authenticity Archives - Dad of Divas

Building Lasting Bonds: Intentional Fatherhood with John Azoni

September 7, 2026 by dadofdivas

If you’re a dad on a mission to forge a lasting, meaningful bond with your daughter, “The Dad and Daughter Connection” should be your next podcast download. In a recent episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with John Azoni, a father of two daughters (ages 9 and 11), who opens up about the real joys and sometimes messy challenges of raising confident, independent girls.

Intentionality and Presence
From the very start, Dr. Christopher Lewis sets the tone: fatherhood isn’t about achieving perfection, but about truly connecting and learning as you go. Each week, the podcast dives into stories and practical advice to help dads show up with intention. As John Azoni shares, “There’s no one right way to father our daughters,” but we can always add new tools to our toolbox by learning from each other.

Creating Meaningful Memories
A standout theme of this episode is making memories, both big and small. John Azoni recounts an unforgettable trip to Japan with his daughter for her 10th birthday—a tradition inspired by a parenting book. But the heart of the conversation reveals that it’s often the simplest moments, like cooking together or going for wonton soup every Thursday, that mean the most. One-on-one time, even a half hour at bedtime, can become the foundation for lifelong connections.

Honesty, Growth, and Mistakes
Both John Azoni and Dr. Christopher Lewis candidly discuss the challenges—especially during difficult times like COVID or navigating questions around faith. John Azoni is honest about making mistakes, from losing patience to not always having the answers. The key lesson? “I make a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned to be okay with that… I want my kids to grow up and know their dad was crazy about them.”

Encouragement to Other Dads
The episode wraps with powerful advice: Be intentional. Don’t let stress distract you from what really matters. As John Azoni puts it, “The grass is greener where you water it”—the relationships you invest in now will shape the future.

If you’re a dad, or know someone who is, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a heartfelt reminder that showing up, being present, and embracing imperfection are the real keys to building an unbreakable bond with your daughter.

Listen to the full episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection to get inspired and start your journey toward a stronger relationship today!

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started, because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to connect with one another and work on building those that we want with our daughters one day at a time. I love that you come back every week because all of us are on a journey. Whether you have toddlers, whether you have a baby at home, whether you have teenagers at home, whether you have adult kids, we all are on this continuum of being a father to a daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:19]:
And we can always learn more. We can always learn more to help us to be able to be better in the role that we have. We’re gonna stumble, we’re gonna fall, That’s okay. All of us do it. There’s no one right way to father our daughters. But what we can do is we can learn from other dads what’s working for them, what’s not working for them, and build some tools for our own toolbox, add some tools for our own toolbox, and be able to get just that much better every day because that’s what we need to be doing. to be able to be there for our daughters. That’s what we need to be doing to be able to be present.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:59]:
And I am really excited to have another new guest this week. John Azoni is with us today, and John’s a father of 2 daughters who are 9 and 11. And we’re gonna be talking about the journey that he’s been on with his daughters. And I’m really excited to have him here today. John, thanks so much for being here.

John Azoni [00:02:15]:
Thanks for having me. It’s great to be here.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
You know, it’s really, I’m really excited to be able to have you here today and to be able to talk to you about the journey that you have been on thus far with your daughters. And I guess one of the things that I always think about when it comes to raising our daughters is we’re always running after those moments. We want those moments with our kids. And as you think back to the years that you’ve had with your daughters thus far, what’s one of the most meaningful moments that you’ve been able to share with them and what made it so special? And one thing I’ll add is they could be separate moments as well.

John Azoni [00:02:49]:
So I read this book a number of years ago called Love Does. The author is Bob Goff and it’s a faith-based book. And in it, he talks a lot about parenting. parenting. And he told the story of taking his kids when they turned 10 on a trip anywhere in the world they want to go to, really leaning into what is it that they are becoming, what is it that they’re interested in, and, and where can we go in the world to kind of deepen that. And so I always thought that that was a cool idea. And my daughter, when she turned 10 last year, my daughter Ellie, in my mind I was kind of like maybe somewhere in the United States. I don’t remember explicitly saying anywhere in the world.

John Azoni [00:03:25]:
So when my daughter was like, I want to go to Japan, I was like, oh, okay. Well, so after a lot of hemming and hawing, I talked to my wife. She’s like, just do it. It’s like once in a lifetime. We’re like, all right, we’re going to Japan. So, so we went to Tokyo last May and it was so cool just to learn about another culture together, to really press into, you know, the stuff that she likes. She’s really into K-pop. It’s obviously not in Korea, but somewhere over there.

John Azoni [00:03:54]:
She’s into that kind of Asian culture and Hello Kitty. And they have the biggest Hello Kitty store in the world there, uh, video games and arcades where she can and do all the— she loves playing those claw games, which are really popular in Asian countries. So, so it was great. I mean, we just traveled around, we ate good food, we went to Paris Disney, um, and just spent a week together. That— and, and even just like, it was a pretty short trip, but— and people were like, well, you’re just going for like 5 days? Like, aren’t you gonna be— I mean, like, a big part of that is just traveling, you know? By the time you get there, I think we had 3 full days there. And I was just like, you know, it’s, it’s the adventure. It’s like traveling is, is part of it. We’re gonna learn how to do the airport together.

