When a Marriage Can’t Be Saved

October 14, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

When two partners get married, the marriage is always seen as being together forever. They’re the love of each other’s lives and will hopefully grow old together. During the first year of their marriage, they’ll buy a home and will probably be expecting a child together. Throughout their many years of marriage and parenthood, there will be plenty of good memories to look back on. There were also be bad times, arguments, and fights.

Arguing and fighting is expected to happen every now and then in a marriage as well as relationships and engagements. After both of you have let out your anger and frustration, you calm down, are able to think with a clear head, and apologize. Disagreements are also expected to happen often in a marriage, but plenty of partners are able to figure out a compromise. But if these arguments, fights, and disagreements become more frequent, it might be one of the first signs that being married isn’t working out anymore.

Once it starts to become obvious that a marriage isn’t the same as how it started, many couples will try to find a way to bring back that newlywed spark. Before turning to family law professionals, like KoonsFuller Family Law, couples may schedule more alone time together wherever they can. They’ll find a babysitter for the kids so they can have a date night. Date night can include going out to dinner, going to see a movie, or another enjoyable activity. Even though your kids are everything to you, couples need alone time to enjoy each other and remember why they got married.

Another thing a couple can do in an attempt to save their marriage is going on a getaway. Just like with date night, any kids you have together can be left with a babysitter. This getaway can be a weekend or a week-long trip. It can be camping in the woods, a cabin up in the mountains, a resort on the beach, etc. Whatever type of getaway both of you will enjoy, the choice is yours. All parents will agree that your kids are your world, but it can be nice to have a break from them and have all of your attention on each other.

If whatever idea you and your spouse come up with doesn’t rekindle the spark in your marriage, marriage counselors are available to help. They have the knowledge and experience to give suggestions on rekindling the romance based on why the marriage seems to be going downhill. Besides doing what they can to help your marriage work out, they also know if it’s best that you get a divorce.

Going through a divorce can be hard and stressful. You’re separating from the person you thought was the love of your life. You’ve spent the last decade or two having them as your life partner. You’ve raised kids together, have gone on plenty of adventures, and have stuck by each other’s sides through thick and thin. Whatever struggles life threw at you, you faced and survived them all.

A divorce can be difficult for any kids involved. All kids grow up viewing their parents’ marriage as being together forever. The most ideal childhood to have is both parents under one roof. The age of the kids at the time of the divorce can determine what their reactions will be. Teenagers may be upset and act out in response. Younger children may not fully be able to understand the situation but may be sad about mommy and daddy no longer being together.

When a divorce includes kids, one decision will be who’s going to have custody of them. If both partners are completely capable parents, it can be joint custody. If one parent is dealing with being unemployed or an alcohol or drug addict, the other parent may receive full custody.

Whatever the custody situation ends up being, it’s important that both parents are still in the kids’ lives. If the mother has full custody, the kids can visit their father on the weekends and vice versa. A divorce may mean that both parents go back to handling life on their own, but raising the kids is a responsibility that both share together.

7 Reasons A Loving Marriage Brings Hope and Security To Your Kids

July 14, 2017 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

7 Reasons A Loving Marriage Brings Hope and Security To Your Kids

A loving marriage is a wonderful thing to be part of. When you’re in a loving, supportive marriage, you feel safe and secure, knowing that your partner has your back and is always there for you.

Building a strong marriage takes long term work and commitment, with plenty of open communication, and a good dash of humor and forgiveness thrown in. The results are worth it – you’re building a bond that will last a lifetime.

There’s another positive aspect to a loving marriage, beyond the benefits it brings you and your partner: A loving marriage brings hope and security to your kids.

Coming from a home where a supportive, affectionate marriage is central, is nourishing and helpful for your children. Here are 7 reasons why keeping your marriage strong benefits your children too:

Kids Feel More Secure

A home full of arguments or even the impending stress of a possible break up doesn’t provide security for children. It’s hard for kids to feel safe and secure when their home life is on a rocky ground.

A loving marriage gives kids a secure background and a safe home where they can relax and truly feel at ease. A harmonious home life boosts kids’ self esteem, reduces tension, and can even increase their confidence.

The importance of feeling secure cannot be overstated. By keeping your marriage stable, loving, you’re giving your kids a gift of great value.

