Our 736th Dad in the Limelight is Co-Host of the Busy Daddies Do Sci-Fi Podcast, George Ricciardella . I want to thank George Ricciardella for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing George Ricciardella with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I’m George Ricciardella, I publish the weekly webcomic SAHDness and co-host the podcast Busy Daddies Do Sci-Fi. I’m the stay at home dad to my two boys, Jack and Charlie (4 years and 3 months respectively). I’m also an alcoholic in long term recovery. Being an addict, if I’m not consistenly moving forward on some level, then I’m rolling back. I try to incorporate the lesson I learn as a human on a daily basis into my journey as a father to my amazing children.
2) Tell me about your family
Jack teaches me more than I think I’ll ever be able to teach him. The way that he truly lives in the moment is something that I strive for. If a car rolls under the couch, he goes and gets another car. He doesn’t start to resent the couch. I’ve gotta get there. Charlie is my miracle child. He’s the one I didn’t think I’d get to meet. We lost a daughter 8 months into the pregnancy before Charlie was born and before that, we both kind of thought Jack was gonna be it. That we were “one and done”. Our daughter’s name would have been Gwen, and there are times I wonder how much of her is in Charlie. My wife is an amazing woman. If she told me tomorrow she’d like to just kick up her feet for the rest of her life, I think I’d have to find a way to accommodate that. I owe her my life, my children and she consistently amazes me with how healthy minded she is. When I shoot “brain to mouth” there is still a level of stupid to it. She is the opposite. We compliment each other very well.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The consistent challenge of not projecting my own insecurities onto my children. There are many times where I am much more concerned with my reaction to a situation affecting my sons, than I am their own. Why does my heart break if my son cannot do the monkey bars, if he is having a blast every time he falls off?
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Control is an illusion and attempting to wrestle control out of anything more than your own attitude and behavior is a fool’s errand. There comes a point where my job consists of pretty much just providing options, getting out of their way and making sure that one of them doesn’t catch on fire.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
I’ll let you know when I do. Seriously though, there is an aspect of my life that requires daily attention. That’s my recovery. I know full well that if I’m not engaging in the things that keep me sober, that the life I now love will eventually go away. Balance is a challenge and I screw it up on some level all the time. Either too much one way or too much another. I go to meetings, work with other addicts and also have a wife that I like to see alone every now and then. It’s a small miracle when a date night happens, but when it does I have to make sure that we talk about each other and not just the kids.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
That we’re all in this together and that pretty much everyone is some level of scared. More importantly that it’s okay not to know what the hell you’re doing.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
There is no status quo which we are constantly striving for. Life is a series of ups and downs and if lived correctly even the ups feel like downs. Because I’m grateful for all of them. I’m grateful for the good and the SEEMINGLY bad, because really I’m the only one judging the things that are happening. The most important thing that I’ve learned and seemingly the one nugget of advice that has proven true across the board is that time moves really fast. If I’m not living in the moment, I’m missing something. If I’m depressed, I’m in the past. If I’m anxious, I’m in the future. Sometimes I need to just stop and go “Where are your feet?” and live.
If you have any questions for George Ricciardella, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!