Dads in the Limelight - Dad of Divas

Dads in the Limelight – Eric From The Modern Father

February 21, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 868th Dad in the Limelight is Eric from The Modern Father . I want to thank Eric for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Eric with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my
readers knowledge)

I became an expecting father in May 2015; 2 weeks after that I learned I was going to be the father of twins. Just before they turned 2, I started writing about my experiences as a dad. I felt that many of the resources I found were directed at mothers, and written from that viewpoint. It wasn’t something that offended me; fatherhood has stayed in a very narrow lane until the last couple of generations. That’s why I titled my site “The Modern Father” and started with an article about the differences between a traditional (Ward Cleaver) dad and the kind of dad I wanted to be.

In addition to the site, I co-host the Tangential Parenting podcast with my long-time friend Rachel.

And I also won a 2019 Oren Miller Scholarship for the Dad 2.0 Summit.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife, Jenny, is a middle school band teacher as well as a performer in a local concert band. We met in college, and after a lengthy and at-times bumpy courtship, we married. After 4 years of being married, enjoying life, and having money, we decided to have kids.

We have twin boys, who turned 3 just a few months ago. They are fraternal twins who have very different personalities and challenges. Experiencing both at the same time while they go through the same developmental milestones has been fun, interesting, and exhausting.

Oh, and I recently became a stay-at-home dad!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Something I have been more open about in the last year is that I have cystic fibrosis. As this has been a lifelong situation, it wasn’t a surprise it would be a factor in my life as a father. What I didn’t expect was how much it would impact things. If you know (or have known) people with CF, you’ll know there are a lot of pills, a lot of treatments, and a lot of infection control/avoidance. There is also a persistent understanding that things are always going downhill; all you can do is keep the grade as close to 0 as possible. I wasn’t ready for the challenge my health would have on my mental health and my decision-making when it came to the boys.

The other aspect was on the journey to fatherhood. Because of CF, we required some medical assistance to have kids. I will be writing some more about the added complexity of parenting while also maintaining health and health care regimens. I’m sure I’ll also have more to say about taking to your kids about such things as my boys get older.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Always remember kids are not small adults. They don’t have the wisdom or baggage that comes with age. They look to you for guidance, even if they won’t admit it, so modeling is a very impactful method of teaching.

At the same time, they are more resilient than you think; don’t beat yourself up for a bad day or week. Just because you love them doesn’t mean you like them all the time.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Honestly, this was an area of difficulty for the first three years, which is why I made the decision to become a stay-at-home dad. Between the commute, the time in the office, and the distraction when I was at home, I found myself a part-time father. So when my health decided to take a temporary turn for the worse, it made my decision easy: I jettisoned the full-time work and rededicated myself to my health and family.

In the meantime, I took up some creative hobbies that could turn into income-generating endeavors in the future. For now, I will just play around to stay sane while Nickelodeon plays in the background.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

This is an area of weakness for me, as I haven’t interacted with many. Most of my male friends have become fathers, but when we get together it’s to do anything but talk about parenting. That’s why I’m trying to become more active with my local chapter of City Dads Group and the National At-Home Dad Network.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Don’t be afraid to speak up. Whether it’s to your partner, your parents, your friends, or other dads, you aren’t alone. There are numerous resources out there. While you might feel like the only person who ever experienced your circumstances, there is probably someone out there who can relate. Even if it’s just to vent or blow off steam, there is a ton of value in talking.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far
as a parent?

Watching my boys become sentient beings. More specifically, the transition from a reactive, animal-like infant to a walking, talking, thinking human. There is something that seems miraculous about it, perhaps because there are so many moments where it seems like first stage won’t end. But then one morning, you hear them creating a story based on experiences, books, and events that is unique to them. Maybe because I like to be a storyteller, to see it happen in my boys was amazing. I’m not sure I’ll ever get tired of listening to them build on each other’s stories in a “Once Upon a Time…” fashion.

If you have any questions for Eric , please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight – David of Life with Benjamin

February 14, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 867th Dad in the Limelight is David of Life with Benjamin. I want to thank David for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing David with all of you.

1: Tell me about yourself

Hi, my name is David, or @life_with_benjamin on Instagram. My story as a father started during the Canadian economic downturn of 2015. At this time I was rudely canned from my job as a Geologist. My termination also coincided with the pregnancy and birth of my wife (Krista) and me’s first sob (Benjamin).

Around Benjamin’s first birthday, my wife went back to work, and I became a stay at home parent. This was also the time I started messing around with photography, to maintain my sanity.

