Limelight Archives - Dad of Divas

Dads in the Limelight – Author & Dad, Rich Bishop

February 21, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 621st Dad in the Limelight is Author & Dad, Rich Bishop. I want to thank Rich Bishop for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Rich Bishop with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Rich Bishop and when I’m not wearing my “Daddy” hat, I’m a leadership coach, writer, and speaker. I am passionate about helping others to get better at what they do. My mission is to people stop accepting mediocre from life and start living the lives that they were called to lead, and doing that with my family is my greatest responsibility as a father and husband. I write a blog called Advance Leadership, which focuses on helping leaders go further in their careers, faith, and relationships.

Over the time that I’ve been a dad, I’ve noticed a lot of leadership lessons that can be learned from the stages that our kids go through. They are determined to learn, don’t accept ‘no’ for an answer, and they are eager to help others – all the things that we need to be doing more of as adults. I’ve wrapped some of those lessons up in a self-published book called Child-Like Leadership.

2) Tell me about your family
I have an amazing wife named Carey and two beautiful daughters – Ava (7) and Alyssa (4).
Carey and I are a lot like yin and yang; we balance each other out so well. I couldn’t be the man that I am today without her constant love and support. Our girls are smart and they both love to dance. Our favorite things to do together are to read fun books and dance around the living room.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The toughest part of being a father is balancing my professional life with being a good father for my kids. There have been many times that I’ve chosen to step away from the office during a busy time in order to be there for our girls. At the end of the day, being a good father is the most important job that I will ever have. The pressures of the office can be hard to manage, but it’s always worth it.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Plug in! Be involved in your children’s lives. Have fun and play with them – even if it means wearing a princess dress or a tiara. Life isn’t about us anymore from the moment our children are born. I’ve seen too many dads that remove themselves from their kids lives when they are little, only to find that they’re still on the outside when they’re teens. They can learn so much from us at every stage in their lives and we are robbing them of important life lessons if we don’t plug in.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
I try to include our girls in my ‘outside life’ as much as I can. They’re just now getting to an age when they can go to sporting events or to nice restaurants with us. It’s great being able to share those parts of my life with them. They get to see all of who I am and how I am in different situations. I think it helps them to be equipped to be in those situations as they get older.

There are times where I’ve brought them into the office with me for a little while and allowed them to sit in while I’ve had short meetings. They may not understand it all now, but they’re learning what I’m doing when I have to go to work for 9 hours a day… it’s not a mystery.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
The biggest thing that I’ve learned is that I’m not alone. Sometimes you can feel like you’re the only one that experiences the emotions that you feel or the things that your kids do. We’re not alone in those tough times because there are so many others that have been there before.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Being a father has helped me grow as a person in so many ways. You can’t truly learn to be patient until you’ve had a colic baby screaming for days on end. You can’t learn selflessness until your stomach is grumbling from hunger but you give your food to your child because she’s just as hungry as you are. You can’t learn unconditional love until your child royally messes up. I am a better man because of my children.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The most memorable experiences have been the ones when our girls have shown their character. We spend so much time trying to teach them the right way to live, yet they act a certain way toward us that makes us unsure if they get it or not. We’ll catch them every once in a while doing something that makes us go, “Wow, they really get it.” Those are the proud parent moments.

A few months ago, our oldest daughter, Ava, was at a dance competition. She had forgotten her costume at home and there was no way for us to get it in time. She was going to miss out on her dance and was devastated. One of her friends came up to her and offered to give Ava her costume because this was Ava’s only dance. Ava politely thanked her, but said, “No, I can’t do that to you because I made the mistake. Here, I will teach you my part so you can do it.” Both girls showed an unbelievable maturity. Those girls truly get what we’re trying to teach them. There’s no better feeling in the world as a parent.

