My oldest started school four years ago and on her first day she came home excited and stated “I made a new friend.” As all of us remember, friends were those people who truly carried us through good and bad times.
Unfortunately, there also were those pseudo friends that you thought were your friends, but really had other motives. Since we have moved to our new home we have had to deal with these pseudo friends, as everyone is a “friend” to a five year old.
We have some neighborhood kids that tend to hang out near our house and Diva-J has always been drawn to enjoying playing with kids that are older than her more than kids her own age. Sometimes this is fine, while at other times she can get taken advantage of by these older kids.
There is one, as I call it, fair weather friend that tends to come around on some days and on other days will not give Diva-J the time of day. This same “friend” tends to come over when Diva-PJ is outside as she likes babies.
It is difficult to help Diva-J understand the difference between friendship and real friendship. She also does not always understand the underlying mean nature that sometimes is occurring around her, as when I address the issue, she defends these “friends.”
It is at these times when I am at a loss for words, as I want Diva-J to have friendships, but at what cost. This also leads back to an earlier post that I had about being able to let go. It also though goes into the idea of when do you step in and save your child from others. I tend to try and let Diva-J learn some things by herself, but there have been times when I knew that she was being taken advantage of where I stepped in and said enough is enough and set the record, and the child affronting my child, straight.
So how do you teach your son or daughter about who is a true friend and who are just going through the motions so that they are somewhat held harmless? What have all of you done in the past?
In looking into this I found a few links I thought I would share with you all!
- http://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-True-Friend
- http://www.life123.com/parenting/young-children/making-friends/how-to-spot-a-true-friend.shtml
- http://mums.bodyandsoul.com.au/kids+health/learning+development/teach+your+kids+to+be+good+friends,9185
- http://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/families/about-friendship/making-friends/helping-children-learning-positive-friendship-skills
- http://www.essentialkids.com.au/younger-kids/kids-development/teaching-your-child-to-be-a-good-friend-20130322-2gka4.html
Some questions you should ask yourself include:
- What has sustained your long-lasting friendships?
- Are their common traits/characteristics of these friendships and if so what are they?
- What concerns you about the friends that your child has?
As you begin to answer these questions you may find it necessary to revisit them over time as your answers and definitely the answers about your children will change as you all change and grow.
So today’s task is to answer the above questions. Second, make a list of things that you have done or will do to assist your child at understanding the value of friendships as well as helping them identify who their true friends actually are. Once complete, please come back and share your answers and thoughts with others.
If you are so inclined please leave your responses in a comment below or link to a blog post if you are going to commit to joining me on this journey so that others can learn from you as well. Good luck with day 29 and I look forward to your thoughts and comments!
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My friend has a son who is a few months older than my son (2yrs). They were having a play date at their house. My son was playing with a toy and this boy wanted it. His mom told him to take it from my son. How does one handle this?