Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads ) – Matt Hurst ( @matthurst16 ) #dadchat

I used to be a sports writer and ultimately covered the Los Angeles Angels for four seasons for the Riverside Press-Enterprise, a once 200,000 circulation paper. At the time it was my dream job – covering a Major League Baseball team for a large paper. I got to see parts of the country I never imagined I would or I would want to (I’m looking at you, Baltimore). But after awhile, the grind of 162 games (I would cover about 140 per season), the travel, the six weeks of spring training, the Winter Meetings, etc. and I knew I needed a life change, especially if I was going to have a family. One year I got a hotel statement saying I had spent 185 nights on the road – that’s more than half the year! I saw too many beat writers who were divorced or who didn’t have time for their kids and I didn’t want to be one of those guys even though I didn’t have kids yet and had just gotten married. So I moved into the world of communications/marketing/public relations and it’s a lot better work-life balance, plus it’s given me greater opportunities for career advancement. I don’t regret it for one instant, although I still have the writer bug in me … thus my blog: sothisisfatherhood.com

My wife, Suzanne, and I have been married over six years and we have a 10-month old, Ella.

Being patient. I am not patient by nature and every day I have to take a deep breath and understand that this little munchkin relies on me for everything in her life – and she will for a long time. So when she’s easily distracted when

I’m feeding her and she ends up getting peas smeared all over her face, I can’t get angry at her. Same thing goes for a middle of the night diaper change. It took me a bit, but I finally realized that if I peed myself I would cry in the middle of the night too and I would need a change.

 As my daughter grows older, I realize that as someone who played sports through college and then worked in them into my 30s, I wonder how much sports might affect her. Will she be interested in them? Will she want to play them? That’s why I started a series of podcasts interviewing women in sports, who either work in them or who played them at a D-1 level or above. It’s helped shed some light on their experiences growing up and how it shaped them.

Be patient. Enjoy it, because it’s all awesome – even the crappy parts (pun intended) are awesome. It’s funny, we’re finally getting around to watching Breaking Bad and they just had their daughter and even though it’s only been 10 months for my wife and me, we both kind of said “Remember when Ella was that little?” because it’s crazy how big they get and how quickly it happens. Just be sure to take a lot of pictures, smile a lot, and think that everything your kid does is brand new to them, so as they soak it up, you should too.

It helps to be middle class because we’re not tempted to do a bunch of crazy things and spend money doing them! Haha. Seriously, though, I was an open book about receiving advice when my wife was pregnant, several people said “Just take your kid with you.” And they’re right. The more you acclimate your child to the outside world, I think it’s better for them. Plus, it’s better for you to not be anchored to your house or your kid. If you want to go out and eat someplace, just do it.

As far as having “me time” my wife and I have done a good job of having those 3-hour breaks or so where I can go and get a beer with a buddy or something just to be able to stretch your legs a little, so to speak. It’s healthy for everyone to do it. And you know what? When you’re out, you truly can’t wait to get home.

Through an online Facebook community, I’ve learned that everyone is as sarcastic as I am, which is nice, because you know that others are going through the same thing as you, but in different episodes of life, and having a sense of humor about it brings some levity to the situations. But, we can all be sensitive when necessary. From my friends who are already fathers, I’ve learned to just be sure to enjoy as many moments as you can. Right now my kid is upset because she’s in her chair rather than sticking items from around our house into her mouth and I have to pause to distract her by clapping and she smiles. It’s those little moments that you have to take mental snapshots.

I had a realization at one point that this little human is 100% relying on me not to kill her. And I mean that from aspects of: feeding her, bathing her, driving safer, keeping her away from electrical outlets or long pieces of rope she can tie around her neck. I’m serious – half my life is playing defense right now. But knowing that, it gives you a deeper appreciation for parenting because if you screw up and your kid pays for your misstep, then how could you live with yourself?

Other than the not-so-original answer of when I first held her, one of the best memories I’ve had was when Ella first responded to me saying her name. She was about five months and I said her name and she made an effort to look at me. That was powerful. I really like the quiet moments right before I put her to bed – feeding her a bottle and sitting in her room, rocking her and singing her Motown songs. I don’t know why I always choose Motown, but I guess it’s better than Rage Against the Machine. The first time I went shopping for her was fun and completely awkward because the things I liked were things that a baby girl should not be wearing. And, watching her learn new things every day. Whether it’s pushing a toy, or cruising around the furniture as she tries to stand on her own, or recognizing that our dogs like her and will lick her head when she crawls, just knowing that she learns something new every day and her little brain is spinning so fast to figure it all out