You know, I have always seen myself as someone who encourages others to do what they can and be what they can with the gifts that they have been given, but as I have assumed ther rolw of being a father I have found this to become even more important.
In my past post about the importance of fathers I talked about all of the important things that I think of, but also what others have said regarding the importance of being a Dad in today’s society.
Since writing that post, I also started thinking about the importance of a Dad being someone who inspires and creates dreams for his children. What I mean by this is that I hope with my girls that I can instill in them a sense of wonder and allow them to have BIG dreams that can be achieved (while others may not be achieveable). I hope to make them see the world through large amazed eyes, and allow them to experience the world around them as if everyday is a special one to be cherished.
Do I do a good job at this now…I don’t know about that… I want to, but I also think that at times I get caught up in my own world that does not allow this dream making to occur, at least not to the extent that I would like. Much of this goes back to the whole issue of time and not feeling like I have enough of it to spare or at times even share, though I know I should.
So, again, how do I make dreams occur. First and foremost I have to listen to my Divas and know what their dreams are and then by knowing I can work to make them come true. Second, I have to be present, I have to be around to be active in my divas’ lives, so that they will know that I am there for them and that they can rely on my to help them to achieve what they hope to achieve. Finally, I have to be willing to take a chance on my Divas… making their world a bit unexpected (well…at least somewhat unexpected).
So what about all of you… how are you dreammakers for your children?
I look forward to your comments on this one!
Chris – interesting idea. As small girls, I’d spend as much time as I could inspiring them with ideas surrounding things I knew well: science, music, cooking, anything pertaining to Disneyland. Some of my favorite times were when I would tell the girls goofy and fantastic bedtime stories starring themselves.
They’re teenagers now, and still very loving and spontaneous, though quite into friends and texting and online games. So right now their dreams remain somewhat of a mystery to me. My hope is that one day they’ll re-discover their inspiration and bloom greatly.
I feel strongly that modeling dream achievemen is good, but modeling how to respond when you have setbacks is equally important. Sometimes I have to remind my husband to let them just sit in disappointment sometimes. To me, it teaches that disappointment sucks, but it’s not debilitating; you won’t self-destruct if you feel bad for a little while. I’m guessing that’s hard for all men; seeing their kids sad. It’s hard for me, too, but I (unlike my husband) don’t feel a desperate need to fix it right away. Nice post.
I think that many men have an issue with feeling like they need to “fix” things. Jeremy over at Discovering Dad just finished a series on What Dads Think…and this was one of the daily topics discussed… and it was generally the case that this was in fact a case.
Our kids love sharing their dreams with us, and we love hearing them! One of our girls is an inventor. She draws out her ideas on paper, and tries to figure out how to make them work. We support her goal to invent something new, and we show interest and enthusiasm. We feel like fostering a love for learning, and encouraging our girls to try new things (even things they might not be the best at, like a sport they want to try or an art form)are important. They are their own dream makers, it’s our job to keep them dreaming by encouraging them to keep it up!
Chris, in my opinion, time is the most important aspect. Without that you can’t show a child how much you love them. It is a constant struggle. Everyone demands time from us these days.
Sounds like you are doing a great job with your girls.
John, you have that right…it is very difficult to spread yourself in so many different directions. You tend to have to pick and choose the things you teach at times which can definitely be a challenge.