#dadspotlight Archives - Dad of Divas

Dads in the Limelight – Strategic Communication Strategist Jarvis Stewart of IR Media

February 18, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 620th Dad in the Limelight is strategic communication strategist Jarvis Stewart of IR Media. I want to thank Jarvis Stewart for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Jarvis Stewart with all of you.

Maddi hanging out with Dad on Capitol Hill, 2014

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge

A native of Houston, I am the youngest of five children – one brother, three sisters. My parents were hardworking, God-fearing people who taught us to value faith, family, education and friends…in that order. During my senior year in college, I moved to Washington for a short time to work in national politics. This experience afforded me the opportunity to travel the country, and to learn more about who I was and wanted to become.

I lived in Los Angeles for five years, but later moved back to DC to work in the Clinton Administration. I also spent time on Capitol Hill as a chief of staff to a member of Congress. Both of these experiences led me to create a government and corporate affairs consulting firm. Ever the entrepreneur, I recently launched IR Media a media and strategic communications firm to assist clients with message development, brand management and crisis mitigation.

Family enjoying Spring Break in the Bay Area, 2015

2) Tell me about your family

My wife, Stacey, and I have been married for nearly 13 years. She’s the president of one of the largest non-profits in the world and remains on the go. We have two daughters, Madeleine Reid, age 12, a superstar athlete, equestrian and world-class student; and Savannah Francies, age 10, a budding young artist, vocalist and champion for social justice.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Largest challenge? Being patient. I’m very ambitious and personally strive to be better than I was yesterday. I’ve had to learn that my daughters are “wired” differently, and that they live in a totally different world than me. While I want the very best for them and for them to learn life’s most difficult lessons now, fact is – that ain’t happening. I’m getting better…hopefully.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Live, laugh and love WITH your kids
Prepare them for, don’t protect them from life
Resist the urge to pass your fears and anxieties on to them
Let them see you love and be kind to their mother
Be frank and honest with them – make sure they know you didn’t and don’t always get it right either.

Jarvis and Savannah, age 3, napping on daddy.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Communicate – with my team in the office, my wife and most of all my daughters. We also have rules in the family, which I believe help with balance. For example: no smart-phones or ipads at the dinner table. That time, which is very precious, is meant for telling goofy stories, laughing and bonding. Saying bedtime prayers together is also very important, and has helped with balancing my world.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

That I’m not alone, and if fatherhood (parenting) was easy – we’d all be much better at it. The world, I’m sure, would also be a much better place.

Jarvis in his Savannah picked Halloween costume, 2014

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

The relationship between fathers and their kids (especially daughters) is obviously very special. The bond and trust I create now with my girls, I believe, will dictate how they’ll engage with men for the rest of their lives. The experiences we share now, I hope, will dwell in their hearts and minds forever.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

My most memorable experiences as a parent have not necessarily come from my interaction with my daughters, but rather from standing off to the side, watching and listening to them when they think I’m not around. I get a great sense of joy and reassurance when I see and hear them replay problem solving and judgment lessons drilled into them by my wife and me. For that quick moment, I’m convinced – they get it!

If you have any questions for Jarvis Stewart, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight – Rob Nomura of DaddyEd.com

February 11, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 618th Dad in the Limelight is Rob Nomura of DaddyEd.com. I want to thank Rob Nomura for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Rob Nomura with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I’m a homeschooling father and editor of DaddyEd.com. A website about a father’s (me) point of view on home schooling, education, and liberty. I’m also the founder of WingChunLife.com, one of the world’s most well-known websites about Wing Chun kung fu. During the day I work as direct response copywriting and marketing consultant, RobertNomura.com, where I help business generate leads and drive new clients to their front door.

On my spare time I practice martial arts and recently got into Crossfit – a workout and physical training method. The result is that I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been. I can do pull-ups and handstand push-ups! I couldn’t do pull-ups as a kid. My cardio is better too, but I don’t enjoy running. Although, I don’t mind sprints or jumping over things.

