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One Dad's Quest to Regain Control of his Kingdom

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Making Life Easier When Moving Home

October 22, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Moving home can be an exciting and equally challenging time in anyone’s life. It’s something that everybody decides is going to be a great challenge, and takes on with high energy and enthusiasm generally. But by the time we’ve moved into a new property and settled the kettle into the right place. It can feel as though we have been steamrollered into our new home rather than moved in happily. Most people find a period of stress because after moving home. And this is quite common and to be expected. So There are many ways in which you can reduce the burden of moving home, with just a little bit of forethought and delegation.

Making Life Easier When Moving Home

Photo by George Bonev on Unsplash

 

Removal companies

On the actual day of moving home, you should have everything in place that means you can pack up and go without any trouble. This isn’t always the case, and there is always something that crops up in the meantime, so it’s always best to ensure that you have a removal company such as https://www.mybekins.com/locations/beverly-hills-ca-movers/, to help you along the way removals companies can help you with a relocation and take a lot of the pressure away from the actual moving day. Let’s face it packing, and packing is stressful enough as it is, loading and unloading the van on top of this can be too much.

 

Decluttering

There is literally no point in moving items that you haven’t used for over six months. It’s essential to look through everything that you own before proceeding, and while packing this is an excellent opportunity to fill up some boxes for the charity shop. Don’t underestimate the power of decluttering, and downsizing your items before actually getting on that removals van. You won’t regret doing this, just be careful not to throw any keepsakes away in the process!

 

Time off work

Taking time off work might not be an option, but if you know that you’re going to be moving home in the near future, you must give yourself space and time to do so effectively. Taking the day off while you actually move and maybe a few days later to start the unpacking is a great idea. A lot of people booked the week off around a move, the reason for this is that your mind isn’t going to be on your work 100% while you’re at work. And your account is it going to be on the packet 100% while you’re still having to get to work during the day. So giving yourself time to get things done will be something else thank yourself for later

 

Writing lists, and making sure that you stick to those lists, creating a new home for you and your loved ones, and personalising your space are all things to look forward to when moving home. But try not to allow the actual move cause you too much stress. As it always works out in the end And we should all be happy moving into our new homes. The fresh start is great for everyone.

 

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: moving, moving home, moving tips

Things to Consider When Moving with Kids

June 22, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Things to Consider When Moving with Kids

Moving house can bring about a wealth of different emotions. There’s excitement, worry, fear, joy, and sometimes even laughter. There’s also a certain amount of stress involved, especially if there are kids in the equation. Luckily, there are a number of things you can do to ease the strain on the family and make the process of moving as smooth as possible. Here are some tips to make your next family move an adventure.

  • Before You Move

There are plenty of things you can do before you move that will make things much easier. Start by holding a family meeting and discussing the moving plans with your kids. If they’re old enough, it’ll be possible to include them in some of the decision making. Take the opportunity to visit your new home as a family or take a virtual tour if it’s too far away. Young children will benefit from learning about the experience of moving, and there is a range of different story books you can read together. If you’ve got friends and family that are offering to help, take them up on their offers. It never helps if you try to take too much on yourself.

Don’t forget to organize your utilities in your new home, including insurance. If you need the best renters insurance NYC, Jetty.com can help.

  • Packing and Decluttering

Moving house is the perfect opportunity to declutter. Consider adopting this rule of thumb: if you haven’t used something in the last year, then toss it. Try to put any items you don’t want to good use. It might be possible to sell them or donate them. Throwing things in the trash should be a last resort. When it comes to packing enlist the help of your kids, especially their own bedrooms. Give them some boxes and let them write on them to show what’s inside. Leave their favorite toys out until the last minute and pack everything else. Have one box packed with all the essentials you’ll need at the new house, for example, a kettle, bowls, and cups.

  • Moving Day

When moving day comes, make it a joyful occasion. Pack a picnic basket to be enjoyed along the way. Make sure all the tools you need for assembling the kids’ beds are easily accessible and have fresh sheets ready to hand so that they have somewhere comfortable to sleep on their first night. Your priority should be to get the kids’ rooms set up first and to make them as homely as possible. If you’ve got young children, it might be better if the move takes place when they’re at school or daycare. That way, you don’t have to worry about them getting under your feet.