It didn’t take long before I alienated myself from everyone by constantly trying to show him or her photos of Benjamin. I couldn’t even catch people off guard because anyone that owns a DSLR knows that these cameras aren’t exactly stealth. When you walk in the door with a suitcase, backpack, and computer people instinctually know you are going to try to show them photos.

So I went searching for a larger audience.

Enter Instagram, the largest photo sharing thingy out there. Instagram started as an outlet but has slowly grown over the past two years to the point that I’m now almost 1/1,000,000th as popular as Selena Gomez.

2: Tell me about your family

My wife and I met in school, both studying Geology. She currently works as a Geologist in Calgary. Our son, Benjamin, is almost 3 years old. We are expecting our second child at the end of March 2019, a baby girl.

3: What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Being a stay at home father has unique challenges. I have heard on a few occasions’ moms exchanging phone numbers and arranging separate play dates with their children. The reality is that, for me to attempt to arrange a one on one play date with another mom ultimately feels wrong. As harmless as it is, the questions that could arise from such a thing aren’t worth it.

So it can be isolating as a father, especially in a mom dominated world.

4: What advice would you give to other fathers?

Be involved when it comes to knowing the schedules, routines, and quirks of your children. I’ve seen older generations of fathers feel like outcasts because they can’t play the games right, or make dinner properly.

5: How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

This is definitely a struggle. Having children makes you feel like you are always shuffling priorities. However, for me, it comes down to scheduling. My wife and I share a calendar so this has helped a lot with making sure that I can play hockey, attend events, etc.

If it’s on the calendar, then I can see when we have things as a family, when my hockey games are, or when my wife has something to attend. My wife and I have always worked well together when it comes to planning schedules.

6: What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve really been amazed by the fact that most fathers seem envious that I get to stay home with Benjamin and do a little bit of freelance work.

Prior to talking to them, I thought most fathers had a more “traditional” view fatherhood. Similar to how my father was. He viewed a fathers role as providing for the family and the mother was responsible for taking care of children.

But, that really isn’t the case. Most fathers I talk to that are similar age to me, are very open to being the primary caregiver of their children. It’s really enlightening and amazing.

7: What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I always find it funny how much I tried to prepare for becoming a father only to find out that nothing really prepared me. It is something that could only be experienced for me. The ups and downs, the really long days, and extremely short years.

It simply amazes me how Benjamin can argue with me all day about every single detail. But then, he’ll turn to me and say, “I love papa today”, and all is forgotten.

8: What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

When Benjamin was first born he would get up every few hours to feed and change. So my wife would mostly do that. However, there was this magical time in the mornings that Benjamin and I would spend together.

Benjamin would usually wake up around 7 am in the morning. So during this time I would get up and take him downstairs so my wife could sleep another few hours. During this time Benjamin and I would lay chest to chest on the couch and just stare at each other. He was looking at me and I was looking at him.

I cannot stress how much I cherish this time we spent together. I think about it to this day. I was a proud father bonding with my newborn child and helping my wife stay rested and healthy during this sleep challenged time.

If you have any questions for David, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Brandon Handley of Fatherhood for the Rest of Us

February 7, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 866th Dad in the Limelight is Brandon Handley. I want to thank Brandon Handley for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Brandon Handley with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Brandon Handley and I am a husband, father and man who has decided to fan his desire to share stories and engage life full on. Podcast Creator of Fatherhood for the Rest of Us – Fatherhood Podcast focused on great conversations with Dads from all walks of life in order to show that many share the same love of fatherhood & some of the same challenges, and the various ways that those are overcome.

2) Tell me about your family

Meg my wife known each other for over 20 years now, we have a bit of a When Harry Met Sally slash High Fidelity Reltionship Two Boys Finn (9) and Liam (6) – both think for themselves and are creative in their own right, we look for ways to encourage their independence and they look for ways to become independent faster… We recently moved from NC to NJ for my work, Meg & I work essentially from home and we are a fairly standard deeply involved family.

Brandon Handley of the Fatherhood for the Rest of Us podcast is the 866th dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight Series. Come and learn from this great dad!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Learning how to control my emotions, thoughts, outbursts… to great success… the boys & wife have lead me to be self controlled

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Do it with love and you really can’t go wrong

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Realize that the outside world is out there again… that is… the first few years were heavily focused on the children alone, and we forgot to engage the outside world… realizing this we both take time out for each other, as well as ourselves… the how kinda takes care of itself once you remember that you have a life outside of parenthood.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

That fathers need each other – trying to do it alone is not necessary

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

It’s a fun ride if you let it be.. the challenges you face help you grow just as much as the children grow… as a matter of fact its like Miracle Grow for personal development

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Their births, – just miracles watching those… there were a couple of vomit episodes that were pretty memorable… their smiles, their laughter… the first Christmas, the moments they ride their bikes without training wheels…

If you have any questions for Brandon Handley, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Patrick Pedraza of Hardcore Band Dad Brains

November 27, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 864th Dad in the Limelight is Patrick Pedraza. I want to thank Patrick Pedraza for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Patrick Pedraza with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Patrick Pedraza. I sing in a hardcore band called Dad Brains. I’m 42. Im a Libra and kinda weird…in a good way….I think? :-).