2) Tell me about your family

There’re four of us and we like to travel and spend a lot of time together. I think this is easier while our kids are still young. Who knows what will happen when they enter their teenage years.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The largest challenges happened while my kids were babies and toddlers. I didn’t know how to be a father, I was nervous and unsure about the future, and was under a lot of stress. Now, I’m more experienced and my kids are older and more selfeliant. So, if they burn their hand on the stove I just say, “I told you so.” My current challenge, though, is hitting my financial stride. This is a personal issue because I really thought I’d be a multi-millionaire by now.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

If you’re new to it, enjoy your child while young. After the first 2 or 3 years, you feel a whole lifetime passed by. But then your first kid hits 10 and you’re caught by surprise, “where did all the time go?”

Then you think, “Shoot, he’ll be driving in 5 years; when we finish paying off the car!” If you’ve been at it a while and your kids are older and self-sufficient (but not adults), well, I don’t know what to do because that’s not where I’m at.

Currently, I find myself in a rush to transfer as much knowledge and experience to my kids before they grow up and fly the coop. I want to make sure their heads are on straight and don’t make needless mistakes. They’re old enough to absorb most of it, but there’s only so many hours in a day.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Poorly, I’m afraid. And I’ve recently made this discovery.

We had kids before most of our close friends did. And when you have young kids, your social life as a single person or as a young couple quickly takes a nosedive. We were practically off the radar for a number of years.

On top of that, we both (mommy and daddy) work hard and relatively long hours; luckily we enjoy what we do.

So what happens is that we spend a ton of time together and going out together. It’s broken up with a few family visits, especially du
wring holidays or some long weekends, and even fewer visits with friends. Most of our friends live far away, or now have very young kids — so it’s their turn to drop off the radar.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Spend more belly-to-belly time with my kids.

Most of the “older” fathers I’ve met spent a lot of their time away from their kids, usually at work, or sitting in traffic to and from work. And the kids are at school all day, and usually longer if they’re in after-school programs.

By design we’re together often. We homeschool, I work from home, and mommy works about 15 minutes away and has somewhat flexible hours. I think it’s been great, and healthy for us (mommy and daddy), to experience our kids grow up firsthand. For instance, we don’t have to learn who our kids are, or learn about their personalities through a written evaluation from school. I think it’s wrong when a schoolteacher knows your kids better than you do.

Also, I think it’s healthy for kids to have a close and personal relationship with their fathers. Dads are just different from moms. But this is something that may not be possible, or optimal, if dad leaves home at 6am and gets home at 6pm, 5 days a week. And then has client dinners where he comes home after 10pm, and of course business trips where he’s gone 2 to 5 days in a row, plus weekend work at the office.

Not all dads (or moms) have that kind of schedule, but I’ve met many who do.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

There’s no right way to be a good father. The good news is there are many ways to do it right.

Do the best you can, stay open to being better at it, and if you make a mistake say so and try to correct it or take steps to avoid making it again. You’ll save your kids from unneeded trauma later in life.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

It’s the small things, really.

Watching my kids learn to walk and talk.
Teaching them to ride a bike and swim.
Listening to them laugh.
Seeing how their personalities change as they get older.
Seeing them do something on their own and thinking, “They’ll be okay even if I get hit by a bus tomorrow.”

If you have any questions for Rob Nomura, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Kidney and Celiac Disease Survivor, Jason Magee

February 7, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 617th Dad in the Limelight is Chronic Kidney and Celiac Disease Survivor, Jason Magee. I want to thank Jason Magee for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Jason Magee with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I’m a father of 2 boys who is currently trying to spend as much time as I can being a dad while battling Chronic Kidney Disease and Celiac disease.

2) Tell me about your family
Our family tries to be frugal and re-purpose things. We like to save money by couponing and being frugal as well as doing a lot of things ourselves rather than buying them. We love being outdoors and going on adventures.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Hmm…I would have to say that the hardest part that I’ve been through as a father is being patient and seeing things from a kids point of view. Oh, and learning to pick my battles.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Patience! The more patience that you have the easier it is for you. Kids will listen, learn and act better if you’re patient with them. This includes when they’re misbehaving.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
We don’t have an outside life to be honest. Being parents is our life. We don’t go out and when we do the kids are with us. Occasionally we’ll ship them over to their grandparents but in the end we just go home to relax.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
That I’m not the only one with head strong kids and that other fathers have the same struggles at being a parent as I do.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Kids will be kids. Let them enjoy their childhood and don’t stress over the simple things. Everyone has their struggles when it comes to parenting because not all kids are the same. Enjoy it while you can because they eventually grow up.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Graduating from daddy to dad was a pretty memorable moment but I’m going to say everything. I cherish everything being a father. I love seeing the new things that my kids learn, watching them grow, have fun, make mistakes and learn from them. The list goes on and on.

