husband Archives - Dad of Divas

When a Marriage Can’t Be Saved

October 14, 2019 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

When two partners get married, the marriage is always seen as being together forever. They’re the love of each other’s lives and will hopefully grow old together. During the first year of their marriage, they’ll buy a home and will probably be expecting a child together. Throughout their many years of marriage and parenthood, there will be plenty of good memories to look back on. There were also be bad times, arguments, and fights.

Arguing and fighting is expected to happen every now and then in a marriage as well as relationships and engagements. After both of you have let out your anger and frustration, you calm down, are able to think with a clear head, and apologize. Disagreements are also expected to happen often in a marriage, but plenty of partners are able to figure out a compromise. But if these arguments, fights, and disagreements become more frequent, it might be one of the first signs that being married isn’t working out anymore.

Once it starts to become obvious that a marriage isn’t the same as how it started, many couples will try to find a way to bring back that newlywed spark. Before turning to family law professionals, like KoonsFuller Family Law, couples may schedule more alone time together wherever they can. They’ll find a babysitter for the kids so they can have a date night. Date night can include going out to dinner, going to see a movie, or another enjoyable activity. Even though your kids are everything to you, couples need alone time to enjoy each other and remember why they got married.

Another thing a couple can do in an attempt to save their marriage is going on a getaway. Just like with date night, any kids you have together can be left with a babysitter. This getaway can be a weekend or a week-long trip. It can be camping in the woods, a cabin up in the mountains, a resort on the beach, etc. Whatever type of getaway both of you will enjoy, the choice is yours. All parents will agree that your kids are your world, but it can be nice to have a break from them and have all of your attention on each other.

If whatever idea you and your spouse come up with doesn’t rekindle the spark in your marriage, marriage counselors are available to help. They have the knowledge and experience to give suggestions on rekindling the romance based on why the marriage seems to be going downhill. Besides doing what they can to help your marriage work out, they also know if it’s best that you get a divorce.

Going through a divorce can be hard and stressful. You’re separating from the person you thought was the love of your life. You’ve spent the last decade or two having them as your life partner. You’ve raised kids together, have gone on plenty of adventures, and have stuck by each other’s sides through thick and thin. Whatever struggles life threw at you, you faced and survived them all.

A divorce can be difficult for any kids involved. All kids grow up viewing their parents’ marriage as being together forever. The most ideal childhood to have is both parents under one roof. The age of the kids at the time of the divorce can determine what their reactions will be. Teenagers may be upset and act out in response. Younger children may not fully be able to understand the situation but may be sad about mommy and daddy no longer being together.

When a divorce includes kids, one decision will be who’s going to have custody of them. If both partners are completely capable parents, it can be joint custody. If one parent is dealing with being unemployed or an alcohol or drug addict, the other parent may receive full custody.

Whatever the custody situation ends up being, it’s important that both parents are still in the kids’ lives. If the mother has full custody, the kids can visit their father on the weekends and vice versa. A divorce may mean that both parents go back to handling life on their own, but raising the kids is a responsibility that both share together.

How to Be a Better Husband

October 22, 2015 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

How to Be a Better Husband

Marriage can be hard, but it can also be one of the most rewarding things you’ll do in your life. If you’re looking to take on the challenge of becoming a better husband and the man your wife deserves, get started today with these easy steps.

Unplug Together

It’s easy to get sucked into the world of technology, and your wife is probably guilty of ignoring you for her phone as well. However, it’s worth it for both of you to make the effort to unplug. You’ve probably got technology use rules set in place for your kids, so set yourself to the same standard. Set aside at least an hour each night devoid of any sort of screen time, and yes that means phones, computers, iPads, and televisions. Tell your wife about your plan—she’ll be pleased that you’re taking the initiative to get more quality time with her and likely follow your lead. This will allow you to reconnect in ways you may have lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Appearance Matters

You got the girl already, obviously, and it’s more than normal to let your appearance fall a little by the wayside. This is an easy fix though, fellas. If you want to impress your wife, start making more of an effort to look suave on the daily, not only on special occasions. Get up 10 minutes earlier to look good before going to work, get a close shave, do your hair a little differently, and at least try on some things she’s suggested. You may find you like the way you look and feel better about yourself while impressing her at the same time.

Fight the Bad Day Blues

If she’s having a bad day, do what you can to make it better in any way possible. A surprise delivery of chocolate covered berries to her office may be the thing to make her smile, and what woman ever turned down chocolate? She’ll be pleasantly embarrassed to receive your delivery in front of all of her coworkers, and you’ll be the king of romance for the day—strike that, the whole week!

Do Chores—Without Being Asked

We’re all guilty of avoiding chores, but it will make you a better husband if you take the initiative and do the things required of you without her asking—she is your wife, not your mom, after all. Whether it’s washing the car, cleaning up the kitchen, throwing in a load of laundry, or making the kids’ lunches for the next day at school, complete it before she can even think to ask. I guarantee you she’ll be impressed.

