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One Dad's Quest to Regain Control of his Kingdom

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The smell of grease paint: Sharing your passions with your kids

March 14, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

A picture of Chris Lewis and Grayce Warren from high school at the end of our senior year high school musical, The Pajama Game

Is there something that you did as a young person that you want to share with your own kids? Where you an athlete? And actor? An artist? Do you encourage your kids to follow your footsteps? How are you sharing your passions with your kids?

Growing up , I was involved in a lot of different things. Once middle school and high school hit, I was involved in many student organizations as well as band, choir, and Theater. I was the type of person that was active in many things and excelled at many things.

A photo of the seniors in the marching band in my high school

When I became a father I knew that I wanted to share my love of the arts with my kids, but I didn’t know how they would I knew that I wanted to share I love of the Arts with my kids, but I didn’t know how they would react or connect with it. I’ve never been the type of dad at that would force my past experiences on them, or Woodforest them to try something they weren’t interested in. I do encourage them to the willing and open to new experiences though, as I think this is in important part of being culturally well rounded.

Officers within the high school drama club when Chris Lewis was the President of the club

From an early age I shared some of the videos of myself doing musicals in highschool with my kids. I let them see me in marching band competitions, being silly, being young. While this place me in a vulnerable position as a father, I think it also allowed my kids to connect with me in a deeper more meaningful way.

A photo of students in the Acting class that I was in during college at Western Michigan University

I still love to share my love of the Arts with the kids. I love to take my daughters to professional musicals and talk to them afterwards about what they like and what they learned. It is my hope that this is something that they will continue to enjoy because for me it is a way that I can continue to connect with them no matter what age they are at, and it allows me to have a deeper bond with them as well.

A picture of Chris Lewis from high school at the end of our senior year high school musical, The Pajama Game

What are some ways that you share your past experiences and passions with your kids? How they reacted? What do you still want to share with them in the future?

I look forward to your thoughts!

Filed Under: dads with daughters, fatherhood Tagged With: arts, creativity, fatherhood, memories, passion, sharing your passions

The return of the robins and other memories to share

March 8, 2016 by dadofdivas 1 Comment

The sure sign of spring in Michigan is the return of the Robins
 photo disclaimer_zpsaa1cb05b.jpg

Are there moments in the year, in your life, or in the life of your family that continue to come back and you late and are a reminder things to come?

For me, one of these memories has always been the return of Robins to our yard into a local community. Being from Michigan, the state bird, the Robin, is not only a beautiful bird but it also is a sign of spring, a sign of renewal, and of things to come.

This symbol for me also is a memory, because I grew up always watching for this bird with my parents and now I do with my own daughters. Memories are so important and building memories with your kids is even more important.

The strange thing about building memories is that many times, the memories that you are hoping to build are not the ones that your kids will come back to you time and time again. Many times, the memories that resonate are the small moments, and moments where you spend time out of your day, the one on one time that you have with them that they remember most.

It’s strange, our time with our kids is fleeting and we have fathers do everything that we can to create safe, loving environment for our kids and for our families. However, even though many of us feel like we have to hustle to do everything that we can to get by and to survive and thrive,. For our kids, it is not the hospital that they appreciate, it is the time, and the memories that are most important.

What memories have you created with your own kids? What memories do you want to create with your kids?

 

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Filed Under: dads with daughters, fatherhood Tagged With: father, fatherhood, memories

Open Your Eyes To The #UnscriptedBeauty Around You!

June 5, 2015 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

#UnscriptedBeauty
“I participated in a Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for AVEENO. I received product samples as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.”

 

So many of the moments in a parent’s life are scripted. You get up at a similar time each day; you go through your morning routine; you go to work or stay with the kids; you come home; make dinner; get the kids ready for bed; relax; sleep – rinse and repeat each day, or so it seems. However, it is all of the time between these regular daily tasks, the moments that are unexpected that really lead to #UnscriptedBeauty within your parenting and overall life in general.

As a father there have been many moments of #UnscriptedBeauty throughout my life as a dad. Many of them though have come when my kids and I have just gotten on the floor, pulled out crayons, or a myriad of toys and just let loose. There were so many times when unscripted play turned into me being seen as horse to be ridden. In my daughters’ eyes I was always the author of the stories around our home for better or worse).  This sometimes was a large burden to bear, but that being said, I held it high and worked hard to try and create an environment where many can come to create their own stories worth sharing. Some of this creativity and flexibility manifested itself earlier this year encouraging my eldest, Diva-J to write down the mystery stories she was thinking about and sharing with others and then we worked together to begin the process to transcribe her words to the computer instead of being held only in her writing journal.

