Daddy, do I look pretty? I mean what else can you say to this question, but yes! I think the first time any father gets this type of question they are probably as shocked as I was, as any parent thinks that their children are the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, right? If a father does not believe this then they need to truly think to consider for themselves what kind of father they are or that they want to be.
I believe that all fathers should be their daughters’ most staunch advocate. It is not for a father to criticize or demean a child in any way. In fact in my opinion, fathers who do this are not being fathers at all, they are instead being bullies which should not be father material!
A daughters’ self-esteem is so much intertwined with their relationship with their fathers, for better or worse. A daughter looks at their father for him to be the man that they want to support, uphold and encourage them from early age on. A father also sets the standard for relationships that they have in the future, and how the father treats them as well as how they treat their wife will make a HUGE impact on their emotional well-being that will stay with them for years to come.
Too often today our society shares such mixed messages with our daughters in regards to beauty. When they watch television (even from a young age) they are seeing main characters that look and act a certain way. This unconsciously teaches our daughters so much about how they should act, dress and treat others. The hard thing is that so much of what they are learning is not what parents want them to learn. I know that for me, as a father, I want my daughters to feel confident about themselves no matter how they look. Whether they look like what they see on television is inconsequential to me. What is more important is that they have the ability to be strong in their convictions and know that they are confident and comfortable with the person that they are and that no one else can ever change that.
This is not an easy task, but if you are a father of girls, I challenge you to set the example that you need to set and let your daughters know how pretty / beautiful they truly are both internally and externally as this is SO important to them in the long run!
Well, I for one am glad I NEVER got that question Chris. Could it possibly be ’cause I only have boys? Lol…
Yes, as an observer I believe dads give their daughters not only self-esteem but teach them what kind of man they deserve. A loving father/husband demonstrates what daughter deserve, too. That is yet another of the myriad reasons that absentee dads are so destructive for our kids.
Oh, and for what it’s worth, I will comment and SMILE BIG every time you use #DadChat in your headline! I’ll smile ever BIGGER when you show up! Do mark down April 12 for a VERY SPECIAL guest at #DadChat and our 1-year anniversary!
Great post. As a father of girls aged 3 and 15 I know how fragile and important their self-esteem is. Its an important thing to always keep in mind
Thanks so much. Yes, it is hard. Do you have any tips or suggestions for what has worked with you, especially seeing that you have a teenager?