Our 435th Dad in the Limelight is Brian from Dashingdad.com. I want to thank Brian for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I am a part time stay at home dad: I watch my daughter on most days, but do work as a professional archaeologist part time. I am also an endurance athlete, having completed the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon in 2011 and a 31 mile race in February 2014. I am shooting for at least on 100 mile race this year, and eventually want to complete an Ironman triathlon (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, then a 26.2 mile run).
I am in the limelight really only in the sense of my blog and facebook page for Dashing Dad.
2) Tell me about your family
I have a 14 month old daughter (who is a force of nature) and an almost 7 year old son (who is a brilliant sweet boy), plus an amazing wife. I have known my wife over half my life, and we have been together most of that time. She is my best friend. We also have a dog, who has run a marathon with me, and a cat, who is an annoying bag of fur.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The hardest thing for me has been for me to not be so negative with my son. I find myself pointing out the things that he has done wrong, not the things he has done right. I think this is a carry-over from my own upbringing. My memories of my own father were that he was always pushing me to do better, but not always recognizing my accomplishments. My son also has many different traits than I do, which I struggle to understand, which also leads to me being a bit harsher on him than I should.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
My best advice is to roll with the punches. You are going to have days where you have a crappy day at work and you come home to a screaming, sick child with a poopy diaper (or you spent the entire day at home with said sick baby.) But you will have other days where your kid runs up to you and give you a hug. It will all even out. What you need to do is make sure not to take out frustration on your kids (or your wife).
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
Right now, I am a stay at home dad, so it is easy(er) to balance. The hard part is getting an outside life. When I was working, I did my best to be home with my family in the evenings, and if I couldn’t be home, I would skype with them. The other thing I do for an outside life is run. Running is my outlet, it is my exercise, and it is a way to push myself. I can take my daughter in the stroller when I run, and I am encouraging my son to do kids races (he has done six 5ks and many ½ mile and 1 mile runs). I just joined an ultra running team, and plan on doing a 24 hour race in June. I will be running for 24 hours, and I am hoping to get over 100 miles in that time.
As far as hanging out with friends, most of my friends have kids, so we usually just hang out with our families.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I learned that is there no “right” way to be a father, though there are wrong ways. As long as you are providing a loving, nurturing environment, you are being a good father. Probably the best advice I have received is that it is okay for my kids to fail. You can’t always help them, or force them to do it right. Making mistakes is how they learn.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Being a father is a great responsibility. You are responsible for at least one other human, and you have to make sure that little human can grow up to be a decent human. But it is also offers a huge reward when people tell you that you have a great kid.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
There are so many to choose from. From watching my son repeatedly diving into a pool at 2 years old, his excitement at his first medal from running, my daughter’s first steps, her multiple “Hi Kitty”s during the day, but my most memorable moments would have to be the days that they were born. The long hours (we left for the hospital at 3am both times), the pain (for my wife), watching that wet, crying, thing pop out, finding out the gender, and knowing that my life was completely changed.
If you have any questions for Brian, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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