#UnscriptedBeauty

I can also remember tender words shared by my girls with me. Simple “I love you daddy” or other conversations at bedtime that were special and timeless. These moments were ones that you cannot simply create. These are unscripted moments that simply happen because of the love that you have and that you share with your kids.

So many of these moments led to such #UnscriptedBeauty within our home. In a recent study by AVEENO that I read, it shared that 3 quarters of U.S. women say that “unscripted” moments are more beautiful than those that are perfectly planned. While I am not a woman, I have to agree.  At the end of the day, it’s sharing candid, unscripted moments that build authentic relationships and while some of these moments may seem small in comparison to what some of you may have experienced, they are the moments that mean so much and are the ones that I remember most too.

I am loving that AVEENO is flipping-the-script by creating an #UnscriptedBeauty Movement, encouraging men and women to embrace the natural beauty of a life that doesn’t always go as planned.

Use #AVEENO #UnscriptedBeauty to share your moments.

Other moments of #UnscriptedBeauty can be seen on the Aveeno Facebook page.

 

You can get in on the fun too with the AVEENO #UnscriptedBeauty Photo Contest!

 

In order to be eligible to win, please include #Contest. If you do not wish to enter, though, #Contest can be left off.

To enter, simply upload a photo of your favorite Unscripted Beauty moment to Instagram and include #UnscriptedBeauty, #AVEENO, and #Contest

o   The winner will receive a photo shoot with acclaimed photographer, Danielle Guenther!

 

Giveaway

How would you like to win a AVEENO Daily Care Gift Set for yourself or for your family? All you need to do is fill out the below form to be entered.  The contest will run for one week and will end on May 16, 2015.

Winner must be a resident of the U.S.

AVEENO Daily Care Gift Set

Winners are chosen at random, if you want all your chances counted, make sure you leave individual comments, not all of them in one!

Winner has 48 hours to contact me or another name will be chosen.

 

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Filed Under: fatherhood, giveaway Tagged With: #UnscriptedBeauty, Aveeno, dad, father, fatherhood, memories, parenting, unplanned moments

Tuesday Talking – I Want Them To Remember Their Great Grandmother

April 7, 2015 by dadofdivas 3 Comments

Talking-Tuesday

I Want Them To Remember Their Great Grandmother

Josephine-VentoI remember growing up that I had very few great-grandparents. Thinking back on this now, I had three that were living at least until I was about eight years old. As I get older, I can reflect on these times and still have memories of these individuals and faint recollections of who they were, what they liked, and how they treated me.

Josephine-Vento

My daughters only had one great grandmother, as all of their other great grandparents had passed on before they were born. Luckily, their great-grandmother was someone that they were able to speak with frequently and see at least once or twice a year. She lived until she was 90, and passed on December 18, 2014.

Josephine-Vento

Since her passing, we have been planning a memorial service that will occur on April 12, 2015 in the town that she grew up in, Silver Creek, New York. My kids have never been to Silver Creek but their great-grandmother’s sister still lives in the home that she grew up in and I hope that we can have some time to be able to show my girls this house and let them hear from their great aunt some of the stories that she can still share.

Josephine-Vento

I want my daughters to remember their great-grandmother. I want to share her story is that I have with them, and I want them to remember her for the time that they had, but also the life that she lived. I know that my oldest will remember her great-grandmother as she had more time with her. I do worry at times that my youngest, who is only seven, will start to have less memory of her as she gets older.

Josephine-Vento

As a photographer I am happy that I took many pictures of my girls with their great-grandmother, as I do not have many pictures of myself with my own great-grandparents. Looking back on this now, I think this is a gift that all parents can and should share with their kids if they can.

Josephine-Vento

As my kids get older I hope to be able to share with them the research that their mother and I have done on our own family histories. J-Mom and I have spent a lot of time over the years using online search engines as well as genealogical libraries and more to gain better insight seemed to where we came from and the stories of the families that came before us. We have a lot more research to do, but history is important and we want to share this with our own kids.

Josephine-Vento

As I get ready to say goodbye to my Grandmother, I had been asked to write a Eulogy that I will give at her memorial. Below is what I wrote. I hope that this will let you get to know her a bit more and that her memory will live on forever in the minds of all of you, her friends and her family.