Affection Becomes The Norm

Seeing their parents be loving to each other lets kids see that affection is normal and natural. Kids who grow up in a home without a lot of hugs or hand holding are at risk of growing up unsure of their emotions or how best to express them healthily.

Growing up around affectionate parents helps kids grow up into affectionate, loving adults who aren’t afraid to show their love for others. One day in the future, they’ll show that same affection and openness to their own kids, continuing a positive cycle.

They See What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like

One day your kids are going to grow up and get into relationships of their own. They may choose to marry. The relationship they see growing up gives them the idea of what a relationship is, and what it should look like.

Kids who see their parents treating each other with love and respect grow up with the healthy notion that respect and love are the norm in a relationship. They’ll have healthy expectations and, with some encouragement from you, will learn to reject any partner who doesn’t treat them with appropriate love and respect.

Learning That Conflict Can Be Dealt With

Even the most loving marriage experiences a little conflict from time to time. If your marriage is strong and loving overall, the occasional conflict won’t be too frightening for your kids.

Seeing that you and your spouse can disagree but still treat each other kindly models excellent behavior for your kids as they grow. They’ll learn that conflict can be dealt with, and that it’s possible to disagree with someone without lashing out and using cruel words.

They Learn The Importance Of Being Mindful Of Others

Seeing you and your spouse treating each other with consideration is a valuable life lesson for your children. When you’re in a loving marriage you’re kind to each other, and show thoughtfulness towards each other’s needs and feelings.

Teaching your kids to be mindful of others sets them up to become considerate, thoughtful adults who act with integrity and maturity in their relationships, and forge deep and enduring connections as a result.

The Value Of Teamwork Is Highlighted

When your kids see you and your spouse working together to get the chores done, plan a vacation, move home, or overcome an obstacle, they learn about the value of teamwork. And if you involve them in projects so they can work alongside you, that’s even better.

Kids who learn how to share, compromise, and work together, are learning valuable skills that will benefit them not only in relationships, but in work, friendships, community activities and more.

Space To Explore And Grow

Kids who feel secure also feel safe enough to explore who they are and their place in the world around them. They have the security they need to grow into themselves and explore what matters to them, what talents and gifts they have, and what makes them happy.

When you create a safe and secure marriage, you give your kids a beautiful environment in which they have the safety and support they need to develop into teenagers and then into adults with a sense of hope and fun.

A loving marriage is wonderful for you and your partner, and it gives your kids a safe, nurturing life at home.

Author Bio:- Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

Getting Away To A Great City and Hotel Helps Parents Reconnect ( @hotel71chicago ) #Dadchat

July 4, 2012 by dadofdivas 24 Comments

This past weekend, I was lucky enough to be able to get away with my lovely bride of 14 years to escape the chains of reality and instead to simply let go and have fun without the kids! I have to be honest and say that we have not been the best examples of balance when it comes to finding our own time as parents, so this was a lucky treat and after spending the time with her I have to say that it was something that we should have done a long time ago! We decided to spend our 14th anniversary in the town where we had our first trip as a couple some 16 years ago, the windy city, Chicago. I had had some CityPASS tickets that were provided to me in the past so we were planning to try and use some of them so that we could go and see some of the local museums as well as take in the sights, sounds and tastes of Chicago.

We decided to take the South Shore Line of the Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District into the town as we had found out that it would cost us about $49/night to park the car in town, so we wanted to save a bit of money. For both of us it cost about $30 roundtrip from Chesterton, Indiana and the parking was secure and the ride was pleasant and comfortable without any noticeable delays or issues. The train brought us to Millenium Station and from there is was only about a 3 block walk to where we were staying.

I was so excited to try out Hotel 71 as I had heard some amazing things about it, as well as seeing it in movies like “The Dark Knight” and “Transformers” Located directly in the heart of Chicago, it is so well situated between the Magnificent Mile and things like Grant Park and Navy Pier that you cannot go wrong. The other great thing was that it was located right on the Chicago River (or at least right across the street) and with views of this as well as the Trump Tower, Wrigley and Tribune buildings, you cannot get much better!

In walking into the building you are introduced to a modern looking hotel with a pleasant feel. The first thing that I noticed was the smiles on the faces of the front desk staff. I was immediately welcomed by Jessica, an employee who had recently graduated from College and was a transplant from Michigan. Jessica was easy to talk to and made me feel like I was the only customer that she had to work with all day (talk about feeling welcomed). What particularly was nice was the fact that every time that I saw her she remembered who I was and used my name to greet me and to ask how she could continue being of service which was amazing.