  • In Your New Home

Prioritize your unpacking. The bedrooms and kitchen should be a priority and then concentrate on getting the bathroom ready to use. Keep things as similar as possible to your old house and let them set up, decorate, and move items around as they see fit. You may notice a change in their behavior over the next few weeks. This is not uncommon. Just be understanding and give them time to settle in.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: dad, dads, father, fathers, moving, moving tips, tips, tips for father, tips for fathers, tips for parents, tips when moving

How to Make Moving to A New House Stress-Free

February 27, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

How to Make Moving to A New House Stress-Free

You may have already found yourself in this situation before, and you may not have; regardless, moving to a new house is widely known to be a stressful experience for everyone in the family. Whether you are moving away from your beloved local area, or just down the street, there are worries that come with taking such a big step into the next part of your life. When you have kids, this process can become even more stressful, but there are luckily a number of tips you can follow which will make moving day go extra smoothly. This could even result in it being a way of spending some quality time together as a family.

 

Make a list of what needs packing

This is the part of moving that you will find the most tedious, and you may be thinking that it isn’t useful when you will be taking everything in your house with you. Yet, you will still end up leaving something behind that you may not be able to retrieve for a long time, if ever. Making a list doesn’t only enable you to make sure you have all your possessions packed, but it is a chance for you to start separating your stuff into categories before you start boxing them up. For example, some people like to list based on which room their belongings will be going into in the new house. Once you have made your list, this will make packing a simple case of ticking off every item from the notebook in your hand, rather than running around the house trying to find everything at the last minute.

 

Pack as a family

Packing can take hours, days, and even weeks, depending on how busy your schedule is. It can be a tiring job that doesn’t seem to get any better, even when you are close to the end of it. Rather than doing the packing yourself, and risk losing some of your kids’ items in the process, you could pack as a family. This will at least half the time it takes for you to complete the task yourself and could serve as some valuable tie together. Playing music in the background will help keep the mood light and stresses low as moving day approaches. To make sure the kids are enthusiastic about packing, make it into a game where you can see who can pack as many items as possible in a set amount of time, or award a prize for the neatest packing skills. By doing this, moving will be more of a fond memory over a bad one.

 

Protect any fragile objects

Packing quickly is ideal, but there is a chance that you could be breaking some fragile objects that will appear shattered when you open the boxes in your new home. Unfortunately, many fragile items are those which hold the most value, so it’s important that you steer clear of any accidents that could result in a breakage. Wrapping mugs, plates, and glassware in bubble wrap will cushion them in case they get bashed around when the moving van is transporting your belongings. Keeping jewellery packaged separately from other pieces will make sure they don’t become entangled with each other to the point of no return.

 

Don’t do it by yourself

Many families assume that moving can be completed as a one or two-person job. Though this may be tempting, you will find it a much harder process if you commit to this. The best thing you can do to ensure you are moving all of your possessions in as few van rides as possible is to enlist the help of a trusted moving company like Suddath movers in Jacksonville, Florida, who will be there with you every step of the way. Having such a service on your side means that you can be assured your belongings will be kept safe and intact. It will also provide you with a friendly, reassuring face for the days when moving becomes overwhelming.

 

Show your kids what lies ahead

Packing and moving could be what stressed you out the most during this time, but for many, it is their kids’ reluctance which makes it so hard. It is understandable for a child to feel distressed about moving if you are taking them out of their local school to move far away, and it can often make people feel as if they are making the wrong decision. This is why it’s a great idea to show them what an amazing future lies ahead for them, such as where they could be going to school, and fun things they can do in the new area.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: father, fatherhood, moving, Moving company, moving with kids, parent, parenting

How to Prepare for an International Move

June 27, 2014 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

English: Moving Company employees load a movin...

How to Prepare for an International Move

So, you and your family have made a big decision (or are considering this big decision) to make an international move. This is an exciting and often stressful process, but being prepared will make things go smoothly, which is what you need to enter this new phase of your life with tranquility and purpose.

 

Determine what country you’re moving to.

If the decision has yet to be made, know your statistics when deciding. Knowledge is power–you don’t want to find out unfortunate facts after you’ve already moved and it’s harder to do anything about it. Buy travel books, read local websites and ask around on forums any questions you may have about the location and living conditions. Pilot Guides is a resource site for adventure travelers, but it is useful for researching different countries—featuring forums, information and downloadable videos.

 

United Van Lines

Research international moving companies.

Plan out finances and what features you want help with from your moving company. Some companies offer extended services like the United Van Lines moving service that includes insurance and help with packing. Help packing could be a huge help if you need to move quickly for a sudden job transfer. Insurance, of course, helps protect your valuables, particularly one-of-a-kind items like that family heirloom from your great grandmother.

