30 Days to Becoming a Better Parent Day 1: Find Your Inner Parent
When you were growing up did you see yourself in the future as a Mom or as a Dad? Did people say to you, you are so good with kids, or did they make sure that their kids stayed as far away from you as possible. It is interesting to see how people become parents (and I am not talking about biologically). What I am referring to here is the process one goes through to truly understand and learn what it takes to be a parent. Some of us learn this from our own parents, through example. Others have friends of the family or others that they look up to for formal or informal guidance and support.
So today’s challenge is to take out some paper and think about yourself as a parent. Who helped mold you into the parent you are today? Was it your own parents? Was it Bill Cosby? How did you learn about what was right and wrong in regards to your parenting skills, or was it a process of trial and error (as it is for many parents – they don’t call parenting the great experiment for nothing.
Take the piece of paper (or type it for all of you techy folks) that you have and answer the following questions:
- Who helped mold you into the parent you are today?
- How did you learn about what was right and wrong in regards to your parenting skills?
- What do you still need to work on to become a better parent
If you are so inclined please leave your responses in a comment below or link to a blog post if you are going to commit to joining me on this journey so that others can learn from you as well.
Good luck with day 1 and look forward to your thoughts and comments!
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1.Who helped mold you into the parent you are today?
I’d have to say my own parents, not for what they did right, but for what they did wrong.
I learned big lessons on what NOT to do.
2.How did you learn about what was right and wrong in regards to your parenting skills?
I had a friend who observed me giving in to my child’s behavior one day, and without blinking an eye, she outright called me a LAZY parent!!!…She said, ” It’s your fault, your lazy. You don’t do that child one bit of good by being lazy and giving in, it takes more hard work and effort on YOUR part to follow through even if it’s inconvenient for you to do so!”
Wow!!! I never thought about it like that.
I am a Lazy Parent! I’m giving idle warnings and threats and actually teaching them that it’s ok not to listen to me the first time I speak.
It took about a month, and I had the best behaved little girls on the block. If I said, “you don’t do that in a restaurant” they didn’t do it. They knew they would be removed immediatly. No More Mrs. Lazy here.
My friend was right! It was very hard on MY part but it worked, it was the best advice I was ever given as a parent.
3.What do you still need to work on to become a better parent?
My listening skills. I know it’s very important to listen carefully because sometimes what children are really saying, they are not saying at all.
1. My mum and Dad.
2. Accepting complete responsibility for my kids behaviour (and my emotions). Observing what happens after I interact or don’t interact with my kids.
3. Learn how to collaborate creatively with my kids.