Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads ) – Darrell Humphrey ( @DarrellHumphrey ) #dadchat

1) Tell me about yourself

My  name is Darrell Humphrey, 33; I’m a  Stay at Home Dad both on purpose and on accident.  I’m a Chaplain and a Minister all by trade, but the great gift I have right now, during this season of my life is staying at home with my boys.  It has been one of the most rewarding, scary and yet enjoyable and fun seasons of my life ever.  I mean who wouldn’t love going to the river to fish with their kids, or pet unusual animals at a museum?

2) Tell me about your family

My wife, Meredith, and I have been married almost 7 years. We have 2 boys, Ethan, 5 and Owen who is 3 years old.  Ethan loves school, drawing, playing outside and with his brother. Owen loves Daniel Tiger, being silly and playing with his brother.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The greatest challenge of being a father, is the judgment you get from others when you are out with your kids. I’ve often been asked to leave public playgrounds because of others being uncomfortable with me being their with my kids. It’s frustrating to be with your kids when people, especially moms, look at you like you are a creeper. I’m playing with my kids, not trying to hit on you.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

My advice I give to other fathers is to ask, “What is the one thing you missed from your father growing up? Because that is what your kids need from you right now.” When you kids are babies they rely on you for everything. As they get older ask yourself this question. You’ll be surprised the responses that you come up with for yourself. Then, apply that to your kids. Whether it be time, affection, or special activities that’s what you do. Another bit of advice, especially those with girls, is to ask your wife what she missed from her parents. Then apply that to your girls. You’ll be amazed at how they respond.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

After a year of being an at home dad, I was lonely, isolated and needed a community for both me and my kids. In October 2015, after attending the National At Home Dad Network HomeDadCon, I started Charlotte Dads Group. Starting this group has helped me balance parenthood and outside life by having a community of dads and kids to interact with. I also make sure that my wife and I have monthly date nights so we can enjoy life together.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Having an older mentor who is a father has helped me tremendously. Talking about life, parenting, marriage, my impact, struggles, triumphs and more has helped me to process life. I’ve learned so many valuable things from having a mentor.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

As my kids have gotten older, seeing them take an interest in different things has been good to see. Asking them what they want to do, or things they like helps them to develop their dreams, hopes and more. I want to raise them in the way they should go, not the way I want them to go. Nothing is more damaging to a kid, no matter their age, for them to like art, and you demand they play baseball (for example). They have choices

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Simply taking the time to remember experiences and reflect on them has been my most memorable experience as a parent. Remembering when I put my oldest on the bus for the first time last year to his last week of Pre-K this week. Remembering all the experiences both of my kids have had and shared with others over the years. Most of the pictures I take are of my kids. Simply taking the time to go through them and laugh and cry and simply remembering makes being a parent worth it.