Recently I saw the below ad for the AQUOS Crystal and in that ad they talked about living #totheedge . Well…lately I have felt that I have definitely been living this journey as my daughter, being in 4th grade was about to see “THE MOVIE” and when I say “THE MOVIE” I mean the Birds and the Bees Film at school. I see myself as a pretty down to earth, cool guy but this topic has always placed me on the edge, even though I know it shouldn’t. After seeing this ad and trying out the AQUOS Crystal, I wanted to share on #totheedge experience with all of you! Now, as all of you know, I have two daughters and this alone makes me live #totheedge on a daily basis. When they were born, I knew there would be a time in their lives when we would have to start talking about the Birds and the Bees and other fun items like this (fun is a relative term). Being a guy, I did not know exactly what I was getting myself into when it came to these conversations, but I knew that along-side J-Mom we could get this done when the time came. Over the years I have tried to read things and tried to see what I could do to better prepare myself and my girls. Some of what I read and watched said that if you started talking about anatomical parts and the biology of things early that would help, but to be honest I just never was able to get myself to sit down and try to have the conversations. That being said though there have been times when we have tried to have conversations with our girls, but neither have been very interested or intrigued, which I was a bit surprised about. Even though this was the case, I knew that they needed to know about some of these things just to be informed.
Now that my oldest is almost eleven, I knew that she needed to have more information. She is a voracious reader, so in talking to some other parents, I had heard that the American Girl company had a set of books called, the Care and Keeping of You. It was a two book set with the first book covering and the second book covers girls (plus they have a journal to accompany and as a third in the complete set) that covers biological/physical and emotional changes that girls go through. The books are written with girls in mind, and are written at their level. The first book was written for a bit younger girls, and the second for tweens. She read through the first book and was not too put off, and she quickly decided to start on the second book too. All of this being said, she liked the books and they spurred her to ask questions. Some of the questions were ones that I could answer and some were ones that I let J-Mom answer. What I liked best though was that the books started the conversations before she started to receive wrong information at school or from her friends.
Why is this important? Well, for me, it is about safety and knowledge. I want my girl to know what is ok and what is not when it comes to boys and men getting close to her personal space. I want her to know the right names for things and to not be afraid to ask questions and to be inquisitive about her own health and eventually her own sexual health (though I still don’t know how comfortable I am with that conversation). I have to be honest and say that Diva-J was a bit weirded out by the books at first. When she saw naked cartoon caricatures she actually said “gross.” However, as she continued reading and we talked more as a family I could see that this was breaking the ice at least and that even though this was not comfortable for J-Mom, myself or for Diva-J, we all could talk about this in our own ways and at least set the table for future conversations that would come in the future.
In the end I want my daughters to see J-Mom and I as go-to people when questions do arise (and they will) because the teenage years can and probably will be a whirlwind of hormonal and physical changes that can turn a world upside-down (or at least that was what I remembered) and we want to make sure that she is comfortable with herself and with us, as much as she can be, for the changes that will come. While all of the changes that my daughters will be going through will not be easy to grapple with for them or for me, I am so glad that as a father I can be there to help them along the way. I was greatly appreciative of finding these books and was glad that a company like American Girl is stepping out to make sure that girls are comfortable with themselves and with expressing and discussing themselves, as it is important that girls do care and keep themselves safe and healthy as they grow!
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Fatherhood Friday – The Birds & The Bees With a 5 Year Old
Last week we had a interesting question from Diva-J, “where do people come from Daddy?” We answered, a bit religiously, “God makes people” She replied, “no..no…no… I mean where do people come from” (she did truly emphasize these points). We were completely floored and had no clue that she would even want to know anything about the birds and the bees.
J-Mom and I just looked at each other and started to back peddle, as we had not thought to have an answer for this question yet for our eldest. So we used a stalling tactic that seems to work well, at least for now. We told her, “let us think about the best answer for this and we will get back to you.” She took this and hasn’t asked again, so I guess we dodged a bullet you may say.
So my question for all of you today is how have you dealt with this and how have you approached this discussion with your own children?
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