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One Dad's Quest to Regain Control of his Kingdom

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Managing Needs From Older and Younger Generations

November 21, 2018 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Managing Needs From Older and Younger Generations

Life as a single dad is one of the more difficult positions one can face. But there’s often more to it than people expect. Many times a new father will work and struggle with it for years. And he’ll finally find himself in a place in life where it seems manageable. Obviously, it’s not something one would describe as easy. Parenthood is never going to actually be easy. But eventually, it turns into a normal life where expectations are almost certainly going to be met.

And then something happens. It’s different for everyone. But it seems almost inevitable that in time something will occur which disturbs the balance. One of the most common examples of this involves quite a bit of irony. It’s not just about the father and his child. But rather it’s about the father’s own parents.

It’s just one of the natural facts of life that age can reduce one’s overall functionality. It’s something that everyone is aware of but few people actually prepare for. And the end result tends to be a single father who’s stuck caring for both his child and his parents. It’s a situation so drenched in irony that it would almost be funny if it wasn’t so stressful.

Looking for a solution

There are solutions out there, such as www.pegasusseniorliving.com. But these solutions always work best when one has had time to properly investigate them. There are quite a few issues involved. And understanding the solutions often necessitates first examining the underlying problems.

The biggest issue involved with being a single parent taking care of his own parents involves time. There’s so much more involved with adding another person to the equation than people imagine. It can sound manageable on paper, and this is what often prompts people to invite an elderly parent into their home. It’s often easy to handle it all when it’s only an issue of a day or two. So a quick visit can provide people with a false sense of security.

Lessons about responsibility and time management

Even more, good parenting often involves teaching children the value of perseverance. One can often end up using it as a teaching aid for children. A parent might hold out examples of a difficult situation with his parents as an example of helping people even when it’s hard. This is a good way to demonstrate how to do the right thing. But that becomes more of an issue if it continues over long periods of time.

There’s also the situation of time management as a whole. There’s just not much time in the life of a single parent. Kids need a huge amount of help through much of their day. But mornings are particularly challenging. Consider just how much needs to be done just in terms of time management. Babies are in constant need of diaper changes. And dogs can be an even larger time drain. Dogs require a full walk where they’ll want to examine every little place they do their thing. And even children who’ve fully mastered the bathroom have their issues in the mornings. Looking for shoes, coats and last night’s homework can make any morning hectic. Now, add a senior who needs help in and out of the bathroom along with their grooming needs. This can be a challenging part of your morning.

Relating to authority

There’s also the larger issue of resentment. It’s easy for parents to essentially become angry with their adult child while he’s taking care of them. Many elderly parents still have the case of getting help wrong. They don’t quite understand how their new role in life impacts it either. All of this further aggravates the situation.

One generally finds helping an elderly parent quite similar to that of raising a child. There are issues of dependence and even of sanitary issues, like bathrooms. The main difference is that an elderly parent is an adult.

Some of their needs have changed, but they’re still capable of a full life when they receive professional aid. They can go to a place where they can get the help they need, and also some extras. They can have prepared meals ready for them, they can attending wonderful programs, and they can go to activities that stimulate the mind and keeps them learning. If you are helping an aged parent, and they need more than you can give them, consider a senior care center. This could help both of you get the most out of these challenging years.

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: aging, dad, dads, father, fatherhoof, generational differences, generations

Tuesday Talking – Being One Of The Forgotten

May 26, 2015 by dadofdivas 29 Comments

TuesdayTalkingIn a past article that I wrote about the song “Remember Me” by Mark Shultz, I talked about my struggle with knowing what I should do to make a difference and to not be forgotten and be remembered. Since I wrote that article I started thinking more about those individuals who are forgotten or as what I would say have been forgotten.

remember

Who am I talking about? I see these people every Tuesday at my weekly Rotary meeting. You see we meet at a senior living facility, and unfortunately I see in the eyes of many of the residents a loss, or a sadness that has set in. Though I am making some assumptions in this case, I would say that many of them do not see their families much. I can say this from experience in some of the people that lived in other facilities that I had frequented in my past. Many of these aging people did have friendships, but in my conversations with them, they yearned for more contact and conversation. They had family, but their family was not there often, leaving them alone to their memories.

remember

The more conversations that I seem to have with these people the more I think that though I know I will get older, I dread the idea of becoming one of the forgotten. I hope that I am able to instill in my own children the responsibility to stay connected with their parents.

