In a stunning new survey done exclusively by Glamour, young women recorded an average of 13 brutal thoughts about their bodies each day (some had as many as 35, 50 or even 100!). 300 women of all sizes from across the country were asked to note every negative or anxious thought they had about their bodies over the course of one full day. The results shocked us—97 percent admitted to having at least one “I hate my body” moment. Some of the comments recorded were, “You’re bigger than her, fatty,” “Your stomach is fat. That is why you are alone,” and “Oh my God, look at her waist and legs! We’re the same height. She looks like a model. I look like a lumpy sock.” To see the full survey results, click here: http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2011/02/shocking-body-image-news-97-percent-of-women-will-be-cruel-to-their-bodies-today.
- Be truly committed. Don’t just go through the motions – act like you’re making a promise to your company, or to your best friend.
- Be specific. A resolution like “I want to lose weight” is easier to ignore than “I want to lose five pounds by March.”
- Set a deadline. A timeframe equals commitment and helps quantify success.
- Avoid overwhelming yourself. You may want to lose weight, quit smoking, achieve moderation with martinis and cut up your credit cards all at once, but let’s get real. Focus on a limited set of goals and plan on taking stock mid-year.
- Change one thing at a time. Recognize that change is hard. Wait to achieve one goal before starting on the next.
- Be realistic. Taking charge of a fitness regimen is a realistic goal, while exercising seven days a week may not be. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment with lofty goals.
The idea is to take daily action that creates a ripple effect in your life.
By transforming your life with small steps, you can stay motivated, focused and balanced. Best of all, you will feel happier about pursuing your personal success.
The key to a happier life is contained in the dreams you already have. Your aspirations can create new opportunities, a fresh direction for your life’s path. It is possible to unlock them. It’s never too late. You have started today by looking at this book.
With his accessible, unique approach using tangible daily steps to reach achievable goals, Jason Harvey can help you succeed by taking small steps to a better you.
Comprehensive and inspiring, Achieve Anything In Just One Year will teach you how to:
- Set goals and stick with them
- Take daily action that creates a ripple effect
- Stay motivated, focused and balanced that
- Feel happier everyday!!!
- Define, pursue and celebrate personal success
Learn to equip yourself with the tools to become your own personal life coach, without relying on outside motivation. You have the power to do anything you desire. The possibilities are within you. It’s time to nurture that spark and let it catch fire.
Jason Harvey is a Certified Life Coach and the founder of The Limitless Institute.
My Take on The Book
I liked the fact that the book was straight forward and did not require a long period of focus. Instead, the book allowed the reader to know exactly what they needed to do. I have read a number of self-help books both personally and professionally and one thing that I liked about this book was that it did not read like a self-help book. You instead feel like you are being encouraged daily.
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About The Books
Over thirty years ago, Pat Palmer and Louise Hart met at their first graduate school class in Greeley, Colorado, sitting on the basement floor of their professor’s home. At the time, Pat was the founder and director of the Assertiveness Training Institute of Denver; Louise was a “displaced homemaker” pursuing a career. When Pat spoke up and spoke out, she surprised some of the men and the “nice girls” in the class, including Louise. Pat gave Louise a scholarship to her assertiveness class—and it changed her life.
Pat’s dissertation, on teaching assertiveness from an early age, was published as two children’s books—Liking Myself, and The Mouse, the Monster and Me. These two heartfelt and powerfully written books were uniquely designed, charmingly illustrated and hand-lettered on traditional lined elementary school paper.
They became international bestsellers in six languages, selling over half a million copies around the globe. They went out of print in the U.S. in 2000. Copies were selling on Amazon for over a hundred dollars.
Now ten years later, these two long time favorites teaching social-emotional skills are being revised and reeleased —thanks to Pat’s long time friend Louise Hart.
The Mouse, the Monster and Me focuses on the importance of finding a balance between one’s aggressive inner “monster” and one’s passive inner “mouse”. Children quickly grasp the metaphor and discover their assertive “me” self. Readers readily identify these behaviors in themselves and others. Other issues include: getting in touch with your own strengths; respect, rights, and responsibilities; how to say “no” to trouble; receiving criticism and compliments; and being yourself.
“Practice, with a friend or family member, assertive ways to ask. Remember… …to stand or sit up straight …to look at the other person …to talk in a normal (not whining or shouting) voice …and to be honest and direct. It’s OK to ask for what you want. (But don’t expect to always get it).”
Liking Myself offers advice on how to handle oneself when feeling depressed, upset, or overwhelmed. Topics include: liking yourself, feeling talk, allowing, letting go, and body talk.
“Feelings are good friends. Feelings can let us know what is happening, what we want, what is important to us…. They tell you when you need to take care of yourself, like finding a friend if you feel lonely, crying if you feel sad, singing and smiling if you feel happy, and acting frisky if you feel good.”
Both books teach healthy, non-violent conflict management skills that are more vital than ever in today’s increasingly interdependent society. Although they are written for children, when parents also read and do the exercises, both learn new skills that improve family relationships.
The books are available online, through BookSurge, or Baker and Taylor
About the Creators
Dr. Pat Palmer, now 81, is author of many books for children, tweens, and adults. A clinical psychologist and former Director of the Assertiveness Training Institute in Denver, Dr. Pat Palmer continues to write at her home on Maui.
Publisher Dr. Louise Hart, 71, is the author of two highly regarded books, The Winning Family Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself and On the Wings of Self Esteem. After presenting workshops as far as Heidelberg, Moscow, Tokyo, and Okinawa, she is still giving workshops for parents in the Bay Area of California.
