Over at 21st Century Dad there are some good points on what the challenges are for a dad these days. After reading his post I have to agree that though there are many challenges for a mom…as a Dad there are also many challenges that one may or may not think of…
I especially can relate to the fact that as a working dad, and one that has a job that has a demanding schedule…I have to continually make decisions on whether I will do things that will further my career or do things that maintain or build my relationships with my family at home.
These decisions are not always easy and are many times not in concert with one another…but they have to be made. I always try my best to balance the two…but find that I tend to put more time into work. Even to the extent of checking in on email when I am on vacation…I know, I know…work-a-holic…that is what my wife would say… I guess she is somewhat right…I do put a lot into work…but I feel that this is what brings good results to what I do as well, so I am in a bit of a quandary to this as I truly want to be a good husband and father but at the same time, I feel the need to be successful and thrive within my work.
This is at the crux of the challenge of working fatherhood…and I guess I would say working motherhood…how to balance both without sacrificing one (if this is possible).
What have you done to balance this? Have you been successful at your attempts? What other advice do you have for others struggling with this balance issue?
Chris, this is a great post and a great question. I think that in the past the key for me is to keep the top priority at the top. It’s like filling a jar with large large rocks, pebbles, and sand. If you start with sand it won’t all fit. But, if you begin with the large rocks everything works.
So, for me it’s been a necessity with my family and kids to keep faith, family, and then work, in that order. In those weeks where this is true all is good. When it’s out of whack everything seems to be.
Chris, enjoyed reading your blog. Will be coming back to read more, I’m sure. –Charity
To me, balance is a moving target.
I realized a few weeks ago that it is nearly impossible to attain total balance. The goal (realistically) is to move myself as close to balance as possible, or to simply keep the “needle” from pushing too far from center.
I work a 45 hour week and travel 1.5 hours a day. So, I totally understand your dilemma. What gives is the stuff around the house that needs working on. The bathroom sink, the slope on the side of the house, painting the fence before it rots.
I have also pretty much abandoned exercise & meditation, which is crucial to my overall well being. It is a struggle to get back to it, even though I know it is so important.
Every choice to play with the kids means some of this stuff isn’t getting done. But you know what? When they’re thirty, I want them to have some fond memories of ME, not the pretty painted fence. So if it rots, it rots. Am I happy about it? No. But I’m already very dismayed to be away from my kids so much.