John Azoni [00:04:30]:
So on the way there, I kind of led the charge, but on the way back I was like, All right, where do you think we should turn to get to baggage claim or stuff like that? Or where do you think we should go to get our bags checked? So that was fun. And, you know, I’ve had other special experiences with my youngest daughter, Ryland. Currently though, we’re planning her trip. She wants to go to Paris. So we’re planning on going to Paris next year.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:50]:
Those will be experiences that they will never forget. And definitely you don’t have to do these huge moments. They can be small moments as well. But I had an experience like that last year with my oldest who is in college, but she was out in Colorado and I picked her up from a camp she was working in and we spent a week going to all the national parks all around in that area. So we went to Zion and Bryce and Grand Canyon and Petrified Forest, all kinds of places. And we hiked and we just had an amazing experience. And I think when you have those opportunities, not only are they great opportunities to be able to have to build memories, but you have time one-on-one. And I think that’s even more important.

John Azoni [00:05:32]:
Yeah, one-on-one time is really special. So last weekend, my oldest daughter went to Florida with my wife because she does dance, and her dance group went to go perform at Disney in the parade. And so that was just a life dream of hers. And she got this one-on-one time with my wife. And previously, we were kind of like, all right, we’re Disney’d out. We’ve been to Disney World. We’ve been on a Disney cruise. I took Ellie to Disney in Tokyo.

John Azoni [00:05:58]:
And we’ve been to Disneyland when we went to California last year. And my wife was kind of like, all right, this is the last time I got to go to Disney. And then I get a text from her in the middle of it. She’s like, this is so great. It’s such a different experience being one-on-one with Ellie and we’re just having the best time. And at the same time, I’m home with Ryland and we had our own special weekend. We, you know, wrote on the whiteboard, here’s all the things we wanna do and we wanna schedule all these things out. Anytime you can write a list on a whiteboard for my youngest, she’s all about it.

John Azoni [00:06:27]:
She loves to just like have a checklist, have a plan. So one-on-one time is something completely different that you just cannot replace.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:33]:
Now you talked a little bit about on that trip to Tokyo, giving your daughter some independence to be able to make some decisions and things like that. And, and as our kids are getting older, we definitely have to do that. How are you finding that you’re balancing not only guiding your daughters, but also giving them the independence to grow into the people that they’re becoming?

John Azoni [00:06:52]:
Oh, that’s a tough question. I try to lean into who are they and what is, what is my role in this? Like one of the things that I learned about Ellie on that Japan trip is how scrappy she is. And it’s so different for me. Like she has no problem going up and asking a stranger where to get directions. Or one time we were on the bus going somewhere in Tokyo and some lady was lost. And for some reason my daughter stepped in and starts trying to tell her where to go as if she knows where to go. I’m like, Ellie, where do you think you’re sending her? She just wants to get in there. And I’m just very like, I don’t like to be embarrassed.

John Azoni [00:07:27]:
I don’t like to ask for help. I’m a lot more shy, but she kind of lifts me up in that way. I really try to get on that level with her and also just try to let her be who she is and go out into the world and just talk to new people like her mom does. But I think it’s always a challenge where to step in. I think the biggest area that we are struggling with that right now is, is in faith. And I don’t know if you’re a person of faith, but when I got married, my wife and I were both devout Christians. And over the last 5 years, I’ve kind of deconstructed and my faith has evolved in a way— I wouldn’t say I’m not a believer, but I would say like I just have so many questions that I’m allowing myself to ask. And I’m engaging in these conversations with what I grew up believing versus what can be verified and things like that.

John Azoni [00:08:13]:
So I’m kind of down this more scientific path. My wife isn’t. How do we let our kids discover things on their own? And what do we teach them about the world? That’s been really hard because when you’re defining your parenthood around an entire ideology, like a religion, and that’s the lens that you’re giving your kids, and that’s the lens you’re told to give your kids, you’re instructed to teach them in this way. Well, now when you throw questions into the mix, mom and dad have different answers for what do you do? So I think we’ve kind of landed on. We want our kids to think independently. And when one of my kids has a tough question, I’ll say, well, here’s what I think. Here’s what I’m not sure about. Like, here’s what I have questions about.

John Azoni [00:08:55]:
Here’s what your mom thinks. And you can kind of make up your own decision. And that was also never more true in, you know, this most recent election. You know, my oldest had a lot of questions about who was running for president, who was the good guy, and who was the bad guy. And it’s easy to want to pick a side and train your kid on that side. But we really tried to just step back and be like, well, Well, here’s what this side says. Here’s what that side says. What do you think? And so that’s kind of where we’ve landed, I think, giving them some scaffolding, but letting them kind of figure it out themselves.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:26]:
And as you’ve been starting to do that with your daughters, especially around this faith journey, what has their response been?

John Azoni [00:09:33]:
It’s tough because they knew me when we were all praying every night and putting them to bed and going to church all the time and, you know, all this stuff. And so they’ve seen me kind of drift and ask these questions that they look at me as I’m supposed to have the answers To these, you’re supposed to know if if Adam and Eve are real people or not. And so that’s been tough. You know, their response has been honestly one of confusion. I wish I had a glossy answer for you. It’s not gone great. It’s very tough to navigate. And like I said, you know, we just go back to like here’s what two different people can think, and we can hold two different things in tension.