Link to buy my 7” vinyl: http://shop.piratespressrecords.com/products/627051-dad–7 brains-self-titled

2) Tell me about your family.

I’ve been married for 4 years and I have a 14 month old daughter named Violet. I started late.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

I’m a stay at home dad so yeah…..it’s actually a blessing, but I didn’t know there are so many things to do at home with and for a baby!!! Big respect for all stay at home moms and dads!!! You rule!

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Lead with love and know that everyday is different…. Seriously.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Um…I’m working on that one right now. This is all still new for me, but being in a band helps. It’s a great outlet.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

They all have struggles in some way. Just like me.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Love, breathe, and engage. Everyone is telling me it’s gonna go by quickly-and I believe them.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Um…Good or bad? I’ll give you one of each.

Good-The first time Violet smiled at me.

Bad-All the times she falls and cries….she just started walking…oh man.

If you have any questions for Patrick Pedraza, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Jason Hoover of Pixel Parenting

November 22, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 863rd Dad in the Limelight is Jason Hoover. I want to thank Jason Hoover for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Jason Hoover with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Jason Hoover. I am a stay at home dad and founder of pixelparenting.com, a website dedicated to helping parents through the hard struggle that is raising children. I come from a 15-year background in childcare. Even with a long background in caring for children of all ages I was shocked at how ill-prepared the general public and the medical community lets parents be when having children. People joke about poopy diapers and no sleep, but no one prepares you for the actual destructive power of no sleep combined with the new responsibility of taking care of another human being. While I don’t think anything can fully prepare you for the first night at home I want to take the parent masks off and let people know we are all struggling, but it is possible, and it is wonderful (eventually). Pixel Parenting does not want parents to buy into the lie that all of parenting is struggle and sacrifice because the majority can be joy and memories. The website has been cruising along as a passion project for 6 months now and will have parenting courses coming in 2019. My wife and I jumped into me being a stay at home dad in November of 2017, 3 months after our second son was born. Staying at home has brought so much joy, pain, struggles, success, and learning to our lives. It was the right choice, I think.

2) Tell me about your family

I have two boys, Lincoln Carter who will be 5 this December and Remington Grant currently at the 15-month mark. I just had to go to the basement to make sure so I can say with 100 percent confidence that I have been married to my beautiful and understanding wife, Larissa, for 12 years. We were high school sweethearts who took a break through the college years and then reconnected. Larissa is the gravity of this family. When everything starts to get away from us she recenters us. She keeps us grounded and moving forward.

Jason Hoover of Pixel Parenting is the 864th dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight Series. Come and learn from this great dad!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

After we brought our first boy, Lincoln, home in 2013 we had the first sleepless, crying, no nurses to help night from hell. On top of all of the normal insanity my wife was complaining of trouble breathing. We called the doctor who said she was “stressed out” and even called in some calming meds to our local pharmacy. It was so bad that in the morning we called my in-laws to make the two-hour drive to help us. It only got worse. They were here and now everyone had an opinion. My wife continued to say she couldn’t breathe, my son would not suck a breast to literally save his life, and I was a depressed mess trying to hold together that we could do this. As we layed down that night to sleep Larissa said she felt like she would die if she closed her eyes. My mother in law rushed her out to the E.R. Turned out she was right. Larissa was diagnosed with postpartum cardiomyopathy or PPCM. A rare heart condition that happens towards or after pregnancy causing the heart muscle to not work properly. There she was without me or her new baby boy at the hospital. There Lincoln and I were at home without her. The next 4 days of recovery were an overwhelming blur of diapers, bonding, finding a way, and trying to cope. I had nightmares each night of being a single father. The baby got to visit one time and we hobbled around the hospital to try to see how she was doing. I watched my 31 year young wife fight so hard just one week after the hardest thing she had ever done. I wish I could take all of it away. I know people say “look where it got you” or “we learned a lesson”. I wanted to take all her suffering and I was done with fear. I am so glad (for once) for my mother in law. It was trial by father and it was not fun. Remington in 2017 was a big risk for her, but she wanted Lincoln to have a sibling. His birth went smoothly despite the heightened risk.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Consistency is so crucial. Everyone wants advice on behavior, potty training, bedtime, mealtime, and the list goes on. It is all consistency. If your expectations remain the same for your children that is what they live up to. What you tolerate they will do. What you don’t tolerate they will stop. Single Dad, Working Dad, Divorced Dad, Married Dad, Stay at Home Dad, they are all equally important and their children are a direct reflection of their parenting. In all my years in childcare, nothing was more clear than a child (especially a boy) with an absent father. (not present physically or mentally) We live in the information age. As a father, there is no excuse not to learn how to dad up. It is too damaging not to connect with your child. It takes being there and being consistent. In words and deeds. Instruct often and apologize even more often. Most importantly please remember you are leading this family, so lead.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