 

Genehmigung: Motiv: Umzugslift für den Möbeltr...

Take a trip ahead of time.

Go visit the country you’ve decided on if you’ve never been there. You can get a first-hand feel of the culture, language and living conditions. Scope out different areas. Test the popular cuisine. Make it a fun vacation and, if possible, bring your family along to enjoy it as well. This will make adjusting much easier on everyone involved.

 

 

Know the local law.

Laws may be quite different than what you are used to. It is your responsibility to research and make your family aware of what the new laws will be. You also don’t want to show up with prohibited items, which may not have been illegal back home.

 

Passport 2

Get your documents in order.

Not only will your family need their passports and identification, but you will also want copies of your medical records, transcripts and other important pieces of information. Organize them for each family member and keep them somewhere safe.

 

Do your health care homework.

Certain countries may have vaccination requirements. What kind of health care does this country offer? Is it socialized? What will you have to pay to follow up on medical needs. This is particularly important for those who have chronic health conditions or take maintenance medications. You may want to get a long-term supply ordered before you make the move, just to be on the safe side.

 

Get your finances in order.

You may need to transfer funds to the new location, close out bank accounts or cash in on stocks and bonds. Research the currency conversion and, if at all possible, have a large safety net for unexpected expenses. Don’t forget to factor in the cost of moving, down payments on living arrangements, and other living expenses. It will take a little more time and planning than moving to another city.

 

If you plan accordingly, your move will go much smoother and there will be less room for mishaps.

 

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  • Getting Ready to Move
  • 6 Easy DIY Spring Organization Projects
  • 7 Tips For Sending Your Kids To College
  • Teaching Your Kids to Enjoy Hiking @jeffalt #dadchat

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: international move, move, moving, Moving company, United Van Lines

Guest Post – 80% of 2009 College Grads Moved Back With Their Parents – How to Save Money?

May 31, 2010 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

80% of 2009 grads moved back home with their parents – How to save money when moving back and forth?
College grads are feeling the weight of the economy more than ever:  A recent poll shows that among 2009 college graduates, 80% moved back home with their parents after graduation.
It’s a difficult time of the year for both parents and grads, who with no direction and money, end up spending so much on the process of transporting their furniture back and forth.
For those moving long distance, it can be inconvenient and time-consuming to keep traveling to relocate their belongings. Once you calculate the additional costs of driving insurance, mileage, and the rising price of gas costs, moving back home becomes a nightmare.
So parents, here’s a tip:  Moishe’s Mobile is the affordable and convenient moving and storage solution for your undecided and unemployed college grads.
For as little as $79, Moishe’s can have a mobile storage unit delivered outside their place. Grads can pack the container at their own pace (there are no extra charges if they take longer than needed) and when ready one of Moishe’s professionals will come pick it up and take it to a secure storage facility.  There are a variety of sizes of containers, and monthly storage rates start at $60.
No driving, no hassle, and the best of all; more money to save throughout the job search.
About Moishe’s Moving Systems
Moishe’s Moving and Storage was created in 1983. By 1990, Moishe’s became the largest independent moving company in New York City, with a host of movers, a convoy of red trucks and several storage facilities. Five years later, Moishe’s was the largest moving company in the Tri-State area. Today, Moishe’s has hundreds of employees, scores of red trucks and millions of square feet of storage which utilize state-of-the-art technologies to assure the safety and security of their clients’ belongings. Moishe’s operates regional offices across the country and has established six specialized divisions catering to the unique moving and storage needs of thousands of individuals, families and businesses every day.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: graduates, moving, tips for parents

I’m Back….Sort Of

February 7, 2009 by dadofdivas 2 Comments

Well… it has been a long time since I have actually put a post up, sorry to all of my loyal readers. All I can say is that it has been a crazy couple of months. Some of you may know that I found out over the holidays that a job that I had applied for was offered to me, and I decided to accept the offer. So since early January we have been working hard to prepare for the selling of our house as well as packing and the like.

We got very lucky all around as our home ended up selling in three weeks and we found another house in Michigan where we are moving in the next few weeks and got a good price accepted. So all of the pieces of the puzzle seem to be falling into place. Now we have about 2.5 weeks until we will be moving and a lot of things to accomplish in that amount of time.

