:59]:
household? And the advice I always give is for dads to not exclude themselves from the conversations. Every adult person and even older sibling in the household should be part of the conversation and should contribute to it. So if we’re maybe starting to introduce anatomical parts to our children, you know, one, we know we always need to use appropriate anatomical terms for body parts. That’s a big part of my the very beginning of my presentation. Use appropriate terminology with your kids. And then also like, make sure that you know what those are for a girl. Know what the difference is between a vulva and a vagina. Help teach your kid that because if you can start that early, early on, you’re gonna always be seen as a safe space for your daughter.

Al Zonsius [00:19:43]:
Your daughter will feel like she doesn’t have to hide her period in the bathroom until get mom gets home the next morning or or whatever it might be. Just be part of the conversation. I think and this is a big expectation, but the moment I had a daughter, I had a very high expectation for my husband to be able to be the default when it comes to those things because I work a lot. When I go to the hospital, I’m there fourteen hours. That’s a long time to be gone. And and if my daughter were to need help, I always have told him, I want them to feel so safe with you that they can come to you and not even think twice about it. Mom’s not home? Okay. I’ll call dad.

Al Zonsius [00:20:19]:
Oh, dad’s in this room. It’s a little closer than that room. Like, I can just go to dad. That’s my expectation for him. And my husband, you know, he also helped me build this company, but he really did put in an effort. And that’s what I think it is. I think dads just have to put in a bit of effort to know basics about period. You should also know basics about anatomical reproductive parts for boys and girls, and you should know the basics about a period, especially just how to manage it.

Al Zonsius [00:20:43]:
Pads, tampons, period underwear. How because that’s what your daughter’s gonna come to you for. Right? She’s gonna have a period at school, and she’s gonna be probably very overwhelmed, and she’s gonna want, you know, know what to do next. The other tip I give to people in their households, not only being a part of this conversation, and this conversation, by the way, is very ongoing. Right? We’re talking about it all the time, is to start to expose your kids in the home to menstruation products and, like, actual in the moment menstruation. And sometimes my kids well, even today and my kids are a little unique, right, because I’m their mom. But, you know, sometimes I’ll be in the bathroom and my six year old will be like, do you want me to go get you a pad? Are you on your period? I make it so it’s such a normal day in the month that sometimes in my period I’m on my period, and sometimes I’m not. I actually and if parents are comfortable with it, and I know that not all parents are, but invite them into your space, especially when they’re really little.

Al Zonsius [00:21:36]:
Right? When they’re really little. Because the more you show them period blood, pads, what you when you wipe and you have very bright red blood, the more you show them that you’re sitting on that toilet and you’re okay, you’re not hurting, you’re okay, it desensitizes it, It normalizes it. It becomes a very normal part of life, and it’s very, you know, and it’s every month for, you know, most adult women. As long as they’re regular, it’s every month. So it’s such a normal part of life. And so just by exposing them, don’t make it a big deal. Yeah. This is just period blood.

Al Zonsius [00:22:08]:
This happens to your mom every, you know, twenty five days. And, you know, it doesn’t bother me. I have pads and I have tampons. This is what I use. You know, my kids love to play with pads and tampons. Have you ever given a three year old a tampon? It’s awesome. They love it. It’s very fun.

Al Zonsius [00:22:20]:
And so exposing them. Having products out in the open, I’m big advocate of this. Having a basket of your pads out in the open so kids can ask questions, especially when they’re really young. Let them ask questions. Dads know how to use a pad, know how to put it in the underwear, know how to take it away, know that they can only wear it up to eight hours, know that they should really wash their hands before and after. Those are things that dads should know, and moms too and parents too. But, yeah, those are kind of like the general and the go to things I say. These are the things that you guys can start doing that’s not really gonna need a lot of effort is just to start to increase exposure in the home to periods.

Al Zonsius [00:22:55]:
And I always joke, and I recently was interviewed. And I always say, like, the big reduction of stigma moment for me is when I go to a bathroom in a public space, I always hold my tampon or my pad outside of my pockets because I just want it to feel like this is a normal, physiological, natural thing that half the world’s bodies do. And we’re so scared of it and scared to talk about it. And I just wanna keep finding ways to make it less scary, less stigmatizing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:23]:
Now you kind of already talked about this, but one of the things that I was thinking about when I looked at your curriculum is that it covers a lot of the topics like period management, self care, puberty. And I guess, how can dads help to normalize periods and ensure that their daughters feel confident rather than embarrassed about this natural process.