Website: http://frugalcanadiancouponmom.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FrugalCanadianCouponMom

If you have any questions for Jason Magee, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Entrepreneur, Dad & Blogger, Corey Haugen

January 31, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 615th Dad in the Limelight is . I want to thank Entrepreneur, Dad & Blogger, Corey Haugen for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Corey Haugen with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

A little over a year ago I became a Dad for the first time. I’m also 27, which I feel is still considered pretty young this day and age. Most of the people I know my age haven’t even gotten married yet and are just focusing on their careers. I would have to say I’m in the limelight because around the same time having my daughter I lost my job, started a hard cider company (Grizzly Cider), and now have another full time job along with that business. I also just recently started OhCrapImADad which, my hope is, to provide a unique perspective on being a younger dad in the digital age.

2) Tell me about your family

I have an incredible wife who puts up with all of my insane ideas and together we had our daughter who’s my soul motivation for everything I do.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

So far the largest challenge has been trying to manage all the things I want/need to do from a day to day basis. Regardless I always know when to put the phone down or walk away from the computer to pay attention to my daughter.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

To be honest, I probably need advice rather then to be the one giving it. But I can tell new fathers that no matter how prepared you think you are, you aren’t. Be a problem solver and adapt to life’s little changes. Enjoy it.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

As mentioned before I think the key is to know when to put the phone down or let that email wait until tomorrow. Priorities are key for me and my family always comes first above everything. Even my business and career. The balance comes when you realize that both (work and family) have to work within each other.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Most of the other Dads I know are around my age and the one thing that stands out is that we all seem to experience the same stuff with our kids. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who’s kid wakes up almost every time in the middle of the night.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Baby poop isn’t that bad. Put your shirt over your nose and change that diaper.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Seeing my daughter become her own little person is indescribable. Watching her mannerisms, how she plays with toys or responds to our actions is hands down amazing.

If you have any questions for Corey Haugen, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Professional Journalist & Columnist David Anderson

January 28, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 614th Dad in the Limelight is Professional Journalist & Columnist David Anderson. I want to thank David Anderson for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing David Anderson with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge) ?

I am David Anderson, a professional journalist and columnist for The Richfield Reaper, a weekly newspaper in south central Utah. As a newspaper reporter, I have covered everything from crime to high school sports in my 16-year career. Two and a half years ago, we launched a weekly humor column, Cruise Control. The column is also available in blog form at www.richfieldreaper.com/opinion/columnists/columnist_one/.

The column has earned awards from the Utah Press Associations each year since its inception.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife and I will be celebrating our 17th year of marriage in 2015. We have three children, ages 15, 12 and 9. The two oldest children are boys and the youngest is a girl, who predictably thinks she runs the show.

We also have a cat and a chihuahua, but they’re not important.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father

The thing with fatherhood is that you have to be willing to learn new things. The most significant thing I’ve learned is that each of my children was born with his or own personality, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Not water torture, not electroshock, not even bribing with expensive prizes will not change who they are. Sure, you can teach them right and wrong, encourage good behavior and discourage bad. However, at the end of the day, your children are going to be who they are, and sometimes it’s hard to embrace that.

Sometimes this means sitting at a skate park watching them practice a “tail-whip” rather than going to a movie. Or it means playing with Barbie building blocks instead of going for a hike.

I thought I’d be the coolest dad ever because I like kid stuff such as comic books and Star Wars. However, I quickly learned my boys would rather play baseball and watch YouTube videos of guys crashing their skateboards.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

I don’t think I’m qualified to give advice. My children have survived so far, so I guess feeding them at least once a day is a good practice. Also, always tell you children that you love them.

But mostly, make sure they’re eating.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

By relying on my wife. As fathers, we tend to focus on important things like waxing the truck, how long the grass is and what kind of motorcycle are we going to buy when we finally get some money. By having a partner who actually pays attention to things like are the children wearing clothes, are they in school, did they eat dinner, parenthood becomes a lot easier. If not for my wife, the children may have wandered into the woods years ago.