If you have any questions for Rich Bishop, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )- Adam Dolgin ( @Fodder4Fathers ) #dadchat

November 7, 2013 by dadofdivas 1 Comment

Dads in the Limelight

Our 384th Dad in the Limelight is Adam Dolgin. I want to thank Adam for being a part of the Dads in the Limelight series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

Hi, my name is Adam Dolgin and that is how my colleagues know me in the many LinkedIn parenting groups I am involved in, but on Facebook and Twitter I’m known as “Fodder 4 Fathers”, or “F4F” or the “The Big
F’er.” I’m a dad blogger turned website owner (www.fodder4fathers.com) turned outspoken advocate for involved dads. But please, Adam is just fine.

2) Tell me about your family
I’m a working dad who splits all parenting duties with my working wife, Jessica. We have two beautiful children: a daughter, D.D., age 3, and a son, “The Lil F’er” (or Little Fodderer, as he is known online), age 9-months.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Knowing that this fun stage won’t last forever. I like infants, babies and toddlers. They’re cute, and even at their worst they can still make me laugh. Sadly, I don’t think a teenager telling me to go [email protected]#% myself because I don’t feed in to all their wants will be as much fun.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Enjoy it, and don’t take everything so seriously or personally. This is the best time of your life. Be present and don’t take anything for granted. Parenting is what you make of it. If you see it as being hard, it will be. I prefer to see it as a fun challenge where I can always improve for the next time.

Adam Dolgin, Dads in the Limelight, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Being in the limelight online is pretty easy. My family is known all over the world, but I can shut out that world at any time. Being a parent is what put me in the limelight so the two are connected – I’ve let people inside my home life hopefully to show that it doesn’t take much for dads to be more involved in their kid’s lives. I also work a 9-5 job, teach one night a week, and always have projects going, but my kids are my number one priority. But it’s pretty easy to do it all with a smartphone these days… Well, not the parenting part.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

We are all different, but we are all the same. The men I meet on my Facebook page, or in various Dad Blogger Groups, or in the park, all want to be great, involved parents to their kids. We don’t all agree on all the particulars of raising our kids, or our roles in the household (I know working dads and SAHDs), but we all agree being a dad is the greatest job in the world.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I say if you’re going to do something, do it right (or to the best of your ability) and give it 100 percent. You can’t half-ass parenting. It starts from day one. I never hid behind my wife and let her take the lead with the baby. My daughter needed changing. I did it, and I didn’t ask for a medal. I told my wife that I would do the midnight feed, or the bath, or make dinner, or whatever. And I never came home (and this only applies to when my wife was on maternity leave, mind you) and assumed that my job for the day was done and raising the kids was my wife’s job. If she was working until 9 pm, I was working until 9 pm. I think the operative word in your question was SHARE, as it’s the only way I know how to parent. My wife and I share every single responsibility.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The births. They were both such different experiences: one came out so fast and the other didn’t breathe for the first two minutes that it seemed like an eternity. Having to take my 3 week old son to the emergency room in the middle of the night by myself and us having to watch him fight for breath in a hospital room for 4 days (RSV). The day my daughter learned to say Dada (of course). And just watching how much my daughter loves my son, and vice versa. They are our pride and joy. My wife and I just feel like we won the lottery (although there are days when my 3-year-old acts up that my wife wants to give her back).

If you have any questions for Adam, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )- Jeff Alt ( @jeffalt ) #dadchat

November 3, 2013 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 383rd Dad in the Limelight is Jeff Alt. I want to thank Jeff for being a part of the Dads in the Limelight series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge).

I’m a speaker, hiking expert, speech language pathologist, and the award-winning author of A Walk for Sunshine: A 2,160 Mile Expedition for Charity on the Appalachian Trail, 3rd Edition, Four Boots-One Journey: A Story of Survival, Awareness & Rejuvenation on the John Muir Trail and Get Your Kids Hiking: How to Start Them Young and Keep it Fun!. My adventures have been featured in media nationwide including: Discoverychannel.com, ESPN’s Inside America’s National Parks, Hallmark Channel, CNN-Radio, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, LA Times, The USA Today, USA Radio Network, the AP, the Chicago Sun Times, Scholastic Parent & Child and many more. I’m a member of the Outdoor Writers Association of America (OWAA). I‘ve shared my Appalachian Trail adventures with guests in the Shenandoah National Park for over ten years as well as several other outdoor venues along the Appalachian Trail. I hold a master’s degree from Miami University in Ohio. I continue to host the annual Sunshine Walk, 5k Run and Roll inspired from my Appalachian Trail journey. I’ve been hiking since my youth. I’ve walked the 2,160-mile Appalachian Trail, the 218-mile John Muir Trail with my wife, and I carried my 21-month old daughter along the coast of Ireland on a family hike. My son was on the Appalachian Trail at 6 weeks of age.