Al Zonsius [00:23:45]:
And not only in a way of periods, but I think dads can build confidence in girls, which I think is something that’s really needed in our world today. Right? We need to kinda make young women, young girls more confident, have higher self esteem because we’re seeing it kind of at a big downfall right now. And I think if you can build your kids up from day one, always be their biggest cheerleader, always be their biggest fan. And I personally, and my husband too, like and it’s really easy. It’s just the language you choose to use. So when my kid has, like, a new outfit on, I try not to say you look really cute or look really pretty, but I always tell her, you look super brave, or you look really confident, and you look really kind today. Because those words in their brain are going to go far, far deeper than just this idea of, like, an outfit. Right? So ever since they were babies, it’s like, you’re look you’re being so brave.

Al Zonsius [00:24:37]:
It’s not you look so cute. I mean, my kids are adorable. Don’t get me wrong. They’re I’m obsessed with them. They’re the cutest things on the Earth. But I try to impede their brains with language of how brave they are, how smart they are, how autonomous they are, how important decisions they make are could be life changing for them. And so building those kids up. And then when it gets to time where you start to experience puberty, because we know you’re gonna start to notice puberty for your kids probably before they have a period, we do have an expectation that you’re likely gonna have breast buds.

Al Zonsius [00:25:08]:
You’re gonna likely grow some pubic hair, maybe some underarm hair, have a big growth spurt, and may even start experiencing vaginal discharge right before you have your very first period. I think that would be a great time for dads to really start to empower their kids. Have a moment where you see, like, okay. Maybe maybe you’ve noticed your daughter has some pubic hair or some breast buds, or you noticed when you did laundry that when you helped with laundry one day that there was vaginal discharge in her underwear. This is a great, great time for you to make sure she’s ready when she’s away from the home. It’s also a great time to make sure she’s ready at home. Make sure you have pets. Make sure she knows where they are.

Al Zonsius [00:25:46]:
Make sure they’re teen sized or preteen sized pads and that you can assume she’s gonna use what the other adult female in the house uses because it’s different, you know, tampons and pads. And we do know that I mentioned tampons here and there all the time because kids kinda get forced in a tampon usage, which is another conversation. But most children will use pads for a very long time. So dads can assume if they have an eight, nine, 10, 11, 12 year old that they’re gonna need to use pads first. Okay? So you don’t even need to worry about tampons quite yet, but really focus on having pads available and access to them. Like, where are they? And then also having something in their backpack for them so that they know it’s there. And I would encourage dads to I give kids at my seminars. I give them all a period kit, but it’s not like anything that is hard to do.

Al Zonsius [00:26:31]:
It’s just a little canvas bag, and it’s got pads in it, a moist towelette. And I also put a little note in there, and it’s an encouraging note that says, you got this. You’re gonna be okay, and we are here to support you. This is a big day for you. And so we are here if you need us. And I think if it had put that on a little piece of paper, like, you’re gonna you’re you’re great. You’ve got this. It’s gonna be okay.

Al Zonsius [00:26:54]:
I know it’s overwhelming because we can have prepare and prepare and prepare. But the first time you bleed, it’s a lot. It’s a big you know, and most adult women would probably be able to tell you where they were, maybe even what they were wearing, what the bathroom looks like that they were in, and what they felt in that moment. And and so being an outspoken empowered women, I can kind of assume that I have unique experiences in those ways, but most women are very shut down and fearful about it. So, yeah, if a dad can just give her the tools, make sure she’s got something in her backpack. Even a spare pair of underwear would be ideal. Right? Because you can assume she might either first start her period when she goes to sit to go pee. And we this happens often because your pelvic floor rests at that time, and so period blood can come out.

Al Zonsius [00:27:39]:
It might be noticed on toilet paper when she wipes, or she’s gonna have some in her underwear. And that is very overwhelming for kids. Kids ask me about that a lot too. What if I bleed through my undies? And so I like to say, put a pair of underwear in your backpack as well to always have, always have maybe an extra pair of shorts or something like that as well. And then just remind your kid, you can call me if you need me. I will come bring you clothes. I will come bring you pads. I’m always here.

Al Zonsius [00:28:05]:
Just communicate with them that you are accessible and that you are supportive. And if you don’t have all of the answers, I think that’s fair too. Right? Because I don’t have all the answers either. And I have kind of started to become very knowledgeable about periods for young girls, but but I don’t have all the answers. Sometimes kids will ask me a question and I’ll be like, oh my goodness. I gotta get back to you on that. And I think dad’s being, like, very humble and and transparent. Like, I don’t know the exact answer you need from me right now, but I do know how we can go find it, and we can kind of help you.