All joking aside, it’s important to be try and be an equal partner with your children’s mother. You will always come up short, but do your best anyway.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

The most important thing I’ve learned is to spend time with your children and keep them involved with something. It can be sports, piano or whatever, but keep them busy. Preferably with stuff that’s not related to firecrackers, burning things or spray painting items not intended to be spray painted. Kids who are on the tennis team has less time to hang out with the kinds of delinquents I hung out with when I was their age. By keeping them involved, they have something to look forward to and something they can feel good about.

Or just hire a full-time probation officer.

Either way, it gets them out of your hair for a few hours a week. Sometimes you forget how much you enjoy someone’s company when they’re constantly fighting with their siblings all day. Getting them out of the house and doing their own thing reminds you that they are good kids who don’t always have to be arguing about who gets which seat in the van.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Being a parent is like being on the coaching staff for the Denver Broncos. It’s real easy for people to say “they should have done this, they should have done that,” but no one actually knows what’s going on until they are out there on the sidelines calling plays. Young people tend to think they know everything.

When I was younger and knew everything, I remember mingling with other sanctimonious young people who didn’t have children, yet were full of parenting answers. I can’t say I was any different prior to experiencing parenthood for myself. I still remember nodding my head in agreement when people said things like —

“I can’t believe they let their children act like that in the store. My kids will treat me with respect because I won’t tolerate behavior like that in public.”

Oh, please shut up.

Not only are statements like that ignorant to the challenges of being a parent, they’re also cold, callous and cruel. That mom or dad is already mortified that they’re child has thrown himself on the ground in a stomping, screaming fit because he wants a King Sized Snicker’s bar. They don’t need your condemnation on top of it.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

There was that time my wife didn’t get a full night’s sleep for five years. We also had the experience of having a child who, for years, threw up in public every time we went out to eat. Or there was the time my little girl started riding a bike, and I was so busy shouting her praises I neglected to warn her not to ride directly into a telephone pole. Which she did.

Everyday is a memory that should be treasured …

Actually, I’m just glad they’re eating.

It’s important.

If you have any questions for David Anderson, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Teacher & Disability Advocate Ken Mach

January 24, 2016 by dadofdivas 4 Comments

Our 613th Dad in the Limelight is teacher & disability advocate Ken Mach. I want to thank Ken Mach for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Ken Mach with all of you.

Taken by Drew Photography – http://www.drewbphotography.com/

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge) ?

My name is Ken Mach and I’m just your normal father of five, husband, and teacher! I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago playing soccer, video games, and living a great life. From there, I went to college, met my amazing wife, and together we have walked life’s path to happiness by chasing our career dreams, and having the large family we always wanted. We were once residents of Fairbanks, Alaska (no I don’t know any of the people from the shows), but now live in Washington state. I connected with The Dad of Divas through twitter, and I couldn’t be happier that he’s reached out to have me be a part of this site!

2) Tell me about your family

There’s too much to say. I love my family. My wife and I have hit the cutie jack-pot with our 5 kids. Our oldest is 9. He’s a creative dreamer, inventor, and lover of history. He has a confidence that shines, and a heart so big that anyone around him feels better just by being close to him. Our second kiddo-in-command is our 7 year old daughter. She is tough like her mama, and the Sicilian Great-Grandma she was named after. Like her older brother, she has a huge heart that she wears on her sleeve. Her smile lights up a room, and her passion for music is unmatched. Our numbers 3 & 4 were a package deal! The twin boys were the perfect addition to our family. They have laughs that are contagious, eyes that melt you, and personalities that are nothing but memorable. While they are completely different from each other (Athlete vs. Artist/musician), they are brothers through and through. And finally, our most recent addition was born just last year. Our little girl has brought calm to our home just with her presence. She has a reflective quality about her that is amazing to see, and a smile that just.. it just…melts this daddy for sure!