John Azoni [00:10:11]:
And certainly the Bible, there are a lot of instances where the Bible is represented as God holding two. seemingly opposing things in tension together and somehow making it work. So we kind of go with that. But yeah, I wish I could tell you that it’s gone. It’s just been perfect. And they’re— they have all the answers that I don’t have. But anytime you’re trying to sort through something on your own and your kid’s looking to you for the answer, that’s just a tough position to be in.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:36]:
It is a tough place to be because, I mean, you try to have that solid front on everything in parenting because when you don’t have the solid front, then things tend to go awry. So I think what you’re hearing here, though, is that John and his wife still have a solid front, but they’re attacking it in different ways. And they’re providing their kids the ability to be able to move in the direction that makes more sense for them. That doesn’t mean that they’re not in alignment on other things in their parenting journey, though.

John Azoni [00:11:07]:
Yeah, I would liken it to, like, giving them— I mentioned the term scaffolding, and I really like that term. And I would just say, So we’ve just really widened the scaffolding around faith to where we’re still in this box. But what that looks like on a day-to-day basis or on an individual beliefs basis can look different. And 2 people can arrive at different conclusions and still have the same heart.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:31]:
So as you think about your daughters and you think about what you’ve been doing with your daughters, what are some intentional ways that you have worked to strengthen your bond with your daughters, especially during times that might be more challenging?

John Azoni [00:11:43]:
COVID was a time of obviously being sort of forced into this intentional time. And at first it was very stressful because at the time I had a salaried job and a certain amount of PTO days and I’m a rule follower. So if I say I’m working, but I’m off at the park with the kids, like I don’t, I don’t feel good about that. But like there was all this stuff that you had to do from out of necessity during that time. So it was a stressful time, but it also kind of caused me to be like, let’s really soak this up. And so we did a lot of stuff together as a family, but that actually led me to leave that job. and start my own company, my own video production company. And for a big reason was to be more flexible with them and to be able to be home with them and be there when they need me and not have to worry about PTO.

John Azoni [00:12:28]:
And so that’s opened the doors to a lot of great times where I might be right in the middle of a busy project and I would get a call from the school. And my oldest, Ellie, she was the one that would call home a lot. She would feel a stomachache or something and she’d feel like she needed to go home. And we would have to navigate like a lot of times, like, what is the line that Where Dad will pick you up and where you need to tough it out. But there’s a lot of times where I could have been really stressed about work, but I had to just really be like, you know what, I’m just— I’m gonna go pick her up. I’m gonna be happy about it. I’m gonna have a smile on my face. I’m gonna make her feel like Dad wants to be here.

John Azoni [00:13:01]:
Dad cares about me. He’s not annoyed with me. You know, I think just those small acts have been great. And I remember, you know, other times too, just a lot of our special times revolve around food.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:12]:
Yeah.

John Azoni [00:13:13]:
It seems like every Thursday, a number of years ago when Ellie was in preschool, she would have a half day. And so I’d pick her up and every Thursday we’d go get wonton soup on the way home at this Chinese restaurant. And we learned— Dad stepped out of his comfort zone and learned the owner of the restaurant’s name so that when we called, we can say, hey, Lynn, our usual. She wanted that. Like, that would just be so cool. And so eventually she started calling and being like, hi, Lynn, it’s Ellie, just our usual. And then we’d go pick it up. But we cook a lot together too.

John Azoni [00:13:42]:
My daughters each really enjoy cooking and no matter what we’re making, just spending time together. And that’s where I think one-on-one time is really important because trying to cook with both of them at the same time is just a constant referee of who got to chop what, who got to pour this, who cracked the last egg, you know. So I found just one at a time, we’ll have a great time together, but let’s just, you know. So yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of opportunities, but I think it’s a lot in those small moments where it’s like my natural reaction might be to be stressed or just to be worried about the day-to-day. stuff, but like my daughters are looking to me as like, am I liked? Like, am I loved in this moment? Am I safe in this moment? Does my dad want to be here? And I really try to, to just put on a smile and just be like, you know what, this— because one of the things I say, I started saying since I started my own business was my business is in service of my kids, not in spite of them. And that’s a tough thing to, to stick to because whether or not something gets done has a very real consequences about whether, whether income comes in the door. But, but the reason why I— half the reason I started my own company was to be there for my kids and to not miss this time with them. And so, so yeah, that’s kind of how I think about work and spending time with them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:01]:
All of us as dads, we’re not perfect. We make mistakes. And while we try our best to be the best we can, we’re going to make mistakes. We’re fallible. We’re humans. What’s a mistake that you made as a father? And what did What did it do, or what did you learn from it about fostering positive communication and connection with your daughters?

John Azoni [00:15:20]:
I think it’s a pattern of mistakes. And when I get overstimulated, when there’s too many people talking to me at once, I get immediate, like 0 to 100 stressed out. And that’s— I’m so likely to just lash out and like snap and say something, tell them to be quiet, but in a rude way that we’re not allowed to say. So that’s where it’s such a tension of like, because they’re both in the back talking like peak back-talking phase. And honestly, my youngest is the most cutting about it. I mean, she will just go right for the jugular. And they talk back usually as a reaction and not as a response, like not as an intentional response. So when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed and I lash out, I’m not doing any service to them.