2) Tell me about your family
I’ve been married for over 14 years. We have two children Madison and William. We live in Cincinnati Ohio.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Our world is changing rapidly and we (my wife and I) want to give our kids the best childhood experience ever so they will grow up and be able to adapt and succeed with whatever circumstance comes their way. We want to make sure we’re giving our kids our “A” game. You only get one shot at raising a child. America offers us the freedom to go after our dreams and we want our kids to take full advantage of that. We want our kids to experience the power of going after BIG dreams. We want them to know they have the ability and freedom to take those first steps in pursuit of their BIG dreams and goals.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

I’m still learning as I go along, but this I do know from my experience. Create unstructured outdoor opportunities together with your kids that allow them to lead, play and discover. We are in an age where us parents hover and control (ex. play dates, team sports); for good reason. But, our kids today spend an exorbent amount of time inside in the structured classroom or in front of the computer. They need time outdoors. They need quality time with you and they need unstructured time. Set aside a sacred time each day to get outside with your kids and let them lead. Take walks and hikes together letting them lead the pace. Stop and take interest in whatever they are showing interest in. Let them pick the activity while you’re outdoors (ex. hide and seek, geocaching, creeking, bike riding etc.).

I’ve utilized my “limelight” to give my kids an opportunity to feel the success of going after dreams at their level of comfort. This past summer, my latest book, Get Your Kids Hiking: How to Start Them Young and Keep it Fun, gave us the unique opportunity to go on a book signing tour together. My wife and kids had the opportunity to appear on four television shows and we were featured together in several newspaper and magazine articles. We did the interviews together and this allowed my kids to build their public presentation skills and experience the success of publishing a book and all the media opportunities that come with that. We also presented several family hiking clinics together and everyone had a blast. But, we only included our kids in the media if they wanted to do the interview. We also spend lots of time together, out of the limelight, focusing on each other during family hikes, outdoor adventures and perusing our kid’s personal interests. Madison is in gymnastics and girl scouts and William is in his third year of soccer and wants to try baseball next season. We make a point to let our kids be kids without cameras and audiences.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Every father has something positive to offer and learn from. My dad introduced me to camping. He’s also been an excellent role model on being compassionate and sticking with your children through life regardless of their mental or physical disposition. My brother Aaron was born with cerebral palsy and lives at Sunshine, a home for people with developmental disabilities. My dad remains very close to Aaron and visits him weekly and takes him on outings. My stepfather introduced me to the Appalachian Trail and taught me to stick with a goal and never give up. When I hiked the 2,000-mile Appalachian Trail, he kept me focused until the very end. He then went on and completed his own 2,000 mile Appalachian Trail journey over a nineteen year span. My father in law has impressed me with his ability to put his own interests aside and support his kids and grandkids. My father in-law has been there for every one of my wife’s major achievements and he’s joined us for all of our kid’s achievements (birthdays, performances, etc.).

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I wouldn’t trade being a father for anything. Raising kids is the most rewarding adventure I’ve ever been on.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Walking across Ireland with my daughter on my back on a family hike.
Hiking with our 8 week old son on the Appalachian Trail.
My daughter standing up and telling an audience of 300 that she wants to hike the entire Appalachian Trail when she’s 10.
Hiking and camping together as a family.

If you can send me the answers to the above questions as well as 3-4 pictures of yourself and any other pictures you would like included in your post.