Josephine-Vento

Pep, Jo, Josephine or how my wife, I, and my daughters knew her, Nana. My grandmother was a woman of faith, love and strong convictions, and one of the strongest women I knew. She was passionate about her family and anyone that ever went into her home would see her pictures that adorned her refrigerator, her walls or other places throughout her home. It always brightened her day and put a smile on her face to stay connected with all of you. After her passing, we found this book (Hold up the book) that was her daily prayer book. Inside the book we found not only pages and pages of prayers and devotions that were important to her, but also, we found notations on every day of family birthdays, deaths and so much more. Whether you all knew it or not, she was always praying and hoping for the best for all of her friends and family.

She was a devout Catholic and this spirituality filled her entire life. She knew that her God was with her and that Angels were all around us. She drew on this faith throughout her life to get her through both good and challenging situations. She prayed diligently for family and friends. She had both small and large devotionals that were dog-eared and we know how well-used the many rosaries were that she had throughout her home, and you could always depend that she would have at least one with her whether she was sitting in her apartment or walking through her neighborhood.

While my grandmother did not have an easy life, she never complained. I can honestly say that I never heard her say a mean word and though I know that there were probably those who could have used a tongue lashing from her, it never came (unless it came through prayer).

She was the mother to two amazing ladies, my mother Rosemary and my Aunt, Cathy. She was my grandmother and the great-grandmother to Juliana and Paige. She loved to tell us and others how proud she was of our accomplishments and how much she loved us. A great example of this was in her most recent trip to visit us in Michigan, she cherished the time she had with her great-granddaughters, and whether she was coloring, walking hand-in-hand with them or talking, the end of the visit would always conclude with an “I Love You.” Outside of immediate family, she was always thinking of all of you, her extended family and friends. I know so many of you have favorite Aunt Pep stories, and though we do not have time during the service now, I hope that during the luncheon this afternoon that all of you will share these with all of us.

My grandmother lived very frugally. She washed plastic bags, straightened aluminum foil, re-constituted leftovers, visited resale shops among other things. I was always in awe at how she lived on her meager social security allowance. However, even though this was the case, she was SO generous with her gifts, whether she baked her delicious breads or carrot cake (my personal favorite) or purchased something for that special family or friend.

She had a funny way of rolling her eyes, pursing her lips and shaking her head if she didn’t like what you said. She wouldn’t say a word, but you knew she was disappointed.

My grandmother was a hard worker all of her life. She prayed hard, she loved with all her heart, soul, body and mind and I am sure that all of you were recipients of this throughout your life whether you knew it or not.

We all are saddened by the loss of this wonderful woman, but in our hearts we know that she has gone home to her God and is now with all of the friends, family and other loved ones that went before her, and we know that we will see her again. I’m sure that God is celebrating her return to his loving arms. I’m sure that she is making things ready for all who come in the future.

She will definitely have the carrot cake ready, the sauce simmering and coffee ready (with hazelnut flavoring of course).

I want to close today with a prayer that was prayed at All Saints Day: “They will hunger no more, and thirst no more; the sun will not strike them, nor any scathing heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Josephine-Vento

Also, for any of you that love Carrot Cake, I will share with you my Grandmothers’ Amazing Carrot Cake Recipe!

NANA’S CARROT CAKE RECIPE

  • 2 cups flour
  • 2 tsp. bakng powder
  • 1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 2 tsp. cinnamon

 

Put the above ingredients in a bowl and use a whisk to stir ingredients together.

  • 2 c. sugar  ( Nana wrote she used 1 3/4 cups of sugar)
  • 1 1/2 cups salad oil
  • 4 eggs beaten

 

Mix in a bowl and ADD:

  • 2 cups finely grated raw carrots
  • 1 – 8 1/2 oz. can crushed pineapple, drained
  • 1/2 cup chopped nuts

 

 

Add flour mixture to sugar mixture in small amounts and mix thoroughly together.

 

Pour into 3, 9 inch round layer cake pans that have been sprayed and floured lightly.

 

Bake 350 degrees, 35 – 40 minutes (check to make sure the center is cooked)

Remove from oven, cool

Frost with cream cheese frosting

 

 

 

NANA’S CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

  • 1/2  cup of butter
  • 1- 8 oz, cream cheese
  • 1 tsp. vanilla

 

Mix these ingredients well, then add:

 

1 lb. confectionery sugar, beat well . If too thick add a little milk

 Josephine-Vento

How have you as parents helped your own kids remember loved ones that have passed?

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: Carrot cake, dads with daughters, death, genealogy, grandmother, grandparents, great-grandmother, history, memorial, memories

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