John Azoni [00:16:06]:
It’s very hypocritical to tell them that’s not how we talk to people. And then just in a, in a different way or a different use of words, I do the same thing. So I think that’s— I think we’re all learning together. How to regulate ourselves. My wife is a therapist, and so we’ve learned a lot about the concept of regulation, and we’ve read a lot of parenting books about when your kids make you mad or something, or they say something completely disrespectful, they’re dysregulated. They’re not really choosing that response. And so your job as a parent is to be the one that regulates, not escalates. And so that’s— that is the toughest thing for me, like— I have to really think I’m feeling myself escalating this situation and I need to be the, I need to be the regulator.

John Azoni [00:16:50]:
So I don’t know if that answers your question, but that’s just a slurry of thoughts of, of communication between me and my kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:58]:
No, I appreciate you sharing that because I think it is important to understand that that happens. I mean, and we’re going to, things are going to adjust and, you know, and all of us get overwhelmed at times. And especially these days, there’s so many things being thrown at every one of us. And whether it’s technology, whether it’s, you know, whatever, there are so many things that are being thrown at each one of us, not only us, but our kids, etc. So it is important to know that. And then finding ways to be able to quiet the noise, not only for ourselves, but quiet the noise for our kids, I think is also important as we think about our— the way in which we’re fathering. Because if we know— if you know that you’re triggered when that happens, you have to figure out for yourself, and you’ve probably already done that, is What can you do to quiet the noise so that you can continue being present and continue, continue being who you want to be with your daughters?

John Azoni [00:17:51]:
Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:52]:
So there’s been a lot of things that you’ve talked about where you’re showing that you’re doing some intentional things to really connect with your daughters. What do you do intentionally to make your daughters feel valued and heard?

John Azoni [00:18:04]:
I think it’s just trying to get on their level and care about the things that they care about. My youngest, it’s always was so funny, and we, my wife and I laugh about this. We would pick her up from daycare when she was younger, you know, 3, 4 years old. And that could be a very stressful moment because we’re also picking up my oldest from daycare and she’s wanting to do something. Can we go out for ice cream? Or when’s mom going to be home? Blah, blah, blah. And again, too many people talking to me at once. And my youngest, all she wants to do in that moment is show me the drawings that she made and show me the little worksheets that she did. And it’s so important to her.

John Azoni [00:18:38]:
And she feels, you can just see the receiving of love when you look at her and you care about what she wrote, that she wrote her name or that she did something, that she wrote, she counted to 10 or whatever it is. And so, I mean, we have stacks and stacks of paper because that behavior has never stopped. She’s almost 9 and she still to this day wants to show us everything. She went to this art camp a couple weeks ago, made all kinds of art. And the first thing she wants to do when we get in the car is like, Dad, let me show you what I made. And it’s so important that I give her my full attention. And I can get on board with that because I’m— my background’s in fine arts. I’m a painter.

John Azoni [00:19:14]:
So I went to art school and all that stuff. So that’s a perfect thing for me to like get on board with. I think just, yeah, finding in those moments, what are they really trying to say right now? What they’re really trying to say is, Dad, I want to connect with you. Not like, not necessarily about the papers or the drawings or whatever. And I find that with my oldest too. She’s starting to outgrow like bedtime, but she still wants me to put her to bed. And, you know, and I’m kind of just like clinging to that for as long as possible. And we just have the best talks.

John Azoni [00:19:43]:
Like, there’s just no greater conversation than when we’re just— I’m just laying in her bed with her next to her and we’re just, just talking about whatever, just laughing about things. I mean, so much laughter happens in those moments. And I listen when I’m putting my other daughter to bed, my wife’s putting Ellie to bed, I hear them cracking up too because they just get into the funniest, you know, they just become a new person. They feel so safe. And so I think just being intentional about those moments, because sometimes I’m like, I’m tired, it’s 9:30, I got to get up at 5 in the morning. I don’t want to spend a half an hour, you know, laying, laying with you and waiting for you to brush your teeth and waiting for you to put your pajamas on. And it’s getting towards 10 o’clock now. And so I try, but I try to really push that aside and say, hey, she’s, she’s not going to ask me to do this for much longer.

John Azoni [00:20:29]:
And in 5 years, I’m going to miss any, any attention she gave me, like her wanting to actually hang out with me, because it’s going to be the other way around. So, so I think it’s just, I think it’s just recognizing in those moments what’s really most important and then just leaning into that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:45]:
Now, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our Dad Connection 6. 6 more questions to delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:52]:
Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:53]:
What’s one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:56]:
Humor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:57]:
What’s the best piece of dad advice that you ever received?

John Azoni [00:21:02]:
It’s probably from when you’re walking around a grocery store and you get like a whole stream of like elderly men that will say, I remember when my daughter was that age and then she started driving the next day. Like, don’t miss it. I really actually took advice to heart, like what I just said. I’m like, there’s gonna be a time when they’re not gonna want to hang out with me, so don’t miss it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:20]:
What’s one activity you and your daughters love doing together?

John Azoni [00:21:24]:
Cooking.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:25]:
If you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

John Azoni [00:21:30]:
I think just don’t change for other people. Don’t be the person that you’re with. I think like maybe girls especially start dating and things like that, they want to change to be liked and to impress and things like that. And so I think my advice would just be to just be yourself and be What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a dad? I have learned, I have learned that I make a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned to be okay with that. I just want my kids to grow up and know that their dad was crazy about them. And for all my flaws, I want them to— I watched this video one time. It was my boss’s. We did a story on my boss at the time at my old job, his family.

