podcaster - Dad of Divas

Our 716th Dad in the Limelight is podcaster and law expert, Gordon Firemark. I want to thank Gordon Firemark for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Gordon Firemark with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I’m Gordon Firemark by day, I’m a solo-practice lawyer from Los Angeles, where I practice entertainment law, specifically in the fields of Theatre, Film and TV. I host three podcasts, a youtube channel, and a blog. I’m a sought after expert on legal issues in theatre, independent film, and podcasting, and I’ve produced a few plays and musicals myself.

I’ve also got a side-business creating and marketing e-learning courses: Power Podcasting for Lawyers, where I teach lawyers the art technology, and strategies of podcasting; and Theatre Producer Academy, for theatre lovers who have a burning, irrational desire to produce plays and musicals. If I had much time to indulge hobbies, they’d be photography, movies and cooking. I’m also a techno geek. I love my toys: cameras, microphones and audio gear, computers, etc.

2) Tell me about your family
I’m married to the best woman in the whole world. Cassandra is a devoted wife and mother and a health and nutrition oriented life-coach. Our three kids are Nathaniel (8), Liliana (6) and Benjamin (3). It’s a sometimes controlled kind of chaos around here. Did I mention that I work from my home much of the time? Oy.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Acknowledging myself as a good father and provider. I’m my own worst critic, and I beat myself up about things like spending more quality time with the family, playing with the kids more, yelling less, etc. But ultimately, I know I’m a good dad, but that inner voice sometimes has other views.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Lead by example. Show your kids how a man should treat a woman by treating their mother accordingly. Show them how a father should behave by behaving accordingly. Don’t let “Man stuff” prevent you from showing your “dad stuff”. Play… Be silly, have fun… And enjoy the ride. Like most roller coasters, this one will be over too soon.

Trust your instincts. Be the protector. Be the hero. But let them see your flaws. Chinks in the armor are what make us human and lovable. And most of all.. express your love for your family easily, often and grandly.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
I don’t always feel that I have, but I try to make family the priority first. It’s about setting boundaries. I’m fortunate that I have a business that allows me to be home when the kids leave for school, and again for dinner most nights. I take over from my wife and supervise bedtime most evenings. On weekends, I take them to the park, swimming, or whatever, and let their Mom have her life without kids for a few hours…

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
Well, my own Dad is the role-model of role models. He taught me everything there is about what it means to be a great dad. And, I have to say, a little therapy has helped me see where he could’ve done better, too. Mostly, I try to emulate him. Being present, both physically and emotionally, is so important. I see other dads at the park, sitting with cel phone in hand or to the ear, and their kids just clamoring for attention. That’s the guy I don’t want to be. If I’m with my family, I want them to feel that I’m actually with them.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far? What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
I had a fairly serious illness and hospitalization last year. At 49, I had a few days wondering whether I’d make it to 50… (I did, and am fully recovered). That really got me thinking about those kids, and how much they need me. Taking care of ourselves is so important. If not for yourself, you do it for the people who depend on you.

I have one practice that I wish more parents would do. About three times a year, I sit down with each of my kids, and interview them on video (just sitting at the computer with the webcam or with the cel phone). And I ask them questions about themselves, their favorite foods, toys, school, etc., It’s become a bit of a tradition for us, and I really enjoy looking back at them videos. I know it’ll be even better as they get older, and can go back to watch themselves grow up. I think it’s a gift to them, and to their kids someday…

If you have any questions for Gordon Firemark, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Our 714th Dad in the Limelight is Colin Gray, Managing Director of The Podcast Host Podcast. I want to thank Colin Gray for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Colin Gray with all of you.

Colin Gray is the 714th Dad being spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight series on the Dad of Divas Blog

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Colin Gray and I’m a mid-30s guy from Dundee in Scotland who’s run a few businesses over the years, mainly as an excuse to avoid ever having a real job. These days my work passion is Podcasting. My company helps anyone or any business to create their own show, and to grow a legion of loyal fans based around their knowledge and experience. I run a few podcasts of my own, and I do a fair bit of public speaking on the subject. Other than that, I’m really interested in the startup world, and the whole subject of starting and running a sustainable, successful and ethical business.