I have not perfected this. If anyone has, please write a book. A lot of us need it. I do find outlets. I exercise. I play too much Xbox when I put the kids to bed. I go out and indulge in fried food and cheap beer once a month with other guys. As a stay at home dad I don’t pretend to be a mom. Male bonding is still necessary. The internet is a great place if you let it be. I connect with so many positive people through the pixel parenting blog and Instagram. Commenting with a few people back and forth really makes my day and lets me still feel connected.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

One side of the coin was my Dad. He was constantly in a bad mood. I have very few memories of him being happy or excited or wanting to hang out. I used to despise him, but now I just feel bad that he had no idea what he was doing. He still doesn’t. I learned to not freak out with kids. They are learning all the time. When you lose your mind because they break a 5 dollar toy all they do is hide the broken toy next time. Those are patterns I don’t want to create. He was trying to teach us to appreciate things but wasn’t creating an atmosphere of appreciation. I still get pissed when my wife turns the thermostat up and I blame him.

The other side of the coin were the myriad of fathers I met at a Men’s retreat with Grace Community Church of Cranberry Township in 2017. I was fed up with going to work for someone else every day and feeling like I was giving my best to my job and not my family. So many men (too many divorced men), men that had money, men that I thought should be happy told me the same thing: “You got it man. All of that other stuff will be there later. Don’t miss your kids growing up or you will regret it.” And one important father, Robert, who said, ” That job will replace you in a week.” These fathers were the catalyst for me to try to be the best dad I can be.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Scheduling has let me rock my stay at home dad life. I know I can focus solely on my kids for the time they need me because I have scheduled everything for the day. It doesn’t always work out, but I cannot imagine where I would be without it.

Being a father can be hard without being a constant struggle. Be motivated. Attack each day and make it the best. Please don’t be that dad that is in none of the pictures and is just waiting for events to end. Look at marriage and fatherhood as positives not negatives.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

My oldest boy, Lincoln, recently got his first Jiu Jitsu stripe. He earned it. His proud face and the way he hugged me. I hope I get a lot more of those hugs.

Remington, the youngest, fighting to stack blocks and getting five on top of each other. The accomplishments are all around. I am proud of the manners they use, the way they treat their mother and their love for life.

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If you have any questions for Jason Hoover, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Scott Gombar

November 4, 2018 by dadofdivas 2 Comments

Our 862nd Dad in the Limelight is Scott Gombar. I want to thank Scott Gombar for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Scott Gombar with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers’ knowledge)

My name is Scott Gombar and I own an SEO agency by day and I am a blogger by night. In between, I also work in IT. I used to co-host Growth Success Radio and now have a podcast called SEO Hackerz though I have taken a few weeks off from it.

My business website is scottgombar.com. My primary blog (all about dadding) is thedadtax.com.

I am a bit of a tech junkie but reasonable about it at the same time.

I love baseball. I coach baseball, watch baseball and am teaching my only son all about baseball.

2) Tell me about your family

Father to 3 children ranging in age from 4 to 23. I am also a new grandfather to a 3-month-old boy. My children are Arielle (23), Isaiah (8) and Hannah (Izzy) (4) I have been married for 9 years to my beautiful wife Cluny.

Yep, I know that look you’re giving me right now.

Steve Gombar is the 862nd Dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight Series. Come and learn from this great dad!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

In the spirit of complete honesty, it’s probably patience. For example, if one of my children is trying to complete a school assignment or something challenging to them I sometimes try to take over. My children are good about reminding me that they can do it though.

The other challenge is sleep. I don’t think I have had 7 hours of consecutive sleep in at least 8 years.

And my daughter’s hair. I am clueless.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Where to start??

Sleep when you can. I mastered the art of taking naps with my children but making it look as though I am napping because I helped them to nap. Doesn’t work as much as it used to because they’re getting older.