If you have any questions for Jeff, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )- Beau Coffron ( @lunchboxdad ) #dadchat

October 31, 2013 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Dads in the Limelight

Our 382nd Dad in the Limelight is Beau Coffron. I want to thank Beau for being a part of the Dads in the Limelight series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

Beau Coffron, Dads in the Limelight, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I first and foremost am a husband and a father. I have two kids with another on the way. Other than that I work full-time with high school students but am in the limelight for my blog, lunchboxdad.com. For the past year I have been making fun and creative lunches for my daughter to take to school every Monday. The project grew into a blog (where I post pictures and recipes for parents to follow). This has helped me to connect with my daughter in amazing ways and I want to help other parents do the same. I also just finished my first ebook, Adventures in Lunchboxing. It shares a number of lunches, recipes, and ideas not available on my blog.

2) Tell me about your family

I have been married for 12 years. My wife and I met in college our freshman year, but I couldn’t convince her to date me until we were seniors. We have a 7-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son. My wife is due in January with our third child. We are generally a pretty normal family (if there is such a thing) with our normal disagreements, fun memories, and bedtime meltdowns.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

I think its learning how really selfish I am. Marriage was a good primer for that. Being a father, though, that’s a completely different ballgame. I never thought of myself as being selfish, but when you are learning how to care for someone who is completely dependent on you, it shows you no matter what, it is about them first. I still get my down time, but that first year being a dad was a learning experience. Well on second thought maybe it’s getting every bodily fluid known to man on you, sometimes all at once. No…I’ll still go with the selfishness lesson.

Beau Coffron, Dads in the Limelight, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Be present in the moment. I am so busy that sometimes I miss out on experiences because my attention is divided. When you are with your kids, actually be with them. I was wrestling with my son tonight and realized that I hadn’t done that in awhile. Its not the wrestling, it’s the connection time. This is a struggle for me. So often, I say, “In a minute” or “maybe later.” The problem is that later turns into, well…much later. We as dads miss the important moments. So now how busy you are, put the laptop down, put the phone down, and be a dad, if only for a few minutes. Let your kids interrupt you from time to time to show them how important they are to you.

The hard thing is that with my full-time job, I am in the limelight locally quite a bit. I work many nights and weekends. For my blog, I am in the limelight online. Its easy to never turn things off. However, my wife is a great truth-teller in my life. When I don’t see things getting out of balance, she does and will call me on it. There are obviously seasons when things will be busier but I need to make sure that’s not all the time. This means I have to say no to things. I used to say yes to everything, but as I matured I realized that when I say yes to everything else, I say no to my family. My family comes first, not my job or my blog.

Beau Coffron, Dads in the Limelight, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I learn not only how to be a great dad, but also how not to mess up as well. I try and learn lessons no matter where I go or whom I come into contact with. I am a firm believer that even if your role models for being a dad were terrible (I had a mixed bag), you can take something from them and apply them to your own life. So the biggest thing I have learned is to try and learn how to (or how not to) be a dad with whomever I meet. I can take little things here and there, apply them to my family and make them great learning experiences. There are no perfect parents. I’m certainly not, so I will be a lifelong learner. We should never think we have it altogether and can stop learning. We never stop being dads so we should always be trying to be better at it.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Even though I get frustrated with my kids to the point of wanting to pull my hair out, I would never trade them for the world. There is nothing like being a dad. If I could do it all over again, I would want the same experiences without even giving it a second thought.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

One would be holding my oldest for the first time in the hospital and thinking that life would never be the same…and “Crap, I have no idea what I am doing!” Another would be watching them grow up and accomplish things that would probably bore other parents, but I think are amazing. For example, my daughter made it up a legit climbing wall three times the other day. She is not the best at sports, my son is the athlete, but she did it and I was so proud of her. Its those little things that make being a dad worth it.

Beau Coffron, Dads in the Limelight, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

If you have any questions for Beau, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )- Bill Treasurer ( @btreasurer ) #dadchat

October 27, 2013 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Dads in the Limelight

Our 381st Dad in the Limelight is Bill Treasurer. I want to thank Bill for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I am the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer at Giant Leap Consulting (GLC), a courage-building company that exists to help people and organizations live more courageously. I’ve written three books and a widely used corporate training program. My newest book, Leaders Open Doors, focuses on the responsibility that leaders have for providing people with opportunities that cause them to grow and develop (www.leadersopendoors.com). My second book is Courage Goes to Work, which provides practical strategies for inspiring more courageous behavior in workplace settings (www.couragegoestowork.com). My first book, Right Risk, was published in 2003 and is about how to take smart risks. It draws on my experiences as former member of the U.S. High Diving Team. For seven years I traveled throughout the world and performed over 1500 high dives from heights that scaled to over 100 feet…sometimes on fire.