Recently I went back to reading my earlier guest posts on moving with kids to allow me to think about what to do to prepare my girls for our departure. The three posts:

The Pre Move
The Move
The Post Move

I know that I have a lot to do to make sure that especially Diva-J can adjust to not only a new home, but also a new school, community, friends, etc, etc, etc.

With the new job, I will do what I can to be able to blog again as I can, but I do appreciate your patience as things are changing in the Divadom!

If there are any topics that you are interested in me talking about in the future, please let me know.


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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blogging, moving, moving with kids

Moving With Kids – The Post-Move

September 8, 2008 by dadofdivas 3 Comments

This is the third part in a series of three that talks about moving with children and things that you and I can do to assist them and lessen their overall concerns and stress during this period of time. In case you missed it you can read the first part of our series, I encourage you all to read about how to assist children during the Pre-Move as well as the second part of assisting children during the move.

I asked Jeremy from Discovering Dad, Tyler from Building Camelot, Joey from Daddybrain, and Josh from Raging Dad to share their experiences with you. I hope you will enjoy this series and look forward to your comments!
————————————————————————————————- Similar to losing a loved one, kids need time to mourn the move. You may need time for this as well. Personally, I’ve never felt the need to do so, but others in the family have and I respect their needs. I also try to create an environment where I validate their feelings, even if I rarely agree with them. Each move we’ve made has been for the right reasons, so while it may not be “perfect” at the time I always viewed us as being one step closer to our goals in life. As such, after the move, just like before the move, I always try to maintain a positive attitude and help family members find the good in the situation.

One thing that made a big difference in this last move was the kids’ rooms. We had our house built for us, and we made sure that all of the kids’ rooms would be bigger than in our previous home. Then, we also made plans ahead of time to make the rooms comfortable and perceptibly better than before. Beyond the home itself, we also tried to find things within the neighborhood or community to do to connect with other families.
With every new friend and fun activity, the whine fest lessened. Usually, within a few weeks, life got back to normal. Within a few months, my daughter would call the new place home. It might seem like a small thing, but I always tried to use the word “home” in reference to our new house as often as possible, just to reinforce that we were moving forward from this place in time.

When I really think about it, I used the same tactics with the move as I did with most other negative or stressful situations with my kids – I used the art of distraction until they were able to accept things on their own. The few times it got really bad though, I did have to explain that the decision was made for reasons that could choose to accept or not; however, we weren’t changing our minds and everyone needed to make the best of the current situation.

Moving is a very hard and stressful thing, and it is really important in situations with kids involved that the parents are looking for every opportunity to guide, lead and support with love. When you do those things, you create a safe environment for them to explore a new world and let go of the old one.
————————————————————————————————- Olivia had as much fun unpacking boxes as she did packing them. She was excited to be in the new house and we were very fortunate that she made the transition pretty easily. A few days into the new house, she started to ask about the other house and wanted to “go home”. We kept telling her that this is our home now and both mommy and daddy and Olivia had new rooms. I think she only asked a few times and then it became a distant memory. One time, about 2-3 weeks after we moved, we drove by the old house and Olivia started saying “Our home, our home!”. We kept driving because we didn’t want her to get confused. It’s amazing to me, even to this day, what kids can remember and recall.
In a few of our visits to the new house, we had met some new neighbors. We met a family that has a daughter a little younger than Olivia and they hit it off pretty early. This gave us another point of discussion with our daughter about moving to the new house. We have since met other families with younger children. On our old street, she had not made any friends and knowing that there were going to be some other kids around help Olivia and mommy and daddy.

————————————————————————————————- My wife was amazing with this. She joined a local mom’s group, which immediately introduced my wife and kids to the local community. None of them were left alone and isolated in the house because my wife took the initiative, found the group and began attending events right away.

I, on the other hand, went to work for about 11.5 hours a day. After working from home for over three years, this was quite a shock and adjustment. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever “adjust.” I liked working from home and being a key player in the daily events of the family.

We moved into a neighborhood that was a little older (16 years). It is warm and inviting with plenty of trees, and a park down the street. The backyard is almost 10,000 square feet, so the kids love it (it’s a pain to mow though). We made sure the local school was one of the better ones (again, thanks to my wife). Basically, we placed ourselves in an environment that was far superior to where we were.

I’m sorry I don’t have better answers.

I do have to say that we all struggle with the isolation felt from being 800 miles away from everyone we love. There are no visits to grandma’s and grandpa’s house. There is not help for us when we’re at our wits end. It’s just us – 24/7 – and it feels pretty grueling.