When you make or purchase food plan on your children at least trying it, so you may want to order more.

Each child is very unique. Learn to treat them as individuals, not as a platoon.

Play with them, dance with them, enjoy the time because before you know it the time will be gone. I cannot dance to save my life. Everytime my daughter asks me to dance I dance. I probably know more about My Little Pony than any adult should but that’s because of play time. Just do it.

Probably the biggest one – BE THERE. I don’t care what your relationship or life situation is nothing is more important than being there for your children. Be a dependent, caring, loving and honest (as much as possible) dad.

Dads Do Matter!!

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Wasn’t aware I did…lol.

My family is in a weird position. My wife’s job requires her to be on the road a lot. Fortunately, most of my work can be done from home so I usually handle the activities and after school stuff with the kids. It also helps tremendously with non-school days, sick days and the occasional school just isn’t gonna happen today.

Dads, like anyone else, do need time away from their kids. I don’t do it often but sometimes I will go to a baseball game or other men’s outing without the children.

I try to work out, mostly cardio when I can. It helps to relieve stress. I wish I could be more consistent with it.

The Dad Tax helps me tell the story and relate to other dads. I believe that dads need to be lifted up more so that is part of my reasoning behind creating the blog site.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

One of the more common stereotypes of dads is that we should not show emotion. I have been fortunate to be around dads who do not believe this stereotype. It’s OK to show tears of joy (dust in your eyes), sadness, pain, etc…

The dads I know are extremely active in their child(rens) lives, no matter what their relationship situation is. When I am out with the kids I see other dads with their children all the time.

I have also learned that most dads have to deal with the same things when it comes to parenting. Sharing your challenges and stories helps build confidence as a dad and maybe you get a different perspective to put into practice.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

It’s OK not to be perfect, not to know the answer, not to be able to afford the expensive toy..just be there for your children. Children need a father’s love as much a mother’s love.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

There are really two. The first is my 4-year-old daughter (Izzy). She was born 10 weeks premature. We were told of all these things that would be a challenge for her but she is incredibly strong and faced almost no challenges. She left the hospital to come home 4 weeks before she was supposed to be born and we have never looked back. Today she’s a strong-willed, determined and talented little lady who’s growing like a weed. She’s my diva!!

The other is being able to coach my son at baseball. I have been able to coach him for 4 years now. To watch him develop in the player he is becoming is so awesome and something I believe neither of us will ever forget.

If you have any questions for Scott Gombar, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Chad R. MacDonald of the The Good, the Chad & the Ugly

November 1, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 861st Dad in the Limelight is Chad R. MacDonald. I want to thank Chad R. McDonald for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Chad R. MacDonald with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Chad R. MacDonald and I’m known as The Good, the Chad & the Ugly. I’m a writer, activist, pundit, sports lover, gigantic nerd, and social media specialist living in New York with my family. I do toy and product reviews, give full-throated support to my sports teams, help a home for the disabled, work with our school’s PTA, assist gun violence prevention organizations with fundraising and messaging, and make viral snarky comments about America’s current political climate.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife Robin and I dated back in the nineties. She was both the Love of my Life and The One Who Got Away. Happily, we reconnected in 2009 and were married in 2012. Liam arrived in 2013, and we’ve been a family, along with our gigantic cat Mickey, ever since.

Robin grew up Jewish and I grew up Catholic, so the blending of each our family traditions has been a lot of fun! I’m also an immigrant, which has added both flavor and challenges.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Our son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum for autism when he was two. That has meant years of treatments, appointments, and therapist visits. Although Liam will enjoy a typical childhood and go to typical schools, he required total dedication on our part to get him the help he needs.

But it’s all been worth it. Liam is happy and healthy, and as a family, we’ve gone from getting caught flat-footed and stunned into shock, to a capable and loving unit, savvy and confident that we can overcome unexpected and daunting challenges.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

A mistake I keep making is expecting my child to enjoy the things that I enjoy. That isn’t always necessarily the case, and that’s okay. When you plan something for your kid, make sure that you’re planning something for them, not for you.

Your child is very likely to get interested in something you know nothing about or have little to no interest in yourself. This is your time to learn about the differences between your child and yourself, by learning about what interests them. And it’s a good way to have fun together!

And when they’re interested in learning about something that you enjoy doing, it makes it easy to have fun together!

It’s also very important for Dads to maintain friendships with other Dads. The older we get, the tougher it is to maintain friendships and make new friends. Find ways to do that. I go to see superhero and science fiction movies with other Dads and get to games with my friends as well.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

I became a Stay at Home Dad when Liam arrived, and that’s when I began writing for different websites. And, because why write something if nobody reads it, I began shopping my pieces around to various Facebook groups and pages.