Illustrator, Betty Shondeck, 71, a retired elementary school art teacher living in Denver, dusted off her pens for an update of the hand-crafted books for today’s youngsters.
What People are Saying About Both Books
“These books are delightful in their innocence, healthy in their advice, empowering in their message. I wish I’d grown up with them and their message.”
—Senator John Vasconcellos, Emeritus Dean of the California Legislature
“These books are fantastic. I really enjoyed reading them myself, and I intend to use them in my work with juvenile offenders. Many read at the 3rd and 4th grade levels, and, unfortunately many do not like themselves.”
—David, Parole Agent, Department of Youth Authority, Los Angeles, CA
“Parents can confidently provide these books to their children with full assurance that they contain the values and prescriptions for positive behavior.”
—The Behavior Therapist
My Take On The Books
Being a father of two girls I am always concerned about the fragility of their self-esteem. These books sounded like ones that would provide me and my girls with some great tools for the future so I was excited to these books provided to me.
In reviewing these books I was impressed at the simplicity as well as the imagery that the books use to convey its’ message. The books were written with young people in mind and the combination of youthful drawings as well as easy to understand concepts allow the reader and their parents the opportunity to converse openly about important issues in relation to assertiveness and self esteem.
The book also had places for parent and child to self reflect on the concepts within the chapter itself.
Overall, I found that these books were great resources to get parents and kids talking about important topics that are important for all kids to understand.
I truly recommend these books and know that they will be books that I will continue to enjoy using with my girls.
The picture you see here was a few years ago when my daughter (then at age 3 and ¾) took her first venture into being a saleswoman. At a two-day rummage sale she wanted to sell cookies and kool-aid so we put up the money for the supplies and let her have her shot at making some money.
During the first day she was amazing and stayed with it for almost 8 hours, which as most of you know is an amazing feat for an almost 4 year old. She was asking all of our patrons “Do You Want A Cookie” before they even got out of their cars, and most would favor her with some patronage. It was quite humorous and people throughout the day mentioned that we had a born business woman on our hands.
This weekend made me start thinking about the right and wrong ways to teach our children about the value of money and the value of hard work. I mean I believe that I emulate the value of hard work in my every day work and show that to my daughters. Yet, I still want them to understand that money comes from hard work and that it mut be respected.
The money that Diva-J did make (just over $40) was provided to her and she had the choice of what she wanted to do with it (though we encouraged her to save at least ½ of it). She decided to purchase some Disney polly pockets and to save the other ½ in her savings account. All-in-all I do think that we taught her some about the money that she made from her work, but I do know that there is more that she needs to learn.
After thinking about this, I decided to examine this a bit more for resources that I could use with my own girls. I found the following resources:
My youngest started school this year and on her first day she came home excited and stated “I made a new friend.” As all of us remember, friends were those people who truly carried us through good and bad times.
- What has sustained your long-lasting friendships?
- Are their common traits/characteristics of these friendships and if so what are they?
- What concerns you about the friends that your child has?
Having your children know how to stick to the things that they start is one of the most important things that you can teach as a parent. The skills that you teach them regarding this will be ones that will continue to show up as your children get older and older. Hopefully, once your child reaches adulthood they are ready to be able to take the world on with full force and understand what they must do to be able to survive in a challenging world.
So how can you do this as a parent? Here are a few thoughts on things you can do to help your child:
Notice and applaud things that your child does that shows that they are striving toward a goal. Even if they do not succeed, heep encouraging and helping them to see that the goal is possible. You may even need to roll up your own sleeves to lend a hand (if asked – don’t rescue them completely as this may have the opposite effect).
Give your child honest feedback on how they are doing as they strive to meet the goal or task at hand. If they need to work on an area let them know. Do not tear them down, but build them up and let them know that you are behind them in what they are trying to achieve. Communicating though is key, so that they know that they are not alone and that they do have support if they choose to ask.
Identify and work past obstacles
Sometimes our children need some assistance in seeing the boulders in the path ahead. Make sure to ask them if they want advice before you give it and be wary of those children that always come to you for your advice. With these children, the better question may be, how do you think you can overcome this obstacle? By doing this you are continuing to challenge them and asking them to be creative with their solutions and not to merely rely on others for answers.
Being able to bounce back
The ultimate goal as I stated earlier is to have children who can get back up when they stumble or fall. We all want our kids to be successful and to be able to achieve all that they wish for in life, but we also know that no one is able to achieve everything without some failures along the way. The important thing is that our children do not give up, but instead they have the fortitude to stand back up, brush off their ego and move forward again.
- How have I been persistent in the past?
- What traits do I see in others that allow them to be persistent in their goals and in life?
- What goals have I set for myself that I have achieved and how id I achieve these goals?
- In what areas of my child’s life have I noticed persistence?
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So today’s task is to answer the above questions. Second, come up with a list of 5 ways that you encourage persistence in your child. Once complete, please come back and share your list with others.
Good luck with day 27 and I look forward to your thoughts and comments!
- How are you engaged with your child?
- How are you distracted from this engagement, and what can you do to minimize this when around your child?
Thus, from an early age parents need to be cognizant of this and need to instill the importance of communication in their kids.
Today’s task is to make a list of five things that you can do to better communicate with your children. Second, spend quality time with your children, talking to them and listening to their hopes, fears and dreams. Once complete with these tasks we ask that if you are so inclined please leave your responses in a comment below or link to a blog post if you are going to commit to joining me on this journey so that others can learn from you as well. Good luck with day 25 and I look forward to your thoughts and comments!