Finally, I am the author of an off-the-shelf training program that has been taught on four continents in eight countries. Courageous Leadership: Using Courage to Transform the Workplace, is designed to help organizational development practitioners and training professionals inspire more courageous behavior in their organizations. Learn more at www.pfeiffer.com/go/courage.

Since 1991 I have conducted over 500 corporate workshops and webinars for notable clients such as NASA, Accenture, Monster.com, CNN, SPANX, Center for Creative Leadership, Saks Fifth Avenue, Hugo Boss, Bank of America Merchant Services, UBS Bank, EarthLink, PNC Bank, the U.S. Forest Service, the National Science Foundation, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Learn more at www.giantleapconsulting.com.

2) Tell me about your family
I have three wonderful children; twin nine-year-olds named Alex (my boy) and Bina (my girl), and Ian a six-year old boy. We also have a gigantic Great Pyrenees dog named Soap. We all live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina. My wife Shannon and I have our hands full, but in a good way.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Some of my challenges have been just like every other dad – making time to be present with my kids, tapping back into my playful side, administering discipline in healthy and nontoxic does, and trying to be the dad my kids seem to think I am.

My unique challenge is that I’m the father of a kid with special needs. Bina, my girl, has cerebral palsy and is deaf. Being her dad has been one of the greatest joys, and greatest educations, in my life. She’s taught me lessons about dignity, patience, courage, and unconditional love. Before Bina was born I was a full-throttle “type A” personality. Now I am a “type A/B” dad. I can shift between working intensely and stopping everything to give Bina my full attention. She has taught me to be far more present than I was before she was born.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Tell and show your kids you love them each and every day. I’m an older dad. The twins were born when I was forty-one. Now I’m fifty-one. With each passing year I realize how fleeting life is. The most important gift you can give your child is to let them know they are deeply loved. Knowing that effects a person’s psychology in a big way. Many psychiatrists have made great livings helping people grapple with questions about whether or not their parents really loved them. By making sure my kids can answer that question with a resounding and confident “yes!”, I’m saving them money on therapy bills later in life.

My other advice would be to carve out time just for you and the mother of your children. The responsibilities we have to our children often take precedence over every other responsibility, and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship with your wife is a major responsibility. The respect and love you show each other in front of your kids will be the biggest influence on the health of their own relationships in the future. So it’s ultimately in the best interests of your kids to sometimes get away from them…so you and mom can keep the flame flickering.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

I’m on the road more than I want to be. As a self-employed business owner, if I’m not working on my out-of-town assignments, my family doesn’t eat. Or at least we don’t eat as well. So being a business owner requires me to be away from my kids a lot. Bridging the geographic divide between my work self and my dad self takes discipline. I call my kids most evenings just to check-in with them. Sometimes we use Facetime, which is fun. It also helps that my wife is a stay-at-home mom so she can pick up both of our duties while I’m on the road. We also try to plan a family adventure of some sort on most weekends. Living in western North Carolina provides for a lot of outdoor adventures.

Finally, I make sure we take at least one big vacation each year. Last year we went on a Disney cruise and then to Disney World. Everyone, including me and my wife, had an absolute BLAST. I do my best to unplug when on vacation. I might check emails, but only after my family has gone to bed.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

We all love our kids but we don’t all parent the same way. Some dads get too hung up on needing their children to “respect” them by being – let’s be honest – afraid of them. They relish their role as the “authority” figure more than their role as a father figure.

I’m not the kind of dad that needs to have my kids bow down to my authority. I want my kids to be courteous and respectful, but also selfespectful. Meaning, I don’t want my kids to “respect” an adult just because the adult is older than they are. I want them to respect themselves first, and then to respect others who are worthy of respect. Selfespect, to me, is an important concept. If you don’t respect yourself you won’t be able to fully respect others. Or you’ll let people walk all over you later in life.