John Azoni [00:22:11]:
And we interviewed his wife and they were talking about her parents and they asked her, what’s your favorite thing about your dad? And she said, said how much he loves me. And she started crying. And I edited that video. So of course, I’m like, I’m like tearing up and like, you know, you got the music going and stuff like that in the edit, in the video edit. So, but I’ve always kept that with me as like, that’s like my mantra as a dad. Like, I’m gonna mess up, but like, I want my kids to, to really feel and be imprinted with how like crazy I am about them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:39]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

John Azoni [00:22:48]:
I think it’s just being really intentional with them. I think for me, I just think about, it’s like we have 18 years if we’re lucky, and I want to build as many memories with them as possible. And I don’t want to waste this being stressed about stuff that’s just not going to matter in 50 years. And so, and I think about it the same way of like marriage advice. People contrast the saying of the grass is greener on the other side. side with, with saying the grass is greener where you water it. And I like that about marriage. And that’s something that I keep in my mind.

John Azoni [00:23:20]:
But I also think that that applies to kids too. I mean, the type of relationship that you’re going to have with your kids now and when they’re older is determined by how intentional you are in these early years and just watering that grass.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:34]:
Well, John, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here today, for sharing what you shared with the journey that you’ve gone through. If people want to find out more about you, I know you got a podcast. Is there a place that people can go to find out more?

John Azoni [00:23:46]:
Yeah, I’m very active on LinkedIn. My name’s spelled J-O-H-N-A-Z-O-N-I if you’re searching for me. That’s probably where I hang out the most, on LinkedIn. I don’t post a whole lot of family stuff, but once in a while you might get some sort of business advice through the lens of being a dad to 2 girls.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:00]:
Well, again, John, thank you so much for being here, and I wish you all the best.

John Azoni [00:24:03]:
Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:03]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:24:34]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals, we buy them presents. So bring your A-game, ’cause those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, Carpenters and muscle men, get out and be in the world too now. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.

Fostering Creativity and Wonder: Gianna Davy’s Guide for Dads and Daughters

May 5, 2025 by dadofdivas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In the latest episode of “The Dad and Daughter Connection,” Dr. Christopher Lewis invites Gianna Davy to share her insights on nurturing curiosity in children and the profound impact it can have on the father-daughter bond. Gianna, a lifelong artist, educator, and author, delves into her own experiences growing up and how her father’s support shaped her journey.

The episode kicks off with Dr. Lewis reminding listeners of the podcast’s mission: to help fathers build stronger relationships with their daughters. Every week, he brings on guests who share real stories and practical advice to inspire dads on their journey of fatherhood.

This week, Gianna Davy steps into the spotlight to talk about her new children’s book, “How Do I Wonder?” and the role of curiosity in a child’s development. Gianna reflects on her relationship with her dad, who was instrumental in fostering her inquisitive nature. He nurtured her artistic side by teaching her to see the world through an artist’s lens, turning everyday experiences into moments of wonder.

Gianna emphasizes the importance of authenticity in the parent-child relationship. She shares how her father’s playful spirit and transparency allowed her to see him as a real person, not just a parent. This authenticity, she argues, is key to building lasting and meaningful bonds.

The conversation also touches on the challenges today’s parents face in a fast-paced, technology-driven world. Gianna encourages fathers to embrace moments of wonder and not shy away from admitting when they don’t have all the answers. By modeling curiosity and open-mindedness, dads can encourage their daughters to explore the world with an inquisitive spirit.

Listeners will find inspiration in Gianna’s stories and advice, particularly on how simple, everyday activities can cultivate creativity and connection. From going on nature hikes to engaging in thoughtful discussions sparked by her book, fathers can find numerous ways to engage with their daughters meaningfully.

“How Do I Wonder?” is not just a book; it’s a tool for transformation. It invites readers to ponder the unanswerable and explore the boundless potential of their imaginations. Gianna hopes her book will inspire parents and children to forge stronger emotional connections through shared curiosity.

Tune into the full episode to explore these themes and more, and discover how to be the dad your daughter truly needs. Whether you’re seeking practical tips or a fresh perspective on parenting, this episode offers invaluable insights that every father can learn from. Be sure to listen and join the community of dads committed to raising confident, independent individuals.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and daughter connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]:
If you’re looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you’re in the right place. I’m doctor Christopher Lewis, and the dad and daughter connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we’ll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let’s get started. Because being a great dad isn’t just about being there, it’s about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and daughter connection, where every week we have an opportunity to be able to connect together, to work together, to be able to build those strong relationships, those connections that you want to have with your own daughter. And I love being able to come back every week and have these conversations with you, to walk alongside you. As a father of two myself, there have definitely been times where you’d want those stronger connections and you want those stronger relationships.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:19]:
And sometimes you make mistakes, but you grow, you build from those opportunities, those experiences that you’ve had. And that’s why every week I love being able to bring you different people, different guests with different experiences that can share some of the experiences that they’ve had in their life or resources that they have that can help you to build that stronger connection with your own daughter. Today we’ve got another great guest. Gianna Davey is joining us. And Gianna is a lifelong dancer, artist, and educator whose career spans performance, teaching, and creative pursuits, lives out in California, and has a brand new book that is called How Do I Wonder? And I’ll tell you, I had an opportunity to read the book and it’s a wonderful book that really delves into allowing your kids to see the world from a very unique perspective and embrace curiosity, which is so important in working with our young kids, but also encouraging our older kids to keep being curious about the world around us. So we’re gonna talk about her own experience as a daughter herself, but we’re also going to talk about her new book. And I’m really excited to have her here. Gianna, thanks so much for being here today.