Then there is my wife. I couldn’t have found a more inspiring, gifted, and loving person. She has my back with every step, and shows strengths I didn’t think possible. She’s an amazing mother and business owner, and I couldn’t be any happier.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Honestly, the most difficult challenge with fatherhood has come in the “provider” role of things. I’ve allowed myself to get wrapped up with being a “present” and “able” dad that I’ve dropped the ball at times as a provider. Where I could have/should have taken a summer job or a second job, I focused on being a dad that was home with the kids, doing the house chores, and at times avoiding that responsibility. Thankfully, in doing that, I also supported my wife’s ambition toward owning her own business. Her success there has also inspired me to further tell my story, and create my own side empire with my blog and on-line tutoring site! So, it’s taken me a little while to figure out that balance between being a “present” dad and a provider, but I’m well on my way to changing that!

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Create memories with your kids. And it doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary. Take a day off and take the kids to lunch. Laugh with them, and be silly. It’s amazing to be a dad, and as the kids get older, it’s amazing to hear them talk about the things they remember. We are such an important piece of our kids’ development, and we have to make that as positive as possible. (even when we’re tired, cranky, and having one of those parenting moments!)

Taken by Drew Photography – http://www.drewbphotography.com/

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

What is this “balance” thing you speak of? I truly have little balance in my day-to-day. There is work and then there is family time. After that, and outside interests have been adjusted to include family time. Outside social life has been changed to be meeting up with other families with small kiddos. For example, every Friday afternoon we meet up with families met through the Twins’ preschool or with the older kids’ school friends. It’s a great way to wind down the week, and to connect with families “fighting” similar battles. It also helps us deal with the typical end of week exhaustion our kids feel from the long days of school.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned that there are a lot of dads that don’t know how to talk about being “a dad” when around other dads. Conversations typically go to sports, other hobbies, or work. We have to be excited to talk about parenting, and to help each other with the challenges of being dad. Some of us dads check out and focus only on the income. While this is a good in many ways, it’s also hard for the memory creating. If we could be guys talking about our kids, and life as a dad, we can work together to help create that balance we need. So, for me, I try to talk about my kids, and family to open up conversations. I take the responsibility to bread down the wall, because when I do, I find that most dads are eager to chat it up about life as a dad.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

From my experience, I would say that this isn’t an easy thing to do alone. Parenting requires a team whether with their mom, grandparents, auntie, uncle, teachers, neighbors, or friends. The team needs to be on the same page. Thankfully, I’ve married an amazing person, and together we have aligned our parenting goals. With her help, I’ve learned to stay true to those rules and goals, so the kids know that there is consistency. That consistency is paramount to their overall comfort, confidence, and ability to learn and grow. The rules at home are applied to the other places they go, and that safe consistency helps them be the best they can be each day.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

I’ve loved creating memories with my family. As I mentioned above, I’m all about finding those little moments each day to share with my kids. The most memorable experience for me right now is swimming with my kids and their Granny & Gramps when they recently visited. While we did many things during their trip, I truly enjoyed swim time in the hotel pool. There was so much laughter, and confidence building watching the twins try new things in the water, and our oldest 2 getting better with their swimming ability. I love that they still talk about that time in the pool weeks later.

On a larger scale, we took a trip to Orange County a few years back that was great. We rented a house, and went to Lego Land, the zoo, the beach. We hired a photographer to do a photo shoot for us, to help us capture more of the amazing moments (highly recommend good photography!). It’s a trip the kids still talk about!

Learn More about Ken Mach at any of the below resources

www.theteacherdad.com

The Teacher Dad Tutoring Page

Check out my ebook on talking to teacher’s about your student’s academic struggles.

If you have any questions for Ken Mach, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Andy Ankowski of The Doctor and the Dad Website

January 21, 2016 by dadofdivas 1 Comment

Our 612th Dad in the Limelight is Andy Ankowski of The Doctor and the Dad Website. I want to thank Andy Ankowski for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Andy Ankowski with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers’ knowledge)

My name’s Andy Ankowski. I grew up in Columbus, Ohio, went to college in South Bend, Indiana, and now live in Santa Monica, California.

A very small number of people out there might know me as that guy who once wrote a poem about onion bagels every day for a year. But a (hopefully) larger number of people now know me as the “Dad” half of “The Doctor and the Dad” website – a fun parenting blog I write with my brilliant child development expert wife, Amber.

In addition to the blog, my wife and I have also written a parenting book together called . It’s full of mind-blowing experiments you can perform on your own kids to find out exactly what’s going on inside their heads at all different stages of development, from before they’re even born all the way up through age seven and beyond.