Over the years, I was added to Facebook pages, created others, and inherited even more. Then I began getting contacted by various companies to feature their articles and products on my pages and the next thing you know, that became my career: social media influencer.

As such, I’ve been lucky enough to work with organizations like City Dads Group, various sports and pop culture sites, and toy companies. I’ve found a way to make a living by giving my opinion on things that I like, and helping with issues I’m passionate about, such as helping to stop gun violence.

The good news about this kind of work is I can do it from anywhere, making it easy to balance work and family life. The bad news is I can work from everywhere, so that can sometimes make it tough to put the phone down on family time. But we make it work.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Nobody has an instruction manual for parenting, because an instruction manual that works for everyone simply cannot exist. A technique that works for one child won’t work for another. Every child is different and so is every Dad. How could you write an instruction manual for that?

For example, being on the spectrum for autism put Liam in a shell early in life. He was unwilling to engage in active play, showed little inclination to speak, and was only interested in rolling cars or trains back and forth in front of his eyes.

I used superheroes to bring him out of that. Their bright costumes drew his attention. Many of the toys came with vehicles, bridging people into his play world that only vehicles inhabited. Capes and dressing up helped him with imaginative play, and the role models they provided helped him learn how to be a good person.

To this day we still regularly dress up as superheroes, and although we often get odd looks, we far more frequently get smiles and laughter.

So it’s important not to judge other Dads. They may not do things as you would, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t working, or what they’re doing isn’t something you can learn from.

Even if they dress weird.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Fatherhood is not just teaching your child about life, it’s your child teaching you about life. You will experience everything anew all over again. You will be re-introduced to how magical and wonderful the world around us really can be.

Before Liam came along, I grew as a person by inches every year. Since he arrived, I’ve grown as a person by miles every day.

And it’s okay to not know what you’re doing sometimes. You are not alone, and you will find a way. Whenever I’m asked how we’ll solve a problem in front of us, I respond by channeling a line from Indiana Jones: “I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go.”

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The first lesson my son taught me was fear. The morning he was born, he turned in the womb, became entangled in the umbilical cord and my wife, who was in agony, needed an emergency C-Section. Being left behind as a medical team rushed her away was the most terrifying moment of my life.

Everything turned out fine, but for those painfully long moments, I was faced with the possibility of losing both the love of my life and a son I hadn’t met yet at the same time.

To start fatherhood with the terror of losing your family will definitively teach you that your life is no longer just your own. It is a powerful lesson, that you will never forget.

But learning that the love that follows the fear is even more powerful?

That’s what makes it all worthwhile.

If you have any questions for Chad R. MacDonald, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Podcast Talent Coach Erik K. Johnson

October 25, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 860th Dad in the Limelight is Erik K. Johnson . I want to thank Erik K. Johnson for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Erik K. Johnson with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Erik K. Johnson and ne day when my wife was picking up my daughter from preschool, the teacher pulled her aside and asked, “What does your husband do for a living?” My wife told the teacher that I worked in radio. “Oh, now it makes sense.” The teacher said, “I asked the kids what their parents do. Your daughter said, ‘My daddy talks to me through the radio.’ I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that.” I have been in radio for 30 years. I now coach podcasters through www.PodcastTalentCoach.com.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife and I have been married for 19 years. We have two children, Emma (16) and Simon (15). We also have 3 dogs. Our 2 Yorkies are Gizmo and Harlow. Daisy is our Miniature Schnauzer. All 3 are rescues.

Erik K. Johnson, the Podcast Talent Coach is the 860th Dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight Series. Come and learn from this great dad!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Allowing my kids to make mistakes and learn has been my biggest challenge as a father. I want to teach them. I also want them to be independent. Watching Emma and Simon learn by failing has been difficult.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Ask for help and recognize when you need it. We aren’t expected to know everything. Yet as men, we think we have to be strong. We think asking for help is a sign of weakness. Kids are a challenge. There is no shame in asking for help when we need it.