2) Tell me about your family

I have a brilliant wife and two little menaces…eh, I mean kids. My wife’s a doctor and we met right around when I turned 30 and were both living in Edinburgh. A few years later we had our son, who’s now 4, and then came our daughter, who’s now 2. Al is great fun now, starting to get into games and sports and all the fun things. And Dee is a wee radge who tyrannises the rest of the family, getting her own way at least 95% of the time.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Dealing with losing a whole lot of my own time. I’ve always been a guy that enjoys his own company and spends them on too many hobbies. Sometimes I grudge the fact that I can’t go out biking whenever I want, or go off and play cards with a few friends. In the early days I struggled because young babies don’t necessarily give a whole lot back, and I would feel like I was just passing the time when with them. It still challenges me, but I’m figuring it out – see below!

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

If you’re not a ‘baby guy’ it’s fine. I’m not. I would step in front of a bullet for my kids when they were babies, of course, but I have to admit, I found the first year more boring than exciting, as I mentioned above. When personlity comes, though, it all changes. You can start to get something back, to teach, to play. Nowadays, I find ways to make time with them ‘my time’ even if it’s doing something I wouldn’t exactly choose to do on my own! I love teaching them new things, so that’s always a great one, and I’m a geek so finding games to play with them is brilliant too. Even if it’s just helping my daughter to arrange her little toy kitchen, I’ll do silly things like do my stretches at the same time. I can sit in a squat and help Dee put her dollies to bed at the same time no bother!

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

My wife and I have come to realise that scheduled time might seem like the most boring and anal thing ever, but that it’s just essential when you have kids. We try to share the mornings out for time by ourselves. Eg. I’ll have Saturday until midday to do whatever I want, and she’ll have Sunday till midday. So, if I get up early, I can get out on the bike for a few hours, easy. That’s great. Evenings, too. We try to organise games nights during the week, or a regular evening with friends. When we first talked about it, it made me feel like I was turning into an accountant for our time – I grudged the discipline – but I love that quote: “Through discipline comes freedom.”

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

One of the best lessons I got, ever, went like this: “Just remember, no matter what they’re doing, what you’re going through, it’s only a phase!” When times are bad – they’re up 3 times in the night, they’re not going to the toilet – it’s a phase. It’ll end. And when times are good – they’re nice, they’re behaved, they’re loving you – it’s a phase. It’ll end. So appreciate it while it lasts!

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Don’t get pressured into doing things too early. Toilet training was a good example for us. All our pals were starting to toilet train their kids around 2 years old. And they were having a nightmare. Cleaning up all over the place. We waited. We thought, where’s the rush? Coming on for 2 and a half, we tried Al once, over a couple of days, and he didn’t get it. So we put the nappies back on. Maybe 6 months later, probably a little older than 3, we tried again. And he just got it, right away. He could talk reasonably well by then, so we could explain it! We get pressured into doing things by the ‘milestones’ forgetting that they’re all ready at different times. You’ll make your life so much easier just waiting until they’re ready and ignoring the ‘type A’ parents who’re competing on everything.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The most memorable thing for me, so far, was a moment probably 6 months ago or so when our two kids suddenly seemed to discover that it was possible to like each other. Up until then they were just like two beings coexisting, tolerating each other’s presence and living life separately. Now, we walk by a room and see them with their heads together playing with a toy and chattering away about it. It’s amazing – shows you that they’re these independent little things that can have relationships of their own outside of you. That’s brilliant, a proud moment, but also quite sad and terrifying. It makes me appreciate time with them right now a little more, because I’m suddenly aware that I and my wife wont be the whole world to them for much longer…..

If you have any questions for Colin Gray, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Gordon Firemark

Dads in the Limelight – Colin Gray of The Podcast Host podcast