Our 618th Dad in the Limelight is Rob Nomura of DaddyEd.com. I want to thank Rob Nomura for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Rob Nomura with all of you.
I’m a homeschooling father and editor of DaddyEd.com. A website about a father’s (me) point of view on home schooling, education, and liberty. I’m also the founder of WingChunLife.com, one of the world’s most well-known websites about Wing Chun kung fu. During the day I work as direct response copywriting and marketing consultant, RobertNomura.com, where I help business generate leads and drive new clients to their front door.
On my spare time I practice martial arts and recently got into Crossfit – a workout and physical training method. The result is that I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been. I can do pull-ups and handstand push-ups! I couldn’t do pull-ups as a kid. My cardio is better too, but I don’t enjoy running. Although, I don’t mind sprints or jumping over things.
2) Tell me about your family
There’re four of us and we like to travel and spend a lot of time together. I think this is easier while our kids are still young. Who knows what will happen when they enter their teenage years.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The largest challenges happened while my kids were babies and toddlers. I didn’t know how to be a father, I was nervous and unsure about the future, and was under a lot of stress. Now, I’m more experienced and my kids are older and more selfeliant. So, if they burn their hand on the stove I just say, “I told you so.” My current challenge, though, is hitting my financial stride. This is a personal issue because I really thought I’d be a multi-millionaire by now.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
If you’re new to it, enjoy your child while young. After the first 2 or 3 years, you feel a whole lifetime passed by. But then your first kid hits 10 and you’re caught by surprise, “where did all the time go?”
Then you think, “Shoot, he’ll be driving in 5 years; when we finish paying off the car!” If you’ve been at it a while and your kids are older and self-sufficient (but not adults), well, I don’t know what to do because that’s not where I’m at.
Currently, I find myself in a rush to transfer as much knowledge and experience to my kids before they grow up and fly the coop. I want to make sure their heads are on straight and don’t make needless mistakes. They’re old enough to absorb most of it, but there’s only so many hours in a day.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
Poorly, I’m afraid. And I’ve recently made this discovery.
We had kids before most of our close friends did. And when you have young kids, your social life as a single person or as a young couple quickly takes a nosedive. We were practically off the radar for a number of years.
On top of that, we both (mommy and daddy) work hard and relatively long hours; luckily we enjoy what we do.
So what happens is that we spend a ton of time together and going out together. It’s broken up with a few family visits, especially du
wring holidays or some long weekends, and even fewer visits with friends. Most of our friends live far away, or now have very young kids — so it’s their turn to drop off the radar.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
Spend more belly-to-belly time with my kids.
Most of the “older” fathers I’ve met spent a lot of their time away from their kids, usually at work, or sitting in traffic to and from work. And the kids are at school all day, and usually longer if they’re in after-school programs.
By design we’re together often. We homeschool, I work from home, and mommy works about 15 minutes away and has somewhat flexible hours. I think it’s been great, and healthy for us (mommy and daddy), to experience our kids grow up firsthand. For instance, we don’t have to learn who our kids are, or learn about their personalities through a written evaluation from school. I think it’s wrong when a schoolteacher knows your kids better than you do.
Also, I think it’s healthy for kids to have a close and personal relationship with their fathers. Dads are just different from moms. But this is something that may not be possible, or optimal, if dad leaves home at 6am and gets home at 6pm, 5 days a week. And then has client dinners where he comes home after 10pm, and of course business trips where he’s gone 2 to 5 days in a row, plus weekend work at the office.
Not all dads (or moms) have that kind of schedule, but I’ve met many who do.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
There’s no right way to be a good father. The good news is there are many ways to do it right.
Do the best you can, stay open to being better at it, and if you make a mistake say so and try to correct it or take steps to avoid making it again. You’ll save your kids from unneeded trauma later in life.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
It’s the small things, really.
- Watching my kids learn to walk and talk.
- Teaching them to ride a bike and swim.
- Listening to them laugh.
- Seeing how their personalities change as they get older.
- Seeing them do something on their own and thinking, “They’ll be okay even if I get hit by a bus tomorrow.”
If you have any questions for Rob Nomura, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!