I know you are looking for positive transition tips, but the cold hard fact is that this is tough. Very, very tough. Our quality of life is great out here, although my job has a higher stress level than that of NYC.
But what is being sacrificed? Time for our kids to be with their families. Which is irreplaceable.
Thanks for listening. I hope this helps.
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We have been in Portland for two years now, and I can say without hesitation that relocating across the country has been the greatest challenge of our lives.
To meet other parents, we joined a parents-of-multiples organization, but found it to be very cliquey and hard to break into. This was surprising, because we really counted on using that as a way to meet other parents who were dealing with similar challenges as we were. The mommy crowd in Portland is hard to crack in to.
Our first success was when our daughter Connie began to attend a preschool/dance academy. Many of the parents who sent their kids there were wealthy (we are not), and at first it was hard to make connections with parents there as well. But thanks to our daughter, we became friends with a wonderful couple who had two girls and seemed to share many of our interests.
I had built many connections with coworkers, some of them with kids, but it did not prove to be the easy way of making connections for my wife or our family. Only now, two years later, are we starting to feel as though we are getting networked into the community. Again, that is due to our kids. Connie started playing in a soccer league, and starts kindergarten this week. Our boys begin preschool this week as well, so there are three instant outlets for meeting new people to connect with.
Being so far from family has been difficult, and the high costs of traveling have limited our ability to get back to Minnesota, and for relatives to come out here to see us in our new city. We have found that timing the visits from family is important, trying to have someone coming every four to six months. When the stretches are longer than that, it is very hard on my wife and the kids. Because we flew back the last two summers, we may not be able to go next year, and we are worried about the impact that will have on us emotionally.
All in all, we love our new home. It is a better house than we had in Minnesota, and I am very satisfied with my new job. The bottom line is that for two years, we keep looking forward to being settled in, to feeling as though we have a sense of place here in Portland. I think the kids and I have found that place. My wife is doing so much better than when we first came, and I have to say that she is an amazing woman for being willing to make the leap of faith to try such a thing as moving far away from her family. While this has been our greatest challenge, we believe that we are starting to see that there is going to be happiness for us here in our new city.
Not everything in life is easy, and moving is no exception. I really think that every family’s experience is going to be very unique, but hopefully, there are some lessons in here that might help in the preparation. The most important piece of advice I can give to a family considering a long-distance relocation is to go into it knowing that it will challenge your relationship in ways it has not yet been challenged. We underestimated how difficult it would be, and thankfully, we have an incredibly strong relationship and wonderful children who have managed to survive, and even thrive in this new world we have made for ourselves.

————————————————————————————————- New to the Divadom?
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Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: building camelot, daddy brain, discovering dad, father, guest post, moving, moving with kids, raging dad, tips for dads, tips for fathers

Moving With Kids – The Move

September 4, 2008 by dadofdivas 5 Comments

This is the second part in a series of three that talks about moving with children and things that you and I can do to assist them and lessen their overall concerns and stress during this period of time. In case you missed it you can read the first part of our series, I encourage you all to read about how to assist children during the Pre-Move.

I asked Jeremy from Discovering Dad, Tyler from Building Camelot, Joey from Daddybrain, and Josh from Raging Dad to share their experiences with you. I hope you will enjoy this series and look forward to your comments!
————————————————————————————————-

Everyone needs to have enough time to say goodbye. Give hugs. Cry it out. Give out the new address. Wave out the back window of the car. Drive off into the sunset. If only it were that easy. Moves are hard. They are one of the most stressful things a family can do, if only from a logistical perspective. It is mentally and physically exhausting, especially if you’re moving a significant distance. If it’s a long car ride, you can count on the mood to be somber and, perhaps, emotional.

Although I admit this to be something difficult for me (empathy is not my biggest strength), people need to be given the chance to release their emotions safely during a move. If not, then it will be hard to move on in a more figurative sense with your life in the new location. As a father, I tend to try and listen, while fighting the urge to “fix” things for my family when they are stressed. When we moved to our current house, we had to live in an extended stay hotel for several months while construction finished. Let me tell you, there was no amount of effort big enough to “fix” the frustration of being cramped in a small space for days on end, living in flux.