Gianna Davy [00:02:32]:
Thank you so much for having me. It’s an honor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:34]:
Well, I’m really excited to have you here today and to be able to delve a little bit deeper into you as an author, but also you talk about your own relationship with your own father. And I guess as we think about your relationship with your own father, tell me what’s one thing that your father did that made you truly feel seen, heard, and valued as a daughter?

Gianna Davy [00:02:58]:
Oh, interesting question. I mean, there’s so many things, I think, that he did. But a little background on my dad first because I think that’s helpful to understand him as a person a little. He is an artist himself, kind of in the truest sense of the word. And in that he I mean, he did go to art school for college, but that’s really how he sees the world and experiences the world very much. And as an artist myself, I think there was a natural connection there. And so one way that he made me feel seen, I think, is just acknowledging that as a kid, as I was growing up and never pushing it, never forcing me into anything, but just seeing what I enjoyed to do. And then I think he actually really enjoyed meeting me on that wavelength.

Gianna Davy [00:03:48]:
And

Musical Outro Performer [00:03:49]:
he’s

Gianna Davy [00:03:49]:
a very playful person and still continues to play, honestly. And so I think meeting me on that wavelength and teaching me what he knows from there. Like, I mean, my dad taught me how to draw as a kid. I think he saw that I liked to draw. And, I mean, he he has so many amazing paintings that he’s made over the years. So he really and it’s a beautiful lesson, I think, when you mirror learning to draw specifically, but also with learning to see the world around you. Because when you are taught how to draw something very clearly, and he was very specific about it, but he’s really teaching me how to see everything in a different way. And I couldn’t help but apply that.

Gianna Davy [00:04:28]:
I mean, I still think about that forever and ever. When he first was teaching me how to draw a face and some hands and he was saying, you know, they’re the hardest things to draw because they’re the things that people see the most of. And they’re very unique and they’re very personal. And so and, like, from then on, it’s like you can’t look at a face or hands without, like, noticing, like, the shadows here and there. And it just it’s this art of noticing out in the world and seeing everything around you in through the lens of a photographer or a painter or whatever that I think I value so much. And I really just appreciate that he saw that in me as a kid and just sort of allowed me to play around with it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:05]:
Now in what you just said, it seems like there was a number of moments that really helped you to not only become the artist that you are today, that your father helped to shepherd you in that direction. But as you think back to the experiences that you’ve had with your dad, was there any other specific moments where your dad’s support or guidance really had a significant impact on your growth or confidence?

Gianna Davy [00:05:29]:
Well, a specific moment. I mean, it’s almost like there’s so many. I feel very grateful. I’m such a lucky human to not even be able to think of one moment at this time. I’m an only child also. I feel like I should mention. So I have a super it’s like a heightened relationship with your parents in that respect. And so in terms of one, I mean, they really have supported everything that I have done wholeheartedly and not in a pushy way in any way.

Gianna Davy [00:05:57]:
They see who I am and are like, how can I help?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:01]:
Are there any things that you wish that your dad would have done differently when it came to building the relationship that you have together?

Gianna Davy [00:06:10]:
Yeah. Okay. So, and I’m a parent myself too, so it’s always interesting to think about these things, like, when you’re in the middle of the stage. So I’m gonna get to my point, but I’m gonna tell a story first. So I don’t know if you have ever heard of the festival Burning Man. So I’ve gone many times. It’s a really incredible place to be with art and whatnot, and the engineering and whatnot in all of the sculptures that are there, incredible. And I went, and I came back, and I was like, dad, you have got to go to this place.

Gianna Davy [00:06:40]:
You will be your mind will be blown with the incredible art that’s there. So he came with me the second year, which was a huge bonding experience for us because it’s it was just the two of us, and it was like a nine hour drive there and an entire week there with my best childhood friend and who brought her mom too. So, anyway, the whole week and then the whole drive back, and I feel like I was probably 23 or 24 or something. The drive there was one experience. The drive back was another because we had spent this entire week together in an environment we had never been. All this to say is that in the drive back, he started telling me all of these stories about him when he was around my age at that time that were stories I had never heard before. And it was the most wonderful thing to get this insight into who he actually is and was in the world as a real human, because I think that it’s so often parents are almost like protecting everything that you’re supposed to do all the time. But the reality is we are all perfectly imperfect humans, and I think it was a huge moment for me to just hear all of this background about him when he was a teenager and a young person.

Gianna Davy [00:07:59]:
And it made me see him, and it made us bond so much more than we had. So if there’s one thing that I kind of wish that I could change, I wouldn’t even change it, but it’s just that we had more of that earlier on and continue more of it even now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:17]:
Now this strong relationship that you have with your own father, how has it influenced the way that you navigate life, relationships, or challenges today?