The dads I admire the most are the ones who help the individual nature of their children flourish. The dads I admire least are those who try to turn their kids into replications of themselves.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Few things will make a guy grow up and become a responsible man than having children. I work my ass off each and every day because I want to provide for my family.

I think it’s helpful to sometimes think about how you want your kids to speak about you when you’re dead and gone. I want my kids to say that I was a great man who always believed in their potential and taught them to live life to its fullest. Thinking about that sets the context for how I try to live on a day-to-day basis as a father and as a human being.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

When my daughter Bina (rhymes with Tina) was four she still hadn’t learned to walk. It’s not uncommon for kids with cerebral palsy to be wheelchair-bound for their entire life. Bina’s brother Alex, on the other hand, was turning into a rambunctious little Ninja gymnast. To encourage his aerial hijinks we set up a trampoline in our backyard. I’d teach Alex trampoline moves while Bina watched from the sidelines. At the end of our little practice sessions I’d always make time for Bina too, holding her little hands and bouncing up and down.

One day, just to see what would happen, I sat behind Bina, stood her upright, steadied her hips, and let go of her hands. Then Bina did something she never had done before: She took three full steps. On the hard floor, Bina was never confident enough to do this. Kids with cerebral palsy fall down a lot, and Bina was no different. She had fallen off enough chairs to know that the hard floor wasn’t her friend. So watching Bina take three teetering steps was hugely thrilling. On her fourth step she fell to the mat and giggled as my wife, Shannon, and I cheered wildly

Recognizing that we were onto something, Shannon and I began to set aside time each day to walk with Bina on the trampoline. Before long, three steps turned to five steps, and five turned into ten. Then we set up a long runner of matted cushion on our back deck, figuring it would help her make the transition from the spongy trampoline surface to the hardwood floor. Drawing on her trampoline successes, Bina cautiously stepped out on the runner. Soon she was taking more steps on the deck than she was able to on the trampoline. It was all terrifically encouraging and inspiring. By setting up our backyard trampoline, we created a safe way for Bina to do something that she had previously felt was too unsafe to do. Walking, formerly a frightening and potentially injuring experience, now had become fun. Notice that the action we wanted Bina to take (walking) hadn’t changed. What had changed was the consequence (and only temporarily). The spongy trampoline surface was far more forgiving than our hardwood floors. When we surrounded the same action with safer consequences, Bina became much more willing to take a risk. That taught me an important lesson: if you want people to take more risks, make failure safe and success possible.

If you have any questions for Bill, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )-Armin Brott ( @mrdad ) #dadchat

September 19, 2013 by dadofdivas 2 Comments

Our 370th Dad in the Limelight is Armin Brott. I want to thank Armin for being a part of the Dads in the Limelight series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I’m a writer, blogger, radio host, entrepreneur, speaker, consultant, and former U.S. Marine. But what defines me is being a dad. I can honestly say that if I hadn’t had children, I’d be living a very different life. No idea what that would be, but it’s safe to say that I wouldn’t be any of the things in that first sentence—except for the Marine part. Once a Marine, blah blah…

My writing is what put me into the limelight, completely unexpectedly. Back when my then-wife was pregnant with our first, all sorts of bizarre questions were running through my head: What kind of father would I be? How was being a dad going to change my life? Would I ever have sex again? Would I have to take a second job to afford kids? (I’ve got an MBA and had worked in business for a while before the dad stuff knocked me off track). Would my son be a jock? (I was convinced that I was going to have a boy. I was wrong. A few years later, I was wrong again. And ten years after that, wrong a third time).

After the baby came, I got hit with even more questions: Why are all the dads on TV idiots? Why don’t men take family leave—even when it’s paid? Why do people always complain about their father being “emotionally distant” but they never say thanks for all the meals he put on the table? Why do people assume that a man in a park is a child molester? So I started writing snippy essays about all of that. On a whim, I sent a few of them out and, much to my surprise, they started getting published.