As for the physical move itself, we have always taken the same approach as family vacations: the more distractions the better. Driving in a car or rental truck for hours on end may seem like a great time for teaching kids new things, but in my experience, this is a huge mistake. Let the kids do mindless things, so that they can become engrossed in an activity rather than wallowing in their sadness about the move. You will be better equipped to listen and talk things through with them without the distraction of driving or car sickness. If you’re moving and you don’t have a portable DVD player (or one built into your vehicle), then I highly recommend getting one, especially if you have young kids. It will pay for itself many times over in stress reduction during long trips in the car.
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While our house was on the market, my wife and I made every attempt to clean out all the closets, cabinets, dressers, attic, etc. and donate large amount of stuff to the local Salvation Army. This was a tremendous help because once we sold the house, and knew without a doubt that we were moving, we had a lot less to pack. We let Olivia help pack a lot of non-breakable items so she could feel like a part of the process. It also gave us additional opportunities to talk to her about moving into a “new” house with a “new room”. I think she played with cups and mugs more than she actually packed, but seeing the boxes around the house was a reminder that we were going to move.

The actual moving day was very hectic. We closed on both houses AND moved all in one day. For us, we wanted to keep her routine the same so we took Olivia to daycare. We told her that today was the last day in the house and after daycare, we’d sleep in her new room. She was very excited and kept asking, “See my new room tonight?”. I think the regular trips to the new house and all the discussions surround the new house really helped her with the transition.
————————————————————————————————- I don’t have a really good answer here. It was stressful. Especially with a one-month old. We didn’t want to leave NY, we simply didn’t have a choice.

That being said, listening to Max, answering his questions and letting him know what was going on, worked pretty well. Overall, he was very excited.

I think too often, adults think young kids don’t understand what’s going on, so they don’t bother to really communicate with them. Although a two-year-old may not fully comprehend the event, they are people too, and deserve to be “kept in the loop,” and respected.
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Selling our house was so difficult, that it was beginning to look like I might have to return to Minnesota and abandon our plans for relocating to Portland. However, I had quit my job already and had no options for going back. Plus, I was committed to my new employer and had signed relocation agreements. We decided that if this move was going to happen, we had to get the entire family out to Portland, post haste.

We decided to drive the family across the country, rather than fly. Though it would take far longer, we hoped that it would give us a sense of perspective, of where we were in comparison to our home of 30-some years. At the time, my twin boys were two years old, and my daughter was four. All of our possessions left in a moving truck, and we hit the road in our minivan armed with a DVD player and dozens of movies.

While the 1700-mile drive could be done in three days, we decided to take it at a slower pace and reward the kids with pool time in a hotel at the end of each day. Having some time to get out of the car was critical for the sanity of our kids, even though my wife and I wanted to keep going.
While I was back in Portland, I prepared our house for the rest of the family. We let the kids select the colors of their rooms, which proved to be a good way to get them engaged in the new environment before they got there. By the time we rolled into the new city, they were excited to see their new rooms.

The single most challenging part of the entire process was being apart for three months during the move. The stress that was created for my wife was tremendous, as she had to keep the house clean and ready to be seen by purchasers, while taking three wild children all on her own.
Comparatively, the actual move was much easier than the preparation and the challenges that would come as we settled into our new home and community.

————————————————————————————————- New to the Divadom?
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Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: building camelot, daddy brain, discovering dad, father, guest post, moving, moving with kids, raging dad, tips for dads, tips for fathers

Moving With Kids – The Pre-Move

September 2, 2008 by dadofdivas 2 Comments

I was recently thinking about this and saying to myself, what should a parent do to ease the stress on a child when a move is imminent. Over the next few days I will bring you some sage wisdom from four dads that I have recruited that have experiences moving with their kids in different ways.

I asked Jeremy from Discovering Dad, Tyler from Building Camelot, Joey from Daddybrain, and Josh from Raging Dad to share their experiences with you. I hope you will enjoy this series and look forward to your comments!
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Attitude is everything. If mom or dad are excited, upset or somewhere in the middle, then it has been my experience that the kids mirror that attitude with regard to a move both before and after it happens. My oldest daughter has experienced multiple moves throughout her life, although we have been settled for more than 4 years in our home now.

Each move was different, and it depended largely on where she was at in her developmental stage in life as to what information was shared or not. During her younger years, we moved twice – once near my parents and the other near her other grandparents, so we focused in on those things that she found exciting.

