Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )-Trevor Mulligan ( @oneSAHD ) #dadchat

My name is Trevor Mulligan. I am a father of two boys.  I am a full time stay at home dad (SAHD).  I quite my job in advertising to focus on my family, which I think is more important than anything!

I would not say I am in the “limelight”, but I am a part of a huge community of other parents in the social media arena.  I think it helps me to hear their experiences while I share mine.  I am open to learning, helping and teaching as I go.

I have started a blog, oneSAHD.com and I am active in the social media forums (blog groups, twitter and Facebook).  I am not a “big time” blogger.  I will write a few articles here and there.  Mostly due to the fact that I don’t have the time.  Blogging is the last thing I will get to so normally gets skipped.  I have been keeping a list of things I would like to write about, one day when my kids start school and I have a few extra hours in the day, I will write about them all.  Until that day, I keep on making my list!

My wife, Jennifer and I have been married for 5 years now.  I am in my early 40’s and Jenn is in her late 30’s.  We both wanted to have kids and after trying for over a year, Miles, our oldest finally joined us. At that point we were undecided if we were going to have a number two, after the amount of work it was with one. Originally we wanted two with them being close together. The lack of sleep can get to you after a while, so we were on the wall. Well after almost 20 months, Mason, our youngest joined us. We could not be happier, still exhausted and tired, but we wouldn’t want it any other way!  My wife and I are happy with our two boys and are done having kids.

Personally the largest challenge for me is having patience with my boys. I have the experience, they have none. Remembering to slow down and explain everything.

Why do I have to tell them 100 times to do this or that.  Why do they have to continually push the boundaries to make sure that they are not supposed to do that (yes, boundaries are important).

Patience is a hard thing to have all the time, and is a challenge for me since I am with them all day.

My advice to other fathers is to really watch your children, and their actions.  They will tell you things in different ways. Learning to identify those signs, will help you understand what they are going through, and what you can do to help them make the transition easier, for everyone! They will absorb information like sponges, so be careful of your actions as well.  They will repeat what you do and how you do it!

I still do not think I have balanced my family life and the outside life.  Since being a SAHD, I am with my boys all day everyday. My wife pushes me to get out and do something else, even for an hour, go and decompress. I work hard to making time for myself, but it is hard to make sure that happens.  I will take classes, like painting, just to get out of the house!

Although, there is always something that needs to be done, it is a never ending cycle that is hard for me to walk away from – kind of my OCD!  It is also difficult for us, since we have no family near by.  So we do not have the opportunity to drop the kids off at the grandparents and take a day off.  It is not easy balancing my family life with outside life with two kids under 3.  I will use the social outlets to help keep me balanced until I can have a life outside our house.

We all go through the same things, just in different ways and different times.  It is good to have other dads to commiserate the good times and bad with to help stay grounded.

It goes by too fast! Enjoy every moment you can now!  Also, watch what you do, how you do it, what and how you say things – Kids will learn more from watching you than anything else. They are always watching and absorbing information!

I do not have one memorable experience to speak of.  There are obviously the births and the “normal” first – words, steps and such.  There are the things that they do on their own after all the time you spent teaching them.  The first time Miles took off riding on his bike, it blew me away!  There are too many awesome experiences like that with both my boys to be able to just pick one.