I grew up in a large family. I was an uncle the minute I was born. Today, I have 36 nieces and nephews. When we had children, I figured my experience with kids would have me ready for anything. The night we brought Emma home from the hospital, I laid in bed thinking, “We have a baby in the house and I’m responsible for her. What do I know about raising a kid?” It was also 3 months after 9/11. I definitely needed some help.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
We work hard to balance family and work. My wife and I work hard to get our kids involved in many activities. We also get involved in those same activities. This forces us to put family time on the calendar. I coach my son’s hockey team. I am involved with him in Boy Scouts. My wife helps at the theater where my daughter performs. We also work together to arrange family vacations to ensure we spend time together away from our other commitments.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
All fathers have a different approach. By watching and interacting with others, I have learned there isn’t only one right way to raise a kid. Different kids need different approaches. They are motivated in different ways. Treat each of your children as a unique individual. Challenge them to reach higher than they believe they can reach. Inspire them to be great. Remember, great means something different for each of them.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Idle minds get into trouble. Growing up in a single parent home, I often ran with the wrong crowd and narrowly escaped getting into big trouble. There were a few run-ins with the police. We were throwing rocks or in places we shouldn’t have been.

When we became parents, we exposed our kids to multiple experiences. We worked to keep them active and involved quite a bit. We also held them to high expectations. They were expected to introduce themselves to people and have good manners. Our kids also had plenty of time to be kids.

Over time, I realized kids will live up to the expectations you hold for them. Allow them to be great. Expect and inspire it.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

There have been so many memorable experiences as a father. Most of my memories revolve around watching my kids make friends. At parent-teacher conferences, my son’s kindergarten teacher said, “He could have a conversation with a telephone pole. He will talk to anyone.”

I was a typical, introverted kid. Speaking in front of crowds was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Both of my children have learned to be confident in front of strangers. They have developed the ability to talk in front of a crowd and believe in themselves.

My wife has done a wonderful job teaching both of them manners and confidence. I hope I can continue to be a bit of a role model for them.

If you have any questions for Erik K. Johnson, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Jonathan Oliver

October 14, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 859th Dad in the Limelight is Jonathan Oliver. I want to thank Jonathan Oliver for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Jonathan Oliver with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Jonathan Oliver and I am a stay at home dad and the founder of Higher Enlightenment, a personal development coaching company dedicated to providing spiritual and intelligent insight with the goal of helping people believe in themselves and soar through their fears and hurdles. I am a published author and wrote the book Joy in the Journey: 1^st year chronicles from a stay at home dad where I chronicle my first year experiences as a stay at home dad with my first-born Journey. I cover the struggles and joys of parenting ranging from sleep training, getting back to dating my wife, finding a nanny, traveling, selecting a preschool, and so much more. Be inspired, encouraged, and comforted as you join me on a journey that will be sure to shatter the loneliness of being a stay at home dad. As the roles of masculinity continue to evolve, more and more men are embracing new and exciting roles. No longer is it acceptable for men to be emotionally disconnected from their children. Men are learning to accept the fact they can be just as loving, caring and nurturing as women. Doing so does not make them less of a man, it makes them authentic men who are committed to loving their children and being amazing fathers. Joy In The Journey provides men with a guidebook to support them in dealing with the challenges of manhood and provides insights to make the experience more rewarding and fulfilling.

2) Tell me about your family

I’ve been married for 9.5 years to my amazing wife. We met in a MCAT prep course because at one point I was interested in medicine but I realized that wasn’t the path for me. She continued with her medical education and is now a general cardiologist. From the beginning of our relationship we always talked about the fact that she would likely want to continue working full time if we had children so we planned for that. We now have 2 beautiful daughters, Journey (3) and Justice (4 months).

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

I was surprised that I could experience my own form postpartum depression. My life before children consisted of a lot of travel and interacting with thousands of people in a week. So to go from always moving and interacting with different people to being at home alone with an infant that can’t speak was very difficult for me. Add in that I knew no one in our new city, and no one looked like me or was doing what I was doing was very isolating and led me to be depressed. Being a black man and being a stay-at-home dad, it’s a double-edged sword because not only is there very few stay-at-home fathers that I have interacted with, there are very few black stay-at-home fathers that I have interacted with, so it was truly one of those things where I felt like I was out on an island by myself.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Before I have an imaginary tea party or playing ball with my daughter, it’s important for her to see that I love her mother. Once my daughter knows, feels, and senses that her mother is loved by her father, she will know she is in a safe environment and this allows her to grow and thrive. Now that she is almost 3, it’s such a joy to see her want to join in on a hug when she sees me hugging and kissing her mother. She mimics my love for her mother. Realizing this took away the pressure of being a “perfect parent” and helped me to understand that my first job is to be a good husband to my wife. Being a good dad starts with being a good husband. It starts with getting involved in the entire prenatal process and embracing that experience with your wife. So if you really want to be a good dad, make darn sure you’re a good husband, because great husbands become great dads.