I was able to get an agent and he lined up a contract to write my first book, The Expectant Father, which was one of the very first books to talk about pregnancy and childbirth from the dad’s perspective. It was the book I wish I would have had. That book did so well (again, much to my surprise) that the publisher wanted a sequel: The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. Then they wanted another one. And another. Most recently, the one I’m most proud of was published: The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads.Two million copies later, and the books—eight of them—are still selling.

The success of the books led to the radio show, Positive Parenting,” which I’ve been doing for about 18 years on the biggest station in San Francisco. In 2011, the show got picked up by the American Forces Network and it now runs on 500+ stations where it reaches a few million American service members and their families.

2) Tell me about your family

I’ve got three daughters, 23, 20, and 10. The oldest one just graduated from college after a lengthy—and nearly successful—attempt to bankrupt me. Now, with her BA in photography, she’s well on her way to doing what all three of my parents’ children did: get an undergrad degree in liberal arts (mine is in Russian and French), then move back home with the parents. The oldest two had zero interest in sports, but the youngest has become the jock I always dreamed about—which means a lot more driving than I was expecting.

I’m fortunate that my parents are still alive and live nearby, as do my two sisters.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Feeling completely inadequate when I haven’t been able to solve a problem. My middle daughter had a really rough time in school and ended up not graduating high school. She’s brilliant and I know she’ll do great things in life, but I always felt that since I make my living dispensing advice on how to be a dad, my children should be perfect.

The teen years were a real challenge.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Slow down. Take the time to watch your kids grow. Those years go by way too quickly and you’ll never get them back.

Armin Brott, Dads in the Limelight, #limelightdads, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

Early on, I made a commitment to work from 9-12, twice a day. In between, I was doing as much hands-on stuff as I could possibly do with the kids. But sometimes I’d be stuck in the ironic position of having to hire a baby sitter to take care of my children so I could write books about being an involved dad.

Now, I try to never be away from my kids for any more than three days. But in an economy that completely sucks, I have to go where the paychecks are.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I have no idea who said it, but no one ever looks back on his life from his deathbed and wishes he would have spent more time at work. At the same time, I’ve learned that the vast majority of dads are not at all what stereotypes would have us believe.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

It’s been fantastic, horrible, inspiring, challenging, and everything in between. There’s no question that being a dad has made me a better man.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Cutting umbilical cords, having a baby fall asleep on my chest, being on the receiving end of a smile, comforting a crying child, bat mitzvahs (two down, one to go), college graduation, coaching my youngest’s softball team, being told by my oldest (after I’d given her a good idea for a high school term paper) that, “You’re not as dumb as I thought you were.”

If you have any questions for Armin, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads ) – George Teh ( @TheItDad ) #dadchat #dadstalking

April 14, 2013 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 325th Dad in the Limelight is George Teh. I want to thank George for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is George Teh. I am 31 years old, currently finishing up school, recently started my blog (theitdad.net), and serving God at church in the music/ preaching ministry. I don’t really have a specific label for what I do, because it’s all over the place! I’m busy but happy, I love my life.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife, Daisy (theitmom.com) and I have been married for over 5 years and we currently live in Las Vegas, NV, in the city of Henderson to be exact. We have 4 children; Noah(13), Jasmine(11), Jude(4), Juliana(3). (boy, girl, boy, girl)

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Being a provider was my biggest challenge. It started out when my wife and I started our relationship. Being a new step dad to two children, and not having any experience with family whatsoever. We went through a very bad financial difficulty that took us to the darkest time of our lives, borderline homeless. It was not just in finances, but emotionally, mentally, in our relationships with family, and spiritually. At the time, it was difficult to find work. We couldn’t pay rent, electricity, food and even being able to buy water to drink was a struggle. The situation seemed unreal. Many nights I sat in my car praying about what to do, and not seeing an answer. We then found out my wife was pregnant, and not much later, got evicted and had to move out Christmas night into a friend’s one bedroom apartment. The struggle went on for almost a year and we couldn’t find any solutions. So many other things went of after that. As difficult as this all was though, I don’t regret any of it, because it was this challenge that brought me closer to God, developed my faith, and allowed me to be humble. It was these rough times, I believe that I was able to learn to become a better father, a better man, and provider. Once we decided to get married, things started to get better, immediately! We got a new home, new jobs and our relationships with family and friends were rebuilt. We were blessed with so much and things picked up. Until today, this is what reminds me to always be grateful and never take blessings, family, and opportunities for granted.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Have faith and hold on to it, it will keep the family strong through tough times. Being a father is not about giving up a lot but gaining a lot more. Fatherhood is a big responsibility but the joy you receive is a reward you can’t put a price on.

