Dads in the Limelight
Our 384th Dad in the Limelight is Adam Dolgin. I want to thank Adam for being a part of the Dads in the Limelight series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
Hi, my name is Adam Dolgin and that is how my colleagues know me in the many LinkedIn parenting groups I am involved in, but on Facebook and Twitter I’m known as “Fodder 4 Fathers”, or “F4F” or the “The Big
F’er.” I’m a dad blogger turned website owner (www.fodder4fathers.com) turned outspoken advocate for involved dads. But please, Adam is just fine.
I’m a working dad who splits all parenting duties with my working wife, Jessica. We have two beautiful children: a daughter, D.D., age 3, and a son, “The Lil F’er” (or Little Fodderer, as he is known online), age 9-months.
Knowing that this fun stage won’t last forever. I like infants, babies and toddlers. They’re cute, and even at their worst they can still make me laugh. Sadly, I don’t think a teenager telling me to go F@#% myself because I don’t feed in to all their wants will be as much fun.
Enjoy it, and don’t take everything so seriously or personally. This is the best time of your life. Be present and don’t take anything for granted. Parenting is what you make of it. If you see it as being hard, it will be. I prefer to see it as a fun challenge where I can always improve for the next time.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Being in the limelight online is pretty easy. My family is known all over the world, but I can shut out that world at any time. Being a parent is what put me in the limelight so the two are connected – I’ve let people inside my home life hopefully to show that it doesn’t take much for dads to be more involved in their kid’s lives. I also work a 9-5 job, teach one night a week, and always have projects going, but my kids are my number one priority. But it’s pretty easy to do it all with a smartphone these days… Well, not the parenting part.
We are all different, but we are all the same. The men I meet on my Facebook page, or in various Dad Blogger Groups, or in the park, all want to be great, involved parents to their kids. We don’t all agree on all the particulars of raising our kids, or our roles in the household (I know working dads and SAHDs), but we all agree being a dad is the greatest job in the world.
I say if you’re going to do something, do it right (or to the best of your ability) and give it 100 percent. You can’t half-ass parenting. It starts from day one. I never hid behind my wife and let her take the lead with the baby. My daughter needed changing. I did it, and I didn’t ask for a medal. I told my wife that I would do the midnight feed, or the bath, or make dinner, or whatever. And I never came home (and this only applies to when my wife was on maternity leave, mind you) and assumed that my job for the day was done and raising the kids was my wife’s job. If she was working until 9 pm, I was working until 9 pm. I think the operative word in your question was SHARE, as it’s the only way I know how to parent. My wife and I share every single responsibility.
The births. They were both such different experiences: one came out so fast and the other didn’t breathe for the first two minutes that it seemed like an eternity. Having to take my 3 week old son to the emergency room in the middle of the night by myself and us having to watch him fight for breath in a hospital room for 4 days (RSV). The day my daughter learned to say Dada (of course). And just watching how much my daughter loves my son, and vice versa. They are our pride and joy. My wife and I just feel like we won the lottery (although there are days when my 3-year-old acts up that my wife wants to give her back).
If you have any questions for Adam, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!