We aimed to make the book equal parts helpful, hilarious, and heart-warming – and I think we pretty much succeeded!

2) Tell me about your family

My wife and I have three kiddos.

Our five-year-old daughter Sammy is sweet, smart and super creative. Our three-year-old son Freddy is funny, fearless and follows his sister everywhere. And our six-month-old girl Millie is just about the smiley-est baby we’ve ever seen.

They’re pretty darn great, if I do say so myself.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Getting used to the fact that, at least for now, our house is always a wreck.

Seriously, there are toys, books, art supplies and tiny pieces of plastic food everywhere you look. We dirty an insane amount of dishes, cookware and sippy cups feeding these ravenous little rapscallions every day. And there seems to be an overflowing trashcan for me to take out every time I turn around.

Even when we all pitch in for a little “family clean-up time” before bed, once the kids play for one minute the next morning, the place is a total pigsty again.

I don’t know how they do it. I guess I should just be impressed.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Don’t be an old-school dad.

I’m amazed when I see dads my own age pretending it’s still 1952, and acting like taking care of the kids is “women’s work.”

If you refuse to change diapers, wipe noses, peel apples, sing bedtime songs and give your kids gobs of hugs, kisses and cuddles whenever they want them, you’re not “being a man” – you’re being a wuss.

And you’re really missing out, too.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

It’s definitely not easy. My current theory is that until you have kids, you are never actually busy. Sure, during college or after you get your first job, there are lots of times when you think you’re busy.

But guess what? Everything you are so busy with then is completely optional! They’re just things you’ve chosen to fill your time with – and you could drop any of them if you really wanted or needed to.

But after you have kids, there is literally something you could be doing to take care of them, or clean up after them, or childproof for them so they don’t accidentally maim themselves every second of every day. And even if you don’t want to do those things, you have to. Because your kids are always there, and they always need you to be their dad.

So to answer the question, I guess the way I balance parenthood with outside life is to just freaking do it. I wake up early so I can spend time with my family before heading to my copywriter/creative director ad agency job. I try not to waste time during the day so I can leave the office on schedule and get home to have dinner and play with the fam. And then my wife and I stay up later than we probably should every night so we can hang out, watch some TV, or write a book together.

It’s kind of crazy, but having kids has made me more productive than I’ve ever been in my entire life.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

The father I’ve learned the most about parenting from would have to be my own dad.

He’s taught me all sorts of amazingly useful stuff – you should joke and laugh with your kids as much as possible, you should always play catch when your kid asks you to (even if you’re completely and totally exhausted), you should keep your kids on their toes every once in a while by telling them you’re actually an alien from outer space, and you should set a good example for your kids by acting sweet, loving and romantic with your wife – even when it totally grosses your kids out.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

It’s a priority-shifting, life-changing and absolutely awesome experience. If you haven’t done it yet, you totally should. (After you have a whole bunch of young, childless fun, of course!)

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

It’s hard to sit back and reminisce when you’re still in the heat of the battle like I am, but here are a few highlights that come to mind from my first five years of fatherhood:

Playing piano with my oldest daughter, talking with my son about how much he loves monsters, taking naps with a baby on my chest, telling knock-knock jokes with the kids, hearing the most adorable little voices imaginable say “I love you,” and being able to record some of these amazing memories I’m making in the .

…Did I mention I wrote a parenting book with my wife?

If you have any questions for Andy Ankowski, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Bradley Hemmings of the Baby Watch Blog

January 17, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 611th Dad in the Limelight is Bradley Hemmings of the Baby Watch Blog. I want to thank Bradley Hemmings for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Bradley Hemmings with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Brad Hemmings, I’m a brand new father, and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Like, none. My wife and I had the misfortune of having an early term miscarriage during our first pregnancy, so when we got pregnant again I decided I didn’t want to miss a moment. I began sharing my daily musings on social media, and, when I got positive feedback, I decided to begin a formal blog: www.babywatchblog.com.

2) Tell me about your family.