The check-in process was simple and we even could check into our room early (which was a pleasant surprise).

When we got to the room and opened the door we were very pleased at what we encountered. The room was very like luxurious, with a king sized bed desk and then tables as well as a minibar, microwave and safe. The bathroom provided his and her sinks as well as a separate restroom with soaking tub and disconnected shower. Inside the restroom was an additional television for you to be able to watch something on television while soaking in the tub. The linens on the bed were of high quality and the pillows were such that you simply sank into them and did not want to get up (or at least I didn’t). Everything in the room was pristine and the housing staff did a wonderful job at keeping the room looking the way that the hotel wished it to be. The view from the room was wonderful and spotlighted the Chicago River,TrumpTower, Wrigley and Tribune buildings. As a photographer I love to be able to take pictures of the river and the individual bridges that you typically do not get to view from the angle of a hotel room.

I explored the hotel and decided to work out and was pleased to find a fully stocked workout room with three rooms filled with equipment ranging from cardio too weights, there was a little bit of everything for everyone.

My wife and I decided to explore the city a little bit on the first day and went to the Shedd Aquarium in 14 years. Thanks to CityPass we bypassed a long line and found that the pass itself that we had provided us with complete access to all of the aquarium, and instead of having to pay for extra exhibits and shows we were provided full access without additional charge. The aquarium was amazing and offers so many varieties of aquatic life. The shows and additional exhibits are worth the extra money as the staff of the aquarium have done a remarkable job of working with the animals and the habitats of the animals to make your experience as real as can be without being in the water yourself.

The only downside to the day was public transportation, as we had purchased one day passes to save some money in regards to transporting ourselves to and from our hotel. While the transportation was less expensive it didn’t take but a bit longer and we found that by staying until after the aquarium had closed, it was also a bit unreliable. We ended up walking back to the hotel from the aquarium which was about a 25 to 30 minute walk on a warm day.

By the time that we returned to our hotel we were pleased to find that the staff had provided us with bottled water and fruit to accompany our stay (I am guessing this may have something to do with my review of the hotel, but it was a very nice gesture nonetheless).

Our stay at Hotel 71 continued to be a great one over the two full days and two nights that we were guests. On the second night of our stay we also ate at the restaurant which is a part of the hotel called Hoyt’s Chicago. The restaurant was elegant and provided an urban feel to one’s dining experience. For both my wife and I loved about the restaurant at first was the laid-back dining atmosphere that was provided to us. We had the opportunity to sit and eat outside (though it was too warm for us) or inside.

We actually had a table sitting overlooking theChicago River (which we both loved). Our server was friendly and talkative (not overly so) and was ever-eager to assist and please. My wife and I got to know him a little bit better in about what brought him to the city, and he was comfortable in sharing his life with us which is something we always enjoy.

The restaurant knew that it was our anniversary, so they surprised us with a bottle of sparkling wine which was a nice surprise! We ended up deciding to try out the homemade pretzel appetizer first. When this came out, it came with both a chorizo cheese sauce as well as a stone ground Dijon mustard, both of which were very good. I even tried mixing the two and found that they went well together. After this my wife ordered the hanger steak and I the skirt steak.

When the meals arrived I have to say that the kitchen had done a fine job at displaying the meal. We each tried each other and I have to say that though both were mouth watering, we both preferred the hanger steak as it had more flavor overall and the mix of caramelized onions brought forth an addition complex component of flavors which the skirt steak was lacking.

This is not to say that the skirt steak was bad, far from it, but it was simply lacking a bit of flavor that a sauce would have helped (as the horseradish cream was a bit mild for my taste.

After our main course we ordered the Oatmeal and Nuts Apple Crumble and it was definitely worth it. Talk about a delicious way to end our meal.

All-in-all the meal at Hoyt’s Chicago was a very pleasant one and I would say that if you are looking for fine dining in a urban feeling, semi-casual atmosphere, you too should go and try the wonderful food and service that they provide.

Everyone that we met at Hotel 71 made the experience both special and memorable and from what I could see, they treated every one of their guests with the same respect and professionalism. I would definitely satay at this hotel again if given the chance and I would highly recommend that you too consider the same if you are looking for a fun way to reconnect with a loved one, or if you are simply trying to get away for a weekend!

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site’s Disclaimer for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.