My Question for the Day?

  1. What about you? What experiences have you had with “the forgotten”? How will you instill in others the importance of not forgetting those around you?


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I look forward to seeing you back here again!

Filed Under: fatherhood Tagged With: aging, being remembered, father, fatherhood, forgotten, rotary, tuesday talking

Interesting Video on Getting Old By Pfizer ( @getold ) #dadchat

August 1, 2012 by dadofdivas 19 Comments

This was an interesting video and concept that Pfizer just released…what are your thoughts on this?

Filed Under: announcement Tagged With: aging, getting older, video, youtube

Is She Old Enough for This??? (Day 62)

December 18, 2010 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment

Diva-J now has her ears pierced…yes, she is getting older, and we made her earn this, but it still came much quicker than I would have planned!


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Filed Under: photo Tagged With: aging, Diva-J, getting older, picture, project 365

In the Blink of an Eye, Our Baby is Gone! (Day 10)

October 6, 2010 by dadofdivas 2 Comments




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Filed Under: photo Tagged With: aging, Diva-PJ, photography, wordless wednesday

She’s Growing To Fast

September 22, 2010 by dadofdivas Leave a Comment



I still cannot believe that Diva-J is now 6. We just got through a busy weekend of birthday celebrations (I am still reeling), but above and beyond this I am feeling that much older as I see her getting older, smarter and more independent… I know I have many more years to come, but it is still hard to grapple with!


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Filed Under: photo Tagged With: aging, birthday, Diva-J, photography

Wordless Wednesday – Independence

April 21, 2010 by dadofdivas 6 Comments

Yes that would be Diva-PJ sliding down the huge blow up slide by herself… she has gotten to the point lately where she has to do everything by herself…oh where has my little girl gone?

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Filed Under: photo Tagged With: aging, Diva-PJ, fun, photography, wordless wednesday

My Birthday…

April 19, 2010 by dadofdivas 4 Comments

People have asked me about pictures form my birthday a few weeks ago…fine…I’ll bite. I was still recuperating from surgery on my leg here, but it was still a fun day!

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Filed Under: photo Tagged With: aging, birthday, photography

Another Year Older!

April 7, 2010 by dadofdivas 5 Comments

Well, today is my birthday…yes, another year older! Do I feel it, you might say so, as last week I ended up having to have surgery on my knee because of a torn meniscus. I would not have thought that being as young as I am that I would already have to be dealing with this type of procedure, but alas, I did. So I am still using crutches, but I am bouncing back pretty well thus far.

Since I have become a parent, I tell people that I can definitely see time moving forward, and it moves by fast! The reason I see this on a daily basis is because of my girls and how much they are growing each day. Diva-PJ is talking more and more daily and Diva-J is learning so much in school. I look at them and am floored by the progress that they make. Watching this I realize how much they are growing which then means that I too am growing older as well. So even though I do see some grey in my hair (they say it looks distinguished on a man), my girls are the mirror through which I see my age progressing, not the static mirror that I look into each morning.

So as I grow another year older, am I upset or concerned about this…no, not really… but ask me a few years down the road and we’ll see if the answer remains the same (it probably will with my optimistic nature!).


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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: aging, birthday, child rearing, Diva-J, Diva-PJ

Riding the Rails

March 30, 2010 by dadofdivas 1 Comment

For the conference that I attended over the past month, I decided to take the South Shore Metra Rail into Chicago to save some money. I have to say that this was a great idea! Not only did I save money (only about $8 each way instead of the $49 per night people in my downtown hotel paid for parking), but it also was very relaxing. I was able to get a ton of things completed while on the train (if only they had WIFI I could have gotten even more completed), and the people were very kind.

Sitting on the train watching the country roll past, it reminded me of how quickly time flies and how quickly our time with our kids fly past us. Before having children I never would have thought about myself getting older, but have you noticed how much more you notice your own age as well as the fleeting time with your kids around?

I attribute this to the fact that we can see our children aging, learning and growing, while as we look in the mirror the changes may not be as visible. In our child we see our own life going by. I am not saying this to be fatalistic or anything, but it was something that simply came to me mind while riding the rails toward the windy city.

What are your thoughts on this?


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Filed Under: fatherhood, parenting Tagged With: aging, family time, parenthood, time

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