George Teh, Dads in the Limelight, #limelightdads, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

My time I spend praying and reading has helped me to balance everything. It might not be the same for everyone, but whatever allows you to reflect and appreciate everything you have will help you balance, because once you see the importance of faith, family, health career, etc., you will automatically want to balance it all. I’ve come to see that everything I’ve been handed should not be taken for granted or be neglected.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned the fathers understand their roles and influence on their children. It makes me so proud and happy to be a dad when I see other dads that unselfishly dedicate themselves to their children. I also see fathers who work so hard, but still manage to spend quality time with their children, it’s very encouraging.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I try to see my children in their future and remind myself how big of a role I play in their lives, now and later. I pray that they grow up successful, happy and doing what they are called to do, but I also realize that what I do with my life, will affect what they become. Life hasn’t been perfect and it never will be, I know. We continue to have challenges come up. Our parenting will sometimes be questioned and so will our character, but as long as we are doing what’s best for our family, that’s what really matters.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Times when everything is chaotic at home or anywhere else and I just stare at my wife and kids and realize it’s the best thing ever. I love to see my kids eyes light up with excitement and even when they come to me crying. I enjoyed my life when I was young and single, but it doesn’t compare to the joy I have with my wife and kids. even the stressful moments!

If you have any questions for George, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads ) – Scott Benner. ( @ArdensDay ) #dadchat #dadstalking

April 7, 2013 by dadofdivas 5 Comments

Our 323rd Dad in the Limelight is Author and Blogger (Arden’s Day) Scott Benner . I want to thank Scott for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Scott Benner. I am a stay-at-home dad who started blogging in 2007 around the first anniversary of our daughter Arden’s diabetes diagnosis. I advocate for people who live with type I diabetes on my blog, on social media, in real life, really anywhere that I find myself. Last year I was fortunate to be able to add ‘author” to my credentials and that’s how you found me.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife Kelly and I have been married since 1996. We have two children, a son Cole and a daughter, Arden.They are 13 and 8 respectively. Cole loves playing baseball and is a good student, Arden is a softball player and a budding writer. I have been a stay-at-home dad since Kelly went back to work after she gave birth to Cole thirteen years ago. We also have a dog named Indy who never has to go outside until I’m sitting down and a hamster that I begged my wife not to buy.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Stopping myself from acting the way I imagined that a man should when he has children and being myself. A close runner up would be feeling confident that I could be a good dad.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Trust the women in your life when it comes to their feelings about what your family needs. They know instinctively.

Once you’ve learned how to live well with a chronic illness everything else feels easy. My writing does take up a lot of time so I have to be creative about finding free moments. It also helps that my family is very supportive of my advocacy and writing career but overall I handle life with the perspective that diabetes gave me.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I don’t see many men in the course of my day. Throughout my life however I’ve known men that were great dads and some that weren’t so great. Each one has left an impression, my fathers actions being the strongest. He taught me how not to be a dad. It was a sad but very valuable lesson, and perhaps the best one that I could have ever hoped for from him.

Scott Benner, Dads in the Limelight, #limelightdads, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

So many but if I was to share just one… I’d say to accept your family’s love freely and don’t be embarrassed by how it makes you feel. Let it in and allow it to fill you because there is more joy in that power than you’ll be able to use in a lifetime.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

You’re going to have to read my book to find out the answer to this one.

If you have any questions for Scott, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Author & Dad, Rich Bishop

Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )- Adam Dolgin ( @Fodder4Fathers ) #dadchat

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