Dads in the Limelight ( #limelightdads )-Brent Almond ( @DesignerDaddy ) #dadchat

Dads in the Limelight

Our 338th Dad in the Limelight is Brent Almond. I want to thank Brent for being a part of the Dads in the Limelight series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I am a self-employed graphic designer — AKA Design Nut, where I create logos, web sites, illustrations, and other fun (and sometimes functional) stuff. I’ve been working on my own since 2002, prior to which I worked at a couple of big design firms in DC. I started working in design straight out of school (’92) and over the years have amassed a good number of awards, lots of great friends/mentors/mentees, and quite a few gray hairs.

My other persona is Designer Daddy, a blog I started on my son’s 1st birthday. It started as a way to write about all of the crappy kids products (and a few cool ones) I discovered on the road to becoming a dad. However, it has since evolved into a personal journal, a way to showcase my design work related to children or education (of which there is much), to meet and do Q&A’s with other designer dads, and to advocate for issues relating to LGBT rights, same-sex parent families, and adoption.

One way I was recently somewhat limelight-ish was being part of a group of Maryland parent bloggers invited to meet with Governor Martin O’Malley. In addition to sharing details on upcoming initiatives, the Governor held a roundtable of sorts with our group of 8 bloggers, answering questions on topics such as education, gun control and mental health. It was particularly memorable to be able to thank him in person for supporting the recent passage of the Same-Sex Marriage Bill that will allow my partner and I to be legally married, and for our family to be awarded all the rights and privileges every other family in MD has.

Brent Almond, Dads in the Limelight, #limelightdads, Dad of Divas, dadofdivas.com

Another thing I’m pretty proud of is that I wrote a song for/about my son called “My 2 Daddies (Can Beat Up Your 1).” I wrote the lyrics a couple of years ago, then added the music and performed it at a talent show in October of last year. It won the “Judges Award” and I’ve since done an actual recording of the song! You can read more about it here as well as buy it on iTunes — all profits will be donated to Family Equality Council, a nonprofit that advocates for same-sex parents and their families.

2) Tell me about your family

I’ve been with my partner Nick for 15 years. We had a commitment ceremony in 2003, and plan to get legally married this year! We have a 3 year-old son, Jon. He is adopted, and we were lucky enough to get him the night he was born — he spent his first night with us in the hospital, and has been keeping us on our toes ever since. We also have a 7 year-old Portuguese Water Dog named Cordi — she’s a very patient big sister, and she and Jon love swapping toys… and kisses.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Finding time to do all I want to do in life (work, blog, friends, husband, etc), as well as the time it takes to be a truly good father. They often overlap, but sometimes they don’t and there just never seems to be enough time in the day. I am writing this at 11:41 pm.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Everyone says “Having a child is totally going to change your life.” Believe them. And ever since becoming a dad, my mantra has been, “I’ve never felt so young and so old at the same time.” I didn’t become a dad until 40, so I don’t have the energy I might have had a few years earlier — but it also is such an energizing experience. Seeing things through his eyes, experiencing things with him for the first time, re-learning all of the songs you sang as a kid. It’s been a blast!

I also highly recommend parenting classes! I think most people think of that as some kind of court-mandated thing, but there’s a great organization in our area (Parent Encouragement Program – PEP) that offers workshops and classes on everything from anger management (yours and your child’s) to Talking With Teens to potty training your toddler. I don’t learn a lot from reading self-help books, but I do from interacting with others in the same boat. And why wouldn’t you get training for the most important job you’ll ever have?

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

As I mentioned, finding time for everything has been a big challenge for me. My partner is an attorney, so has a pretty demanding job. Working for myself has its demands as well, but it also allows me much more flexibility. I’m not a full time stay-at-home dad, but our daycare is nearby, so I’m often the backup daycare, errand runner, emergency picker-upper. I love the extra time with my son, but I’ve had to learn to really shut work completely off (brain, computer, phone, etc.) so I can give him my attention and not bring my stress of work into our interactions. That’s just a recipe for disaster.

In a sense, I’m less in the limelight than I was, in that work has become less of a focus for me. But I do find it frustrating at times — income is less, I feel less plugged into the industry. So it’s important for me to still network, whether that’s lunch with colleagues, attending the occasional workshop or networking event, or staying connected online.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

From my own father I’m trying to soak up and transfer all of the patience he showed me and my 3 younger brothers. From other fathers (friends, online, etc) I just take comfort in knowing we’re not alone, and that none of our challenges are that unique or totally insurmountable.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far? What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

It’s been more difficult than I ever could have imagined, but also more wonderful than I ever could have imagined. Iv’e experienced a wider range of emotions in these 3 years than in my whole life before combined! I love seeing my boy grow and learn, to be passionate about the same things I am (super heroes, music, etc) and to find his own passions (dinosaurs, generally running around non-stop). I can’t wait to see what happens next!

I’d say the first and most memorable experience was the whole process of his adoption, getting to know his birth parents and the completely different world they came from, being there the night he was born and living in a hotel for 2 weeks until all the paperwork went through, flying home with him (cross country), coming home to a house full of baby supplies and gifts friends had left for us.

And most recently, we traveled to Italy to visit my husband’s parents and extended family, and so Jon could meet them. Flying across the ocean with a 2-1/2 year-old was no piece of cake, but he was a real trooper, and of course he charmed everyone he met while in Italy. My husband really enjoyed reconnecting with family, some of which he hadn’t seen since he was a boy. And I loved being enveloped by a giant, loving Italian family — and was especially happy to bond with my Father-In-Law, who up to that point had only spoken a handful of words to me in the 15 years I’d been with his son. Definitely the trip of a lifetime!

If you have any questions for Brent, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight

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