Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads ) – Chris Davidson ( @buffdaddio_ ) #dadchat

I’m Chris Davidson, I’m a personal trainer and stay-at-home Dad in Ireland, and also run a blog and podcast to help Dads get in shape called Buff Daddio (www.buffdaddio.com). Basically I train clients before 9am and after 5pm, and look after our 3 kids 9am-5pm while my wife works in her fancy schmancy well-paid corporate job!

I’ve been married to my (Canadian) wife for 13 years and we have 3 kids – 2 wrecking-ball boys (6 and 8) and a little girl (2). We originally lived in London, England after we got married, and both had corporate jobs. Then when we were expecting our first child, this coincided with me wanting a more rewarding career, so I retrained to be a personal trainer. I’d always been into fitness and nutrition, and found I loved helping other change their lives around by getting fitter and healthier.

We moved back to where I am from in the North of Ireland, and I built up my personal training business, then we had our second son. My wife wanted to return to the corporate world, and so when our second son was 1 year old we decided that I would no longer train clients during the daytime, and would instead work 5 hours per day – early mornings and evenings. So basically I’m a part-time Personal Trainer now, and 9-5 Stay-At-Home-Dad, and we have a little daughter now too!

I would say the largest challenge has been striking a balance between being a father-figure who my kids respect, look up to and learn how to be good people, while also being able to goof around with them, which is one of my favorite things in the world to do. I want them to feel comfortable wanting to play with me and chat about anything and everything, while also recognizing that I’m their father first and a friend second. Now we’re on our third child it all comes naturally, but I got it wrong a few times when the two boys were younger.

Be a good example to your kids – be the type of person you want them to be. Look after your health and fitness, show them the importance of respecting others and talking things through. And put down your damn smartphone 😉

I am fortunate to go to a gym that has it’s own daycare where they can look after my daughter for an hour while I work out, and that is just an awesome thing to be able to do mid-morning a few days a week. I get to clear my head and do something for myself. In terms of social life, it’s been difficult as we don’t have many babysitting options! My wife’s family is in Canada, while my mother passed away before we had kids, so basically if ‘Grandad’ can’t take them then my wife and I are staying home on a Saturday night! But we go out separately with our guy-friends/girl-friends once a month without giving each other a hard time about it – we both get that wanting to get away from the kids sometimes doesn’t make you a terrible parent!

Oddly I have learned more good stuff from online Dads I interact with, rather than my own friends who live locally. My friends seem happy enough to give the kids a hug before school, then exchange a few words in the evenings before bedtime, then go play golf or do guy-stuff at the weekends – many of them still have a kind of 1950s mentality when it comes to parenthood – wife looks after kids even if she also works 9-5, husband is in charge of discipline and ‘needs a break’ at the weekend. I just don’t get that, as all I’ve ever known really is being around my kids all the time, listening to their crazy stories and escapades, helping them with stuff, kicking a ball around. I couldn’t imagine playing a bit-part role.

So the dads I’ve met online are the ones who inspire me, as they are also very involved, and can relate to how I feel too. I’ve learned from them that Dads are vital to kids’ upbringing just as much as mums are, and we need to be just as involved.

Not to worry if you don’t feel like a natural at fatherhood straight away. It’s not immediately apparent what to do with these little bundles when they arrive apart from feed them and keep them safe and alive. But in time you find your own groove, your own way of doing things, playing with them, talking with them, teaching them. And the annoying thing is that what works with one kid won’t necessarily work with the others, as they are all different – it takes time to get to know each child and for them to get to know you. Don’t fret it, just keep putting in the hours and you’ll noth get on like a house on fire eventually!

Oh I have become such a wet blanket since I became a Dad. I get teary at the drop of a hat now – seeing them develop confidence and skills and feel proud of themselves gets me every time – appearing in the school play, getting a new belt in jiu-jitsu, mastering some soccer skill they’ve been working on, riding their bikes, swimming, remembering all the words to a song they love, reading their first book all the way through by themselves – every time they make the “I really did it Dad!” face it sets me off. I’m feeling emotional now just typing about it. I’m pathetic I know, but I love every minute!