Gianna Davy [00:08:26]:
Like I mentioned earlier, he is an incredibly playful person still to at this point, and I am eternally grateful for how he plays with my own kids. And so I think that alone is and I think my cousin said it really well when we were kids once. He said, you know, your dad is, like, one of the cousins. Like, he would just be the one that was playing with all of us in the pool when we were having family gatherings. So I think my takeaway from him and how it’s influenced me is never stop that young at heart feeling and interaction with the world because your relationships can really fizzle if you kind of stop being alive to everything around you. And and he really models that for me. So I’m very grateful for that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:09]:
What’s something that your dad has taught you that’s made a big impact on your life?

Gianna Davy [00:09:16]:
That anything is musical instrument. No. I mean, that’s my silly answer, but that’s a huge question. Well, circling back to I think I kind of already touched upon this in the first question you answered, but he really has taught me how to see the world differently. Like I said, he went to art school. His career and profession, he was a videographer and a photographer, but he had paintings in a museum, and he pretty much can play any instrument that you can imagine. But every movie we’ve ever watched, for example, he would always be sitting there and going, now do you see that camera angle, or do you notice that this shot hasn’t completely like, has been one shot and never cut? Like, he just is always seeing things differently than I would have thought to see. And that inevitably, like and like I said, it applies to, like, the everything’s a musical instrument.

Gianna Davy [00:10:05]:
He can interact with the world differently than anybody I’ve ever noticed. And so I think that’s what he’s really taught me, that there’s not really any one way that things are supposed to be. And I think there’s so much intelligence captured in creativity, and it’s often not valued as much as I think it should be. And I think that we need to have all the different perspectives, and having somebody that’s always accidentally showing you a different way of seeing things is incredibly valuable. So

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:38]:
Now if you could spend an entire day with your dad doing anything, what would it look like?

Gianna Davy [00:10:42]:
Gosh. It’s been so long since I get so caught up in life. Holy moly. I think we would probably go on a hike together. As a kid, I we pretty much everything we did as a family was camping. That was that was it. So, I mean, I just have so many good memories out in nature, which is another just wonderful way to cultivate, like, super healthy relationships in my opinion, because nature is just it’s the it’s the ultimate sort of end zone and home base for everyone, whether we have a chance to really connect with it or not all the time. So I think I’d wanna just go on a really super long hike and maybe just take a bunch of pictures, bring our cameras and just take pictures of things, of beautiful things.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:24]:
What advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Gianna Davy [00:11:31]:
My advice is don’t be afraid to let your daughters know who you really are as a real person. I think authenticity is extremely valuable when it comes to cultivating a real relationship. You can’t be best friends with somebody if you’re not willing to let them really know who you are or to present an authentic version of yourself. You know, you think about who you’re absolutely best friends with. They know all the parts of you, the good parts, the bad parts, everything. So I think it’s a very difficult thing to do, but that has to carry through with parent child, father daughter, etcetera, relationships as well. You can’t have a true relationship with somebody while also being a little bit fake or presenting a version of yourself that isn’t truly authentic. And so I think don’t be afraid to be real with your kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:31]:
Now I mentioned that you’ve got a new book that’s out. How do I wonder? And I would love to hear your origin story. I’d love for you to share the inspiration behind the book and why you feel that curiosity is such an important theme for you to explore.

Gianna Davy [00:12:49]:
Yeah. Well, I wanna be clear. It’s a children’s book also just so that everybody can envision it a little bit more in their head. So the inspiration was 100% my own kids. I have two boys, so I have a mother son relationship, which is different. So as they were growing up, they’re nine and 12 now. So when they were little, little, you know, as they just started waking up to the world and speaking, they would ask me just the most incredible questions and, like, mind blowing questions that I was like, how have I never even thought of this? Like, year three. And I just would write them down and write them down because they were so amazing.

Gianna Davy [00:13:25]:
And so there was this sort of, for years, like, brewing this book that I didn’t even know what it was gonna be. But really when it came down to it and I started writing it, it’s one of those things that it writes itself in the end. And really it’s about 100% about just exploring the world around you, the power and magic behind creativity. And I think creativity, like I said earlier, is really, like, the base for all intellectual pursuits as well. I think the most intelligent and incredible genius people are the people that are willing to think outside the box. And and I’m trying to create a book that doesn’t just tell kids go outside and think thoughts or whatever, but actually makes them think thoughts in the process. And the questions that are in this book, it’s sort of a book of questions. It’s got a bit of a story, a little bit of an adventure line.

Gianna Davy [00:14:17]:
But all of the questions that are in the book, I was very careful to make them sort of unanswerable per se in the sense that there’s not really one right or wrong answer. They’re all just meant to be sort of pondered and thought about. Like, one of them was one that my son had sent, and it was, did dinosaurs know how to smile? He just turned to me and was like, did dinosaurs know how to smile? And I was like, I guess we don’t know. We never really will. So something to think about. So, anyway, that’s the gist of the book is really just trying to cultivate and inspire kids to really think about things in a different way and interact with their world in a different way and just value who they are and the power of their own beautiful minds and how you really don’t even need any toys or anything. You can just go outside and interact with nature and the world and just build up your brain in the most incredible way.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:08]:
In building up your brain in in really the in the book itself, I guess as I read the book, I kind of had a question of when I think about fathers and the role that they play, what role do you feel that fathers can play in encouraging curiosity and wonder in their own kids, especially with their daughters?