As a young child, she could have cared less. In fact, after we told her, she would pack her little princess bag and be ready to go that night, even though we were weeks away. As she got older, and more attached to her friends at school, things got harder to “sell” as being positive. We always tried to reassure her that she would make new friends, and new beginnings meant new opportunity to make life even better. The good thing about kids, including my daughter, is that they are incredibly resilient, as long as they receive proper support from mom and dad.

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When we moved into our new house a little over a year ago, our daughter was almost two. The world was exciting to her at the time and when we took her house hunting she had a blast running around the rooms and up and down all the steps. We didn’t have to look long because we found some new construction in the city in a safe and established neighborhood. We took our daughter into the model home a couple of times and let her just wander around the house. While we were there we would ask “Do you like it here?”, “Would you like to have a room here?” and she would always say “Yes”.

A few days later we put a contract on a muddy mess of a lot. It was early January and they were about to start pouring the foundation for the floor plan we loved and it was the best lot available. Over the next few months, we were able to take Olivia to the lot and show her the house being built. I think it really helped her understand what was going on and allowed us to talk about the new house while we were at home. It didn’t take long for her to start asking us about “my new house” and “my new room”. After I would pick her up from daycare, she would ask, “We go see my new room?” quickly followed by “We go see my new house?”. I think she was looking forward to the new house.

I think what really helped was how much my wife and I talked about the new house. It didn’t hurt that we visited the new house at least once a week. If you’re moving into an existing home you obviously don’t have that luxury. As long as you and your wife talk about the move, the “new” house and the “new” rooms, I think the transition will be a little less stressful.
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Our first son, Max, was only 2 1/2 when I accepted my job out here in Wisconsin. My second son, Joss, was still inutero.

We were very honest with Max right away as to what was going on. We let him know that we’d be moving to Wisconsin, and we’d have a house of our own with a beautiful backyard (this was one of our house requirements). We told him he’s have a room of his own. We were living in an apartment at the time, with a drug addict, alcoholic, chain smoker living in the basement – it wasn’t pretty.

We all watched videos of different homes that I filmed while commuting out here. Since my second son was now just a newborn, we wanted to wait a little bit before moving the whole family out here.

So I was out here by myself each week, living in t temporary housing. Each night after work I’d see some homes with my realtor, Phil Carouso (great guy). I’d film them and show them to the family when I got back to NY.

Max, who was very advanced for a 2-year old, was an active participant in the house-choosing process. He gave his most excellent opinion on each house we viewed.
We read books to Max about moving, going on an airplane and what it would be like to move to a far away city. We didn’t want Max to be surprised by anything that was going to happen.
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In early 2006, I began looking for a new job, and my wife and I agreedthat looking out of state would be an option for us. My wife and Iwere high school sweethearts who had moved from rural, small town Minnesota to the bustling Twin Cities for college. Neither of us hadlived outside of the land of 10,000 lakes. On the plus side, we had anincredible support network of family and friends. However, we enviedour friends who had experienced living in other places. With our kidsstill young—a daughter, 4; and twin sons, 2—this was the ideal timefor us to give it a try, if there is such a thing as an ideal time.

After six months of job hunting, things finally fell in place and I landed a job in Portland, Ore. I accepted an offer in June 2006, andwas to start work at the beginning of August. This meant that we hadonly two months to get the house ready, put it on the market, and bidfarewell to our family and friends. The biggest challenge for our kidswas going to be leaving their cousins and grandparents, who they arebest of friends with, and were used to seeing each other regularly.

We explained to the kids that we were moving to another part of thecountry, and would not be able to see our family members as frequentlyas we were accustomed to. This didn’t have much meaning for any ofthem. We tried showing them maps and talking about the distance, but it was far too abstract. The best tool we found was a globe, which thekids seemed to find more interesting. Even so, we could tell that itwas going to be difficult to prepare them mentally for the move, andthe radical change in our social and familial networks.

The For Sale sign on our house went up just as the housing market fellinto the toilet. It was rapidly looking like I would have to go out toPortland on my own until the house sold. At the end of July, I set offalone across the country, into the west without my family. For me,this marked the beginning of the actual move. For my family—especiallymy children—this was only the beginning of understanding what washappening to our family. The maps and globes were abstract tools toexplain a theoretical process of pulling up our roots; my complete andtotal absence for three months was a profound signal of changes tocome. From this point on, every day would only bring greater stress,and greater challenge.


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Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: building camelot, daddy brain, discovering dad, father, guest post, moving, moving with kids, raging dad, tips for dads, tips for fathers

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