Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads ) – Scott LeRette (@Austintistic)

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I am just an average guy living in a small town in rural Iowa. My priorities, in order of significance are: Faith, Family, Friends and our pets. I like playing the acoustic guitar, chess, reading and running. I am very passionate about my favorite color, green and have a fondness for fine watches and fountain pens. My true passion today is on finishing my book, Austintistic and posting to my blog of the same name in hopes that some day soon I can advocate, educate and speak (as a career) on behalf of our son Austin and all others like him who are autistic. Currently my blog has thousands of readers and the posts are the random thoughts I have used to help me finish the book. This has all allowed me to meet many fine people from all over who have the same passion and desire to help other people.

I have been married to my best friend and southern belle, Teresa, for seventeen years and we have two boys, Logan, 14 and Austin, 16. We are extremely active in our church where I helped start a praise band several years ago. Teresa and I lead the highschoolers and the boys are active in many areas. We currently have one pet, Mason, Logans Aussie after losing Teresa’s beloved pug Gidgette and my coolest canine friend, Emma the Aussie both this year or so. We will have new puppies very soon. We very much like to focus our world around our home and all that entails. As we have grown up it is becoming apparent what truly matters is surely not far from home. I think we are on to something.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Balancing faith, our marriage, the boys and dealing with the special needs we are blessed with is an everyday challenge. Not only is Austin autistic, but he also has a genetic bone disease which has left him with countless breaks (25+ including his back twice), some life-threatening. He also has different heart defects which resulted in open-heart surgery. Our bubble, our existance, who we are revolves around hospitals, doctors, pharmacies and never-ending trips to here or there with our special son. It is difficult but the bone and heart issues are a piece of cake compared to the challenges autism presents. My writing has really helped me see in to my son like I never imagined. I now see so much of who and what he is and I hope this comes through in my words on paper. All along the way it has also showed me just how strong our family unit is and even with the stresses our relationship has encountered we know we are so much stronger for it.

Focus first on your priorities and be honest with what you see. You may not always like what you need, instead focusing on what one wants. One priority I changed several years ago was an addiction- alcohol. I felt too much of my time and efforts were consumed by golfing, bars and drinking that I finally hit a wall and new it was something my life, faith and family would be infinetely better without. So this was a big decision and change for me. It has been a true blessing- everything is better for it. There have been some difficult things associated with this decision- I have had to “change playgrounds and playmates” so to speak, resulting in some friends I don’t see much anymore nor the hangouts I once frequented, but it was the right thing to do. I highly reccommend joining a small group/accountability group which I have done. It keeps me in check and leaves me asking and catching myself each week. When ones responsibilities are in better order then it helps to bring your actions into synch with your priorities.

This isnt as hard as the question first seemed. As soon as I realised what I had, my family and everything it stands for…it was a no-brainer. My outside life revolves around whatever my family is doing. We have fewer truly close friends than when we were in college but the ones we have now are especially meaningful, positive and lasting. We have been diligent in keeping drama and negativity out of our home- otherewise one becomes what they despise. For me to be honest with the question all I can say is that my outside life and parenthood are joined so deeply that they are many times one and the same. The only part of outside life that has a drag on my family is the travel I do with my job. I cover many miles and it is tiresome.

I always check myself and think of what my father might have done or how he is with me to this day. He was and is a great father and I can only hope to be the father he was to me. I go to him for many things. It is very nice to have him living so close. I also watch intently while fathers interact with their children. I do it in public all the time and I am sometimes amazed and other times happy to see how a father solved a situation or diffused a meltdown. I guess as a father it is not as easy to come up with an answer to this question because we (men) dont talk and interact like our spouses might. I do like to take things that other fathers tell me is working for them. I am like a sponge in this regard because with an autistic son one is always trying to find new tricks and solutions.

I see the act of fatherhood as the ultimate privelege and one which is often taken for granted, even neglected. Every single word we say has an impact. People forget that words mean things, especially to our younger children. Our words can and do have a profound impact on our children so even though its not always easy I try to think before I blast away. But just as our words are important so are our actions which accompany them. Our children will follow. They see what we do and want to be just like mom and dad. I always think of this and remember the times I was at a bar or on the golf course. Sometimes inaction may be as important as a bad behavior.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The times where my kids look me in the eye and tell me something that I can see is from their heart. It is a joyful moment.