Al Zonsius [00:28:34]:
Just be supportive and communicate with your kids and remind them that they can always come to you. Just keep keep reminding them. I’m always here. You can always come to me even And this sorry. I’ll my answers are so long, but this is one more thing I’ll always mention. I like to tell kids when we have these conversations, whether it be puberty conversations, period conversations, sex conversations, that it is very normal to have a feeling in your body and in your mind that is a little strange and uncomfortable. And that’s normal to have this uneasy feeling. And I think if dads just expressed that to their kiddos, like, I know talking about these things with me might make you feel a little weird in your body, but it’s still something important we should do, and I need you to know you’re safe with me.

Al Zonsius [00:29:21]:
And that’s kind of a big deal, making kids feel safe when they use their words and they have big feelings and wanna talk to you. So that’s something I would suggest too is to always tell your kids, you’re gonna feel weird about this, but you’re safe with me. And that’s you know, I feel weird. And he would tell him, I feel weird about it too. You know, it’s a hard conversation to have. Be honest with your kids. You’re human.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:44]:
Now I know that puberty can also bring mood swings, PMS, and other emotional shifts. How can fathers recognize when their daughters need emotional support, and what strategies can they use to help without overstepping?

Al Zonsius [00:30:02]:
Yeah. And I you talk about premenstrual syndrome, PMS, in the presentation, and I talk about it because it becomes a very big part of your life when you start to have a cycle. And for some people, it can be a very debilitating part of your life. And so I talk about what is expected, what’s the most common, and then when is it too much or an issue where we would wanna maybe speak to a clinician. But when it comes to mood disturbances, irritability, a little less patience, even anxiety can increase as your period’s approaching. These are huge, huge, huge feelings that your daughter is probably feeling. And in your mind as an adult parent, you’re probably thinking, oh my gosh. Who is this child? One moment, they’re crying.

Al Zonsius [00:30:38]:
The other moment, they’re happy singing in the car. And so it’s like very it can be very roller coaster ride. I think just reminding yourself that oftentimes mood disturbances and irritability and that kind of anxiety that kids can get right before a period is something that’s really generally out of their control. And that’s because hormones, when they come in, they come in hot. And so and it’s something that’s very difficult to understand, especially when they’re experiencing it for the first time. And they’re really young and they’re, like, preparing to go through these stages. So I would just say, instead of taking this approach of, oh, you’re you must be PMSing. I mean, we’ve all heard it.

Al Zonsius [00:31:14]:
Right? Mom’s PMSing. Go, you know, go clean your room. Or mom’s PMSing. Don’t talk back. Do the dishes. Do your chores. I think instead of if you approached it in like, you know what? It seems like you might be having some bigger feelings these days, and I wanna know if there’s a way I can support you. Because sometimes kids will be able to tell you that, yeah.

Al Zonsius [00:31:33]:
You know, I just don’t wanna talk about it. But they also might say, oh, yeah. I’ve noticed that too, and I don’t really know the way I could use support right now. And then you can give suggestions. I oftentimes try to take my kids’ leads, you know, and it’s not a perfect example, but when my kids are tantruming or we’re in a moment and all parents know these moments, right, where your kid is not thinking logical. They’re tantruming. They’re not logical. They’re having definitely some hormone stuff happening.

Al Zonsius [00:32:01]:
And I always just ask them, do you want me to give you space, or would you like me to sit here with you? And I think sometimes as parents, that’s just needing to sit there and be quiet is a great way to show support and to hold space for your kids. And and even ask them, would it be better if I sat out right side the door and you let me know when you would like me to come in? Do you wanna maybe listen to some music together? Do you wanna go on a walk together? Do you want me to give you more ideas of how we can kind of support you, or do you wanna let me know when you have some ideas? And I think just making sure you’re not abandoning them in those big, big feeling and moments, and you’re giving them the opportunity to have autonomy over what they’re experiencing. You’re telling them that they can tell you what they need, and that’s so empowering for a young girl. Right? Being being very open. Like, is there something that specific I could do for you? Sometimes my daughters will ask me they’ll be in that headspace that’s out of control, but I’ll just say, would you like me to be here with you, or do you want some space? And they’ll all the time say, I want you here with me, but I don’t want you to talk. And so they’re just telling me they need the space. They need the sound and this chaos to slow down, but they need somebody in there to also hold on to all of that chaos with them until they’re ready to then talk about it. Sometimes I just offer, you know, let’s go sit outside for a second.

Al Zonsius [00:33:20]:
Let’s just go take a couple deep breaths. Let’s listen to some music we both like. Let’s put on a record we both like and just sit and just sit. Let everything slow down a little bit. But I think giving your kids autonomy over what they need is so huge. Those kids, eight to 12, is a tough age. It is a tough age. They’re experiencing a lot of things in that lifetime.

