As both a husband and father I always find myself wanting to be supportive of the endeavors of my wife and kids. Yet, I sometimes wonder about what one must do to actually accomplish this. In my experience there are a number of things that have helped me in being able to accomplish this, at least thus far. Some of these things include:
1) Being present
Being actively involved and engaged in the discussion at hand and not preoccupied with the many other issues that may be swirling in the ethos is crucial. Too often, we all get preoccupied by the daily grind, and I know that when I get home, my kids do not care if I had a bad day, they just want Dad to be there and to be engaged with them.
2) Listening
Sometimes I am not the best listener and I will own up to this. I have come to find though that as a father I must be able to listen to the needs of my kids, but also the hopes, dreams and experiences that they want to share with me. As a husband, this is also very important, as if I do not listen, communication breaks down and both J-Mom and I are then not on the same page, and as all of you know, if mom and dad are not on the same page, issues arise.
3) Being encouraging
I feel like a cheerleader at times, and I know that this will only continue as my kids get older and as the relationship between J-Mom and I continues to mature and grow. I know that I will be the type of person who will be at my kids soccer games or at their musical performances. I will encourage J-Mom to excel at the things that she wishes to excel within. There are too many gifts that we are given at wasting them, holding people back from their potential.
4) Help, in a way that helps, not hinders
There are many ways that one can lend a helping hand, but I have come to find that some of these ways may not bring the intended effect, instead it hinders progress. Thus, it is important to do what you can to listen and truly hear what is needed to be able to provide the help that is required at the time it is required.
The above are only a few ideas and there are many other ways to be supportive to your family, what are some other ideas that you may have to share with other Dads?
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Good advice. I have a habit of arguing before my wife's done talking. My bad.