If there’s one thing your baby needs, it’s a stable, loving home. Work to make your marriage rock solid.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

It has come through my writing. This was a major reason why I wrote Joy in the Journey: 1^st year chronicles from a stay at home dad. I wanted to dive back and help other dads in the same role. I didn’t want to lose myself in my daughter, Journey, where she became my all and everything. I didn’t want to lose who Jonathan J.O. was. So writing the book gave me balance and helped me stay connected to who I am and how I want to grow in this process of being a father. It gave me a new purpose.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Slow down and enjoy my children while I can and while they’re young. They aren’t going to be babies forever.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

First, that black men are not deadbeat dads. We are thriving and growing in our marriage and our communities.

Secondly, I want to give all stay at home parents, but particularly fathers, the information, confidence, and encouragement to fully engage in the parenting process, their marriages, and their communities.

Lastly, I want people to realize there is a shift occurring and more men are transitioning to the homemaker role than ever before. We as men are more than capable and are wanting and willing to raise our children with the support and encouragement of other parents.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Seeing the birth of both of my daughters, Journey and Justice. Seeing them born was the most mind-blowing experience of my entire life. It was beautiful, magical, emotional, humbling, and spiritual. I will never fully understand the transformation my wife went through from pregnancy, labor, delivery, and forever motherhood.

If you have any questions for Jonathan Oliver, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Dom Williams

October 11, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 858th Dad in the Limelight is Don Williams. I want to thank Don Williams for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Don Williams with all of you.

Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I’m Dom Williams and I have recently written and produced a new kids TV show called Sunny Bank Allotments (www.sunnybank.tv). I was inspired to do this after finding out my wife and I were having our first child, I wanted to produce something that my little boy would enjoy in his early years and then grow up to be proud of in later life. The names of the main characters, Barney and Pippa, were the names we’d chosen for our baby before we found out what gender he was going to be.

Producing this show fitted in really nicely with my day job, where I run a group of media companies, in the UK. One of the companies manages music royalties for recording artists, another is a talent agency for actors and most recently we’ve launched a production company arm, through which we produce Sunny Bank Allotments.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife Jenny is amazing. We’ve been married four years and she makes me really happy. As one of my closest friends put it “she balances me out” – meaning that she knows how to manage me!

We have a little boy called Barney and he’s very cheeky and the inspiration for our TV show Sunny Bank Allotments. As a family we love being outdoors, whether camping, going to the park or digging down at our allotment. Barney is never happier than when he is covered in mud!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Having a child has changed my life completely. I am obsessed with every new thing he does and it’s made me re-prioritize my whole life. My biggest challenge was that Barney was never that great at sleeping and I am pretty useless unless I get 8 hours solid sleep a night! I had very high expectation about how much I was going to be able to do and realistically free time is now at a premium. Thankfully he’s finally started sleeping through more regularly and I feel like a new man!

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

3 things:

That all babies are different, there’s no quick fix rule or solution to make parenting easier. Tiny humans are complicated.
Don’t try to hang on to how you lived your life before kids. Having a baby will turn everything upside down so just embrace that and you’ll realise just how much better life is with a small person!
And most importantly sleep whenever you can – see above! Everything is harder when you’re tired.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

I have been really lucky in that as I run my own companies I have been able to adjust my hours so I can maximize the time I spend with Barney. I now work 4 days a week so I have a special Daddy/ Barney Day every week to look forward to. I’ve also shifted my working pattern as I was getting up at 5am everyday anyway so decided to go into the office early so I could get home in time for bedtime every night.

It has been a struggle at times, especially when trying to fit in socializing as well, but, for me, it’s been about prioritizing spending as much time with my little man as possible.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

One thing that I wasn’t expecting to hear about from my friends with children of their own was how annoying children’s TV shows could be! It hadn’t really even factored into my consciousness before Barney came along that children’s TV shows were anything other than mindless fun. However, a couple of Dads I know mentioned that the TV shows their kids were interested in drove them absolutely wild! Silly storylines, annoying characters and stereotypes of Dads was something they mentioned. That was what originally got me thinking about writing my own show. I wanted there to be a program Barney could watch that would reflect the interests of the children I knew – the outdoors, growing things and nature, as well as promoting family values.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Life seems to have flown by since the birth. The cliché of it being like a rollercoaster is apt. I’m fortunate that Jenny is great at getting lots of photos, that means you get to catch your breath (when he’s asleep) and look at all the wonderful family experiences you’ve had. So that’s another bit of advice too – get lots of photos and try and capture all those wonderful memories

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The most memorable experiences are the ones involving a first for Barney. The first time he tried a new food, his first steps or seeing the ocean for the first time. He’s got such a big smile and an expressive face that when those things happened his reaction was priceless.

If you have any questions for Dom Williams, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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