My wife Kristen and I have been together since 2009, and have been mostly very happily married since 2012 (I’m just lucky she ever said yes after putting her through a 2 state, 12 hour scavenger hunt to find her engagement ring). Kristen is our family’s primary breadwinner. (Such a 70’s term – I mean, would you call money “bread” in any other setting? I mean, unless you’re a founding member of The O’Jays, of course.) I’m a former English teacher, but I’m proud to say that I now have the opportunity to raise my son to love The Who, the Pittsburgh Pirates and a quality chili-cheese hot dog. Oh, and our son is named is Oliver Danny, and, if you want, you can read a live blog of Oliver’s birth on my blog, complete with impervious pillows, vending machine buffalo chicken wings, and Leonardo DiCaprio. That sentence had 7 commas. That’s too many commas for one sentence.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Largest challenge?!?!? How about ALL of it. If the question was what has been the smallest challenge, my answer would be, “that one time I slept a little.” Largest challenge? How about changing a poopy diaper, getting poop on my hand, realizing my son is peeing in his own face while I try to clean the poop off my hand, then realizing he’s peeing on my shirt while I try to clean the pee off his face. That was a nice challenge.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Find a scotch you like. No, seriously, if you can get through the first night (and you can), then you can get through the second. And then you can get through the first week. Then the second. One day at a time. And before you know it, you’ll enjoy the little things. You’ll even enjoy the unenjoyable things. Like cleaning your kid’s poopy butt. Because you know it makes him feel better. And that’s what makes you feel better.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

I’m not the right person to answer this question. I’m still trying to find a balance between parenthood and anything. We just took our kid out in public for the first time today (other than the hospital / doctor’s office). We went to the park and walked him two miles in the stroller that cost us $200 too much. We had three bags of accessories just in case. We could’ve lived for a week in the park had we needed to. It was an almost entirely successful venture, other than I sat my son in gum on a picnic table. So there’s that.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Thankfully, I am one of the last of my group of friends to have a child. I’ve gained tons of clothing knowledge about the little stuff that they don’t tell you in the classes or the books. While I’ve always been borderline socially anxious, I value the input of others, so I’m currently exploring potential dads groups in my area. Fingers crossed.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Dads: your child is going to be insane for the first few weeks / years. Your wife is going to be insane for the first few weeks / years / lifetime. You have to be the sane one. But you have to do it while getting no sleep, eating cold food, covered in spit up, and with almost no praise. Learn to cope before you have the kid, and you’ll cope better after the kid is here. I mean, I want to lose my mind ten times a day, but I realize that BILLIONS of dads have successfully done this before me. Cavemen have done this. I can do this. And so can you.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

After 19 hours of labor, my wife had to have a c-section. They guided me into the operating room, shielding me from the horrors of what was happening on her lower half. I was trembling because the person whom I care most about was having her intestines removed, and if any of the doctors had a margarita for lunch she might end up dead. After ten minutes of trying not to vomit from fear as my wife tried not to vomit from sedatives, we heard a garbled cry, followed by suctioning noises, followed by a louder, more pronounced cry, followed by a woman who I’ve never met, and likely never will meet again stating, “Congratulations, you have a son. . . . . . And he’s peeing on me.” THAT has been my most memorable experience.

If you have any questions for Bradley Hemmings, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Todd Marriott of Battle Victorious & Giftysong.com

January 14, 2016 by dadofdivas 9 Comments

Our 610th Dad in the Limelight is Todd Marriott of Battle Victorious & Giftysong.com. I want to thank Todd Marriott for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Todd Marriott with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Todd Marriott and I love writing music. I am a singer/songwriter and have released 3 CD’s under the name Battle Victorious (www.battlevictorious.com). We also started a side business called Giftysong.com where we write custom songs to give as gifts or use in promotional stuff (www.giftysong.com). The music causes us to be in the limelight. We have played music for more than 10 years now and have attracted a number of of fans and played countless shows, and done multiple tours. No, we are not famous. While I love music, it is not currently paying the bills. My day job basically involves checking up on vacation properties for Carolina Cabin Rentals (www.carolinacabinrentals.com). I lived in rural Idaho for most of my life, but ended up loving North Carolina and stuck around. I am pretty goofy guy most of the time, and at some point I will probably consider doing stand-up comedy when I get some “free” time. I feel kind of like no one “gets” me except for my wife, and have always had a hard time connecting with guys for some reason. I don’t like watching sports on TV. I guess that’s probably why. I Love God and try to be wise with time and other resources. Life is sometimes a mystery to me.