Al Zonsius [00:33:41]:
So, yeah, giving them the choice how they can be supported.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:45]:
Well, I truly appreciate you sharing that. And, you know, your your mission is so much more than just periods from everything that you have just said. It’s from what I’m hearing, it’s about not only periods, but helping young people to understand and feel comfortable with their bodies. And I guess as we finish up today, is there anything else that you’d wanna say in regards to how fathers can truly contribute to their daughter’s overall sense of body confidence and autonomy in a way that fosters trust and empowerment?

Al Zonsius [00:34:17]:
That’s a big question. I’m gonna try not to carry on like I have. I would say try not to always let the default for when it comes to very feminine things in life always go to the mom. I think starting to show that maybe because you’re a guy, you’re a male figure, that you don’t have any kind of understanding of those things for kiddos. I think, like, there’s nothing more wonderful than, like, my husband taking out my girls and then picking out a a Barbie and a really sparkly dress. And, like, that may be seen as something that I would do with them, but he loves having those moments where they can be in their feminine selves. And and I he sits down and paints their nails, and they sit down and paint his nails and, like, just kind of really desensitizing this idea that all the feminine times in your life have to go towards one way. And like I said, you know, girls really do have these fears, about being only with dad when they are in the most, you know, vulnerable time of their life.

Al Zonsius [00:35:16]:
And that to me just shows me that dads just need to do more inside the home, be part of more conversation inside the home. Maybe it’s not something you’re comfortable talking about, but maybe you have, like, a pamphlet or a brochure. I have a good print off on the our website on theperiodacademy.com, and it’s like it’s like the stages of puberty so that when you know, like, your period might be getting close, just give that to your kiddo and say, I found this. I thought it might be helpful and supportive of you to know kinda where you are at in your puberty years And when we know the period’s coming, bring her things home. If she’s PMSing and starting her period or she’s on her second cycle or whatever it might be, like, bring her something sweet home. Bring her a bouquet of flowers home. Make her feel feminine. Make her feel good.

Al Zonsius [00:35:56]:
Make her feel empowered. Build that relationship so that you are such a safe space for her that you can be like that forever. Be that guy that’s, like, really hard to compete with when she’s an adult woman, you know, looking for her life partner. And I think that would be the best. Right? I want our kids, my children to always say, like, you know, their future partners in their lifetime, if they so be you know, happen to be males, you have to compete with the love and the safety my daughter my dad provided me. And I think that’s, like, the goal dad should have for sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:36:27]:
Well, well, Al, I just wanna say thank you for sharing all of this today. And I guess as we conclude and we finish things up, as you think about fatherhood and your dad and other dads that are out there, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters? What would you say to them?

Al Zonsius [00:36:51]:
I would say to as much as you can, when you’re together, to be very present with each other. We live in this world where we’re kind of being overpowered by technology, and I have found it greatly affects kids. And for myself too, I always find myself answering emails on my phone or messages on Instagram or whatever it might be. And in my brain, I’m like, I’m working. I’m working. I’m always working. But when you’re in the same room as your kids, try to find those moments to be super intentional. Turn off all the technology and be just intentional with your time.

Al Zonsius [00:37:24]:
Even if you do have work to do, give your kids an hour of your undivided attention because that is starting to become very rare for a lot of relationships with kids. And especially for dads who maybe are the breadwinners and who maybe work a lot, you know, just like even if it means scheduling it. Scheduling, you know, from twelve to two, like, everything’s off just me and you, kid. Like, what do you wanna do? What do you wanna get up to? And I think, you know, that’s a good kind of tool of advice for a lot of parents and even for myself to remind myself to really kind of carve out time to be intentional and be really kind of mindful of your interactions and make them be something that is clear to that child that you are engaged with that child in that moment, whatever their kind of game they’re playing or wanna do. I think that’s really important.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:07]:
Now for anyone that wants to find out more about the Period Academy, where should they go?

Al Zonsius [00:38:11]:
You can go to the periodacademy.com, or you can find us on Instagram. On Instagram, I do a lot of tips and kinda teaching tools, and I share a lot of videos about how we can kind of approach certain topics based on periods. And then also on TikTok, I’m in my late thirties, remember, so I’m getting better and better at TikTok, but I’m trying. And, so, yeah, the period academy at the period academy on all the social medias.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:33]:
Well, Al, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for sharing your story today. Not only your story about your own relationship with your father and the things that you had to do in your life with that, but also in what you’ve created and what you’re continuing to create to help parents, not just dads, to help their daughters to be able to maneuver through this time in their life that can be kind of tumultuous, but also concern thing, it can also be a questioning time for them, for you as a dad, and I truly wish you all the best.

Al Zonsius [00:39:06]:
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:39:09]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:39:40]:
We’re all in the same boat, and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast, calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters and musclemen, get out and be the world to them. Be the best dad you can be.

Musical Outro Performer [00:40:32]:
Be the best dad you can be.