Gianna Davy [00:15:27]:
I think modeling it. I think you have to not be afraid to be a curious person yourself and continue to question things around you. It’s okay to not know the answer to something also. It’s okay to look at something and be like, gee, I wonder why it’s like that or just seeing something and noticing something and drawing attention to your kiddo. Yeah. But I think it’s really, you know, it’s not about always knowing the answer. It’s sometimes just about exploring the possibilities.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:57]:
I love that. Now, in the book itself, you are encouraging kids to ask those open ended questions. What advice would you give to dads who want to nurture their daughter’s natural curiosity?

Gianna Davy [00:16:10]:
Go outside and interact with the outside world as much as possible. But, you know, I realize it’s not always possible to just be on some grand adventure out in the woods or nature or anything. But any place whose purpose is to sort of play and be creative, but I don’t necessarily wanna say go and, you know, there’s, like, arcades and things like that where you can go and and play. But that’s not really that’s that’s a very defined kind of play that has one purpose and one end zone. So open ended experiences is where there’s no one version of what you’re supposed to be doing. That’s what I recommend, especially for younger kids.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:56]:
Now, as you said, your book has a number of prompts or open ended things for people to think about. How do you think that fathers can use this book as a tool to spark meaningful conversations with their kids?

Gianna Davy [00:17:10]:
Well, I hope that the whole book, the whole time people are reading it, meaningful conversations are being sparked automatically. I think don’t rush through the book. As you’re reading it, as there’s a question, ask your child, ask your daughter, what do you think the answer to that question is? And then say, like, what your answer is and ask someone else and compare and be in awe of how many different versions there even could possibly be. It’s a total conversation starter. Read the book once and then just go through again and just think about the questions, you know? Yeah. That’s my recommendation.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:43]:
As your kids get older, they see the world in different ways. It is a fast paced world, and with technology being what it is, there’s answers that are only a click away. How can dads teach their daughters to embrace the joy of wondering instead of always seeking immediate answers?

Gianna Davy [00:18:06]:
Oh, gosh. Yeah. That’s such a tough one because I think we are all so guilty of the, oh, let’s just Google it. It is part of the culture of today, 100%. And it’s a really hard ask for parents these days who are so typically overwhelmed and overworked to not just revert to the technology all the time for everybody’s sort of quick fix, save the moment situation. But one thing I will say is that if and or you know, as much as you possibly can, try to not fall back on the quick fix answer technology, iPad, cell phone, whatever, etcetera, etcetera, it really pays off in the long run. And so it’s like one of those things where you just put a little bit more effort in the beginning for greater gain at the end is if it’s at all possible. But I’m saying this with huge empathy of everyone’s state as a parent in the world and how difficult that can be.

Gianna Davy [00:19:08]:
But I’ll just say with my kids, like we really tried to hold off on that constant, yeah, just relying on the Internet and whatnot. And they’re still very curious, I will say. I’m very happy about that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:22]:
Now as you said, this book is geared toward young readers. What impact do you hope that this book has on the next generation next generation of young readers?

Gianna Davy [00:19:32]:
Well, I just hope it gives them something to think about and sparks all those little neurons in their brain to, like, find new pathways. I think, you know, you have to be able to envision something that isn’t even right in front of you to really be a creator or an innovator or an inventor or anything in this world. You can’t only just stick with the things that are right in front of you. So I’m really hoping that just it only takes just a couple of inspirational moments. I mean, I think we’ve all had those moments in life when you just something clicks and you just see something a little different differently than you than you had. And it just shows you, oh, there’s all these different layers to life and to the world. It’s not only this one layer, this one texture, this one color. So I think if I could just give just that little bit of inspiration to somebody where they just are sort of pushed ahead into a new realm of thinking, that would be the ultimate joy for me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:28]:
Now we’re definitely encouraging all of you to go out, grab this book because of all of the prompts that are in there. Now, Gianna, are there specific activities or follow-up discussions that you recommend for fathers and daughters after reading the book together?

Gianna Davy [00:20:44]:
Like I said, I really I’m just hoping that that it’s not just a read it through and end there kind of situation. I really hope that it becomes an open book on the coffee table and and a discussion that continues at the dinner table, comparing ideas, and it just can’t end with the last page.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:04]:
Now if people are interested in learning more about the book and how they can connect with you more on insights into fostering curiosity in kids, where’s the best place for them to go?

Gianna Davy [00:21:14]:
Well, they can go to my website, which is giannadavey.com, or I have an Instagram page as well that’s named after my first book, actually, which was called No One Owns the Colors. So which is yeah. It’s another book that I wrote. But you can find the easiest would probably be jiannadavey.com because you could just Google my name, and then it has the information about both of the books that I’ve written and other sort of creative adventures I’m on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:40]:
And we’ll put links in the notes today. Gianna, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for sharing your story with the masses, with all of us today, sharing your story with your own father and what he did to be able to inspire that curiosity in yourself, and I truly wish you all the best.

Gianna Davy [00:21:56]:
Thank you so much for having me. This This was absolutely lovely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:59]:
That’s a wrap for this episode of the dad and daughter connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don’t forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:30]:
We’re all in the same boat. And it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast.

Musical Outro Performer [00:23:05]:
Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and muscle men. Get out and be the the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best dad you can be.