2) Tell me about your family

I have been married for 10 years this year. My wife Emily is amazing and stays at home with our 3 kids. God bless her. They are Eva (5), Skylar (3), and Paisley (1). We all have our little quirks. Eva loves reading and collecting wallets and purses. Skylar really likes bouncy balls and really really likes food. Paisley just started walking and would play in the toilet all day long if you let her. We don’t obviously, but baths work too.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Patience. Really, a lack of it. I tend to have a short fuse and forget that my kids are so little. I think that I expect too much from them sometimes. If you wanted to condense it all down into one word, I would say BEDTIME. That stereotypical moment when they just NEED to have another drink of water or trip to the bathroom. All I hear is “I need to interrupt your plans again and steal your precious free time away.” I never believe my children when they tell me something that has to do with them “winning” my time. You know, like they are getting out of something or getting rewarded. It’s so hard to sift through the body language of a 5 year old to know if they are needing to pee for the 3rd time in 2 hrs (really?) or if they just want to get out of bed again. Are they really sick, or do they just want your pity and to watch Dora all day? Hard stuff. I just want to do the right thing. To not give in. But also, to give in if it’s right.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Learn your kid’s love language. Some form of love that you show them might mean something to you, but nothing to them. Notice the little things that they do and keep mental notes and use them to communicate on an individual level with each one.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

Outside life? Ha! I’m just kidding. We are church going folk, so we really find that is a good time to reconnect with friends and re-engage those social skills. Other than that, I know that Emily has play dates with the kids etc. I on the other hand am less of a social butterfly and tend to work too much. This one is a work in progress for me. Currently not too balanced, but we don have a healthy marriage and keep each happy and sane.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

That they don’t have it figured out either. We are all in the same boat, and it is full of tiny screaming passengers.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

It’s been amazing and hard work. I can see why a lot of fathers don’t and maybe can’t engage with their children (though not right). It’s messy business and emotionally draining. It takes guts and grit, and lots of time and energy. Not to mention sleep!

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
We have really fun vacations. They are all so memorable even though they mostly just involve getting out of town and being together. Also, my 2 oldest kids love to “play games on me” They really like it when I pretend to be a sleeping “tickle monster”. They run around me while I am “sleeping” and I try to catch and tickle them with my eyes closed. Someone always gets tripped or whacked on the head. I have since learned to hold back a bit more 🙂

If you have any questions for Matt, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

Dads in the Limelight – Michael Smith

January 7, 2016 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Our 608th Dad in the Limelight is Michael Smith. I want to thank Michael Smith for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Michael Smith with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Michael Smith. I’m 38 years old and I have been living in Jacksonville, Fla., since May 2014. I came to Jacksonville to begin a job as Associate Editor of the Florida Baptist Witness, the official news source of the Florida Baptist State Convention (goFBW.com).

2) Tell me about your family

My wife and I have been married 11 years. She is a stay-at-home mom who home-schools our two children, a 7-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl. We also have two pet “kids”: a 15-year-old cat and a 13-year-old dog (a pug). My wife and I feel called by God to expand our family through foster care and/or adoption. To learn more about our journey visit, www.facebook.com/changingalifewithlove.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The biggest challenge I’ve faced as a father is being away from my family because I was working in a different city from where they were living. In January 2014, I was laid off from my job at a newspaper in Tampa, Fla. Two months later, I took a job in Birmingham, Ala., and my family and I were not permanently reunited until the very end of 2014. This separation caused me to really value the time I get to spend with my family.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

I believe that it is important for fathers to lead by example and “live out” the values you want to instill in your kids. Your walk must match your talk.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

I try to maintain balance in my life by setting my priorities and sticking to them (in order): God, family, everything else. I also try not to overcommit myself, which is hard for me.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned that we all have struggles and don’t have everything “figured out”—and that’s OK. I’m so appreciative of the fathers, including my own, who have taken the time to invest in me and I want to do the same for other fathers.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Don’t neglect quality one-on-one time with your wife. Make time for “date nights.” Tell your wife and kids you love them as much as you can. Offer them encouraging words that build them up and don’t tear them down.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The birth of my two children. Neither birth experience went as my wife and I envisioned, but looking back on them we see it was part of God’s perfect plan for our lives.

If you have any questions for Michael Smith, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!