Hand over the Remote

If you’re notorious for hogging the television, it’s time to be a little more generous with the remote control. Ask her if she has a specific show she’d love to watch, and record yours to watch later. Start a new show that the two of you can enjoy together from start to finish on Netflix, let the kids watch some of their favorite programs, and show her you can share the TV screen every once in a while.

Take the Kids

Give your wife a break every once in a while and take the kids and the responsibility off her shoulders for a day. Move around your schedule to get them to school if that’s normally her duty, pick them up afterwards and get them to any extracurricular activities, and handle dinner on your own. For some extra debonair charm, give her a gift certificate to a masseuse and tell her the evening is your treat. She’ll love getting to relax and you’ll get in some quality time with your kids—everybody wins!

Reinstate Date Night

When you first started dating, it was probably all flowers and dinners and fun activities. With marriage, kids, and jobs, the pressures of life can get in the way of carving out time for special activities. Change that by making date night a priority again. Arrange for a babysitter on a particular night each week and dedicate the evening to each other. It needn’t be expensive; mini golf, a movie, even a bowling date could be the thing to inject some more fun into your relationship.

If you have the desire to become a better husband, today’s your day to start. Think about how much your wife deserves your extra effort, and funnel your energy into being the man she married all those years ago—just with some new improvements.

Book & DVD Review – The Good Men Project

December 5, 2009 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Recently I was asked to review the book and DVD – The Good Men Project. This project consists of a myriad of essays from men in relationship to topics that we all deal with on a daily basis:

Being a father
Being a son
Being a husband
Being a worker

I was excited and thankful for being asked to review this as it had a lot to do with what I write about and the topics that quite a few of my readers enjoy as well.

When I received the book itselfand started to read the essays/stories of the contributors, I was amazed at some of the things that these men went through in both growing up and struggling with what it means to be a man. I can relate to some of the issues, but I also found myself shaking my head in wonder at some of the stories and saying to myself, I can’t believe that they had to deal with this.

The writers were very forthright and open with their stories. The frankness is something that I have not seen in other such non-fiction accounts. As a man, many of the topics and issues that are raised are, as many of the writers reflect, taboo, or issues that should not be raised with other men. That is the amazing thing about this project and this book and DVD, it blows open the veil of secrecy that surrounds the persona,and at times myth, of what it means to be a man in society today.

The DVD also provided the viewer with a similar glance into the lives of those men documented. There was some profanity used, so I wouldn’t suggest it for the very young. I would say though that the topics covered in both the DVD and book are ones that teenage young men would and should learn and talk about with their friends or better yet their fathers.

I would recommend both the DVD and book for all men out there. The stories are short and engaging and you will find yourself identifying with some of the issues that some of the men raise, and there will be others that you will not as well, but all are important to reflect on and talk about, as it opens a discourse into what being a man is all about.

If this is the first time you have heard about this project, I encourage you to visit the project’s website to learn more.When you finish looking at the website, take a look at the project’s Facebook page and at the co-founder’s Twitter page.

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How to Be a Supportive Husband and Father

July 17, 2009 by dadofdivas 1 Comment

As both a husband and father I always find myself wanting to be supportive of the endeavors of my wife and kids. Yet, I sometimes wonder about what one must do to actually accomplish this. In my experience there are a number of things that have helped me in being able to accomplish this, at least thus far. Some of these things include:

1) Being present

Being actively involved and engaged in the discussion at hand and not preoccupied with the many other issues that may be swirling in the ethos is crucial. Too often, we all get preoccupied by the daily grind, and I know that when I get home, my kids do not care if I had a bad day, they just want Dad to be there and to be engaged with them.

2) Listening

Sometimes I am not the best listener and I will own up to this. I have come to find though that as a father I must be able to listen to the needs of my kids, but also the hopes, dreams and experiences that they want to share with me. As a husband, this is also very important, as if I do not listen, communication breaks down and both J-Mom and I are then not on the same page, and as all of you know, if mom and dad are not on the same page, issues arise.

3) Being encouraging

I feel like a cheerleader at times, and I know that this will only continue as my kids get older and as the relationship between J-Mom and I continues to mature and grow. I know that I will be the type of person who will be at my kids soccer games or at their musical performances. I will encourage J-Mom to excel at the things that she wishes to excel within. There are too many gifts that we are given at wasting them, holding people back from their potential.

4) Help, in a way that helps, not hinders

There are many ways that one can lend a helping hand, but I have come to find that some of these ways may not bring the intended effect, instead it hinders progress. Thus, it is important to do what you can to listen and truly hear what is needed to be able to provide the help that is required at the time it is required.

The above are only a few ideas and there are many other ways to be supportive to your family, what are some other ideas that you may have to share with other Dads?