Have you ever had the experience where you are made to feel like the worst parent of the year when you are working to discipline your child? Have you ever said to yourself, I never thought I would say that?
I know that for me, both have occurred. As a father you have to make some big decisions that can ultimately make long lasting effects on the growth and development of your own children.
One experience that I had that just galled me was one day when I was sitting in the parking lot of a Target. Diva-J had just been taken out of the store because of bad behavior and she was crying (screaming was more like it). I placed her in her seat and buckled her into her seat. Needless to say I was a bit upset, but I did my best to keep my cool. As I was shutting the door, a young woman came up to me and said, “I saw you hit your child!”
I was incensed. I in very few words let it known to this so called do-gooder that I would never hit my child no matter how angry I would get. She still thought that I had hit Diva-J, and the only thing that I could think of that might have looked like this was when I was buckling Diva-J into her seat and I had to quickly buckle to keep her in her seat. It didn’t help that Diva-J was screaming the entire time.
Needless to say, not a moment that I would like to happen everyday, but it did teach me a lesson of how some actions can look to a passerby.
Have any of you ever had something like this happen?
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good post. this hasn't happened to me, but i've seen it a few times. (oh let me rephrase that…I have taken my kids out of stores plenty of times and they are in full-blown meltdown stage, but no one has ever come up to me)
But I have seen other parents tug, spank, smack kids in a parking lot. Of course it was the Walmart parking lot and some of the people that go there (at our store) probably were raised with being hit. I know that is a little harsh, but I'm dead on with my thought.
I can see carrying your child out of a store UNDER your arm while they are kicking and screaming. I've done it! To me, i feel like i'm "abducting" my own children (especially when they are screaming "MOMMY MOMMY") and I do wonder what a passerby is thinking!! But carrying them out like that seems safer then them pulling away from you and running into the parking lot.
I think every parents has gone through that at some point.
However, if someone came up to me and had a problem with however I disciplined my child, I would freak the f*ck out on them. If I choose to spank my kid that's no one's business but my own. Who the hell does this woman think she is??
Spanking is something I reserve for the worst offenses with my kid and as a parents we all have to show restraint. But said restraint would be out the window in the case of that nosy woman!
I will admit that I am one of those evil parents that beleives a good spanking works better than a time out. With one 8yo and a 2yo I completely understand the store out bursts ( often cause by the 8yo pointing things out to the 2yo that we can get right now)
But, the disiplin method we have used ofer the years has proven to work well. we are able to take both children out to a sitdown restrant and not worry about them crying or carrying on liek those resterant kids that you dred sitting bekind you.
Dad, yep been there and had that happen. If it happens again, say "I'll give you the count of five to be gone then it's your turn!" Just kidding, it does add fuel to your fire though.
I'd be both pissed and worried if someone accused me of hitting my child. I don't know what I'd do. I hope I'd just say, "You're wrong," and bite my tongue, but . . .
Hasn't happened to me, yet, but little man and I are turbo shoppers and spend as little time out running errands as humanly possible.
As far as the gall of that woman to call you out on something you didn't do, I would have a hard time no releasing my frustration out on them. There is no justification to intervene in anyone's parenting unless it is blatant abuse.
Man, that is a bad situation.
What do you think she was hoping to accomplish by *insisting* that you hit your child? Like after three iterations of "Oh yes you did!" you would finally say, "All right, I admit it." And then what? You'd have to apologize? Your kid would get to hit you back?"
Sounds more like a power trip than a random act of kindness.
Man I feel for ya. Hasn't happened to me but I've been in that situation many times now.
You should have been like "No lady, I didn't hit my kid… but guess who I will hit… *KAPOW!!*" heheh…
I love it Chris, I know that I definitely felt that way when it happened, but I didn't have the guts (I guess) to say something like that to her – if you know what I mean.
Yes, my wife had it happen to her in the supermarket just a few weeks ago. She had to discipline our daughter for yelling in her younger sister's ear for the fourth time and a crusty old man came up and told my wife he saw her snap my daughter's head back. My wife would of course never do anything like that. It made her so mad at the guy she was shaking and she told him to mind his own business and reported him to store management. Turns out he had harassed other store-goers in the past. He's just lucky I wasn't there – he'd have been one sorry S.O.B.
Wow, I cannot imagine how you must have felt. How would I react in this situation? I’ve no idea! I can understand you’d be incensed!
I was… as I think back now, I do not know if I would change my response, or if I would have said more or less. It is hard to step away in a situation like that.
Never had someone approach me and say I hit my kid, but either way WTF is it to do with them anyway? I think I would have told them where to go in no uncertain terms!